Sunday, February 18, 2018

Pheaturing Burt Ward

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? Are you watching the Olympics? I'm at an age where I take Tylenol just to watch it. Watching the Olympics has inspired me to see how far I can push my procrastination.
Gus Kenworthy is an Olympic freestyle skier representing Team U.S.A. in Pyeongchang and won a silver medal in Sochi. Kenworthy is openly gay, and celebrated the Opening Ceremonies with his fellow gay Olympian Adam Rippon, who pissed off Vice President Mike Pence by speaking up against Pence's harmful, homophobic policies. Kenworthy tweeted on Thursday that he unfortunately broke his thumb during practice, but thankfully it won't stop him from skiing. He did, however, find a silver lining.

Kenworthy joked. In addition to wishing him well, people loved the Pence joke, except for one girl, to whom he clapped back.

Sorry, lady. Ya burnt. Get well soon, Gus! And kill it out there!
There are few forces in the universe as enduring and potentially humiliating as a mother's love, and Oscar-winning actress Sally Fields proves no exception to this rule. Pretty much the whole world has fallen in love with the first openly gay Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon for both his athletic abilities and flawless Twitter feed. And Fields' son, Sam Griesam, also took note of Rippon's talent and charm. Alongside many of you, Griesam formed a full-fledged crush on the Olympian skater. When Fields caught wind of the crush, she immediately urged her son to make an actual move. Griesam shared a screenshot of the playful mother and son text exchange with his Twitter followers. However, being the most motherly matchmaker of them all, Fields didn't let Griesam off easy. She took matters into her own hands and tagged Rippon in a tweet. Of course, this immediately embarrassed him. But the rest of the Internet loved watching the exchange unfold. Plus, if Rippon sees this, he'll understand that moms are unbounded by the conventions of social media. At the time of writing, Rippon has yet to respond to the tweet. But that's hardly surprising given his busy Olympics schedule. Nonetheless, Twitter fans and followers will be eagerly waiting to see how Rippon responds to this particularly thirsty mention.
If you time traveled to the year 2004 and told Americans that Donald Trump would be president, and Omarosa Manigault would be the White House Director of Communications, you would've been laughed to the bank. But alas, here we are, with Trump as president, and Omarosa as a former White House employee now living her life on "Celebrity Big Brother." On the Friday episode of "Celebrity Big Brother," the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" alum Brandi Glanville asked Omarosa, "Did you ever sleep with him?" When Glanville was asked to clarify who she was referring to, she answered, "Trump." "Hell no! Of course not. Brandi, that’s horrible," Omarosa replied. She then went on to hint that another woman in the White House has been sleeping around. "I’m not... there’s somebody in the White House that’s sleeping around with everybody. But she is not me, I’ve never had to do that," Omarosa said. Despite being nudged both by Glanville and the voyeuristic curiosity of Americans across the country, Omarosa declined to name names. Glanville, however, went on to muse that she'd heard Trump had slept with a handful of "Celebrity Apprentice" contestants. In the spirit of Omarosa, Glanville also didn't name names. "But you never heard my name did you?” Omarosa asked. “No,“ Glanville replied. “He seemed to like you so much, I was just wondering.” “God no,” Omarosa emphasized, “I’m just ratings gold.” It looks like there's yet another mystery for the American people to crack open.
During its first weekend in theaters, Marvel's Black Panther is already breaking records. So far, Black Panther has surpassed all other superhero movies for ticket presales, it currently stands as the highest-rated superhero film on Rotten Tomatoes, and it hits the top of the ranks for Thursday night preview records for a Marvel film. All that being said, it's pretty obvious that people are 100% here for this movie. In fact, Twitter user @Stevelikescups and an accomplice wanted to see the movie so bad they stacked themselves inside a trench coat in hopes of scoring a 2-for-1 deal. Check it out...

