Ay, swabbies. Welcome to another Peverett Phile. Tomorrow Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest comes out. I was thinking, if they really wanted me to see it they should of called it Pirates of the Caribbean: Keira Knightley's Chest. And who said Disney wasn't into piracy? You can't walk anywhere at Disney World without seeing skull and crossbones. Well, big news from the Hubble telescope. Last Friday astronomers say it has pictures of a star self destructing. But enough about Star Jones. More problems today for the "View”. Did you see what happened? To which most guys said, "Finally, now I can watch the show.” So, President Bush took Japanese’s Prime Minister Koizumi to Graceland. The prime minister is a huge Elvis fan. There was one embarrassing moment when President Bush made the Japanese prime minister promise that when he visits Japan, he will take him to the Godzilla museum. To his credit President Bush knew all the protocol when meeting a Japanese prime minister. He’s had a lot of practice bowing to oil company executives. The senate has held hearings on President Bush’s use of "signing statements”. Do you know what that is? It’s a proclamation which lets the president sign a bill and limit what parts apply to him. The Democrats are acting like this is something new. It’s not. It’s the same thing Bill Clinton used when he signed his marriage license. A prominent polish politician in Poland, escaped a drunk driving arrest after he told the police he was only using vodka as a mouthwash. And today, Patrick Kennedy said, "That’s what happened to me." According to the "New York Post”, Michael Jackson announced that he may be moving to Paris. Well you thought the French hated us before. They’ll probably think he is one of those mimes.
WHEN YOU'RE A CELEBRITY, ADIOS REALITY
Give your loved ones a kiss and a hug, fill your pets’ bowls with water and food, and say goodbye to your summer: Big Brother 7 debuted tonight at 8 p.m. ET on CBS, and many people won’t see the light of day until it ends in about three months. Thanks to the super-obsessive freaks who are already monitoring the offline video feeds from inside the house, we already know the identities of the 14 all-star houseguests, six of whom were selected by viewers. On tonight’s pre-taped show, Julie Chen will send them into the house, and the other six will go home with only their delusions of fame. The series will air every Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday at 8, a slightly different schedule this year. And, of course, there are the live feeds, available with a RealNetworks subscription, which this year comes with “blogs, chats, message boards, polls and other interactive features,” according to a press release, ensuring that you’ll never leave your computer. The best and worst thing about Big Brother is that, sometime during the next three months, some crazy shit is going to go down, and missing one minute means missing everything. And try as you might, no non-watcher will understand you when you babble excitedly about the incident where someone got plastered with NyQuil, molested an electric toothbrush and used a knife with their flirtations, all while a crazy diminutive cult leader crazy gets thrown out of the house and then burned by America. It’s time for the insanity to begin.
TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK
I used to love to play Scrabble with my grandparents. And I was thinking, I had some really, really bad Scrabble hands in the past. Here are a few you don't want to end up with: Y Y M Q I I A, U U I A I U I, Q U U M W R Z, L E E E A A R. If I think of more I will post them in the next blog.
I COME FROM A NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS