Pheaturing Bill Nighy

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. How are you? PETA is already on top of this one, as the trailer for Walt Disney’s new live-action movie, Cruella, dropped on Wednesday. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are concerned because Disney’s live-action version of 101 Dalmatians in 1996 led to an increase in people adopting Dalmatian puppies, but only to be ditched at shelters when the puppies got older. This is because the breed is known to be incredibly strong-willed and difficult to train. PETA’s senior vice president Lisa Lange said in a statement, “No character spotlights the cruelty of wearing fur or skinning dogs better than Cruella, but PETA’s praise will be on paws until Disney takes steps to stop a repeat of 1996, when animal shelters were flooded with Dalmatians reportedly bought and discarded by 101 Dalmatians fans who weren’t prepared for the puppies to grow up. The devil is in the details, and Cruella must remind viewers that animals are individuals... not accessories... and to adopt them.” Disney has yet to respond to PETA’s statement about the black and white pooches. Emma Stone plays the infamous Disney villain, Cruella de Vil, in the live-action remake, and for those of you who grew up with the animation, you know that she is no Cinderella. The movie is to be a prequel to 101 Dalmatians, telling the story of Cruella de Vil as a fashion designer in London, before she became the ultimate puppy stealing villain, and the character was originally played by Glenn Close in 101 Dalmatians. The movie will also feature famous actors and actresses, including Emma Thompson, Emily Beecham, Dev Patel, and more. I understand PETA’s concern for the sake of all the puppies out there who deserve to be loved consistently forever, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited for it. Some say that Cruella de Vil has become Disney’s Joker, and for that reason, is exactly why I’m particularly interested to see how this movie turns out. If you find yourself wanting a Dalmatian, make sure you’re in it for the long run. 

Maybe 2021 isn’t so bad after all. Looks like NASA is here to save the year after its Perseverance rover officially landed on Mars after its 292.5 million-mile journey from Earth. According to NASA, the Rover sent back its first images of the site immediately after it landed. The Rover has been on a nearly 300 million-mile journey since it left the solar system more than six months ago. Safe to say that humanity’s love with Mars is an enduring one, full of wonder about the possibility if there was life on the mysterious planet. The historic mission will be able to search for evidence that could give us those answers. According to CNN, “Perseverance is full of firsts. The search for signs of ancient life on Mars. The first helicopter flew on another planet. The first recordings of sound on the red planet.” NASA stated that the most sophisticated Rover today has a very packed agenda for the next few years. It is set to explore Jezero Crater, which is a side of an ancient lake that existed 3.9 billion years ago, and will search for microfossils in the rocks and soil. Follow-up missions will then return samples of the set that was collected by Perseverance to Earth by the 2030s. Along with the Perseverance is an experiment to fly a helicopter, which is called Ingenuity, another planet for the very first time. Once the Rover has landed on Mars, you can follow its journey using an interactive map. Any raw image that is sent back by the Rober this week and going forward will also be available to the public on NASA’s website. Nasa’s Perseverance Mars Rover is the 9th landing on Mars and the agency’s 5 Rover. In order to land, NASA stated that it has to go through the infamous Seven Minutes of Terror. The one-way time that it takes for a radio signal to travel from Earth to Mars is around 11 minutes, meaning the 7 minutes it takes for the spacecraft to land on Mars occurs without any intervention or help from the NASA team on Earth. This specific Rover is set to be the heaviest NASA has ever attempted to land, which weighs in at over a metric ton. The spacecraft hit the top of the Martian atmosphere moving at a fast 12,000 miles per hour and had a slow down to 1.7 miles per 7 minutes later when it landed softly on the surface. The spacecraft’s heat shield injured heating of 2,370 degrees Fahrenheit. This mission is the riskiest one yet as it is in an epic quest to bring back Martian rocks that will answer whether past life did exist on Mars. Ground controllers at the space agency’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) located in Pasadena California cheered after receiving confirmation from a live stream. That the six-wheeled Perseverance sky crane had indeed touchdown on the red planet. As soon as the Rover landed, flight control Swati Mohan announced, “Touchdown confirmed! Perseverance safely on the surface of Mars.” The Rover landing marks the third visit to Mars in just over a week. Two space crafts from China and the United Arab Emirates swung into orbit around Mars on successive days last week. All three missions were lifted off in July to take advantage of the close alignment of Mars and Earth. NASA set up the team with the European Space Agency in order to bring the rocks home, the Perseverance’s Mission alone is set to cost nearly $3 billion. According to David Parker, the European Space Agency’s Director of Human and Robotic Exploration, “It’s really the most extraordinary, mind-bogglingly complicated and will-be history-making exploration campaign.” 

