Monday, July 30, 2012

Pheaturing Spence Newell From New Hands

So, if the 2012 Olympics are summer games does Australia think they are winter games?  Welcome to the Phile, everybody. How are you? So, I read that Romeny's campaign has raised $10 million in California over the last two days. One million was from a fundraiser while $9 million was from Romney checking a pocket in some old khakis.  It's rumored that Kim Kardashian's mother, Kris Jenner, wants to host her own talk show while Kim's step-dad, Bruce Jenner, just wants to blink. That's right, Kim Kardashian's mother may be getting her own talk show. Of course, most viewers would rather she have a "don't talk" show.  I also read that one of the presidential will have a town hall format where citizens will ask the candidates questions. The most common question: “Are you the only two choices?”  New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said he will think about running for president in 2016 if Obama wins in November. But until then he said he'll just think about pancakes.  Scotland announced that it will legalize gay marriage. I don't know what's bigger news, that Scotland did that or that a country where guys wear plaid skirts didn't already have gay marriage.  Germany has opened a new hotline that lets people call in and yell curse words at strangers on the other end. We have something similar in America. It's called Time Warner customer service.  So, are you still watching the Olympics, everybody? In watched about five hours of Olympics yesterday. I was really getting into that new sport they have this year... motorcycle bowling. It was really exciting. If you didn't see it, here is a screen shot.

Great Britain got really really into the Olympics, spending a lot. They have a special Olympic 50p coin just for the Olympics. Check it out.

Everything is pretty much sponsored. Even Olympic security is sponsored.

Yesterday I showed you what the Olympic mascots look like this year. I was so excited that they put them on an inspirational poster.

Well, all through July I showed you different versions of one of man's greatest inventions... the bikini. Well, a week or so ago I ran out of bikini's to go, but I have the best readers, and they started to send me pictures of some. Here is one that was sent in.

It's another painted on bikini... or bathing suit. I don't think some of my readers got it. Oh, well. Thanks for sending it in. And now for the newest pheature on the Phile...

Well, this might be the last Olympic games if the Mayans were right. They are very smart, those Mayans. To help you through the week with some good advice I thought I would invite back to the Phile our good friend...

Me: Hello, Marvin, do you have any good advice for us today?

Marvin: Nya b’a’n tu’n t-xi tcho’n tkan ecy’, ku’n b’e’x cy-elil xc’ota.

Me: Marvin, that is great, but once again you need to tell us in English, not Mayanese.

Marvin: It is not good to eat hen’s legs or you will become a slow worker.

Me: That's great, Marvin, thank you. I don't eat hen's legs and I am still a slow worker sometimes. Mayan the Modern Day Mayan, everybody.

This past weekend was very important politically wise. I don't know what it is as I was so wrapped in with Olympic Fever. So I thought I would invite a friend of the Phile back to talk about what was so special about the weekend. Please welcome back to the Phile, the Executive Director of the Democratic  National Committee... Patrick Gaspard.

Me: Hello, Patrick, so, what was special about this past weekend?

Patrick: Hello, Jason. It marked 100 days until Election Day.

Me: Oh, yeah. November 6th, the day after my son turns 13. This is a big election this year.

Patrick: The impact of the outcome on November 6th will be felt for decades.

Me: For the readers that have not been paying attention, and I am sure there's one or two, tell them why this is so important. You gotta work hard, Patrick.

Patrick: If we don't work as hard as we can to re-elect President Obama, keep control of the Senate, and win back the House, we could lose Obamacare, see the clock turned back on a woman's right to make her own health decisions, and let Wall Street go back to writing their own rules.

Me: That's why Democrats and the Obama campaign are planning our biggest national weekend of action this year, right?

Patrick: Yes, because to win in November, we need to start registering voters, talking with folks in our communities, and laying the groundwork to win on Election Day.

Me: As I have been told, by you and other Democrats... including the President, the Republicans and Mitt Romney outraised you guys by $35 million last month alone.

Patrick: Which they'll use to blanket the country with attack ads in an attempt to persuade voters against coming out for Democrats on Election Day.

Me: What does that mean if they will outspend you on television?

Patrick: It means our field operations are even more important, the number of voters we register and the people we talk to could make or break the fate of Democrats across the board in November. When you join us, you'll be playing a critical part in our 2012 election efforts.

Me: About four or five years ago when I was part of the Union and a shop steward at Disney I volunteered with people from Acorn to stand outside Publix, which is a supermarket, and try to get people to register to vote. That's freakin' hard work.

Patrick: I can tell you, from my years of knocking doors and calling voters, there is nothing more rewarding than knowing that with every voter you talk to, you're making a difference. If you're an old hand at this, you know what I mean.

