Pheaturing Eddie Izzard

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. We are down to the final ten. So weird. So, Spencer Elden, who appears naked as a baby on the cover of Nirvana's 1991 album "Nevermind," is suing the band for alleged child exploitation and pornography. The album cover shows Elden, now 30, as a four-month-old baby boy swimming naked underwater with a U.S. dollar bill hanging in front of him on a fishhook. "Defendants intentionally commercially marketed Spencer's child pornography and leveraged the shocking nature of his image to promote themselves and their music at his expense," he alleged in the lawsuit, which was filed on Tuesday. Elden is asking for $150,000 in damages from each of the defendants, which include former band members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic, photographer Kirk Weddle, various record companies, and Courtney Love, executor of lead singer Kurt Cobain's estate. According to the court filing, Robert Y. Lewis, Elden's lawyer, says the inclusion of the dollar bill in the photograph makes the baby resemble "a sex worker." Elden says his parents never signed a release authorizing the use of the image and that he was never compensated for the photo beyond the $200 his parents were paid for it on the day the photo was taken. The lawsuit also alleged that a sticker was initially going to be used to cover Elden's genitals, which appear in the photograph shot by Weddle, who was a friend of Elden's father. Elden also says he has suffered from "extreme and permanent emotional distress" since the photograph was taken. Universal Music Group, Weddle and a publicist for Love did not immediately respond to requests from Reuters for comment. Nirvana's "Nevermind" album has sold around 30 million copies worldwide, and the cover art has been named one of the greatest album covers of all time by Billboard magazine and Rolling Stone magazine. Elden has a tattoo that reads "Nevermind" across his chest, and he has previously recreated the pool photograph numerous times for the album's anniversaries. He had previously discussed the photograph in numerous interviews, including a 2008 interview with NPR where 17-year-old Elden discussed how he struggled to make sense of his public image. In an interview with TIME in 2016, Elden expressed his frustration with the lack of compensation he's received for the photograph. "It's hard not to get upset when you hear how much money was involved," he said to TIME in 2016. "I just woke up already being a part of this huge project. It's pretty difficult... you feel like you're famous for nothing, but you didn't really do anything but their album." What a baby.

Every restaurant owner knows that online review forums are a space where reputations get decimated. While plenty of people log on to give high star ratings and positive affirmations, the customers most drawn to review sites tend to be nit-picky and sometimes downright vindictive. Of course, even the most well-run restaurant can benefit from constructive critique, but that's far different than malicious or dishonest rants. For this reason, Gary Usher, who runs the Sticky Walnut, decided to shut down a two-star review of his high-end restaurant on TripAdvisor. The review, which was penned by someone named Rob V, applauded the restaurant for good food, but claimed the customer service was lacking. In a lengthy response, Gary shared the staff's side of the story, detailing how Rob V tried to "bully" and "intimidate" servers. Gary did not hold back in his response, leading it by giving TripAdvisor the nickname "TwitAdvisor." "For goodness sake Robert, I'm supposed to be in Twitadvisor retirement, so let's not waste any time. After all, you've waited 11 years after joining Twitadvisor to write your first review. Rob you reserved a table on a Friday evening and agreed to a 1 hour 45 minute time slot. A standard practice, particularly on busy periods, that guests and restaurants worldwide agree to." Gary then went on to describe how Rob completely ignored the standard time slot for reservations and became aggressive with the Manager when politely warned about the time frame. "After your dessert course the Manager, who you said "doesn't give a toss," gently reminded you that we would need the table back shortly. You ignored the Manager and proceeded to order another round of drinks. Perhaps if your party had arrived on time for your reservation this could have been avoided. When the Manager came back a final time to politely let you know we needed to clear the table for our next guests you got out of your seat, towering over the Manager, pointing in their face." Gary also dragged Rob for using the classic "I worked in restaurants" line in a manipulative attempt to get free drinks. "The Manager's response was 'sir, can you please stop pointing in my face.' You proceeded to tell the Manager that they didn't deserve to be a Manager and weren't qualified to be in that position. Your mother then joined in by adding to the vitriol being directed to the manager. That's when both you and your mother showed your true colours with the classic 'We both worked in restaurants so we know how it works. We should be getting these drinks for free.'" Gary also called out Rob for threatening the Manager by pretending to be his (Gary's) friend, and later sending restaurant an email complaining about the situation. "You, Rob, then threatened the Manager by telling them that you would be contacting the owner because you know him and that Gary (me) would be appalled to learn to know how you, 'my friend,' had been treated. The Manager politely pleaded with your whole table to just listen whilst they explained. No one did." "In a strange turn of events you emailed me, 'your friend,' at Sticky Walnut's email address. You must have lost my number Rob! Not surprisingly, to either me or the Manager, you and I don't know each other Rob. Every few months in a restaurant a rude guest will use the 'I know the owner' line to try and intimidate team members and bully them into thinking that they will get in trouble because they didn't look after the owner's 'friends' well enough." Gary ended his response by admonishing Rob once more, sharing he'll never be allowed in the restaurant again, and that they are not indeed friends. "I did read your email. I did 'give a toss,' not about you Rob, but about the way you treated the team. So instead of replying to you we decided to block your number, and your Mum's, and put a note on our booking system to not accept any future bookings from you. With regards to the Manager who 'doesn't give a toss,' they have managed Sticky Walnut for the past 8 years. Coincidentally the same length of time that Sticky Walnut has achieved a top 100 position in the National Restaurant Awards in the U.K. I think that makes them both extremely deserving to be the Manager and absolutely qualified to hold that position. Regards, Not Your Mate. Gary Another Owner you don't actually know." 

