Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? So, I have to mention that yesterday, January 8th was the Phile's 14th anniversary. Fourteen bloody years I have been doing this thing. The The traditional 14th anniversary gift is ivory, but skip the real ivory... save the elephants! Nor that I'm wanting a gift or anything... having readers like you is a gift enough.
Meghan and Harry are saying "toodles," "chip chip cheerio," and "peace out" to the British Monarchy, announcing that they are will "step back as 'senior' members of the royal family" and raise their son outside palace walls. After years of racist harassment, including a headline suggesting that Meghan was "fuelling drought and murder" by eating avocado toast, the couple decided that free palace housing in exchange for relentless scrutiny just wasn't worth it. The couple announced on Instagram that in 2020, they will transition to a new role and "work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen." "We now plan to balance our time between the United Kingdom and North America, continuing to honour our duty to The Queen, the Commonwealth, and our patronages," they explain in their statement. "This geographic balance will enable us to raise our son with an appreciation for the royal tradition into which he was born, while also providing our family with the space to focus on the next chapter, including the launch of our new charitable entity." In other words, Harry and Meghan are actually following up on everybody's pledges to move to Canada. People are applauding Harry and Meghan for telling the monarchy and British press to piss off after everything they've been through. Harry, you may recall, lost his mother when he was twelve years old and blames the paparazzi for the car accident that killed her. Harry and Meghan have spoken up about their racist treatment of her in the press, and are suing a tabloid for their smears. Now The Mail on Sunday won't have them to slander anymore. Fans of Harry and Meghan are roasting the Royal reporters who are likely clutching their pearls in shock. The turn of events is guaranteed to make season eight of "The Crown" the best one yet. Ironically, by stepping away from being a prince, Harry has become the ultimate Prince Charming. A happy day for Harry and Meghan is a sad day for The Daily Mail. Meanwhile, racists like Piers Morgan are claiming victory for the Megxit, arguing that her decision proves their thesis that she is a selfish sociopath. Meanwhile, Harry and Meghan are packing up Frogmore Cottage with their adorable baby, and have already perfected the royal wave goodbye.
The name "Harvey Weinstein," once synonymous with campaigning for Best Picture like it was the race for president, has become synonymous with sexual harassment, and rightfully so. The sentient wart has been accused of misconduct by over eighty women, and beginning last Monday, two will be heard in court. While Weinstein's alleged abuse has spanned continents and decades, the two accusations being heard by the Supreme Court of New York in Manhattan are allegedly forcing oral sex on a film production assistant and alleged rape, reported by a woman who remains anonymous, and her story is not publicly known. At the same time jury selection was beginning in New York, Weinstein was indicted on new sex crimes charges in Los Angeles, proving that everyone is going bicoastal these days.
Another day, another person loudly broadcasting their opinion on Lizzo's weight even though nobody asked. This time, it's Jillian Michaels, that celebrity trainer who got big by torturing contestants and audiences on "The Biggest Loser" last decade. Michaels appeared on BuzzFeed's "AM2DM" show and talked about an earlier interview with Women's Health U.K., when she said, "I think we’re politically correct to the point of endangering people. Yes, we want to be inclusive of everyone [and respect that] everyone comes in all different shapes and sizes." BuzzFeed asked her about the quotes, and she repeated her point, saying, "Why are we celebrating her body? Why does it matter? Why aren't we celebrating her music? 'Cause it isn't gonna be awesome if she gets diabetes." Lizzo fans... and just people who are sick of fat-shaming in general... erupted. Many pointed out that actually, heavier people aren't the only people with health issues. Others took Jillian's side, expressing concern for Lizzo's health. She wrote, "As I've stated repeatedly, we are all beautiful, worthy, and equally deserving. I also feel strongly that we love ourselves enough to acknowledge here are serious health consequences that come with obesity... heart disease, diabetes, cancer to name only a few. I would never wish these for ANYONE and I would hope we prioritize our health because we LOVE ourselves and our bodies." Still, people are fed up with the scrutiny plus-sized celebs face when we actually have no knowledge of their health. Why is it okay to comment on larger people's bodies, when doing the same with thin people has been taboo for years now? And others pointed out that based on her performances, Lizzo's fitness and stamina level seem to be above average if anything. Still, many stand with Jillian and refuse to budge. For her part, Lizzo recently quit Twitter for her mental health. And what's she up to right now?
