Monday, December 12, 2016

Pheaturing Phile Alum Tish Meeks & Drew Owens, Zach Bordelon, Dale Payne From 3 Kisses

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? If you ever feel bad about starting a new work week, just remember how terrible your personal life is too. Did you hear about PETA's naked bloody woman protest? It was supposed to be disturbing, but ended up being confusing. I'll explain... Dubliners walking down the street a week ago or so encountered a very strange, live version of a traditional Irish blood sausage. PETA was protesting meat-eating by exposing passersby to nudity and the nude woman to hypothermia. Vegans, amirite? But seriously, people got the message that they shouldn't be having meat at Christmas dinner, but were more concerned for the model. (It's Europe, so this meant 11 degrees Celsius. I hope PETA wouldn't be so cruel to humans that they'd stick 'em outside naked in 11 degrees Fahrenheit). However, people were quick to point out there were some issues with scale, a la Spinal Tap. Oh, and don't forget that abominable table-setting faux pas... the knife and fork were on the wrong sides. A naked woman on a plate just might have been the wrong call, because horny dudes. Next time, PETA should at least clarify the metaphor.Hopefully there is a People for the Ethical Treatment of People (PETP), because lying naked in the cold ain't safe. I have to see a pic of this woman...

She's hiding her breasts and looks like she's wearing some kinda underwear. That's disappointing. Oh, well... moving on.
Jeff Diggs of St. Louis, Missouri, really gets into the Christmas spirit. Sadly, the same can't be said about a vandal who recently stopped by Diggs' front yard to stab the giant, inflatable Frosty the Snowman there to celebrate the season. Thanks to a security camera, the Grinchy crime was caught on video. Even holiday-haters can agree that this is bad form, but Diggs didn't take the assault lying down. He posted the footage online in the hopes of catching Frosty's killer, and, when that didn't work, used it to raise money for charity. On his GoFundMe page, titled "Frosty Still Loves You," he describes the suspects and their car... which allegedly bears a Trump-Pence bumper sticker, if you can believe it... and explains that he is taking donations for "Judge Joe Murphy’s Good Kids In Need," a "local St. Louis Christmas charity that has been helping to brighten the holidays of local people and families in the St. Louis region for the last 16 years." See? There's goodness in the world after all. "This is a nice place to live and I want to try and keep it that way," Diggs told Fox News in an interview. "So if we all at least make everyone aware of what happens, more eyes on the street, more people paying attention to what’s going on, hopefully those kinds of senseless acts will decrease.” Oh, and don't worry about Frosty. According to Diggs, he "received a total of 9 stitches from the stabbing. He is doing well and recovering from his injury. He insisted on going back to work immediately because he believes in the magic of the holiday season and hopes that all people will come together and learn to love and respect each other regardless of our differences!" If that doesn't melt your heart a little, nothing will.
Kellogg's has announced that they're pulling all their advertising from conservative media outlet, Breitbart News. The cereal brand is the most recent of several companies to stop advertising on the site, joining the ranks of Allstate, Nest, EarthLink, Warby Parker and SoFi, "The Washington Post" reports. Breitbart, a news outlet many see as a voice for the "Alt Right," has published some pretty hateful headlines over the years, including such doozies as, "There's No Hiring Bias Against Women In Tech, They Just Suck At Interviews," "Birth Control Makes Women Unattractive And Crazy" and "Teenage Boys With Tits: Here's My Problem With Ghostbusters." To add to the cereal drama, Trump supporters have started a movement to ban Kellogg's from their shopping carts, using the Twitter hashtag #DumpKellogs. Meanwhile, those of us who aren't bigoted and hateful jerks are free to load up on Pop Tarts knowing that our favorite sugar cereal company won't let Breitbart's type of "journalism" fly. So, what cereal brands would want to advertise with a site like Breitbart News, you ask? Hooded Bunches of Oafs? Children of the Corn Flakes? Fascist Flakes? Fact-Free Charms? Cream of White? Fibber One? No Chex or Balances? Grope Nuts? Frosted Shredded Rights? KKKix? Ha. I can go on, but I won't.
How far would you go to get a pair of very expensive sneakers? If you are me, the answer is not far at all. But sneakerheads are their own brand of crazy, as was reinforced on Wednesday, when a man in Louisville, Kentucky drove his car into the exterior of a store to break in and steal the new Air Jordan sneakers that were released o Saturday. According to CBS Detroit, police believe that the destruction to the City Gear store was created by a car crashing into the back of the store, and that the robber, who has yet to be identified stole "lots" of the Air Jordans. Amongst the debris were some boxes of the Air Jordan XI sneakers that were left behind. No injuries were reported. Air Jordans are already a much-coveted sneaker amongst people cool enough to follow sneaker releases, but this release was even more special as it was a celebration of the 20th anniversary of everyone's favorite 90s nostalgia-inducer: Space Jam. Was the robber just a Jordan collector trying to get ahead of the lines that are surely wrapping around blocks? Or just a really big fan of Space Jam? Or maybe they're strictly a business person who has no other intention but to flip the sneakers on the black market for a pretty penny. Well, sneakers may come and go, but at least there is one thing that will always stay the same: the Space Jam web site, which has not changed or been updated since 1996.
Montreal's annual Christmas tree is lifting a lot of spirits this year, just not exactly as intended. The city had reportedly hoped to put up the tallest tree in North America, a title long held by the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree in NYC. They did not quite succeed. But their 70-foot fir tree has sure made a strong impression. Can you see why?