Don’t tell me Kanye West built a damn house inside a football stadium just to not release his album. Kanye is doing just about everything right now, except dropping his long-awaited album called "Donda," which has been teased by West for years. After missing its scheduled released date, West is testing his fans’ patience by holding massive listening parties to tease the new music. West has held two listening parties thus far, the latest of which took place inside Atlanta’s Mercedes-Bens Stadium. West, in fact, decided to temporarily live inside the building following the show in order to attempt to the album finished, even live-streaming nearly ever minute of his days and nights for fans as he worked in his small cinderblock makeshift apartment. Kanye’s latest stunt is that of a third listening party, this time taking place inside Soldier Field in Chicago, West’s hometown. 

He’s gone as far as to have his team elaborately construct an exact replica of his childhood home which sits just hours away in the middle of the stadium. The build is likely a tribute to his mother, to whom the album is named after. Donda West passed 17 years ago. West bought back the home he grew up in for $225k.

A "Disney Gallery Special" has been released on the streaming platform where it would focus on "Star Wars: The Mandalorian - Making of the Season 2 Finale," and Mark Hamill already has something to say to the fans waiting for their various questions to be answered, he jokes about some information remaining in the shadows despite the revelations in the show. The second season finale of "The Mandalorian" has given a lot of surprises to Star Wars fans especially when everyone saw the return of Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker with Baby Yoda, also known as Grogu, being trained as a Jedi. While the viewers were given as to how the appearance was made possible in a technical perspective, even adding to the narrative, Hamill made sure to confirm the things on Twitter. Hamill said that even with a new special trying to answer almost all of the questions Star Wars fans would have, there would still be things that will remain unanswered. 

The fandom surely has tons of questions and answering all of them could be a long line down memory lane in the galaxy far, far away. Some can’t even be answered at all and if there are things that Hamill has kept a lid on would be for anyone’s guess. The new Star Wars special would be about the season 2 finale of "Star Wars: The Mandalorian" last year’s wherein a young Luke Skywalker made its way to the small screen showing one of the biggest reveals and best-kept secrets that the series managed to give the fans and the viewers. The technology that brought him back to the screen was a cutting-edge once and is one of the main topics to be discussed in the special.

There are still times when I have to pinch myself over the fact that Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen will be making their respective returns to the Star Wars franchise nearly 20 years after Revenge of the Sith was released and the timing couldn't have been any better. The two actors will reunite in the upcoming "Obi-Wan Kenobi" series which will take place a full decade following the jaw-dropping events of Episode III. Aside from the aforementioned setting, very little is known about the series at this point but apparently, leaked concept art from the upcoming series has already been making the rounds online and it pretty much gives us an idea of what will go down in the project. Twitter page Star Wars Stuff shared concept images featuring how Anakin Skywalker would look outside his Darth Vader suit. The design is quite a terrifying sight to behold as it features Anakin's scarred face, body, and two severed limbs. Also included in the leaked artwork is a large bacta tank and a breathing apparatus. Check it out...

As it stands, we're not quite sure if this terrifying new look will be something that we'll see more than once over the course of the show but given the fact that it's actually Hayden who will be under the Vader mask, it's a little safe to assume that we'll see his scarred Anakin face on more than one occasion. Say what you will about the prequel trilogy but I'm seriously stoked about this show.

This just in... Van Halen baby sues Nirvana baby for being a pussy. 

Have you seen the new cover for Nirvana's "Nevermind"? I think it fixes the problem...

Hahahaha. So, today's guest is comedian Eddie Izzard. Not many people know he stole my look when he did stand-up. Check me out...

