Sunday, May 15, 2016

Pheaturing Robbie Rist

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? What's new? Here's a sweet story to start us off, and a great endorsement for Taco Bell. In February, 35-year-old Army vet Jake Booth came down with double pneumonia and then, while in the hospital, had a heart attack that put him in a coma (which is terrible, but if you're going to have a heart attack, a hospital is a good a place as any to do it). Doctors weren't sure he'd ever come out of it, and if he did, how much brain damage he might have suffered due to oxygen deprivation. After 48 days in a coma, Booth awoke, knew where he was, and recognized his daughter Eva, 6, and his son Aiden, 1. His speech was still impaired from the intubation and tracheotomy, but, in the kind of endorsement of which companies can only dream, he managed one very important sentence: "I want Taco Bell." Booth's older brother, Jason Schwartz, told "USA Today," "He actually said, out loud, 'I want Taco Bell.' That was the very first thing he said... When he starts getting into a full sentence, he can’t do it. But when he does one or two words at a time, you can definitely understand him. So when he asked for Taco Bell almost immediately, his friend Tyler definitely heard him say 'Taco Bell.' Tyler said, 'Do you want Taco Bell?' And Jake said, 'Yes.'" Booth couldn't eat solid meals at first, but the day after doctors gave him the okay, he enjoyed eight and a half Taco Bell Crunchy Tacos. Dreams do come true. Especially when they are not that difficult to procure. Schwartz said, "We’d all been waiting an entire month for him to eat those tacos. It was symbolic of the entire thing... more of a metaphor of him having woken up and being given a second chance at life." Someone at Taco Bell saw the picture his friend Tyler posted on Reddit, and the fast food company responded by sending Booth some Taco Bell swag and a hand-written note. Too bad it wasn't a hand-written check. According to Schwartz, Booth is still in the early stages of recovery, and Schwartz has started a GoFundMe page to help Booth's wife, Jasmine, and their kids, since Jason is not yet able to work. Schwartz told "USA Today," "I think a lot of people saw that video, and said, 'The guy’s eating tacos, what does he need donations for?' But the truth is, he has got years of therapy ahead of him. We really didn’t get a whole lot off almost two million hits, which is crazy. We want to make sure that people know he is not in the clear." Hang in there, Jake. There are many, many more tacos in your future.
Now that states like North Carolina have created laws that validate the feelings of weirdos who are afraid to go to the bathroom, who can the trans community turn to? They can turn to big business, of course. This country needs some big ole businesses to include the trans community as people, because that makes them customers, and there's nothing more American than capitalism. At least, that's the message Target CEO Brian Cornell made on CNBC's "Squawk Box," as he related the trans-phobes now to the racists of the 1960s. Well, kind of... As Cornell explained, "We've had a long history of embracing diversity and inclusion... if we went back to the mid '60s, our company was one of the very first to use African American models in advertising. And back then, well it wasn't well received." But they did it anyway, because not only is being an inclusive company simply the right thing to do, it is also profitable af. Cornell didn't SAY this was about money. But... he's a CEO. You don't get to be a CEO of a major corporation unless your mind is constantly kept on the bottom line, not the bathroom line. Target's principal seems simple and clear: we want all the customers, so stop letting your hatred get in the way of us making money.
It takes smarts to be a smartass. Even when they aren't correct, kids' test answers are often entertaining, and the latest viral math test is no exception. The sneaky seven-year-old nephew of Imgur user dpotter05 outsmarted his math test with a crafty cheat, making sure he got the answer right even when he didn't know what it was. His uncle posted the pic online with the title, "My nephew has some things figured out." He certainly does.