Honestly, their beautiful dedication should get them both in for free. Somehow, the movie theater manager noticed something different about the suspiciously tall man in the trench coat. Fans of "Bojack Horseman" were quick to draw comparisons to Vincent Adultman, a character who is (not so) secretly three kids stacked in a trench coat. Now they have a Halloween costume ready for fall. Other movie goers were duly impressed by the spectacle of the guys staked in the trench coat. I want to know where one finds a jacket that large?! It CAN'T be Burlington, that's too obvious. While they didn't get a 2-for-1 Black Panther screening deal, they DID elicit a lot of online appreciation and cultural references. Still, I think this amount of effort at least deserved a suspiciously tall free popcorn. Speaking of Black Panther... Racist trolls online have not been handling it well, and have been spreading claims of fake violence at screenings. To make matters worse, trolls are not only spreading false claims, but they've been stealing photos of victims of actual violence for their sick aims. One of the stolen photos features a woman who was attacked at a bar in Sweden last month, while another is of an ex-wife of former Trump staffer and serial abuser Rob Porter. Luckily, people online have been quick to refute these ugly and false claims, with many pointing out the origins of the photos. These claims embody a disgusting mix of pure racism and deep disrespect to domestic violence victims. Luckily, it appears that not very many people believe them.
With all the insane stories on the Internet, it's a marvel that planes ever take off and land at all. This week's crazy plane istory is brought to you by Delta Airlines, and a woman who freaked the fuck out at a baby. Yes, a baby. "USA Today" reports that on a flight from New York City to Syracuse, New York, a state employee freaking out at the sight of a baby, saying she "work(s) for the governor" and insisting on a new seat away from the child in the back. The baby's mom, Marissa Rundell, filmed the woman begging a flight attendant to let her stay on the plane, but up in the first class. Nice try, lady. The video has more than 1.5 million views, because everyone can relate... either with the mom or the baby-hater. "This lady thought she was going to be rude to me and Mason now she has no way home today. Thank you to the lovely Delta flight attendant for not letting this women bully us." Rundell wrote on Facebook. "Karma is a bastard." The woman works at New York State's Council on the Arts, and according to "USA Today," has been placed on leave pending an investigation of her conduct. The Council on the Arts spokesperson said state employees "must be held to the highest standard both professionally and personally." This leaves Rundell feeling torn. "I feel bad because of it, because I know it's because I posted that video," Rundell said. "A part of me feels like she's getting what she deserved. And then another part of me just feels bad that it's happening, because I don't know her story."
There are some Olympians that are worth watching because they are attractive... like Akuoma Omeoga from Nigeria for instance...

Hey, so I saw this ad and think I wanna buy it...

Not that I need it or anything... So, did you see the new trailer for The Incredibles 2? If you didn;t I have a screenshot to show you...

She's hot. Hahahaha. Hey, do you remember Taylor Lautner? This is him now...

Hahahahaha. That is sooo stupid. That's as stupid as...

Christian Bale! Get it? Hahahaha. Alright, so if I had a TARDIS I would go back in time to the see of the Batman movie.

So, I was supposed to Google "Sharknado" but by accident I Googled "Sharknato" and this is what I got...

Hahaha. You know, if you ever think you're having bad luck just think it could be worse. This could happen to you...

That has actually happened to me before. It sucks. Ever notice technology is getting smaller and smaller? It's not just technology...

I can't stand marshmallows... I'd get a headache. So, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, some things happen in Florida that shouldn't happen nowhere else but they do.

On Wednesday, 17 people were killed when a 19-year-old former student opened fire with a semiautomatic AR-15 rifle at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida. Many people watched the events unfold in horror, and expressed their anger at the inaction of lawmakers after such massacres, the Florida shooting being the 18th on school grounds this year. Fox News talking head Tomi Lahren was absolutely aghast that people would respond to a gun massacre with a plea to stop people from acquiring military-grade weapons. Yes. Take a deep breath. Won't somebody think of... the guns? A woman who identified as a student at Stoneman Douglas High School, Kyra, was not sympathetic to Lahren's sympathy towards the guns. Kyra said that not only is now the time to talk about guns, it's also too late for many. The tweet quickly went viral. Kyra's other tweets after the shooting are absolutely heartbreaking. She also responded to President Trump's reaction to the horror.

She tweeted...

Another survivor, David Hogg, called on the government tasked with taking care of the people to do something to keep people safe.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, everyone is talking about gun laws again because of the last mass shooting so I wondered what a friend of the Phile had to say. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know want time it is...