Hahaha. That's so dumb. If you fear that you are not living up to your intellectual potential, or simply aren't the most knowledgable person around...fear no more. As long as you know what the delta variant is, basic spelling, and that it's physically possible (and indeed quite common!) for a woman to know more about something than a man, you are an absolute genius compared to the person here...

Remember that "Dinosaurs" show from the 90s? It was more "realistic" than you thought...

Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things Said About The Milk Crate Challenge

5.  Waiting for FDA approval before I take the Milk Crate Challenge.

4. Milk Crate Challenge: get a whole bunch of crates, absolutely fill them with my shot, and help me move this weekend.

3. Who called it the Milk Crate Challenge and not Broke Back Mountain?

2. Wish my grandparents were still alive to watch me die doing the Milk Crate Challenge.\

And the number one thing said about the Milk Crate Challenge is...

1. I know someone is out there trying to do a milk crate gender reveal. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

Wow! They changed the website. You can't tell here but they did. 

On homes in the U.K...

People are crazy...

Today's guest is an English stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and activist. Her comedic style takes the form of rambling whimsical monologues and self-referential pantomime. His latest movie Six Minutes to Midnight is available on Vudu, Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV. Please welcome to the Phile... Eddie Izzard.

Me: Hey, Eddie, welcome to the Phile. My parents and I were big fans of your stand-up. How are you? 

Eddie: I'm very well, how are you? 

Me: I'm good. Okay, before we get going I have to ask what pronouns would you like to use for our conversation? 

Eddie: Oh, any. Use adverbs and adjectives I think. I came out 36 years ago so that's the important date. So 1985... I'm gender-fluid, I do things in boy mode and go mode so this is all in boy mode so I'll go with male with "me" and "him" and stuff. It does trip people up a bit. It's not designed to, so I don't want it to. Whatever you want. 

Me: Cool. "He" and "him" then. I was told by one of your people you want to use female pronouns. 

Eddie: Okay. 

Me: Okay, so, you have a new movie out called Six Minutes to Midnight, which you co-wrote. Tell the readers what the movie is about. 

Eddie: It's about an English finishing school where Nazi children went to school. 

Me: I'm from England originally and had no idea of this story. How did you find out about this school, Eddie? 

Eddie: Well, no one knows. It's sitting there. There were 26 schools in this town which is bizarro. Who has 26 schools in a town? But this one did. It was due to the fact that they were set up as health spa kind of things. "Come to Bexhill-on-Sea, three new trains of the 1800s are being set up." Royalties would turn upon and stay, so that's why there are 26 schools. One was also a finishing school, where German girls went to learn English and get to know other members of the British aristocracy including Edward the 8th who was in with the Nazis. So all these kind of posh elites who were extreme right-wing were just into making friends and the girls were there to make friends too. They were listening to Hitler's speeches in Bexhill-On-Sea in England on the radiogram, so we know this happened, we know it went on and we know they were there. I found out about it because of the blazer badges, there blazer badges had the British flag and the Nazi flag. If you've seen the film you've seen it right at the beginning being woven. That was the badge that started it all. I was shown a picture of that and I was like "whoa! There's a film in that." 

Me: It would've made a great documentary instead of a film, right? 

Eddie: It still can. 

Me: So, for people that haven't seen the film how would you describe it? 

Eddie: A great popcorny thriller. 

Me: What made you want to go that route? 

Eddie: Well, that's more commercial. I'm the kid that sat there eating popcorn and watching films. I like thrillers, I like action movies, I'm not an intellectual. I'm like emotional movies and so putting a thriller on top of this seemed good. The clock was ticking, it's called Six Minutes to Midnight. You might think World War II is about countries being bad and counties being good but it's about ideas being bad and ideas being good. We know that because 90 years we've spun around extreme right-wing ideas are around again. And behind the surface the extreme people didn't go away, they just went quiet for a bit after the second world war. Then they came back and Trump gave them permission to come out, get the Confederate flag out again and assault the sea of democracy and all this kind of stuff. So using lies as a tool of democracy that is the dangerous thing. It happened in 90 years ago and some people say let's try the 1930s again. So out film is like a little lesson from history. You do not learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it. 

Me: What's the lesson? 

Eddie: Well, the lesson is this is it. These children were being beguiled by a guy who was lying. The Nazis were a criminal organization who were quite happy to put lie upon lie the Jews did this. The Jews didn't do any of this, it was nonsense from the beginning. The whole Aryan idea of inbreeding people lead to congenital defects. It was a bad idea to start off with. It's just lies upon lies upon lies. The big lies are much easier to sell than the little lies. And Trump proved this by saying, "I've won the election that I lost." he kept saying he won it, he won it and people in America, some of them still believe this. That is insane because it's an utter utter lie. Even Republican officials are saying "no, you cannot bully us into doing this, Mr. Trump. We will not turn this election over." So that is the lesson that these ideas didn't go away. The right-wing uses it all over the place. 