Me: Well, good luck, Patrick. Come back soon and keep us informed, my friend.

Patrick: Thanks, Jason.

The 21st artist to be pheatured in the P.P.A.G. is Mad Magazine artist Anton Emdin, and this is one of his pieces.
Anton will be a guest on the Phile next Sunday.

Today's guest is the lead singer for the Canadian band New Hands whose new single "Tulips" is now available on Bandcamp. Please welcome to the Phile... Spence Newell.

Me: Hello, Spence, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Spence: I'm doing exceptionally well, thank you.

Me: You guys are from Canada, right? What part?

Spence: We're from Hamilton, a city in southern Ontario not far from Toronto.

Me: I interviewed a shit load of musicians from Canada. Have you heard of Dark Mean?

Spence: I've heard of Dark Mean, our producer actually worked with them on their debut album. We see them around town every so often, they're pretty nice guys.

Me: I always ask musicians I interview if they are fans one of my favorite bands, the Barenaked Ladies. Are you fans of them?

Spence: I don't know if any of us are huge fans of the Barenaked Ladies but I like a few of their tunes, like "Call And Answer" and "One Week". I'm really not too hot on "If I Had A Million Dollars" though.

Me: What bands are you into, Spence?

Spence: The big ones I'm into and have been into for awhile are The Strokes, LCD Soundsystem and The Beatles.

Me: Let's talk about your band, New Hands. Where did the name come from... wait, I wanna guess. You have five guys in the band, and there's five fingers on a hand, am I right?

Spence: That's clever! It would've been neat to call ourselves New Fingers or New Phalanges but neither of those rolls off the tongue as easily as New Hands.

Me: Where did the name come from anyway?

Spence: We came up with the name while we were in the studio recording a single we released last fall called "This I've Heard". It had a b-side called "Through The Woodwork" and one of the lyrics was "some new pair of hands that takes you". Our drummer, Gordy, heard the line while we were playing the track back and thought "New Hands" would be a cool band name, so we went with it.

Me: Who is in the band? And let me guess, there's someone related... a lot of bands from Canada has members who are related, I dunno why.

Spence: The band consists of myself the singer, Ben the guitarist/keyboardist/back up singer, Evan the bassist/occasional keyboardist, Gordy the drummer and Pat the guitarist/drum pad player. That's weird that Canadian bands have a lot of related members but yeah, Gordy and Evan are brothers.

Me: I knew it! Are you the founder of the band, Spence?

Spence: Pat, Ben and I used to play in a high school band together and then Evan joined along and Gordy soon after him. I'd say we all founded New Hands when we picked that name.

Me: Most bands from Canada I have interviewed here have a very acoustic sound, but your band seems more industrial. Is that a fair remark?

Spence: I'd say that's fair. We don't really feature anything acoustic on any of our tracks, minus a cello played by Anna Jarvis on "Tulips". We're an electronic band that also features electric guitars, bass and drums.

Me: I just listened to the single "Tulips". Is that a song from the new album?

Spence: Yes, it's going to be on our debut.

Me: My son Logan has a question for you, Spence.

Logan: The song sounds like it could be on "Adventure Time" or "The Regular Show"... do you know those shows? Has anybody ever told you that?

Spence: Those are both shows on Cartoon Network, right?

Logan: Yup.

Spence: I've never watched them before. No one has ever told us that but we love cartoons so that's an awesome comparison.

Me: Also, Spence, when you are talking about 'tulips' you're not talking about the flower, am I right? If you know what I mean?

Spence: I think I know what you mean? The title might actually be referencing the flower, I'm not too sure. Ben, who writes the music, named the song awhile back when we were first working on it. It's a pretty name. The lyrics, which I write, don't really have anything to do with flowers.

Me: So, when is the album gonna be out?

Spence: The album will be out in early 2013, we'll keep you posted when we know the exact date.

Me: When it does comes out will you please come back on the Phile, Spence? I hope this was fun.

Spence: This was very fun, I will come back for sure.

Me: Go ahead and plug your website and I wish you lots of luck. Take care, and I hope to talk to you soon.

Spence: Thanks! Take it easy. Some sites are:,,,,  You can also download "Tulips" for free at:

There you go, kids, another entry of the Phile done. Thanks to Patrick Gaspard and of course to Spence Newell from New Hands. The Phile will be back with an extra entry this week on Friday where the guest will be Alumni Wishnefsky as we kick off Alumni Month. Then on Sunday it's artist Anton Emdin and on Monday British singer Paul Cox. Then the following week on Sunday it's Alumni Shirli McAllen from Leftover Cuties and the Monday after it's singer Anna Estrada. So, spread the word, not the turd. don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Now to watch more Olympic stuff.


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