Senator Ted Cruz has been taken down by the Internet after it was found that he was traveling to Cancun, Mexico, despite the power outages that have been taking place across the entire state of Texas, causing many to go into survival mode without proper preparations. Apparently, he was only planning to fly them down and then return to Texas the next afternoon, but many are doubtful of how actually true that statement is. On social media, especially Twitter, pictures of the Texas Republican senator at an airport and on an airplane Thursday morning have been circulating. Releasing a statement immediately by Thursday afternoon, Cruz said, “With school canceled for the rest of the week, our girls asked to take a trip with friends. Wanting to be a good dad, I flew down with them last night and am flying back this afternoon.” However, with the insane winter storm that hit America’s south and mid-sections, and Houston and Austin areas suffering the worst of it, many Texans didn’t really want to hear about the senator trying to be a “good dad” while his home state was in the condition it’s still currently in. Cruz also claimed that he and his staff are in “constant communication with state and local leaders” in trying to understand how to manage the state-regulated power grid to help those in desperate need. Keith Edwards, former senior digital advisor to Senator Jon Ossoff’s campaign, claimed his own confirmation of the rumor, tweeting...

According to CNN, the pictures are from a 4:45 p.m. United Airlines flight from Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston to Cabo. And while many are arguing when the pictures were from, millions of people are still having to suffer blackouts from the winter weather. Cruz also mentioned in his statement that this is an “infuriating week” since the “greatest state in the greatest country in the world has been without power.” He said, “We have food lines, gas lines, and people sleeping at the neighbors’ houses. Our homes are freezing and our lights are out. Like millions of Texans, our family lost heat and power too. We want our power back, our water on, and our homes warn. My team and I will continue using all our resources to keep Texans informed and safe.” Meanwhile, Beto O’Rourke, the politician representing the Texas Democratic Party who lost the 2018 campaign for U.S. Senate to Cruz, has been incredibly busy. According to his Twitter, he has been helping hundreds of thousands of people get connected to help through phone lines, using his platform to encourage others to do the same. Politics will continue to be dividing, especially after the presidential election between former President Donald Trump and new President Joe Biden. However, regardless of who’s in the White House, now couldn’t be a more important time to show as much love, grace, mercy, and kindness to all around. Many people still really need help, and while this blizzard strikes Texas and surrounding areas, we’re also still at the mercy of the pandemic. So, it really doesn’t matter if this was a Democrat, Republican, or whatever-party politician. No one wants to see your family vacation trending worldwide on the Internet while people are losing their lives. 

What in the world is going on in Ecuador? Can’t you see that the entire world is basically crumbling down and now you just want to make it worse? Let me just say that robbing someone in pure light in front of a freaking live camera is insane. Not only that, but it’s insanely reckless because someone out there will probably recognize you. However, after looking at this video, I’m not surprised about the situation, it kind of seems that this happens all the time. Don’t quote me on this. I do not know if this happens on a regular basis in Ecuador, but it just gives me this little vibe. Why do I think that? Well throughout this whole situation, there’s just a random civilian moving along out of the frame as if nothing is going on and there is not a man holding two people at gunpoint. Let me explain the whole situation to you before you give your two cents. Basically, a TV reporter and his cameraman were robbed while on live TV. Luckily for us, the incident was captured, showing the shocking moment that the armed robber pointed a handgun straight at them. Sports reporter Diego Ordinola decided to share the video of the bizarre live broadcast robbery as the DirecTV Sports TV crew was filming outside the Estadio Monumental football stadium located in Tarqui, Guayaquil. The Ecuadorian gunman is seen getting closer to the reporter, as he is heard saying “Telephone!” swiping away the microphone that the reporter was using. The suspect is shown wearing a shirt and a cap while wearing a face mask, because well, we’re in the middle of a pandemic. The man then raises his weapon to the camera operator before grabbing a phone from someone right to the shot. Probably hoping that someone can recognize this evil man, the DirecTV Sports cameraman decided to roll throughout the robbery, following him after a pause, filming him driving away on the back of a motorbike. Ordinola took to Twitter to comment about the situation, tweeting, “We can’t even work in peace.” He noted that the police had promised to find the criminals involved in the situation. As expected, the post went insanely viral and several people flooded them with good wishes. And of course, Twitter being Twitter, several decided to take pictures of the motorbike used for the escape, in order to get the license plates and try to identify the man responsible for the attack. It is still isn’t clear if there have been any arrests or any known suspects, but I have to say, if it’s on social media, then someone for sure will be arrested. If there is anyone I trust to solve a crime, it’s Twitter. 

