Friday, August 8, 2014

Pheaturing Phile Alum Abby Weitz From Wise Girl

 Hey there, how are you? Welcome to another entry of the Phile. Adonis-like millionaire Donald Trump... who made headlines this week for stating his opinion that Ebola-infected medical workers "must suffer the consequences" of their humanitarian efforts has apparently finally found a thing that he does not want his name plastered across in giant gold-plated lettering. The real estate mogul is trying to get Atlantic City's Trump Plaza and the Trump Taj Mahal to remove his name due to the run down conditions of both establishments, claiming in a lawsuit that they're damaging his brand, which "has become synonymous with the highest levels of quality, luxury, prestige, and success." Donald Trump is a terrible person but a wonderful Andy Kaufman character. I saw him once at Trump Plaza in New York. We were going down the escalator and he was coming up the escalator. He did say hello, which was nice.  "Curb Your Enthusiasm" lead and creator Larry David will reportedly be starring in a Broadway play he has written, titled "Fish in the Dark", in which he will presumably play a misunderstood, crotchety guy who has a number of arguments over small matters with the other characters in the play, much like in that one other thing he did.  Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos is promising fans of the cult sitcom "Arrested Development" that they'll have a whole new season of the show to pick apart and complain about on Twitter for years to come. "It's just a matter of when," he told USA Today. How many of you are excited about this? Not me. I've never seen the show, and I don't have Netflix. When Netflix first came out I thought it was a channel that shows nothing but basketball movies. You know, Blue Chips, Hoops... I can't think of any others right now. Singer-songwriter Marianne Faithfull has revealed new details concerning the death of rock music icon Jim Morrison. She claims that her boyfriend at the time, Jean de Breteui, supplied the Doors frontman with a supply of heroin that caused his death at the age of 27 in Paris. "I could intuitively feel trouble," she told Mojo magazine. "He went to see Jim Morrison and killed him. I mean I'm sure it was an accident... The smack was too strong? Yeah. And he died." Really disgusting the way Jim Morrison encouraged babies to start fires. Oh, another basketball movie came to mind... White Man Can't Jump. Oh, and Hoosiers. Space Jam! That's a good one. And one of my favorites... Semi-Pro. I'm gonna get email now with people mentioning their favorite basketball movies, or email saying "how can you forget so and so?" Moving on...  New York artist Sam Van Aken has spent the last nine years of his life creating a tree that bears 40 different types of stone fruit, including peaches, plums, apricots, and nectarines. "The trees were a way to collapse an entire orchard onto a tree," the artist explained. In related news, there's apparently at least 40 different kinds of stone fruit.  You know, in every high school there's always one teacher who wants the students to think they're cool, by listening to new music, using new slang, or, like in the case of Lorie Ann Hill, showing up to the first day on the job shit-faced and removing her pants. School officials in Wagoner, Oklahoma called police around 9 a.m. Monday after they found a disoriented Hill in an empty classroom and violating the dress code in a pretty major way. She was arrested for public intoxication after a brief interview with the police, which we're guessing lasted slightly longer than her job interview. The only good news for Hill is that classes don't start until Thursday, which means there weren't any students around. While she still has to live with that busted mugshot, at least articles about the incident won't contain a link to a YouTube video of her staggering around pantsless to the sounds of Nelly's "Hot in Herre". When I read this story I was picturing the pantless teacher to be hot. I was wrong.

So, yesterday I went to the store and even though I don't drink Coke I was looking for a Coke bottle with my name on it. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it. When I walked away the store looked like this...

Haha. That's stupid. I did not do this, it was just a joke. That whole Share a Coke ad campaign is pretty odd though. Did you see this?

Those crazy Coca-Cola people.  Yesterday I showed a picture of Vandadore or whatever that villain is in the Harry Potter movies, taking a selfie. It seems people in movies were taking selfies way before that. Check this screenshot out from The Mask.

