Sunday, December 15, 2013

Pheaturing Derek Murray From Gifted Kings

Baby, it's cold outside. I've got to go away. Baby, it's cold outside. Yeah, it really is cold outside today here in Central Florida. But... at least it's not snowing. Welcome to the Phile, kids. How are you?  Let's start off with some really good and uplifting news, shall we? Davion Only, the 15 year old Florida orphan who stood before a congregation in St. Petersburg a few months ago and pleaded for someone to adopt him will be spending the holidays with a prospective family for the first time this year. There is no word on whether the family with whom he is now living has HBO or Netflix, or even how fast their wifi service is, so well-wishers should be careful before getting their hopes up too high for a happy ending.  The city of Milan has ruined Christmas by ordering the owners of an Italian sex toy website to cease decorating their outdoor Tree of Pleasure with the company's sexually-suggestive wares. Instead they were forced to use normal items such as shiny balls and long hard rods intended for sucking. I wanna see a picture of this Tree of Pleasure.

This is it? Shit, this was after they removed the sex toys. Oh, well. Moving on...  The Tea Party Patriots organization claims that House Speaker John Boehner has "declared war on the Tea Party" by suggesting that they are more interested in raising money for themselves than in trying to get problems solved for the country. Never before has the Tea Party been so affronted since the last time anybody said absolutely anything about them. You know, I really think these Tea Party People were all raised by Carrie's mom.  It is once again legal for Utah Mormons to religiously cohabitate with multiple romantic partners, after a U.S. District Court Judge struck down a ban against the practice that has been in place for 40 years. Though the ruling falls short of legalizing actual polygamy, it does force the state to mind its own fucking business about things that don't concern it at all.  Twitter made a big change to its policy for blocking people the other night and then very very very quickly said "Nevermind!" and changed everything back to the way it was, thus denying many people some really sweet complaining material.  According to a new study from Incapsula, 61.5% of all web traffic now comes from automated bots released upon the digital landscape by search engines, hackers, and spammers. We can only assume that about half of the remaining 38.5% is made up of bearded guys in fedoras looking for nip pics of Emma Watson. Though it could be higher.  So, last Friday the new Hobbit movie came out, did you see it? I'm gonna go see it next weekend. Anyway, I didn't know in this film there's someone else playing Gandalf. Check it out...

Haha. I bet he goes on a trip, if you know what I mean.  I love this time of year, when people decorate their houses and stuff with Christmas lights. But some Floridians shouldn't.

Oh my.  Do you remember that "The Snowman" animated short that came out in the late 80s I think it was? It was children's picture book without words by English author Raymond Briggs. Here's a picture if you don't remember...

Anyway, I was looking at the book the other day and there's scene which I didn't notice before...

Are they drinking at a bar? I don't remember this part.  Okay, this month I have been showing you some creative Christmas ads. Wanna see another one?

Christmas is ten days away and you might be struggling to figure out what to buy for your loved ones. Well, I'm here to help. So, here once again is...

Disguise Your Beer! Hide your Beer  is a unique way to cover your beer can. It's a reusable cover that wraps around your can to look like a normal soft drink. When the can is empty, take off your stick on beer hider and put it on a full one. Perfect for the golf course, beach, pool, sporting events, boating, you name it!! Just peel off and slap on any cold can! Safety, Security, Convenience! Available in designs such as- Diet Cola, Dr. Pepper, 7-UP and others. Reusable over and over. You can buy it here:

And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things If The Story Of Christmas Took Place On Facebook
5. Mary joined the group Choosing to Wait: We Are Virgins and We Are Proud!
4. Mary updated her relationship status.
3. Mary is engaged to Joseph.
2. The Holy Spirit checked in to Mary's Uterus.
And the number one thing written on Mary's Facebook wall...
1. An Angel added Got Knocked Up as a Life Event on Mary's timeline.

If you spot the Mindphuck as always email me at Alright, it's Sunday and you know what I like to do on Sunday's? Talk about football with my good friend Jeff. So, once again it's...

Me: Jeff, Lori, welcome back to the Phile. How are you two?

Jeff: Always glad to be back on the Phile with you and Lori.

Me: Lori, I have to congratulate you again for kicking Jeff's and my arses... as we say in England. You must be feeling good, right?

