Okay, swabbies, we went to the movies at West Oaks Mall (the ghetto mall) and ended up leaving after twenty minutes. These damn teenage kids wouldn't stop talking, and taking pictures. Plus there was no air in the theater and the sound was way to low. AMC gave us tickets to come back so today we went to see it at Celebration's theater. Anyway, here's the low down on the Pirates movie.
MOVIE BUZZ
Starring: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy, Geoffrey Rush, Jonathan Pryce, Tom Hollander, Jack Davenport, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun-Fat
Briefly (while there's nothing brief about anything in this movie, I'll give it a go all the same), Lord Cutler Beckett has control of Davy Jones' heart, which sounds sort of gay when you're just reading about it, but it's not — the heart's in a box. And because he's got the heart, that means he's going to rule the seas. But see, all the pirates and their friends call on all the other pirates around the world to battle it out against the dark forces of uncool un-pirate-ness. And they do this by sailing off the literal edge of the world's map. I think. What's the deal? I just said, "I think," because it's very long, with a hundred characters and lots of plot, and most of the pirates, while speaking, actually sound exactly like "Arrrrrrrhh!!" so you're sort of just waiting for action to speak more clearly than words — truth be told. It does, eventually, and it does so in a way that's been designed to deliver maximum sensory blast. It's loud, the effects are cool, there are multiple Jack Sparrows and great Fish People, as well as a fantastic finale battle that'll simultaneously confuse and thrill you. As far as meaningless summer entertainments go, it does exactly what you want it to. The best part was Keith Richards' cameo, obviously. The movie doesn't truly start until Richards pops in for a visit as Depp's dad. Here's how it goes, more or less: Depp: [something in English; I forget what specifically, but discernable as normal speech] Richards: [garble, slur, mush, suppressed belch] It's the best, most inscrutable performance of 2007. And all he did was stand there. And when I use the word "stand," what I really mean is that I read somewhere that they had to help prop him up so they could get that to happen. It's like watching a human being and a special effect at the same time. Biggest Surprise/Least Big Surprise: To start with the latter, Bloom really needs to step up his game if he's ever going to be as memorable in any other film role as he was as an elf in the Lord of the Rings series. It's like he's taking blandness lessons from Tom Cruise. Meanwhile, Knightley comes off as downright tough and Pirate Queen-ish throughout, but that perception could just be the residual effects of my mainlining Pride and Prejudice over and over. I realize I just impugned my own masculinity with that last sentence (and so what?). And a funny pirate monkey. Monkeys will never let you down.
SHARPENING AXES
A is for antediluvian rock star.
We finally get to see Keith Richards — Johnny Depp's inspiration for his over-the-top performance as Jack Sparrow — in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. But don't think the onscreen turn as Papa Grant Sparrow (complete with a sea-turtle-shaped guitar) intimidated the legendary rocker. The 62-year-old Richards, says co-star Bill Nighy, got so blotto waiting in his trailer on the set that director Gore Verbinksi had to prop him up to film his scenes. Richards' retort: "If you wanted straight, then you got the wrong man."
B is for the black spot.
Bootstrap Bill Turner, father of Will (Orlando Bloom), marks Captain Jack with the large black boil-like protuberance that allows the markee to be tracked by the vile Kraken (see K). In fact, the black spot shows up often as a sign of shame or guilt in pirate-related pop culture, including Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, the online role-playing game Yohoho! Puzzle Pirates and, yes, even Muppet Treasure Island.
C is for the curse of The Curse of the Black Pearl.
During filming of the first Pirates flick in 2002, a fire sparked on the set and ultimately caused more than $350,000 worth of damage. Fortunately, no one was hurt. Then later, on location in St. Vincent, a large chunk of the crew came down with dysentery, leaving everyone wondering if The Curse wasn't, well, cursed.
D is for the Disneyland theme-park ride.
The last major ride to have input from Walt himself, the attraction debuted in Anaheim in 1957. After the success of The Curse of the Black Pearl, it was updated to include Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbossa. The most recent ride-based movie to make it to the big screen was 2003's disappointing Haunted Mansion, with Eddie Murphy in the lead.
E is for the East India Trading Company.
Yes, it was a real establishment, started in 1600 and officially sanctioned by the British government to control that country's trading in, well, India. In the Pirates flicks, it's run by the power-hungry Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) — it's been hinted, as Jack was marked as a pirate by Beckett, that Jack also left some sort of mark on his rival and that mark will be revealed in At World's End.
F is for a fourth Pirates movie.
Says Depp, who's indicated he'd return if a good script materialized, "You don't want it to be Rocky 12, certainly. But you never say never." Screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, meanwhile, have said, since finishing Pirates 3, they've thought about writing a fourth, but, as Rossio put it, "I can't say if we'll be able to solve the challenge of making a good fourth film or if our screenplay will be enough to get a film made."
G is for gold teeth.
Depp was so committed that instead of wearing a set of removable gold teeth, he actually had his dentist implant a set for him. Although he eventually removed a few of the choppers, the initial look led to many a panicked phone call from Disney suits. The actor recalls that he finally just said, 'Look, you hired me to do the gig. If you didn't see the stuff I've done before, that's irresponsible on your part … If you don't like it, you can fire me.' … There was one executive in particular who really went out of their way to investigate what the fuck I was up to, and after the release of Pirates, I got a letter from (him) saying, 'Look, I apologize. I was wrong. You were right … I appreciate the fact that you didn't listen to me.'"
H is for Hector Barbossa.
Talk about Method Acting. Jack Sparrow's nemesis, played by Geoffrey Rush, was thought to be dead at the end of Black Pearl. Then, in Dead Man's Chest, when Will, Elizabeth and company ask for Tia Dalma's help in saving Jack from the World's End, she tells them they'll need a skilled captain to navigate their way. Well, the actors had expected, from the script, that Pearl pirate Anamaria was going to show up — so when Rush walked through the door, their faces are showing genuine surprise.
I is for Isla de Muerta and Isla Cruces.
In The Curse of the Black Pearl, the destination is Isla de Muerta, which is where Sparrow's ship has been hidden from him. It's also the scene of the final showdown between Sparrow and Barbossa. In Dead Man's Chest, the magic isle is Isla Cruces ("Crosses Island"), the abandoned area where Davy Jones buried his heart. Rumors suggest Isla Cruces might figure into the action of At World's End …
J is for James Norrington.
A member of the Royal Navy, Norrington (Jack Davenport) is in love with Elizabeth and tries to propose to her — except Lizzie faints and takes an, ahem, swan dive into the bay, her heart secretly belonging to Will Turner. Initially gracious about this lack of affection, by Dead Man's Chest he's a bitter drunk, stripped of his honor. He steals Davy Jones' heart and delivers it to Beckett, asking to be returned to post. Does Beckett agree? We find out in At World's End, but a hint: Stills show Norrington in what appears to be an admiral's uniform.
K is for Kraken.
"Krake" is German for octopus, which gives us some idea of what the Kraken actually looks like. In Dead Man's Chest, we never get a full-on shot of the aqua beast, but we do see that its tentacles are giant, its mouth (with circles of huge, spiky teeth) is bigger than Jack Sparrow's entire body, and his breath smells like "a thousand rotting corpses." When the Kraken attacks the Black Pearl, Jack walks into the its gullet, sword raised, and is swallowed by the natatory nuisance. Buzz has it that the Kraken returns in Pirates 3 — but may not be around for any future sequels (wink, wink).
L is for Levi the monkey.
Barbossa has a pet monkey he named Jack, played by two different primates: a 10-year-old Capuchin monkey female named Tara and an 8-year-old Capuchin male named Levi. According to commentary on the Pirates DVDs, the only way to get the little actors to focus was to squirt them with water guns. By the way, they have their fansite, We Named the Monkey Jack, and yes, Jack the monkey does return in At World's End.
M is for missing script.
Production on At World's End was started without a completed screenplay because filmmakers wanted to overlap the productions of Dead Man's Chest and its sequel so they could share sets and shorten the lag time between release dates.
N is for nine pirate lords.
At World's End climaxes with the Brethren of the Coast meeting — a showdown involving a giant whirlpool between nine pirate lords, Beckett, Norrington and the Royal Navy, and Davy Jones and his Flying Dutchman crew. Among the nine pirate lords: Sparrow, Barbossa and newbie pirate bad boy Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat).
O is for opening weekend.
It'll be tough to top the opening box office for Dead Man's Chest, which set a new record with a whopping $135.6 million in its first three days of release in July 2006. It went on to earn more than $1 billion worldwide — only the third movie in history to top the billion-dollar mark (after Titanic and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King).
P is for the Pelegostos.
It's the island where Sparrow lands in Dead Man's Chest while trying to escape an attack by the Kraken. He is thought to be a god by the island-dwelling Pelegostos — unfortunately for him, the Pelegostos believe in honoring their gods by eating them. His escape sequence sparked a bit of controversy when the Carib Indians, who live in Dominica, where the Pelegosto scenes were shot, feared their people were being characterized as cannibals.
Q is for queen of the gypsies, Tia Dalma.
As in the Harry Potter universe, the Pirates universe is rife with wordplay. Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), the voodoo priestess, for instance, is an anagram of Dalmatia, a reference to the Dalmatian Coast, historically a big pirate hangout. Tia returns for At World's End, but as Harris teases, she will turn out to be "not really who she says she is … she is a lot more powerful."
R is for Ragetti and Pintel.
The bumbling crew members Ragetti (The Office's Mackenzie Crook) and Pintel (Seinfeld's Lee Arenberg) have been providing yucks since the beginning — including Ragetti's repeated drama of losing his fake wooden eyeball. In At World's End, Crook says moviegoers "discover that Lee and I are there for more than just comic relief. It turns out that we do have a purpose in the grand scheme of things." The popular pair also were featured in a tie-in Visa commercial, while Ragetti was part of a tie-in for Pirates-themed M&Ms.
S is for Sao Feng.
The mustachioed Sao Feng (Chinese for "howling wind") is the newest villain. Played by Chow Yun-Fat, he leads a crew of supernatural Chinese pirates from Singapore. Little has been revealed about his character, though it is believed that he kidnaps Elizabeth to blackmail Jack into joining the Brethren of the Coast meeting — and that he is in sole possession of the map Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa and their crew require to save Jack.
T is for Turkey Jerky.
Not just a snack food, but a fine substitute for decomposing pirate skin, apparently. When the special-effects wizards wanted to create a realistic look of rotting flesh hanging from cursed pirate bones in Black Pearl, they scanned in turkey jerky and made it look like the decomposing dermis.
U is for unrealized Pirates.
Screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio have said they originally pitched a movie based on the theme-park ride to Disney back in 1992; the studio passed, and another decade went by before the idea came to fruition. But the wilder bit of what-might-have-been lore involves Steven Spielberg. Rumor has it that the director once got his hands on an early version of the Black Pearl script and wanted to direct it himself, with Robin Williams, Steve Martin, Jim Carrey or Bill Murray in the Sparrow role. But the project got stuck in development hell.
V is for Verbinski, Gore Verbinski, Pirates director.
Real name: Gregor Verbinski. Age: 43. Previous jobs: directing music videos and Clio Award-winning commercials, including the famous croaking-frogs TV spot for Budweiser. First films: Mouse Hunt and The Mexican, then the 2002 remake of the Japanese horror film The Ring. He was asked to helm a sequel to The Ring and passed because he "didn't know where to go with it," he says. But he jumped at the chance to revisit Pirates: "The studio said, 'Could you do two more?' And that was sort of challenging to construct a trilogy in reverse, so to speak."
W is for wheel.
One of the most memorable sequences in Dead Man's Chest takes place on a runaway mill wheel, as Sparrow, Turner and Norrington duke it out in a swordfight while the 18-foot-tall, 1,800-pound hunk of round wood rolls through the jungle. "I think the wheel, going upside down and stuff and sword fighting in there (was the most difficult scene)," says Bloom of the eight-day-long shoot. "I was all harnessed, so I couldn't fall out, obviously, but because of gravity, you're really reachingand at one point, the gravity takes you and you're still reaching, but it's pulling you the other way. That was really difficult … (but) it's fun."
X is for X Marks the Spot.
Pirates may be singularly responsible for the uptick in interest in all things pirate-related. An ep of ABC's "Wife Swap" featured a family who lives like pirates (complete with costumes and plenty of "arrrrhs!"). Pirate costumes have become among the most popular Halloween getups. And there's even a (made-up) holiday called International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept. 19). Wanna learn more? Check out X Marks the Spot: The Archaeology of Piracy, a tome one reviewer calls "the first comprehensive, scholarly look at the artifactual evidence of real pirates."
Y is for "(Yo Ho) A Pirate's Life for Me."
It started out as the theme song for the Disneyland attraction, written by Xavier Atencio and George Bruns. In Black Pearl, it's sung three times: once by Young Elizabeth (played by Lucinda Dryzek); once by older Elizabeth and Jack; and once at the end of the film, in a solo performance by Jack.
Z is for Zoe Saldana.
Saldana played Anamaria, the only female crew member of the Black Pearl in the first movie. In another bit of wordplay, the character's name is an homage to two real female pirates, Anne Bonny and Mary Read, who, like the fictional Anamaria, had to disguise themselves as men to land their gigs. Anamaria didn't return for Dead Man's Chest — but she has been rumored to be in on the action of At World's End.
FOGHAT NEWS
This just in: Foghat's "Slow Ride" is going to be featured in Guitar Heroes 3.
Well, there you go, folks, another Peverett Phile extra. The next update will be on Monday then again on the following Sunday. Spread the word, not the turd.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
2000! Savvy?
Hello, and welcome to the Peverett Phile, the web's most updated and read blog. As I write this the Phile has hit over 2000 views. So, thanks to everybody who has spread the word and not the turd. Now, what could the next goal be? Mine is to have Peverett Phile swag up on cafepress.com real soon. Okay, now without further ado, let's get onto the comedy. When former N.J. Gov. Jim McGreevey’s wife found out her husband was gay, she went to Hillary Clinton for advice. Hillary, said, "Gay! I wish I had your problem.” Iraqi leader Jalal Talabani has come to the United States and checked into a weight loss clinic because he’s dangerously obese. A spokesperson says you can’t blame the leader of Iraq for eating every meal like it’s his last. In New Jersey, a 60-year-old woman became the oldest woman to give birth to a pair of twins. Afterwards, the 60-year-old woman said, "It’s nice bouncing something on my knees other than my breasts. Paris Hilton is going to jail soon. It’s the craze that’s sweeping the nation. She’s carrying a Bible around. Experts say it’s because she’s trying to make people see her in a new light. I think it’s working too, because everywhere Paris goes people say, "Look — that skank is carrying a Bible!” Did you hear about Paula Abdul? She tripped over her Chihuahua and broke her nose. She’s going to be fine, but the doctor told her to wait at least six weeks before having sex with a contestant. She broke her nose, but the good news is she did not spill her gin and tonic. New York City announced they are making all the taxi cabs hybrids. This is a big step toward eliminating pollution . . . Now all they need to do is get the drivers to wear deodorant, get the people to stop urinating in street. News about treasure hunting: Some treasure hunters found a sunken ship in the Atlantic. It went down in the 1700s. In the sunken ship, they found $500 million in gold coins. That’s not all. They also found Larry King’s wallet. Nelson Mandela’s birthday is coming up. A concert is being planned to celebrate Nelson Mandela’s birthday. Friends say that Mandela wants the Spice Girls to perform. Apparently 27 years in prison really screws with your taste in music. Florida just announced it has moved up its primary to Jan. 29. This move gives Florida voters a chance to get to the polls earlier to cast their votes for Herbert Hoover.
C-SPAN is launching a new satellite radio station that will be completely dedicated to covering the 2008 presidential election. Experts say listening to C-SPAN is the perfect solution to people who find watching C-SPAN too stimulating. The area around Florida is suffering from a severe drought that has gone on for 18 months. Eighteen months. In fact, the water level is so low, Cubans are walking to Miami. Massachusetts is considering a new law that would ban discrimination of short and overweight people. The bill is expected to be signed by Massachusetts’ new governor, Danny DeVito. This week Toyota introduced a luxury hybrid car that costs $125,000. The luxury hybrid is perfect for the person who wants to be environmentally conscious, but still wants to look like a selfish A-hole. Sen. Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by porn star Jenna Jameson. Jameson’s exact quote was, "I’m endorsing Hillary so tell Bill Clinton to stop bothering me.” At the White House, President Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair held their last joint press conference. In other words, it was the last time they play Christopher Robin and Pooh. One of the tabloids is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning to have a threesome with a Victoria’s Secret model. Pitt is excited about the threesome and said it could be the one of the greatest nights of his week.
STAR WARS WEEKENDS
Time to start planning for Star Wars Weekends! Starting in June, fans get to meet an impressive lineup of special guests attending four weekends of Star Wars fun at the Disney-MGM Studios in Florida. From June 1 to June 24, 2007, fans of all ages will converge to celebrate the heroes, villains, creatures and droids of the saga. In addition to Star Wars costumed characters, fun activities, and the Star Tours theme park ride, celebrity guests will be in attendance for meet-and-greet sessions, star conversations, and a classic Hollywood-style motorcade. Here's a look at the celebrity guests which include Star Wars cast members from the entire saga. June 1-3 -- Warwick Davis & Kenny Baker. Davis was only 11 years old when he played theEwok hero Wicket in Return of the Jedi. In Episode I, he played multiple roles, including that of Anakin's young friend Wald. Kenny Baker gave the "human" side to the beloved droid R2-D2 in A New Hope all the way up to Attack of the Clones. June 8-10 -- Ray Park & Daniel Logan. Fans know Ray Park as the Sith apprentice Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace. Daniel Logan played the young Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones.