Keeping it one hundred(s place). Putting the requested number in all three places, the kid assured he'd get the question right and showed the teacher who's the boss. Finding a clever way out is just as impressive as knowing math. By the way, I suck at math and barely understand what those questions mean. Just sayin'.
The NYC Commission On Human Rights has released guidelines that assures New York's pregnant women that bartenders legally must serve them if they order alcohol. In the commission's own words: "[Restaurants and bars] cannot deny entrance to pregnant individuals to certain public accommodations, or refuse to serve certain food or drinks to pregnant individuals or individuals perceived to be pregnant." On that last part, refusing to give alcohol to someone who you just "perceive to be pregnant" is an insanely bold move for a server to make. Though mothers-to-be are strongly urged not to do any keg-stands or Patron challenges, the jury's not fully in on whether the occasional glass of chardonnay is truly harmful to a fetus' health. "Glamour" asked women's health expert Jennifer Wider M.D. about whether pregnant women should be imbibing at all. "No amount of alcohol has been proven to be safe. There are some doctors who will tell patients that an occasional glass of wine in the third trimester is safe, but because the effects can vary between individuals, it's better to be safe than sorry." It's up to you, pregnant mommies, and if you do choose to have a drink, your pregnant stomach is already the perfect surface to balance a wine glass on.
It seems a jokester with the name "Racist McShootface" decided to mess with George Zimmerman's gun auction. On Thursday, George Zimmerman announced that he is selling the gun he used to kill Trayvon Martin. Soon after, a bidder with the screen name Racist McShootface hijacked the auction on the website United Gun Group and drove the price north of $65 million. Then a few others joined in on the fun. The gun had originally been listed on, but it was removed after it received an incredible amount of negative attention. The new listing remains, though it seems United Gun Group does not have a system in place to prevent anyone from registering and entering fake bids of up to $65 million. Here are the bids from Racist McShootface before the account was suspended. After Racist McShootface was suspended, some brothers in (sarcastic) arms joined in on the fun...

There may even be some subtle, less obvious troll names. Uproxx points out that "Henry Johnson" may refer to an African American World War I hero who posthumously received the Medal of Honor from President Obama. As of the publishing of this article, it appears there are legitimate bids nearing half a million dollars, plus one more new troll that made a bid for $65 million. The auction ends next week. Only then will it become clear if the gun actually sold for several hundred thousand dollars (or more). And some more awesome troll names should pop up by then, too.
So, you know Ted Cruz dropped out of the race... well, for some reason he's still coming out with new slogans.

Poor Ted. So, everyone is raving how good Spider-Man is in the new Civil War movie, but I am not so sure...

I love mac and cheese, and now that Kraft has changed it a little, they came out with an odd new slogan...

Haha. So, do you have a Fitbit? I was thinking of getting one, especially now they have badges for lazy people.

I love watching the news, and unlike the Phile, they occasionally will make a mistake...

You know, one thing about me is I play by the rules n life. I never break the rules, unlike the person that did this...

How can they? Ugh! Okay, so, you know I live in Florida, well, there's some things that happen in Florida that happen nowhere else in the Universe. That's why I have this pheature called...

Police Chief Melvin Tennyson of Groveland, Florida... where I used to live... was brought low by the power of Internet justice this week, forced to write himself and pay a $45 parking ticket after a local citizen posted photos of the chief's parking talents to Facebook. Recently, the Groveland PD had been issuing tickets to homeowners for leaving their cars at the end of the driveway in such a way that it would block the sidewalk. Needless to say, this was quite irritating to homeowners, who felt like they had the right to park all the way down their driveway, even if pedestrians have to walk around. In this atmosphere of community irritation, the time was ripe for a photo to go viral of the police chief disobeying his own department's initiative.

I know exactly where that is. After resident David Bires made that post on May 10th, neighbors quickly took notice, criticizing the chief for disregarding everyone's least-favorite new rule. Fortunately, for Groveland and for community-police relations everywhere, Chief Tennyson acted quickly, uploading this response the next day...

There you have it, folks. The police can respond quickly to concerns... if you catch them red-handed and post it in public and people actually notice. Good job, Chief Tennyson, and stay off the sidewalk.

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. You should, it's an easy one. And now for some sad news...

William Schallert 
July 6th, 1922 — May 8th, 2016
IMDB has him at 374 acting credits up until 2014, then NOTHING. Slacker.

Okay, this is cool... today's pheaured guest is is an actor and musician. He is known for playing Cousin Oliver in "The Brady Bunch." Please welcome to the Phile... Robbie Rist.

Me: Hi there, Robbie, welcome to the Peverett Phile. So, how are you?

Robbie: Good. Just got my new recording studio (ValleyHollah) up and running so I am dividing my time between recording bands, doing voice work and chasing down electrical problems.

Me: Okay, I have to ask you about Cousin Oliver. Here's a pic of you back then...

Me: Was that the first big role you had?

Robbie: Well... hmmmmm....big... I guess. I had done a whole lot of work before the Brady gig (I worked with John Denver, Jonathan Winters, some episodic TV stuff... maybe 100 or so commercials) but I think the Brady's was the one that over the years brought me the most recognition so... let's say yes. Yes it was.

Me: You were about five or six, right, when you were on "The Brady Bunch." Do you have a lot of good memories from doing that show?

Robbie: I was actually nine (I looked a lot younger) and yeah, it was a complete blast. Nice people, good atmosphere... didn't have to go to school... I actually have mostly great memories from my time in entertainment.

