Friday, October 3, 2014

Pheaturing Molly Roth

Hey there, welcome to another entry of the Phile. How are you doing?  Things are getting really bad for the Secret Service. In the wake of a number of extremely embarrassing and potentially catastrophic missteps by the federal agents tasked with keeping the President safe, Secret Service chief Julia Pierson, who said she wanted the agency to be more "friendly, inviting" and "like Disney World " has decided to step down and let somebody else do a terrible job running the agency for a while. With Secret Service director Julia Pierson's resignation, Obama's security will be led by Fox News, which needs him around more than anyone.  Celebrated filmmaker Quentin Tarantino... seemingly dissatisfied with only getting to force feed people his bizarre obsessions with obscure foreign films and trashy '70s-era exploitation by proxy through his own projects has taken over programming duties at New Beverly Cinema so that he may choose just what weird diet of Italian horror flicks and Richard Roundtree vehicles he thinks the theater's patrons should be consuming. Finally, a grindhouse theater willing to show Grindhouse.  In their continued quest to bring only the highest quality content to its customers, online streaming service Netflix has just inked a deal to finance and distribute the next four movies produced by Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions. This Netflix deal is perfect; if Adam Sandler's gonna phone in performances why must his fans be forced to get off their asses to see him?  It would appear as though extremely attractive actress Mila Kunis is actually in a real substantive relationship with "Two and a Half Men" co-star Ashton Kutcher. According to reports, Kunis gave birth to their first child on Tuesday, so if this is in fact a practical joke, it's an extremely elaborate one. I almost read an entire article on Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis' love affair before I realized no one was making me.  You may not believe that there is a man in the sky who frowns down upon all the dumb things you do in your life, but that's no longer a good excuse for not waking up early on Sunday mornings to listen to a bunch of people talk about a bunch of boring stuff. There's apparently a new trend of churches for atheists opening up around the country. Yep, atheists are filling the interminable-Sunday-morning-service-shaped hole in their hearts.  I just read this funny story about a weather lady who stormed out after a giant bee appeared during a live broadcast.

Too bad there's no Windex in the forecast. If giant bees the size of a human head actually existed, being afraid of them would be perfectly understandable. But they don't. Still, Fox 59 News meteorologist Jennifer Ketchmark isn't taking any chances, even after her coworkers at the news desk were kind enough to take the time and explain to her that at no point was she in danger of being attacked by a foot-long, ten-pound bee. Because, A) they're not an actual thing, and B) the bee in the picture was outside, not inside. Doesn't matter; Jennifer is taking this drill seriously. If and when we are attacked by huge, deadly bees, she won't be caught standing around. In Jennifer's defense I would of done the same thing. I was driving to work on Wednesday and a bloody frog was on the hood of my car, which freaked me out. I kept thinking, "Don't jump not the windshield, don't jump onto the windshield", and then it jumped onto my windshield which really freaked me out. I hate that. even though it was outside and just a frog, I get all scared and nervous, gripping my steering wheel. And I am scared and allergic to bees so I would of freaked out as well if I was that weather person.  Kids, Halloween is just around the corner. They now have sexy Frozen Halloween costumes that are so hot they'd make Olaf melt. Okay, that was a bit misleading. Actually, one of these sexy Frozen costumes is Olaf. Yes, if a snowman can be turned into a sexy Halloween costume, then all bets are off. Literally, the only non-sexy Halloween costume remaining is the three-boobed woman. Costume site revealed these "sexy" Halloween costumes based on Frozen characters just in time for you to buy and wear anything else at all. Sure, they disguised who the characters really are by calling them things like "Fearless Snow Princess," "Ice Queen," "Blue Snow Queen" and "Funny Snowman," but it's pretty obvious who they're supposed to be. There's sexy Elsa...

Sexy Anna...

And as promised, sexy Olaf...

More like Sexy Snowman. Sadly, it appears these costumes may have been removed by, presumably because of the obvious and egregious copyright infringement. But that just means you have the opportunity to get creative and make your own!  Hey, good news if you live in Saudi Arabia and are a woman... you are not allowed to drive, but you have to drive something like this...

Do you kids like those Jump Street movies with Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill? Well, they just came out with 22 Jump Street and now, right after that 23 Jump Street is coming out. Here's the poster for it...