Good morning, phuckerz. Fact: NO gun law in place or to be enacted could EVER keep a gun out of the hands of a person with bad intentions in mind. I could make one phone call right now and have an illegal gun of my choosing delivered to my home in a half hour for anywhere between $200 and $500. Stronger gun laws and/or bans will ONLY keep guns out of the hands of Law Abiding Citizens NOT criminals or nut cases... because THEY don’t obey ANY laws. People are fucking morons. The only way gun control laws are going to protect you from guns is if you spray paint the words “Gun Control Laws” on your Kevlar bullet proof vest. We must understand one simple idea. If ONE building can be “secured” then they ALL can be. Why is it that we can secure and lock down banks, courts, prisons and federal buildings... but not schools? Try having the same screening processes and armed security at schools that we have at federal buildings. That would be a good start at keeping our kids safe... right? Wrong... we won’t do that because it’s not considered cost effective by the powers that be... the ones who decide how much money we spend on our broken education system in this country. This is not a game... this is the safety of our children.

Hey, wanna play a game?

Which one is it? Potato or Amy? Hahaha.

Donald Trump allegedly had an extramarital affair with former Playmate of the Year Karen McDougal before he was elected, according to Ronan Farrow's new piece in the "New Yorker." The White House has already called the story "fake news" (surprise!), but in addition to speaking to McDougal, Farrow also got ahold of an eight-page, handwritten note that McDougal had given her friend, spilling all the details of her affair with Trump. In June 2006, Trump taped an episode of his show, "The Apprentice," at the Playboy Mansion. Afterwards, Hugh Hefner threw a pool party, and that's where Trump met McDougal. At the time, Trump was already married to Melania (née Knauss), and their young son, Barron, was just a few months old. But Trump didn't let that stop him from flirting so heavily with McDougal that a "Playboy" executive reportedly said, "Wow, he was all over you... I think you could be his next wife." Four days before the 2016 election, on November 4th, there was a story in the "Wall Street Journal" detailing how the publisher of the "National Enquirer," American Media, Inc., bought the rights to McDougal's story from her for $150,000. They never ran the story though, just bought the rights to it, which is not that surprising, given that the CEO and chairman of A.M.I., David Pecker, has called Donald Trump "a personal friend." Tabloids buying a story in order to bury it is apparently very common, and called a "catch and kill." McDougal didn't discuss the details of her alleged relationship with Trump with Farrow, because she was worried about violating the agreement she made with A.M.I. But she did say that she regretted signing the contract, telling Farrow, “It took my rights away. At this point I feel I can’t talk about anything without getting into trouble, because I don’t know what I’m allowed to talk about. I’m afraid to even mention his name.” You can read the whole fascinating story at the "New Yorker."

The 75th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Bruce will be the guest on the Phile tomorrow. And now for some Batman...

Phact 1. Christian Bale refused to play Batman if Robin appeared anywhere in the trilogy.

Phact 2. Batman was created not just by Bob Kane, but also a partner, Bill Finger, who was never credited for anything Batman related until recently. He is responsible for the original ideas of the Batman’s persona, costume, Gotham, characters, etc.

Phact 3. In 2011, two teenagers in Vancouver, Canada lured multiple pedophiles online by posing as a 15-year-old girl, only to show up at the meeting spot as Batman and the Flash to record them.

Phact 4. The settlement that became Melbourne, Australia was founded by a guy named John Batman. Places named after him include Batman’s Hill, Batman Bridge, and Batman Park

Phact 5. Also, Melbourne was originally called Batmania and its founding document is called Batman’s Treaty.

Holy interviews, Batman, this is so cool. Today's pheatured guest is an American actor and activist widely known for his portrayal of Robin, the sidekick of Batman (played by Adam West), in the television series "Batman" (1966–1968), its theatrical feature film, the 1977 Saturday Morning animated series "The New Adventures of Batman," "Legends of the Superheroes" and two animated feature films Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders and Batman vs. Two-Face. He also founded a charitable organization called Gentle Giants Rescue and Adoptions, Inc. Please welcome to the Phile... Burt Ward.

Me: Burt, welcome to the Phile, sir. I have been waiting so long to interview you. How are you? 

Burt: Hello, citizens! I'm great, Jason.

Me: Okay, first off, I have to say I'm a HUGE fan of "Batman," the TV show, and wanted to be you when I was a kid. Now it's on DVD and Blu-ray and there's new movies out, and Batman '66 is all over the place. You must have good memories of the show, right?

