Pheaturing Lisa Loeb

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. How are you? It looks like summer is going to look… and feel a little bit different this year! Because well, we already went through a pandemic, so why not spice things up a little bit more. Say goodbye to the snowstorms and the sleet, the semi-normal temperatures are back! According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac, summer in the Northern Hemisphere officially begins on June 20th, 2021, at 11:32 p.m. EDT with the welcome of the summer solstice. For those of you who live in the Southern Hemisphere, this is actually the shortest day of the year and the arrival of winter. For most of us, summer is pretty much the most anticipated season of the year. Let’s face it, it’s pool weather, who doesn’t love to soak up the sun while at the pool or at the beach. Let’s not forget about camping and the outdoors! But, there might be a little hiccup this year. According to the weather forecast in the 2021 Farmers’ Almanac, summer will be stormy this year with a greater than average frequency of thunderstorms for a large portion of the U.S. Many of these said storms will be strong, particularly over the eastern third of the nation. They also predict that these particular summer rainstorms may be severe and spawn widespread tornados over the middle part of the U.S. during June and July. Yikes. Portions of the Central and Southern Rockies and Great Plains are also expected to see a higher than normal thunderstorm activity. Of course, what is summer without a little bit of heat? Don’t worry, the heat will still visit us like it always does. Summer temperatures are predicted, unfortunately, above normal for two-thirds of the country, especially in the East and the South. Although typically the hottest weather can be expected in July or early August, this year’s heat could peak in late August into early September! Yup, so I suggest you plan ahead and make sure your air conditions are working, and bust out those cooling fans! Also, you might want to invest in some shorts, because the heat will be real this year! To my Canadians out there, I got you covered! According to the 2021 Canadian Farmers Almanac, summer is expected to be stormy with greater than normal coverage of thunderstorms, especially over the eastern third of the nation. Several of these storms will storm and could create some tornadoes over the Prairies during June and July. An extended summer long-range weather forecast also predicts above normal summer temperatures for two of Canada, especially in the East. Summer’s heat will arrive later than normal, though, and could peak in late August into early September. As far as tropical activity, The Farmers’ Almanac predicted a hurricane threat for Florida during the first week of August. It is expected to weaken as it tracks north. Another hurricane threat is expected at the end of August near the Louisiana/Texas Gulf Coast. A hurricane could also provide south Florida with a blow during the second week of October and the Bahamas could also be treated by this system. They are also forecasting hurricane threats for Nova Scotia in early September and again in mid-to-late September. There might also be a late tropical storm close to Newfoundland toward the end of October. In case you’re wondering, hurricane season runs from e June 1st to November 30th with a peak of activity on September 10th. But, that being said, hurricanes can form at any time! So, might as well always be prepared!