As one Montreal resident told the "National Post," "It is not beautiful. There is not even a head at the top." To add insult to injury, the scrawny, phallic tree has been decorated exclusively with red logos from a Canadian tire company. One resident came to the tree's defense, telling the "Post" it's not size that matters. "It’s maybe not the quantity but the quality that’s important," she said. The tree has responded to all the attention with its own Twitter account. And it seems pretty laissez-faire about all the ridicule. It is French-Canadian after all. This tree DGAF. We should all be this tree.
So, Christmas is in a few weeks and if you are looking for something to buy someone, I can help. How about this waterproof Kindle pouch?

It works! You can not kill your mother-in-law on Amazon for only $10! A few minutes ago I told a story about Kellogg's... well, did you see their new ad? I was very surprised by it.

Hahaha. Do you kids play EA games? I am not sure what games they make but I kinda like their slogan...

It is very too the point. So, as it's the holidays, there's a lot of strange ads coming out. I have been showing you a few recently.

That's kinda cool, right? I wonder if those kids are still alive. Hey, are you excited for Rogue One? Well, the sequel is already in pre-production.

Hahaha. I crack myself up sometimes. you looking for a quick way to give your Christmas tree some life? You need the Giant Christmas Tree Googly Eyes!

Here's another ugly sweater that sums up all the ugliness of 2016.

Put the "bright" in "Breitbart." And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive President Trump's Changes To "The Celebrity Apprentice"
5. The Week 3 challenge will be to create an alternative to Obamacare.
4. Contestants will ow be vying for one of 1100... wait, make that 730... jobs at the Indianapolis Carrier plant.
3. Prodiction may be halted whenever Trump is called away to tweet about "SNL," berate a union boss or launch a nuclear attack.
2. When losers leave Trump Tower, the limousine's chauffeur will be Chris Christie.
And the number one President Trump change to "The Celebrity Apprentice" is...
1. It will be the first regularly-scheduled program to pre-empt the State of the Union Address.

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. By the way, those are some of my favorite Christmas movies... except for Happy Feet. So, by now you should know I live in Florida... well, there's some crazy stuff that happens in Florida that happens nowhere else. So, that's why I have a pheature called...

Some bullies might get older, but that doesn't necessarily mean they grow up. Take, for example, the anonymous stranger who sent a Florida mom and substitute teacher named Kelley Markland a letter in the mail notifying her that she was too fat to wear leggings. What a wonderful human being!