Jillian, your move.
A model billing herself as “The Naked Philanthropist” offered nude photos in exchange for donations to go towards Australia’s bushfires. Baring it all in the name of charity is certainly a novel way of raising funds for relief efforts. Kayla Ward is an online sex worker from Los Angeles. She already sells nude photos of herself. Ward sympathized with Australia after watching the raging bushfires. She decided she wanted to help. So she offered a solution with this racy campaign...
Attached to her tweet is a screenshot of the list of Australian charities and organizations followers can send contributions to. Ward’s promotion paid off, her tweet has received well over 75,000 retweets. She finally resorted to hiring a team of four people, also sex workers, to sort through thousands of DMs to verify donation transactions. She raised $500,000 in just two days. Ward was shocked. “I was expecting to raise maybe $1,000 but the tweet blew up.” The 20-year-old commented to Buzzfeed News about the mainstream media coverage of Australia’s unprecedented devastation. “I was seeing all the posts on Twitter about the Australian fires and I was really concerned there wasn’t a lot of media coverage and not a lot of people donating.” Ward can definitely empathize with the plight of those in Australia. Last summer, Ward and her family were forced to evacuate and found themselves in a houseboat during the Carr fire in California that ravaged 200,000 acres. Their home survived but some of her neighbors’ houses did not fare so well. “I got to see firsthand how many people were affected.” Even though she began her campaign on Twitter, Instagram shut down her account... where she has over 500,000 followers... citing guideline violations by posting “sexually suggestive content.” Ward denied violating Instagram’s policies. However people like Nellie R. on Twitter made it clear they were reporting Ward’s accounts because of their own personal beliefs. Ward has yet to hear from Instagram after reaching out to keep her page active. Fake accounts began popping up to exploit her philanthropy. Despite the wrench thrown into her plans, she stayed the course in the name of charity. Her followers continued supporting Ward... and suggested she keep contacting the image-sharing site with an appeal. Back over on Twitter, Ward and her team remain dedicated to responding to her DMs. She has managed to raise roughly $700K in donations so far, as of Monday. It’s unclear if the totals are in Australian dollars or U.S. dollars, but either way it is impressive. There are still over 100 fires burning across New South Wales and the smoke pollution with an air quality index that is 23 times higher than hazardous levels is becoming an additional concern. If nude photos aren’t your thing, don’t ask for one. Just donate. You can help the cause by making contributions to a wide variety of charities... including helping those displaced through the Australian Red Cross and firefighters through the NSW Rural Fire Service. You can donate to the GoFundMe dedicated to displaced First Nations/Indigenous Australian Communities that need to rebuild. Donate to WIRES, a wildlife rescue nonprofit that is rescuing and caring for thousands of sick, injured and orphaned native animals or to the RSPCA New South Wales, which is helping evacuate, rescue and treat pets and wildlife in threatened areas.
A 23-year-old woman from Portland, Oregon is now facing charges of bias crimes after physically assaulting a 24-year-old woman from Saudi Arabia with the woman’s own hijab. Both women were students at Portland State University. They both were at a campus Mac stop, but had never met each other before. Jasmine Renee Campbell then physically assaulted the foreign exchange student from Saudi Arabia, who wished to remain anonymous. Campbell pulled the woman’s hijab from her head and then attempted to strangle her with it. Afterward, Campbell removed all of her clothes and rubbed the hijab on her breasts and genitals. Campbell faces charges of attempted strangulation, harassment, criminal mischief and the committing of a hate crime. The woman from Saudi Arabia stated she no longer feels safe wearing her hijab after Campbell’s assault against her on campus. She now wears a hat to cover her head instead of her traditional hijab headwear. Campbell claimed she never wanted to hurt the other woman and behaved the way she did as a result of an episode of heavy drinking. She also claimed she was seeking help for her mental health condition, which she claimed was the reason for her no-show at her official hearing this week. According to other news sources, there is now a warrant out for the Campbell’s arrest after missing her court date on the morning of January 3rd, despite her reasons for not appearing. People are baffled by the situation, and what feels like an influx of hate crimes recently. It’s unclear yet when Campbell’s rescheduled hearing will be. The actions Portland State University plans to take were not immediately available.
So, did you see this on CNBC on Monday?
The CNBC graphics person is not only dumb, but racist. This person may very well be named Andrew Yang, but they're not the Andrew Yang who is running for president.