Lori: Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I honestly don't even know how well I'm doing unless Jeff posts the numbers. I've played it pretty safe with my picks, so maybe next year I'll go a little crazier and you guys will actually have a shot.

Me: Thanks. Haha. Okay, so, what's the football news this week? Anything major?

Jeff: The biggest news is that the Redskins have benched QB Robert Griffin III for the rest of the season so he can be healthy for next season. Some see this as Washington coach Mike Shanahan's parting shot as he is expected to be fired at the end of the season. His son is the offensive coordinator for the team and apparently was not made known of this. So it gets even more awkward in Washington.

Me: I bet. Okay, Jeff, how did we all do this week?

Jeff: This week I went 2-0 with a Steelers lose. Lori went 1-1 with an Eagles win and you went 0-2 with a Giants loss.

Me: Damn Giants. Okay, let's do this weeks picks. I say Lions by 8 and Bengals will beat your Steelers by 14, Jeff. For some reason I'm picking two cats to win this week.

Jeff: I will go with San Francisco by four points and Carolina by 7 points.

Me: Lori, what do you pick?

Lori: I'll pick the Colts and the Chiefs, each by 3.

Me: Alright, Jeff, there's only two more weeks to the playoffs. Any predictions, Jeff... actually, Lori might have a better clue. Haha.

Jeff: The playoffs are almost all set in both divisions. I could give you the break down of what each team needs to have happen to make the playoffs but it would take forever to do that, but know there are four teams within a game and a half of the playoffs in the NFC and the AFC is a mess with teams that are currently under .500 still mathematically still alive for the playoffs. There are very few teams officially eliminated from the playoffs in both leagues.

Me: Good job, Jeff, I'll see you back here next Sunday on the Phile's 700th entry.

Jeff: See you for the monumentally 700th Phile!

It's 11:06 am, 64°F and Kelly will be on an episode of "Nashville" set to air January 15th, 2014.

He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man, and phriend of the Phile. Yep, it's story time, kids.

Good morning, humans. Everything happens for a reason. This is what I have to keep telling myself, what I must myself believe. I've always tried to be a "take people at face value" kind of guy. Walking this place with a "live and let live" mindset. Fact is... humans are what they are... and if you sit still long enough and pay attention to details, people will more often than not reveal who they REALLY are deep down inside. I was talking to someone who was trying to settle me down today... someone who saw the pain I was in and reached out to help me sort through the muck. She said something that snapped me back into reality. "You can't argue with ignorance... let it go, don't let it get to you. When someone unleashes their negativity on you... just allow yourself to only hear blah-blah-blah." I thought long and hard on this, coming to the conclusion that she is absolutely correct. I can't expect everyone to feel the same way I do about things. I can't expect you humans to walk about without the mask as I do. Some of you are so used to hiding what you are deep down inside... that you can't even recognize your own reflection in the mirror. The mask hides your true self from yourself. You can wrap your belief system around you like a blanket to ward off the cold chill of reality... but that won't change what you are in your heart and soul. All the fancy clothes, flashy cars and salon quality hairdos won't change what those around you (who get it) see... I guess what I'm trying to say is this... Be real or be gone, I have no time to try to look through your mask. You can fool the rest of the world... you can even fool me... But you can't fool the mirror... and from now on, I'll be holding that mirror up in front of you every chance I get. I'll be sorting through my friend list on Facebook in the upcoming weeks and deleting those I don't know... those I rarely hear from... those who bring me grief... and those who just annoy the crap out of me with their petty, selfish bullshit. Time to get rid of what doesn't make sense to me anymore. Focus on being happy and keeping you silly bastards safe from yourselves. Rant is over... we now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

The 29th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Phile Alum and author Jim Korkis will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Derek's probably thinking about time. Haha. Today's pheatured guest is the lead singer and guitarist for the very cool Scottish rock band Gifted Kings whose new single "Dead End Road" is available as a free download on their website. Please welcome to the Phile... Derek Murray.

Me: Hello, Derek, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Derek: Hi, I'm great thanks.

Me: Okay, so, you guys are from Glasgow, Scotland. I don't know much about Glasgow as I have never been there. What's life like living there?