Me: You're not mean to the German Nazi girls in the movie, right? You're very generous to them, so to speak. Am I right? 

Eddie: Yeah, I wanted to see them with a more open minded state as opposed to they've all been brainwashed. It also didn't work in our story, but I think they were more overtly pronoun Nazi than we were painting them. We painted some of them that way and some of them were fun loving girls and Carla Juri plays one girl who was against it and she represents this famous photograph of 500 people doing the Nazi salute and one guy who is refusing to do the salute. It's a famous one people can Google it and find it. It takes such strength to push against that. We just got to watch out, I think the 21st century is the coming of age of humanity and this century we will decide it all, whether we are going to become a world where there's a fair chance for everyone or whether we go down this extreme right-wing way everyone hating one country and using lies as a tool of politics. 

Me: So, Dame Judi Dench is in the movie, playing the headmistress. She's such a legendary actress. What was it like working with her? 

Eddie: I was listening to Ray Charles' "That's What I Say" when we were making the previous film we made together, Victoria & Abdul, she played Queen Victoria and I played her son Bertie, who became Edward the 7th. Playing this track, and I was just sort of dancing around to it then she started dancing in front of me. It was 1) kind of an amazing moment and 2) I realised she was dancing like a young teenage girl. She still has that. She can access that part of herself, she's such a fun loving person. That's why she's so vibrant with anything she plays. She can access any age of her life, any part of her life at a moments notice. She has a great sense of humour as well. 

Me: You weren't intimating working with her? 

Eddie: Well, I've tried in my life too push all intimation back. If I'm performing in French, German or Spanish my fear tends to go away. If I come out as trans my fear kind of goes away. if I'm running marathon upon marathon my fear goes back, so that's what I try to do in life. 

Me: So, do you like acting? 

Eddie: When I was 7 I wanted to act and then I wasn't getting any roles at school and I realised there's a separate are for comedy and I love comedy so I thought let's just do that then. Then it took so long for that to take off. Then I added back in drama in my early 30s. I have separate agents and I pushed in there two directions at the same time which is kind of an odd thing to do. With my early work I had comedy muscles developed and I knew I had to switch them off. If I had instincts developed and I switch them off and start doing my early dramatic roles, which become some small scenes. They were rehearsals, I was going in shooting for half a day and maybe that's the end of the my film. All I had was no instincts, and I switched off my comedy instincts and that was a good thing, but it meant I was a little bit awash, a little bit at sea. 

Me: Your first big role was in the American series "The Riches" with Minnie Driver in 2007, right? It ran for one season I think. 

Eddie: Yeah. "The Riches" were probably drama school and film school for me... all in one. I was part of the group that was pitching the idea so I was already in there and I got stronger and stronger through that so it came to a point where I was I now know know what I'm doing. 

Me: So, you co-wrote this new film. Is this your first time you write a movie? 

Eddie: Yeah, similarly to what I was just talking about part of the reason was to make sure, secure a good leading role for myself. So I can call first dibs on it. 

Me: Ha! Are you not seeing enough interesting roles coming your way? 

Eddie: No, I'm getting interesting roles and they're getting better and better but they tend to me more supporting. They wouldn't think that drag person whose slightly older now, let's go give them that lead. There's a certain look that most lead roles get. So for me I thought I should set up my own films to give myself a good lead role. All the A-listers do it anyway, they might not write the script but they will buy, they will option a property like a book and say that's a good role for me, I'd like to buy this. Then they'll develop it and give themselves a big lead role. It's exactly what I'm doing. So if the A-listers have to do it then me, I may be B plus, B minus... I definitely have to do it. I want to make films, I want to direct films. 

Me: I have to ask you about this story I read about or heard about you once, that when you were a kid you broke into a movie studio. Is that true? 

Eddie: I broke into Pinewood Studios, one of the big studios in Britain when I was 15. 

Me: You broke in? Why did you do this and how? 