June 15-17 -- Jeremy Bulloch & Peter Mayhew. Jeremy Bulloch is known best for his role as the legendary bounty hunter Boba Fett in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. He also made a brief cameo as Captain Colton in Revenge of the Sith. A fan favorite from the classic trilogy, Peter Mayhew is no stranger to Star Wars Weekends. The towering Mayhew played the loyal Wookiee Chewbacca in the original trilogy, and revisited the role in Revenge of the Sith. He is also a pain in the ass and a miserable bastard. June 22-24 -- Anthony Daniels & Bonnie Piesse. Fans know Anthony Daniels for his role as protocol droid C-3PO throughout the Star Wars saga. Bonnie Piesse played the role of Beru in Episode II and Episode III. I will be working the event all through June, so come out and visit.
TV MILF'S
Claire Littleton from "Lost". Played by: Emilie de Ravin. The angelic beauty has definitely had her fair share of baby/ mama drama. Claire's been kidnapped and experimented on by "the Others," but still finds the strength not only to mother baby Aaron but give a doomed Charlie something to look forward to every day. And yes, I would do her.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: Why are women unlucky? A: Because to get eight inches of sausage, they have to take the whole pig.
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me feel happy and sad at the same time." The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Q: What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? A: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Q: What do men and money in the bankhave in common? A: Both lose interest after withdrawal.
HEROES
"Where does it come from, this quest? This need to solve life's mysteries from the simplest of questions can never be answered. Why are we hear? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here. Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain and triumph?" - Mohinder Suresh
The first few sequences in the episode were of the recap variety. First we were treated to a montage of past scenes while Suresh mysteriously and deliberately narrated the above passage. Nice, but I want some action. Thankfully, we were then quickly thrust into the scene where D.L. puts his fist in the back of Linderman's head. It was no less gruesome but somehow much more satisfying this go around. Linderman definitely had it coming and since he didn't make a reappearance it seems my thoughts of him using his healing powers to resurrect himself were wrong. Switching over to Hiro for a second - when his father told him "to take his heart out of it" in last weeks episode several of you speculated that the heart he was referring to was Ando. I'm glad that Hiro opted to leave his heart in it and went after Ando's foolish ass despite his father's objections. Why powerless Ando thought he'd be able to do what Hiro couldn't do with the ability to freeze time is beyond me, but I found it to be a brave nonetheless. Hiro standing up to his father and insisting on saving his friend "while he had the power to stop it" was an equally brave act - especially because Hiro's dad is a tad on the intimidating side. I was surprised to see this was the first time Peter used his mind reading to listen to Nathan's thoughts. To take that one step further, I wonder how he never heard his mother thinking about the bomb since we learned she's known about it for quite some time during her conversation with Mr. Deveaux. If I knew of an imminent explosion, it would be on my mind constantly. Speaking of Deveaux, how great was the scene where he recognizes that future Peter is standing there listening to their conversation. I wasn't expecting this at all, but found it fascinating. It was interesting to see a character, who's long been dead, show up again and have an important role in the "Heroes" mythology. For a split second when the "tracking system" was explaining how her power worked I was in utter shock. She said something along the lines of, "I think of them in my mind, then point to them on the map." I was like, "is that it?" She can tell you I live in Oklahoma but she can't give you my address? How effective a tracking system is that? Of course, I forgot all of this when she started talking about "the one person she can't track who is "a lot worse than the bogeyman" and who she doesn't think about because [Cue Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense voice] "he can see me". Guess we just figured out who one of the main antagonists is going to be next season. Oh yeah, and the map she pushed the pin into went down to the street level. The first thing I thought of was a map of the United States. Yes, I'm an idiot. The scene with Ando, Hiro, and Sylar was just as suspenseful as it was a few weeks back. I about flipped out when the camera panned backwards and Ando found Sylar standing behind him. Again, what was Ando thinking? How is it Sylar let Hiro charge at him from 10 feet away, but Sylar was able to turn and stop Parkman's bullets Neo style in a millisecond. Just another one of the questions I'll just have to learn to not have an answer to (more in a second). During the fight sequence between Nikki and Candice posing as Jessica I wasn't sure about something. Can Candice really fight or was she just making Nikki think she was getting her ass kicked? If I remember correctly, Candice admitted to being a tad on the large side. I don't know too many large people with moves like that aren't in the WWE. The Showdown between Peter and Sylar was a tad on the anticlimactic side, but I guess that was to be expected. Of everything that happened in that last sequence, I was most happy to see Nathan redeem himself after consistently being a piece of crap all season. Some questions: If Peter can fly, why didn't he just take off himself to spare the city from devastation? Why didn't Claire, who made a spectacular escape while being held captive by Mama and Nathan Petrelli - I might add, just shoot Peter? For that matter, Noah had a gun on Peter as well. Why let Nathan and Peter both die (presumably) when Peter was the only one who had to be killed? Also, what exactly set Peter into detonation mode and why didn't anyone mention the fact that Sylar's body was nowhere to be found? Surely someone must have noticed this. Also, as several people pointed out in the chat, where was everybody in the city? You know, normal non-powered New Yorkers? Did the city just shut down for a couple of hours?
Oh well, I guess I can't be too picky and I'm sure you all fill me in on your personal theories. It was going to be impossible to live up to the hype, but all things considered, they did a decent job of it. Lastly, I found the clip to Generations really piqued my curiosity. To use Hiro's word, the show looks "@#$%!" good!
NUTTED BY REALITY
If you've been reading the Phile for the last year and a half, you'd know I'm a reality TV junkie, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Although "On the Lot" got off to slow start, I really see some potential in the show and think it's going to be another bona fide hit in the realm of "Survivor" and "The Apprentice". Why you ask? Because it takes all the things we like about the aforementioned shows (i.e. the competitiveness, the warring type A personalities, the bitchiness, and the everyman appeal of the contestants) and wraps it around a topic most of us have more than a passing interest in - movies. We're all movie critics, except most of the time the only voting we get to do is with our hard earned dollars at the box office and movie store. I think it'll be an interesting change of pace to vote on these short films in an "American Idol" style competition. It also helps that the stakes are very high considering the winner gets a million dollar development deal at DreamWorks. Before getting into the show, why oh why is Chelsea Handler hosting this thing? I find her to be the antithesis of funny and put on her "comedy" show when I'm out of Tylenol PM. I'm lucky I stayed awake through the intro. We quickly learn that 12,000 directors from 33 countries submitted films to be in this competition, and they've already narrowed it down to a more manageable 50. My least favorite part of any reality series is the very beginning of the show when there are a buttload of people rolling around making it difficult for me to keep up with anyone. I can't wait until this group gets whittled down even further so I can actually start learning and caring about some of these personalities.
Carrie Fisher announced the five loglines the contestants would use to create their pitch for the judges (Carrie Fisher being one Brett Ratner and Garry Marshall being the other two in this episode). Since the contestants only had 12 hours to put their pitch together, I'm pretty sure a few of them had their own personal "logline" coming out of the seat of their pants. I know I would. The loglines were as follows: Logline # 1 A slacker applies to the CIA as a joke and is accepted. Logline # 2 A man is watching TV and he sees his face as someone who is wanted or missing. Logline # 3
A mouse is abducted as a lab rat by a pharmaceutical company and has to plan his escape. Logline # 4 A priest meets the woman of his dreams just as he is about to be ordained. Logline # 5 A crate from a military base is delivered to a house in suburbia.
The next portion of the show reminded me a lot of the audition process in "American Idol". There were some good pitches, but a majority of them were painfully awkward to watch. I felt completely embarrassed for some of these people, particularly for a guy named Mark Mclain who pitched a movie called Ratted Out. I couldn't really make out what the hell he was talking about after he uttered the words "he turns into rat man with the size and strength of a human being but the power of a rat" because I was laughing way too loud. I actually started out liking the pitch from Ramsey Mellette about the priest who falls in love with a girl who was possessed by the devil. Then it just got way too weird, and he lost me. I won't even mention the guy on crack who whipped off his belt and started beating the floor like some demented sadist. If anything, reality TV always reminds me why the pharmaceutical companies that sell the crazy pills stay in business. Eventually, I got my wish and the group was carved down to a slightly smaller number. They were paired in groups of three to write, direct, and shoot a 2 1/2 minute show in 24 hours. This is where the competition really started heating up. Every person competing on the show is a director and have their own creative vision for how scenes should be written and shot. There was destined to be some clashes, and burly Jeff and Napoleon like Marty were the first to verbally spar when their styles conflicted. Of course, that's about where the show ended this week.
I really think they should have busted out a 2-hour-premiere for this first night particularlybecause they'd have a decent lead in crowd from that travesty of an "American Idol" finale. (Blika, Blika, Blake is winning it all). As it stands, we have to wait until tonight to see how the rest of this plays out. Logan is watching Robots on DVD right now, so I'll watch it tomorrow. I also think they should have played up the whole Steven Spielberg aspect to the show a lot more. After all, he is an Executive Producer. Why not mention this 20 times during the episode? He's insanely popular and it could only keep people interested in the series. Anyhow, can't wait until we get into the meat of the competition, and I get to start commenting on some of the contestant's films.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1610
Buggery is criminalized for the first time in North America, when the Virginia colony declares that "[n]o man shal commit the horrible, and detestable sinnes of Sodomie upon pain of death."
1856
A small gang led by abolitionist John Brown murders five pro-slavery homesteaders in Franklin County, Kansas, hacking them to pieces with swords. The event comes to be known as the Pottawatomie Massacre.
1920
Senile French President Paul Deschanel falls off a train bound for Montbrison, and is later discovered wandering along the track in his pajamas.
1964
All hell breaks loose in the closing minutes of a match between Peru and Argentina, after a referee disallows a goal. 318 people are killed and 500 injured in Lima, Peru, making it the worst soccer riot in history.
2007
My son Logan graduates from first grade. Holy shit, I have a second grader.
GEEK TALK
Okay, get this: Keanu Reeves' new movie Night Watch. Its title recently changed from The Night Watchman to Night Watch to avoid confusion with Zack Snyder's upcoming superhero movie called Watchmen. I found it odd at the time that the filmmakers aren't concerned about getting mixed up with Night Watch, Nightwatch, or Nightwatch. Believe it or not, this title hopping is about to get even more complicated -- Keanu Reeves has been offered a role in Watchmen! My head hurts. Sources say Reeves has been offered the role of Doctor Manhattan, AKA Dr. Jon Osterman -- the "big blue superbeing" with god-like powers like superhuman strength, telekenesis, the ability to teleport, and clairvoyance. In the immortal words of Reeves himself: "Whoa!" Jude Law is expected to take on the role of Adrien Veidt, or Ozymandias -- "the smartest man on the planet." Law is a longtime Watchmen fan, and was expected to get the role, although Chris reported a couple months ago on rumors that fellow fan Tom Cruise was interested. Little Children's Patrick Wilson is expected to play Dan Drieberg -- Nite Owl, a hero similar to Batman. Watchmen is a twelve issue graphic novel written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons, and is considered by many to be the pinnacle of the form. It is the only graphic novel to have been featured on Time Magazine's 2005 list of the 100 best English language novels from 1923 to the present. It is also my favorite graphic novel ever and I have personally been waiting for this movie for twenty years!!! Zack Snyder is directing Watchmen as his follow-up to the smash hit 300. The star of that film, Gerard Butler, has been linked to Watchmen as well, but now that three of the leads seem to be nearly finalized, that may not come to pass. What do you guys think -- are these good choices?There are still a lot of Watchmen roles up for grabs, who would you want to see round out the cast?
MOVIE BUZZ
The Dark Knight
Over the weekend, Bat-fans scrambled to uncover a grotesque image of Heath Ledger as the Joker that was eventually removed and replaced with a cryptic, hidden message saying, "See you in December." Good thing. That photo was scary enough to really make me want to quit him.
U2 3-D
The 3-D for this film will make it seem like you're really at a concert by the Irish rock band. Before I decide if I want to go see this: Can any U2 fan tell me if girls at their shows take off their tops?
Indiana Jones and the City of Gods
Further plot details have been leaked saying that the sequel will take place in the '50s, Shia LaBeouf will play a "greaser" and that he and Indy investigate extraterrestrials. Cool. Sounds like that episode of "Happy Days" where Fonzie met Mork from Ork.
Kane & Lynch
The violent video game about a mercenary and a schizophrenic that hasn't even been released yet already has a director attached for the adaptation: Jieho Lee. So, why are they making movies about unreleased games? I'm still waiting for Space Invaders and Pac-Man.
I Know Who Killed Me
If you go to the film's official site and lie about your age during registration, you can watch Lindsay Lohan dance around in her underwear in the clip called "She's Different." Which is, of course, way less of what we've seen of her on gossip sites all over the web already.
Well, there you go, Phans. I still can't believe we hit 2000 views before June. Tomorrow we are planning on seeing the Pirates movie, so when I get back home I will post the review in a Peverett Phile Extra. Also, the Phile will be updated on Monday instead on Thursday as next week I'll be at Star Wars Weekends. Tomorrow, Monday and then on Sunday's all through June you can read the latest entries of the Phile. And as always, spread the word, not the turd.
'Nuff said.
C-SPAN is launching a new satellite radio station that will be completely dedicated to covering the 2008 presidential election. Experts say listening to C-SPAN is the perfect solution to people who find watching C-SPAN too stimulating. The area around Florida is suffering from a severe drought that has gone on for 18 months. Eighteen months. In fact, the water level is so low, Cubans are walking to Miami. Massachusetts is considering a new law that would ban discrimination of short and overweight people. The bill is expected to be signed by Massachusetts’ new governor, Danny DeVito. This week Toyota introduced a luxury hybrid car that costs $125,000. The luxury hybrid is perfect for the person who wants to be environmentally conscious, but still wants to look like a selfish A-hole. Sen. Hillary Clinton has been endorsed by porn star Jenna Jameson. Jameson’s exact quote was, "I’m endorsing Hillary so tell Bill Clinton to stop bothering me.” At the White House, President Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair held their last joint press conference. In other words, it was the last time they play Christopher Robin and Pooh. One of the tabloids is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning to have a threesome with a Victoria’s Secret model. Pitt is excited about the threesome and said it could be the one of the greatest nights of his week.
STAR WARS WEEKENDS
Time to start planning for Star Wars Weekends! Starting in June, fans get to meet an impressive lineup of special guests attending four weekends of Star Wars fun at the Disney-MGM Studios in Florida. From June 1 to June 24, 2007, fans of all ages will converge to celebrate the heroes, villains, creatures and droids of the saga. In addition to Star Wars costumed characters, fun activities, and the Star Tours theme park ride, celebrity guests will be in attendance for meet-and-greet sessions, star conversations, and a classic Hollywood-style motorcade. Here's a look at the celebrity guests which include Star Wars cast members from the entire saga. June 1-3 -- Warwick Davis & Kenny Baker. Davis was only 11 years old when he played theEwok hero Wicket in Return of the Jedi. In Episode I, he played multiple roles, including that of Anakin's young friend Wald. Kenny Baker gave the "human" side to the beloved droid R2-D2 in A New Hope all the way up to Attack of the Clones. June 8-10 -- Ray Park & Daniel Logan. Fans know Ray Park as the Sith apprentice Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace. Daniel Logan played the young Boba Fett in Attack of the Clones.
June 15-17 -- Jeremy Bulloch & Peter Mayhew. Jeremy Bulloch is known best for his role as the legendary bounty hunter Boba Fett in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. He also made a brief cameo as Captain Colton in Revenge of the Sith. A fan favorite from the classic trilogy, Peter Mayhew is no stranger to Star Wars Weekends. The towering Mayhew played the loyal Wookiee Chewbacca in the original trilogy, and revisited the role in Revenge of the Sith. He is also a pain in the ass and a miserable bastard. June 22-24 -- Anthony Daniels & Bonnie Piesse. Fans know Anthony Daniels for his role as protocol droid C-3PO throughout the Star Wars saga. Bonnie Piesse played the role of Beru in Episode II and Episode III. I will be working the event all through June, so come out and visit.
TV MILF'S
Claire Littleton from "Lost". Played by: Emilie de Ravin. The angelic beauty has definitely had her fair share of baby/ mama drama. Claire's been kidnapped and experimented on by "the Others," but still finds the strength not only to mother baby Aaron but give a doomed Charlie something to look forward to every day. And yes, I would do her.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: Why are women unlucky? A: Because to get eight inches of sausage, they have to take the whole pig.
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me feel happy and sad at the same time." The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Q: What's the difference between the Pope and your boss? A: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Q: What do men and money in the bankhave in common? A: Both lose interest after withdrawal.