That was a shitty movie.  So, here in he Orlando area a popular store opened called Trader Joe's. I have never been there yet but when I saw this ad for it, I don't think I wanna.

I love Whole Foods. Or even half a food.  So, it's Summer and you know what I love about Summer? Bikinis. Haha. That's so male. That sounds like I wear bikinis. Anyway, thee bikini is a great invention, that's why I decided to show you different bikinis through Summer.

French clothing designer John Nouanesing knows few things are hotter than a sexy geek and keeping the geeky ladies in mind, he's designed the Geekini, a two-piece bikini with appropriately placed buttons, resembling an old school Nintendo controller. You can find the start and select buttons on the bikini's bottom. That clever designer. Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson,New York, here is another...

Top Phive Things Overheard At Olivia Wilde's Breastfeeding Photoshoot
5. Man, that baby is living my dream... being naked in a diner!
4. I love this diner! Topless customers and bottomless coffee!
3. Breastfeeding in a $1000 dress and Prada heels... any mother can relate to that!
2. I hear Zagat gives this place a "Yowza!!"
And the number one thing overheard at Olivia Wilde's breastfeeding photoshoot was...
1. I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's a $10 corkage fee.

If you spot the Mindphuck email me at

Alright, the 32nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jeremy will be a guest on the Phile next Thursday.

Today's guest is a Phile Alum and lead singer for the New York band Wise Girl whose latest EP "Sing Me to Sleep" is available on iTunes. Please welcome back to the Phile... Abby Weitz.

Me: Hello, Abby, welcome back to the Phile! How have you been?

Abby: I have been well, thanks!

Me: I am not afraid to say it but you are one of the hottest lead singers I ever interviewed... and now you are dating a member from the band, am I right?

Abby: Haha, yes it's true, the jig is up! You're such a detective!

Me: Not really. Haha. Were you and Paul dating when I interviewed you last October or is this new?

Abby: We were not yet dating when you interviewed me last October, Paul joined the band in early December.

Me: Ahhh. I thought you had an extra member. What do the other two guys in Wise Girl think of this, Abby? Are they jealous?

Abby: Hahaha. This is cracking me up. Everyone is totally cool with it, no jealousy in the band. If anything my bandmates are super protective of me and everyone knows that Paul's a nice guy so no one has had to step up and play big brother, but I already have one of those anyways.

Me: I would be if I was single and in your band. Paul is a very lucky guy. Anyway, tell the readers who is in the band.

Abby: Wise Girl is: Abby Weitz (yours truly): singer/songwriter/guitar, Harrison Keithline: drums, Paul Taite; bass, Tim Basom: guitar/ backup vocals.

Me: Paul is from New Zealand, am I right? Has he taken you there yet?

Abby: Paul is from New Zealand, he has not taken me there yet but I've taken him to my parent's house in Long Beach and he says that it reminds him a lot of Auckland, where he's from.

Me: Where are you from originally?

Abby: I'm from Long Beach, New York (STRONG ISLAND).

Me: The band is based in New York, am I right? Do you like living and working there?

Abby: Yes, we are based here in New York. I like it, I think I'm getting a little sick of living in Manhattan, I miss having space. I live in a studio apartment with two cats and I really just wish we had space to run and play. But at the same time, every time I leave for more than a week, I'm dying to come back to Manhattan so I can't win!

Me: I am from England but grew up in Port Jefferson, Long Island... ever been there?

Abby: Oh! You're an English lad are you? Yes, I have been to Port Jeff one or two times being a fellow Long Islander.

Me: Last time you were here we talked about Phile Alum Kim Shattuck and The Muffs. I am dying to get Kim back on the Phile as they have a new album out. Have you heard the album?

Abby: I just streamed their new album on Pitchfork, it's so awesome! They're coming back in the fall and I can't wait! I always get depressed after they leave though cause they put on the best shows and the energy is amazing and they're my favorite band and then I don't get to see them for years.

