Pheaturing Burt "Bubba Whoopass" Wilson

Hello, everybody, welcome to another entry of the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Well, now that Herman Cain's back home after suspending his campaign, he has a huge to-do list for himself, such as cleaning out the garage and living in it. Cain blames a conspiracy by powerful Democrats who are intent on destroying him for these various allegations. I don’t think you can blame the democrats. I'm pretty sure they were rooting for him in this particular case. This sucks, the former governor of Illinois Rod Blagojevich got 14 Years in prison. He will probably get time off for good hair. To give you an idea how long that is, take Kim Kardashian's marriage and add 14 years. He was convicted of trying to sell Barack Obama's vacant senate seat. If he had waited a few years, he could probably sell it back to Barack Obama. Alec Baldwin was kicked off an American Airlines flight. The good news is, it freed up three seats for standby passengers. The Library of Congress has partnered with Twitter to store every tweet ever posted in their archive of historical documents. So, this is what Congress is doing? The Library of Congress is home to some of the most important documents in history including the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and now it will so include tweets from Gretchen44, who likes strawberry balsamic vinegar on her salad. Sources are reporting that Ryan Seacrest is being considered as a replacement for Matt Lauer. Earlier this month, he was informed there was a show on TV that he doesn't host and he became very angry. How many jobs can a person do? Forget Wall Street. These protesters should be occupying Ryan Seacrest.
Speaking of TV, The chairman of the company that owns the E! network says they are planning multiple spinoffs of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians." There are now more shows than there are Kardashians. Perry gave three reasons for declining the Iowa debate later this month. First, he needs to concentrate on campaigning. Second, there are already two other debates scheduled for that week. And he forgot the third one. So, Lindsay Lohan's "Playboy" issue comes out this month. No, I haven't picked it up yet. But, I was excited there's a Lindsay Lohan inspirational poster. Check it out.

Just wanted to look at her boobie... oh, boy. I'm in big trouble now. LOL. Let's move on, before Google shuts me down. I love this Christmas time of year, and one thing I really like is Christmas lights. I can't get enough of them, so here's some more to look at.

What a foggy picture. 

Okay, it's that time of year when people are writing out their Christmas wish lists, and I have my hand once again on someone's actual list. So here's a pheature I call...

Today's list that I got my hands on is Pac-Man's Christmas wish list. Yeah, that Pac-Man.  This is his list.

1. Little dot.

2. Little dot.

3. Little dot.

4. Big dot.

5. Diarrhea medicine.

That was even more stupid then the last one I did. Anyway, that was Pac-Man's wish list. Well, it's Sunday and every Sunday I invite my good friend Jeff to the Phile and we talk football. So, once again, it's time for...

Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome back. So, what's the big news in football this week?

Jeff: Thanks. Always good to be back on the Phile. The biggest news is still the injuries that are piling up mostly for QB's in the league. In the Thursday night game both the Steelers and Browns starting QB's got hurt, one with a ankle sprain and another with a concussion. Plus (and thankfully so) Brett Favre says he is staying retired!

Me: So, you were winning by five last week, Jeff. How did we do last week?

Jeff: As of last week I was up by five points. I was able to increase my lead. I went 1-0-1 this week with a Steelers loss while you went 1-1 with a Giants loss, bring the score to 33-26.

Me: Shit, you're still winning. Okay, let's do our picks now. I say the Jets will win by ten and I say Green Bay by 8. What do you say?

Jeff: My picks this week include New England by 10 over Washington and Baltimore Ravens over Colts by seven points.

Me: Good picks, Jeff. Before I let you go, let's talk about basketball for a minute. What do you think about Dwight Howard going to the Nets... In Brooklyn? I say he's smart. See ya, Dwight.

Jeff: I don't see the Magic trading Dwight Howard during the season, but after the season he is done with the team. Which is a shame.

Me: Thanks, Jeff, and I will see you here next Sunday.

Okay, the 7th artist to be pheatured in the Peverett Phile Art Gallery is Kim Simmonds, who not only paints but has been a guitarist for over forty years in Savoy Brown. Yep, I am talking about Kim Simmonds, and this is one of his paintings.

Kim will be a guest on the Phile in a special extra entry next Saturday. 