HEROES
"Where does it come from, this quest? This need to solve life's mysteries from the simplest of questions can never be answered. Why are we hear? What is the soul? Why do we dream? Perhaps we'd be better off not looking at all. Not delving, not yearning. But that's not human nature. Not the human heart. That is not why we are here. Yet still we struggle to make a difference, to change the world, to dream of hope never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way. Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand, touch our hearts, and share the pain and triumph?" - Mohinder Suresh
The first few sequences in the episode were of the recap variety. First we were treated to a montage of past scenes while Suresh mysteriously and deliberately narrated the above passage. Nice, but I want some action. Thankfully, we were then quickly thrust into the scene where D.L. puts his fist in the back of Linderman's head. It was no less gruesome but somehow much more satisfying this go around. Linderman definitely had it coming and since he didn't make a reappearance it seems my thoughts of him using his healing powers to resurrect himself were wrong. Switching over to Hiro for a second - when his father told him "to take his heart out of it" in last weeks episode several of you speculated that the heart he was referring to was Ando. I'm glad that Hiro opted to leave his heart in it and went after Ando's foolish ass despite his father's objections. Why powerless Ando thought he'd be able to do what Hiro couldn't do with the ability to freeze time is beyond me, but I found it to be a brave nonetheless. Hiro standing up to his father and insisting on saving his friend "while he had the power to stop it" was an equally brave act - especially because Hiro's dad is a tad on the intimidating side. I was surprised to see this was the first time Peter used his mind reading to listen to Nathan's thoughts. To take that one step further, I wonder how he never heard his mother thinking about the bomb since we learned she's known about it for quite some time during her conversation with Mr. Deveaux. If I knew of an imminent explosion, it would be on my mind constantly. Speaking of Deveaux, how great was the scene where he recognizes that future Peter is standing there listening to their conversation. I wasn't expecting this at all, but found it fascinating. It was interesting to see a character, who's long been dead, show up again and have an important role in the "Heroes" mythology. For a split second when the "tracking system" was explaining how her power worked I was in utter shock. She said something along the lines of, "I think of them in my mind, then point to them on the map." I was like, "is that it?" She can tell you I live in Oklahoma but she can't give you my address? How effective a tracking system is that? Of course, I forgot all of this when she started talking about "the one person she can't track who is "a lot worse than the bogeyman" and who she doesn't think about because [Cue Haley Joel Osment in The Sixth Sense voice] "he can see me". Guess we just figured out who one of the main antagonists is going to be next season. Oh yeah, and the map she pushed the pin into went down to the street level. The first thing I thought of was a map of the United States. Yes, I'm an idiot. The scene with Ando, Hiro, and Sylar was just as suspenseful as it was a few weeks back. I about flipped out when the camera panned backwards and Ando found Sylar standing behind him. Again, what was Ando thinking? How is it Sylar let Hiro charge at him from 10 feet away, but Sylar was able to turn and stop Parkman's bullets Neo style in a millisecond. Just another one of the questions I'll just have to learn to not have an answer to (more in a second). During the fight sequence between Nikki and Candice posing as Jessica I wasn't sure about something. Can Candice really fight or was she just making Nikki think she was getting her ass kicked? If I remember correctly, Candice admitted to being a tad on the large side. I don't know too many large people with moves like that aren't in the WWE. The Showdown between Peter and Sylar was a tad on the anticlimactic side, but I guess that was to be expected. Of everything that happened in that last sequence, I was most happy to see Nathan redeem himself after consistently being a piece of crap all season. Some questions: If Peter can fly, why didn't he just take off himself to spare the city from devastation? Why didn't Claire, who made a spectacular escape while being held captive by Mama and Nathan Petrelli - I might add, just shoot Peter? For that matter, Noah had a gun on Peter as well. Why let Nathan and Peter both die (presumably) when Peter was the only one who had to be killed? Also, what exactly set Peter into detonation mode and why didn't anyone mention the fact that Sylar's body was nowhere to be found? Surely someone must have noticed this. Also, as several people pointed out in the chat, where was everybody in the city? You know, normal non-powered New Yorkers? Did the city just shut down for a couple of hours?
Oh well, I guess I can't be too picky and I'm sure you all fill me in on your personal theories. It was going to be impossible to live up to the hype, but all things considered, they did a decent job of it. Lastly, I found the clip to Generations really piqued my curiosity. To use Hiro's word, the show looks "@#$%!" good!
NUTTED BY REALITY
If you've been reading the Phile for the last year and a half, you'd know I'm a reality TV junkie, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Although "On the Lot" got off to slow start, I really see some potential in the show and think it's going to be another bona fide hit in the realm of "Survivor" and "The Apprentice". Why you ask? Because it takes all the things we like about the aforementioned shows (i.e. the competitiveness, the warring type A personalities, the bitchiness, and the everyman appeal of the contestants) and wraps it around a topic most of us have more than a passing interest in - movies. We're all movie critics, except most of the time the only voting we get to do is with our hard earned dollars at the box office and movie store. I think it'll be an interesting change of pace to vote on these short films in an "American Idol" style competition. It also helps that the stakes are very high considering the winner gets a million dollar development deal at DreamWorks. Before getting into the show, why oh why is Chelsea Handler hosting this thing? I find her to be the antithesis of funny and put on her "comedy" show when I'm out of Tylenol PM. I'm lucky I stayed awake through the intro. We quickly learn that 12,000 directors from 33 countries submitted films to be in this competition, and they've already narrowed it down to a more manageable 50. My least favorite part of any reality series is the very beginning of the show when there are a buttload of people rolling around making it difficult for me to keep up with anyone. I can't wait until this group gets whittled down even further so I can actually start learning and caring about some of these personalities.
Carrie Fisher announced the five loglines the contestants would use to create their pitch for the judges (Carrie Fisher being one Brett Ratner and Garry Marshall being the other two in this episode). Since the contestants only had 12 hours to put their pitch together, I'm pretty sure a few of them had their own personal "logline" coming out of the seat of their pants. I know I would. The loglines were as follows: Logline # 1 A slacker applies to the CIA as a joke and is accepted. Logline # 2 A man is watching TV and he sees his face as someone who is wanted or missing. Logline # 3
A mouse is abducted as a lab rat by a pharmaceutical company and has to plan his escape. Logline # 4 A priest meets the woman of his dreams just as he is about to be ordained. Logline # 5 A crate from a military base is delivered to a house in suburbia.
The next portion of the show reminded me a lot of the audition process in "American Idol". There were some good pitches, but a majority of them were painfully awkward to watch. I felt completely embarrassed for some of these people, particularly for a guy named Mark Mclain who pitched a movie called Ratted Out. I couldn't really make out what the hell he was talking about after he uttered the words "he turns into rat man with the size and strength of a human being but the power of a rat" because I was laughing way too loud. I actually started out liking the pitch from Ramsey Mellette about the priest who falls in love with a girl who was possessed by the devil. Then it just got way too weird, and he lost me. I won't even mention the guy on crack who whipped off his belt and started beating the floor like some demented sadist. If anything, reality TV always reminds me why the pharmaceutical companies that sell the crazy pills stay in business. Eventually, I got my wish and the group was carved down to a slightly smaller number. They were paired in groups of three to write, direct, and shoot a 2 1/2 minute show in 24 hours. This is where the competition really started heating up. Every person competing on the show is a director and have their own creative vision for how scenes should be written and shot. There was destined to be some clashes, and burly Jeff and Napoleon like Marty were the first to verbally spar when their styles conflicted. Of course, that's about where the show ended this week.
I really think they should have busted out a 2-hour-premiere for this first night particularlybecause they'd have a decent lead in crowd from that travesty of an "American Idol" finale. (Blika, Blika, Blake is winning it all). As it stands, we have to wait until tonight to see how the rest of this plays out. Logan is watching Robots on DVD right now, so I'll watch it tomorrow. I also think they should have played up the whole Steven Spielberg aspect to the show a lot more. After all, he is an Executive Producer. Why not mention this 20 times during the episode? He's insanely popular and it could only keep people interested in the series. Anyhow, can't wait until we get into the meat of the competition, and I get to start commenting on some of the contestant's films.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1610
Buggery is criminalized for the first time in North America, when the Virginia colony declares that "[n]o man shal commit the horrible, and detestable sinnes of Sodomie upon pain of death."
1856
A small gang led by abolitionist John Brown murders five pro-slavery homesteaders in Franklin County, Kansas, hacking them to pieces with swords. The event comes to be known as the Pottawatomie Massacre.
1920
Senile French President Paul Deschanel falls off a train bound for Montbrison, and is later discovered wandering along the track in his pajamas.
1964
All hell breaks loose in the closing minutes of a match between Peru and Argentina, after a referee disallows a goal. 318 people are killed and 500 injured in Lima, Peru, making it the worst soccer riot in history.
2007
My son Logan graduates from first grade. Holy shit, I have a second grader.
GEEK TALK
Okay, get this: Keanu Reeves' new movie Night Watch. Its title recently changed from The Night Watchman to Night Watch to avoid confusion with Zack Snyder's upcoming superhero movie called Watchmen. I found it odd at the time that the filmmakers aren't concerned about getting mixed up with Night Watch, Nightwatch, or Nightwatch. Believe it or not, this title hopping is about to get even more complicated -- Keanu Reeves has been offered a role in Watchmen! My head hurts. Sources say Reeves has been offered the role of Doctor Manhattan, AKA Dr. Jon Osterman -- the "big blue superbeing" with god-like powers like superhuman strength, telekenesis, the ability to teleport, and clairvoyance. In the immortal words of Reeves himself: "Whoa!" Jude Law is expected to take on the role of Adrien Veidt, or Ozymandias -- "the smartest man on the planet." Law is a longtime Watchmen fan, and was expected to get the role, although Chris reported a couple months ago on rumors that fellow fan Tom Cruise was interested. Little Children's Patrick Wilson is expected to play Dan Drieberg -- Nite Owl, a hero similar to Batman. Watchmen is a twelve issue graphic novel written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons, and is considered by many to be the pinnacle of the form. It is the only graphic novel to have been featured on Time Magazine's 2005 list of the 100 best English language novels from 1923 to the present. It is also my favorite graphic novel ever and I have personally been waiting for this movie for twenty years!!! Zack Snyder is directing Watchmen as his follow-up to the smash hit 300. The star of that film, Gerard Butler, has been linked to Watchmen as well, but now that three of the leads seem to be nearly finalized, that may not come to pass. What do you guys think -- are these good choices?There are still a lot of Watchmen roles up for grabs, who would you want to see round out the cast?
MOVIE BUZZ
The Dark Knight
Over the weekend, Bat-fans scrambled to uncover a grotesque image of Heath Ledger as the Joker that was eventually removed and replaced with a cryptic, hidden message saying, "See you in December." Good thing. That photo was scary enough to really make me want to quit him.
U2 3-D
The 3-D for this film will make it seem like you're really at a concert by the Irish rock band. Before I decide if I want to go see this: Can any U2 fan tell me if girls at their shows take off their tops?
Indiana Jones and the City of Gods
Further plot details have been leaked saying that the sequel will take place in the '50s, Shia LaBeouf will play a "greaser" and that he and Indy investigate extraterrestrials. Cool. Sounds like that episode of "Happy Days" where Fonzie met Mork from Ork.
Kane & Lynch
The violent video game about a mercenary and a schizophrenic that hasn't even been released yet already has a director attached for the adaptation: Jieho Lee. So, why are they making movies about unreleased games? I'm still waiting for Space Invaders and Pac-Man.
I Know Who Killed Me
If you go to the film's official site and lie about your age during registration, you can watch Lindsay Lohan dance around in her underwear in the clip called "She's Different." Which is, of course, way less of what we've seen of her on gossip sites all over the web already.
Well, there you go, Phans. I still can't believe we hit 2000 views before June. Tomorrow we are planning on seeing the Pirates movie, so when I get back home I will post the review in a Peverett Phile Extra. Also, the Phile will be updated on Monday instead on Thursday as next week I'll be at Star Wars Weekends. Tomorrow, Monday and then on Sunday's all through June you can read the latest entries of the Phile. And as always, spread the word, not the turd.
'Nuff said.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
A Peverett Phile Extra: I'm An Ogre
Hi there, and welcome to another Peverett Phile Extra. Today we went to see Shrek The Third. I cannot remember the last time Jen, Logan and I went to the movies together. It was also the first time we went to the AMC theater at Universal Studios. What a massive theater. And they serve beer! I didn't drink any at 10:30 in the morning, though. Anyway, this entry is dedicated to Shrek, so without further ado...
MOVIE BUZZ
SHREK THE THIRD
Starring the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Justin Timberlake, Larry King, John Krasinski, Ian McShane, Cheri Oteri, Regis Philbin, Amy Poehler, Seth Rogen, Maya Rudolph, Amy Sedaris. Shrek's gone soft. Seriously. He used to be nastier and more ogre-ish. Now he's all family-mannish and boring. Donkey, too. He just dotes on his little dragon/donkey babies. The only one you can count on to be really nuts these days is Puss in Boots. So when it's time to save the kingdom of Far Far Away from a coup by Charming, it's less about Shrek coming in to fix things than a gang of princesses like Cinderella and Snow White and Rapunzel collectively deciding to kick a little butt. I wanted to like this more than I did. I was a big fan of the first film but aw it a year later on DVD after it came out. The second one was less obnoxious and generally funnier and smarter all around. And now it seems like they've run out of ideas and are content to just go right for the butt-scratching jokes. It starts out funny, front-loaded with all the best bits, before settling into the let's-just-sell-more-toys phase. The coolest thing about it was again, that would be Puss. He's become more than a sidekick, written and "drawn" with much more personality than even a lead character like Fiona. And it's also nice to hear Sedaris, who's one of my favorites, voicing Cinderella. But all the "Ye Olde Foot Locker" and "Versarchery" jokes. It was funny the first couple of times, the product placement that isn't exactly product placement (but still sort of is), but now it just feels like what happens when you stretch a joke with your friends past the point of making each other laugh, and you're just doing it to keep doing it. Speaking of selling more toys... Maybe I'm not supposed to notice when I'm soaking in advertising. Maybe the point is to inundate us all subliminally. But I can't help but feel assaulted by the billboards and sides of buses and Happy Meals and dolls on the shelves at Target and commercials and then infomercials masquerading as bits on "American Idol". It makes you feel like you don't even need to go see the movie, like it's already playing itself out for you in public.
Okay, while I'm here, let's talk geek.
GEEK TALK
You'd think that Spider-Man creator Stan Lee would receive privileged information about Spider-Man 4, but apparently he doesn't even know what is going on in the comics, let alone the movie scripts. Still, he is smart enough to know what should happen in the next installment of the series: Dr. Curt Connors, who we've briefly seen in parts 2 and 3, should finally turn into The Lizard. Of course, an appearance from the scaly villain has been expected since Connors was first alluded to in the first film. In addition to suggesting that The Lizard should be the next villain, in a video interview with Reelz Channel's Dailies, Lee also discusses the possibility of Peter Parker ending up with Gwen Stacy rather than Mary Jane in part 4. Lee's suggestion is simply that, a suggestion, as long as he has no real creative input, but he is right to say The Lizard is a logical next step. Certainly such logic makes it less of a surprise when we hear rumors about the villain already being a lock for the film. However, expecting a villain because of onscreen allusions means we should also logically predict that Man-Wolf and Robot-Master will show up at some point, too. Anyway, Lee probably wants to see another one of his own creations like The Lizard on the big screen instead of any of Spidey's newer villains, like Carnage, who is also being talked about for #4. For me, either villain or both is fine, just as long as Spidey doesn't team up with Venom to fight them. I actually stopped reading the comics following the Maximum Carnage storyline (though I did give the good-guy Venom series a fair shot), and I'd probably stop watching the movies at the same point. I know the end of Spider-Man 3 suggests this couldn't happen, but you never know -- either with comic books or the movies.
Are you sick and tired of all the political talk as of late? Having a hard time finding a candidate to stand behind? Well, might I suggest a young fellownamed Harvey Dent. According to a message on the teaser site for next summer's The Dark Knight, Mr. Dent is running for District Attorney of Gotham City. His tagline: I Believe in Harvey Dent. That's right, Warner Bros. has already begun the marketing train for Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins follow-up by first releasing a pic of the Bat symbol flying through hyper speed (or something like that), and now we have a photo of Aaron Eckhart all decked out in Dent gear. Don't get your hopes up too high though -- Dent's "gear" consists only of a flashy suit and a blue tie. But he looks smashing! They're obviously having a little fun with us; we're not sure if this is actually a picture of Eckhart as Dent, but I imagine the final outcome won't look much different. Now if I were take a wild guess, I would say that Warners might try to set up a little backstory in their marketing campaign before the movie hits. From what I've heard, Dent will be the newly-appointed DA when the film opens up. So are they setting things up? Will we next see a newspaper headline that reports a crime committed by Joker? Perhaps a Wanted poster? Or am I reading too far into this? Still no word on whether that so-called teaser (supposedly featuring the Joker) is real, but word is it's playing ahead of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Two months to go; we'll see. In the meantime, stay tuned to the Phile as we'll let you know where you can vote for Mr. Dent come this November. The Dark Knight hits theaters on July 18, 2008.
Okay, there you have it. A Shrek review, Spider-Man and Batman news. We are less then 50 views away from hitting 2000. I am so excited. My friend Ron is also finishing up the art work for the Peverett Phile t-shirts and mouse pads and that kind of swag. So, spread the word, not the turd. And for the best Monte Cristo sandwich, go to Gator's Dockside. 'Nuff said.