They tell me if I go to Walmart I'm gonna see some odd sights. I didn't believe it, until I saw this...
Ummmm... yeah. If I had a TARDIS I would go and meet Elvis Presley, but knowing my luck I'd see him in the Army looking miserable...
I seldom will make a mistake here on the Phile but if it happens it happens. Journalists sometimes make mistakes... not saying I'm a journalist. Anyway, here is another great, cringe-inducing journalistic nightmare of the 2010s for you to laugh at before a whole lot more is made in the 2020s...
Thank you. Hey, future kids, this is Beto O’Rourke...
Kids, did you ever notice the Dodge Viper logo looks like Daffy Duck upside down? No? I will show you...
Told you so. Last 2019 was quite a year. There were many ups and downs, but one thing we can all agree on is that the memes were lit. Tons of memes made us laugh in 2019, but a select few went crazy viral. Area 51 memes gave us all hope we were going to "find them aliens" in 2019. Spoiler alert: we didn't.
Hahahaha. So, when I saw this...
It reminded me of something, Then it hit me...
Hahahahahahaha. If you're thinking of cheating on your loved one you might think twice after seeing this...
Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Things Said By Teachers So Far This Year
5. You know you're an educator when your response to being cut off on the highway is "that's not a safe choice."
4. There should be teacher dating apps where you can just meet single teachers in your area and spend your nights marking papers together and no one judges you for bringing your work home...
3. Sitting in a professional development where they lecture about how to not lecture kids. For hours.
2. I’ve already written 2019 in three emails and spent the last twenty minutes wondering why my calendar for Monday was so empty. Fab.
And the number one thing said by teachers so far this year is...
1. Is it Friday yet?
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It's Thursday... you know what that means.
That's fucking gross. That has to be the worst one yet. Yeesh. Okay, moving on... it's time to talk football with my good friend Jeff.
Me: Hey, Jeff, welcome back to the Phile. How is it going? What's new?
Jeff: Hey Jason, always glad to be back here on the Phile. What's new? Well, I started my second podcast. This one focuses on my love of the paranormal. That's right, I'm doing a spooky podcast! You can find "Real Paranormal Talk" on CKCCRadio.Podbean.com. I know it's a shameless plug and I don't care!
Me: It's great! You can always plug something here on the Phile. I will check it out. Well, luckily for Giants fans, Jason Garrett will not be the next head coach in New York. After a report that the G-Men had requested permission to interview former Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett, Adam Schefter is now reporting that the Giants have their man, former Patriots WR coach Joe Judge. What do you think of this?
Jeff: The coaching carousel has been a very interesting one, especially in the NFC East. It's an interesting pick. I've never heard of the guy, but then again most fans don't hear about special teams coaches very often. Clearly something in his interview blew the Giants away so they went after him.
Me: And less than 12 hours after officially firing head coach Jason Garrett, the Cowboys have their guy. According to Fox’s Jay Glazer, Dallas has agreed to terms with former Packers head coach Mike McCarthy. Is this a good move as well?
Jeff: The problem with the Cowboys selecting Mike McCarthy to be their head coach, at one point he was rumored to be the Giants next coach before they selected Judge. New York love their judges. The Yankees have Aaron Judge and now the Giants have a Judge! But in all seriousness, the NFC East for being the jumblefuck that it was last season... three of the four teams found new head coaches in the offseason. I do think it's a good move. McCarthy is a proven coach and has experience with a top QB.
Me: The Patriots lost! Yay!!! It'll be good to see another team win the Super Bowl this year. Anyway, the loss that could very well be the end of the Patriots dynasty as we know it. Joining the celebration of the Patriots loss was former Pats wide out Antonio Brown, who called out the Patriots after the game...
Me: What do you think of that? Haha.
Jeff: Sadly that's not the only thing Antonio Clown tweeted. There's this little beaut...
Jeff: Someone needs to remind him that he was eliminated a long time ago. Oh wait. I already did!
Me: Tom Brady says it's “pretty unlikely” he retires but doesn’t commit to returning to the Patriots. Hmmmm. What do you think he'll do? Where do you think he'll go?
Jeff: I honestly think Tom Brady winds up back in New England. I think what we're seeing is much ado about nothing. Didn't think you'd all see a Shakespeare reference here today, did you?
