Hello, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How's it going? I just got back from vacation and have bronchitis. Acute bronchitis, even though there's nothing cute about it. Well, good-bye to Prince from the millions of people conceived while his music was playing. On April 15th, the "When Doves Cry" singer was forced to make an emergency landing in his private plane because of severe flu symptoms. He later appeared in concert and reassured his fans that he was fine. But with this week's news, it seems he failed to fully recover. The world has lost a one-of-a-kind entertainer. And 2016 has confirmed its reputation as the worst year ever. After reports that music icon Prince's death were confirmed, MTV did a surprisingly cool thing by canceling all of their regularly scheduled programming to air an all-day Prince music video marathon. They even made their logo purple in memory of the late musician. It was a relief for many, considering that "Music Television" hardly plays any music nowadays, but instead runs TV shows about pregnant teenagers and other stuff like that. However, despite the best intentions of the marathon, a certain video popped up that was definitely not like the others. Whoops. Wrong Prince! People mourning the loss of Prince were caught off guard by suddenly hearing the song "Girls Ain't Nothing but Trouble" by The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff (yeah, the one that references false rape accusations) in the middle of the tribute.
So how did this happen?
In February, artist Illma Gore got a huge reception for her painting of a nude Donald Trump with a very small penis, and now Trump and his lawyers are threatening to sue her. The image went viral after she posted it, probably due to Trump's own frantic defense of the size of his hands and manhood. The suit's claims are based on the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and Trump's lawyers are trying to block Gore from making any profit from Trump's likeness. Because of the lawsuit threats, she is unable to sell the painting in America, and it is often removed from social media sites, including being de-listed from eBay. In the end, experts expect Trump to lose because he is a political public figure, and one of the things that makes America so great is that political speech (which this painting definitely is) is guaranteed maximum protection under the First Amendment. The Maddox Gallery in London currently has her painting on display, and it has attracted purchase offers of over $100,000. Certainly, anyone else who painted Trump with a tiny peen must be super jealous of that throbbing figure. Here's her original painting, I hope it doesn't give you nightmares...
She told the 'New York Daily News" that she has no intention of backing down, and even has another Trump painting in the works. Maybe it will reveal those sweet man boobs hiding behind his arms.
Even as a "lame duck" president, Barack Obama is probably still the most powerful and famous person in the world. But His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge, age 2, will be the King of England someday, so he can do whatever the hell he wants... including meeting the leader of the free world in a robe-and-slipper combo that even Hugh Hefner might find a bit casual. George "I don't give a fuck" Mountbatten-Windsor also thanked the president for the rocking horse that Obama gave him when he was born. He's lucky that Obama is historically good with adorable children.
By the time Fran Drozdz, a 72-year-old cancer survivor, crossed the Boston Marathon finish line, workers and cleaning crews were already disassembling the grandstand. It took her over nine hours to complete the 26.2 mile long race, and her husband said he was so worried about her that he had the police out looking for her. Her husband eventually found her at the end of the race and walked hand in hand with her over the finish line. Said her husband, "She's 72 years old and she's done 77 marathons. I am one year older and I've done no marathons, so of course I'm proud of her!" The next-to-last runner, a double amputee named Daryl Farler, finished the marathon over three hours ahead of Fran. Drozdz, who also goes by the name "Thunder Thighs," came to the Boston Marathon all the way from Arizona, where she currently resides. She was running for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and in honor of her husband, who is battling cancer for the third time. Thunder Thighs claims that she has run at least one marathon in every state including Washington D.C. This year's Boston Marathon was her seventy-seventh race. As she was receiving her medal, she explained "I get a medal? Oh yay, for my husband!" She may have placed 26,639th in the race, but she's clearly first place in your hearts.
So, when I was on vacation last week I went to my first MLB game... the Marlins/Braves game. Over the past century and a half in America, hundreds of millions of first-time male and female baseball fans have attended baseball games and wondered to themselves, "Hold up, how long is this thing? Do I need to call the babysitter and tell them to just adopt my kids? Is my will prepared?" Usually, however, they make it past the second inning. Not so much for this woman, who has gone hilariously viral for the exasperated-sounding article she was spotted reading less than a third of the way into the game. Since it was taken on April 13, the game is probably over... but this is baseball, so there's no guarantee.
By the way, I made it through all 9 innings... we left before the game was over. It went into overtime or whatever they call it in baseball. AndI loved it, and can't wait to go again.