Eddie: I walked in the front door. I'm very military how I get things done. So I was watching films in the 70s in my teenage years and copy down notes from the titles as they went to the end. There was no Internet, I could't even stop the screen to read what was on there. At the end of Battle of Britain it says "filmed in Spain and England." And Pinewood Studios, in Iver Heath, Bucks. I wrote that down thinking there's a studio, they make these things in studios. Iver Heath, Bucks didn't make sense, I didn't know what it was but it must be a place. I had to go get a map with every town and village and city in the U.K. listed alphabetically, which we used to have in those days. It was a village and there was a studio built right near this village so I had to get a train to London from Bexhill-On-Sea and then an underground tube then a bus to Iver Heath where I said, "Its there a film studio around here?" "Yeah, it's half a mile down the road." I walked up to the main gate and thought how do I get in. "What is it, kid?" "I'm going to be in films so I need to come in really." "Just piss off, kid. You can't come in." So I thought I've come miles, I'm not going to give up now. Then there was another entrance which was just a little further up which is now the main entrance and I watched and I realised if I walked in with confidence I can get in, because they were only checking people who looked like they needed their stuff checked. And I walked in like Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood did in Where Eagles Dare. I marched in a certain speed, not too fast, not too slow, and I moved around Pinewood for two hours at a certain speed, hardly stopping in case someone said, "stop kid." Once I was in no one didn't pay a blind bit of notice. 

Me: Hahaha. What did you want to happen when you were there? 

Eddie: I wanted someone to say, "Hey, kids, walking a certain speed, can you speak English?" "Yes." "All right. You are the lead role." 

Me: Hahahahaha. Okay, so last December you got a lot of attention in the press when you said you wanted to be called "she" and "her." How did all this attention affect you? 

Eddie: I don't know, I was slightly surprised because 1) I came out in 1985. How much notice does anyone need? Thirty-five years? Is that enough? You want another ten years? "She" and her?! When you were wearing the dresses we thought that was a tax thing!" I don't know what people were thinking so I don't know anyone was surprised. It's just a language adjustment. I'm gender-fluid, in film roles I will be playing boy roles... I call it "boy-mode, girl-mode." 

Me: Haha. That's a good way to put it. What does that mean though? 

Eddie: I consider being trans is a super hero thing. Just like the Human Torch can go "flame on, flame off." I could do the same with boy off, girl off. That's it. That's how I live my life. But something that was grabbed hold off, and even a year before I've been given an honourary degree in Swansea, one of the big cities, where I used to live actually, in Wales. The Chancellor of the University started calling me "she" and "her" in her read up when she was mentioning me. I was like thank you very much, I'm thankful for that. The press picked up on that and the Daily Mail which is a very conservative/right-wing paper in England is always looking for gossip. "What's going on?!" So I put a statement out over a year and a half before that, even thought I came out a million years ago. So that was done and dusted then, and no one gave a dickie-bow. Nothing picked up, nothing went viral. Then a year and a bit later it goes COMPLETELY viral around the world. IMDB and Wikipedia my pronouns changed just like that. I thought I was promoted to "she" and it's a great honour, but it shouldn't be the big thing. I'm not all about pronouns. I'm more about adverbs. Vastly. He ran vastly. 

Me: Speaking of running, how many marathons did you run? 

Eddie: In my time now 130 marathons. Back I 2009 I did 43 in 51 days, and then I went to South Africa and did 27 in 27 days in 2016. That was a salute to Nelson Mandela, 27 years in prison. So I thought I'd raise money and salute to it. Then 2020 I ran in 29 marathons, 29 days around Europe. And then I did 32 marathons in 31 days with a double marathon at the end in lockdown on a treadmill, talking to people. And I had George Clooney at the end doing the countdown. And doing a gig at the end of each marathon. 

Me: Holy shit. Where does the persistence in your life come from? 

Eddie: I might have that gene. I might have that genetic. I tracked it back, looking at my school reports and "Edward Izzard is a determined little boy." I used to odd things to get into things. I was not into being in the choir because someone said being in the choir is really girly. I wasn't out at this point. Then later on anyone who was in the choir was in the production of Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat and I thought I want to be in that. It's fun stuff, it's not singing hymns. I was about 11 or 12 so I went and just stood in the room with all of the choir and I'm not supposed to be there so I just stand there. I just became the fetch and carry person, like the stage manager, and no one asked me too, no one checked why I was there. I made myself necessary so I ended up in it and ended up having a solo line in it even. I would push my way into things if I could. 

Me: So, was acting the only thing you wanted to do? 

Eddie: I wanted to be in special forces when I was a kid, and I was quite serious wanting to do that and instead I've done civilian special forces I think. Coming out as trans, running 13 marathons before, performing in French, German and Spanish as well as English. And now making films, which is always what I wanted to do in yore first place. It's great to be here with this film, Six Minutes to Midnight. 

Me: Eddie, I'm so glad to have you on the Phile. Take care! 

Eddie: It was good talking to you.

Well, that about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Eddie for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with Marc Summers, who you 90s kids will know who that is I am sure. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...