Me: Nope. I sure didn't. He did it again, Jeff. Booger McFarland drew a huge penis on screen during the Texans-Bills game. No, you aren’t back in middle school but the words "booger" and "penis" are back in the same sentence. Booger McFarland has somehow been more memeable than Jason Witten was last season with his uber-generic remarks, and he’s now made a habit of accidentally drawing huge penises on screen during telecasts. Saturday’s Texans-Bills game was no different. Check it out...
Me: He's doing this on purpose, right? He has to be!
Jeff: Yup. That's a penis. Booger drew a penis. Insert Beavis and Butthead laughing here. I'd like to say Booger is still learning on the job, but that's now two times he's drawn a big yellow cock on our televisions.
Me: So, what NFL news do you have?
Jeff: There's not a lot of news right now that we haven't covered with the coaching moves. For me the best story is the return of JJ Watt. Eight weeks ago he had what we were all told was "season ending surgery." He played in the game this past weekend. He's like "Season ending? Nah I'm good." Plus we saw the return of Beast Mode Marshawn Lynch in Seattle.
Me: America has taken back another team from Britain and renamed it and changed the logo...
Me: What do you think?
Jeff: I like that logo. I mean it would be cooler if it was the Jacksonville Jeffs, but that's not very patriotic. So I can understand why it's not.
Me: Okay, so, how did we do with wild card week?
Jeff: We did not do good. Or well. Or even decent. We both went 1-2 in the wild card. So no change in the standings.
Me: Let's pick the first play-off weeks picks... I say 49ers will win by 7 and Chiefs will win by 13. What do you say?
Jeff: I'll pick the other two games to make it even more interesting. I'll go Ravens by 9 and Green Bay by 5.
Me: Okay, I will see you back here next Thursday. Only a few weeks left. Have a good week!
Jeff: See you next week!
The 112th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Joe will be on the Phile in a few weeks. I like Joe even though he played for the wrong New York team. Okay, so, we all know the movie trope: a happy family dynamic is quickly unraveled when a gorgeous nanny enters the picture. Maybe the marriage was already on the rocks, but neither partner was ready to admit it until there was another effortlessly beautiful woman connecting with their children, and being exposed to their truth. In other cases, the nanny herself isn't interested but the husband's wandering eye is hard to hide, and the wife sees it and takes note. While these scenarios are reductive in the ways they pit women against each other, assume the worst of straight men, and undermine the fact that nannying is a career women do for money... not the male gaze, the stereotype in pop culture still informs how some people make their decisions in real life. In a recent email sent to me a Phile reader and mom asked if she's wrong for feeling uncomfortable hiring an attractive younger nanny.
"My husband and I are pregnant with our third child we were looking to get a nanny to help out for the first two years. I am planning on returning to work in two months after I deliver." She shared that she's planning to return to work two months after giving birth to her third child, so she's been looking with her husband for a good nanny. "I am a bit uncomfortable having another woman in the house to be honest especially someone younger and more attractive than me. I trust my husband I just don’t want to invite that risk to my home." However, she admits she feels uncomfortable hiring a younger, more attractive nanny (despite trusting her husband), and turned down two of the potential nannies for that reason. "When we were interviewing candidates I rejected two of the nannies despite them being qualified in everything we were looking for." While her husband agrees they should hire someone she's comfortable with, he pointed out that it's sexist to deny women the position just because they're young and pretty. "My husband told me that he doesn’t want to pick anyone that we aren’t both comfortable with around our children. But if I am rejecting them just based on their age and attractiveness that its sexist." She agrees in theory, but thinks the situation is different given the fact the nanny will be in their home. "I agree with my husband, in that if I was applying for a job and I got turned down for my age or level of attractiveness it would be upsetting but I feel that there should be an exception for someone that will be in our house all day. In his words that it shows that I am a sexist when I am the employer or the one in power. I don’t know. What should I do and am I wrong?" Hmmm... The nanny's going to get to see your husband everyday. They'll see the bad side of him as much as you do. It’s not like the nanny will see him at work or out socially when people put on their best personality. They will see him when he tells you the kid had diarrhea all night or that the teen stuck a pen up their nose and it’s stuck. Also, young nannies usually don’t want to date a married guy with three kids. Hope some of that comforts you. Regardless of what decision she and her husband make moving forward, it sounds like a long and honest talk about their marriage and insecurities is much needed. If you have a problem and you want me to help email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com.
Buck Henry
December 9th, 1930 — January 8th, 2020
Say what you will about the guy who played the pedophile babysitter on "SNL"... I liked him.
