Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Pheaturing Stephanie Beatriz From "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"


Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Wednesday. I have spoilers but I'd love to know about the ending of 2020. I feel like I've aged three years since March. A white woman and a white man who allegedly painted over California community’s Black Lives Matter mural are now facing a hate crime charge, according to the Contra Costa County District Attorney’s Office. Nicole Anderson and David Nelson are each charged with three misdemeanor counts, including violation of civil rights, possession of tools to commit vandalism or graffiti, and vandalism. The incident occurred soon after the mural was painted in front of the courthouse in Martinez, California. District Attorney Diana Becton released a statement, noting, “We must address the root and byproduct of systemic racism in our country. The Black Lives Matter movement is an important civil rights cause that deserves all of our attention.” She also stated the mural was a peaceful and powerful way to communicate the importance of Black lives in the country. The murals help continue discussions by listening to one another in an effort to heal our country and the community. The city quickly repainted the mural after the incident. Both Nelson Anderson will be sent notice to appear in court, but the date has not yet been released. If convicted of the misdemeanor charges, each could face up to a year in county jail.
Things got a little heated on the South Side of Chicago, Illinois, but “a little” might be an understatement. A viral video shows an altercation between a former CTA bus driver (Chicago Transit Authority) and the man he picked up wrestling style and slammed into the concrete, resulting in the CTA driver being charged with aggravated battery. According to CBS Chicago, 46-year-old Milan Williams was one of two CTA employees who were fired from their jobs last month after getting into a fight with 43-year-old passenger, Lawrence Madden Jr. Madden told Chicago police that he took a CTA bus going south on Western Avenue at 2:00 a.m. on June 11th, when the CTA bus driver stopped to supposedly talk to another bus driver. Madden then explained that he mentioned how the CTA worker was being unprofessional, triggering the man to get off the bus through the front door and head to the rear door. Madden then got off the bus himself, to which the driver then proceeds to beat him up, punching and kicking several times and tripping him. Next thing he knew, as the video shows, the second CTA bus driver, Milan Williams, took his entire body by surprise by lifting Madden from behind and slamming him into the pavement. Madden told CBS Chicago that he was just trying to defend himself when the surprise body slam happened, explaining, “I’m going through pain right now. I can’t sleep. I’ve got headaches, depression, paranoia, thinking that somebody’s coming after me.” As a result, CTA officials explained that both CTA employees were fired last week after an internal investigation. Both former CTA employees failed to report the incident, and a CTA spokesperson told CBS Chicago in an email, “CTA’s number one priority is the safety and security of its riders and employees. The behavior of these former employees was unacceptable and is not at all reflective of the thousands of men and women who take pride and responsibility in their CTA duties.” Madden’s attorney, Arielle Williams, said, “There are many things that you have not seen, and we’re going to get that out,” explaining that a lawsuit is in the works and a subpoena for video from the CTA has been given. She’s confident that the video will prove “Madden did nothing to provoke the attack.” According to court records, Milan Williams was charged with a count of aggravated battery in a public place, and was released on a recognizance bond. He’s to appear back in court later this year in September.
Jimmy John’s employees at a store in Woodstock, Georgia have been fired for inexplicably filming themselves even more inexplicably playfully hanging an employee with a noose they made out of raw bread dough. Or, maybe the filming and sharing of the bread noose execution was the more inexplicable part? It’s all so insane and painfully stupid that it’s hard to tell. But it also doesn’t really matter. The Jimmy John’s employees, who apparently had no previous contact with the Internet prior to filming themselves having some racist lawlz with a bread noose, posted their antics to Snapchat on July 4th adorned with the social media platform’s celebratory Fourth of July banner.  Jimmy John’s was quick to release a statement condemning the incident, “We have zero tolerance for racism or discrimination in any form,” Jimmy John’s said in a tweet. “The franchisee has taken immediate action and the employees have been terminated. The actions seen in this video are completely unacceptable and do not represent the Jimmy John’s brand.” If you’re a parent of one of these kids what do you even do for punishment? I’m sure a number of psychologists would weigh in saying that they’d be best served by being educated on what they did wrong in some way or another but even still, in between their sensitivity training sessions I think I’d be inclined to be like, “You’re clearly as dumb as rock so I found you a new job with a landscaping company. Your job responsibilities are as follows: carrying big ass rocks from the truck to whatever pond or retaining wall you’re building. I’ll be donating half your pay to a charity and the other half to myself, so I can drink until I forget you ever did anything this stupid.” It’s typically the olds that aren’t tech-savvy in a technical way, but social tech incompetence truly knows no age.
In more recent news surrounding the recently severe increase in COVID-19 cases, this is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard. With the coronavirus pandemic killing more than 127,000 people in the United States alone, along with so many more globally, this is one of the most insensitive incidents I’ve ever come to known. I almost wish I didn’t even know it. Tuscaloosa is the 7th largest city in Alabama, housing the University of Alabama and a few other big universities. Among the 38,422 confirmed COVID-19 cases, Tuscaloosa County accounts for 2,049 of them, resulting in 38 deaths. On the same day that Alabama Governor Kay Ivey extended the stay-at-home orders until July 31st, stating that “gyms, entertainment venues, child care facilities, and barbershops are required to follow sanitation and social distancing rules. Retail stores are allowed to open with a 50% occupancy rate,” the concept of “COVID parties” started to surface. Tuscaloosa City Councilor Sonya McKinstry told ABC News that students in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, have been having “COVID parties” as part of a horrifying game and contest to see who can catch the virus first. Upon learning of the events, she immediately informed city council members. “They put money in a pot and they try to get COVID. Whoever gets COVID first gets the pot. It makes no sense,” she explained. “They’re intentionally doing it.” Tuscaloosa Fire Chief Randy Smith also expressed to the City Council that he confirmed the rumors are true, “We thought that was kind of a rumor at first,” he explained while wearing a face mask himself, “We did some research. Not only do the doctors’ offices confirm it but the state confirmed they also had the same information.” City Council passed an ordinance to require face masks in public after the briefing. Although it’s not yet clear how many students have become infected because of these COVID parties, the City Council is working fast to come to a solution. Arrol Sheehan, a spokesperson for the Alabama Department of Public Health, stated a reminder that Alabama’s “Safer at Home Order” requires COVID-19 positive patients quarantine for at least 14 days. Sheehan suggested that violating the health order is technically a misdemeanor, with fines totaling up to $500. She told ABC News, “Suspected violations of the home quarantine order should be reported to law enforcement and the local health department.” Mckinstry added, “It’s nonsense, but I think when you’re dealing with the mind frame of people who are intentionally doing stuff like that and they’re spreading it intentionally, how can you truly fight something that people are constantly trying to promote?” I’m not sure how old you have to be to understand how truly horrible this is, but I personally don’t think it takes a wise, old genius to know why this is literally so stupid. How horrible to know that people have lost so many loved ones to this virus, but others are willing to make a fun game out of it to win some money because they’re probably bored.
“I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle." This sounds like a man who's ready to run the country, right? As if 2020 couldn't get any more bananas, Kanye West has indeed announced he is running for President of the United States. That's all I'm saying about that shit. Don't forget to vote!
If I had a TARDIS I would probably end up at the Vietnam Veterans Against the War march in 1970.


