Sunday, April 10, 2016

Pheaturing Phile Alum Tommy Henriksen

Hey there, and welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? It's National Siblings Day, so I just wanted to remind my sisters, Lucy and Leila how lucky you are to have me as a brother. Okay, let's talk about something really important. AHHH nerds! Congratulations! There's a teaser trailer out for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, and it kicks ass. Set in a time after the prequel movies but before the original trilogy (and long before The Force Awakens), Rogue One tells the story of the men and women who stole the plans for the Death Star, helping Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Han Solo save the day in Episode IV. Anyway, if you haven't seen the trailer yet, be warned, it's a little too fucking amazing. Obviously, Twitter is going crazy. Some geeks, of course, were annoyed that this is the second film in a row in the Star Wars universe starring a woman (Felicity Jones) instead of a normal person (the only normal people are straight white guys with short haircuts and round rock-hard muscles; everyone else is a freak). But most people loved it, because if women have had to identify with male action heroes for decades, male Star Wars fans can deal with having the Hologame tables turned for a little bit.
A nurse in Paris, Texas was working late in the night when hunger hit, so he put in an order for a Domino's pizza just five minutes before the shop was closing. CBS11 reported that the pizza arrived at the hospital dripping with cheesy warmth... and a side of sass in the form of a handwritten note on the box.

The nurse sent a photo of the box (hopefully after enjoying his hard-earned pizza) to his friend, who has since taken up a crusade for him. “It was the rudest thing I’ve ever seen,” the friend, Kerry Miller, told CBS11. While the local branch hasn't shared any words of regret, a Domino's spokesman stated, “We do not condone or encourage this kind of behavior or one-sided ‘dialogue’ with our customers." Presumably, whoever wrote the note now feels a bit bad for complaining about a delivery to a hospital, also known as that place where people's lives are saved. At least it wasn't some poor patient who was on the receiving end of this sass. The nurse has surely gotten much worse treatment and will survive the failed guilt-trip.
In today's weird news, actor Nic Cage and Mötley Crüe member Vince Neil threw down in public. It's a sight to be seen. According to TMZ, the brawl happened on Thursday evening outside a Las Vegas hotel. Thankfully, the last few seconds of this weird car wreck of a fight were caught on video. The longtime friends both seem a little worse for wear. "Stop this shit now," Cage can be heard yelling to Neil. (Of course Cage is yelling. What other volume does Nic Cage speak at?) The tussle between the two stemmed from an earlier incident in the hotel, when a woman asked Cage for his autograph. Neil was not cool with this occurrence (even though it must happen all the time), so he grabbed her hair and tossed her to the ground. Cage tried to get Neil to chill the hell out, and took him outside. There, Neil eventually gave up and rested his face upon Cage's shoulder. "I love you," it sounds like Neil says at the end of the video. BFFs. "The NY Daily News" stated that Neil received a citation for misdemeanor battery, and could either get hit with a fine of up to $1,000 or a six-month stint in jail. The woman may not have gotten her autograph, but she got a batshit story. Better? Worse?
You don't need to keep track of your daily steps for a fitness tracker to improve your health. According to Gizmodo, one New Jersey man's FitBit saved his life after he had a seizure and E.R. doctors used the device's information to "reset his heart rate with an electrical cardioversion." Don't worry if that medical jargon flew over your head. All you need to need to know is "FitBit good, FitBit make man not die." The medical team at Camden's Our Lady of Lourdes Medical Center saw that the patient was experiencing an "atrial fibrillation (an irregular and fast heart beat)." Unsure if it was a chronic condition or a result of the seizure, they took a peek at the FitBit's data, and reported the results in their report for the Annals of Emergency Medicine. "During the patient’s examination, it was noted that he was wearing a wrist activity tracker (Fitbit Charge HR, Fitbit, San Francisco, CA), which was synchronized with an application on the patient’s smartphone, recording his pulse rate as part of a fitness program. The application was accessed on the patient’s smartphone and revealed a baseline pulse rate between 70 and 80 beats/min, with an immediate persistent increase to a range of 140 to 160 bpm at the approximate time of the patient’s seizure. The pulse rate remained elevated until administration of the diltiazem in the field." This was essential to know, because the electrical cardioversion (also knowns as an electrocardioversion) could've caused a stroke if the arrhythmia was a chronic condition. Ultimately, the FitBit data proved the atrial fibrillation was a result of the seizure and the electrocardioversion procedure was safe to perform, marking the "first time in medical history that the information in an activity tracker-smartphone system was used to assist in specific medical decision-making." If this doesn't inspire you to get your steps in, nothing will.
Oh no. Oh God. Someone did it. Someone Photoshopped the spray tan off of Donald Trump's face. Yes, that's right: all this time it's actually been Donald's oft-mocked orange tan that was holding his face together to keep it from looking like an albino swellshark. Oh God. Oh no. As a reminder of what Donald Trump's face normally looks like, turn on a cable news channel at literally any hour of any day... scratch that, here you go...