Derek: It's pretty rainy and cold here but also a good laugh.

Me: It's rainy and cold here as well right now. What's the proper way to greet someone in Glasgow? 

Derek: Fancy a pint?

Me: How is the music scene there?

Derek: Not bad, we have some of the better small venues here for new talent, like King Tuts where a lot a big bands like Oasis played when they were starting out.

Me: I live near Orlando, Florida and I have to say, we don't have a big music scene here. That is I don't think we do.

Derek: That's not good news, we were hoping for a free holiday at your gaff. We're just back from L.A., amazing history of great bands coming from the west coast.

Me: I love the new single "Dead End Road", Derek. Does Glasgow have a lot of dead end roads? 

Derek: Cheers. Ha, there are a lot of one way roads.

Me: The video looks like it was fun to do. Did you guys just drive around the city filming stuff?

Derek: Yeah, we had a great time shooting doing the video, the producers had a plan and we managed to get around a good few areas in Glasgow in one day.

Me: I have to ask, who is that hot blonde in the video? I have a screen shot of here here...

Me: That is I think she's blonde, the video is in black and white.

Derek: We were lucky to have a very talented actress join us for the day who was into our music.

Me: Alright, so, who is in the band?

Derek: Me (vox), Andy (guitar), Gary (drums) & Paul (bass).

Me: Two of you are brothers, right? I interviewed so many musicians in the past who work with various family members. Which one of you is older, and which one of you started to be a musician first?

Derek: Paul is the old man of the band, also the first to start playing.

Me: Did you two always wanna be in a band together?

Derek: Yeah, we always thought that we would do something together.

Me: Who came up with the band name Gifted Kings, and where did the name come from?

Derek: Me and Andy heard it on a Dylan track.

Me: So, how did you get the other two guys in the band?

Derek: We're all cousins so it was pretty easy!

Me: Oh, a family affair. Do you all share song writing credits?

Derek: Me and Andy wrote the songs, then we all jammed on them to get the sound right.

Me: How long have you all been playing together?

Derek: A few years.

Me: You have a new album coming out called "Lose What Makes You". What can you tell us about it?

Derek: The first song we wrote on the album was called "Tell Me Something" and that set the tone for the sound we wanted for the whole album and also the lyrics, so that really kick started it all.

Me: I think this is fucking cool, the album was recoded in the same studio as Oasis' "What's the Story Morning Glory" and Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". Man, that song was just a flop. Haha. Just kidding. Did you think it was cool recording in that same studio?

Derek: It was amazing, as a big fan of the bands that have recorded there and the albums and songs that were written in that same studio, I loved every minute of it.

Me: Where was that studio? It's not in Glasgow, right?

Derek: The studio was in Wales.

Me: Why did you travel all the way to Wales to record the album?

Derek: It's one of the last few remaining residential studios in the U.K., where bands can go an actually stay in the studio while they record, it's good because they lock the door and don’t let you out until you have put a great album down.

Me: Your music was featured in a lot of TV spots, and I read in commercials in the States here. What are some of the shows or adverts do you know used your music?

Derek: TV sport programmes here and also soundtracked for "Ripcurl" and some others.

Me: Have you played in the States yet?

Derek: Not yet!

Me: You were invited to play Moscow though, am I right? Are you going? I don't think I would go to Russia.

Derek: Yeah, it's even colder than here! Hopefully we'll play a few dates in Europe in 2014.

Me: Alright, so, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics. Ready? What remains undone that you've wanted to get done for years? What a stupid question.

Derek: Playing a big festival!

Me: well, I think that will change soon. Thanks so much for being here on the Phile. Please come back when the album comes out. Go ahead and plug your website and everything.

Derek: See for details! "Dead End Road" video link:

Me: Take care, and continued success.

Derek: Cheers!

Man, that was a long ass entry. Thanks to Jeff Trelewicz, Lori Sedlacek, Laird Jim and of course Derek Murray. The Phile will be back tomorrow with musician Chris Leigh. Then next Sunday it's the Phile's 700th entry with Phile ALum Brian Sumner from The Sumner Brothers. Then on Monday it's A Peverett Phile Christmas 5 Pheaturing Zach Davidson and Burt Turner Overdrive from the band Vendetta Red. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!

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