Friday, March 13, 2009

The Peverett Phile Interviews: Johnathon Schaech


Hello, welcome to the new improved and better stylistically confused Phile. I am your host Slumdog Slacker. It's a start of the newly revamped Phile and also Friday the 13th. And no, I am not wearing my hockey mask. So, sad news for fans of the Virgin Megastore... a lot of them are closing down, including the one here in Orlando. Word is they are being replaced by a new store: Burst Cherry. Thanks to everybody who commented about my Grandmother passing away. When Death showed up she asked "Who are you?" "I am Death." Death replied. Then my Grandmother shouted "WHO ARE YOU?!" Disney announced they are going to have two new cruise ships in the next few years. The Disney Dream and Disney Fantasy. My Disney fantasy is Snow White having sex with Cinderella. CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta turned down Obama’s surgeon general job because he would have to take a pay cut. Yeah, you have no idea how much money CNN pays him to keep Larry King alive. Michael Jackson is going to be doing 10 concerts in London this summer and is expected to bring in $400 million... 400 million? That’s enough to settle like 15 “personal” lawsuits. A special Beatles version of the video game Rock Band is coming out. I can’t wait for this. You can play as John, Paul, George, or Ringo. And it comes with a full warranty... in case Yoko shows up. Stocks were up 400 points today. I haven’t seen anything shoot up so fast since Amy Winehouse. The other day Logan and I were watching the cartoon "Static Shock" we couldn't believe it. I didn't know I was a cartoon villain. Take a look.

See what I mean? I am pissed off boy or something. How weird, right? 

An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.
Twenty-two persons killed in a poison rice episode, China. Five cooks are blamed.
At 3:15am, bar manager Catherine "Kitty" Genovese is raped and stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, NY. None of her 38 neighbors who witness the 32-minute ordeal even bothers to call the cops. Later in court, several testify hearing her scream: "Oh my God! He stabbed me! Please help me! I'm dying!"
Salim and Ruksana Patel find the arabic word for Allah spelled in the seeds of an aubergine (a Persian eggplant variant) which they intended for a casserole at their home in Bolton, England. Their local mullah declares it a miracle.
Hassan Abdullah's wife accidentally severs her husband's penis while she was "dreaming about strangling him". Luckily for Abdullah doctors in Malaysia were able to successfully reattach his endangered manhood, but not so lucky is the fact that he sleeps with a woman who keeps a knife in bed and dreams about strangling her husband.
One-eyed, mom-hating serial killer/drifter Henry Lee Lucas dies. Lucas was a serial murderer known for making bogus confessions which prompted police across the country to try and clear hundreds of unsolved cases by dumping them on Henry. He later recanted, saying that his goal was to make the police look stupid. Physical evidence only linked Henry to two of the murders.

From the home office in Groveland, Florida, here is this week's top ten list...
Top Ten Surprising Items In The Economic Bailout Plan 
10. Three billion dollars to "Wheel of Fortune" to make vowels more affordable.
9. Madoff-seeking missile.
8. $15 million to study the effects of pantsuits on international diplomacy.
7. 18% gratuity for Senators.
6. Lehman Brothers replaced by the Jonas Brothers.
5. The bailout plan has a bailout plan.
4. $10 billion to stimulate Joaquin Phoenix.
3. $200,000,000 to produce Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
2. Stimulus to be delivered by A-Rod's cousin.
And the number one surprising item in the economic bailout plan...
1. It's going to aid the Big Three: Ford, GM and Jessica Simpson.

Today's guest is an with actor, director and writer. His career in movies and television dates back to 1993. He has appeared in such movies as Prom Night, Hush, Welcome to Woop Woop, Splendor, That Thing You Do!, The Doom Generation and Forsaken. And he was married to Christina Applegate. Please welcome to the Phile, Johnathon Schaech.

Me: Hello, Mr. Schaech, welcome to the Phile? Where are you right now?

Johnathon: I’m in Los Angeles sitting in my new home that has all the dry wall torn out yesterday. I’m redoing all the air ducts and making it all new. New everything. Just like my life.

Me: I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this. Most actors shy away, but musicians love me. Only Jill Wagner, Melissa Joan Hart and Charlyne Yi agreed to be interviewed by me. You've done every talk show known to man, even the "Donny and Marie Show", right? So, I hope this interview doesn't let you down.

Johnathon: As my Australian friend would say, “ No worries, Mate.”

Me: Is it true you were asked to be in a Jay-Z video? Did you say yes right away? I would of been scared shitless. What did you do for it?

Johnathon: I was in Vegas and I got a phone call from an old friend from High School, Chris Robinson. It turned out that Chris had become the top music video director in the country. I just had to go see him. They flew me down to Mexico. Put me in a helicopter... it was dope.
It ’s so weird, Chris walked my sister down Prom Court and here he is on top of the world. I was so proud of him. I played the cop chasing Jay-Z.

Me: I have to ask you about being married to Christina Applegate. I am sorry you two divorced, but are you still friends? And do you watch her show "Samantha Who?"?

Johnathon: Christina Who? 