Alright, there's a new album that's out that I have to get...
I bet it's great! So, you heard that Donald Trump mixed up 9/11 and 7-11 at his New York rally, right? Well, it turned out he didn't mix anything up after all. He was talking about this...
A whole different attack. So, I was gone from work for over a week and in the meantime they released this poster...
What? I saw this picture the other day...
And I was like, where did I see something lime that before? Then it hit me.
Very similar, right? So, did you see Kraft's new mac and cheese slogan?
I love me some mac and cheese. Some magazines like to show you what celebrities look like without their makeup on so I thought that's a great idea, I'll do the same on the Phile. So, here you go...
Hahahaha. Who is that on the right? He's from The NeverEnding Story I think. Okay, and now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Other Tragedies Donald Trump Recalled
5. "We must never forget the horrors of China's Cinnabon Square!"
4. "One of the worst things that ever happened was the Larry Bird Disaster!"
3. "The Gulf of Mexico can't afford another Deepwater Verizon!"
2. "I was outraged by the sinking of the Bob Costas Concordia!"
And the number one tragedy recalled by Trump is...
1. Never again can we endure a catastrophe like Barnes & Noble!"
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, as you know by now Prince has passed away. Well, a friend of the Phile has something to say about him. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man, You know what time it is...
Good morning, humans... Happy Sunday, Phuckerz! Spent this past Thursday with my son. When he asked me if I ever met Prince, I said... no. I explained how brilliant he was... how his mother and I used to go to the drive-in and watch Purple Rain over and over with the roof down under the stars. Pulled up the movie and we watched it together. When these songs came up, my son turned to me and said, "Pop... Two things, first... This guy was a genius. Second... Today's music SUCKS!" So... then I told him that Apollonia is a friend of mine and she STILL looks amazing. Michael breaks out in a huge smile and motions his head towards the door. I look over to see my ex standing there with arms folded... just GLARING at me. "Yeah... your father always had the hots for her." After several seconds of uncomfortable silence... we both broke out laughing. I dunno... never met the man but I admired his work... and I'm pretty sure he'd find this story funny. Peace, Love & purple rain...
Prince
June 7th, 1958 — April 21st, 2016
Life is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last.
Chyna
December 27th, 1970 — April 20th, 2016
She wrestled chicks, filmed with dicks, and now she's on the river Styx.
Doris Roberts
November 4th, 1925 — April 18th, 2016
Everybody mourns, Raymond.
Baseball
Baseball is the only federally approved method of transporting Central American refugees to the United States.
Todd will be a guest on the Phile in a few weeks.
Today's pheatured guest is a talented musician from here in Central Florida whose new CD "Can't This Wait" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... Froomador.
Me: Hey, man, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Froomador: I’m well. Thanks for having me!
Me: Froomador is an unusual name... does it mean anything?
Froomador: Don’t reckon it’s found in the dictionary. Well, my last name is Froom, and the “ador” part indicates drawn influences from the Latin side of things. So I thought I’d just fuse them together.
Me: So, you're originally from Orlando... do you still live here?
Froomador: Yes, I was born and raised here.
Me: I am from England originally, but have lived in the Orlando area almost 29 years, and have worked at Disney since 1988. Have you ever worked for Disney?
Froomador: No, can’t say that I have.
Me: Did you go to the parks a lot growing up?
Froomador: Not too much to be honest. I do have a few fond childhood memories of screaming bloody-murder while hanging on for dear life on rides like Space Mountain, the Tea Cups, and Mr. Toad’s.
Me: You are more of a beach holing guy, right? I am not a big fan of the beach myself.
Froomador: Whenever possible, I love being in the water and experiencing the fun of the sun.
Me: You are an avid surfer, right? So, if you weren't a professional musician do you think you'll be a professional surfer?
Froomador: For me surfing is more a form a therapy than anything. Honestly I don’t think I have the competiveness in my bones to make it far in the surfing industry.
Me: So, growing up in Orlando did you go to concerts at The Edge, Visage, Jani Lane's Sunset Strip, or are you too young?
Froomador: No, unfortunately I missed out on going to those venues. I do remember my brother catching Nirvana come through, though.
Me: So, when did you decide you wanted to be a musician, man?
Froomador: Well, I fell in love with music at a very early age. However, I really only started pursuing it as a full-time career since a little over a year ago.
Me: How old were you when you first started playing guitar?
