Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Pheaturing Dave Hause

Hello, kids, welcome to aWednesday entry of the Phile.  Let's start of with something sad, and something I am depressed about. Kelly Clarkson is dating Shelby, Reba McEntire's step-son. Shelby, what kinda stupid girlie name is that? What are they gonna be called? Kelby? Grrrr. I like Kelson a lot better. Damn stupid Shelby. I hate him. Okay, I am glad I got that off my chest. What else is going on? Yay, Orlando is in the national news again. This time for the shooting of Trayvon Martin. Way to go, O-town.  Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich made his final public appearance the other day, before beginning his 14-year prison term. No word on who his cell mate is yet. It's probably a good chance it's another former Illinois governor.  Drug users in San Francisco have formed a drug users union. If you're in the drug users union, and you pass the drug test, do they kick you out?  I will be talking about this in a minute, but the Denver Broncos have signed Peyton Manning as their new quarterback. That means Tim Tebow may be traded. There's no telling where he'll end up... you know, like one of his passes.  So, I was thinking, Mitt Romney is so rich, he taught his dog to roll over... an IRA.  The new iPad went on sale. The picture's so fantastic, you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the iPad you got for Christmas is.  This week the makers of Camel cigarettes said 10 percent of its workers would be eliminated by 2014. Especially if they keep smoking Camels.  According to a new book, President Obama blames Fox News for his political problems and losing voters. How could Fox News lose voters? If you're watching Fox News, you're probably not voting for him in the first place.  Pope Benedict will visit Mexico this weekend. Historians say he will be the first Pope ever to attend spring break. The State Department is warning spring breakers about the dangers of violence from Mexican drug gangs. So, to avoid the threat, stay out of L.A.  Next month the movie Titanic will be re-released in 3D. In this version, the captain doesn't see the iceberg coming because he's not wearing the special glasses.  Well, kids, it's Spring Break and I am so glad there's a Spring Break inspirational poster. 

Well, a lot of people seem to be running for President this year, and one of those people is Jason Russell who did that whole Kony 2012 video and was arrested for public mastubating. Anyway, Jason has released a new campaign poster. 

Speaking of campaign posters... on Sunday I interviewed a musician named lee Abramson who has Lou Gehrig's disease and who is running for President. He wanted me to show you his campaign poster. This is for real, people.

Okay, so, kids, it's Spring Break, and I wanna give you guys some advice. It's something I hardly ever do, but I thought it's the least I could do. So, sit back and pay attention. It's time for...

Okay, these are a few things you should not do on Spring Break. Trust me. 
Get Married
This should be obvious, but even if “Sandy,” “Krystal,” or “Taylor” (never trust girls with “Y’s” in their names, fellas) totally nailed that wet t-shirt contest, don’t get down on bended knee with a ring fashioned from discarded wristbands. I married a Jennie, but her name ends with an i an and e by the way.
Swim at the Beach
It’s called “spring” break and not “summer” break for a reason. It’s balls cold. Sure, I know you’re going to be shirtless 85.6% of the time, but your alcohol-fueled warmth will wear out fast in the Atlantic Ocean in March. 
Sign Anything
For MTV, the precursor to the Jersey Shore School of Embarrassing Television was its spring break programming. Young people alcohol - parental supervision x awkward erections = ratings gold. Good thing no network can plaster your mug on cable unless you sign a release form. Don’t do that. 
Trash Your Room
It’s just a dick move. It’s not going to help you get laid and the hotel staff will hate you. Who cares about the hotel staff, right? Well, if you want security to allow ladies back to your room, and access to the… party goods shady front desk workers can provide, then care you should. There, that should help you. Now, go have fun.

Okay, a lot has been hapepning with football news and other stuff so once again I thought I would invite someone on the Phile to explain what's going on. So please welcome once again my good friend Jeff Trelewicz in a pheature I call...

Me: Jeff, glad you're back on the Phile. So, we have a few things to talk about. First, now Payton Manning is going to the Broncos, what do you think will happen to Tebow?

Jeff: Always good to be back on the Phile. It has been a big couple of days of major athletes. As far as Peyton Manning, I am very surprised that he went to Denver. I figured for a guy that has spent his entire career playing in a dome, playing somewhere as cold as Denver would be 
a detractor. There is no Tebow will remain with the team. Owner John Elway was never happy with Tim Tebow as quarterback so the first chance he got to replace him, he took. I see Jacksonville being a legit contender for his services as well as Miami or Cleveland as well.

Me: My wife Jen said if he goes go Jacksonville we're getting season tickets. Anyway, I am skeptical. Screw Elway, lying sack of shit. If Peyton gets injured, Elway will look like an fool. Fool for the damaged Quarterback. 

Jeff: It disturbs me that Peyton Manning will wear another uniform. He should wear two his entire career! The Colts and the AFC Pro Bowl Jersey. That's why I'm glad Hines Ward retired today from the Steelers, instead of wearing another jersey.

Me: Alright, so last week everyone was talking about Dwight Howard, if he was leaving the Magic or staying. What was your take on it? Are you
a Magic fan?

Jeff: I am happy to see Dwight Howard sticking around with the Magic, at least for one more year. It gives them a chance to really try to build a team around him. I'm just a big fan of players staying in one city. 

Me: What else is going on, Jeff? You have Wrestlemania coming up. What are you looking forward to seeing? I don't know much about wrestling so after Wrestlemania do you wanna come back with a report?