On November 18th, Markland returned home after a nice dinner out and found an envelope in her mailbox that contained a letter reading, "a woman who weigh [sic] 300 pounds should not wear yoga pants!!" The envelope also included a photograph of a woman bending over, and a meme of Will Farrell's Anchorman character, Ron Burgundy, saying "Your pants say yoga but your ass says McDonalds." HAHA, SO FUNNY. Upset, Markland took to Facebook to write a post about her new fun pen pal. Her full post reads, "So, I came home from celebrating a fun birthday dinner for Mia and we were all so happy! I open my mail to find this envelope with a silly picture (not me in that picture BTW) and a note. Apparently, I weigh 300 pounds and I shouldn't wear leggings anymore. Anyone who knows me, knows that I care deeper and stronger than many. I am a sensitive woman and I despise cruelty towards others. At 36 years old, I am STILL being made fun of. Whoever sent this, be an adult and tell me who you are. JUST TELL ME!!! I have never pretended to be pretty or look good in clothing, I have never tried to be flashy or show off. Wearing my "fun" leggings gave me a tad bit of confidence in not looking sloppy all the time. I'm sorry that some of you may not like it, but I'm not dressing for you. All the hate in this world, and you have to pick on me for this?! Thank you for making me feel like absolute, complete shit. A wonderful night with my family had to end like unbelievably disappointed in people anymore." But don't lose heart, reader, because after airing her feelings on Facebook, and receiving tons of great messages from her friends, Markland decided that she wouldn't let the rude note to get her down. She told "Today," “I had to remember, if I walked around defeated and scared, then whoever sent that letter wins. And I wasn’t going to let that person win. At all." The next day, although apprehensive, she put on a pair of leggings and went to the school where she subbed, only to find that most of the other teachers (and even the moms of some of the school kids) were also wearing leggings to show their support for her. She told "Today," “All the teachers were coming up and hugging me and showing me their leggings. So I knew at that point, it’s not about me anymore, it’s about all women.” She also said, "[The response has] been amazing and mind blowing. It’s so inspiring to have other people telling me that what they’re doing now is because of this little act of bullying." Now Markland's Facebook profile picture is a simple inspirational message, reading "Put on your positive pants…mine are leggings!"

She's actually cute.

"Nobody really knows" whether climate change is occurring, President-elect Donald Trump said in an interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, referring to drastic and interrelated environmental shifts like melting ice caps and rising global temperatures that threaten life on Earth as we know it. Asked about his stance as to the phenomenon, on which there is consensus across 97 percent of scientists who publish climate findings... as in, virtually all the experts agree that it's happening... Trump refused to discredit those who refuse to face simple facts. “I'm very open-minded," he said. "I'm still open-minded. Nobody really knows. Look, I'm somebody that gets it, and nobody really knows. It's not something that's so hard and fast. I do know this: Other countries are eating our lunch." By "other countries," he presumably means some of the 116 nations that have ratified the Paris Agreement, an international pact to "combat climate change," which, again, is absolutely real. Trump has openly mused on the possibility of the U.S. withdrawing from the deal. Just 38 days until this ignorant liar is sworn into office.

The Polar Express
The Polar Express is a 2004 children's movie about a boy who goes for a ride with a stranger and somehow doesn't get murdered.

The 33rd artist to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery is Gene Guilmette and this is one of his pieces...

My favorite Star Wars character and favorite "Sesame Street" character. This should be a t-shirt! Anyway, Gene will be the pheatured guest on the Phile this coming Sunday.

The 54th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Rachael will be a guest on the Phile this coming Monday.

Today's guests are the members of the cool Alaska based band 3 Kisses whose new album is called "Angels Bleed Black" and is available on iTunes. Please welcome back Phile Alum Tish Meeks with Drew Owens, Zach Bordelon and Dale Payne.

Me: Hey, Tish, welcome back to the Phile! It's been awhile. How are you?

Tish: I’m doing great! So many exciting things happening on the 3 Kisses front.

Me: It's cool you have the boys from 3 Kisses here... what's up, fellas?

Drew: Hello, Jason! How’s it going, man?

Dale: Hi, Jason!

Zach: Hi!

Me: Tish, you're originally from Texas... how long have you been living in Alaska now? It's been a few years, right?

