Pheaturing Graham Nash

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday. How're you? To celebrate LGBTQ Pride month, IKEA released ten love seat designs inspired by pride flags and personal stories from members of the LGBTQ community.... 

The idea for the pride project is beautiful and while the love seats won't be available for purchase, they're currently on display in some stores. Turns out IKEA is more than just a furniture fortress with meatballs where everyone can fight with their partner over which hard futon to get while crying over directions that seemed simple until step three? While most people were moved by the artistic and creative love seats, some couldn't help but notice that the bisexual design is a little...um, unique? A couch that says "nobody believes you" on one pillow with many reaching zombie hands has some horror-meets-gaslighting energy. Upon further investigation, though, the love seat was designed by Charlotte Carbone based off poet Brian Lanigan's story.    

Every parent is entitled to their opinions about the "best" ways to raise a child. But when you start trying to enforce those opinions on other parents, you can expect backlash. A mom on TikTok has gone viral with a controversial video about why she refuses to use a crib for her 5-month-old baby. Alice Bender of Arizona, who goes by @comingupfer on TikTok, explains her reasoning for why she believes putting children in a crib is comparable to locking them in a "little baby prison" and why she refuses to enforce a bedtime, and opts for a floor crib to allow her son Fern "bodily autonomy." Bender argues that the typical American nursery is set up for "the parent's benefit, not the child's." She also says she will "never enforce a bedtime" for her child. She compares cribs to "little baby jail cells." And compares putting a child in a crib to being "locked in a container," and "forced to sleep when you're not tired." She says if a partner did this to you, it would be "abuse" and you would "hopefully leave them." Bender showed the setup she uses for her son, which includes a "floor bed." This allows him to "get up and move around" when he wants to. Bender's controversial stance sparked a ton of backlash, with commenters criticizing her "clueless" parenting method, even calling it "unsafe." Meanwhile on TikTok I have over 90,000 followers. Ha. 

A San Diego couple received a kind note from a stranger after dealing with vandalism and harassment over their Black Lives Matter sign. The couple, who told Upworthy to call them Ellen and Patrick Miller instead of their given names in order to protect their identities, hung a Black Lives Matter flag outside their house after the murder of Ahmaud Arbery. They hoped the flag would signal their awareness and solidarity, while potentially challenging the close-minded and racist people in their own communities. While the flag itself didn't receive backlash in the beginning, they have been painfully aware of the opposition in their community. During a Black Lives Matter rally they organized in their suburb, members of alt-right extremist groups showed up to counter-protest. Given the local culture, they were both unsurprised and disappointed when they recently returned home to discover their flag had been sliced in two, with the remains scattered around the yard.  "Nobody prior to May of 2020 said a word about our BLM flag. After George Floyd and the protesting started, we had about 50% positive interactions with our neighbors, quietly offering solidarity as they passed by on their morning and evening walks. Then 25% of interactions were a lot of older busybodies 'pearl clutching' and hoping that 'nobody takes this the wrong way and commits vandalism' against us," Ellen told Upworthy. She went on to share that there were also a few incidents where men drove past and swore at her and her kid upon seeing the flag. When the original Black Lives Matter flag was vandalized, Ellen and Patrick decided to hang up another flag they had in store for Pride month. Not long after, they received a kind note from a neighbor about the Black Lives Matter flag incident. The note read, "I saw your ripped BLM flag on Tuesday morning. I realize it could've been 'just the wind' but there are a fair number of other flags I see flying high in this neighborhood without tattering so suddenly… So, just in case somebody vandalized it on purpose, I went ahead and made a $ donation to BLM on your behalf! I also wanted to order you a replacement BLM flag in case you still wanted to fly it, then in a fit of passion I ordered two, so that there's another back-up, or a gift for another good person with a flag pole. Also quick sidenote, I love your LGBTQ+ Ally flag too! As a "B," it gives me a sense of camaradery! Do with these new flags as you will. It was simply my wish to 'fix' the torn flags the same way I wish to 'fix' some of the unkind acts against our fellow human beings. I saw it as a chance to remind you, remind myself, remind vandals and kind people alike that you can't tear away someone's humanity, you can't tear away their pride, you can't tear up love and compassion and good hearts the way you can tear up the fabric. We'll continue to fly high!" The note both made Ellen and Patrick feel less alone in their neighborhood, but also confirmed that hanging their flags help other people feel less alone. "We no longer felt indignant, but happy that our flag symbol made another neighbor feel safe," Ellen said. 