President Rock. I think that has a pretty good ring to it, don’t you? A recent poll suggests that nearly half of Americans agree that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson should actually run for the highest office in the land. And it’s not the first time the idea has come up. The wrestler-turned-actor-turned-household-name Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has long teased a presidential run. In 2017, the idea was first proposed...  jokingly... during his own "Saturday Night Live" monologue. In that comedic bit, the host also announced a potential running mate: Tom Hanks. A dynamic duo dream team to say the least. As he so hilariously puts it, digging at the presidency of Donald Trump, “In the past, I never would have considered running for president. I didn’t think I was qualified at all. But now I’m actually worried I’m too qualified.” Hanks adds that the only things Americans can agree on is pizza, and them: two universally adored public figures. “Together, we would get 100 percent of the vote,” Hanks continues, saying he could woo senior voters. The Rock, meanwhile, would get the minority vote because... as he puts it... “everyone assumes I am what they are.” As vice president, Hanks could calmly assure the nation in crisis while the Rock boldly saves the country from a natural disaster. Cue the action theme music. Later that year, in an interview with USA Today, Johnson elaborated on the idea of running. Referring to a 2016 Washington Post op-ed maintaining that Johnson would really stand a chance, he said, “So I can tell you with all honesty that the consideration comes at the desire from a large amount of people who would like to see this happen. But I mean, honestly, there are so many different variables that have to come into play when you think about this. Politics is not my business. So the consideration is there. And we’ll just have to see. I’ll continue to watch and learn as much as I can.” Additionally, he told GQ that running was a “real possibility.” Of course, the 2020 election came and went with no word of him potentially entering the race. In September, Johnson publicly endorsed the Joe Biden/Kamala Harris ticket. In the official Instagram video, Johnson also referred tot himself as a “registered independent” with “centrist ideology.” But now, with the new research showing 46% of Americans would like to see Johnson run, perhaps he’d really begin his own presidential campaign. Dwayne Johnson’s new NBC sitcom "Young Rock" follows his real-life story, from growing up in Hawaii to become a professional wrestler and eventually… the President of the United States. The narrative framing of the show takes place in 2032, with Johnson’s character running in the presidential election. It’s through a tell-all interview with Randall Park (in this fictionalization, the actor has become a serious, CNN-Esque news correspondent) that Johnson begins to reflect on his past through charming and colorful anecdotes. Fresh poll results published by Piplsay have suggested that 46% of Americans would support a presidential run by the Rock. And that news is now trending on social media. The online poll gathered results from 30,138 adults in the United States between April 2nd and April 4th. It found that 63% of Americans thought entertainment stars could become good politicians with “the right attitude and support staff.” Should the Rock actually run... and win... he’d be following in the footsteps of Ronald Reagan and former President Donald Trump in the Hollywood-to-DC pipeline. But maybe he’ll remain like the elusive Oprah, a philanthropic celeb who never fully commits to becoming a presidential candidate. And of course, running for governor first is always an option. Arnold Schwarzenegger did it and served for eight years. Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon ran for governor New York in 2018 and lost to Andrew Cuomo. Currently, Caitlyn Jenner and Matthew McConaughey are both teasing their own gubernatorial bids. As neither a Democrat nor Republican, any future campaign by the Rock would be hard to predict. But in a February 2021 interview with USA Today, Johnson insists that he would indeed “consider a presidential run in the future if that’s what the people wanted.” So what do you think? Could the Rock really breakthrough, from WWE to the White House? Should he try? 

Rumors have been spreading that Caitlyn Jenner, 1976 Olympic champion and Wheaties box athlete, is thinking about running to unseat current Gov. Gavin Newsom of California. As Gov. Newsom faces a possible recall election, Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner, has reportedly been “actively exploring” a run for governor of California, with the help of GOP fundraiser and fixer Caroline Wren, who Jenner had met through the American Unity Fund, a GOP nonprofit focused on LGBTQ issues. According to Axios, at least three sources have vouched that the former "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" reality TV star, a Republican and supporter of former President Donald Trump, is talking with political consultants. However, according to Fox News, an industry insider said, “Caitlyn Jenner is never going to be governor of California, but she may get herself a new show on a streamer out of all this.” Nevertheless, Sophia Hutchins, the transgender activist’s manager, told People Magazine back in February, “Caitlyn is not running for governor, has never considered running for governor and is very happy doing the work that she is doing to promote LGBT rights and spending time with her 18 grandchildren and 10 children.” In the midst of Recall Gavin 2020, a group that’s pushing the recall effort per Gov. Newsom’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic, the Republican National Committee confirmed investing $250,000 to aid those efforts. Anyone planning to run against Gov. Newsom in a potential recall election would need roughly 1.5 million signatures, 12% of the number of voters in the last gubernatorial election, to make the recall vote a reality. However, both Jenner and Wren have yet to make any comments about the rumors or return any request for comments. It seems as though the public would be very interested in seeing Jenner making a run for governor. Whether it’s for the drama or for real change though who knows? 

Alright, let’s face it, you have all been here. I’m not judging this woman one bit. This woman was just trying to have a good time, and well, she did. Except for the part where she smashed her face on the ground and lost her teeth. 