Sam Wyche
January 5th, 1945 — January 5th, 2020
No huddle.
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So, ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "Its pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."
Me: Chilly, welcome to the Phile. I love you name. How are you?
Chilly: Thank you, thanks for having me. Call me "Gonzo."
Me: Haha. Okay, Gonzo, you have a song on your new album titled "Chico." Is that Chico Marx?
Chilly: Yeah, it's inspired by Chico Marx who is probably the first non-stick up piano player I ever saw.
Me: Haha. So, I was right! It was just a guess. Why Chico Marx?
Chilly: My grandfather was all about respectful the composer, he was introducing me to classical music then when I saw Chico Marx play piano I think it was Night of the Opera, he performs on the ship, I thought here's a musician who respects an audience, not just the composer.
Me: The piece is instrumental, so is there anything about it that incorporates Chico?
Chilly: I would just say it's the playful nature of the shifting tempos that is just sort of drawing out the entertainment value of musical storytelling. I think that's one thing I can remember when I was watching that sequence, there's a lot of false virtuosity.
Me: What does that mean?
Chilly: False virtuosity means he's playing quickly the way it seems quite technically accomplished but it's all in service of the playfulness. When you're a composer/performer you write music for yourself, and that means I could write for my own technique. There's moments where it might seem very virtuositc but all I've done is write for myself, write to my own strengths, and that's around to getting around the ides of am I a pianist or not. I'm a good pianist when I'm writing for myself and I think that translates to what Chico Marx did when he was being a false virtuoso and what I do in that piece.
Me: Chilly, where are you from, sir? I want to say Mexico or Spain... am I right?
Chilly: No, Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
Me: Oh, wow. I was wrong. And I used the wrong graphic for the interview. Hahaha. Anyway, that piece about Chico is pretty fast, am I right?
Chilly: This is for piano nerds, but this is a little trick that I cribbed from gypsy accordionist. They have a strange arm and hand position, and they developed this way of playing the four note of nugget that I'm repeating up and down the keyboard. If I would play those four notes with four fingers, which is what you'd expect the pianist to do. I have four notes to play, I'm going to line up my hand and put my arm in a very strange position as well. The accordionist have this trick where a finger falls from the black notes to the white notes. When I play those four notes, in fact the first two I'm playing with one single finger. This is really nerdy but when my finger drops from a black key to a white key I can actually do that with a single finger. It means suddenly I can play super fast. If I tried to do in the way you'd expect my arm would be in a really difficult position and I wouldn't be nearly as precise and playful with it. So to accomplish entertainment there is a lot of technique that goes into it, but I want the technique to be mostly invisible so I can obtain that sort of playfulness.
Me: Wow. Okay. You're pulling back the curtain here on the Phile. Do you know that?
Chilly: Of course, We're living in an open source era. If you feel something it's always nice to analyse it. When I do a video on YouTube where I might try to explain the music theory behind a Daft Punk song at first it's because I love the song, it passes the goose bump test, and then I might be interested what is behind it what gives me those goose bumps.
Me: When did you start playing piano, sir?
Chilly: Well, with my strict grandfather who as I said is all about respect for the composer, not losing touch with I guess his European culture that he was forced to leave. He was a Hungarian Jew and left, not of his own free will, he was forced to leave for survival. I think he wanted his grandchildren to not lose touch with that. At a very early age, I think age three, I was put in front of the piano and told this was an important place to be. Then of course next that was the beginning of Much Music and watching Lionel Richie dance of the ceiling. I thought that looks fun, and I guess my whole career was trying to bridge that gap.
Me: What were the first pieces you were playing? I'm guessing studies.
Chilly: Yeah, of course. There was this Bach piece I had to play, "Prelude in C Major." actually on "Solo Piano III," my new album I did a piece called "Prelude in C-Sharp Major." Again that's another iconic piece of music someone would hear the wall of some apartment because of some kid learning it, and it would be ceased to be judged as a piece of music. Those pieces really interest me, pieces of music that take on more than their own musical information but become sort of part of the culture. What else did I play? Just with my brother I remember playing "Heart and Soul." Also pretty good in minor.
Me: Was there a moment where you relaxed you could bridge these two worlds with the piano?