Froomador: I was 12 years old when my dad bought me my first guitar, and was hooked from then on.
Me: Your music has been compared to Jeff Buckley, Brian Wilson, and Coldplay. The first two are compliments. Hahaha. Are you fans of those guys?
Froomador: Ha! For sure! I was star-struck when I saw Brian Wilson live. Unfortunately I never got to see Jeff Buckley before his passing in 1997.
Me: What bands or musicians did you listen to growing up?
Froomador: I listened to a lot of The Beatles, Beach Boys and The Smiths. I also overheard a lot of The Cure blasting out from my older brother’s room.
Me: Was the guitar the first instrument you learnt how to play?
Froomador: Well, I started singing in elementary school choirs if that counts… followed by the trombone, then guitar.
Me: Okay, let's talk about your upcoming album "Can't This Wait." First of, shouldn't their be a question mark at the end of that title?
Froomador: Woops, guess I forgot that mark. Grammar check, please!
Me: What does the title mean?
Froomador: It has to do with my fascination with time and how we have no control over it. The artwork was meant to represent two unusual circumstances occurring simultaneously. I especially remember combating this feeling in college when an epic surf swell would show up during finals week. Although this particular situation is not as heavy as the album artwork, these occurrences have contributed to my appeal with timing.
Me: This isn't your first release, right?
Froomador: I had released an album called "Pavement Ends" back in 2007.
Me: So, do you have a band that plays on the album with you?
Froomador: Yes, I was fortunate enough to bring some really talented musicians on board namely, Joe Lederman on drums, Jayce Jimenez on horns, Jordan Jones on strings.
Me: Was it recorded in Orlando?
Froomador: Sure was. Writing the album I experienced many frustrating, yet exciting moments. I worked with Justin Beckler whom was excited to participate in the development of the album. Overall, the experience was enjoyable and I learned a lot from it.
Me: Your single "Solar Energy" will have a video filmed in Arizona... why out there?
Froomador: Filming this video was my first time on a set with a crew, which was very exciting! The storyline was something that the video producer Caleb Mixon helped me develop. The first half was filmed in one day at a studio in Orlando. For the second half, we flew out to a desert in Arizona/New Mexico in hopes of capturing the essence of the story. While there, I stayed in a house that was completely solar powered. As a result of this unique experience, I became more educated on the topic of sustainable energy and learned about creative ways of working with nature rather than against it.
Me: Did you see the solar panel fields Disney has? If you fly over in a plane it has the shape of Mickey. See?
Me: You could of put that in the video.
Froomador: No way! I had no idea. I’ll be sure to check them out.
Me: I like the cover artwork for the album, man. Who did it?
Froomador: Stan Chan, he lives out in L.A. He’s really an exceptional artist whom also happens to be a pleasure to work with.
Me: I know you're back in Orlando, but you traveled and lived in Argentina and Brazil for awhile. Two places I would never want to go... what made you decided to go there and what did you do once you were there?
Froomador: I had always wanted to learn to speak both Spanish and Portuguese and the University I was attending at the time offered a study-abroad program in Argentina and Brazil. So I ended up living a year down there studying and immersing myself in the culture. Overall, it was a very broadening and enriching experience.
Me: Would you ever go back?
Froomador: Definitely!
Me: Do you you think you'll be living in Orlando for awhile now?
Froomador: I think so, at least for the next couple of years.
Me: You also studied at Berklee like so many musicians I interviewed. What did you study there and how was that experience?
Froomador: I studied Jazz Composition. It was a wonderful experience. The school has students from all over the world. My roommates were from Turkey and Israel who both introduced me to music that I had never been exposed to before. Really opened my ears.
Me: Do you think your music has jazz influences?
Froomador: Certainly. When I studied at Berklee College of Music I absorbed a lot as part of the requirements were to listen to a wide-range of musicians from Chet Baker to Ella Fitzgerald to Wes Montgomery… and on and on.
Me: Froomador, thanks for being on the Phile. I hope you'll come back again real soon. Go ahead and mention your website and where we can purchase the album.
Froomador: My website is Froomador.com or you can head on over to cdbaby.com/cd/froomador or iTunes.
Me: All the best, continued success. Maybe I'll see you around town sometime.
Froomador: Thanks a lot for having me. Cheers!
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Laird Jim and Froomador. The Phile will be back tomorrow with singer Loren Smith. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Tooting is the best!
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker
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