But besides that, it was a great day. Meet Autumn Cathey, the woman who is basically going viral on TikTok and on other social media platforms. Basically, she filmed herself and others drinking several flights of mimosas throughout the day, but things took a turn at bottomless brunch when her front teeth were knocked out. As expected, the TikTok video went viral, because well… it’s funny. She knew what she was doing when she posted it. The video was originally uploaded to TikTok by user @autumncathey6. One day after posting, the video amassed over 211,000 views and over 340,000 likes! As expected, an uploaded video on Twitter also went viral with over 3.4 million views! Yikes, that’s scary. In the viral video, the TikToker narrated drinking mimosas with her friends, recording each of them saying how many they have had. After saying that she had seven mimosas, she is then shown climbing onto a friend’s shoulders and walking about the plaza. That’s when the good shot comes in. She is then shown sitting in a car with several of her front teeth knocked out. It’s not clear how many of her teeth were knocked out, but her caption describes it all, “Bottomless mimosas are a drug.” But fear not, apparently Autumn is doing pretty well. In a reply to a TikTok comment, she said, “They put the teeth right back in and put glue across my whole upper row of teeth.” She said she’s perfectly fine, but a little traumatized, of course, and luckily her smile is back to normal. I have to say, she is really really lucky! She could have busted her lip open or hit her head. I guess her teeth landed that fall.

A Clarkston man was unknowingly recorded during a home inspection pleasuring himself with an Elmo doll. He was later arranged on two misdemeanor counts in 52-3 District Court located in Rochester Hills. Authorities stated 59-year-old Kevin Wayne VanLuven was arraigned on charges of aggravated indecent exposure and malicious destruction of property under $200. Magistrate Karen Holt set a $2,500 cash or surety bond on the charges. Aggravated indecent exposure carries a $2,000 fine or two years in prison. The property charge carries a $500 fine of a 93-day jail sentence. As a condition of his bond, VanLuven can’t be alone in any residential property he doesn’t own, is to have no contact with victims, and is required to have a mental health evaluation. Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard commented on the situation, noting, “Just when I think I have seen it all, someone steps up and surprises me with a new level of disturbing actions. Sadly, in today’s world we cannot take it on faith that the people we let into our homes can be trusted. We cannot always presume that employers have done their job and have confidence their employees are trustworthy and are there to do the job for which they’ve been hired. This is a disgusting reminder to be cautious about who you let into your home. The actions of these homeowners will likely prevent this defendant from going into anyone else’s home.” VanLuven was arrested without any incident by law enforcement officers of the Sheriff’s Office Fugitive Apprehension Team. His arrest stems from the incident, which took place on March 12th, at the home of an Oxford Township couple who were having their home inspected by VanLuven at the request of the prospective buyers. The couple told detectives that they let the buyer’s real estate agent and VanLuven into their home and left during the inspection. The nursery camera then alerted the phone of the woman, noting that there was movement in the nursery. When she checked, she saw VanLuven in the room. He then allegedly began touching himself and she began recording the incident. VanLuven picked up the doll from the nursery floor and then appeared to pleasure himself with the doll, returning it to the original location when he was finished. The Oakland County Sheriff’s Office released a statement the incident, noting, “The couple told detectives they let VanLuven and the buyer’s real estate agent into their home and left during the inspection. A nursery camera alerted the phone of the 22-year-old female homeowner that there was movement in the nursery. She checked her phone and allegedly saw VanLuven in the nursery. As she continued to watch, he allegedly began touching himself and she began recording the incident. VanLuven then picked up the doll from the nursery floor and appeared to be pleasuring himself with the doll. He then returned it to its original location. Deputies were summoned to the home. During questioning, VanLuven said he moved the doll to inspect an electrical outlet but did nothing else. When told there was a camera in the nursery, VanLuven allegedly made incriminating statements and apologized.” VanLuven’s next court appearance is scheduled for April 19th before Judge Nancy Carniak.

If you're looking for a graphic design job, you may want to contact whoever employed the people responsible for the following design fail. They are most likely hiring.

Did you see that King Kong versus Godzilla movie that just came out? I did and I liked it but I thought the ending was surprising...

At least their friend now. If I had a TARDIS I would go to ty and meet Teddy Roosevelt but knowing my luck I'll go when he becomes the first U.S. President to fly in an airplane. 

Do you know what makes me chuckle? When people reenact pictures from their past, like this one...

