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10. New entries of the Phile twice a week.
9. The only fireworks you saw were from a Seal Team storming your compound.
8. You were riding high, then Rick Perry got into the race.
7. You are head of security for The Ed Sullivan Theater.
6. Your big comeback movie was about a guy who talks through a beaver hand puppet.
5. You ran into me at Disney's Hollywood Studios.
4. Not only is your 401k underwater but so is your house.
3. You got evicted and in your rush to move out, you forgot to pack your photo album of Condoleezza Rice.
2. Five weeks into Dr. Bachmann's "treatment" center and, if anything, you're gayer.
And the number one sign you've had a bad Summer is...
1. First your workplace was vandalized, then a fatwa was issued against your life.
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Robert: Great! I'm really excited to do this interview with you! How is everything? What you do for bands is so amazing and highly appreciated... thank you!
Me: Wow, thank so much, Robert. Okay, sir, who dresses you? You have a very unique look about you.
Me: Wow, thank so much, Robert. Okay, sir, who dresses you? You have a very unique look about you.
Robert: I don't wear dresses!
Me: So, Mego never made a Green Lantern? Why is that, do you know?
Me: So, Mego never made a Green Lantern? Why is that, do you know?
Robert: Yeah, the Mego company for one reason or another didn't make one. They didn't make Flash either.
Me: It's because of this, you started to get into music, is that right?
Robert: I was sent to Earth to bring the music of The Clarences to you fine humans.
Me: For those that don't know what Mego is, wanna explain?
Me: For those that don't know what Mego is, wanna explain?
Robert: Mego was an amazing toy company of the 70's that made awesome action figures.
Me: Did you see the Green Lantern movie?
Me: Did you see the Green Lantern movie?
Robert: Yeah, and they didn't do what other modern superhero movies do: try to update the original costume. They are superheroes, they are supposed to have their real comic book costumes! Not the black leather or whatever else they update them with for the movies. Yuck!
Me: Okay, let's talk about your music, sir. I looked for it on iTunes but had no luck. Are you planning on putting music up on there soon?
Me: Okay, let's talk about your music, sir. I looked for it on iTunes but had no luck. Are you planning on putting music up on there soon?
Robert: Actually, iTunes has posted their music on The Clarences website. I felt bad for them. They spend all their energy promoting and selling other people's music and not their own. iTunes 2nd album is amazing!
Me: When did you form The Clarences? And what's up with the name? There's not one person in The Clarences named Clarence, is there?
Me: When did you form The Clarences? And what's up with the name? There's not one person in The Clarences named Clarence, is there?
Robert: In the year 1212. The name comes from... hmmm... here's a hint: Eddie Murphy. Nope, no one named Clarence yet!
Me: Who is in the band with you?
Me: Who is in the band with you?
Robert: It depends on the weather... right now? Krystal, Winter & Sonya.
Me: How would you describe your music, Robert?
Me: How would you describe your music, Robert?
Robert: Glock-octave-pop-rock.
Me: And what is a typical Clarences show like?
Me: And what is a typical Clarences show like?
Robert: Costumes, high energy, interaction with the crowd and fun!
Me: You are based in California, is that right? Have you lived there all your life?
Me: You are based in California, is that right? Have you lived there all your life?
Robert: Pretty much. Wait, where do I live?
Me: Do you ever tour and play outside of California? You need to come to Florida!
Me: Do you ever tour and play outside of California? You need to come to Florida!
Robert: Not yet! Yes, we would love to and to meet you! You rule, by the way. (:
Me: I discovered you guys through my friend Jeff Cameron who I interviewed a number of times on the Phile. Are you aware of his work?
Me: I discovered you guys through my friend Jeff Cameron who I interviewed a number of times on the Phile. Are you aware of his work?
Robert: He did? What a sweet guy! We are touched. Thank you, Jeff! Yes, we am aware of his music.
Me: Okay, Robert, do you have anything you wanna plug?
Me: Okay, Robert, do you have anything you wanna plug?
Robert: Yeah, I have this light I want to plug in, however, I can't find anywhere to plug it into... oh, wait... theclarences.com everything is free!
Me: Please come back onto the Phile soon, okay? In the meantime, tell the readers where they can purchase or listen to your music.
Me: Please come back onto the Phile soon, okay? In the meantime, tell the readers where they can purchase or listen to your music.
Robert: Will dooo! You are amazing and we really appreciate this opportunity! Thank you! Go to theclarences.com everything is free!
Me: Continued success and hope to hear from you soon.
Robert: Right (or left) back at ya'! Jason & his Peverett Phile rules! Oh yeah, we have a song called, "Jason Kinderhook & The Leper Cons", maybe we should rename it to, "Jason Peverett & The Peverett Philes"... (;
Me: Continued success and hope to hear from you soon.
Robert: Right (or left) back at ya'! Jason & his Peverett Phile rules! Oh yeah, we have a song called, "Jason Kinderhook & The Leper Cons", maybe we should rename it to, "Jason Peverett & The Peverett Philes"... (;
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Man, if The Clarences would record that song, that would be friggin' cool. Robert, can you record it? Please. Anyway, thanks to Robert for a very odd interview. I have to have him back on the Phile. Okay, the Phile will b back tomorrow with musician Luther Russell and then next Sunday is the special 9/11 10th anniversary tribute entry with musician John Berenzy and some surprises. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
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