As the winter storm caused extreme power outages all across America’s south and mid-section, more than four million people found themselves struggling to survive in extremely low temperatures without power, heat, and clean water. And on Tuesday, two Texans in the Houston area who were doing just that were found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning, after using their car to generate heat. According to the Houston Police Department, the Houston Fire Department had found the two when responding to a welfare check called at a condo in the 8300 block of La Roche. They found two adults and two children suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning in a running car with the garage door closed. They were able to get two other family members, an adult male, and a 7-year-old boy, in critical condition to the hospital, but the adult female and an 8-year-old girl were found dead. Their names have not been released. The department said in a statement, “Initial indications are that car was running in the attached garage to create heat as the power is out. Cars, grills, and generators should not be used in or near a building.” According to poweroutage.us, the Galveston and southwest Houston areas were hit the hardest by the blackouts. And at least 25 people have died from weather-related causes since the weekend, with cases of carbon monoxide poisoning increasing. And according to the Houston Chronicle, Harris County reported 300 plus cases of carbon monoxide poisoning, with many being children. According to the CDC, carbon monoxide is, “an odorless, colorless gas, which can cause sudden illness and death, is produced any time a fossil fuel is burned,” and warned that carbon monoxide poisoning symptoms are “flu-like.” So how do you avoid carbon monoxide poisoning while staying warm, if you’re powering through this debacle? Well, the CDC explained that firstly, if you start to experience these “flu-like” symptoms, leave your home and call 911 immediately. But until then, “Don’t use a generator, charcoal grill, camp stove, or other gasoline or charcoal-burning device inside your home, basement, or garage or near a window. Don’t run a car or truck inside a garage attached to your house, even if you leave the door open. Don’t burn anything in a stove or fireplace that isn’t vented. Don’t heat your house with a gas oven. Don’t use a generator, pressure washer, or any gasoline-powered engine less than 20 feet from any window, door, or vent. Use an extension cord that is more than 20 feet long to keep the generator at a safe distance.” They should really teach more about these things in school. And even if they did, and I can’t remember because it was so long ago, maybe there should be a mandatory school curriculum that focuses primarily on survival situations. Texas was most definitely not prepared for these power outages. With the pandemic and now this, catastrophic events are incredibly more likely now than we could have ever predicted. It wouldn’t hurt to know what to do in certain situations, even if they never happen in your lifetime. You could also help someone else.  

Did you see the Cara Dune LEGO mini fig directions? No? Check this out...

I was in the book shop recently and I noticed some children's books are not the same as they used to be...

Yeesh. Do you know what makes me smile? When families reenact pictures from their childhood. Like this one...

Awe. So, if I had a TARDIS I would go to ty and meet Hillary Clinton but knowing my luck she'd just be playing on a Game Boy. 

They told me I would see some weird sites in Walmart, and I didn't believe it until I saw this...

Here's another stupid thing that happened in 2021...

Geology class. It’s that time of the year, when romance is in the air and people struggle to justify why they’re single. Not everyone has to deal with that, but it doesn’t mean things are any easier when you’re deciding on a gift for your significant other. A Phile reader encountered this exact issue when he chose his gifts for his girlfriend. Now he's trying to find out if he was wrong to get her the gift. 