While parents do their best to child-proof their homes with safety gates, locks and DIY hacks, toddlers can sometimes be tiny demons of destruction with cold and calculated, unpredictable missions... If you hire someone to look after your children, it's reasonable to expect that they'll keep your kids safe, happy, and fed, but charging your teenage babysitter for personal items your children destroyed while you were out is pretty shady behavior. Cooking a box of macaroni and cheese while bribing the dog to stop barking and trying to reason with a screaming 3-year-old covered in juice about why they can't eat the cat or drive the lawn mower is just a typical twenty minutes on the job. If your babysitter looks away for even a second and a valuable household item isn't properly protected, any damage is not necessarily your employee's fault. So, when a frustrated dad decided to consult the online courtroom of moral philosophy otherwise known as the Phile about whether or not he should charge his 19-year-old babysitter for damage his own child caused while she was on the clock, I thought I'd deem a verdict. 

"Am I wrong for asking for compensation for something my kid destroyed? We hired a babysitter we've had a few times at a good rate of $20 an hour since it was only for 3 hours in our home. The babysitter is a 19-year-old woman if it matters, I think maybe the age will affect something. My wife had to rush to work in an emergency and I was already at work. The babysitter is already familiar with some of our rules, like our 3-year-old is only allowed in the living room, play room, and dining room (when eating). The babysitter I guess had an emergency herself and had to be on the phone for 20 minutes. For some reason, she decided to take the call outside, her rationale was it was private and didn't want our child to listen in. In those 20 minutes, our daughter was able to move the couch to the living room gate, scale the gate, head into the basement, and pull one of my guitars off the wall. The neck is all warped and my luthier said the neck needs to be replaced. I'm asking the babysitter to front the bill on a new guitar, not a repair or neck replacement, as the alternatives diminish the value of the guitar (mismatching neck-to-body severely impacts value, and a neck repair does too). It's $2,200. Am I wrong? Or is she? Her parents are telling us we're responsible, she's offering only to have babysat for free, our friends are saying we're too harsh, but it was her responsibility, right?" Your valuables should be insured and locked up. Your baby gate should be secured. You are responsible for buying a couch that a literal baby can move (what kind of a couch is that??). You are responsible for interviewing, hiring, and training your employee. You are responsible for your minor child’s actions. The baby sitter is partially to blame, sure, but you also share a large portion of the blame. The babysitter would be responsible for a portion of the repair... not a brand new guitar. Your demand for a new guitar means you are trying to profit off of this, and that’s why you're wrong. I think this situation is reason for you to stop hiring her as your babysitter, but asking a 19-year-old to pay you $2,200 for something that was ultimately destroyed by your child is too much. She failed in her duty to supervise your child, so you're justified in not hiring her again, but other than that, how can you possibly expect her to pay you all that? It's just unreasonable, as is the fact that you're not asking her to repair your guitar, you're asking her for a new guitar. Come on, dude. Your stuff, your kid, your problem. You should have insurance for the guitar if it's so valuable and you should have it somewhere your kid can't get to. It wasn't great that she took the phone call outside, but there's always a moment when you blink or go to the bathroom and kids get into shit and you should know that. This is on you for not taking better precautions and not warning her that your kid is a power-lifter who does parkour. Do I think it's not great that she took a call outside for 20 minutes? Sure. But you have to expect that sometimes shit happens. If you're dealing with kids, shit frequently happens. This could easily have occurred when you were home and in the end, your home, your-child proofing, your kid and your guitar. It's definitely unfair to charge her a replacement guitar. She makes $20 an hour for crying out loud. Secure your damned possessions properly. So, there you have it! You're completely wrong to charge the babysitter for a $2,200 replacement guitar when your 3-year-old easily could've damaged his property on his own watch. Working for free for that shift is more than enough to make up for her outside call mistake, but there are still plenty of reasons a 3-year-old could be left unsupervised for twenty minutes inside of a gated space that she assumed was safe and child-proof. Good luck, everyone! If you have a problem you'd like my opinion on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things Parents Said About TikTok

5. New marriage vows should include: I will laugh with you, and not at you. Unless you try to make a TikTok video with the kids. 

4. You might remember me from such TikTok videos as mom vacuuming in the background or mom unknowingly walks in front of camera.

3. My college kids are home for the holidays and I am so emotional. I don't know any of these TikTok dances. 

2. I'm not saying I'm old but my daughter asked me if I had TikTok and I showed her my watch. 

And the number one thing said by a parent about TikTok is...