This is the 16th book to be pheatured in the P.P.B.C.

Jack Boulware will be a guest on the Phile next Sunday.

Today's guest has for years performed on the "The Monsters in the Morning", a talk radio show on WTKS-FM Real Radio in Orlando, Florida, USA, XM Radio Channel 152 and via the Iheartradio app for mobile devices. His new album "Everett" is now available on iTunes and he'll be next appearing at Connally's Irish Pub in Orlando on December 16th for his Whoopass Xmas Party. Please welcome to the Phile... Burt "Bubba Whoopass" Wilson.

Me: Bubba! How are you? Welcome to the Phile. I am a big fan and have been wanting to interview you here for years. 

Burt: I am good... taking care of myself better these days.

Me: I have to ask, I don't know if I should call you Burt or Bubba. What would you like to be called? 

Burt: It doesn't matter. Most of my friends call me Burt...fans call me Bubba. But it doesn't matter.

Me: While we are on the topic of names, you have a nickname which is Whoopass. Or is it Whoop Ass? When did you first start calling yourself Bubba Whoopass Wilson? 

Burt: Its Whoopass. I use to threaten callers  on the Monsters who got out of line. I would say, "Come down here to the station and I'll whoop your ass" I would basically pick a fight with them, calm them down and apologize, then pick another fight with them. All to make the guys laugh. So they started calling me "whoopass".

Me: Burt, where are you from? What made you move to Central Florida originally?

Burt: I am from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Jeff Howell was here and kept asking me to come to Orlando. I got divorced so I was finally free to come. I came with everything I owned in a Hertz Pensky truck and my fat girlfriend Rhonda.

Me: You went to high school with Randy Jackson from "American Idol", right? Do you think he would remember you?

Burt: Yes, he remembers me. He asked for my number from a fan and called. I called back and talked to his assistant but never heard back. I didn't want to call again and bother him. He may have had to stay away because our show was very controversial at the time.

Me: Speaking of Jackson, let's talk about another Jackson... Michael. You worked with him in the 80's, or at least met him, am I right? What was that like?

Burt: He came to see a Showbiz Pizza special show we put together as writers for them. He wanted to buy a set of characters for Neverland I guess. He came midday and his people had to search the building first. He showed up in sunglasses and ankle high white socks and high water pants. He seemed out of it. Spoke very softly. He seemed to like the character I did, Fatz the Gorilla, and wanted me to sit next to him and hold my hand and tap my leg and say, "Fatz, you my favorite." Creepy.

Me: How long did you work for Showbiz Pizza and did you write the songs. You also wrote a song for the New Orleans Worlds Fair, right?

Burt: I wrote the shows and recorded the music for 10 years. During that tine I also wrote the theme song for the 1984 Words Fair in New Orleans.

Me: You wrote the theme song for the 1984 New Orleans World Fair? I remember that World's Fair. I didn't go, but my dad played in New Orleans at that time and bought back some stuff from the fair. Anyway, how did you get that gig?

Burt: The guy who did it was a big Clutch fan.

Me: Do you remember the name of the song you wrote for it, Burt? 

Burt: "Mardi Gras City".

Me: By the way, what ever happened to Showbiz Pizza? 

Burt: Chuck E. Cheese took over I think. 

Me: Is your character at Chuck E's?

Burt: It is not. They turned my characters mechanism into Munch, a purple monster. They wanted me to provide voice but they wanted the same Fatz voice. I wouldn't do that.

Me: By the way, I found a picture of Fatz. Take a look.

Anyway, I interviewed Jeff Howell here a while ago, and he plugged band you guys are in called The Poker Dogs. Is that band still together, Bubba?

Burt: Yes, we are trying to break into the convention work around here. It's hard. Clubs can't pay big bands anymore.

Me: Any plans for a new Poker Dogs album? 

Burt: Maybe next year.

Me: You have known Jeff for a long time, right? Do you remember when you two first met? 

Burt: Yes, we went to the same church, so I knew him. He was 4 years younger than me. Then later when I had started Clutch we played his senior prom and he was a huge fan after that.
He came out to see us a few times and I was blown away with his sense of humor. So a year later when Clutch was in Orlando and lost our bass player I thought of him. He was a home boy and he played good guitar so I figured I could teach him bass.