Okay, so, that is the starting point. That is the before. You can make whatever judgment you want about how The Donald currently looks, but at very least everyone is used to this particular face by now. But now. You might need a moment. Trigger warning: Donald Trump's face without a spray tan ahead.

Horrifying. Still: not as horrifying as what he has actually said about women.
So, I was in the book store the other day and I saw a new Dr. Seuss book I have never seen before...

Hmmm. You know, I live when kid's draw. They are very innocent, and most of the time they don't know what they are drawing. Like this drawing for instance...

They're playing leap-frog. This year as you know I hope, is the Phile's 10th anniversary and I have been showing you pictures of what people look like when they are reading the Phile.

I think he's mad 'cause he cannot figure out a Mindphuck. So, are you kids excited about the new Dr. Strange movie that's coming out this year? I have an exclusive picture of the film, kids.

I didn't know the Doctors were supposed to be in it. Hmmm. I'm confused. You know, you may be cool... but you will never be Benedict Cumberland buying "Dr. Strange" comics as Dr. Strange cool.

Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Phacts And Phigures From The 2016 Election
5. 12%: Iowa voters who said that Donald Trump's hosting "Saturday Night Live" was the deciding factor in voting for him.
4. Under $250,000: The amount of money projected to be spent on campaign ads in "Cat Fancy' and "Barely Legal Teens," combined.
3. 1: Number of battleground states that can be anagrammed to spell "cows in sin" (Wisconsin).
2. $37.14: Money raised (as of today) by a Kickstarter campaign to get George Pataki to re-enter the race.
And the number one fact and figure from the 2016 election is...
1. 11/9/2016: Date on which campaigning for the 2020 election will begin in earnest. 

If you spot the Mindphuck please let me know. Haha. Okay, so, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's some strange things that happen in Florida that happen nowhere else. That's why I have a pheature here called...

It's not unusual to face a ruckus while ordering a Frappuccino, but it is rare to be chased out because of democratic discourse. A hero in downtown Gainesville, Florida encountered the state's governor, Rick Scott, at Starbucks. And she seized the opportunity to call him out for shrinking Medicaid and his anti-abortion bill. The woman, Cara Jennings, who makes crucial points and is a Sarah Silverman sound-alike, is arguably the most dignified person in Florida. "Shame on you Rick Scott! Rich people like you don't know what to do. When poor people need health services, you cut 'em!" she says, "Shame on you, Rick Scott! You're an embarrassment to our state!" Now that's how you get a governor to wake up and smell the coffee.

Merle Haggard 
April 6th, 1937 — April 6th, 2016
The Okie from Muskogee has gone Croakie.

Trump University
Trump University was an American online education company whose degrees were worth as much as a humanities degree from a real university.

The 46th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Phile Alum and author Jim Korkis will be the guest on the Phile next Thursday.

This is so fucking cool! Today's pheatured guest is a Phile Alum from Port Jefferson, New York best known for his work as a singer/songwriter/artist with Alice Cooper and Hollywood Vampires, whose self-titled album "Hollywood Vampires" is available on iTunes. His great solo album "Tommy! Tommy!! Tommy!!!" is also available on iTunes. Please welcome back to the Phile, my friend... Tommy Henriksen!