1. Alright fine, I'll bite: who is TikTok?

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

Looks like a nice day there.

Thighs

Leg holders

Prince Philip 

June 10th, 1921 — April 9th, 2021 

Well, well, well. Looks like QE2 is on the market again, fellas. 

Beverly Cleary 

April 12th, 1916 — March 25th, 2021 

She was a beloved author who inspired tens of millions of children to read. Her biggest scandal was...  gasp!... marrying a Roman Catholic in 1940. YOU try to think of a witty obituary, smartass.

I’m convinced that most of the adults who told me Wiki is unreliable, now use viral Facebook posts for most of their news sources.

The 149th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Tori will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's guest is an American singer-songwriter and actress. She started her career with the number 1 hit song "Stay (I Missed You)" from the film Reality Bites, the first number 1 single for an artist without a recording contract. Her latest album "A Simple Trick to Happiness" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Lisa Loeb.

Me: Hello, Lisa, welcome to the Phile. I'm so excited that you are here! How are you? 

Lisa: Thank you very much. I'm excited to be here. 

Me: Can you believe it's been 27 years since "Stay (I Missed You) came out? 

Lisa: It's unbelievable. In some ways it feels so recent to me. I think about "Stay" a lot, its kind of like my signature song. People say, "Oh, you're the girl with the glasses. You're the one that sings that song, sing it for me." Then I have to stop at a shopping mall and sing "Stay" to somebody. But it is a song that represents the type of songs I was writing, when that song started getting played on the radio it definitely was part of my regular catalogue of songs. There was a lot of lyrics and storytelling, it was a little bit closer to my heart than my other songs were at the time, It was a little more "based in reality," as opposed to some of the more fictional songs I would write. It had complicated guitar parts and it was definitely a song that represented me as an artist and it makes sense it's my signature song and I still play it on my shows. 

Me: Okay, so, you became big in the 90s, and you have a cool song from the album "No Fairy Tale," called "The 90's." By the way, it should have been spelt with out the apostrophe. Anyway, what is that song about? 

Lisa: My friend Chad Gilbert from the band New Found Glory co-produced the record with me and he wanted to make a poppy punky rock record. We featured Tegan and Sara on the record, they wanted to write a couple of songs for the record so Chad wanted me to write a song about the 90s. I was like what am I going to write about the 90s, mock turtleneck sweaters that we used to wear or that we didn't have great hair products. I couldn't figure out exactly what to do and I finally realized he like many other people wanted me to talk about my experience with the song "Stay" so I wrote about making the video for "Stay" in my Betsey Johnson dress and my John Fluevog platform shoes and the record industry. For me it kinda represents being in New York City in the 90s, being an up and coming musician and all it's meant to be. 

Me: That's great. I love that song. What's your relationship with that era these days? 

Lisa: The 90s, it's so funny people are so nostalgic about the 90s. And for me it was a time period that was right after college, they called it Generation-X but for me it was more like everyone was working so hard, my friends, it was a great time period. I had a lot of friends that were actors and musicians, play writes and we all hung out in New York and we were all trying so hard to do the next thing and so many of those folks are so successful now doing what we tried to do in those days. It's really fun and nostalgic to remember that. And because I play the song "Stay" and other songs from that era, and I did play a lot of concerts and tour a lot, I get to meet the fans afterwards and I often hear about peoples experiences in the 90s. And sometimes it feels so far away in some ways because it is 27 years ago at that time period. At other times it feels pretty current, I don't know, it's just weird. 

Me: Do you ever think about what it was like before the 90s? Haha. 

Lisa: Yeah, totally, I remember listening to "Sergeant Pepper" and thinking it's so old. It was 1976 and "Sergeant Pepper" was from a reeeaaallllyyy long time ago. But it was just like within the last ten years. 

Me: So, what do you think of Gen-X? I get confused about Gen-X, Millennials, and that kinda thing. Get-X are often labeled "slackers" I think. 