Me: Enough of that personal stuff, sir. Where are you from originally?

Johnathon: I’m from Edgewood. And so is Chris Robinson. So is my production partner Richard Chizmar.

Me: And when did you first go out to California?

Johnathon: I went to Cali when I was 18.

Me: Was it hard to get an agent?

Johnathon: I don’t remember. I had the greatest agent ever after I booked the Franco Zeffereli movie. Ilene Feldman. I remember she discovered Johnny Depp and Christian Slater. But after her, the agents just came and went. Except now of course. MY AGENTS ROCK!

Me: You're a frat boy, right? Where did you go to school, and tell me about Lambda Chi Alpha.

Johnathon: Great group of guys. I went to UMBC for three years... I still keep in touch. But I’m not a Frat Boy.

Me: I believe I saw you on "Punk'd". Were you the punker or punkie and was it

Johnathon: I was on for a second. I guess Ashton gave me my fifteen minutes of fame. 

Me: Mr. Schaech, you direct, write an act... what do you like best and what are
you currently doing now?

Johnathon: I got the Poker Club coming out in April. It's distributed by Sony and it's my first project in which I wrote, produced and starred in. Tim McCann directed it and we are excited for everyone to see. Tim has won Toronto Film Fest and Austin Film Fest so it's not your typical DVD release. I'm simply a filmmaker. And I don't idolize Clint Eastwood. I want to be like Clint.

Me: One of my favorite movies of all time is That Thing You Do! Tell the readers
who you played in it. How was Tom Hanks to work for and would you ever do a TTYD
sequel if they asked?

Johnathon: That Thing You Do 2. I’m in! This time I want to be nice to the girl. They smell so good.

Me: A few years ago Vanity Fair nominated you for something. Do you remember
what that was?

Johnathon: I was on the cover with Will Smith and Leo. Nominated for next the new generation of Hollywood’s new leading men. Guess who got the short end of the stick? Me, the beautiful loser!

Me: Tell me about Chesapeake Films. When did you start it and what made you start
your own film company?

Johnathon: Richard Chizmar and I grew up together. He is a writer and publisher. We decided to team up and make movies. Poker Club is our first feature. Our next one will be Stephen King’s From a Buick 8. It’ll go in April and right now Tobe Hooper is directing.

Me: Are you taking submissions for films?

Johnathon: Sure, we just don’t have the man power to do anything about them.

Me: You are working on a movie that comes out next year called Bone Deep, right? What can you tell the Phile readers about it? It sounds like it could be a porno as far as the title goes.

Johnathon: It’s a action movie with Chris Brown, Ti, Matt Dillon, Paul Walker. It's dope and I have a small part.

Me: You've been part of a lot of horror movies, sir. Is that your favorite genre?

Johnathon: My partner is Richard Chizmar. His publishing company is Cemetery Dance. They're the leading independent publisher of horror and sci-fi in the country. That's why. This producer friend of mine Beau Flynn recently said to me people don't realize how many people have come out of the horror genre and become incredible story tellers. And I have to agree. Just take King for example most people think he's a horror guy, but he wrote Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, Stand By Me... it's endless. I've never been in films that were number one in the box office til Prom Night and Quarantine... and in this business it's good to be number one.

Me: Okay, I hear you are studying krav maga. What the hell is that?

Johnathon: Krav Maga is basically an Israeli martial art. You just don’t just strike. You kill.

Me: I also heard you are a big supporter of Obama. What made you go for him and
not McCain? I'm British, so couldn't vote at all.

Johnathon: Obama is a leader and has integrity. We’ve lacked a leader for so long here in the States. I’m excited to see the changes that Obama will bring. He’s brought hope not only for this country, but many people personally. I being one.

Me: Last November I stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel with my wife and son for five nights and I am now spoilt. Have you ever stayed there?

Johnathon: Never, but have had many successful dates there.

Me: If I come back to California this year can we hang out? Just kidding. You seem to go to all the cool parties.

Johnathon: Let’s go to Le Deux with my buddies, Clifton Sammy!

Me: So, can you tell your friends what a great time you had at the Phile and see if anybody you know would like to be interviewed?

Johnathon: You got it!

Me: Finally, sir, is there anything you would like to plug? I wish you all the best, thanks for doing this, and I hope you would let me interview you again one day.

Johnathon: The Poker Club. This gets released in April by Sony. We’ve gotten great reviews from Variety and such. It stars Johnny Messner, Loren Dean, Judy Reyes, Lori Heuring, and myself. It’s a thriller about four life long friends who play a weekly poker game together.
One night a burglar breaks into Aaron Tyler’s house while they’re playing. And things go really wrong from there. Mistakes are made, bad judgement and ultimately the truth is unraveled. It’s a story of how one lie can spiral into a world of betrayal.

Thanks, Johnathon, I will make sure to check out... what was the name of the movie? Oh, yeah, Poker Club. Well, that's it for the newly revamped Phile for today. The Phile will be back tomorrow with French singer Willy Zeen from the band Ultrazeen. Thanks to Wikipedia and Johnathon. Spread the word, not the turd.

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