Chilly: It was entertaining my family. Entertaining my family was coming at the end of I think any hours being alone spent at the piano and then presenting he fruits of that labour. To my family I was like this is very interesting. I was very disciplined for some hours to prepare something. I was a good student, I was hard on myself. But the came the moment where I played to for my family and they laughed and smiled at me and I felt that I had value. I suddenly realised what all that preparation was for. I think that might be what I'm trying to get across in my music school, the Gonservatory that I started. I sort of realised the call it being ham for a reason. I'm not surprised this metaphor is for letting the animal out. I prepare in discipline but I let go in execution when I'm finally in front of people I'm not an artist anymore. I am an entertainer. That's the sort of euphony, not putting words on it at the time, I felt the difference between the solitude and he say that my brain was working to prepare and how if felt to finally get in front of my family and entertain them. I was hooked, I don't really think of it as making music unless there is at least one other person listening. It's the one reason perhaps when I'm in the studio I have a little more difficulty, I feel like I'm guessing at which is listening. One year from now someone's going to hear this album, and I have no idea which context they'll hear it. It's very different if I'm on stage, I try to feel the audience. I can't really do that in the studio, perhaps that's why I don't see myself as being particularly good in the studio. What I do happens when someone's in front of me listening.
Me: Didn't you take some time off from performing?
Chilly: In 2016 I took a sabbatical year. That was the first time I realised that is something I haven't tried yet in 20 years of my career is stopping getting in front of people despite the fact that I excel in that situation. I did want to see what it felt like to deny myself that. The pieces, I believe, go a little deeper than the other solo piano albums which were written as part of that fast lifestyle of constantly being on aeroplanes and trains and getting in front of people.
Me: So, if you're not playing music for anybody are you playing music at all?
Chilly: No, what I'm doing alone is preparing for that moment. It just meant I was preparing for an entire year.
Me: Ahhh. So, when you're alone what do you think you are?
Chilly: I like to say I'm an artist when I'm alone. I was an artist for a whole year.
Me: Did you enjoy it?
Chilly: It was a wonderful thing actually. I used to be quite hard on the word "artist" but truth is in 2016 I think I made some peace with it and I realised I AM an artist, it's just I am an artist when I'm alone.
Me: Do you ever wish you played another instrument other than piano?
Chilly: Well, yeah, the piano is weak. Once I hit a note there's nothing I can do to change the sound, whereas the human voice of course can add vibrato and look for the "blue note" to play more flat and more sharp. However the piano compensates for this with all the little tricks. So if I can't find a blue note, I just look for it. There's two notes that are the shortest possible distance between notes. In a way wasn't Beethoven pointing out the possibility in playing a blue note when he wrote "Für Elise"? So there's something about the weakness of the piano that fascinated composers. You can't really keep notes going like you can on a violin, where someone can literally keep their hand going back and forth with the bow and play forever. You can't do that with a piano because it dies, but with a pedal we get more time. They say the piano is the orchestra when there's an opera being rehearsed and they can't afford an orchestra until the last two weeks of rehearsals. For the other six months of releasing they have a pianist. It's the only instrument that could credibly imitate rhythm and or course it can do harmony and melody. Can any instrument do that?
Me: Hmmmm... the guitar.
Chilly: Perhaps the guitar in some way, it's portable. That's a nice advantage. But truly it's the piano that has an atomic level of music. When a piano plays alone all the bases of what music is supposed to be... melody, harmony, rhythm and sound.
Me: When you're composing is that satisfying?
Chilly: I don't think in terms with being a pianist. I'm a musician who happens to play the piano. It's this atomic level of instrument, which means if I want to conceive a complete music the piano is just the easiest way to do it. My best teachers when I was growing up were guitarists, drummers, they taught me about music, how to tell a story, chord progressions, how to leave space, what to do to tickle the ear of the listener. These are skills that if I was stuck too much in my instrumental identity I'll never learn. I think it's too dangerous for musicians to get cut up in their instrumental identity. Yes, there's different parts of the body that are engaged for different instrument, and every instrumentalist has his or her own map of music viewed through the prism of that instrument. But these twelve notes, all through western music, from classical to today's pop music, these twelve notes have still reined supreme. You walk to a studio where they make rap music you're gong to see some drum machines, you will definitely see a synthesizer which have these twelve notes of the piano just rendered on keys that are made of plastic then there isn't a mechanism to hear the music right away but that prism is still through which musicians see music. At least in the western world.
Me: So, I have to ask you about the Gonservatory. What was that exactly?