Jeff: Wrestlemania is in just two weeks, and it is shaping up to be one of the biggest Wrestlemania's of all time! The Rock returns to the ring for just the 2nd time in eight years against John Cena! I will be more then glad to give you a report afterwards! 

Me: Alright, Jeff, come back on Sunday and give us your opnion on where Tebow goes. Thanks again, and have a good week.

Jeff: Hope all the Phile-ites are well!

Me: Phile-ites... I like that. Thanks, Jeff. 

Okay, the 14th artist to be pheatured in the P.P.A.G. is winter, and this is one of his pieces...

Winter will be a guest on the Phile next Monday.

Today's guest is an American singer-songwriter that has played in multiple Philadelphia, PA area punk and hardcore bands. He currently performs solo as well as sings and plays guitar in The Loved Ones. He has a new album out on iTunes called "Resolutions" and will be appearing next Meerhout, Belgium at the Groezrock Festival Grounds on April 28th. Please welcome to the Phile... Dave Hause.

Me: Hello, Dave, welcome to the Peverett Phile. So, how are you, sir? 

Dave: I'm doing well.

Me: Let's talk about The Loved Ones. When did that band form?

Dave: The band began jamming together in 2003 and played our first show in May of 2004.

Me: Listening to your music for the last few years I am gonna guess you grew up like me being a Social Distortion fan, right?

Dave: I listened to all kinds of music and still do. I do like Social Distortion, yes.

Me: Have you ever toured or met Mike Ness? I have and he's a cool as hell person who one day will be interviewed for the Phile.

Dave: I have met Mike Ness, yes. He's a nice fellow.

Me: So, you have a new album called "Resolutions". How is that album different then The Loved Ones stuff?

Dave: It's a bit more laid back, using more acoustic instrumentation, it was also played with a variety of different musicians.

Me: Who plays on it, Dave?

Dave: It has a variety of friends and family playing on it.

Me: Correct me if I am wrong, but the last TLO's album came out last year called "Build & Burn". It's a really good album. Are you getting a lot of feedback on it?

Dave: The record came out in February of 2008. We did get a lot of great feedback on it, it was nice to have people listening.

Me: Oh, four years ago. Guess I'm running behind. There's some political songs on "Build & Burn". Tell the readers of the Phile who the song "Dear Laura" is about.

Dave: Dear Laura is an open letter to Laura Bush, essentially trying to come to grips with how an adult woman, a wife, a mother, etc, could support the job her husband had been doing for the last 8 years.

Me: Any plans for a live album?

Dave: Not as of now.

Me: I have to ask you about your tattoos. How many do you have and what are they? Where do you get them done?

Dave: I have a bunch of tattoos, I don't really know how many. I've gotten them all over the world. Most of them I've gotten in San Francisco, from my friend Erik Reith.

Me: You have another EP out called "Distractions" which has three original and three covers. What are the covers and how did you and the band choose them?

Dave: "Johnny 99" by Bruce Springsteen, "Lovers Town Revisited" by Billy Bragg and "Coma Girl" by Joe Strummer. We just love those songs so much and wanted to record our own versions on them.

Me: Speaking of the band, go ahead and tell the readers who they are, Dave.

Dave: Dave Walsh plays guitar, Chris Gonzalez plays bass and Mike Sneeringer plays drums.

Me: I have a compilation tribute album of Johnny Cash covers and The Loved One's are on it. You guys did "Cocaine Blues" one of my favorite Cash songs. Did you guys choose that song to do or did someone that put together the album choose it for you?

Dave: We chose it, it's one of my favorites too. Great story.

Me: If you were gonna do a song for a Foghat tribute album what song would you choose?

Dave: "I Just Want to Make Love to You".

Me: What about A Social D tribute album?

Dave: "When The Angels Sing".

Me: Is it true, Dave, before you founded The Loved Ones you were a roadie? Who did you roadie for?

Dave: I was, I roadied for all kinds of bands. Mostly The Bouncing Souls, Sick of it All and The Explosion.

Me: Tell me about working for Fat Mike and his label. And tell the readers who Fat Mike is.

Dave: I don't work for anyone. Fat Mike runs Fat Wreck Chords, a record label that put out 2 albums and an EP for our band, so I suppose he sort of works for us.

Me: After your solo project any luck you'll be working on another The Loved Ones CD?

Dave: We are working on the next Loved Ones record right now.

Me: Dave, anything else you wanna tell the fans of the Phile? Anything you wanna plug?

Dave: Thanks for reading, take care of yourselves.

Me: I hope this was fun and when The Loved Ones CD comes out, can I do a follow-up? Keep rocking, Dave.

Dave: Sure. Thanks for the interview. See you around.

Thart about does it for another entry. I can't tell how that interview went... good or bad. Please let me know. I hope Dave comes back to the Phile soon. I will ask him how it went. Anyway, thanks to Dave and also Jeff Trelewicz. The Phile will be back on Sunday with Matt Burke, lead singer for the band Have Gun, Will Travel. Then on Monday it's artist Winter. Next Wednesday it's Zé, lead singer for the band JointMethod. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Check your facts, asshole! Kelly Clarkson is dating Reba's stepson, Brandon Blackstock, Blake Shelton's manager. Shelby Blackstock is Reba's son - not stepson - and he's not dating Kelly nor is Kelly dating him!