Pheaturing Tim Minchin

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. It's August so that means one month to go to the end of the Phile. Stop crying, it'll be okay. In a series of viral clips, the Fox news host Laura Ingraham mocked the police officers who testified before the House select committee investigating the January 6th Capitol riot. Rather than commenting on the attempted insurrection itself, or dialoguing about the traumatic experiences the police officers shared, the host of "The Ingraham Angle" decided to give out mock awards for the "performances" at the hearing. "The theatrics were intended to produce an emotional reaction, logic and facts be damned. It is with that knowledge that we will unveil the Angle Awards for today's best performances," Ingraham said before mocking the police officers. "First, for best use of tears and dramatic pauses in a leading role, we have a tie, and it's between Congressmen (Adam) Kinzinger and (Adam) Schiff." She then went on to show footage of both men making emotional remarks at the hearing, before going on to mock her next victims. "God save us from these third-rate theatrics. Now the award for best use of an exaggeration in a supporting role, the winner is (Capitol Police Sergeant) Aquilino Gonell who thinks the pen is literally mightier than the sword." She showed a clip of Gonell talking about how the rioters had weapons, mentioning how one rioter wielded a pen with the intention of hurting officers. "The award for blatant use of partisan politics when facts fail... the Angle Award goes to Capitol Police officer Harry Dunn," Ingraham continued, showing Dunn's testimony where he said he told rioters about his vote for President Joe Biden. Ingraham sarcastically added, "but it's not about politics at all," before sharing her final awards. "And for best performance in an action role, the winner is [Metropolitan Police Officer] Michael Fanone." The clip showed Fanone slamming his hand down in front of him while making an impassioned appeal. "Too many are now telling me that hell doesn't exist or that hell actually wasn't that bad. The indifference shown to my colleagues is disgraceful." A lot of people responded to Ingraham's display of disrespect, quickly pointing out the hypocrisy of Conservatives trashing police after calling out the Left for doing that. Others were just awe-struck by the pure cruelty. Some people mused that this particular display could lose Ingraham her job, depending on the response of Fox news viewers. Needless to say, there weren't many (if any) positive online responses to Ingraham's display. 

The future sister-in-law of Rep. Matt Gaetz, the Florida congressman under federal investigation for alleged sex crimes, has been workshopping her wedding toast on TikTok. Roxanne Luckey, the sister of Gaetz's fiancée Ginger Luckey, has been making TikToks about his "creepy" behavior, which included a confrontation at Thanksgiving and his bizarre matchmaking attempt. Luckey posted a "storytime" TikTok alleging that Gaetz tried to set her up with his friend in his forties while she was a 19-year-old intern in the Trump White House. "As someone who has personally experienced a ton of creepy old politician men hitting on me when I was underage, and experiencing sexual assault at that age by people of power, it’s very disheartening and I have zero tolerance of people like [Gaetz]," she said. She apologized for calling him a "pedophile," because it is more appropriate to use the term "ephebophile," which applies to adults attracted to teenagers. Luckey told TikTok that when she confronted Gaetz at Thanksgiving, he called her a "narcissist," which is a "typical gaslighting tactic." Luckey responded to comments, calling Gaetz a "master manipulator" who her sister unfortunately believes. In a video posted after the Thanksgiving incident, it appears that the family sided with Gaetz. The Daily Beast got in touch with Ginger Luckey, the future Mrs. Gaetz, who called her sister "mentally unwell." “She has been in therapy for years and our family hopes that after receiving in-patient mental health treatment, she will overcome the tendency she has repeatedly shown to engage in destructive behavior," Ginger wrote in a text message. Roxanne Luckey's TikTok has since been set to private. 

Pink is speaking out against sexism in sports and has offered to pay the fines for the Norwegian women's beach handball team who were fined for wearing shorts to a game in protest of "sexist" uniform rules. The team was fined 150 Euros per player, 1500 in total, last week, after they wore shorts instead of bikini bottoms at the European championships earlier this month. The European Handball Federation issued the fines on the grounds that their shorts were "improper clothing" and went against International Handball Federation regulations. This is what they wore...

And this is what they're required to wear...

The singer Pink posted this tweet, praising the team for taking a stand and offering to pay their fines, which add up to about $1700.

After the news about the fines got viral attention online, European Handball Federation President Michael Wiederer said he'll try to change the rules regarding the women’s uniforms. In a statement, he said, "I can confirm that the EHF will do all it can to ensure that a change of athlete uniform regulations can be implemented. Significant efforts will be made in order to further promote the sport in the best way possible for everyone, regardless of gender." 

Look away, Bills Mafia. The debate on whether professional sports owners should privately pay for their own stadiums or use public funding is one that can go on forever, but it seems as if the Bills are with the thinking of the latter. The Buffalo Bills have spent time at the New York State Capital of Albany recently speaking with the state and Erie County on a pitch to build a new home for the city’s beloved team, and have pitched a $1.5 billion proposal for a new stadium in Orchard Park neighboring the team’s existing facility. That $1.5 billion would come straight from the taxpayers. Though the team has reportedly made no “overt threats” per The Buffalo News, ownership has reportedly relayed the message that if they do not get granted the full public funding, there are plenty of other cities elsewhere that desire an NFL franchise and would pay handsomely for it. 