Chilly: That was a performance bootcamp. I feel like music was a performance for hundreds of years, then there was this aberration called recording. We suddenly thought there's a permanent record, which is why it's called the record of a song against which all other subsequent performances would be measured. It's kind of terrifying for a musician. So, I thought how can I get younger musicians who grew up in this Soundcloud era who in a really wonderful way could make music on their own, on their computer, post it and feel like they're starting to communicate with their audience. How do I make sure they don't lose touch in what music really was. In a spiritual way music was someone in a cave hitting a drum and somebody listening and maybe laughing or dancing, So how do I get young musicians to understand not only the spiritual way not only to feel connected to the musicians that came before us but that's also a way to make a living, as a young musician? So I went out of my way to sort of develop techniques that would force them to trust their instincts. To create a kind of controlled discomfort within they could compose and perform music, I've done it once now, they wrote music during that week under pressure, literally with egg timers going for ten minutes or fifteen minutes with constraints. They had to bridge the gap from coming from different cultures, different musical styles, there was rapper from Texas, a saxophonist from Ukraine, classical guitarist from Ghana, I had a singer songwriter from Argentina we nicknamed "Mexican Feist" at one point. So we had all these people that are forced to make music together for the common ground and not have so much comfort they they feel like they even have a chance at perfectionism.
Me: Gonzo, this would make a great reality TV show. Did you think of that?
Chilly: We had cameras filming almost every moment of the actual work. It wasn't reality TV, they weren't filmed in their personal moments. When we were working the cameras were on them, that was part of it. We wanted them to feel that pressure, that discomfort, to confront the fear of humiliation. When someone goes on stage and get an adrenaline rush which is replicating probably early man, flight or flight response, the stakes very very high. Life or death. On stage the stakes aren't quite as high, it's fear of humiliation rather than the fear of death. If they can make friends of that fear of humiliation then sort of acknowledge it, let the audience know by taking risks. it's a little like a magic trick, like Houdini saying, "I'm going to go into this box of water and get my way out." It is a kind of escape routine every time they go up on sage, they have to escape from the "box" they put themselves in.
Me: There's a piece on the album called "October 3rd." What's the significance behind that date?
Chilly: That is a date I can't really explain the details because it's to private. I chose what to share with my audience because I know if I don't share anything I miss out on a chance to create a bond and maybe for the music to have more resonance. "October 3rd" is a benign title because I want people to know emotionally this piece is different, this piece is even dedicated to myself. I want people to know this is the emotional core of the album, of course I don't want to say why.
Me: You dedicated it to yourself?
Chilly: Yes. Jason Beck. I dedicated it to myself because it's a piece that I wrote on that day on something that was life changing.
Me: Ahhh... I didn't know your real name was Jason Beck. Okay, I'm gonna be honest, there's a song on the album that the first part I can't stand, it makes me so frustrated, but the second half is so much better. Do you know what song I'm talking about?
Chilly: Yeah, it's a song called "Be Natural" as in the imperative. Why can't I be natural? Something that humans will often struggle with. Maybe in that sabbatical year I became comfortable with the dissonance or wrong notes in my own life and in music. When I wrote it I thought it was pretty good but it felt a little like romanticism or too cheesy maybe. I thought what if I delayed the resolution, those last two notes. The first one is technically the wrong note and then resolves up. I tie a little bow on it, that's what Chopin would've done, that's what any opera composers would've down with the same sort of wrong note... ha ha ha. Just kidding. Everything's fine. I thought what if I leave that longer and let it hang there. But stillI thought could I go further? Have I got to a point in my own life even with this dissonance I could see as reality. Not need to use music as to tie a bow on my own emotions, And I wanted to see if I could just let it hang there. Maybe just to hear that about five times during the song the ear would get used to it just as a human would get used to an uncountable situation. See it not just as a negative, but how things are. The of it is the piece is in F major and the wrong note is called B natural.
Me: Yeesh, that was deep, sir. Haha. Thanks, sir, for being on the Phile. This was such deep interview. I hope it was fun and I hope you'll come back.
Chilly: I might, Jason. Thank you.
That about doers it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz and of course Chilly Gonzales. The Phile will be back on Monday with Dennis Drew from 10,000 Maniacs. Then next Thursday I have to mention the guest will be Céline Dion. Yes. The one and only Céline Dion. Is that a big deal? Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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