Britney Spears' younger sister Jamie Lynn has finally spoken out about the pop star's conservatorship testimony last week. But fans aren't fully convinced that Jamie Lynn has her sister's back. During the testimony, Britney revealed that she was unaware until recently that she could select her own lawyer and petition to end her conservatorship, which has effectively given her father and other trustees control over her fortune and her life for the past 13 years. She also said she is currently not being allowed to take out her IUD and have children. She said she'd like her entire family to see consequences for the way the conservatorship has been handled. Jamie Lynn released a statement via Instagram Stories, saying she's "proud of" Britney and that she previously told her to seek new counsel. "I've made a very conscious choice in my life to only participate in her life as her sister," she said. "I'm not my family. I'm my own person. I'm speaking for myself. I'm so proud of her for using her voice." Despite the statement, it seems large swathes of Britney's fandom have turned against Jamie Lynn as well as the sisters' dad, Jamie. Fans couldn't forget that Britney specified that she holds her entire family accountable for her conservatorship. Not to mention the tiny detail that Jamie Lynn allegedly tried to gain control of Britney's finances herself. And that her entire family seems to have a hand in the "business" of Britney: And that Britney seemed to be in the dark about the legal ins and outs of her situation. Meanwhile, Britney's boyfriend Sam Asghari posted a video of himself and Britney working out. 

They say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. That's exactly how fans feel about the sudden renaming of a Star Wars icon. Disney and Lucasfilm have decided that it's time to stop calling Boba Fett's ship Slave I. There were three new LEGO Star Wars sets unveiled at the recent LEGO CON 2021 but one caught the attention of fans. The new LEGO set for Slave I has been given the new name Boba Fett's Starship (75312). 

But what's with the sudden change? LEGO Star Wars Lead Designer Michael Lee Stockwell explained that it was Disney's call. "We’re not calling it Slave I anymore," Stockwell said. "This is Boba Fett’s Starship." Design Director Jens Kronvold Frederiksen further added that "everybody is [dropping it]. It’s probably not something which has been announced publicly but it is just something that Disney doesn’t want to use anymore." Not surprisingly, Star Wars fans are not happy about Slave I losing the name that it had for decades. It's understandable why Disney and Lucasfilm are making changes. In the age of Black Lives Matter, the studio clearly wants to distance itself from terms like "slave." On the other hand, people argue that the ship's original name was part of Jango Fett and his son Boba's dark history and should not be tampered with.

Sometimes when I get bored I go on Twitter and look up certain words and one of those words is "Foghat." Here's a tweet I saw recently...

Do you ever see those panhandlers on the street? You never know what their signs are gonna say...

Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like these binoculars for example...  

If you're looking for a graphic design job, you may want to contact whoever employed the people responsible for this following design fail. They are most likely hiring.

They must have added the arrows after realizing how steamy it was originally. Traveling with other people can be torture. But what if those other people are footing the bill? That's where it gets complicated. A man recently emailed the Phile to ask if he was in the wrong for wanting to turn down a free trip with his in-laws due to their "Groundhog Day"-esque planning proclivities. 

"Last year the in-laws treated wife, toddler and I to a short stay here in the U.K. I’m super greatful first and foremost that they paid and are again paying for the accommodation. I have no say in the type of accommodation and as I’m not paying I take it as it is. But the type of accommodation isn’t the issue. It’s what we do or rather don’t do on said holiday that I’m mostly unhappy about. Last year we holidayed at a seaside resort with loads of attraction and things to do. Except we did the same thing in the exact same order for 4 days! It was like Groundhog Day, the only difference is the places we dined at changed. All places they’d been previously I might add. They holiday here every year with my brother-in-law & family for about the last 10 years. Last year brother-in-law joined us with his son. Between them they decided the itinerary since they knew what was about to do. This despite wife and I doing our own research for things we could do with our toddler. None of the activities in Groundhog Day were toddler suitable so come the second day when they said they were repeating the previous days activities, but in reverse order! I said no and I’d like to take my child to do xyz. This apparently was unacceptable as they’d already paid for their activities and were non refundable. So I went ahead with their plans, but didn’t participate in any of the activities as I didn’t want to. Nothing was said until the following morning after breakfast when I left wife at the table with in-laws while I attended to changing toddler for the day. Wife didn’t tell me this until later in the day and I’d decided not to take part in groundhog activities again. And made it clear I had no intention of doing so for the next day either. She asked me to just suck it up and humour my brother-in-law & father-in-law as they were making a real effort for us to enjoy their holiday!! I said I’d try, but it was clear it all I was putting it all on for her. We ended up having a heated discussion that night too as it was our turn to pay the evening meal bill, and just so happened to be the most expensive of all the meals, by almost double. Which meant it went on the credit card. Last week we discuss looking for a holiday again this year, but to a new destination, we share some of our preferred locations and leave them to look them over. Fast forward to this week and the in-laws call to say they’ve booked us all in for a holiday together again. To the same place as last year. I’ve expressed my frustration to my wife and said I’m considering not going. But if I don’t go she won’t go either, so I’ve got to go and spend a week this time faking it when really it’s taking everything in me at the moment to even seem happy about going." I emailed him back and asked what there basic activities were and he replied, "Basic U.K. seaside holiday activities like crazy golf, yes the same course every day not different ones. Then things like arcades, a few small fairground rides, open top bus etc." Your wife needs to take the lead on this, telling them not to pay for more than 1 day of that for your family. You can't really force them to do stuff of your choosing since they're paying, but at least you won't feel you've wasted their money when you refuse to repeat multiple days. Still gotta go, though! Traveling with others can be its own special hell. You and your in-laws are completely incompatible for traveling together. They make plans solely based upon what they want and get upset at any deviation. Contrary to what your wife claimed, they are NOT making a real effort to ensure that you enjoy their holiday. So there you go. It's possible to take a free vacation without being your in-laws' indentured servant for four days. If you have a problem you want my help on then email me at thepeveretphile@gmail.com. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things Said About IKEA's Bisexuality-Themed Couch That Says "Nobody Believes You"