MOVIE BUZZ
SHREK THE THIRD
Starring the voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Julie Andrews, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Justin Timberlake, Larry King, John Krasinski, Ian McShane, Cheri Oteri, Regis Philbin, Amy Poehler, Seth Rogen, Maya Rudolph, Amy Sedaris. Shrek's gone soft. Seriously. He used to be nastier and more ogre-ish. Now he's all family-mannish and boring. Donkey, too. He just dotes on his little dragon/donkey babies. The only one you can count on to be really nuts these days is Puss in Boots. So when it's time to save the kingdom of Far Far Away from a coup by Charming, it's less about Shrek coming in to fix things than a gang of princesses like Cinderella and Snow White and Rapunzel collectively deciding to kick a little butt. I wanted to like this more than I did. I was a big fan of the first film but aw it a year later on DVD after it came out. The second one was less obnoxious and generally funnier and smarter all around. And now it seems like they've run out of ideas and are content to just go right for the butt-scratching jokes. It starts out funny, front-loaded with all the best bits, before settling into the let's-just-sell-more-toys phase. The coolest thing about it was again, that would be Puss. He's become more than a sidekick, written and "drawn" with much more personality than even a lead character like Fiona. And it's also nice to hear Sedaris, who's one of my favorites, voicing Cinderella. But all the "Ye Olde Foot Locker" and "Versarchery" jokes. It was funny the first couple of times, the product placement that isn't exactly product placement (but still sort of is), but now it just feels like what happens when you stretch a joke with your friends past the point of making each other laugh, and you're just doing it to keep doing it. Speaking of selling more toys... Maybe I'm not supposed to notice when I'm soaking in advertising. Maybe the point is to inundate us all subliminally. But I can't help but feel assaulted by the billboards and sides of buses and Happy Meals and dolls on the shelves at Target and commercials and then infomercials masquerading as bits on "American Idol". It makes you feel like you don't even need to go see the movie, like it's already playing itself out for you in public.
Okay, while I'm here, let's talk geek.
GEEK TALK
You'd think that Spider-Man creator Stan Lee would receive privileged information about Spider-Man 4, but apparently he doesn't even know what is going on in the comics, let alone the movie scripts. Still, he is smart enough to know what should happen in the next installment of the series: Dr. Curt Connors, who we've briefly seen in parts 2 and 3, should finally turn into The Lizard. Of course, an appearance from the scaly villain has been expected since Connors was first alluded to in the first film. In addition to suggesting that The Lizard should be the next villain, in a video interview with Reelz Channel's Dailies, Lee also discusses the possibility of Peter Parker ending up with Gwen Stacy rather than Mary Jane in part 4. Lee's suggestion is simply that, a suggestion, as long as he has no real creative input, but he is right to say The Lizard is a logical next step. Certainly such logic makes it less of a surprise when we hear rumors about the villain already being a lock for the film. However, expecting a villain because of onscreen allusions means we should also logically predict that Man-Wolf and Robot-Master will show up at some point, too. Anyway, Lee probably wants to see another one of his own creations like The Lizard on the big screen instead of any of Spidey's newer villains, like Carnage, who is also being talked about for #4. For me, either villain or both is fine, just as long as Spidey doesn't team up with Venom to fight them. I actually stopped reading the comics following the Maximum Carnage storyline (though I did give the good-guy Venom series a fair shot), and I'd probably stop watching the movies at the same point. I know the end of Spider-Man 3 suggests this couldn't happen, but you never know -- either with comic books or the movies.
Are you sick and tired of all the political talk as of late? Having a hard time finding a candidate to stand behind? Well, might I suggest a young fellownamed Harvey Dent. According to a message on the teaser site for next summer's The Dark Knight, Mr. Dent is running for District Attorney of Gotham City. His tagline: I Believe in Harvey Dent. That's right, Warner Bros. has already begun the marketing train for Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins follow-up by first releasing a pic of the Bat symbol flying through hyper speed (or something like that), and now we have a photo of Aaron Eckhart all decked out in Dent gear. Don't get your hopes up too high though -- Dent's "gear" consists only of a flashy suit and a blue tie. But he looks smashing! They're obviously having a little fun with us; we're not sure if this is actually a picture of Eckhart as Dent, but I imagine the final outcome won't look much different. Now if I were take a wild guess, I would say that Warners might try to set up a little backstory in their marketing campaign before the movie hits. From what I've heard, Dent will be the newly-appointed DA when the film opens up. So are they setting things up? Will we next see a newspaper headline that reports a crime committed by Joker? Perhaps a Wanted poster? Or am I reading too far into this? Still no word on whether that so-called teaser (supposedly featuring the Joker) is real, but word is it's playing ahead of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Two months to go; we'll see. In the meantime, stay tuned to the Phile as we'll let you know where you can vote for Mr. Dent come this November. The Dark Knight hits theaters on July 18, 2008.
Okay, there you have it. A Shrek review, Spider-Man and Batman news. We are less then 50 views away from hitting 2000. I am so excited. My friend Ron is also finishing up the art work for the Peverett Phile t-shirts and mouse pads and that kind of swag. So, spread the word, not the turd. And for the best Monte Cristo sandwich, go to Gator's Dockside. 'Nuff said.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Donkey Talk
Hello, and welcome to the Peverett Phile. Tomorrow Shrek The Third will be released. My wife said I could play any character from that movie just about. Shrek, because he's fat and goofy looking, Donkey because he's an ass and won't shut up, or Puss in boots, just because he's a pussy. I don't understand. Donald Trump had a new granddaughter over the weekend. I did the math on this: Trump’s new granddaughter will graduate from high school the same year as his next wife. There was a Republican presidential debate last night. The Republican candidates looked like the evil law firm in a John Grisham movie. There’s a rumor coming out of Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney, when he was CEO of Halliburton, used to visit prostitutes. This would explain why one girl was paid 2 billion dollars. The other night Fox News aired the second Republican presidential debate. My favorite part was when the white guy went after those two white guys, and three other whites guys chimed in. Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said Congress has been spending money like John Edwards at a beauty salon. Then he got an even bigger laugh when he said he was running for president. Broadway’s Tony nominations came out this week. As for the people who care about the Tony nominations? They came out a long time ago. Paris Hilton is going to jail. It’s been announced that when Paris gets to jail, her cell will only be 8 feet by 12 feet. Which explains why Paris just purchased an 8-by-12-foot ceiling mirror. Very hot today. So hot today that Iran is enriching popsicles. So hot today that Paris Hilton is happy to be going to the "cooler.” Bob Barker, the host of "The Price Is Right” for the last 35 years, is retiring. That is amazing. What is more exciting than a housewife from Reseda trying to guess the price of a riding mower? In New York City, they’re trying to pass a law that would require strippers to pay taxes on the money they earn for lap dances. This law is for every guy who has said, "This lap dance is great, but I wish there was something to fix potholes and build schools.” In a new video promoting Hillary Clinton’s campaign, former President Clinton says, "There are a lot of things about Hillary that voters may not know.” Then he said, "For instance, she has a smoking-hot assistant.”
In a new interview, actress Ellen Barkin says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have sex before dinner to see if it’s worth going to dinner. Meanwhile, Kirstie Alley says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have dinner before dinner. Miami was voted the worst road rage state. You have 20 year olds doing 95, and 95 year olds doing 20, that’s why. President Bush was busy over the weekend. In Virginia he attended some big event, and I guess he got up at one point on the spur of the moment and he conducted a 400-piece orchestra. Apparently, it was the first time ever a 400-piece orchestra has ever played "The Wheels on the Bus.” Big news from England. British Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced that he will step down next month. After hearing this President Bush said, "That’s a shame. He’s the only world leader who took the time to learn English.” Anheuser-Bush is being accused of creating a new alcoholic drink designed to appeal to underage drinkers. The critics may have a point: The new drink is called Harry Potter and the Malt Liquor. Wal-Mart has announced they’re going to open health clinics in some of their stores. Wal-Mart health clinics. Wal-Mart’s health clinics are for those people who don’t want to spend money on those fancy K-Mart doctors. Jessica Simpson announced that she has to avoid eating dairy products because, this is her quote, "It makes me emit gas from all ends.” It’s all in her new book, "Just in Case You Thought I was Hot.” Republican presidential candidate Duncan Hunter revealed that he drives a Chevy Suburban with 274,000 miles on it. Despite all those miles, the Suburban has a much better chance of making it to the ’08 election than Duncan Hunter.
Okay, now for a new feature on the Phile called...
TV MILF'S
Sam Taggart from "ER" played by: Linda Cardellini. Sam takes a no-nonsense, tough love approach when dealing with her patients, her son and her lovers. She's got a troubled past and an uncertain future, making her one of the most complex TV moms today. Plus, she makes nurse scrubs look super-sexy.
NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS
A man who spent his lifesavings after being told he had months to live is seeking compensation after doctors in Britain conceded they had got the diagnosis wrong. John Brandrick, 62, was told two years ago that he had terminal pancreatic cancer. He decided to spend his remaining time in style, quitting his job and spending his savings on hotels, restaurants and holidays. A year later, doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in southwest England revised their diagnosis: Brandrick was suffering from pancreatitis, a nonfatal ailment. "My life has been turned upside down by this," Brandrick said. "I was told certainly, by the doctor, that I had cancer, and from that day I lived life in full. I was told I had limited time to live. I got rid of everything - my car, my clothes, everything." Brandrick said he did not want to take the hospital to court, "but if they have made the wrong decision they should pay me something back." The hospital said there was "no clear evidence of negligence" on its part. "Whilst we do sympathize with Mr. Brandrick's position, clinical review of his case has not revealed that any different diagnosis would have been made at the time based on the same evidence," a spokesman said on customary condition of anonymity.
HEROES
This episode got off to a quick start picking up right where we left off last week with Peter Petrelli on the verge of combustion. Peter nearly had Claire shoot him as they had previously discussed, but fortunately, he seemed to gain control of his newly absorbed power. Which brings me to this question: Why is it Peter can absorb powers by standing next to someone, but Sylar has to "rip your head open" to quote Claire? I'm sure someone will let me know in the comments. I'm guessing it's not just a personal preference. Peter's involvement from this point forward was fairly limited, but we can see from the previews that all hell is going to break loose next week, and Peter and Sylar will have their much anticipated standoff. Nathan Petrelli continues to bug me. Throughout the entire first season he's had several opportunities to be a good person and potentially avert a lot of the chaos that is destined to occur, but he always brushes those opportunities aside and continues forward. Case in point was the conversation that took place when Hiro confronted him on the streets and offered him the chance to not become a bad man. I loved that Hiro called him out on the fact that he's already a bad man. I also liked his repeated cry of "villain, villian, VILLIAN". Nathan is a difficult character to read. There's times I think he's good but more often than not he seems a little evil. I also wonder if he's sincerely happy that his wife is newly mobile. I was surprised she didn't seem to make the connection that Linderman healed her. Let me be the first to say that Hiro's dad is an absolute badass and you could tell Hiro loved discovering this from the cheesy grin on his face when his dad broke out the ninjitsu moves and put the sword to Hiro's throat. I never really suspected that Hiro's dad was anything other than the CEO of a large Japanese company, but it was pretty interesting to learn that he's actually a major player in the Heroes' mythology. I would love to see an entire episode dedicated to his "allies with powers who fought to save the world but lost their way". The entire sequence where Hiro trained with his father was riveting stuff. I'm wondering if Hiro saying "to save what is important I must be strong enough to cut out my own heart" means he will have to perform some form of the sacred Seppuku ritual in his battle with Sylar.
It was also cool to see Hiro become proficient with the sword in such a short period of time. The Kaito Nakamura Dojo is truly a center of martial arts excellence. I enjoyed the humor the writers inject into what could otherwise be some stark subject matter. I chuckled a bit when Candace was stuffing food in her mouth and confessed to being huge hinting at the fact that she simply makes other people see her as thin and attractive. I imagine if given a poll, a good portion of the viewing audience would adore utilizing her power on a day to day basis more so than the power of any other Hero. Or maybe that's just me... I also laughed out loud when Parkman convinced the security guard to let him through the gates by pulling the "you didn't want anyone to find out about the...porn" routine. You could see Parkman struggling to read the guard's thoughts and I found it humorous that he chose an item most guys would have some reservations revealing. Funny stuff. In the real world are you allowed to take people, even kids, with you into a voting booth? Doesn't matter. As everyone speculated in the comments Micah was being utilized by Linderman to manipulate the votes. Just another reason we need to get rid of those stupid E-voting machines... The three deaths in the final fifteen minutes of the episode had me reeling. Bennett breaking out the "your last thought" line was priceless, and a little unexpected. Sylar taking out Ted in typical Sylar fashion was imminent, but that didn't make it any less grotesque watching the forehead slicing. Finally, Linderman's death was spectacular. I've always found D.L.'s power to be interesting, but a bit dull. When Linderman's eyes were bulging I was a bit confused, but then I saw the ginormous hole in the back of his skull and all became clear. Good times. Of course, considering Linderman heals things, it's not too far a stretch to think we'll be seeing him again sometime next season. This was an exceptional entertaining and violent episode and a great lead-in to what will probably be one of the best hours of television all year next week. Can't wait for the finale.
GEEK TALK
After X-Men: The Last Stand, Marvel spokesman Avi Arad had put the brakes on any plans for an X-Men 4 -- much to the relief to anyone who was worried that Brett Ratner was going to return for another film. Instead, fan focus has been directed towards the Wolverine and Magneto solo films. MTV Movie Blog sat down with Arad to talk about the upcoming Magneto prequel recently, and Arad seems enthusiastic about what writer/director David Goyer (Batman Begins) has shown him so far, saying that the script will finally give Magneto,"the origin story he so richly deserves." There is no word yet on who will play the young Magneto, but last year we had received confirmation from X-Men's F/X supervisor John Bruno that Ian McKellen would be in the film in some capactiy -- but despite talk of "de-aging" McKellen for the film, there is no way around hiring a much younger actor. Some sites are already reporting that Justin Chatwin, the star of Goyer's recent film The Invisible, is in talks, but that's all rumor. So far, details are still sketchy on plot detail, and whether 'The Brotherhood', or any other X-Men will be making an appearance in the film. Arad did give some hints of what to expect, saying‚ "Think of meeting him in [the first ‚ X-Men movie] as a young boy in a concentration camp. What happens to his life after the war? If his powers are real or not and the whole journey of his survival as a young man." Magneto is set for release in 2008, so stay tuned for updates as they come my way.
THERE IS A GOD
I am excited. I just learned that a 2-disc special edition of Joss Whedon's "Firefly" spinoff, Serenity, is on the way. And now, because I'm such a pathetic nerd when it comes to this particular TV series / movie, I'm elated to share the news on what'll be included on that dual-platter release (which hits the shelves on August 21). Plus there's some pretty nifty cover art ... but let's focus on the extra goodies right now. Here's what you'll find on the Serenity 2-disc special edition, and I'll italicize the stuff that was not on the single-disc release that you probably already own and have watched about 14 times: Audio commentary with writer/director Joss Whedon, Audio commentary with Whedon and actors Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau and Ron Glass, Joss Whedon introduction, Deleted scenes with optional Whedon words, Extended scenes, Outtakes, Featurettes:"Take a Walk on Serenity" "Green Clan" "We'll Have a Fruity Oaty Good Time!" "A Filmmaker's Journey" "Future History: The Story of Earth That Was" "Re-lighting the Firefly" "What's in a Firefly?"
"Session 416". (Again, the italicized goodies are the "new" ones, unless you own all of the international Serenity DVDs, in which case the second commentary is the only truly NEW item. I think. I'm sure a smarter Browncoat than I will come along and correct any glitches I may have made.) And yes, this is the original theatrical cut: No "added scenes" or "director's cut" gimmickry here. Plus the cover art is pretty damn slick, albeit not exactly what I was expecting.
FOGHAT NEWS
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_report/index.jhtml
Check out this latest video clip from the Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Lot's of Foghat mentions.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1924
Two youths discover a human skull on the banks of the Leine in Hanover, Germany. And although two more skulls are found a month later, police ignore it until a sackful of bones turn up on the riverbank. Dragging the Leine yields another 500 bones, belonging to about 27 victims. Eventually, police arrest Fritz Haarmann for the crimes. He would lure runaway boys back to his apartment, where they would be raped, killed, and cut into steaks. Then the unlicensed butcher would sell the meat as beef on the black market. All told, he killed between 40 and 50 boys.
1974
During a gun battle with members of the Symbionese Liberation Army, the LAPD fires tear gas into their Watts hideout. The canisters ignite a fire which soon consumes the house. Three other SLA members, including kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst, watch the events unfold on TV in their motel room down the street from Disneyland.
1980
A three-day race riot breaks out after an all-white jury acquits four white Miami police officers of killing Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance salesman. The cops had beaten him with their flashlights and billyclubs, and he died in the hospital. 18 fatalities and more than $100 million in property damage are the final result.
1992
Bandleader, accordion player, and soap bubble aficionado Lawrence Welk dies of pneumonia in his beachfront condo in Santa Monica, California.
MOVIE BUZZ
Tintin
Fellow Travelers In a trilogy about the globe-hopping teen detective, Steven Spielberg will direct one of the films and Peter Jackson another. Quentin Tarantino says he wants to do a third one, in which Tintin sits around and talks about old Jonny Quest cartoons for an hour then gets involved in a really cool car chase.
The Dark Knight
Warner Bros. has launched the official logo. Oh, thank God … this time they're using a bat.
Blonde Ambition
In her new trailer, Jessica Simpson stars as a small-town nitwit who moves to the big city, hooks up with a good-looking guy and suddenly becomes popular and successful. Hmmm. That plot didn'twork out so well for her in "Newlyweds".
Psycho/Analysis
A thriller set during the making of Alfred Hitchcock's original Psycho sounds like an interesting idea. The weird thing is that Gus Van Sant is already planning a shot-by-shot remake of it.