Me: If they asked you go open for them on a tour would you guys go? That's a stupid question, isn't it?

Abby: Very stupid question, I would in a heart beat!

Me: Wise Girl performs a lot of concerts in the New York area, what was your biggest and favorite show you guys have performed?

Abby: We just played a really amazing out door show for Make Music New York festival and Guitar World Magazine and that was definitely my favorite show. It was a free show in Union Square and anyone could come out! There were hundreds of people there who didn't even know who we were just enjoying the music, it was so amazing and so much fun!

Me: Okay, let's talk about your new EP "Sing Me to Sleep". How did that song get to be the title track?

Abby: I really liked the title and thought that it suited the collection of songs.

Me: "Don't Go" is the single, right?

Abby: Yes sir, it's the current single

Me: The EP is all acoustic... It's pretty much just you on the single, right?

Abby: Yes, the band didn't actually play on any of the EP. I did all of the guitars, glockenspiel, ukelele and one of the guys that produced it did the bass and drums for one of the tracks and percussion.

Me: How did you guys decide that the follow up to the great album "You'll Just Have to Wait" with an acoustic EP?

Abby: I was originally recording these songs to pitch for TV/ film licensing and then after showing some of the demos to my team, we came to the conclusion that they were such good songs and should be released next.

Me: I have to ask you about the cover, what is the deal with the eggs?

Abby: I don't know if anyone really "get's it", one of my friends recently was telling me that she understood the meaning and I was shocked. It's basically a picture the phrase "putting all of your eggs in one basket" which is how I feel about this career that I've chosen to pursue, I feel it more and more everyday.

Me: I thought it was an Easter thing, but you're Jewish, right? So, I guess I was wrong there. Haha. 

Abby: Haha... well it did happen to be on Easter, Paul and I were making Easter eggs and I made the Wise Girl one and, ta da!

Me: I have to ask you about that blue guitar you play. I have  a picture of you playing it here.

Me: What make it year is it? I like it a lot.

Abby: It's a Telecaster, no idea what year it is but I bought it used about 10 years ago, I rarely play it these days. I'm really into my hot pink glitter Daisy Rock!

Me: How many guitars do you have, Abby?

Abby: Six.

Me: How old were you when you started to play guitar and do you remember what the first song you learned was?

Abby: I was 13, the first song that I learned to play was definitely one of the old Beatles tunes.

Me: I love all your songs, and your voice... you have been described as a female Rivers Cuomo. Who is that?

Abby: Rivers Cuomo is the songwriter and lead singer for Weezer (love them).

Me: Of course! I knew that! Last time you were here I asked you about the tattoos on your shoulders, and you said it was poison ivy, but you wouldn't say what was the meaning. Will you tell me now? ; )

Abby: Nope! ;)

Me: Do you have any other tattoos?

Abby: Nope!

Me: Okay, so, what's next for Wise Girl? Are you guys working on any new material?

Abby: Got some big things coming up for the band, I am always writing stuff and yes, there will be new material not too far in the future.

Me: When the new album comes out will you come back on the Phile?

Abby: DUH!

Me: And if you ever want to send me a Wise Girl t-shirt... XXL... Haha.

Abby: I know I was supposed to send you one, but I don't have much merch left, BUT I guarantee by the time new material is released and we do another interview I will have an AWESOME tee for ya! 

Me: Yeah! Okay, so, I don't know if you remember but on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Ready? Oh, this is good. Which other culture would you choose to be born into?

Abby: Greek, the food is BOSS And I always get mistaken for Greek anyways.

Me: Abby, thanks again for coming back. Go ahead and mention your website and everything, take care, and please come back soon.

Abby: Thanks for having me! Check us out at and :)

There you go, another entry of the Phile done. Thanks to Abby for a great interview. The Phile will be back next Thursday with author Jeremy Croston and on Friday it's Phile Alum singer Britney Christian. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker.

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