Me: Tommy! How are you, man? Welcome back to the Phile.

Tommy: Hi, Jason, all is really great at the moment... thanks for having me back!

Me: Okay, I have to tell you something first... last year you were kinda enough to get my son backstage passes for the Alice Cooper and Mötley Crüe show in Maryland. He was so excited to meet you and is still talking about it to this day. So, thank you. Was he shy?

Tommy: Not at all... he's a great kid!! I love to see kids backstage and see their reaction... because when I was a kid I always wanted to go backstage and see what the band was doing...

Me: Logan is into music, as his grandfather was Lonesome Dave and being a teenager he is just starting to ask a lot of questions. I was probably about five when I started to realize what my dad did for a living... you have a son... does he realize do you think what you do for a living?

Tommy: First off... your dad... L.D.P. should be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Mr.Finn is really getting it... it surprised me how much he digs it... he knows who Uncle Alice is, Aunt Sheryl and his uncle's/aunt in the band... and looks like he's having fun!! I love that I'm doing this at the moment and Finn get's to see this!!

Me: How old is your son Finn, Tommy? I have to say you are a good looking family.

Tommy: Awe, thanks, J.P... Mr.Finn will be 3 on June 11th... his good looks come from his mommy! 

Me: By the way, what did you think in the new Star Wars movie there's a character named Finn?

Tommy: I thought that was cool!! And the fact he was black was even cooler!! A lot of Finn's will becoming into this world!!

Me: Anyway, I can't thank you enough for hooking Logan and his mom up with tickets and backstage passes, man. Did you have a good time on that tour with the Crüe  Do you think it's really their last tour?

Tommy: No problem... very lovely family you have!! The Mötley/Alice tour was great!! We played all the areana's and was mostly sold out shows and Nikki was so kind to alice and the band!! We all hit it off really well! Mick was just so much fun to be around and vince was awesome!! I maybe said 2 words to Tommy Lee...

Me: Logan and I were talking about you being at the Grammy's playing with Hollywood Vampires. I have a great picture of the Hollywood Vampires I have to show.

Me: What a crazy line-up for a band, which we will talk about in a minute. Did you have a good time there?

Tommy: Yes... that was a bucket list moment for me...

Me: Was there anybody you met at the Grammy's you got star struck over? Do you get star struck?

Tommy: Quincy Jones.

Me: Alright, I have to talk about Hollywood Vampires... this is such a cool idea and a helluva super group. Tell the readers who are in the group, Tommy.

Tommy: The vampires are: Johnny Depp, Alice Cooper, Joe Perry, Duff Mckagen, Matt Sorum, Bruce Witkin, and Tommy Henriksen.

Me: You've been playing and working with Alice Cooper for awhile now, did he invite you to be a part of this new band?

Tommy: It was Bob Ezrin and Alice... I co-produced the record with Bob Ezrin and Bruce Witkin... and put together all the demo's for the record... pre-production with Bruce.

Me: When you first met Johnny Depp, were you surprised he was such a musician?

Tommy: I knew he played guitar... but how great of a player and person Johnny is... I had no idea!! He's loyal and has integrity! I respect J.D. so much!

Me: There's a story of what the band is about, am I right?

Tommy: Yes, the band is about Alice's old drinking buddies from the Rainbow!! Their club was called the Hollywood Vampires!

Me: The album is great, Tommy. And you have more people on it than I thought... Orianthi, Dave Grohl, Slash, Brian Johnson, Joe Walsh, Perry Farrell, and Zak Starkey... and fucking Paul McCartney. What was it like working with all those legends?

Tommy: Working with your idol's is something that you dream about! And when it happens... you're like... Thank You !!

Me: The Hollywood Vampires album is a mix of cover songs and original songs... you even co-wrote a few. First of, how were the covers chosen, Tommy? Did Alice or any of the other guys pick them or was it a group thing?

Tommy: Yes... plus originals we all wrote... then we put a list together of all the dead drunk friends of Alice's...

Me: The originals are really cool. Did you have fun writing with other people for this album?