Me: Did the cast or you know that was the last season? You were just a kid, so you probably didn't know.

Robbie: I had no idea. They told us it wasn't coming back around the end of summer as I remember.

Me: After "The Brady Bunch" ended you went to another huge show, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." You played Ted Baxter's son, right? Was that a good experience?

Robbie: Amazing experience. I have noticed over the years that the greatest people tend to be the ones who are really established and don't have anything to prove anymore. Everyone on "MTM" was a monster performer and because they were so good at their job, there was no ego, no slamming doors. None of that douchey Christian Bale crap.

Me: Most Phile phans would know that you were on "Galactica 80" though. Who did you play on that show, and what did you think of the new Galactica show?

Robbie: I played the young blonde (arian?) genius, Dr. Zee. They repleaced me after three episodes... so goes the biz...

Me: A few years ago they came out with a new "Battlestar Galactica" show which was great. Did you watch it?

Robbie: I haven't seen a single episode of the new Galactica because I am so busy with music and acting and stuff. Not too much time for TV (okay, I love me some Colbert but that's about it).

Me: Here's a pic of you as Dr. Zee by the way...

Me: Are you still acting, or just concentrating on music?

Robbie: Someone told me a long time ago that the key to surviving entertainment is to not specialize. So, I don't. I am either engineering, producing or playing music (I play with former Translator singer Steve Barton. Nice Guy Eddie. The Mockers. I am currently producing Finland Station, Suzy and Los Quattro and Slapdash, working on a crime noir web series called "Mr. Happy," a cartoon called "Oliver Twisted" about my life as a 'd' list celebrity, I produced a low budget horror film I keep busy.

Me: You do a bunch of voice over roles, Robbie. Are they fun to do? A good friend of mine named Nick Jameson says it's pretty easy, easier then acting anyway.

Robbie: Nick is a very talented guy and a kick ass musician as well (I think we both know of certain band he used to associate with). But I both agree and disagree about voice over work. I think it is the hardest acting to do up until you get the hang of it. THEN it starts get easier.

Me: You're now a musician, which is cool. When did you start playing in bands, and decided you wanted to be a musician?

Robbie: I was playing music before anything else. I was playing violin at three, piano at five. Then I later learned guitar, bass, drums, mandolin and banjo. I don't think I chose to be a musician, I think it chose me.

Me: What instruments do you play, and do you sing?

Robbie: Yeah, I sing and write songs as well. I was a lead singer for 8 years in Wonderboy  as well as The Andersons (

Me: Tell the readers about the movie Stump The Band. Did you direct, produce, write it? When will it be out?

Robbie: Well, it's out now,, it came out ten ears ago. You can pick up a copy through our website,, or Netflix has it too. I produced, was on set sound, music supervisor, I wrote and recorded the score... I wore a lot of hats. It's the heart warming story of a female rock band out on the road who get attacked by three guys who collect women's feet.

Me: Hahahaha. Great premise. Do you still talk to the other Brady cast, Robbie?

Robbie: I have actually been seeing quite a bit of those people lately. Susan, Mike, Chris and I have been doing some autograph shows of late so we have been having quite the ball.

Me: What did you think of Christopher Knight's reality show he had a few years ago?

Robbie: The guy's is working his ass off. Good on him.

Me: I work at Disney and have met Maureen McCormick, who was as sweet as could be, and Barry Williams, who was a dick. Haha. I used to have the biggest crush on Maureen by the way. You seem the coolest though, Robbie. Would you ever do a "Brady Bunch" reunion? You weren't in the "Brady Bunch" movies, were you?

Robbie: First off, thank you, that's very flattering although Susan absolutely BURIES me in the cool department. She is truly one of the most unique individuals I have ever met. I wasn't in the movies or any of the comeback specials as I believe the Oliver character was a network decision and the producers just don't see him as a real part of the cast. That said, reunion show? Hell yeah! I just want to work...

Me: Okay, my friend, I hope this was fun, and I hope to interview you again. Go ahead and plug whatever you want, and mention your website. Also, if someone wanted to buy any of your music, where would they go?

Robbie: Thank you! Lemme know when you get it online and I will post about it. You can purchase the Steve Barton, Slapdash, Kingsizemaybe (a country band I produced and played guitar for), Suzy and Los Quattro records through iTunes.

Me: Thanks again, and take care.

Robbie: You too. Thanks again!

There you go, that about does it for this entry. Thanks to Robbie for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with singer Jillian Valentine. She's hot and talented. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let alligators and snakes bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Tooting is the best!

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker


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