Sunday, January 8, 2017

Pheaturing Lio Nicol

Good morning, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. So, it's January 8th... do you know what today is? It's the Phile's 11th anniversary! Crazy, right? I decided not to do a special anniversary this year. It's kinda like when you have a kid, and once they hit 11-years-old their birthdays don't seem that great. Haha. It's not a mile stone year, y'know. After ten it's all down from there. Man, it's so cold today. It's so damn cold, I just farted snowflakes. It's so cold outside I actually saw a gansta pulling his pants up.   It's so cold I'd actually consider going to hot yoga with you. Even our weather is becoming Russian.  I actually love the cold weather... reminds me of my heart. Winter is a great time to curl up with a good book to use as a perch for staring at my phone.
Today in the "Men Being Disgusting" Department, we have this man from West Virginia who was arrested for following women around an Ohio Walmart and squirting them with semen from a syringe. Lovely! According to the "CBS News," Timothy Blake was charged on December 30th with "pandering obscenity, sexual imposition and two counts of menace by stalking." Not exactly the stuff of a compelling Tinder bio. It wasn't just a one and done situation, either. Police in Marietta, Ohio apparently first received a complaint about Blake on November 2. A woman noticed a man she described as "creepy" following her as she shopped in Walmart. At one point, he got very close to her, and she felt something wet hit her lower back and foot (ewwww). She went into the bathroom to wash off the substance she called "sticky," and when she came out, dude was still standing there, waiting for her. All of this is reportedly backed up by surveillance video. On December 28th, creepy Blake and his sticky semen struck again. A woman at the same Walmart called police with a similar complaint, and cops approached Blake a few days later, when they spotted the white pickup truck he used to flee the scene on both occasions. At first Blake said the substance in the syringe was egg, but after police had it tested, he finally admitted that it was his own semen. An affidavit obtained by "CBS News" says that Blake then revealed that he'd used syringes filled with spit, egg, and semen to spray women "on a dozen occasions." He would allegedly masturbate into a syringe (such aim!) in his car or in the Walmart bathroom, and then use that to squirt (ugh) his sperm onto women, aiming for their butts (blerg). In the affidavit, police wrote, “The defendant stated maybe it was his way of having sex with these women." Well, it certainly wasn't consensual, buddy.
Tilikum, the killer whale who killed Seaworld trainer Dawn Brancheau in 2010 and inspired the anti-captivity documentary "Blackfish," died this past week at the age of 36. The cause of death has not yet been released, but the orca had been suffering from a treatment-resistant bacterial lung infection since 2015. Poor Tilikum. He was taken from waters near Iceland in 1983, torn from the other members of his pod (male killer whales typically live their entire lives with their mothers) when he was just two years old. He spent the next year in a cement holding tank in Iceland, while he waited to be transferred to a marine park. Then he spent the rest of his life in tiny pools, doing tricks for food. Dawn Brancheau wasn't the only human whose death was caused by Tilikum... he also killed a trainer named Keltie Byrne in 1991 at when she fell into the pool at Sealand of the Pacific , and a trespasser named Daniel Dukes in 1999, who had climbed into his tank at Seaworld after the park had closed for the night. At long last, poor Tili is free. It's just too bad it had to end for him like this, instead of in a safe ocean pen where he could still be fed by the humans who'd trapped him so many years ago, while enjoying at least a semblance of a normal ocean life.