5. I dare you to think of anything funnier you could put on a bi-themed couch than “nobody believes you.” 

4. Dressing up as the NOBODY BELIEVES YOU bisexual couch for Halloween. 

3. Buying two bisexual couches so I can have one that just says "nobody believes you" twice.

2. I go to IKEA. I sit on the bisexual couch. The couch whispers “nobody believes you” in my ear while its disembodied pink arm touches mine. This is the true bisexual experience. 

And the number one thing said about IKEA's bisexuality-themed couch that says "nobody believes you" is...

1. IKEA’s new gaslighting couch is EVERYTHING! 

The 153rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Seth will be on the Phile next week. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

There's a lot of children thee and it looks like they are playing soccer and doing some other activity...

Wish I was there. So, my son and I wee talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together, but now the show is on HBO it sue has changed...

 "Five hundred days in. Bert still doesn't realize his new girlfriend is me. I think he is going to propose. I can't decide whether to reveal myself at the wedding in front of his family, or on the honeymoon when he is balls deep inside of me."

Phact 1. Canned food can last indefinitely if sealed properly. On his wedding day in 1956, Beryl Lailey promised to keep a canned whole chicken until his 50th Anniversary, when he would eat it. He did and did not become ill.

Phact 2. When Martin Luther King. Jr. won the Nobel Peace Prize, Atlanta threw him a celebration party that almost had to be cancelled due to opposition. Coca-Cola’s CEO threatened to take the company out of Atlanta out of embarrassment that the city’s people won’t honor their Nobel Prize winner. 

Phact 3. When Simon and Garfunkel first began performing, their music was considered a joke. The words “Hello darkness, my old friend” were enough to cause an audience to break out in laughter. 

Phact 4. Illegal prime numbers exist. An illegal prime is a prime number that represents information which is forbidden to possess or distribute. For example, when interpreted in a particular way, a certain prime describes a computer program that bypasses the digital rights management scheme used on DVDs.

Phact 5. In "Let it Be" “Mother Mary” refers to Mary McCartney, Paul’s mother who died when he was 14. She would stop fights between Paul and his brother by telling them “Let it be, boys.” When it was written, the Beatles were constantly fighting with each other so Paul remembered his mother’s words. 

This is cool... today's guest is a British-American singer-songwriter and musician. He is known for his light tenor voice and for his songwriting contributions as a member of the English pop/rock group the Hollies and the folk-rock supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of Crosby, Stills & Nash in 1997 and as a member of the Hollies in 2010. Please welcome to the Phile... Graham Nash.

Me: Hello, Graham, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Graham: I'm going really well, Jason, thank you. 

Me: It's so cool to have you here. I had David Crosby on the Phile twice and Neil Young once. So, I have to ask you, what was it like playing Woodstock? 

Graham: Woodstock, man. I thought we were pretty good playing acoustically. The speaker system for us to hear ourselves left a lot to be desired as we would say at Woodstock. But I thought we did pretty good. At least we could hear each other and we were used to that. Don't forget that was the second time we ever played in front of people. 

Me: I didn't know that. What a place to do your second ever gig, right? 

Graham: Yeah. 

Me: So, when you think about Woodstock what pictures or sights come to mind? 