Tish: That’s correct. I’ve been in Alaska since June 2011.

Me: Are you guys all from Alaska?

Drew: No, I’m originally from Virgina.

Dale: I was born and raised in Pennsylvania.

Zach: I’ve been here my whole life.

Drew: So Zach’s the only real Alaskan here.

Me: Dale, you have been with Tish and 3 Kisses the longest, am I right?

Dale: Yes, I have been.

Me: Weren't you in a serious accident a few years ago? If so, what happened and how are you now?

Dale: I wasn’t in an accident, but I had a serious case of pneumonia combined with MRSA. I’m great now. It’s all better.

Me: That's good. Zach, did you and the other guys have to audition to be in the band?

Zach: I did, yeah.

Drew: I wouldn’t say I auditioned, per say. That was kind of a strange situation. I came over to hang out with Tish and listen to the music and instantly fell in love with it. I just kinda barged my way in, I guess.

Me: Tish, how many members has 3 Kisses had over the years?

Tish: Too many to count! Some of them were not serious about it at all... really poor fits. Others were great but didn’t work out for one reason or another. I’m still very close will some of my former members. Life gets in the way of music more often than not. It’s challenging to make the kind of commitment that’s required. A lot of people want to play for fun... which is fine, but not what 3 Kisses is about. I’ve invested over a quarter of my life into the band.

Me: One of your biggest influences is Joan Jett... but I can't remember who else you are influenced by.

Tish: Oh-so-many people, really. Andrew WK, Halestorm... I love Lzzy Hale. She’s an awesome chick and it makes me happy to see her achieve such success. I first met her in 2005 at the Dewey Beach Music Fest. Avenged Sevenfold, Rob Zombie, Volbeat... really, everything I listen to influences me in one way or another and I have a pretty eclectic taste in music.

Me: Drew, what about you? Who are your biggest influences guitar wise?

Drew: Oh boy, it’s this question. LOL. There’s so many to mention but 3 that really come to mind are Ace Frehley, Dimebag Darrell, and you know, the style I’ve been writing lately I’d have to say Alexi Laiho of Children of Bodom. Ace Frehley was the guy that really got me wanting to play guitar and I learned a lot of his vibrato and bend techniques that I rip off on a daily basis.

Me: You have a metal background, right? Would you say 3 Kisses has a metal edge?

Drew: I would say more hard rock. Correct. I would agree, but there are certain elements of metal in there. The first song I heard was "Burn It Down" and the chorus reminded me a little of Metalocolypse in just the way those songs are written. It’s a pretty metal progression. But yeah, 3 Kisses is definitely more hard rock... at least for the moment. Ha ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. There is definitely metal attitudes in there.

Me: Dale, how long have you been playing drums and what made you chose that instrument?

Dale: I started when I was 14. We’ll just leave it at that. And what made me start? The obvious! GIRLS!

Me: Okay, you guys have a very cool new album out... "Angels Bleed Black." I never knew that angels bled, let alone black. Tish, what is that title song about? Did you all write all the songs for the album together?

Tish: Drew and I wrote everything up front and then Dale came in with his drum flair.

Me: You seem to be pumping out a lot of music in a short time, Tish. Are you always writing?

Tish: I write constantly and so does Drew. He’s already got enough ideas for another album. I’m the one slacking! Zach also writes, so that will bring a new dynamic to the band.

Me: Have you thought about doing a live album? 

Tish: No, I’m not really a fan of live albums.

Drew: We’ve thought about shooting a live show for a DVD package deal, but haven’t gotten around to that yet.

Me: When you were here before you were working on a reality show. Is that something you still would like to see happen?

Tish: Nothing ever came of it, but our tour manager still thinks we’ve got one in us. If it happened, that would be great.

Me: For this album you guys made a video for almost, if not all, the songs... whose idea was that?

Tish: That was my idea. I thought our videographer, Peter Doucette, was going to kill me. He did it though!

Me: Which one if your favorite video?