Lisa: Well, I will definitely say at the time I didn't feel like a slacker, and most of the people I knew weren't slackers. Even though I did know someone who was in the movie Slackers, but he was not a slacker. I will also say, we did come from a generation, I was thinking about it, it probably seemed like we were slackers because we were trying not to try to hard. We were trying to be cool and not like we were trying to hard so we had tied plaid shirts tied around our waists because we just didn't care. We had perfectly messy hair because we didn't care but we were trying hard not to try. I think it was a part of that, and I think it was a very big deal to try and sell out in that era. 

Me: Speaking of "selling out," "Stay" became huge because of the movie Reality Bites. Have you seen that movie lately and what do you think of it now? 

Lisa: Yeah, I recently saw it at the Tribeca Film Festival for the 25th anniversary and I forgot the whole thing was about "selling out." 

Me: Do you think you sold out back then? 

Lisa: Back in those days if someone asked me to write a sing for a Coca-Cola commercial I was like, "No way, I'm not taking your money to write..." Even though I do drink Coca-Cola I was like, "No way." It was taboo doing things that were other than the main thing. I was a musician and if I do acting which is something often I do and I have an eyewear line it would've been, "Whoa, you can't do all those things at once." 

Me: Did you really turn down a Coke ad? 

Lisa: Yeah, that was really 80s, that was very 90s. 

Me: Why the hell did you tuen it down? You know how much money you would've made? 

Lisa: Because I wanted to be taken seriously as a musician. That's what I've been working on my whole life. Writing songs when I was 6-years-old and playing guitar and learning to play and all that all through my early childhood. To have that all taken away because I did something too commercial that was like a really bid deal back in the 90s. 

Me: It's different now though, right? 

Lisa: Now it's completely changed, We aren't real musicians if we don't write a song for a shoe company or something like that. 

Me: I see kids at work, at Walt Disney World where I work wearing Nirvana shirts or Ramones shirts. I saw this one girl who must've been around 10 who was wearing a Ramones shirt and I jokingly asked her if she saw them in concert and she replied, "Is that a real band?" She had no idea. Did you ever wear band shirts when you were a kid? 

Lisa: I remember wearing a Police shirt at a store a few years ago from "The Ghost in the Machine" tour and this gal working at the store said, "Oh, that's a cool vintage shirt. Where did you get it?" I said, "I was at the concert." LOL. 

Me: What was it like for you being back with the Reality Bites cast for the 25th anniversary? 

Lisa: The old gang for me was really Ethan Hawke, that was who I really hung out with. I only hung out the other folks a couple of times, even though we look like we're a bunch of friends. Even the writer, Helen Childress, it was the first time I got to meet her and talk to her. It's like being in a snow globe. Again as a musician I talk about the song almost on a daily basis because people are interested and I'm out there playing my music all the time. The actors in the movie, they are living that over and over again like I am with the song because songs sort of stuck with me sometimes even more than movies. But it was fun to all be there and to think back to where we were and where we are now. 

Me: When you sing "Stay" nowadays do you go to the same place in your head the day you wrote it? Does that make any sense? 

Lisa: That's really long question. It's really long answer for me. It's funny when I approach the song "Stay" it definitely, just like all my songs, it's definitely like acting. I was sort of an actor before I was a musician and when I sing the same things over and over again I don't know, I'm somehow able to tap into now what's going on in my life. Or I think where I was then when I was writing this song. 

Me: You can bring yourself back there? 

Lisa: Yeah, and also I think the melody carries it along. I don't know, the melody feels familiar and often when I play it live there's so many faces singing it back to me and at me and with me it makes me empathically feel where they are. There are so many songs that feel that for me that I connect with. I'm often in there audience with the other people that hope they sing that song that's my favorite not realizing its from 20 years ago or 50 years ago or whatever. 

Me: Okay, I have to ask you about the song "Skeleton" from "A Simple Trick to Happiness." What is that song about?

Lisa: I'm analyzing the filters through which we evaluate our relationships with one another. When reciprocation is questionable, there can be added confusion and longing. In the end, sometimes we even feel a little duped that we had feelings that were uneven with the other person.  

Me: Lisa, thanks so much for being on the Phile, Continued success. I love your music. 

Lisa: Thank you, Jason. This was fun.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Lisa Loeb for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with Swamp Dogg. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let alligators and snakes bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...