Trailer Trash
Inspired by his Thanksgiving segment of Grindhouse, Eli Roth is planning an entire feature of nothing but fake trailers. When asked what an actual trailer to promote a movie of fake trailers would look like, his head exploded.
Point Break 2
The screenwriter of the original film plans to write and direct a sequel. To update it, instead of wearing a Ronald Reagan mask to rob banks, Patrick Swayze will wear a Bill Clinton mask and break into sorority houses to steal the sisters' underwear.
PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN
From the home office in Minneola, Florida, here is the very first Peverett Phile Top Ten.
Top Ten Surprises During Queen Elizabeth The Second's Visit To The White House
10. Main course was something Cheney shot on the lawn
9. President kept asking her if she knows Simon from "American Idol"
8. Instead of white tie and tails, Bush wore his Spider-man costume
7. She never took off her iPod
6. Upon hearing, "The Queen has arrived," Bush said, "McGreevey's here?"
5. While patting down the Queen, security found a box cutter
4. Kept asking to see where Bill and Monica got freaky
3. Festivities included a game of "Sexy Charades"
2. President Bush asked for an interpreter
1. Dinner interrupted when Hillary arrived to measure for new drapes
Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. Merch is being planned, and we grow nearer and nearer to hit 2000 views. When I see the Shrek movie this weekend I will post a review in a Peverett Phile Extra entry. The Phile will be back next Thursday and through June it'll be updated on Sunday's 'cause of Star Wars Weekends. Spread the word, not the turd.
In a new interview, actress Ellen Barkin says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have sex before dinner to see if it’s worth going to dinner. Meanwhile, Kirstie Alley says that when she’s dating a new guy, she likes to have dinner before dinner. Miami was voted the worst road rage state. You have 20 year olds doing 95, and 95 year olds doing 20, that’s why. President Bush was busy over the weekend. In Virginia he attended some big event, and I guess he got up at one point on the spur of the moment and he conducted a 400-piece orchestra. Apparently, it was the first time ever a 400-piece orchestra has ever played "The Wheels on the Bus.” Big news from England. British Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced that he will step down next month. After hearing this President Bush said, "That’s a shame. He’s the only world leader who took the time to learn English.” Anheuser-Bush is being accused of creating a new alcoholic drink designed to appeal to underage drinkers. The critics may have a point: The new drink is called Harry Potter and the Malt Liquor. Wal-Mart has announced they’re going to open health clinics in some of their stores. Wal-Mart health clinics. Wal-Mart’s health clinics are for those people who don’t want to spend money on those fancy K-Mart doctors. Jessica Simpson announced that she has to avoid eating dairy products because, this is her quote, "It makes me emit gas from all ends.” It’s all in her new book, "Just in Case You Thought I was Hot.” Republican presidential candidate Duncan Hunter revealed that he drives a Chevy Suburban with 274,000 miles on it. Despite all those miles, the Suburban has a much better chance of making it to the ’08 election than Duncan Hunter.
Okay, now for a new feature on the Phile called...
TV MILF'S
Sam Taggart from "ER" played by: Linda Cardellini. Sam takes a no-nonsense, tough love approach when dealing with her patients, her son and her lovers. She's got a troubled past and an uncertain future, making her one of the most complex TV moms today. Plus, she makes nurse scrubs look super-sexy.
NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS
A man who spent his lifesavings after being told he had months to live is seeking compensation after doctors in Britain conceded they had got the diagnosis wrong. John Brandrick, 62, was told two years ago that he had terminal pancreatic cancer. He decided to spend his remaining time in style, quitting his job and spending his savings on hotels, restaurants and holidays. A year later, doctors at the Royal Cornwall Hospital in southwest England revised their diagnosis: Brandrick was suffering from pancreatitis, a nonfatal ailment. "My life has been turned upside down by this," Brandrick said. "I was told certainly, by the doctor, that I had cancer, and from that day I lived life in full. I was told I had limited time to live. I got rid of everything - my car, my clothes, everything." Brandrick said he did not want to take the hospital to court, "but if they have made the wrong decision they should pay me something back." The hospital said there was "no clear evidence of negligence" on its part. "Whilst we do sympathize with Mr. Brandrick's position, clinical review of his case has not revealed that any different diagnosis would have been made at the time based on the same evidence," a spokesman said on customary condition of anonymity.
HEROES
This episode got off to a quick start picking up right where we left off last week with Peter Petrelli on the verge of combustion. Peter nearly had Claire shoot him as they had previously discussed, but fortunately, he seemed to gain control of his newly absorbed power. Which brings me to this question: Why is it Peter can absorb powers by standing next to someone, but Sylar has to "rip your head open" to quote Claire? I'm sure someone will let me know in the comments. I'm guessing it's not just a personal preference. Peter's involvement from this point forward was fairly limited, but we can see from the previews that all hell is going to break loose next week, and Peter and Sylar will have their much anticipated standoff. Nathan Petrelli continues to bug me. Throughout the entire first season he's had several opportunities to be a good person and potentially avert a lot of the chaos that is destined to occur, but he always brushes those opportunities aside and continues forward. Case in point was the conversation that took place when Hiro confronted him on the streets and offered him the chance to not become a bad man. I loved that Hiro called him out on the fact that he's already a bad man. I also liked his repeated cry of "villain, villian, VILLIAN". Nathan is a difficult character to read. There's times I think he's good but more often than not he seems a little evil. I also wonder if he's sincerely happy that his wife is newly mobile. I was surprised she didn't seem to make the connection that Linderman healed her. Let me be the first to say that Hiro's dad is an absolute badass and you could tell Hiro loved discovering this from the cheesy grin on his face when his dad broke out the ninjitsu moves and put the sword to Hiro's throat. I never really suspected that Hiro's dad was anything other than the CEO of a large Japanese company, but it was pretty interesting to learn that he's actually a major player in the Heroes' mythology. I would love to see an entire episode dedicated to his "allies with powers who fought to save the world but lost their way". The entire sequence where Hiro trained with his father was riveting stuff. I'm wondering if Hiro saying "to save what is important I must be strong enough to cut out my own heart" means he will have to perform some form of the sacred Seppuku ritual in his battle with Sylar.
It was also cool to see Hiro become proficient with the sword in such a short period of time. The Kaito Nakamura Dojo is truly a center of martial arts excellence. I enjoyed the humor the writers inject into what could otherwise be some stark subject matter. I chuckled a bit when Candace was stuffing food in her mouth and confessed to being huge hinting at the fact that she simply makes other people see her as thin and attractive. I imagine if given a poll, a good portion of the viewing audience would adore utilizing her power on a day to day basis more so than the power of any other Hero. Or maybe that's just me... I also laughed out loud when Parkman convinced the security guard to let him through the gates by pulling the "you didn't want anyone to find out about the...porn" routine. You could see Parkman struggling to read the guard's thoughts and I found it humorous that he chose an item most guys would have some reservations revealing. Funny stuff. In the real world are you allowed to take people, even kids, with you into a voting booth? Doesn't matter. As everyone speculated in the comments Micah was being utilized by Linderman to manipulate the votes. Just another reason we need to get rid of those stupid E-voting machines... The three deaths in the final fifteen minutes of the episode had me reeling. Bennett breaking out the "your last thought" line was priceless, and a little unexpected. Sylar taking out Ted in typical Sylar fashion was imminent, but that didn't make it any less grotesque watching the forehead slicing. Finally, Linderman's death was spectacular. I've always found D.L.'s power to be interesting, but a bit dull. When Linderman's eyes were bulging I was a bit confused, but then I saw the ginormous hole in the back of his skull and all became clear. Good times. Of course, considering Linderman heals things, it's not too far a stretch to think we'll be seeing him again sometime next season. This was an exceptional entertaining and violent episode and a great lead-in to what will probably be one of the best hours of television all year next week. Can't wait for the finale.
GEEK TALK
After X-Men: The Last Stand, Marvel spokesman Avi Arad had put the brakes on any plans for an X-Men 4 -- much to the relief to anyone who was worried that Brett Ratner was going to return for another film. Instead, fan focus has been directed towards the Wolverine and Magneto solo films. MTV Movie Blog sat down with Arad to talk about the upcoming Magneto prequel recently, and Arad seems enthusiastic about what writer/director David Goyer (Batman Begins) has shown him so far, saying that the script will finally give Magneto,"the origin story he so richly deserves." There is no word yet on who will play the young Magneto, but last year we had received confirmation from X-Men's F/X supervisor John Bruno that Ian McKellen would be in the film in some capactiy -- but despite talk of "de-aging" McKellen for the film, there is no way around hiring a much younger actor. Some sites are already reporting that Justin Chatwin, the star of Goyer's recent film The Invisible, is in talks, but that's all rumor. So far, details are still sketchy on plot detail, and whether 'The Brotherhood', or any other X-Men will be making an appearance in the film. Arad did give some hints of what to expect, saying‚ "Think of meeting him in [the first ‚ X-Men movie] as a young boy in a concentration camp. What happens to his life after the war? If his powers are real or not and the whole journey of his survival as a young man." Magneto is set for release in 2008, so stay tuned for updates as they come my way.
THERE IS A GOD
I am excited. I just learned that a 2-disc special edition of Joss Whedon's "Firefly" spinoff, Serenity, is on the way. And now, because I'm such a pathetic nerd when it comes to this particular TV series / movie, I'm elated to share the news on what'll be included on that dual-platter release (which hits the shelves on August 21). Plus there's some pretty nifty cover art ... but let's focus on the extra goodies right now. Here's what you'll find on the Serenity 2-disc special edition, and I'll italicize the stuff that was not on the single-disc release that you probably already own and have watched about 14 times: Audio commentary with writer/director Joss Whedon, Audio commentary with Whedon and actors Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Summer Glau and Ron Glass, Joss Whedon introduction, Deleted scenes with optional Whedon words, Extended scenes, Outtakes, Featurettes:"Take a Walk on Serenity" "Green Clan" "We'll Have a Fruity Oaty Good Time!" "A Filmmaker's Journey" "Future History: The Story of Earth That Was" "Re-lighting the Firefly" "What's in a Firefly?"
"Session 416". (Again, the italicized goodies are the "new" ones, unless you own all of the international Serenity DVDs, in which case the second commentary is the only truly NEW item. I think. I'm sure a smarter Browncoat than I will come along and correct any glitches I may have made.) And yes, this is the original theatrical cut: No "added scenes" or "director's cut" gimmickry here. Plus the cover art is pretty damn slick, albeit not exactly what I was expecting.
FOGHAT NEWS
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_report/index.jhtml
Check out this latest video clip from the Colbert Report on Comedy Central. Lot's of Foghat mentions.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1924
Two youths discover a human skull on the banks of the Leine in Hanover, Germany. And although two more skulls are found a month later, police ignore it until a sackful of bones turn up on the riverbank. Dragging the Leine yields another 500 bones, belonging to about 27 victims. Eventually, police arrest Fritz Haarmann for the crimes. He would lure runaway boys back to his apartment, where they would be raped, killed, and cut into steaks. Then the unlicensed butcher would sell the meat as beef on the black market. All told, he killed between 40 and 50 boys.
1974
During a gun battle with members of the Symbionese Liberation Army, the LAPD fires tear gas into their Watts hideout. The canisters ignite a fire which soon consumes the house. Three other SLA members, including kidnapped heiress Patty Hearst, watch the events unfold on TV in their motel room down the street from Disneyland.
1980
A three-day race riot breaks out after an all-white jury acquits four white Miami police officers of killing Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance salesman. The cops had beaten him with their flashlights and billyclubs, and he died in the hospital. 18 fatalities and more than $100 million in property damage are the final result.
1992
Bandleader, accordion player, and soap bubble aficionado Lawrence Welk dies of pneumonia in his beachfront condo in Santa Monica, California.
MOVIE BUZZ
Tintin
Fellow Travelers In a trilogy about the globe-hopping teen detective, Steven Spielberg will direct one of the films and Peter Jackson another. Quentin Tarantino says he wants to do a third one, in which Tintin sits around and talks about old Jonny Quest cartoons for an hour then gets involved in a really cool car chase.
The Dark Knight
Warner Bros. has launched the official logo. Oh, thank God … this time they're using a bat.
Blonde Ambition
In her new trailer, Jessica Simpson stars as a small-town nitwit who moves to the big city, hooks up with a good-looking guy and suddenly becomes popular and successful. Hmmm. That plot didn'twork out so well for her in "Newlyweds".
Psycho/Analysis
A thriller set during the making of Alfred Hitchcock's original Psycho sounds like an interesting idea. The weird thing is that Gus Van Sant is already planning a shot-by-shot remake of it.
Trailer Trash
Inspired by his Thanksgiving segment of Grindhouse, Eli Roth is planning an entire feature of nothing but fake trailers. When asked what an actual trailer to promote a movie of fake trailers would look like, his head exploded.
Point Break 2
The screenwriter of the original film plans to write and direct a sequel. To update it, instead of wearing a Ronald Reagan mask to rob banks, Patrick Swayze will wear a Bill Clinton mask and break into sorority houses to steal the sisters' underwear.
PEVERETT PHILE TOP TEN
From the home office in Minneola, Florida, here is the very first Peverett Phile Top Ten.
Top Ten Surprises During Queen Elizabeth The Second's Visit To The White House
10. Main course was something Cheney shot on the lawn
9. President kept asking her if she knows Simon from "American Idol"
8. Instead of white tie and tails, Bush wore his Spider-man costume
7. She never took off her iPod
6. Upon hearing, "The Queen has arrived," Bush said, "McGreevey's here?"
5. While patting down the Queen, security found a box cutter
4. Kept asking to see where Bill and Monica got freaky
3. Festivities included a game of "Sexy Charades"
2. President Bush asked for an interpreter
1. Dinner interrupted when Hillary arrived to measure for new drapes
Well, that's it for another entry of the Phile. Merch is being planned, and we grow nearer and nearer to hit 2000 views. When I see the Shrek movie this weekend I will post a review in a Peverett Phile Extra entry. The Phile will be back next Thursday and through June it'll be updated on Sunday's 'cause of Star Wars Weekends. Spread the word, not the turd.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Shouldn't You Be In The Kitchen?
Hello, welcome to another entry of the Peverett Phile. So, tonight we went to see Logan in "Aesop's Funny Tales", the school play he was in, and Friendly's for dinner. We came home, I played psp and went to bed. Something was in the back of my mind that I forgot to do today. I DVR'ed "Survivor" and "ER" so that wasn't it. What did I forget to do?
I had no idea when it hit me. The PHILE!!! I was off from work today 'cause of Logan's piano recital and play, and I forgot it was Thursday. Anyway, so here I am, phans. It was a beautiful day, or as Al Gore calls it, "The last gasp of a dying planet."
Here’s how nice it was: It was so nice today that Spider-Man was having "flies a la mode.” O.J. Simpson was at the Kentucky Derby. Paris Hilton is in prison. O.J. is still out there running around. Something’s wrong. Vice President Dick Cheney is on a tour of the Middle East. He’s very popular over there; he’s known as "Lawrence of arrhythmia.” Queen Elizabeth has been in our country. Earlier this week, President Bush hosted a state dinner in Queen Elizabeth’s honor. The guests included Trent Lott, Elisabeth Hasselbeck from "The View,” and the winning jockey from the Kentucky Derby. Which explains why the queen was overheard saying, "This party bites the big one.” In Iran, President Ahmadinejad is apparently so unpopular, the parliament has voted to take away his power and shorten his term. When he heard this, President Bush said, "That lucky bastard.” Kind of an odd story: the Milwaukee Brewers offered all fans, who attended the game the other night, a free rectal examine. To makes things worse, it was also free bat night. Former President Bill Clinton wrote the clues for a New York Times crossword puzzle. Which explains why the clue for No. 9 down is, "synonym for pain in the ass, rhyming with ‘millary.’” Donald Trump in the news. Donald Trump announced he is coming out with his own line of Trump steaks. Trump steaks. His steaks come in three sizes: large, extra large, and Rosie O’Donnell. A pilot who is blind flew half way around the world and landed his plane in Sydney Australia. At one point the blind pilot announced to the passengers, "Look out the left side of the plane, and tell me what you see.” The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Oh sure, when she does it, it’s OK.” How many of you saw the Republican presidential debate? How many of you? That's right. There are 10 republicans who want to be president of the United States. Did you see them? I mean, they look like guys waiting to tee off at a restricted country club. Here's the kind of thing I can't get enough of: There's a brand new book out, and it says Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says she has a crush on President Bush. Well, sure, who doesn't? I don't know if you know this, but right now, Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, is in the grips, in the throes of a big sex scandal, a big prostitution ring sex scandal. High-powered politicians going to visit prostitutes – were you aware of this? Oh, yeah, and the woman who ran the operation, the 'D.C. Madam' is what they are calling her … they had a slogan. Their call girl agency had a slogan down there in Washington, D.C., and the slogan was, 'we take care of you below the Beltway.' Finally, have you heard about Ty
Pennington's new show? "Extreme Hangover.”
NUTTED BY REALITY
After “28 days, five continents, and more than 45,000 miles,” as Phil Keoghan said, "The Amazing Race 1" limped to a drama-less conclusion. The final three teams ended up on the same final flight from Hawaii, so the race was really just a cab ride, a 10-minute challenge, a cab ride, and a brief run. The teams finished in the same order they left the challenge, leaving no suspense.With two all-female teams in the final three, the race seemed ready to have its first male-less winning team. Instead, Eric and Danielle won, having arrived at the challenge first. Recapping the season, Phil said, “Eric tried to dominate Danielle,” which turned out to work better than it did with Jeremy.