Okay, I have to be honest... I've been so busy back at work and writing my novel which I hope will be published soon that I forgo to plan for this entry of the Phile. That's the only pic I have for the monologue. Hahaha. So, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?


Looks like a nice evening there... and look, the Seawolf is gone. Oh, wait, I did have some pics for for the monologue... This is Kanye randomly deciding to tweet that he's running for President in the middle of a global pandemic...


This is the Whole House right after Kanye is elected as President...


2021 will be like...


Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...


Top Phive Things Said By People When They Heard Kanye Is Running For President
5. Kanye watched Hamilton and was like, "Bro, I can rap battle my way into the presidency."
4. Kanye declares he's running for President in 2020. Might as well go ahead and pronounce the "L" in "salmon." Nothing matters anymore.
3. The number one thing Kanye West and I have in common is that we're both not afraid to say when we need more attention.
2. Kanye "announcing" by tweet that he's running for President even though he's done none of the paperwork yet feels exactly like how Michael Scott thought he could declare bankruptcy by yelling out, "I AM BANKRUPT!"
And the number one thing said by someone when they heard Kanye is running for President was...
1. Can someone even check if "The Simpsons" have an episode of foreseeing Kanye as President?



If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. There may be no "right" way to grieve, but it's safe to say that getting promptly remarried to your therapist is a "wrong" way. "He stormed out and hasn't talked to me since." A concerned mom wrote to the Phile after her widowed son started planning her wedding to... you guessed it... a woman who used to be her therapist. Mom and son were always close, and she had a great relationship with his tragically deceased wife.