It looks like Scarlett Johansson's lawsuit against Disney has made other major stars think twice about working for Disney, the greatest company to work for ever. For instance, Emma Stone is reportedly reconsidering going through with the Cruella sequel after the first movie got the same deal as Black Widow. Cruella was originally set to premiere in December 2020 but needed to be pushed back due to COVID-19. Disney ultimately decided that the live-action prequel to 101 Dalmatians would be released both in theaters and on Disney+ in May this year. We all know that the same thing happened to Black Widow despite Marvel's insistence that their film should get a full theatrical release. With that in mind, it only makes sense that Stone is now thinking about taking the same actions as Johansson. The "What I'm Hearing" newsletter shares interesting details about other stars thinking about suing Disney as well. The report states that Stone is "weighing her options" while Emily Blunt "is likely watching the Jungle Cruise numbers closely this weekend." Blunt had previously expressed uncertainty over her Disney flick being released digitally when her other project The Quiet Place II did so well without the streaming option. There is a possibility that the Devil Wears Prada star will spring a similar lawsuit if Jungle Cruise suffers at the box office. Johansson's lawsuit states that Disney breached her contract by giving Black Widow a digital release. The streaming option reportedly affected her pay from the back-end box office receipts.

Instead of doing this blog I should be listening to this record...

Ummm... nope. If I had a TADIS I would go to Balloonfest '86...

In 1986, United Way of Cleveland released nearly 1.5 million balloons at Balloonfest ’86. Lawsuits from traffic accidents, an airport shutdown, and interference with a Coast Guard rescue operation led to a net loss for the organization. Ever see those panhandlers on the side of the street with their cardboard signs? Someone of them get creative...

Have you seen the new He-Man show on Netflix? I don't know why they changed this look and name...

Hahahahahaha. Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like this hand lotion for example...

 Because women can't hold the big tube? Remember being a teenager and routinely sleeping until the late afternoon on weekends, because you had to get up so freaking early for school all week? Most people can sympathize with sleep-deprived teens. But one mom has instituted a rule in her house stating that her sons have to wake up by 10 a.m. every morning, and she's wondering if this is too strict. She emailed the Phile to ask for advice. She explains there are very few exceptions to the rule...

"I have two children and have a non-negotiable rule in my household that they have to be up at 10:00 a.m. The only exceptions for this rule is if they are sick or its their birthday. This leads to a lot of grumbling from my kids as I often times have to forcibly wake them up. I was telling my brother this rule recently and he said that I was being an asshole. He said that teenage boys will often sleep extremely late and me forcing them to get up early is preventing them from getting their proper amount of sleep. In my opinion, I’m instilling discipline in my boys and making them get up at a reasonable time (10:00 a.m. is not too early). However, these comments from my brother has me second guessing myself. So Jason, am I wrong?" Ten a.m.? My mum used got get me up by 8 calling me a "lazy git" You need to let your children sleep. It doesn’t seem like there is a point to this rule besides “because I said so” which is a bad argument. I’d also recommend checking out some info on sleep. Teenagers tend to need more sleep than adults and are more likely to be night owls (which also makes them more likely to sleep in). Why not just let them get some sleep? Kids need their sleep. This idea that everyone has to wake up early everyday of their entire life is ridiculous. As long as they behave well and do well in school, let them sleep in. There actually are studies about the surprising amount of sleep teenagers need. There are plenty of ways to instill discipline. It also clearly isn’t instilling any discipline anyway, if it had they would be getting up by themselves at that time rather than you constantly having to enforce it. It’s externally imposed "discipline," it won’t last past your ability to control them. Teens have different sleep schedules than adults do. You are preventing them from getting enough sleep. During the school year, it makes sense to make sure they're out of bed at a reasonable time to get to school. So there you have it. If you have teenage kids, let them sleep. They need it! If you have a problem you want my advice on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

A nice day and the ferry is coming in. 

The 155th and last book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

David will be on the Phile next week I believe. 

Today's guest is an Australian comedian, actor, writer, musician, and songwriter who holds both Australian and British citizenship. His debut album "Apart Together" is available on Amazon, iTunes, and Spotify and on vinyl. Please welcome to the Phile... Tim Minchin.

Me: Hey, Tim, welcome to the Phile. I have been wanting to interview you for so long. How are you? 

Tim: Music nerd! Thanks for having me. 

Me: Haha. I love the new album "Apart Together," sir. You must be proud of it, right? 

Tim: I have no idea how to judge it except on its own terms. Which is something that goes on in my career, I get better. But in terms of the world and what people think of it I am so out of time and out of place. I don't listen to much music and I never made an album before so I'm carrying all these 90s sensibility and shit and I'm kind of shameless. 

Me: How would you describe the record? 

Tim: It's a big record with a lot of instruments and stuff in an era where we hear stuff with fantastic digital solutions. I've just blown all my money on players. 