Graham: Several hundred thousand people watching David Crosby and myself do "Guinnevere" with two voices and one acoustic guitar and a half a million people. That was quite an interesting moment. I think we managed to get the sound across to almost everybody there. 

Me: A few years ago it was the 50th anniversary of Woodstock and there was a lot of hype and nostalgia behind it. Does the hype and nostalgia live up to actually being there? 

Graham: I haws to tell you that if everybody who ever came up to me in the last 50 years and told me they were at Woodstock and were actually there the planet would have tilted. 

Me: Hahahahaha. Your last album is a kinda best of album called "Over the Years..." I love the song "Our House," which was talked about in an episode of "This Is Us." When you hear that song what goes through your mind? 

Graham: Joni Mitchell, it always does. 

Me: On "This Is Us" Mandy Moore's character Rebecca and her son Kevin go to Joni's Mitchell's house and Rebecca tells the story about the song. What is the story about the song? I wanna see if they got it right. 

Graham: I had taken Joni to breakfast one morning in Los Angeles, it was the closing of the winter season. It was a pretty awful day, it was rainy, it was cold, it was foggy, it was miserable. After breakfast we were walking back to Joni's car and we passed an antique store. Of course we were curious to what was in there and Joni saw a small vase she wanted to buy. It was about ten inches high and had some hand painted flowers on the edge and it was very reasonable. Joni wanted to buy it and she did. We took it back to the house in Laurel Canyon and went through the front door and as I mentioned it was a pretty cold and rainy day. I said to Joni, "Why don't I light a flower and you put some flowers in that vase you just bought today?" Well then, if that doesn't sound like an opening verse to a song I don't know what is. 

Me: Ha! "This Is Us" got it right! 

Graham: Good. That's what happened and a hour and a half later the song was completed. 

Me: Do you still write like that or do you think, "Hey, it's Tuesday, I need to write a song, that's my job."? 

Graham: Um, I have to feel something before I start something and think of writing it. I have to feel something very strongly. When I find something that I'm reacting to I try to find something as much about the subject as possible before I start to write. 

Me: Why is that? 

Graham: Because words are very, very important. We saw that recently with the Trump administration how powerful words are. I mean one time Trump said something silly about the stock market and the next day it dropped 622 points. Words are very important. It took me an hour and a half to write "Our House," it took me less time to write the song "Just A Song Before I Go" but it took me years to write "Cathedral." 

Me: Why did it take so long to write that song? 

Graham: Because when I'm speaking about people's religion and the importance of religion in their lives I have to make sure that every word is correct. That's why it took me so long to finish it. 

Me: I have to ask about the song "Immigration Man." What's that story about? 

Graham: CSN&Y did a show in Vancouver in British Columbia in the early 70s. It was the last day of the tour and the next day we were going to fly home to our homes in California. The four of us poured ourselves into the limousine and we drove to the airport and we get to the immigration desk. They let Crosby in and they let Stephen in. Yep, they let Neil Long back into the country but not me. There was something wrong with my visas, something going on with the musicians unions, between the United Kingdom and America. This guy at the immigration desk out me through a couple of hours of madness, calling the British Embassy and all kinds of stuff. 

Me: Weren't you guys pretty famous at this point? 

Graham: Yeah, there were people asking me for my autograph. It didn't dawn on this guy. I often wondered who that person was all these years later. But one of the things that was happening is that a lot of people like my music and I'm very grateful for that, but that song was written about 50 years ago and it's still incredibly relevant even today. It's a compliment that my music has lasted this long but it's also a pain in the rear end when I have to keep singing it. Same with "Chicago," same with "Military Madness." I've seem to written several songs there that are still relevant today. Its incredibly amazing that we have not learned from history. 

Me: Does it ever make you cynical? 

Graham: Yes, but I still believe what the hippies stood for. I really do. I really do believe that love is better than hatred. I really do believe that peace is better than war. And I really do believe that we have to take care of our fellow human beings because this is all we have on this planet. So what the hippies stood for all those many years ago are still very relevant in my life. 

Me: Do you still believe or ever believed that a piece of art can change the word? 

Graham: I do. And I still believe it. The smallest action can create waves of change throughout the world.  

Me: But what about a song? 

Graham: Are you cynical, Jason? 

Me: I think sometimes. I'm a big Graham Parker fan, and he's cynical. What's your feeling that art or music can make any change? 