The latest news in people refusing to leave Hillary Clinton alone is that they've started a rumor about her running for Mayor of New York City. Is it really so hard for us to let this woman live? Clinton just spent basically her entire life preparing for an election that she lost to one of the most under-prepared, bigoted human beings to ever run. And to make matters worse, she won the popular vote by more than 2 million. And now we're already expecting her to pull herself back together and run for Mayor of the biggest city in the country? Everyone relax. The rumor started a few weeks ago, and actually originated with a right-wing website that maybe is looking for more opportunities to sling hate her direction, so they can feel alive. Now, it's being discussed more publicly, the "New York Times" reports. "I heard it three times in the two days I was on the Hill," said Bradley Tusk, a former top aide to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg. And while Tusk believes she would win if she ran in a race against current New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, he doesn't think she's going to. "The reality is that she’s not going to, and all it does is further delay the thinking and plans of people who actually could run and win." What Tusk is basically saying, is that people should quit their delusional thinking and focus on actual ways to achieve social and political good that are feasible. For all we know, Clinton is still hiding in the woods. Besides, she's probably so tired that all she wants to do is lay in bed, apply layers of expensive face masks, order specialty sushi rolls, and watch Netflix for at least another year before even thinking about stepping back into the public eye. The "Times" seemed to confirm that fact, "People close to Mrs. Clinton said that she had not given much thought to what she would do next, but that she was almost certainly not interested in being mayor." Crazy how the answer to these delusional thoughts can be found in the lyrics to that crappy song by Passengers. "Only know to love her when you let her go... and you let her go."
Michelle Obama gave her final speech on Friday, fighting back tears to deliver a message of hope that will hopefully carry us through the next four years of the Trump presidency. The occasion, honoring the 2017 School Counselor of the Year, was a fitting one, as the First Lady spent her eight years in the White House working tirelessly to improve the U.S.'s public education system with various initiatives. And Obama had an inspiring message to send out to all the young people in the country who were watching. "If your family doesn't have much money, I want you to remember that plenty of folks, including me and my husband, started out with very little," the First Lady said. "But with a lot of hard work and a good education anything is possible, even becoming President. That's what the American dream is all about." The speech sent a message of deep gratitude for the tireless and under-appreciated work that educators do. "I want to close today by simply saying thank you," Obama said, through tears. "Thank you for everything you do for our kids, and for our country. Being your First Lady has been the greatest honor of my life, and I hope I've made you proud." Obama recognized that it's often all too easy to get bogged down by the frustrations and setbacks of daily work, and too tempting to think our efforts won't make a difference. But she raised up that hard work as the essential product of hope, challenging all of us to see our daily lives as an opportunity to put our wildest dreams in motion. "That is what moves this country forward every day: our hope for the future, and the hard work that hope inspires."
In the days following the sudden, shocking death of iconic actress and unapologetic firebrand Carrie Fisher, tributes have poured in from friends, fans, and family. But almost all pale in comparison to the revelation of the beloved comedienne's urn, which is, in fact, an enormous Prozac pill. Carrie's brother Todd Fisher was seen carrying the unusual crematory receptacle at a private memorial for their mother, actress Debbie Reynolds, who passed away just a day after Fisher. "Carrie's favorite possession was a giant Prozac pill that she bought many years ago. A big pill," Todd explained to "Entertainment Tonight." "She loved it, and it was in her house, and Billie and I felt it was where she'd want to be." He added, "We couldn't find anything appropriate. Carrie would like that. It was her favorite thing, and so that's how you do it. And so they're together, and they will be together here and in heaven, and we're okay with that." Fisher, who struggled with bipolar disorder, addiction, and more, becoming a major mental health advocate in the process, was clearly never without a sense of humor about the challenges she faced... and the impulse to joke about them helped to remove some of their stigma. It's only fitting for us to remember that.
It's very cold out there right now. Sure, it's winter, but it's unseasonably freezing, even in the coldest, most northern parts of North America where you assume it's always like that. Things are starting to go a little nuts.