Me: Burt, how old were you when you first started to playing piano?

Burt: My mom and dad got me a Magnus organ when I was 8, and a guitar. 2 years later, I got Everett. 

Me: Was that the first instrument you learnt to play, or was it guitar?

Burt: It was actually guitar but my brother Todd and I got in a fight on the upper bunk bed and we fell off smashing the guitar.

Me: Over the years you have written funny parody songs and some serious songs, Burt. What do you prefer to write? 

Burt: I seem to have an easier time with comedy lyrically, but I love beautiful chord changes but the more serious words don't come easy.and the two just don't seem to go together. I suffer from the same problem Charlie Chaplin had. He was a clown who wrote beautiful music, he could do nothing with because people wouldn't except that. He did write "Smile".

Me: One of my favorite songs you have written was "Southern Girl", which you once entered in a John Lennon songwriting contest, am I right? I interviewed other song writers in the past who had their song entered in that competition. How did you do? Did you win?

Burt: I won in the pop category in 2003. Not over all but only.

Me: You're a huge Beatles fan like I am, am I right? Are the Beatles the reason you started to get into music originally? 

Burt: Yes absolutely. I use to play along with Beatles songs on a badminton racket.

Me: Well, I first heard of you, and met you when you were on the Monsters radio show. Actually, when we first met you were on the Russ and Bo radio show. Being on that show pretty much changed your life, right?

Burt: Yes. I got Jeff into Clutch so he paid me back by getting me on the Russ and Bo show.

Me: You still appear on the Monsters, but you are on another radio show as well, right? What is that, and do you play Bubba or Burt? 

Burt: I have done a couple. I was on the Greg Batten's Fishing show sponsored by Larry the Cable guy and also Shannon Burke was getting back on his feet and I joined him on his show about sobriety.

Me: By the way, Savannah who used to be on the Monsters was on the Phile awhile back and said some nice things about you, sir. I have a picture of you and the Monsters cast here.

Okay, let's talk about CD "Everett". I purchased that CD from a few years ago from iTunes and loved it. That's not your first release though, is it?

Burt: For Burt Wilson and serious songs it is.

Me: Who plays on the album with you, Bubba? 

Burt: Daniel Dennis on drums and Jerry Friend on guitar. I had some guys from Raglan Road play for me to like Shane Mcgowan.

Me: I have to ask you about the title song, which is about your piano called Everett, which you mentioned. How long have you had that piano? 

Burt: Since I was 9 or 10. It came from a church and the preacher drank and beat it up pretty bad.

Me: What made you write a song about it? And for those that don't know, it has a very meaningful story about your life, and is all true, right? Can you tell the readers what the story is? 

Burt: It's just about how music has come to save me many times when I needed help in life.

Me: There's a few songs on the album you did on the Monsters... "Drunk at Denny's", and "Florida Boy". How did you choose to properly record those songs for the album? 

Burt: Some songs just won't go away. I never spend alot of time on them and so I decided they needed a proper treatment.

Me: Burt, how must of wrote thousands of songs in your time. Do you pretty much write a song every day? 

Burt: A couple a week I guess. I write well under pressure.

Me: I HAVE to ask you about Bubbywhoop and Sissy cartoon, Burt. Is that top secret or can you talk about it? Is that project still on? 

Burt: No, the guy turned out to be a fraud. Happens alot in show biz.

Me: Bubba, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back on again soon, my friend, I have lots more to talk about with you. Is there a website you would like to plug? I am sure there is. 

Burt: Burtwilson.net and Burt Bubba Wilson on Facebook. 

Me: Thanks again, take care of yourself, and like I said, come back any time.

Burt: Thanks for having me. Sorry for my typing, I have 3 fingers.

Me: Anytime, you are great.

Burt: Thanks!

There you go, another entry. Thanks to Jeff Trelewicz and of course Burt Wilson. I hope I can get him on the Phile again next year. Okay, take notes, kids, there's a lot of entries coming up. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Shanna Delaney, lead singer for the band Bethesda. Then on Wednesday it's Luther Dickinson from North Mississippi Allstars. Then next Sunday it's author Jack Boulware and on Monday it's Three Bonzos and a Piano. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.