Tommy: Oh yea... I love co-writing with Johnny and Bruce, Alice and Bob.

Me: So, will there be another album of this band do you think?

Tommy: We are writing songs for the next Hollywood Vampires record as we speak! Gonna be all original material for the next record!

Me: Tommy, you are originally from Port Jeff, which we talked about the last time you were here. Have you been back there lately?

Tommy: No... next time I'm on Long Island I have to hit it.

Me: The last time I was there was last December... I love going back and miss it a lot. I'll be back there for a day in May. Is there anything about it you miss the most?

Tommy: The pizza!

Me: You live in Switzerland now, right? What's the best part about living there?

Tommy: Yes... I'm still here! Switzerland is so clean! And the people are really smart!

Me: I can't remember if I asked you this before, but how did you end up way over there?

Tommy: The usual story... boy meets girl!!

Me: Alright, I have to talk about your solo album "Tommy! Tommy!! Tommy!!!" Where did the title come from, Tommy? Haha. I know it's your name, but how did you come up with that title?

Tommy: Well... Sparky, a friend of mine came up with... "Tommy! Tommy!! Tommy!!!" and I liked it... so it just worked!!

Me: Do you like doing your own thing better or playing in a super group or in Alice's band?

Tommy: I love doing it all...

Me: Who plays on the album with you?

Tommy: I played everything... and had guest solo guitar players from Steve Hunter, Satchel, Jon Levin, Joey Sykes, Jason Roller...

Me: I love the song "Teenage Kicks Pt. 2." Was there a "Part 1"?

Tommy: "Part 1" was already written by The Undertones... so i figured we need a "Part 2"... haha.

Me: The song "All My Heroes" have a lot of cool bands and singers mentioned... did you mention Foghat?

Tommy: Haha. I forgot to mention a lot of groups... after i wrote it... I was like... I need another minute for all the other bands!!

Me: Who were some of your influences growing up in Port Jeff?

Tommy: The Rondinelli's, Foghat, Mike Wolfe, Felix Papalardi...

Me: So, I have a "band" called Strawberry Blondes Forever (check us out on iTunes), and I write the lyrics... does lyric writing come easy for you, Tommy?

Tommy: Never... it's always hard for me... because I want the lyrics to be honest, cool, street and punk and clever!!

Me: I think you could do a great version of my song "I Wish I Was a Beatle." Do you like working on covers?

Tommy: That's a great concept!! I will check it out!

Me: I think it's cool there's a song on the album called "Mr. Finn" named after your son. When you played it for your wife I bet she cried, am I right?

Tommy: No... she didn't... I did... I wanted to write a song for him so he will always remember how much I love him!!

Me: Do you see him becoming a musician in the future, Tommy?

Tommy: I don't know... a musician in the future looks rough... no one wants to pay for music... but if he wants to be a musician i will back him 100%.

Me: I was fucked over with musical talent, but I do play the kazoo, so if you or the Vampires need a kazoo player... Hahaha.

Tommy: I will get a kazoo solo for you on my new record!!

Me: Cool! Hey, I just read your album is gonna be released on vinyl. Very cool. Do you collect vinyl? I used to, but have slowed down. My dad if you remember had a HUGE vinyl collection.

Tommy: Yes, I do remember... it's out on Bellyache Records! Scotty is the best and his company is awesome!!

Me: Alright, so, this year is the Phile's 10th anniversary and I am asking all Alum what they were doing in 2006. So, what were you doing back then? 2006...

Tommy: I had my own label through Interscope Records and was producing and finding talented kids and getting them record deals! That was a fun time for me!

Me: Tommy, what's next for you? Any new recordings or another Cooper tour. I hope to see you on tour next time.

Tommy: I'm making a new solo record, a new Alice Cooper record, a Hollywood Vampire record and we tour with Alice/Vampires this year! So it will be busy and exciting!! Hope to see you at one of the shows!!

Me: Thanks for being back, and please come back again soon. All the best. Rock on!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Tommy for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with musician Scott Holt from the new cool band Earl and the Agitators. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Tooting is the best. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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