Paper beats rock. Ice airplane beats paper airplane. Hey, the Phile has a new sponsor.

That's so cool. When can I get one of those? Haha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as this...

Awe. So, over the years people have pretty much made fun of my last name... "Peverett." You wouldn't believe his many times I was called "Jason Pervert." Well, there's people with other names that could be a whole lot worse. Like this one for example....

Mandic Phile does not sound that great, does it? I have to show this... there was this magazine in the 70s or 80s that had a drawing of a bunch of different musicians in a group, and one of those musicians was my dad.

I have no idea why he's holding a banjo though. And that's not me standing next to him. I think it's David Bowie... not too sure. This is the description at the bottom of the drawing...

Hahaha. So, ever see an inanimate object and see a face? Me too!

Hey, I saw this pic of Trump the other day...

I was like where did I see that before? Then it hit me...

Hahahaha. Speaking of Trump, there's a few Trump doppelgängers out there. Like this vegan butter...

A wall of delicious, buttery goodness, that is. Make America tasty again! Okay, so, once of the very first pheatures I had on the Phile 11 years ago was called Canned Laughter where I told a joke. I haven't done this in years, as various characters on the Phile tell jokes. But, today, on the anniversary I think I should. So, once again, it's...

A little old couple walked slowly into McDonald's that cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking, "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!" The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife. He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking, "That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them." As the man began to eat his french fries one young man stood and came over to the old couple's table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple to eat. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything. Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat. The man again explained that no, they were used to sharing everything together. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food. After being politely refused again, he finally asked a question of the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating? You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered, "The teeth."

Hahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, it's eight days into the new year, and the anniversary of the Phile so I have to have one of my favorite guests back again. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Good morning, humans. Happy Sunday, phuckerz. and now... a few words from your old buddy, L.J.... Recently an old friend of mine expressed her contempt over my flagrant and frequent use of the word "cunt." She told me I should use the word twat, instead. That cunt is a nasty sounding word. I'm not sure I agree with her completely. I think the word cunt has a rather nice ring to it. It's very expressive and evokes just the right emotion from the person it's being hurled at. I mean, after all... words (spoken or heard) only have the power we give to them. No more no less. For all we know, the word cunt could be construed as a happy... almost pleasant sounding word to some civilizations. Now, I could curtail my use of the word cunt... but I felt that I would be acting in a rather disingenuous manner. So I'll keep using the word cunt because it's been in the lexicon of my language for some time now and as the song goes... "I gotta be me." In closing... I'd like to apologize to all you cunts out there who may be offended in any way by my current or future use of the word cunt. Because after all, my freaky little darlings... All Cunts Matter.

The 34th artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery is Dan Hogan and this is one of his pieces...

Dan will be the guest on the Phile tomorrow.

Today's pheatured guest is a singer/songwriter whose new single "Blame" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Lio Nicol!

Me: Hi there, Lio, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Lio: I’m awesome! Thanks for asking!

Me: I have to say I love your name... it's very unique. It sounds like a name of a Star Wars character. I bet no one has told you that before, right?

Lio: Um, NO and that’s seriously the best thing anyone has ever said about my name, haha! So awesome.

Me: Thanks. Lio, you look sooooo young. How old are you?

Lio: I’m a whopping 26 years old.

Me: Have you wanted to be a singer all your life?

Lio: Subconsciously I think I did. I played sports my entire life but was always getting yelled at for being goofy and singing at practice and stuff… So even though I was a sports fanatic, I way always singing and writing poetry from a very young age without knowing why.

Me: Where are you originally from? You live in L.A. now, right?

Lio: Yep. I live in Los Angeles, but I am originally from Montana. I also have dual citizenship in Canada and the U.S. My mom’s family is from Alberta, Canada.

Me: Did you move there for your musical career?

Lio: I did! I first moved to San Diego because I knew absolutely nothing about music and knew I had a lot to learn before I swam with the sharks in L.A. Two and a half years later I basically had a “sign” that made me realize it was time to move to L.A. so I packed my bags and now here I am.

Me: You look like you could be a model, Lio, as you're very photogenic. I love this pic of you...

Me: Do you like modeling and getting your pic taken?

Lio: Wow, you are too sweet! Honestly, it’s not my favorite thing… haha. I for sure would give modeling a try if an opportunity came around but it’s not at the top of my bucket list.

Me: I'm guessing you like the beach as Montana doesn't have any beaches, right?

Lio: I’m obsessed with water. It’s basically the blood of the earth and there’s something so wild about that that makes me want to surround myself in it. That sounds creepy but it’s true. Something about water makes me feel at peace.

Me: Let's talk about your new single "Blame." It's a really catchy tune. Did you write it?

Lio: Thanks! Yep I did. I really dig this song and it’s groove so I’m glad you like it!

Me: Is this your first release, Lio?

Lio: This song is not the first piece of music I have put out. I have released other music in the past, but it was just not me. This is the first song I can say feels 100% like me.

Me: So, is that song about any one in particular?

Lio: In a way, yeah. I was inspired by a man I was seeing, but not the whole song is about that. Mainly just the first half. I will usually get inspired and then let my mind make a story out of it.

Me: You have a knack for songwriting... does it come easy for you?

Lio: Awe, thank you! I suppose it does! I wouldn’t say that I just produce mass hits all the time but lyrics and melody do just come east to me. The best way I can describe it is like rain. When it’s there, it’s there and it’s flowing and it’s great and in between those moments of “rain” ideas are building and inspiration is happening.