Graham: I think it can make a change. It creates and feeling and thought patterns and people will listen to it. Look what happened when Neil wrote "Ohio." We came up to the 50th anniversary of that tragedy on May 4th in 1970. And incredible day and a beautiful song that Neil wrote when he looked at the magazines that Crosby showed of the people that were killed at Kent State. Crosby told me that Neil walked off into the woods and came back an hour later with "Ohio." "Why don't we book the studio and book the engineers and come down and record it?" That's what we did. We recorded "Ohio" in about an hour, we realized that we wanted to put it out as a single, we needed a B-side so we did "Find the Cost of Freedom" in about twenty minutes and mixed them and they gave them to Ahmet Ertegun who was the CEO of Atlantic Records of course and our dear friend and had him put it out as a single. Now Ahmet is a businessman, of course we well as a music lover and he mentioned to us my song "Teach Your Children' had tie up in the charts. It had just been released and it was gong up into the Top 20 and if we put out another single like 'Ohio" it would kill "Teach Your Children." Were we sure we wanted to do that? We told him in no uncertain terms that's exactly what we wanted. Not only that but we wanted to put it out as soon as possible. I believe it came out a couple of weeks later and the original cover of the single as a copy of the United States Constitution with four bullet holes in it. 

Me: Wow. That's crazy. What do you think of Neil? 

Graham: He's a genius and an incredible musician. I'm very proud to have been his partner. 

Me: The last time Crosby was here he was plugging his documentary. Did you see it? 

Graham: I did. 

Me: What did you think? 

Graham: Quite frankly I thought it was a video obituary. 

Me: Really? 

Graham: Yes, he spoke many times about his failing health and his failing body. Even had his wife Jan crying saying she doesn't know of he'll come back from the tour. It just was very depressing to me. There wasn't any joy, there wasn't any joy in it of the music that we helped create. 

Me: He seems to be repentant for being an asshole, right? 

Graham: It's a little late. 

Me: Ha! Maybe so. What impact being apart from those guys for so long had on your creativity and your writing? 

Graham: It's all been very positive. I've always enjoyed being a member of a band. I'm certainly proud of the music that David Crosby, Stephen Stills, Neil Young and I made together. Right now it's over, none of us are speaking to David. That's the way it is. If we never sing another note together look what we did in the last 50 odd years. 

Me: You could have made "Déjà Vu" and disappeared on a beach for the rest of your life in my opinion. 

Graham: But that's not who we are. We have to really like each other. We have to love each other to be able to make great music. Thats not happening right now. 

Me: You and Neil still friends? 

Graham: Yes, indeed. I gave him back 28 pieces of his original writing and his notes that I collected because people didn't think they were important when we were recording all these magical songs. But I thought those pieces of writing were important and that's why I saved them. Neil called me a few summers ago and asked would I consider given them back to him and of course I did. 

Me: Did you have an idea back then that what you guys had and were making was special? 

Graham: Yeah, a lot of people said to me in the early days "didn't you feel weird about leaving the Hollies?" A band that had 15 or 16 top ten hits when I was with them, all that money and all that fame, weren't I crazy? What was that decision? But I had heard David and me and Stephen sing together, I had heard David and me and Stephen blend our three voices to one. I wanted that sound desperately, I was a musician. Of course I wanted that sound. But I realized that evening in Joni's living room when we first sang together and created that harmony that I would have to go back to England and leave my band the Hollies and leave my equipment and leave my money and leave my friends and come and follow that sound. That's what I did. 

Me: I love the song "Myself At Last," Graham. There's lyrics that say, "And the day that breaks before me, may never be surpassed, and the question haunting me, is my future just my past?" Any answers about that? 

Graham: Yes, I wondered if people would accept me a solo artist because CSN is not operating, where I would just fall into the bowels of history. But it didn't happen that way, that song "Myself At Last" was the very first attempt at the very first song that we ever tried. Normally when we book a studio the day before the lads being all the gear in and unpack the drums and the bass and the amps and all that kind of stuff. Then the band has to sit together to make sure I could see the drummer, to make sure I could see Shane Fontayne and make sure I'm comfortable and we have to play something to make sure it's all plugged in right. We played something and that was "Myself At Last." The first attempt at the first song became the master. 

Me: I think Neil likes to use the first take, right? 

Graham: Yeah, he's always seeking the first take. We've done it occasionally. "Lady of the Island" was one take. I love that. Of course I could sing songs, I could repeat them and could repeat them and I screwed up the chorus so let's do it again, but after we do the song ten times I'm not singing it anymore, I'm performing it. I like to get it when it's fresh. And it's now. 

Me: Graham, thanks for being on the Phile. Stay well. 

Graham: Thanks very much, Jason.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Graham for a great interview. I love his music. The Phile will be back next Thursday with Don McLean. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Have a safe Independence Day/Treason Day. 

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...