“I owe my life to you if you can do this,” Mirna told an airline representative, who got them a seat on an earlier flight. Something tells me she won’t make good on her promise, although we’d have great fun watching Mirna live her life as an indentured servant.
“Charla and Mirna have been known to snag great flights that no one else found out about,” one of the blondes said, and then along with Danielle and Eric, they searched their plane for Charla and Mirna. I think they missed a great chance for comedy here; they should have looked in the overhead compartments and in the seat-back pockets.
Running along a rocky beach, Mirna screamed, “Charla, you have to run. You have to run, it’s a race!” Oh, so that’s why the show is called The Amazing Race. Thanks, Mirna!
Teams had to paddle kayaks out to a shipwreck against violent waves, which was a pretty dramatic challenge. One of the blondes thought the task would be easier if they climbed out of their kayak and walked it to the buoy, and thus began their first real meltdown fight of the season.
They made up quickly, however, and as they got to the airport, one blonde said, “I wonder if there’s an area where you buy tickets.” Their last flight on two seasons of the race and they still have no idea what happens at an airport.
“It’s either a million bucks or nothing,” Eric said. I choose nothing.
Mirna told a cab driver, “this is just a crazy adventure and you’re part of it.” Except for, you know, the $1 million prize and fame and all.
“This is worth a $1 million to us, literally,” the blondes told a cab driver. Again, way to encourage someone who’s actually working for their money to help you out.
Their final task had the teams opening hotel safes using a combination set by their partner. But there was a 10 minute time limit; if they didn’t figure out the combination during the 10 minutes, they were allowed to leave. That made little sense—until we realized that the next clue sent them to the finish line. In other words, producers wanted to ensure some drama and tension. But they failed, because the teams checked in the same order as they left the final task.
Rob stood at the finish line smiling but still looking kind of pissed and a little fat.
Eric and Danielle checked in first and claimed the $1 million. On second thought, who says an all-girl team has never won The Amazing Race?
Phil handed Eric a cell phone and said, “you guys can call your family.” Eric found himself talking to our old friend Jeremy, who used his few seconds of airtime to make a homoerotic reference and suggest that the two are actually a couple: “Yeah, yeah, I’m rich, biotch. Dude, I’m going to give you some spankings when I get home.”
“I guess opposites attract, and in this case, our opposites got us, you know, throughout the race,” Danielle said, which in light of Jeremy’s comments seemed kind of sad. She never had a chance, but at least she has $500,000.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1924
In perhaps the single worst mistake in the history of crime fighting, Attorney General Harlan Fiske Stone selects J. Edgar Hoover to head the Bureau of Investigation, later known as the FBI. He will remain at the post until his death 48 years later.
1933
Joseph Goebbels presides over a public book burning in Berlin, which destroys more than 20,000 volumes. The collection includes books by Einstein and Freud. During the bibliocaust, Goebbels declares: "We have directed our dealings against the un-German spirit; consign everything un-German to the fire."
1941
Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, DeputyFuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland. When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.
1969
The Battle of Dong Ap Bia begins with an assault on Hill 937. It will ultimately become known as Hamburger Hill.
1977
Joan Crawford succumbs to stomach cancer at the age of 73. In the early days of her career, Crawford had performed in several stag films, and later spent a considerable sum buying back the prints to destroy them.
1993
In the worst manufacturing plant fire in history, 188 employees, most of them young women, burn to death in a doll factory in Bangkok, Thailand. The management had locked the doors, so the workers could produce their Bart Simpson dolls without any distractions.
1994
Former building contractor, children's party clown, and jailhouse artist John Wayne Gacy is executed by lethal injection. Police found 28 shallow graves in the crawlspace beneath Gacy's house in 1978. After a dinner which included fried chicken, fried shrimp, and french fries, Gacy is strapped to a gurney. When asked if he has any last words, the serial killer obliges with: "Kiss my ass."
1994
300 active-duty Marines stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms receive a 46-question, multiple-choice survey. Given a hypothetical situation, more than a quarter of respondents indicate their willingness to "fire upon U.S. citizens who refuse or resist confiscation of firearms banned by the U.S. government." On the positive side, almost two-thirds recognize that the order would be patently unconstitutional.
HEROES
Every week I walk away with a bit of a headache after watching "Heroes". It's not a bad headache by any means. It's more of a sensory/information overload kind of a thing since each episode is filled to the brim with so many details. That being said, the show is so entertaining, I find the discomfort completely worth it. This episode found Hiro and Ando back in present day New York City after their foray into the future. They set off to try and accomplish, "the hard part", but little did they know the hard part would have them face to canvas to face with Sylar not once, but twice within the episode. Even more impressive was the fact that the second time Sylar and Hiro were face to face, it was by Hiro's own doing. He's come a long way in a little time or maybe that should be in "a lot of time" if you factor in his time travel. I thought I was going to have a coronary during both instances. Knowing Sylar could hear the faintest of sounds during the first meeting, then seeing a frozen Sylar's beady eye move when he was supposed to be frozen during the second meeting was tension filled television at its finest. Of course, as viewers we realize the show has to play out as Isaac/Sylar/Peter's paintings dictate, so we knew the final battle between Hiro and Sylar would have to wait until another day. Sometimes it's a curse to be in the know on these things. On a side note, I found it interesting when Sylar was in "Geordy La Forge mode" painting the future and we saw that his artistic style was strikingly different than the more cartoon like portraits found in Isaac's paintings. Thought it was a nice little detail the producers threw in there considering most people tend to paint differently. The show is probably full of similar instances I fail to see. The thing I found most intriguing about this episode was the temporary conflict that Sylar went through when he discovered he would potentially be the cause of the Apocalypse in New York City. Sylar was an innocent little watchmaker for like five minutes. Since that point, we've only known him to be evil. The glee that can be seen his eyes every time he kills someone and steals their powers is a testament to this evil. Up until now, he hardly seemed to have a compassionate strand of DNA in his body. To a large extent by episode end, we found out Sylar still epitomizes evil, but for that brief moment it was compelling to witness the moral struggle he appeared to be going through. It was a bit unexpected.
It was also good to see the relationship between Sylar and his mother. It seemed like the show was trying to convey that Sylar's mom pushed him to this point, but I'm not entirely sure it portrayed that convincingly enough.Moving on, I'm the kind of viewer who wants to reject a new character that gets injected into a show this late in the season. Molly was a bit of exception because she has a pretty fascinating power - not to mention a power that I would love to exploit. One word. Paparazzi. If I had this girls powers and I always knew where everyone on the planet resided, I'd be selling pictures of Paris Hilton, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, and the lot of other famous people to Star Magazine left and right. I won't even talk about the torment I'd cause ex-girlfriends...but I digress.We also learned that Mohinder's sister had the exact same nucleotide ailment Molly is suffering from and that Mohinder's father developed a cure but much too late. Then we were hit with the bombshell that Molly is the only one who can stop Sylar. What? Now I find myself wondering who will really end up stopping Sylar. Will it be Hiro? Will it be Peter? Will it be Molly? On top of that, is Peter or Sylar going to go nuclear? l'm also curious to see why Nathan called Linderman saying, "we have a problem" (I knew this guy could never be trusted), how Micah's powers fit into Linderman's plan, and why the shape shifter only now unveiled the fact that she can also make people see what she wants them to see. It seems like that power alone could have been used for some much more nefarious activity throughout the series. Wish it would have come out a little earlier. I'm sure all of those questions and more will be answered next week, and more than likely, a whole slew of new questions will pop up that bring us all back for season two. The final scene where Peter was on the verge of spontaneous combustion with Claire, HRG, Matt, and Ted watching in shock was a nice climatic place to end. If you ask me, the easiest solution at that point would have been for someone to put a cap in Ted's dome, but that's just me. Seems if you killed the guy who causes Peter to explode, Peter wouldn't explode. I'm just saying.
Was anyone able to catch what Sylar painted in blood on the floor of his mother's house? I couldn't make it out, but would love to hear what you guys thought it was.
GEEK TALK
I'm sure you've heard the news by now: The biggest opening of all time now belongs to Spider-Man 3, and by "opening" I also mean A) first day, B) first weekend, and C) a ton of international opening days / weekends. Oh, and D) number of North America theaters. The thing's a mammoth smash, basically, and it was only released three freakin' daysago! Here's a breakdown of the stats, courtesy of the number-crunching geniuses over at BoxOfficeMojo.com: Biggest opening Friday: $59.8 million from 4,252 theaters, which is also a record. Biggest Saturday: $51.3 million. Biggest Sunday: $39.9 million. Biggest IMAX weekend: $4.8 million from 84 theaters. Biggest total weekend: $151.1 million, which is about $10 million higher than the weekend estimates predicted! The movie also broke a record for biggest gap between first and second place, a record I didn't even know people kept track of. (This past weekend's #2 movie was Disturbia, which pulled in about $5.9 million.) The previous record holder for biggest opening day ($55.1 million) and biggest opening weekend ($135 million) was last summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- which means that Jack Sparrow will have a shot at reclaiming the prize in only a few weeks. The third chapter, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, opens on May 25. And for some opening weekend comparisons: The original Spider-Man, which opened on May 3, 2002, snatched just over $114 million from 3,876 theaters in its opening weekend, whereas Spider-Man 2 (which opened on June 30, 2004) pulled in $88.1 million from 4,166 theaters. Final domestic tallies for those flicks were $403 million and $373 million, respectively. Worldwide? Spider-Man made about $821 million while the sequel did about $783 million. Looks like the best flick in the series was also the least profitable. Weird.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: Why are women unlucky? A: Because to get eight inches of sausage, they have to take the whole pig.
MOVIE BUZZ
Austin Powers 4
Mike Myers says he's working on another shagadelic flick, this time told from Dr. Evil's perspective. Originally, that was going to be Mini-Me, but then he realized it would just be shots of everybody's … well, you know …
Shrek 4
Negotiations are under way for yet another sequel, to be directed by Mike Mitchell, who also did the original Deuce Bigalow. Oh, good … I was hoping they'd go for something a bit more highbrow.
Hellraiser
Clive Barker is penning a remake of his horror classic about the doorway to hell. Deuce himself, Rob Schneider, reportedly had hoped to star as the lead demon, but he had to be told they were looking for a different kind of Pinhead.
He-Man
In one of the more bizarre casting rumors, Brad Pitt is being sought after to star in this update of the '80s cartoon. Well, if it doesn't work out, there's always the upcoming Care Bears: Oopsy Does It.
Fantastic Four 3
Director Tim Story is already dropping hints he wants the next FF ep to feature the Black Panther. Jeez, is there ever going to be a sequel where the four leads aren't just supporting characters?
Gemini Man
In this upcoming sci-fi thriller, a geriatric hit man is given a contract on a young clone of himself — and an actual aging action star will be digitally de-aged to play both parts. I think this is great. They can get Sylvester Stallone to hunt down Sylvester Stallone and put him out of his misery.
Poltergeist: In the Shadows
The classic horror flick about a young girl who disappears into her TV is getting an update. Maybe she'll fall into MySpace and get trapped in Satan's friends network.
Mars Needs Moms!
Robert Zemekis is going to direct an adaptation of the Berkeley Breathed children's book about Martians enlisting Earth mothers to take care of them. Angelina Jolie dropped out of the project when she was told it wasn't a documentary.
Wedding Daze
In this new trailer, Isla Fisher accepts a wedding proposal from a guy she doesn't even know, which isn't as weird as her still agreeing to marry Sacha Baron Cohen — and kiss him at the altar, even after seeing his face buried in his male Borat co-star's hairy butt.
Grinder
Ashlee Simpson is set to become the next big-screen scream queen, when she stars in this low-budget horror flick. It's the terrifying tale of a young girl whom everybody accuses of getting a nose job, and when she claims she didn't, nobody believes her.
Flight of the Living Dead
The trailer is either about zombies taking over an airplane or what happens when JetBlue passengers find out their flight's been held on the runway again.
There you have it, kids. It's Friday morning, but the latest entry is filed. There might be two entries next week 'cause of Shrek The Third. We'll see. The Phile has had over 1800 views, so that's very good. We are close to hit 2000. And don't forget, through June the Phile will be updated on Sundays. Spread the word, not the turd. Have a good week.
I had no idea when it hit me. The PHILE!!! I was off from work today 'cause of Logan's piano recital and play, and I forgot it was Thursday. Anyway, so here I am, phans. It was a beautiful day, or as Al Gore calls it, "The last gasp of a dying planet."
Here’s how nice it was: It was so nice today that Spider-Man was having "flies a la mode.” O.J. Simpson was at the Kentucky Derby. Paris Hilton is in prison. O.J. is still out there running around. Something’s wrong. Vice President Dick Cheney is on a tour of the Middle East. He’s very popular over there; he’s known as "Lawrence of arrhythmia.” Queen Elizabeth has been in our country. Earlier this week, President Bush hosted a state dinner in Queen Elizabeth’s honor. The guests included Trent Lott, Elisabeth Hasselbeck from "The View,” and the winning jockey from the Kentucky Derby. Which explains why the queen was overheard saying, "This party bites the big one.” In Iran, President Ahmadinejad is apparently so unpopular, the parliament has voted to take away his power and shorten his term. When he heard this, President Bush said, "That lucky bastard.” Kind of an odd story: the Milwaukee Brewers offered all fans, who attended the game the other night, a free rectal examine. To makes things worse, it was also free bat night. Former President Bill Clinton wrote the clues for a New York Times crossword puzzle. Which explains why the clue for No. 9 down is, "synonym for pain in the ass, rhyming with ‘millary.’” Donald Trump in the news. Donald Trump announced he is coming out with his own line of Trump steaks. Trump steaks. His steaks come in three sizes: large, extra large, and Rosie O’Donnell. A pilot who is blind flew half way around the world and landed his plane in Sydney Australia. At one point the blind pilot announced to the passengers, "Look out the left side of the plane, and tell me what you see.” The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Oh sure, when she does it, it’s OK.” How many of you saw the Republican presidential debate? How many of you? That's right. There are 10 republicans who want to be president of the United States. Did you see them? I mean, they look like guys waiting to tee off at a restricted country club. Here's the kind of thing I can't get enough of: There's a brand new book out, and it says Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says she has a crush on President Bush. Well, sure, who doesn't? I don't know if you know this, but right now, Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, is in the grips, in the throes of a big sex scandal, a big prostitution ring sex scandal. High-powered politicians going to visit prostitutes – were you aware of this? Oh, yeah, and the woman who ran the operation, the 'D.C. Madam' is what they are calling her … they had a slogan. Their call girl agency had a slogan down there in Washington, D.C., and the slogan was, 'we take care of you below the Beltway.' Finally, have you heard about Ty
Pennington's new show? "Extreme Hangover.”
NUTTED BY REALITY
After “28 days, five continents, and more than 45,000 miles,” as Phil Keoghan said, "The Amazing Race 1" limped to a drama-less conclusion. The final three teams ended up on the same final flight from Hawaii, so the race was really just a cab ride, a 10-minute challenge, a cab ride, and a brief run. The teams finished in the same order they left the challenge, leaving no suspense.With two all-female teams in the final three, the race seemed ready to have its first male-less winning team. Instead, Eric and Danielle won, having arrived at the challenge first. Recapping the season, Phil said, “Eric tried to dominate Danielle,” which turned out to work better than it did with Jeremy.
“I owe my life to you if you can do this,” Mirna told an airline representative, who got them a seat on an earlier flight. Something tells me she won’t make good on her promise, although we’d have great fun watching Mirna live her life as an indentured servant.
“Charla and Mirna have been known to snag great flights that no one else found out about,” one of the blondes said, and then along with Danielle and Eric, they searched their plane for Charla and Mirna. I think they missed a great chance for comedy here; they should have looked in the overhead compartments and in the seat-back pockets.
Running along a rocky beach, Mirna screamed, “Charla, you have to run. You have to run, it’s a race!” Oh, so that’s why the show is called The Amazing Race. Thanks, Mirna!
Teams had to paddle kayaks out to a shipwreck against violent waves, which was a pretty dramatic challenge. One of the blondes thought the task would be easier if they climbed out of their kayak and walked it to the buoy, and thus began their first real meltdown fight of the season.
They made up quickly, however, and as they got to the airport, one blonde said, “I wonder if there’s an area where you buy tickets.” Their last flight on two seasons of the race and they still have no idea what happens at an airport.
“It’s either a million bucks or nothing,” Eric said. I choose nothing.
Mirna told a cab driver, “this is just a crazy adventure and you’re part of it.” Except for, you know, the $1 million prize and fame and all.
“This is worth a $1 million to us, literally,” the blondes told a cab driver. Again, way to encourage someone who’s actually working for their money to help you out.
Their final task had the teams opening hotel safes using a combination set by their partner. But there was a 10 minute time limit; if they didn’t figure out the combination during the 10 minutes, they were allowed to leave. That made little sense—until we realized that the next clue sent them to the finish line. In other words, producers wanted to ensure some drama and tension. But they failed, because the teams checked in the same order as they left the final task.
Rob stood at the finish line smiling but still looking kind of pissed and a little fat.
Eric and Danielle checked in first and claimed the $1 million. On second thought, who says an all-girl team has never won The Amazing Race?