"My son and I used to be very close, I had him young and his dad didn't end up sticking around so for a long time it was just us. It made the teen years a breeze because he was always telling me what happened and what parties he went to and who he was seeing so I was never worried about him and trusted him a lot. When he was 17 he met a girl I'll call Sophie. It was pretty clear he were head over heels for each other and she ended up moving into the attic apartment of the home I owned at the time along with him, because her home situation wasn't great (dad was abusive, mom was in jail). Probably partially because I always wanted a daughter (I was past the point of a safe pregnancy by the time I met my husband), and because of my great relationship with my son I ended up very close to Sophie. Sophie and my son go married in January of last year and started trying to have a baby (they were 31 and 29). After a few months we noticed that Sophie was getting quite sick, full body pains, migraines, constant fevers. I paid for her to do a barrage of tests and she was diagnosed with a tumor in her brain. She had always had bad migraines/nosebleeds so unfortunately didn't notice any symptoms until it was too late. She was hospitalized in March of this year and passed away a few weeks later. We were devastated and my son started seeing a therapist via Zoom over lockdown." The son quickly got engaged to the woman who was hired to help him with his grief. "Shortly after lockdown ended my son called me and told me that he had shifted to a new therapist and was now dating his original one (Stacy). He said that he thought it was meant to be and meeting her was a sign from God. I supported him even after he said they were going to get engaged. They held their engagement party at my house last weekend and it was my first time meeting Stacy, but I must admit I was devastated seeing her with my son. I went upstairs and cried for a bit before coming back down for dinner and we seemed to have a lovely night. The following day I was discussing wedding dates with my son and was shocked when he told me he wanted to get married in August (comparatively he was engaged to Sophie for 2 years). I asked if he was maybe rushing it a bit and he accused me of not being supportive and that I just wanted to see him 'alone forever.' I admitted that I was deeply upset by Sophie's death but that I was supportive of my son, I just thought it was inappropriate to be married within a year of Sophie dying. He stormed out and hasn't talked to me since, my hubby thinks neither of us are wrong but I feel awful. Am I wrong?" Yikes. It's an upsetting situation for multiple reasons. I don't think your son or you are wrong. I think the therapist is wrong. Your son's wife died in April, and your son wants to marry his ex-therapist in August, and the therapist sees nothing wrong with this? There are so many huge red flags around this, and you did nothing wrong asking your son if he was rushing this. He absolutely is. People recommended that the mom go as far as report the therapist to her profession's licensing board, including jury members who are therapists themselves. As a therapist, seconded. This is a BLATANT ethical violation, and most professional clinical licenses have ethics clauses tied to them. Find out her licensing board and report her, please!



Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.




No shirt, no shoes, no mask, no service. Now for some sad news...


Charlie Daniels 
October 28th, 1936 — July 6th, 2020
How can you not respect the man that wrote the lyrics "Chicken in a bread pan pickin' out dough, Granny, does your dog bite? No child, no."?

Hugh Downs 
February 14th, 1921 — July 1st, 2020
2020 86ed another 20/20.



The 131st book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Max will be on the Phile next Wednesday.


Today's guest is is an Argentine-American actress. She is best known for playing Detective Rosa Diaz in the NBC comedy series "Brooklyn Nine-Nine." Please welcome to the Phile... Stephanie Beatriz.


Me: Hey, Stephanie, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Stephanie: Hey! I'm great! That's nice of you to ask.

Me: Thank you. So, do people ever think you're gonna act like your character Rosa Diaz? I ask this because she would never say "I'm great. That's nice of you to ask." Haha.

Stephanie: I think it's the advent of reality television honestly. Now comes "The Bachelor" and some other ones, like "Survivor" and "The Amazing Race." We think that the people who are on TV are people we're supposed to meet in real life, My career in television started really only 7 or 8 years ago, so with TV for some reason because they have this relationship as an audience member they have a relationship with these characters then they see them in real life and it's like they've been lied to somehow. It's really strange.

Me: What is that like to have to deal with?

Stephanie: Oh, it almost happens every time fan meets me. Unless their a teenager... teenager's are very savvy and a lot of them have found me on social media and subsequently watched Instagram stories and they heard my real voice or Googled and found YouTube interviews where I'm talking in my real voice. But once I went and saw a play with Melissa Fumero and someone after the play was waiting outside for her to get her autograph and I was standing by the side waiting for Mel and Mel kinda turned to the fan and said, "You know, she's on the show too." The fan had this very confused and this utterly embarrassed look when they figured it out. That one happens a lot and that is fascinated to me because I want to learn how to recreate that. That's really fascinating to me, the turn and their face when they find out who I am.