Burt: I have to congratulate you on the excellent taste of watching "Batman." We had a good time on "Batman." It was a terrific show to make, we shot 120 episodes, there were some of the best actors in the industry I had change to work with. It was a fantastic experience and of course for our audience and for children, my gosh, the hero worship they had, seeing Batman and Robin riding in the Batmobile, climbing walls, fighting heinous villains, surviving these horrific things these villains came up with. It was wild and crazy and for the adults it was nostalgia of the comic books. For the teenagers and college kids it was the double meaning the campy style of all the situations and suggestive things that we said and implied because they saw it on a a different level.

Me: Okay, I have to mention Adam West, my favorite Batman ever. He passed away last June, and shocked everybody. You were a close friend of his and worked with him on and off for over 50 years. How are you coping with his loss, sir?

Burt: Better than you might think because Adam and I were very dear friends and I know him so well and I know he would't want anyone to be sad. He spent his entire life entertaining people and making people laugh. So I understand he'd want everybody to be happy, certainly it's a horrible loss and there's no question about it but he doesn't want anybody to be sad.

Me: When did you first meet Adam, Burt?

Burt: Fifteen minutes before our screen test in July of 1965. We briefly spoke for about five to ten minutes before we went on stage to film the screen test and I'll tell you after a few minutes the two of us were laughing. We never stopped laughing for fifty years. We have the very same sense of humor but in a lot of ways we are opposite. All the great comic duos had tremendous differences. You got Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, all of the greats there was so much contrast and with Adam's case he was very blah, very low talking deliberate kind of like a Winston Churchill. I was kid that never grew up, still acting like a kid, talks fast, and the two of us together are the complete opposites in some ways that it makes for humor.

Me: The fans and myself loved you two as those characters, Burt, and you two are mostly known for those characters... was there any time in your "Batman" career that you had pressure on you that you always had to be Dick Grayson or Robin?

Burt: Not really. I'll tell you... when we were in costume we were always in character, even when we did personal appearances. When we were in costume we were Batman and Robin. We preserved that for children and we just thought it was a good thing to do. When we weren't in costume we could be ourselves. Adam and I never felt any pressure whatsoever. I will tell you, I think what made our show so great was the fact of two things: we were the first television show in history to play with our audience. In other words if you watched a police show there was a crime scene and all that kind of stuff and seriousness. You watched a medical show and it was trying to save somebody's life, the situation comedies were a bunch of one liners that to me weren't funny on television. But with our show we were given the freedom and in the script where we used to say we put on our tights to put on the world. Adam and I we're given a tremendous freedom probably because there was so much action with explosions and effects with a crew of 80 plus guys on set. In theory very complicated situations were they had to focus on all of that stuff. Basically Adam and I were left alone to portray our characters as we saw fit. It was that freedom for us to be our wild and crazy selves that people picked up on. They saw what it was, it was natural, it wasn't an act. It was really us. People say to me all the time, "Well, gee, you know you know Adam so well... what was he really like when he wasn't in front of the camera?" I tell people he was EXACTLY THE SAME! He is that exactly and I'm the same way too.

Me: Hahaha. I met him once at MegaCon here in Orlando and he gave me shit for wearing a Marvel t-shirt. Ha. You two got together and did an animated feature film called Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders and the sequel Batman vs. Two-Face which fans and myself are so excited about. What was it like to jump back into that role that you first did 50 years ago?

Burt: Haha. I'll tell you a little secret... I never jumped out of the role. In other words, after making 7,000 personal appearances, meeting eight and half million people signing autographs for them over the last 50 years, we did a CBS Sunday movie of the week, we did "Legends of the Super Heroes," which were two TV specials... recently we did Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders which came out last November on DVD after a brief theatrical run, and our new movie Batman vs. Two-Face... it never really left. Even after other television shows we do like "The Simpsons" that we were on, we played Batman and Robin, "Futurerama," we played Batman and Robin. There was another one... "Robot Chicken" where not only did I play Robin I also played Burt Ward. I was the only actor who played myself and my character individually on the show. So, we had whole bunch of stuff that we never really left. We might not have been on prime time but we were doing television, movies, interviews... it keeps the characters alive. Plus all the merchandise...

Me: I have been a big fan of the show pretty much since the early 70s when I was four, living in England. It seems the show is as popular as ever now, with the merchandise and the show being released on Blu-ray. Why do you think the show is still popular?

