Pheaturing Shane Mauss

PHIRST OF

Welcome to the Rise of the Phile, I am your host, GI Jay. So, how are you? Thanks for stopping by. So, during the week we went to the Green Day concert. It was really good, but if I had a dime every time Billie Joe the lead singer said the F word, I'd be able to buy more then one t-shirt. While I was there someone must've recognized me and snapped a picture without me looking. Luckily I found it on the web. Take a look.

How rude, right? LOL. Congratulations to Bill Clinton for going to North Korea and freeing the two journalists. To be fair, it wasn’t that hard for Bill... he’s used to sneaking women out of government buildings. The journalists were from Al Gore’s TV network, Current TV, which surprised me, when I heard about it. I thought TV network? Al Gore? It must be the Food Network, clearly. I wonder how Al Gore feels about Bill Clinton rescuing his employees. That would be like NBC relying on Jay Leno to save their entire network. There was a rumor on the Internet this weekend that Sarah Palin was getting divorced. I knew it wasn’t true. When Sarah Palin takes an oath, she doesn’t just bail... oh, never mind. At his concert in Washington, D.C. , Paul McCartney dedicated the song “Michelle” to Michelle Obama. Then he dedicated “Tax Man” to President Obama, and “I Am The Walrus” to Kevin Federline. Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin took a submarine to the bottom of Lake Baikal the world’s deepest lake. He got to see some rare exotic fish and his past political opponents. So, recently I have been reporting some top companies are changing their logos and even their names because of the bad economy. Well, Nokia didn't do either but they did change their tag line. See?

It's funny, the Phile has been disconnecting people as well for the last three years. Hey, do you remember those Berenstain Bears books when you were a kid? My son Logan had a bunch when he was little and I went through them the other day and found one that I don't remember seeing or reading. I think they ran out of story ideas after all these years.

See what I mean? I don't think that's suitable, y'know. And take a look at the mother bear. She's laughing her ass off. On the Phile today we have a top ten list, history, Shane Mauss is coming up, but first...

From the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is this week's top ten list...

Top Ten Little-Known Items In President Obama's Healthcare Plan

10. If you donate a kidney, you get a free Prius Hybrid.
9. New cost-saving plastic surgery procedures involve spackle and Photoshop.
8. Two words: sneeze tax.
7. Does not cover Biden for foot-in-mouth disease.
6. Earn points toward a free check-up with every pack of Marlboros purchased.
5. Buy any GM vehicle and get a quadruple bypass for the price of a single.

4. Prostate exams will now be given as part of airport security.

3. Low cost mother-in-law exractions.

2. Will not cover Vice President-inflicted gunshot wounds.

And the number one little-known item in Obama's healthcare plan...

1. Free hair plugs for all!

1882
Ellison Hatfield is stabbed 26 times and shot in the back by Tolbert McCoy and two of his brothers. Two days later, the Hatfield clan captures the three McCoys and executes them by firing squad. Thus begins generations of bloodshed between the families, ultimately causing about 100 casualties.
1953
Eisenhower signs legislation retroactively granting Ohio official statehood for the previous 150 years. In 1803, apparently everyone just assumed that Ohio was a state, even though Congress had never passed legislation to that effect. The nation remained blissfully unaware of this fact until nosy historians began snooping around in preparation for Ohio's sesquicentennial.
1956
A convoy of seven army trucks loaded with dynamite explodes in front of the railway terminal in Cali, Colombia. The downtown district is instantly leveled, killing 1,200 people and injuring thousands more in the process.
1960
Film and television actor David Duchovny is born in New York City. Two of his most popular TV roles include Special Agent Fox Mulder from "The X-Files", and transvestite DEA agent Dennis Bryson in three episodes of "Twin Peaks" (second season, though).
1998
224 are killed and 2,200 injured when the U.S. Embassies in Kenya, Nairobi and Tanzania are simultaneously struck by powerful car bombs. Nairobi is hit particularly hard, with a multitude of charred corpses littering the streets. Three months later, the United States indicts Osama bin Laden and Muhammad Atef in absentia for the attacks.


Budd Schulberg: He coulda been a contender. Without, you know, that whole dying thing.
John Hughes: Alone, but not at home.

Okay, before this entries interview here is a new pheature. The Phile is a proud sponsor of some organizations and websites, and they sponsor the Phile as well. So, here they are.

TACAnow.org

generationrescue.org

Andasmalldog.com

lasersquadorlando.com

just1stamp.blogspot.com

Please check them all out. Okay, now for the interview.

Okay, today's guest is a very funny comedian who has been on Conan's old show three times, and will be performing tomorrow night and Sunday night at LA Comedy Club at Four Queens Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. Please welcome to the Phile... Shane Mauss.

Me: Hey, Shane, welcome to the Phile. So, how are you?

Shane: I’m good. I just did The Montreal Comedy Festival and had a blast.