"Am I wrong for getting my girlfriend a bidet? Hey everyone, I’ll try to keep this short. My mom got me a bidet for Christmas and it changed my life. I love it. I honestly can not say enough wonderful things about having a bidet. So for Valentine’s Day I got my girl the typical flowers and chocolate, a necklace, and... a bidet. I honestly thought it was a good idea, I legitimately thought she’d love it, my mom also got my sister one and she loves hers. I got my girlfriend a really good one, set it up for her and everything. She was fucking PISSED when she saw I got it for her. She said that I was insinuating that she was dirty, and that I was passively aggressively telling her she needed to clean herself better. My girlfriend is a meticulously clean person. I’ve never had any complaints about how she grooms herself, she always smells great and is waxed and clean everywhere, I honestly just wanted to share the joy my bidet brought me with her. Was this a bad judgment call? Am I wrong here?” Now you are free to judge him. Who would think of a plumbing gift for Valentine’s Day? The lightest you were wrong, but only because you didn’t stop and think about it for a second. You got her an ass cleaner for the what is considered the most romantic day of the year. You assumed that you liking something meant your girlfriend would automatically like it as much. This gift is way too specific to get for someone without discussing beforehand, never mind going ahead and installing it in their home before they’d okay’d it. She kinda sucks for jumping to getting all offended (rather than just calling you out for an inappropriate gift), but, I mean, who knows how any of us would react if someone secretly installed a bidet in our home. I mean, you were trying to do a nice thing and give your girlfriend a practical gift you thought could benefit her, but you have to see how it would look to her to just give her that unprompted. Just apologize profusely, explain to her that it’s nothing to do with being clean, you just really love yours and it changed your life and wanted to share that with her but she doesn’t have to use it if she doesn’t want it. Using a bidet may even become an inside joke. But if you’re unsure about the gift for your spouse for Valentine’s Day, maybe fall back on the basics, and consider the plumbing gift for a less special occasion. Please, sir, email me back and let me know if she used it and likes it. On Monday's entry I will share what she thinks. If you have a problem email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. 

Hahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things People Are Giving Up Or Not Giving Up For Lent In 2021

5. Just heard the devastating news that Rick Astley's given me up for Lent. He said he never would.

4. I gave up Lent last year for Lent and now I don't know what to do today. 

3. Lent in a lockdown? No thank you. My vices are the only thing keeping me sane right now. 

2. I'm not giving up anything for Lent. I've had to give up working, socializing, eating out, earning, and all my hobbies. If that doesn't satisfy Jesus then I'd say he's being picky. 

And the number one thing people are giving up for Lent in 2021 is...

1. Forgive me, I'm a Jew. Is Lent the one where a rabbit lays eggs in your front yard or the one where the guy with the white beard breaks into your houses? 

Rush Limbaugh 

January 12th, 1951 — February 17th, 2021 

Michael J. Fox is probably laughing his ASS off right now.

Hey, you know what they say, you have to shoot your shot whenever you can. Which is exactly what this man did, and boy, was it hilarious. A defendant fighting a burglary charge decided to do his best to woo a female judge during a bond court appearance. LOL. My man, I admire you. Defendant Demetrius Lewis appeared before Broward County Judge Tabitha Blackmon in Fort Lauderdale, Florida through a Zoom hearing. So, seconds into stepping in front of a camera for his virtual meeting he decided to lay on some devious moves. Lewis is heard saying. “Judge, you [are] so gorgeous, so gorgeous, I just had to tell you. You’re gorgeous.” The judge, taken aback and probably thinking “what the heck, you’re going to jail,” thanked Mr. Lewis for his comments before responding, “Flattery will get you everywhere, but maybe not here.” As she should, because well, she’s a professional. As far as his crime, well he is facing a charge of attempted burglary of an occupied dwelling. He is currently being held on a $5,000 bond. Prosecutors stated that Lewis had tried to break into a home while three children and their mother were inside at that time. They stated that the mother watched what was going on from a doorbell camera and a neighbor intervened. Police also added that the Florida man had been released from prison back in 2019 after serving a nearly 4-year sentence for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. So, was this burglary suspect just trying to get a lower sentence, or did he actually really like the judge and wanted to compliment her? Who knows, I’ll leave that for you to decide. But this is pretty funny, I bet that judge went straight home and told her husband about it. I would have laughed during the virtual court hearing if this had happened to me though. She kept a straight face and was very straightforward with him, a queen! I really do have to give her props for this one. 

Okay, the 146th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Pete Townshend will be on the Phile in a few weeks. Very cool, right? Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jeff, shall we?

Oh, boy, it's snowing there again right now. Brrrrr.