Me: I'm guessing you are working on an album, am I right?

Lio: YES! I have this current EP I am going to put out that is 4 tracks and then I’m going to be putting out another album of hopefully 11 tracks. I’m super excited!

Me: Do you get to perform lots of shows in California?

Lio: I perform around Los Angeles singing at jam sessions and then put on my own shows occasionally. I will be doing more of my own shows this year though so that will be fun.

Me: What's your favorite show you played?

Lio: Playing at Canadian Music Week last year was awesome! But I recently sang a Whitney Houston song at one of the top jazz nights in Los Angeles and there was so much room on the stage I instantly turned into a tall blonde Mick Jagger running around and dancing! It was a blast!

Me: So, who were your influences growing up?

Lio: I listened to SO many different artists. Michael Jackson, Enya, The Beach Boys, Shania Twain, Usher, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Savage Garden, Earth Wind and Fire, The Eagles... the list goes on and on. My parent’s listened to any and everything so I can’t really pin-point anything.

Me: If you could perform with anyone who would it be?

Lio: Oh, my goodness I would perform with Josh Groban! I would melt. Also, would be down for a duet with Adele.

Me: So, wait, I read you went to school to study biology but gave it up to be a singer... where did you go to school?

Lio: Indeed, I did exactly that. I went to the University of Montana and 2 years in realized I wasn’t doing what my heart was yelling at me to do.

Me: How did you choose biology?

Lio: I have a huge interest in the ocean and water as we talked about earlier so my goal at the time was to get a degree in biology and then my masters in marine biology.

Me: Did you think about giving school up for awhile or was it spontaneous?

Lio: It was very spontaneous. To be honest, I will not be the person to tell any young adult to do what I did, but I also don’t regret the decision I made.

Me: What did your parents think when you told them?

Lio: My mom was like... "okay we need to talk.” Haha. We had some very serious talks about what I wanted to do and what my dreams were and then she started helping me pack! She said she wanted me to have a chance at what I knew I loved in my heart and here we are today!

Me: Okay, I have to tell you, I LOVE your version of John Hiatt's "Have A Little Faith In Me." Number one, are you a John Hiatt fan? I am a high fan of his.

Lio: Oh, I’m so glad you love it! I am for sure a fan. That is one of my favorite songs and I think John Hiatt is an amazing songwriter. My absolute favorite car is a Thunderbird and so I’m automatically a fan for the soul reason of his song called "Thunderbird." Haha.

Lio: Number two... how did you pick to do that song?

Lio: Some songs you hear not knowing anything about them and they just hit you. This song, the chords, the melody, it’s everything has always just hit me. It’s so beautiful and when I had the opportunity to record I just had to.

Me: John Hiatt's version I want played at my funeral, but I'm thinking your version might be played instead. Okay, that's sad. I also love your version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" which is another song I want played at my funeral. You have a great voice, Lio, do you pick out these songs or does someone pick them out for you?

Lio: Oh, my gosh, I could hug you right now! I don’t like to say you can play my versions of these amazing songs at your funeral cuz that’s sad as shit, buuuut you can! These two songs are literally some of my most favorite songs and so I picked them to cover. When I said I wanted to cover them most people told me “oh that’s so typical” but I was like "well let me show you how I want to sing it!” and they were like, "OH okay lets record!"

Me: Do you like singing your own music or covers better? You have such a great voice you practically can sing anything I imagine.

Lio: At first I liked singing covers better because I wasn’t writing song I wanted to perform. I LOVE to write in all genres but that doesn’t mean the song is for me. So at first I was writing all these songs that I wanted to give to other people and not sing my self, but now that I’m pretty aware of myself and the music I like to sing I love to sing my own songs.

Me: So, when are you gonna be releasing your album? Will it be all originals?

Lio: Yes, it will be all originals and I’m planning on releasing my EP in early 2017.

Me: Lio, go ahead and mention your website and everything. I hope this was a cool interview and I hope you'll come back when your next release comes out, will you?

Lio: This interview was awesome, thank you for having me and I would love to come back! You can check me out at,,… mainly you can google Lio Nicol and I’ll be there!

Me: All the best, and take care. Don't lose that voice!!!

Lio: Thanks so much and sending hugs and positive vibes your way!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Lio Nicol. The Phile will be back tomorrow with artist Dan Hogan. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker


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