Burt: Because it reached so many people and it had something for everybody. Like I said, for kids hero worship, for adults the nostalgia of the comic books, for the teenagers and college kids the double meanings and insinuations... and now with our new movies they have taken all of the style that we did back in 1966, '67, '68, brought it forward, included some of the stuff that are in the Batman features, modernized it, and it is just as wild and crazy in today's world. That's why with our movie Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders was reviewed by virtually every critic I read as the best Batman feature realized in 2016. It got rave reviews for quality.

Me: I read that you had to do your own stunts on the set of "Batman" and you got hurt quite a bit. Why did you have to do so many of your own stunts?

Burt: Virtually just about every single stunt where there was filmed from waste up I had to do. Let me give you an example, from the first episode, the first day of filming, the famous scene where the Batmobile comes roaring out of there Batcave comes straight at the camera and makes a sharp left turn, the sign get down, the Batmobile, it pops up, Gotham City 14 miles... anyway, I went in for the first shot of me for the day in the series, the very first day of work for me, 7:30 in the morning, I go into this cold cave to the Batmobile, I look over expecting to see Batman, Adam West, and it wasn't, it was someone else dressed like Batman. And I asked him "Who are you?" and he said, "I'm a stunt man." I said, "Really? Why are you here?" He said, "Because this is a very dangerous stunt and nobody wants to take a chance of Adam West getting hurt." I said, "Well, I guess that's good. Wait a minute, if it's so dangerous why am I here? Don't I get a stunt man?" He said, "Sure. You have a stunt man." I said, "Oh, that's good. Where is he?" "He's outside there having coffee with Adam West." I said, "Wait a minute, there must be a mistake." I stopped as they were rolling up to do the filming, I called out to the assistant director who said, "What is it, Burt?" I said, "There is a terrible mistake here. You got a stunt man telling me this is a very dangerous stunt." He said, "Yes, that's true." I said, "How come I gotta be sitting here in this seat instead of you using the stunt man?" "Oh, we cannot use him." "Why not?" "Because he doesn't look like you." "Wait a minute. Why would you hire somebody to be my stunt man who doesn't look like me?" "We couldn't find anybody else." So everything that you could decently see that it was me I had to do it. So it came out at 55 mph, straight for the camera, the driver did a fantastic job making that incredibly sharp turn but my door flew open uncexpedictely and I nearly flew out of the car and I managed with a kind of a quick reaction to lean back with may rm and I wrapped my little finger around the gear shift... you could try a thousand times and never get it, but it kept me from falling out but it pulled my finger out of joint. It was incredibly painful, kicked the cameraman off his camera truck, knocked a big arc lamp over which could of caused a fire, as those were icredibly hot. Everybody rushed over and said, "Burt, are you okay?" I said, "Yes, but my hand is killing me." Even in the glove my finger had swelled up three times the size. They said, "Oh my God, it's out of joint, we are going to have to get you to the hospital." I said, "Okay, let me get out of the car. Where do I have to go to get to the hospital?" They said, "We can't get you to the hospital now." "What do you mean?" "We didn't get the shot." "But my hand is killing me." "We understand that, we are terribly sorry. We got 80 guys on this crew, it's costing us 35,000 dollars an hour... we gotta get this shot!" This was 7:30 in the morning and I finally go to the emergency room at the hospital about noon.

Me: Hahaha. I heard you tell that story before but it's so funny. What else happened to you?

Burt: Two by fours landed on my nose as I was tied down breaking my nose. Second degree burns from explosions. It was a really dangerous show.

Me: I always loved the Batfights, Burt. Those were my favorite. Were those choreographed and rehearsed a lot?

Burt: They were, but that's not the dangerous stuff. I'm a black belt in karate and let me tell youI love those fights. That was the least of my concerns. The kind of things that bothered me was when I was tied on a plank with a noose tied around me and my head was sticking over the edge of the plank, and I'm 14 feet above three wild Bengal tigers. These weren't trained animals, these were wild Bengal tigers that can jump 19 feet. These cats are looking up at me as this plank is being tilted down in their direction by Catwoman and just to give you a little inside here about 8 feet above me in a steel cage was the camera man and the director who were way above me, out of reach of the tigers. When they couldn't get the tigers to jump up at my face they hung meat over my head. Of course that made them jump up at my face. I was pulling against the bonds and afterwards they said it looked so real. What? Are you kidding?! It was real!