Today's guest is an English actor known for his work in film, theatre and television. He became widely known for his performance as Billy Mack in Love Actually. Other notable roles in cinema include his portrayal of Davy Jones in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series, and Viktor in the Underworld film series. He is also known for his roles in the films Shaun of the Dead, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hot Fuzz, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 and Sometimes Always Never. Please welcome to the Phile... Bill Nighy.

Me: Hello, sir, welcome to the Phile. I have to say you were one of my dad's favorite actors, and one of mine as well. How are you? 

Bill: My pleasure, Jason. 

Me: So, how do you pronounce your last name? I think I've been pronouncing it wrong for ever. 

Bill: Like Nye, like Bill Nye the Science Guy. 

Me: Ewe. I don't like that guy. Do you get that a lot? People not knowing how to pronounce your name?

Bill: I do a bit. My daughters school friends were disappointed I turned out to be the wrong Bill Nye. 

Me: Well, you're a better one anyway. Did you ever meet the asshole Bill Nye? 

Bill: I did meet the "real" Bill Nye in a restaurant in New York on one occasion, we had our photograph taken. The two Nye's did meet at one point. Why did you say he was an "asshole"? 

Me: Well, it's a long story but simply put I was working a press event at Disney World, it was the 25th anniversary press event, and a women and child who was about 7 wanted his autograph. Nye was there doing radio interviews, going from one radio station table to another. In between he was standing there in his full Bill Nye outfit of bow toe and lab coat with the Guest Relations Cast Member. I went up to them and said, "Mr. Nye, this young man is a big fan of yours and wants to be a scientist because of you. Would you be able to sign his autograph book?" The child held up his autograph book like Oliver Twist asking for more food in his bowl. Bye looked down at the child and said, "I'm not signing autographs." I said, "Just one quick signature, sir, real quick." Nye again said, "I said I'm not signing autographs." And he tried to get away. I said, "You don't have to write 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.' Just write 'Bill Nye,' that's 6 letters. "I will not sign an autograph." And he and the Guest Relations person walked off. The kid looked kinda sad but not as sad and deflated as his mom. I said to the child, "It's okay, he's not a real a dentist anyway. No scientist goes around calling themselves 'the science guy.'" There's that's my Bill Nye story, sir. I'm glad he took a pic with you though. 

Bill: I guess the little boy was de-nyed. 

Me: Haha! That's great! I have to remember that when I tell the story again. There was another situation which I won't get into now. So, you were the main star in a movie called Sometimes Always Never. You do you play in the movie, Bill? 

Bill: I played a dad named Alan whose been estranged from his son for years. A game of Scrabble was involved. 

Me: Bill, where are you from in England? 

Bill: Caterham, Surrey. 

Me: Caterham! That's where my cousins live! Anyway, so, in the movie you talk about Marmite, which I love on toast. Anyway, you said in the movie that Canada has banned Marmite. Is the true? 

Bill: The writer of Sometimes Almost Never, Frank Cottrell-Boyce had habit for when he ran out of things for me to say in the movie he would Google me on red carpets and take stuff that I said in real life. I was in Canada and I had discovered Canada had in fact banned Marmite because it had a secret ingredient. Apparently someone asked Marmite what the secret ingredient was and they said, "We can't tell you, it's secret." So they couldn't important it anymore. I seemed to be the only person who knew that story, but anyway it ended up in the movie. 

Me: Glad I don't live in Canada then. So, do you like Marmite? 

Bill: Yeah, I was raised with it. Marmite's become an adjective now. People say Bob Dylan's singing is a Marmite thing. Meaning half the world loves it and half the world can't bare it. It's become a word that describes that phenomenon. Does America have Marmite? 

Me: Yeah, it's called Cheez Whiz. Hahahaha. Is it true you got caught smuggling Marmite? 

Bill: Yeah, I've been busted at Heathrow a couple of times. 

Me: So, what happened? 

Bill: The first time I was trying to impress somebody and took a too large jar of Marmite. I was trying to get it into India actually. The guy said when he took it out, "You can't have that." And I said, "Well, come on, man, it's Marmite." He said I just cannot have it and I said, "Well, can I take some out of it and put it into something smaller?" And he said, "There's no decanting Marmite on this side of security." And I said, "Can I see that in writing?" They were all laughing but they still took my Marmite. The groovy thing was the young man who was seeing me through the airport was so distressed he went off and he found me 32 of the tiny little Marmites they put in all the cafes. That saw me through the gig. 