Phil handed Eric a cell phone and said, “you guys can call your family.” Eric found himself talking to our old friend Jeremy, who used his few seconds of airtime to make a homoerotic reference and suggest that the two are actually a couple: “Yeah, yeah, I’m rich, biotch. Dude, I’m going to give you some spankings when I get home.”
“I guess opposites attract, and in this case, our opposites got us, you know, throughout the race,” Danielle said, which in light of Jeremy’s comments seemed kind of sad. She never had a chance, but at least she has $500,000.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1924
In perhaps the single worst mistake in the history of crime fighting, Attorney General Harlan Fiske Stone selects J. Edgar Hoover to head the Bureau of Investigation, later known as the FBI. He will remain at the post until his death 48 years later.
1933
Joseph Goebbels presides over a public book burning in Berlin, which destroys more than 20,000 volumes. The collection includes books by Einstein and Freud. During the bibliocaust, Goebbels declares: "We have directed our dealings against the un-German spirit; consign everything un-German to the fire."
1941
Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, DeputyFuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland. When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.
1969
The Battle of Dong Ap Bia begins with an assault on Hill 937. It will ultimately become known as Hamburger Hill.
1977
Joan Crawford succumbs to stomach cancer at the age of 73. In the early days of her career, Crawford had performed in several stag films, and later spent a considerable sum buying back the prints to destroy them.
1993
In the worst manufacturing plant fire in history, 188 employees, most of them young women, burn to death in a doll factory in Bangkok, Thailand. The management had locked the doors, so the workers could produce their Bart Simpson dolls without any distractions.
1994
Former building contractor, children's party clown, and jailhouse artist John Wayne Gacy is executed by lethal injection. Police found 28 shallow graves in the crawlspace beneath Gacy's house in 1978. After a dinner which included fried chicken, fried shrimp, and french fries, Gacy is strapped to a gurney. When asked if he has any last words, the serial killer obliges with: "Kiss my ass."
1994
300 active-duty Marines stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms receive a 46-question, multiple-choice survey. Given a hypothetical situation, more than a quarter of respondents indicate their willingness to "fire upon U.S. citizens who refuse or resist confiscation of firearms banned by the U.S. government." On the positive side, almost two-thirds recognize that the order would be patently unconstitutional.
HEROES
Every week I walk away with a bit of a headache after watching "Heroes". It's not a bad headache by any means. It's more of a sensory/information overload kind of a thing since each episode is filled to the brim with so many details. That being said, the show is so entertaining, I find the discomfort completely worth it. This episode found Hiro and Ando back in present day New York City after their foray into the future. They set off to try and accomplish, "the hard part", but little did they know the hard part would have them face to canvas to face with Sylar not once, but twice within the episode. Even more impressive was the fact that the second time Sylar and Hiro were face to face, it was by Hiro's own doing. He's come a long way in a little time or maybe that should be in "a lot of time" if you factor in his time travel. I thought I was going to have a coronary during both instances. Knowing Sylar could hear the faintest of sounds during the first meeting, then seeing a frozen Sylar's beady eye move when he was supposed to be frozen during the second meeting was tension filled television at its finest. Of course, as viewers we realize the show has to play out as Isaac/Sylar/Peter's paintings dictate, so we knew the final battle between Hiro and Sylar would have to wait until another day. Sometimes it's a curse to be in the know on these things. On a side note, I found it interesting when Sylar was in "Geordy La Forge mode" painting the future and we saw that his artistic style was strikingly different than the more cartoon like portraits found in Isaac's paintings. Thought it was a nice little detail the producers threw in there considering most people tend to paint differently. The show is probably full of similar instances I fail to see. The thing I found most intriguing about this episode was the temporary conflict that Sylar went through when he discovered he would potentially be the cause of the Apocalypse in New York City. Sylar was an innocent little watchmaker for like five minutes. Since that point, we've only known him to be evil. The glee that can be seen his eyes every time he kills someone and steals their powers is a testament to this evil. Up until now, he hardly seemed to have a compassionate strand of DNA in his body. To a large extent by episode end, we found out Sylar still epitomizes evil, but for that brief moment it was compelling to witness the moral struggle he appeared to be going through. It was a bit unexpected.
It was also good to see the relationship between Sylar and his mother. It seemed like the show was trying to convey that Sylar's mom pushed him to this point, but I'm not entirely sure it portrayed that convincingly enough.Moving on, I'm the kind of viewer who wants to reject a new character that gets injected into a show this late in the season. Molly was a bit of exception because she has a pretty fascinating power - not to mention a power that I would love to exploit. One word. Paparazzi. If I had this girls powers and I always knew where everyone on the planet resided, I'd be selling pictures of Paris Hilton, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, and the lot of other famous people to Star Magazine left and right. I won't even talk about the torment I'd cause ex-girlfriends...but I digress.We also learned that Mohinder's sister had the exact same nucleotide ailment Molly is suffering from and that Mohinder's father developed a cure but much too late. Then we were hit with the bombshell that Molly is the only one who can stop Sylar. What? Now I find myself wondering who will really end up stopping Sylar. Will it be Hiro? Will it be Peter? Will it be Molly? On top of that, is Peter or Sylar going to go nuclear? l'm also curious to see why Nathan called Linderman saying, "we have a problem" (I knew this guy could never be trusted), how Micah's powers fit into Linderman's plan, and why the shape shifter only now unveiled the fact that she can also make people see what she wants them to see. It seems like that power alone could have been used for some much more nefarious activity throughout the series. Wish it would have come out a little earlier. I'm sure all of those questions and more will be answered next week, and more than likely, a whole slew of new questions will pop up that bring us all back for season two. The final scene where Peter was on the verge of spontaneous combustion with Claire, HRG, Matt, and Ted watching in shock was a nice climatic place to end. If you ask me, the easiest solution at that point would have been for someone to put a cap in Ted's dome, but that's just me. Seems if you killed the guy who causes Peter to explode, Peter wouldn't explode. I'm just saying.
Was anyone able to catch what Sylar painted in blood on the floor of his mother's house? I couldn't make it out, but would love to hear what you guys thought it was.
GEEK TALK
I'm sure you've heard the news by now: The biggest opening of all time now belongs to Spider-Man 3, and by "opening" I also mean A) first day, B) first weekend, and C) a ton of international opening days / weekends. Oh, and D) number of North America theaters. The thing's a mammoth smash, basically, and it was only released three freakin' daysago! Here's a breakdown of the stats, courtesy of the number-crunching geniuses over at BoxOfficeMojo.com: Biggest opening Friday: $59.8 million from 4,252 theaters, which is also a record. Biggest Saturday: $51.3 million. Biggest Sunday: $39.9 million. Biggest IMAX weekend: $4.8 million from 84 theaters. Biggest total weekend: $151.1 million, which is about $10 million higher than the weekend estimates predicted! The movie also broke a record for biggest gap between first and second place, a record I didn't even know people kept track of. (This past weekend's #2 movie was Disturbia, which pulled in about $5.9 million.) The previous record holder for biggest opening day ($55.1 million) and biggest opening weekend ($135 million) was last summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- which means that Jack Sparrow will have a shot at reclaiming the prize in only a few weeks. The third chapter, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, opens on May 25. And for some opening weekend comparisons: The original Spider-Man, which opened on May 3, 2002, snatched just over $114 million from 3,876 theaters in its opening weekend, whereas Spider-Man 2 (which opened on June 30, 2004) pulled in $88.1 million from 4,166 theaters. Final domestic tallies for those flicks were $403 million and $373 million, respectively. Worldwide? Spider-Man made about $821 million while the sequel did about $783 million. Looks like the best flick in the series was also the least profitable. Weird.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: Why are women unlucky? A: Because to get eight inches of sausage, they have to take the whole pig.
MOVIE BUZZ
Austin Powers 4
Mike Myers says he's working on another shagadelic flick, this time told from Dr. Evil's perspective. Originally, that was going to be Mini-Me, but then he realized it would just be shots of everybody's … well, you know …
Shrek 4
Negotiations are under way for yet another sequel, to be directed by Mike Mitchell, who also did the original Deuce Bigalow. Oh, good … I was hoping they'd go for something a bit more highbrow.
Hellraiser
Clive Barker is penning a remake of his horror classic about the doorway to hell. Deuce himself, Rob Schneider, reportedly had hoped to star as the lead demon, but he had to be told they were looking for a different kind of Pinhead.
He-Man
In one of the more bizarre casting rumors, Brad Pitt is being sought after to star in this update of the '80s cartoon. Well, if it doesn't work out, there's always the upcoming Care Bears: Oopsy Does It.
Fantastic Four 3
Director Tim Story is already dropping hints he wants the next FF ep to feature the Black Panther. Jeez, is there ever going to be a sequel where the four leads aren't just supporting characters?
Gemini Man
In this upcoming sci-fi thriller, a geriatric hit man is given a contract on a young clone of himself — and an actual aging action star will be digitally de-aged to play both parts. I think this is great. They can get Sylvester Stallone to hunt down Sylvester Stallone and put him out of his misery.
Poltergeist: In the Shadows
The classic horror flick about a young girl who disappears into her TV is getting an update. Maybe she'll fall into MySpace and get trapped in Satan's friends network.
Mars Needs Moms!
Robert Zemekis is going to direct an adaptation of the Berkeley Breathed children's book about Martians enlisting Earth mothers to take care of them. Angelina Jolie dropped out of the project when she was told it wasn't a documentary.
Wedding Daze
In this new trailer, Isla Fisher accepts a wedding proposal from a guy she doesn't even know, which isn't as weird as her still agreeing to marry Sacha Baron Cohen — and kiss him at the altar, even after seeing his face buried in his male Borat co-star's hairy butt.
Grinder
Ashlee Simpson is set to become the next big-screen scream queen, when she stars in this low-budget horror flick. It's the terrifying tale of a young girl whom everybody accuses of getting a nose job, and when she claims she didn't, nobody believes her.
Flight of the Living Dead
The trailer is either about zombies taking over an airplane or what happens when JetBlue passengers find out their flight's been held on the runway again.
There you have it, kids. It's Friday morning, but the latest entry is filed. There might be two entries next week 'cause of Shrek The Third. We'll see. The Phile has had over 1800 views, so that's very good. We are close to hit 2000. And don't forget, through June the Phile will be updated on Sundays. Spread the word, not the turd. Have a good week.
Friday, May 4, 2007
A Peverett Phile Extra: Ode To A Super Hero
Hello, Phile Phans, and welcome to a an extra entry of the Peverett Phile, dedicated to Spider-Man. It's May Movie Month on the Phile, so this should be the first extra entry this month.
SHARPENING AXES
The age of comic-book superheroes began in 1938 with Superman, and for the next 25 years, superstuds were just that: chiseled adults saving the world from catastrophe. Then Spider-Man crawled onto the pages of Marvel Comics, and the first teenage superhero was born. Here now, extracted like lethal venom from the arachnid that punctured Peter Parker, a few red-letter dates in Spidey's 45-year history.
1962
In the late summer of 1962, amidst the tumult of Marilyn Monroe's death and the looming Cuban Missile Crisis, a nerdy teen with the euphonious name of Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive arachnid and morphs into the world's newest superhero: Spider-Man. The webbed one debuts in Marvel Comics' Amazing Fantasy #15, at a whopping price of 12 cents. (Today, you can have it for a mere $42,000.) Stan Lee pens the story, inspired by pulp crimefighter the Spider — and a housefly climbing up a wall.
1963
Six months after his auspicious debut, Spidey gets his own comic. And The Amazing Spider-Man #1 works overtime — it contains two stories featuring the tireless arachnid. In the first, we meet irascible Daily Bugle potentate J. Jonah Jameson, who writes some poison-pen editorials labeling Spidey a freak and a public menace. Worse, after the death of his Uncle Ben, Peter is desperate to make some money to help his Aunt May. Cut to the second tale, in which Spider-Man faces off against the Chameleon and meets other partners in crime(fighting) — the Fantastic Four. Peter thinks he can draw a "top salary" if he makes the four a five by joining up. But he soon learns that the FF, though an equal-opportunity employer, is strictly a nonprofit enterprise!
1963
When you've got a superhero, you need a villain. Spidey gets three in quick succession: The Vulture reared his avaricious talons in The Amazing Spider-Man #2, followed by Dr. Octopus (Doc Ock) in #3 and #4 and the Sandman, also in #4. Rumor has it that Doc Ock, with his snazzy Ray-Bans, was partially inspired by singer Roy Orbison.
1964
Spidey's archenemy the Green Goblin enters the scene in #14. And what an entrance! Speeding along on some half-amped-up broomstick, half Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner, the vengeful Goblin tosses stun-grenades and marshals his minions to put the hurt on Spidey during a movie shoot in New Mexico. And that's just the beginning. During a knock-down battle in a cavern, the webbed wonder runs smack dab into the Incredible Hulk, who isn't in the mood for chitchat.
1966
Just a Guy Named Joe (#38) marks the last issue illustrated by co-creator Steve Ditko. John Romita succeeds Ditko, who goes on to draw stories for The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and the surrealistic Doctor Strange, which strikes a particular chord among college kids who have a penchant for psychedelic drugs.
1966
She's previously only been glimpsed tantalizingly with her face obscured, but #42 marks the first full appearance of Peter's future paramour, Mary Jane Watson. In the comic's now-famous final panel, after finally consenting to a "blind" dinner date with M.J., Peter exclaims: "You mean that's Mary Jane?!!" To which the redheaded bombshell replies: "Face it, Tiger … You just hit the jackpot!"
1967
Spider-Man is reimagined into an animated Saturday-morning cartoon with the catchiest theme song since "Mr. Ed". The series spins for three years and more than 70 episodes. Other animated series follow, one in 1981, which chronicles P.P. as a college lad and another from 1994-1997, with Stan Lee "keeping it real" for fans as an exec producer.
1967
The rogue's gallery just keeps getting thicker. In #50, we're introduced to the Kingpin, who "crosses over" and becomes a major villain in the Daredevil saga and perhaps the greatest criminal mind in the whole Marvel galaxy of supervillains. This landmark issue also features one of Spidey's greatest covers: Parker, with eyes downcast after repudiating his super alter ego, shambles into the foreground, while a large image of Spidey hovers in the background like a memory he'll never outrun.
1971
The U.S. Dept. of Health, Education and Welfare queries Stan Lee about concocting a cautionary tale of drug abuse that will resonate with youngsters. Lee enthusiastically writes a three-part story arc (#96-#98). In a case of not seeing the forest for the trees, the Comics Code Authority refuses to approve the story because of the sheer presence of narcotics (the anti-drug context is irrelevant to them). Marvel publisher Martin Goodman gives Lee the green light to print the story sans CCA approval, and the issue is a big hit.
1973
In #121-#122 a major character is killed, something exceedingly rare in the comic-book realm at the time. Peter's first gal-pal, the comely Gwen Stacy, gets tossed off a bridge by the Goblin, and in an effort to break her fall with a quickly spun web, Spidey breaks her neck instead. The Goblin is to blame for sure, but Peter is wracked with guilt.
1974
In a slim, 19-page book (#129), a new rogue called the Punisher strikes twice. The vigilante-assassin, modeled after the Dirty Harry and Death Wish movies popular at the time, goes on to star in his own self-titled film in 2004. It features Thomas Jane in the title role, as well as John Travolta and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, but bombs at the box office.
1974
In #136, Harry Osborn proves the old adage, "like father, like son," when he takes up where his dad left off, complete with his pappy's vendetta against Spidey. Thirty years later, Spider-Man 2 depicts this event to near universal acclaim.
1977
Forget for a sec the antiquated blue-screen effects, tilted cameras, dangling wires and archaic stunts, Spider-Man finally transitions from 15 years of print and animation to live action with breathing actors. In a short-lived CBS series that captured fewer ratings than Spidey nabbed criminals, Nicholas Hammond (Friedrich von Trapp for you Sound of Music fans) is your friendly neighborhood web-spinner.
1983
The next iteration of Spidey occurs via the Atari 2600. Fans can now shed their bystander status and participate in the action. Players must scale a building to diffuse explosives and smack down criminals as they pursue the Goblin. Over the years, 10 more video games follow in regular succession.
1984
In The Amazing Spider-Man: Homecoming #252, our preferred arthropod chucks his red and blue spider suit for black togs — as revolutionary and antithetical to the Spider-Man canon as, say, Superman flying capeless. Not everyone loves the change. The suit (which is an alien, actually) fuses with a man named Eddie Brock, and the hybrid will later become the destructive symbiote Venom, which proves to be Spidey's most lethal nemesis yet. The black suit and presence of Venom play very prominently in the film Spider-Man 3.
1988
The Amazing Spider-Man #288 features the first renderings by Todd McFarlane and #300 marks Spidey's 25th anniversary of fighting evil. But really, we all know action is his reward! McFarlane later forms his own production company and creates the occult-themed Spawn, whose first issue sells a record 1.7 million copies.
1993-1997
Comic-book speculating reaches its zenith and starts to implode (like baseball cards before them, the meteoric rise in prices for many early/key issues turned off loyalists). Two-thirds of all comic-book specialty stores close, and numerous publishers go under. Marvel declares bankruptcy in 1997, although it continues publishing. Marvel's brain trust (headed by new owner Ronald Perelman) feels the company can preserve cash flow if it distributes product directly to the market. But as the bottom falls out, Marvel is stuck with a glut of specialty and "collectible" issues that no one covets any more.