Me: Okay, Burt, do you have a favorite Batrap?

Burt: I had many favorites but there was only one condition for them to be qualified as a favorite and that was when I survived the experience because it was dangerous. There were times when I thought that was it.

Me: You said so many "holy..." lines throughout years... like "holy oversight," "holy headache," "holy Sherlock Holmes." Is there any that fans want you to say the most at conventions?

Burt: Not specific ones. They ask me which are my favorite ones.

Me: So, which one is your favorite?

Burt: Honestly, I didn't have a favorite. These were all designed to be appropriate to the situation. We were in a thing of jelly and I said, "holy strawberries."

Me: The writing and the puns... or dad jokes... or Batjokes were great, weren't they? So, the show only lasted three years... that must of sucked, right?

Burt: They did a terrific job. We loved making the show. Adam and I had a great time together. It was disappointing when it ended but we kinda carried the torch forward for a lot of years. I would go out and make appearances like recently I was in Dallas. There were 80,000 paid attendants that came to see me. Before that in Toronto, Canada a 160,000 paid attendants... it's huge! Constantly wherever I go they would sell out, the fire marshals would stop people from coming in, they would have to stand outside in a line til other people leave. The whole thing of "Batman" is still going great.

Me: Alright, tell me about this new thing you are doing called Gentle Giants, Burt. You take care of dogs, right?

Burt: We started with Great Danes Adoptions and Rescue and then people would come and bring a great dane that was mixed we would take it in and we finally said wait minute, we should our name to Gentle Giants. Now because we take little dogs, we'd pay for these dogs, we rescue these dogs, we pay for their food and medical and shelter, we found every one a safe loving home. But think of it this way... if we go to that much trouble to save these lives, we obviously want them to live as long as possible. Giant breed dogs traditionally only live 6 to 8 years and those that we didn't adopt fast enough we would lose one and my wife and I would literally cry. It effects us very, very much. So, we vowed if there was a way that we would find a way to help these dogs live longer. We developed a feeding and care program where we feed and care for dogs differently where other people do. You can all read about on our website and you readers can see how the dogs live til their late 20s. They're still active, running around like puppies, some of them are jumping in the air. The feeding and care added about three years to each dogs life.

Me: You have your own dog food as well, right? Why is that?

Burt: Yeah, the food was we got to a point where we averaged three years to a dog, but we would have to change the food. To be honest with you when we made out food and were designing it we thought if we used the best of the best all U.S.A. ingredients, the best highest quality cuts of meat and things, maybe we could pull out another year. Maybe two years... what happened was we found something that was so devastating it changed our lives forever. Here's what we found out... dog food companies know something the average person doesn't know which is the more fat content you put in dog food the hungrier it makes dogs. In our opinion it's all about money. For us who operate a non-profit charity my life and I don't make a dime from our dog food. Not a dime. But we made a food that is incredibly different from all the other dog food. We don't add fat to it to try and make dogs hungrier which in a way creates another problem because dogs love the taste and smell of meat not the smell and taste of fat. Dog food manufactures are forced to cover up the fat they out in by spraying a different kind of fat on the outside of the food dogs will eat. With Gentle Giants we don't add extra fat, whereas everybody else's 12 to 22 percent fat if you look at the guaranteed analysis on the back of the bag next to the ingredients. Ours is 9% because that's what's actually in the food... we insist dogs should live incredibly healthy and active lives until their late 20s. Our dogs are so healthy the only time we take them to the vet is every 3 years for the ten dollar rabies update. Can you imagine how much money would be saved by feeding them food that wouldn't cause problems?

Me: The food is available at Walmart, right?

Burt: Yeah, we went to Walmart and said we weren't going to take anything from this. We'd like to get it into peoples hands as inexpensively as possible. 

Me: What about if you put it in pet stores?

Burt: They would sell a 33 pound for about 90 dollars. That same 33 pound bag in Walmart sells for 34 dollars. Our motto is "half the price, time the life."

Me: That's cool. Thanks, Burt, for being on the Phile. I hope you'll come back again soon. Mention your website and everything.

Burt: Thank you, citizens, To the Batmobile!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Burt Ward. I have sooo many more questions for him so I hope to have him back here soon. The Phile will be back tomorrow with author and bass player Bruce Thomas. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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