Hahaha. Turn your head and cough.  Okay, so, yesterday I mentioned on the Phile that for Breast Cancer Awareness Month this year I was gonna show a series of some amazing mastectomy tattoos. And then I thought that would be disrespectful and not the best thing to do as I don't wanna offend anymore. So, I asked you, my readers, to let me know if I should show them or not. And I have to say not one of you said no, you all said yes, that I should show them in honor of those who have passed from breast cancer. One reader said, "You'll always find someone who will complain. Do it anyway!" Another said, "State your purpose and reasoning and you are good. It's your blog anyway." So, I am gonna show them through the month of October. So, here we go...

A three-time cancer survivor has revealed a tattoo of fairies and butterflies in place of her breasts. Kelly Davidson submitted the candid snap to Facebook's "Why We Ink" page, which hosts images of those marking their own battles with the disease, or honoring loved ones who lost theirs. In the caption that accompanies the post, Davidson writes that her "tattoo symbolises a transformation, my metamorphosis, like a butterfly I changed on the outside but remained the same on the inside." The 34 year old woman was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma at the age of 11. At 28 she contracted breast cancer and had a double mastectomy, and two years ago she beat thyroid cancer.

Haha. That's an easy one. If you spot the Mindphuck email me at Okay, so, in a few weeks I will be posting the Phile from Long Island. And I thought it'll be cool if I had any of my L.I. readers take a picture of something typical Long Island and email it to me. I will pick the best three and post them here on the Phile. So, go ahead and email those pics to Speaking of Long Island, a good friend of the Phile who loves there wanted to come on the Phile and talk about something that happened to him. He's a patriot, singer and renaissance man... you know what time it is...

So, I walked into this bar for a few bourbons one night and they were setting up a karaoke machine. The bartender was cute so I figured I'd show off. I asked her what song she'd like to hear. She rolls her eyes and torts... "Oh... YOU'RE a singer...? Okay... Impress, me sweetie." Now the little twatwaffler pissed me off. I shot her a look that could peel paint and said, "Darlin'... not only will I impress you... but I'll bet you a round that when I'm done, you're gonna need to sit on a fucking sponge." I had the karaoke jock pull up Paul Carrack's "Don't Shed a Tear" and I nailed it note for note. When I finished, I walked through the crowd and right up her and smiled. She shoved a beer and bourbon towards me in a huff and says, "Glad I didn't bet a blow job."... I ended with... "So am I darlin'... I just wanted a few drinks and to see that look on your face... goodnight." Truth is, my freaky little darlings... I've kicked better looking than HER out of my bed simply because their perfume annoyed me.

Today's guest is a singer whose debut single "Pin Me Up" is available on iTunes. Please welcome to the Phile... the talented and gorgeous... Molly Roth!

Me: Hello, Molly, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Molly: I’m good, thanks!

Me: Okay, I am gonna be honest... when I was asked if I’d be interested in interviewing you for the Phile I thought yes, right away, even before I heard your music. I'm a sucker for the pin up look. Then I heard your song "Pin Me Up" and really liked it. Whew! Anyway, you must be a fan of the pin up look as well, right?

Molly: Absolutely!

Me: Are you a Betty Page fan? She's one of my favorites. Ever see that movie about her?

Molly: Yes, I am a fan! I make references to her in, “Pin Me Up” because she’s the first person that comes to mind when I think of ‘pin up’. I have seen the movie, I love it!

Me: What was the influence behind the song, Molly, and will you be making a video to go with it?

Molly: Well, the song is kind of an introduction to me as an artist and I draw from the many facets of my own personality... the glamour, the model, the sweetheart, the party girl... and I wanted it to be a fun summer jam people can just listen to in their car with friends. There could possibly be a video in the future, Jason.

Me: Who did the photography for the pin up shoot? It's very good. I have to show this pic...

Molly: Robert Alvarado… he is one of my favorite contemporary pin up photographers. I still can’t believe I worked with him!

Me: Molly, you're originally from North Carolina, right, but now live in California?

Molly: Yes.

Me: What part of North Carolina are you from?

Molly: Wilmington. It’s a cute small southern town on the coast.

Me: When did you first move to California?

Molly: My mother and brother moved to California when I was ten.

Me: Oh, I thought you moved there to be a musician.