2002
After years of false starts, contract lapses and the revolving-door treatment at countless studios, Sony mounts a lavish production (estimated at nearly $140 million) of the Spider-Man epoch. Sam Raimi helms, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco and Willem Dafoe. It breaks the vaunted $100 million barrier faster than any theatrical release before it, setting an all-time single-day earning record at more than $43 million.
2003
MTV enters the lucrative fray with a new animated series that boasts such vocal yokels as Neil Patrick Harris as Peter, Ian Ziering parroting Harry and songstress Lisa Loeb voicing Mary Jane. The episodes are the first to incorporate CGI animation techniques and, following Marvel's lead, the series resurrects a younger (college-age) Peter Parker.
2004
In the much-anticipated sequel, a reluctant Peter dons his superhero togs once again and squares off against Dr. Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina). With umpteen tentacles sprouting from Doc Ock's back, the film wins the Best Special Effects Oscar in a walk.
2005
In a "disassembled" story (Spectacular Spider-Man vol. 2, #15-20), Peter undergoes a transformation that allows him to produce organic web fluid directly from his wrists. Previously, he had invented a chemical polymer compound that he stored in his suit and which allowed him to spin his webs. The one catch to his new natural ability is that it hinges on his health and nutrition, but the bio-webbing capability quickly supplants the homemade mixture.
2006
It had to happen. In the second issue of a limited seven-issue miniseries (Civil War #2), Spidey goes au naturel when he appears at a press conference without his mask. He reveals his true identity as a show of support for the government-sanctioned Superhero Registration Act, which was entered into law to crack down on superhero vigilantes. For fans, the story arc resembles the plotline to X-Men. No matter, the edition quickly sells out.
2007
The third Spidey flick opens May 4 with all the regulars (and Raimi at the helm) returning, plus Topher Grace (Eddie Brock/Venom) and Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy). Budgeted at $240 million, it will be released in China the day before the American premiere to thwart pirated DVD copies from diluting the box-office take.
2008 and Beyond
Will there be a ? The producers say yes. Emphatically. Dunst says she's on board, if Raimi and Maguire are on board. Raimi hasn't said either way, but Tobey has followed up his initial "I'm out" with a less firm, "If whole team wants to get back together, and we feel like we can make a good movie that's worth making, then I'm up for it." Stay tuned …
MOVIE BUZZ
SPIDER-MAN 3
Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard. I could fill this whole entry with plot. Seriously, there is enough stuff going on to make the next couple of sequels. More villains, girlfriends, more emotional weight, more lovey-dovey stuff, more Bruce Campbell, more special effects — just more of everything. You even get two of Spider-Man. And I have to confess: Black-suited, evil Goth Spidey was kind of who I was rooting for. I love these movies. And I can already hear the complaints. That more is less this time around, that it's too much, it's overloaded, overlong, overdone, etc. I even heard someone, on the way out of the screening, say that it was like eating candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I love that one. Because they're right. It is like eating several entire bags of Starburst Fruit Chews. But who wouldn't want to eat candy all day every once in a while? The special effects/action sequences alone are like sugar-filled needles jabbed right into your face. I liked it when Parker became a bad-ass. He fails and ends up looking like one of the stylish '80s drug dealers in Less Than Zero. Or a snarling, angry kitten on Cuteoverload.com spitting at the camera. In any movie not as committed to amped-up fun as this, I'd be annoyed by that. But here it somehow fits right in. From 1 to 10, I give it a 10, and I can't wait to get it on DVD...and UMD.
While I'm at it, here is some other super hero news.
GEEK TALK
Those who were hoping that Jennifer Connelly -- pretty much the one good thing about Ang Lee's 2003 film Hulk -- would somehow make the nimble transition into playing Betty Ross again in the complete re-do version now being prepped can stop their fantasizing. 29-year old Liv Tyler has been cast as Ross, the long-time love interest to Ed Norton's Dr. Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk, which will begin shooting in Toronto this summer. As noted in The Hollywood Reporter, the Ross character has been a fixture of the Hulk comic since 1962; she is a fellow scientist who works with Banner to help him tame the beast within, not always successfully. The HR story also has plot details to reveal: the film will open with Banner and Ross estranged from each other, "but with the pursuit of the Hulk heating up and Banner on the run trying to cure his condition, Ross finds herself swept back into his life." This casting move, coupled with her leading role in the upcoming horror film The Strangers -- a new still from that film was released today, by the way -- suggests Tyler's stock as a leading lady is very much on the rise, which is a trend I support. As for director Louis Letterier, I'm one of those poor, unfortunate souls who still hasn't seen either The Transporter or its sequel Transporter 2, so I'm in no position to comment on whether he deserved to be handed the keys to a high-interest franchise like this, but here's hoping this team that's being assembled makes something interesting out of it. Norton and Tyler are both intriguing actors, and I can imagine that at the very least they'll findsome nice angles for their characters, whether the movie as a whole works or not.
Well, that's about it for this Spider-Man entry of the Phile. The Phile will be back as usual on Thursday the 10th, and th week after that Shrek 3 comes out, so I hope to have an entry dedicated to the Ogre. Until then, spread the word, not the turd. Oh, by the way, I was asked about the Peverett Phile merch on cafepress.com I mentioned a while ago. I am working on it, once I find the font (or phont) I am picturing in my head. And we are over 1800 views! It looks like we might hit 2000 by June.
SHARPENING AXES
The age of comic-book superheroes began in 1938 with Superman, and for the next 25 years, superstuds were just that: chiseled adults saving the world from catastrophe. Then Spider-Man crawled onto the pages of Marvel Comics, and the first teenage superhero was born. Here now, extracted like lethal venom from the arachnid that punctured Peter Parker, a few red-letter dates in Spidey's 45-year history.
1962
In the late summer of 1962, amidst the tumult of Marilyn Monroe's death and the looming Cuban Missile Crisis, a nerdy teen with the euphonious name of Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive arachnid and morphs into the world's newest superhero: Spider-Man. The webbed one debuts in Marvel Comics' Amazing Fantasy #15, at a whopping price of 12 cents. (Today, you can have it for a mere $42,000.) Stan Lee pens the story, inspired by pulp crimefighter the Spider — and a housefly climbing up a wall.
1963
Six months after his auspicious debut, Spidey gets his own comic. And The Amazing Spider-Man #1 works overtime — it contains two stories featuring the tireless arachnid. In the first, we meet irascible Daily Bugle potentate J. Jonah Jameson, who writes some poison-pen editorials labeling Spidey a freak and a public menace. Worse, after the death of his Uncle Ben, Peter is desperate to make some money to help his Aunt May. Cut to the second tale, in which Spider-Man faces off against the Chameleon and meets other partners in crime(fighting) — the Fantastic Four. Peter thinks he can draw a "top salary" if he makes the four a five by joining up. But he soon learns that the FF, though an equal-opportunity employer, is strictly a nonprofit enterprise!
1963
When you've got a superhero, you need a villain. Spidey gets three in quick succession: The Vulture reared his avaricious talons in The Amazing Spider-Man #2, followed by Dr. Octopus (Doc Ock) in #3 and #4 and the Sandman, also in #4. Rumor has it that Doc Ock, with his snazzy Ray-Bans, was partially inspired by singer Roy Orbison.
1964
Spidey's archenemy the Green Goblin enters the scene in #14. And what an entrance! Speeding along on some half-amped-up broomstick, half Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner, the vengeful Goblin tosses stun-grenades and marshals his minions to put the hurt on Spidey during a movie shoot in New Mexico. And that's just the beginning. During a knock-down battle in a cavern, the webbed wonder runs smack dab into the Incredible Hulk, who isn't in the mood for chitchat.
1966
Just a Guy Named Joe (#38) marks the last issue illustrated by co-creator Steve Ditko. John Romita succeeds Ditko, who goes on to draw stories for The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and the surrealistic Doctor Strange, which strikes a particular chord among college kids who have a penchant for psychedelic drugs.
1966
She's previously only been glimpsed tantalizingly with her face obscured, but #42 marks the first full appearance of Peter's future paramour, Mary Jane Watson. In the comic's now-famous final panel, after finally consenting to a "blind" dinner date with M.J., Peter exclaims: "You mean that's Mary Jane?!!" To which the redheaded bombshell replies: "Face it, Tiger … You just hit the jackpot!"
1967
Spider-Man is reimagined into an animated Saturday-morning cartoon with the catchiest theme song since "Mr. Ed". The series spins for three years and more than 70 episodes. Other animated series follow, one in 1981, which chronicles P.P. as a college lad and another from 1994-1997, with Stan Lee "keeping it real" for fans as an exec producer.
1967
The rogue's gallery just keeps getting thicker. In #50, we're introduced to the Kingpin, who "crosses over" and becomes a major villain in the Daredevil saga and perhaps the greatest criminal mind in the whole Marvel galaxy of supervillains. This landmark issue also features one of Spidey's greatest covers: Parker, with eyes downcast after repudiating his super alter ego, shambles into the foreground, while a large image of Spidey hovers in the background like a memory he'll never outrun.
1971
The U.S. Dept. of Health, Education and Welfare queries Stan Lee about concocting a cautionary tale of drug abuse that will resonate with youngsters. Lee enthusiastically writes a three-part story arc (#96-#98). In a case of not seeing the forest for the trees, the Comics Code Authority refuses to approve the story because of the sheer presence of narcotics (the anti-drug context is irrelevant to them). Marvel publisher Martin Goodman gives Lee the green light to print the story sans CCA approval, and the issue is a big hit.
1973
In #121-#122 a major character is killed, something exceedingly rare in the comic-book realm at the time. Peter's first gal-pal, the comely Gwen Stacy, gets tossed off a bridge by the Goblin, and in an effort to break her fall with a quickly spun web, Spidey breaks her neck instead. The Goblin is to blame for sure, but Peter is wracked with guilt.
1974
In a slim, 19-page book (#129), a new rogue called the Punisher strikes twice. The vigilante-assassin, modeled after the Dirty Harry and Death Wish movies popular at the time, goes on to star in his own self-titled film in 2004. It features Thomas Jane in the title role, as well as John Travolta and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, but bombs at the box office.
1974
In #136, Harry Osborn proves the old adage, "like father, like son," when he takes up where his dad left off, complete with his pappy's vendetta against Spidey. Thirty years later, Spider-Man 2 depicts this event to near universal acclaim.
1977
Forget for a sec the antiquated blue-screen effects, tilted cameras, dangling wires and archaic stunts, Spider-Man finally transitions from 15 years of print and animation to live action with breathing actors. In a short-lived CBS series that captured fewer ratings than Spidey nabbed criminals, Nicholas Hammond (Friedrich von Trapp for you Sound of Music fans) is your friendly neighborhood web-spinner.
1983
The next iteration of Spidey occurs via the Atari 2600. Fans can now shed their bystander status and participate in the action. Players must scale a building to diffuse explosives and smack down criminals as they pursue the Goblin. Over the years, 10 more video games follow in regular succession.
1984
In The Amazing Spider-Man: Homecoming #252, our preferred arthropod chucks his red and blue spider suit for black togs — as revolutionary and antithetical to the Spider-Man canon as, say, Superman flying capeless. Not everyone loves the change. The suit (which is an alien, actually) fuses with a man named Eddie Brock, and the hybrid will later become the destructive symbiote Venom, which proves to be Spidey's most lethal nemesis yet. The black suit and presence of Venom play very prominently in the film Spider-Man 3.
1988
The Amazing Spider-Man #288 features the first renderings by Todd McFarlane and #300 marks Spidey's 25th anniversary of fighting evil. But really, we all know action is his reward! McFarlane later forms his own production company and creates the occult-themed Spawn, whose first issue sells a record 1.7 million copies.
1993-1997
Comic-book speculating reaches its zenith and starts to implode (like baseball cards before them, the meteoric rise in prices for many early/key issues turned off loyalists). Two-thirds of all comic-book specialty stores close, and numerous publishers go under. Marvel declares bankruptcy in 1997, although it continues publishing. Marvel's brain trust (headed by new owner Ronald Perelman) feels the company can preserve cash flow if it distributes product directly to the market. But as the bottom falls out, Marvel is stuck with a glut of specialty and "collectible" issues that no one covets any more.
2002
After years of false starts, contract lapses and the revolving-door treatment at countless studios, Sony mounts a lavish production (estimated at nearly $140 million) of the Spider-Man epoch. Sam Raimi helms, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco and Willem Dafoe. It breaks the vaunted $100 million barrier faster than any theatrical release before it, setting an all-time single-day earning record at more than $43 million.
2003
MTV enters the lucrative fray with a new animated series that boasts such vocal yokels as Neil Patrick Harris as Peter, Ian Ziering parroting Harry and songstress Lisa Loeb voicing Mary Jane. The episodes are the first to incorporate CGI animation techniques and, following Marvel's lead, the series resurrects a younger (college-age) Peter Parker.
2004
In the much-anticipated sequel, a reluctant Peter dons his superhero togs once again and squares off against Dr. Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina). With umpteen tentacles sprouting from Doc Ock's back, the film wins the Best Special Effects Oscar in a walk.
2005
In a "disassembled" story (Spectacular Spider-Man vol. 2, #15-20), Peter undergoes a transformation that allows him to produce organic web fluid directly from his wrists. Previously, he had invented a chemical polymer compound that he stored in his suit and which allowed him to spin his webs. The one catch to his new natural ability is that it hinges on his health and nutrition, but the bio-webbing capability quickly supplants the homemade mixture.
2006
It had to happen. In the second issue of a limited seven-issue miniseries (Civil War #2), Spidey goes au naturel when he appears at a press conference without his mask. He reveals his true identity as a show of support for the government-sanctioned Superhero Registration Act, which was entered into law to crack down on superhero vigilantes. For fans, the story arc resembles the plotline to X-Men. No matter, the edition quickly sells out.
2007
The third Spidey flick opens May 4 with all the regulars (and Raimi at the helm) returning, plus Topher Grace (Eddie Brock/Venom) and Bryce Dallas Howard (Gwen Stacy). Budgeted at $240 million, it will be released in China the day before the American premiere to thwart pirated DVD copies from diluting the box-office take.
2008 and Beyond
Will there be a ? The producers say yes. Emphatically. Dunst says she's on board, if Raimi and Maguire are on board. Raimi hasn't said either way, but Tobey has followed up his initial "I'm out" with a less firm, "If whole team wants to get back together, and we feel like we can make a good movie that's worth making, then I'm up for it." Stay tuned …
MOVIE BUZZ
SPIDER-MAN 3
Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, Bryce Dallas Howard. I could fill this whole entry with plot. Seriously, there is enough stuff going on to make the next couple of sequels. More villains, girlfriends, more emotional weight, more lovey-dovey stuff, more Bruce Campbell, more special effects — just more of everything. You even get two of Spider-Man. And I have to confess: Black-suited, evil Goth Spidey was kind of who I was rooting for. I love these movies. And I can already hear the complaints. That more is less this time around, that it's too much, it's overloaded, overlong, overdone, etc. I even heard someone, on the way out of the screening, say that it was like eating candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I love that one. Because they're right. It is like eating several entire bags of Starburst Fruit Chews. But who wouldn't want to eat candy all day every once in a while? The special effects/action sequences alone are like sugar-filled needles jabbed right into your face. I liked it when Parker became a bad-ass. He fails and ends up looking like one of the stylish '80s drug dealers in Less Than Zero. Or a snarling, angry kitten on Cuteoverload.com spitting at the camera. In any movie not as committed to amped-up fun as this, I'd be annoyed by that. But here it somehow fits right in. From 1 to 10, I give it a 10, and I can't wait to get it on DVD...and UMD.
While I'm at it, here is some other super hero news.
GEEK TALK
Those who were hoping that Jennifer Connelly -- pretty much the one good thing about Ang Lee's 2003 film Hulk -- would somehow make the nimble transition into playing Betty Ross again in the complete re-do version now being prepped can stop their fantasizing. 29-year old Liv Tyler has been cast as Ross, the long-time love interest to Ed Norton's Dr. Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk, which will begin shooting in Toronto this summer. As noted in The Hollywood Reporter, the Ross character has been a fixture of the Hulk comic since 1962; she is a fellow scientist who works with Banner to help him tame the beast within, not always successfully. The HR story also has plot details to reveal: the film will open with Banner and Ross estranged from each other, "but with the pursuit of the Hulk heating up and Banner on the run trying to cure his condition, Ross finds herself swept back into his life." This casting move, coupled with her leading role in the upcoming horror film The Strangers -- a new still from that film was released today, by the way -- suggests Tyler's stock as a leading lady is very much on the rise, which is a trend I support. As for director Louis Letterier, I'm one of those poor, unfortunate souls who still hasn't seen either The Transporter or its sequel Transporter 2, so I'm in no position to comment on whether he deserved to be handed the keys to a high-interest franchise like this, but here's hoping this team that's being assembled makes something interesting out of it. Norton and Tyler are both intriguing actors, and I can imagine that at the very least they'll findsome nice angles for their characters, whether the movie as a whole works or not.
Well, that's about it for this Spider-Man entry of the Phile. The Phile will be back as usual on Thursday the 10th, and th week after that Shrek 3 comes out, so I hope to have an entry dedicated to the Ogre. Until then, spread the word, not the turd. Oh, by the way, I was asked about the Peverett Phile merch on cafepress.com I mentioned a while ago. I am working on it, once I find the font (or phont) I am picturing in my head. And we are over 1800 views! It looks like we might hit 2000 by June.
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