Me: It was a happy ending anyway. So, how is Scrabble involved in the movie? 

Bill: Alan is a Scrabble loving dad. His son has been missing for years after bit of a family bust up during a Scrabble game. Alan thinks his son is still alive, and he's desperate to find him. 

Me: I love Scrabble and miss playing it with my parents and grandparents. Are you a Scrabble fan? 

Bill: No, I knew nothing. Well, I used to play occasionally win Boxing Day but I was no great Scrabble shakes until I did the movie and now obviously I know a great deal about it. It's a whole new world from the Scrabble that I remember when I was a child. 

Me: When you're playing a role like this what do you need to prep the character? 

Bill: Good scripts are rare and they're hard to find and Frank Cottrell-Boyce is a major writer and when they came through the door I knew I was in good shape. The quality of the dialogue and the quality of the script was very high. 

Me: It's a funny movie with a sad quality, am I right? 

Bill: Yeah, it has a sad quality and it is amusing but it was something unexpected. I was pleased to be in it.  

Me: What was it like for you when you first became an actor? 

Bill: Well, I used to hitchhike everywhere. When the days was young and I was young I could hitchhike everywhere and everybody did. It would save me the rail fare when I wasn't making much money so I just put my thumb out on the M1 or any of the freeways. People would say, "Where are you going?" And I would say, "I'm going to Liverpool." Or I'm going to Newcastle or wherever I was going where my next job was and they'd say "what do you do?" And I could never bring myself to say the words "I'm an actor." 

Me: What? Why not? 

Bill: Because I didn't feel like an actor. I didn't know anybody who was an actor. There weren't any actors around our way. Times were different then. There weren't so many people attempting to be actors and I didn't feel to have that conversation so I lied. I'd say I was a stage painter or I was a stage electrician, or anything other than acting because I didn't feel like I could front that conversation. 

Me: When did that stop and you started feeling like a real actor? 

Bill: It took a really long time for me to feel like a real actor. I don't remember, everything was quite a long time ago now. It was probably into my 30s, given then I was acting for a decade it was a long time before I felt that I could confidently identify as an actor. 

Me: I first knew about you from the 1998 movie Still Crazy where you played rocker Ray Simms, but most people know you from the 2003 film Love Actually where you played aging rocker Billy Mack. I have to show the post for Still Crazy, as people should see that movie.

Me: What goes through your mind when you think about those movies now? 

Bill: I build my life not seeing or not seeing any of my work. I'm quite happy with the relationship other people seem to have with them. But my relationship had always been unsteady. Kids used to run after me in the street shouting the line "don't buy drugs, become a rock star and they give you them for free." I once came through from Canada to the United States through immigration about 4:30 morning once, in the big immigration hall. I was the only person there and the scariest guy called me towards his immigration booth and as I was walking towards him he said, "Hey, kids, don't buy drugs. Become a rock star and we'll give you them for free, am I right or am I right?" And when he said "drugs" I was like no, no, I don't have any... 

Me: All you have his Marmite. Is that what you said? Hahaha.

Bill: Yeah, exactly, Don't take my Marmite. I also smuggle Yorkshire tea just for the record so as I'm becoming clear here. 

Me: I never saw Love Actually but I'm pretty sure that changed everything for you over night, am I right? 

Bill: Yeah, it did. I knew if I did a half decent job on it because it was a Richard Curtis movie, it was big deal, how previous movies had been fabulously successful, I knew it would change the air and it did, it changed the way I go to work. It meant I never had to audition anymore. Ask any actor what that means, that's like all my Christmases in one. It changed everything about my career. It was a beautiful thing. 

Me: Do you think you appreciated it differently because it happened later in your career? 

Bill: Well, I can only speculate but yes, you're probably right. I think it was a good time for it to happen to me. If you told me it was going to happen when I was scuffling or struggling when I was in my twenties when I didn't ave any money I would've arranged to be more cheerful during that period. I thought it was a good time for that to happen to me. I think it would've been okay if I was younger but it was timely I feel. 

Me: You have done some big budget films like Pirates of the Caribbean but is it still a draw to do a small low-budget independent film like Sometimes Always Never? 