Me: I didn't realize this was your first studio album, Tim. Is this something you've been hankering to do for a while? 

Tim: Yeah, more than hankering. More like kicking it down the road. It's a project 20 years in the making. Well, 35 years in the making because I started writing songs when I was 10 or whatever like I do. I suppose I thought I'll make records crinkly long before I even dared to think I might do comedy. Not that I really decided to do comedy. I sort of found myself doing it. I was playing in bands and writing original songs from when I was 15 and made an album with my band that was called Arnold when I was about 17. When I say album it was a few mics in a school hall. Then I was in a band called Timmy the Dog in 2000. That record was demo quality but fine. I shopped it around and people took interest and I moved to Melbourne and around that area I changed the name of the band and I was struggling to get anywhere in Melbourne. 

Me: Why were you struggling? 

Tim: Because I was trying to pay bills and I was playing in cover bands. It was that trap I got into. In all of that the thing that I was really earning money doing was being an M.D. for cabaret acts and doing a little theatre and acting. That became my cabaret career and that became my comedy career and I did Matilda. But really I just got distracted and I finally just finished it twenty years later. But now it's a totally different set of songs and who knows. 

Me: So, these are all new songs? 

Tim: I tried to write as much new songs as I could but as I was writing I found myself going well... "Summer Romance" I guess is about two years old "Beautiful Head" the same, both London songs. There's a few others that I didn't record but I still think there's no harm in them and they might have a life. I certainly don't intend to take twenty years to make the next album. I ought to think this has broken the seal and I hope I can just turn around and make a better one without so much hoo-ha. There's a couple of old songs but I've got hundreds. Maybe not hundreds of songs I would proudly release but I've got dozens I could go back and have a look at. I was really trying to reflect the headspace I was in the last couple of years which is a very different headspace from any place I've been before. Just by age and experience and a few batterings and I wanted to try and get that down. 

Me: So, what made you choose piano as your main instrument? 

Tim: Pianos are symbols of status and they're shiny and people have them in their houses and put vases on them. Or worse, they treat them like you shouldn't touch it. I hate redundant piano and I hate pianos that are treated like a necklace. Look what I can spend money on, God forbid they use it. I always think I should sit down and play one of them but I'm not that much of a wanker. I'm fucking close, I'm right at the edge of that, man. 

Me: This isn't a comedy album but there are some funny lines and some comedy in it, right? 

Tim: I think I have a compulsion which some people I'm sure don't love to play with words a lot. So when I set about doing this years ago I said I'm going to write a record of serious songs and I'm going to get rid of that comedy. One of the great a things that came out of this process is that I realized I don't have to try and separate the "hard drive." It'a actually taking away the punch line intent. Of course all through my comedy career which by the way was only six years in the 30 years that I've been writing songs I really went from Edinburgh 2005 to Royal Albert Hall in 2012 and I thought okay, I did that. That was it until 2019 when I started touring again and it's a comedy show I guess but it's definitely not as "punch liney." What I realized with this record is I don't have to switch something off, I just have to not piss you laughs but my natural writing style is of course whimsical. 

Me: Okay, so, I love bands with a sense of humor... Barenaked Ladies, Squeeze, Madness, even the Beatles were pretty humorous. What do you think? 

Tim: Yeah, with the Beatles every second song was taking a piss. Look at the footage of those boys touring before it got ridiculous and all they're doing is having a laugh. They're disintegration was literally colligated simply was when they stopped having a laugh. When they got hassled by the Christians. When they got to America and people started to take them seriously they were like we are just having a laugh. They said fuck this and it's not fun anymore. Of course it's vey hard to take yourself seriously with the biggest act ever. 

Me: So, who are your biggest influences, Tim? 

Tim: The Beatles, Kinks and Queen. Then I jump forward and hit my area with grange and Seattle and suddenly if you're not trying to kill yourself you're not cool. That sounds flippant, I'm not making a joke about people who are suicidal, I'm making a joke about how we consume, how we want to feed on it culturally. Maybe that was the turning point, but there is no doubt that I built a comedy career on there fact that I was a post-grunge songwriter. I was playing piano instead of a guitar, I wasn't beat up as a kid and I don't have a drug addiction so there was no place for me. Which then gave me a career and ironically was the solution so I found my place. 

Me: What kinda genre do you think your music is? 

Tim: I'm within the genre of pop which is really what I'm writing on, singer songwriter whatever. 

Me: What was it like writing a musical like Matilda or Groundhog Day? 

Tim: Musical theatre needs a big unashamed heart, except when someone is writing musical theatre parody like "The South Park" boys did with Book of Mormon. But even Book of Mormon has that incredible, beautiful what they call in musical theatre "I want song" with "Salt Lake City." I can't just sustain a narrative of a musical for two hours without making people want to cry or whatever. That's the task. 

Me: Tim, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun. 

Tim: It's been an absolute pleasure and fun to talk about me. Now I want to read your fucking blog. Don't end it. 

Me: I will. Haha.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Tim Minchin for a great interview. I wish it could've been longer though. The Phile will be back on Friday with Lisa Henson, daughter of Jim. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Get vaxxed!

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...