Drew: I’m gonna say "Shot Down 1000 Chances" because I got to shoot Tish. Dead. That was a repayment for slave-driving me to death. But, in all seriousness, that one was fun to dress up as cowboys... something a little different than jumping around pretending you’re playing music.

Me: I have to show a screenshot of that.

Dale: I’d probably have to pick "Bow to the Tyrant." Something about being out on a frozen lake in the middle of January in Alaska... pardon the pun, but that’s pretty cool. 

Drew: You mean COLD.

Zach: I think "Bow to the Tyrant" is pretty cool.

Tish: I like "Angels Bleed Black" a lot. Shooting the concept portion was a lot of fun for me.

Me: Tish, do you like making videos? I think you do. Hahaha.

Tish: I love it!! How can you tell?

Me: By the way, Tish, any more new tattoos since you last were here?

Tish: Oh yeah, a bunch. I’m pretty sure I have over 40 by now. My right arm is almost sleeved out. 

Me: You probably have more than the whole band put together, am I right?

Tish: Yes, although Drew has a new Superman tattoo his girlfriend just did for him. He’s working on a Justice League sleeve.

Me: Cool. 3 Kisses music has been in a few movies, am I right? Is that cool for you guys?

Tish: We’ve been in a couple. It is kind of surreal hearing your song in a movie. Super cool, for sure. 

Me: Have any of you seen the movies the music was in?

Tish: Yes, I’ve seen both of them.

Me: Okay, so, you guys are gonna go on a full length tour next summer. I am so freaking excited for you. Will you be hitting Orlando?

Tish: Yes, we are! We are beyond excited. It is going to be great to get out of the isolation of Alaska. The population is so small here and there are very few venues. We will definitely be hitting Orlando. We expect you to be our Disney World tour guide.

Me: Deal. Is this the first major tour you guys have ever been on?

Tish: This will definitely be the longest for all of us.

Me: Why is the time right now for a tour, Tish?

Tish: We have great momentum, we are united on our goals for the band, and we are sitting on an album that will be released in April or May just prior to the tour that is going to blow people away.

Me: Will your kids be going on the tour with you?

Tish: No, they are teenagers and have their own lives. It would be like taking them to my day job. They would hate it and I need to be 100% focused on my work and performance. They are pushing me out the door to get on the road, though. They know I’ve lost a lot of time because of the choices I’ve made to secure their futures.

Me: Tish, how are your kids doing? They must be getting big. Are they getting into music as well?

Tish: They are doing awesome. They are growing up fast. Benji is 16 and already a freshman in college. Hannah is 15 and on the same track. Benji is a DJ and EDM artist. He’s quite good. He’s been DJing weddings and private parties. In fact, he DJ’d Dale’s wedding this summer.

Me: You know when you play here I have to do another interview with you guys. Is the tour still being planned?

Tish: The tour is still in planning stages. We have locations and dates picked, but we are just beginning to book dates.

Me: That would be a good time for you to record the live album... just saying. Whatcha think?

Tish: I don’t know about all that. Again, I’m not a big fan of live albums.

Me: Tish, the band was gonna record a Foghat song... do you guys still think you'll do that?

Tish: If your project comes together, we are definitely down to participate.

Me: Okay. So, Tish, this is the Phile's 10th anniversary year so I am asking my Alum guests what they were doing ten years ago... so, what were you doing?

Tish: Ten years ago, 3 Kisses was just getting started. We had two albums at that point... and they weren’t very good, I might add. LOL. I’m happy to say, we’ve come a LONG way since then. I had no idea what I was getting myself into back then. The music business has changed a lot since then.

Me: Alright, it's so cool to have you back on the Phile... with the guys as well. Go ahead and mention your website and everything. Please come back soon, will you?

Tish: Thanks for having all of us! Our website is,,, and we’re on all kinds of other sites, too. Google is your friend. You know I’d love to come back any time you’ll have me!

Me: Take care, everybody, and keep rocking.

Tish: Thanks, Jason. I appreciate all your support over the years!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Tish and the boys from 3 Kisses. The Phile will be back next Sunday with artist Gene Guilmette. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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