Molly: No. I wanted to be a musician since I was maybe seven or eight years old. I moved from northern California to Los Angeles after I graduated high school to pursue a career though.

Me: You started out very young playing piano, right? How old were you and what kind of stuff did you play?

Molly: I was six years old and I played classical music.

Me: Was it fun, or were you forced to do it?

Molly: It was completely on my own terms. I wanted to do it. I MADE my mom take me.

Me: And when you were fourteen you started your own music wedding business? What was that about?

Molly: My best friend and I played together and our wedding company was called Young Belles. I was really just always curious and very entrepreneurial as a child. Plus, I wanted to make money.

Me: Were you performing at weddings?

Molly: Yes. We went to wedding fairs, made a demo and logo, business cards, and booked weddings. 

Me: What type of music were you performing?

Molly: At weddings, we did both ceremony type music... classical and instrumental, as well as reception Beatles, covers, upbeat tunes.

Me: Who did you grow up listening to?

Molly: Spice Girls, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, John Denver, Fiona Apple.

Me: What did your parents say with you working at fourteen?

Molly: My mom just supported me. She was use to this by now.

Me: When I was fourteen, I was reading comics and playing with action figures. You must of been very smart, and business savvy, am I right?

Molly: Yes. I chose to not have very many friends because I felt they were a distraction from my career... LOL!

Me: Has that helped you with your music career now?

Molly: Sure. Everything is a learning lesson.

Me: You have an EP coming out later this year, and "Pin Me Up" is the first single... is this your first release ever?

Molly: It’s my first official release. I have released quite a few tunes for many years prior... as in recorded, showed to friends and family, and sometimes post on social media sites. But, it was never with this much teamwork, attention, and focus.

Me: What took you so long to release your own music, Molly?

Molly: I will only release something I feel proud of. Something I 100% believe in. I guess I am a perfectionist.

Me: Didn't you go to live in London for a while? I am originally from London so I have to ask, did you like it, and what did you do there?

Molly: I actually thought it was too cold and foggy for me to ever live there full-time but I absolutely loved the people, culture, the history. I just love sunshine way too much!

Me: And you went to the Gold Country Piano Institute... what and where is that?

Molly: It’s a piano intensive that kids come from all parts of the world to attend in Nevada City, CA. It is taught by some of the most renowned classical piano instructors.

Me: Oh. I thought it had something to do with country music. Are you a country music fan?

Molly: I appreciate good music from almost every genre.

Me: Molly, when you perform live, what is a typical show you do like?

Molly: I play my keyboard, sing, have a live band behind me, and love to entertain!

Me: Do you have a favorite gig you have played?

Molly: Maybe the Crest Theatre in Sacramento. It was sold out... a group of artists performing and over 2,000 people attended.

Me: I have to ask you about this photo I saw of your leg with a piano painted on it... that is paint and not a tattoo, right? I have it here...

Molly: Haha! That is a piano I painted on myself. I am also a face and body painter. I have had many strange jobs... but I guess that is the life of a musician and artist!

Me: What was the occasion?

Molly: I was doing a random photo-shoot that day. I wanted it to be themed with a piano.

Me: So, I know you play piano, but do you play any other instruments?

Molly: I sort of play ukulele... I don’t really consider that much of an accomplishment but I can handle a few tunes.

Me: When your EP comes out, what should we expect from it?

Molly: I think the songs will be diverse and surprising... nothing like I have ever done before. I’m putting my heart into it and I just can hope all my hard work will pay off in one way or another! I really just would love for people to like it!

Me: Will you come back on the Phile when it comes out?

Molly: Duh! Of course!

Me: Okay, on the Phile I ask random questions thanks to Tabletopics... ready? What one question would you ask a psychic about the future?

Molly: Will I have done something to change the world in a positive way?

Me: I think the answer would be yes, Molly. Hey, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back when your EP comes out, Go ahead and mention your website. Thanks again, and take care.

Molly: Thank YOU, Phile! Go to my website at and follow me on Facebook at

Me: Thanks, Molly. Good job.

Wow! I told you she was gorgeous. Anyway, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Laird Jim and of course Molly Roth. The Phile will be back next Thursday with Phile Alum Natania and then on Friday Phile Alum Justin Levinson. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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