Me: I originally saw you on Conan's show, Shane, with your first appearance I think it was. You were on with Don Cheadle I think. Anyway, Conan must of really liked you 'cause he invited you back a few times. Was it fun or were you nervous the first time you were on the show?

Shane: It all happened really fast. I guess I was a little nervous. Not really though. I was more nervous on my second one because we made some big changes the night before.
It’s always been a lot of fun getting to do Conan and other TV spots but nothing compares to live comedy.

Me: Did Conan's support open up a lot of doors for you?

Shane: After that I started headlining nationally and was able to start being a full time comedian. It was a pretty big deal for me.

Me: Now he is doing the "Tonight Show", do you think he'll invite you back on? If so, give me a shout out. LOL.

Shane: I should be on this summer. We’ve been working out what my set will be.

Me: I think Jimmy Fallon is doing a great job on "Late Night". What do you think? Would you do his show if he invited you?

Shane: Haven’t seen it. I’m always out doing shows at night. I haven’t looked into doing his show yet because I’ve focused on Conan and other things but I would love to do it sometime.

Me: You've been on a lot of TV shows, Shane, doing stand up. Would you ever want to get into acting?

Shane: Not especially. We’ll see.

Me: How long have you been doing stand up and what is the first show you ever did, and what was your first bit?

Shane: Last April was my five year mark. I started doing a weekly open mike in a ghetto in Dorchester, MA. It was crazy. My first bit I think was that “I masturbate so much that my bedsheets are like a starched mold of my naked erect body.” I still use it sometimes.

Me: I tried stand up in the mid-90's, but didn't pursue it. I do try to be funny on the Phile though. Do you have a blog?

Shane: Nope. I’m ridiculously paroniod about joke thieves. I’ve had some jokes stolen before so I don’t want to put much online that I could eventually use in stand up. I might do one eventually though.

Me: Where do you do most of your writing, Shane?

Shane: I have a pocket sized notepad that I carry around with me for when an idea pops up. Then I have a voice recorder for when I’m driving. I tend to have a lot of ideas while driving and in the shower. I have a regular sized notebook that I take around with me when I’m flying or in a park or sick of typing on my computer. Most of my work is on the computer though.

Me: Shane, you must do a lot of traveling. Where do you live though, and where are you originally from?

Shane: I live in Boston although I’m rarely there anymore. I was raised in La Crosse, WI

Me: Ever played here in Orlando, or planning on coming down to Orlando?

Shane: I do some stuff in FL. I will be in Sarasota at McCurdy’s Comedy Theater Aug 26 -30. Never been to Orlando but I’d like to. My agent does all my booking so it’s sort of out of my hands. I like FL a lot though. Especially in the winter of course.

Me: Any tour dates you wanna mention coming up?

Shane: People can see my schedule and watch some vids on shanemauss.com. I try to keep it updated but there is always a few things that I have to add to it so keep checking back. Facebook.com/shanecomedyfan is a really easy way to keep up because I always send updates to people with where I’m going to be.

Me: Congrats on winning best stand up comic in '07. Where was the competition? I bet that was a big thrill for you.

Shane: It was done by HBO in Aspen, CO. That was my big break where Conan’s bookers saw me, I got my agent and manager, and everything else. It was really amazing. It wasn’t a competition really. They just sat around at the end of the week and decided who to give awards to. There wasn’t any kind of scoring or anything that you might see in your typical comedy contest.

Me: So, what do your parents think about you earning a living doing stand up?

Shane: Their happy I’m earning a living. My mom hates all of my material and seems worried that it isn’t a real job (she’s right). But they’re both supportive anyway.

Me: A lot of comedians end up being really successful once they come out with a comedy album. Is that something you see yourself doing in a few years?

Shane: I’ll be doing an album with Comedy Central at some point within the next year. I will also be doing a Comedy Central Presents (1/2 hour special) this November. That will be out next year sometime.

Me: Who are your favorite comedian you grew up listening to?

Shane: I didn’t really have anyone that I really aspired to be like when I started comedy. I just wanted to be myself. I felt like I thought a little bit differently than others. Since I’ve started stand-up, I’ve really got into a lot of guys. I like Doug Stanhope, Steven Wright, Daniel Tosh, Jim Gaffigan, Maria Bamford, Brian Regan, Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifinakis, Dana Gould, Harland Williams, many, many more.

Me: Shane, I hope this interview was fun. Let me know when you come down to Florida, sir. I wish you a lot of luck, my friend.

Shane: Sorry I’m not funny in interviews. Only on stage.

PHINALLY

Thanks to Shane for taking time out to do the interview and to Wikipedia for the history notes. The Phile will be back on Monday where Alumni Month continues with musician Jeff Cameron. His last interview was crazy, and one of the most entertaining, so I can imagine the next interview will be similar. Then on Friday the Phile will be back with Brady Bodo from

Silhouette Song, and a special announcement. So, until then, spread the word, not the turd.