Bill: Well, the smaller side of it simply has to deal with the trailer, the car, the canteen and the time. The great luxury is if they have a lot of money they have lots of time. Apart from that the gig is pretty much the same. I'm drawn to anything that's any good. And as I said, they're quite rare good scripts. I don't mind whose making it, where they're making it, as long and the quality is high and they have something to offer.  

Me: What's your definition of good? 

Bill: Well, mine has to do with the writing specifically to do with the language really, because that's my relationship with it. I'm going to gave to speak this stuff. Very few people could write like people talk. They wrote like people talk in movies, which is a different thing. Which can work, it's a convention where we're perfectly happy with. We watch a lot of movies where people say shit they only say in films. 

Me: Aaron Sorkin films are like that way, right? 

Bill: I don't know. But there's a level of quality and I got a nose for it. It's a serious film where it's written by grown-ups for grown-ups and it's not going to be a nuisance in the world and manipulative. It's not cynical and broadly speaking help.

Me: Does it matter what genre it is? 

Bill: It does not matter what genre it is. I don't mind if it's a family film or a kids film, as long as the quality is high. 

Me: Why don't you watch any of your films? 

Bill: Well, it's pretty simple. I watched myself once rob a bank on "Softly, Softly" for the people who are old enough in England will remember it. It was a crime show, and the first time I was ever on TV. No one told me not to watch it and I walked around Liverpool all night long feeling that I've been humiliated on national television and I better find an alternative career. It was a really deeply uncomfortable experience. So I just made a point of never, ever doing that again. It's not the way I look although I'm not crazy about it. It's not the way I sound although I'm not crazy about that either but it's the acting I can't take. It's too much information for me. It's not for me, it's for other people. I know all the compromises, I know all the little bit of cowardice. I know the default thing I do when I cannot pull something off and I think "did I do that again?" I know too much and I have a really beautiful relationship with my work which is other people watch it and it seems to go down okay. And they ask me back, that's all I need to know. It's unnatural to sit there and watch it although some people are happy to do it, I respect that and I admire that but I'm not one of them. 

Me: Is being on set and doing the work the thing that brings you joy? 

Bill: I don't know about joy either. People assume. There's three things that people say about everybody's job. There's probably three things they say about your job, three things they say about biochemists, three things they say about veterinarian surgeons. The three things they say about actors are, the first thing they say usually when we're out of work is "well, at least that you're doing something that you love." The idea that there is this myth that actors must love it, I don't know where it came from. It's certainly not really anybody's experience, but it's really just become the thing that people understand, or at least imagine what they understand about the job. 

Me: What are the other two? 

Bill: That we are gregarious in some way and we like being on stage. We are exhibitionists. I don't know any actor that are any good that are an exhibitionists. Most of them hide in dark corners until they're called upon. We're all outgoing and sexually incontinent. We are all sexually incontinent but apart from that none of that is true. 

Me: Why did you want to be an actor? 

Bill: In my case I have a respectful reason and that's I didn't want to be anything else. I flunked school, I had no qualifications, I had no connection, I had no money, I didn't have any ideas much apart from I wanted to write the great English novel which I apparently couldn't sit still enough to do or even try and somebody suggested I go to drama school and they wrote he letter and I got in and it was better than working in a shop or in a supermarket. I figured I'd be a student, no one in my family had ever been a student so that was kind of glamorous straight off the bat. Mind you I spent the 80 points they used to give me per term I spent that in the bar in the first two weeks. It wasn't particularly glamorous but it was an alternative. I didn't want to go to the same place every day for the next 25 years and I didn't want to know what I was going to be making in the next 25 years. It is like agreeing to be a professional gambler, and I persisted because my pride prevented me from ever saying "I gave that up and do something else now." I never wanted to have that conversation with somebody where they say, "You're still acting?" And me saying, "Well, no, I don't do that now. I do that other thing." Because I was just too proud to do that. And indeed I did get jobs because those days it was easier, I could paint the set, I could drive the van, I could work behind the bar, and they'd give me a couple of lines. This kind of gigs aren't available anymore because the success of the government in England have starved potential theaters and the opportunities no longer arrive. 

Me: Bill, it was great to have you on the Phile. You're a great actor and I hope you'll come back on the Phile again one day before its over.

Bill: Thank you.

That about does it fo this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Bill Nighy for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with Thurston Moore. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss you brain.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...