Me: Stephanie, where are you originally from?

Stephanie: I was born in Neuquén, Neuquén Province, Argentina.

Me: Oh, that's cool. So, is it complicated feeling of not being recognized?

Stephanie: When I first started the show it was frustrating but I think it's because my ego gets in the way. I'm doing my best now to slide my ego out pf the way so I could do good work and be a human. If my ego is getting busted because they didn't recognize me then actually I can turn that around and and say they've given me such a high compliment by saying that I have transformed.

Me: How so?

Stephanie: Because that's my job. To me that's the ultimate goal to disappear inside another character and ring them so full to life that I convinced other human beings that that is a real person.

Me: Does it take some time to get there?

Stephanie: Yeah, but when I get there it's worthwhile.

Me: The show has an interesting story, right? Tell the readers how it was canceled and was brought back.

Stephanie: Fox, the network, canceled "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" and was famously saved by a social media campaign by outraged fans. Not just famous and but every day fans. We were so thrilled that with all of this response the show got picked up by NBC.

Me: How did it feel when all this shit happened?

Stephanie: Wow! It was shocking, it was honestly shocking.

Me: Why was it shocking?

Stephanie: Because it was so much, it was so many people all over the world watching this little show that we were making in Studio City, California. After five seasons I just had my head down and was looking at my own paper trying to make it as funny as I can and as honest I can. I go to work every day, work hard and go home and kinda hope that people watch it.

Me: So, why do you think or know Fox canceled it?

Stephanie: For Fox the rating weren't quite enough for them to keep it for another season so they canceled us. Then the response from other humans saying that they didn't want the show to go away and don't want those character to stop being in their homes every week was really incredible.

Me: How did it affect you personally?

Stephanie: For me especially, the response from the queer community and people that are bisexual or pan sexual or gay was really heartfelt and moving. There were so many people who said "I've never seen myself represented on television." I know what that's like, I know that feeling intimately.

Me: I didn't know you were bisexual, Stephanie. Have any parts of Rosa's story been influenced by your own life?

Stephanie: Well, after I came put personally as bisexual I worked with the writers to bring Rosa an analogue, like a similar story.

Me: How did that come together?

Stephanie: So, after my coming out publicly as bi I think maybe a year later Dan Goor, our head writer and our creator called me and asked me if I'll be interested in possibly being in a storyline that Rosa was also bisexual. I jumped at the chance and thought it would be so exciting and thrilling. For me my coming out wasn't like a cool YouTube video, it was a million little chunks of this thing telling my sister and telling my friends and telling my parents. It was bunch of repetitive often painful moments and so it was important to me to not have this as a tidy television coming out and that it was difficult for Rosa and honestly frustrating for her. Straight people don't have to "come out," they are just straight, it's how they lived their lives. Gay people have to come out and it sucks, it's not always fun and sometime it's dangerous. And I wanted this moment to be for Rosa where it felt uncomfortable, especially where a character who is so closed off to let people in in this way in particular her family, I wanted her to have a feeling of uncomfortableness.

Me: I can't imagine, and you're right, us straight people have it made. We don't have to come out and exclaim "I'm straight." I have no gaydar so unless someone says they're gay, I have no idea. What was it like having that conversation with "Rosa's family"?

Stephanie: Wild. Cathartic. Strange. Utterly painful but really, really assuring. It was lovely and also painful. Because I haven't had that conversation with my parents. I never sat my parents down and been able to talk to them in that open way because they are not ready. 

Me: Really? What? Why not?

Stephanie: They don't have the tools. I've had a conversation with my mother but I haven't had an open discussion with my father. They're not able to do it and I don't blame them. It's not their fault and I think ten years ago I maybe blamed them and was a angry at them. But now I understand that they are working with the tools that they have and they're just not there yet. I'll wait for them, it's okay. I might wait forever but...

Me: Does it seem though that as you had that talk with Rosa's parents on the show you practiced having the talk in real life?

Stephanie: LOL. Yeah, it's so difficult but like I said I'm cautiously optimistic someday we'l be able to talk about it openly.

Me: Rosa seems to be a very complex character, Stephanie, is that important to you?

Stephanie: Hugely. This is not to toot my own horn at all but I don't think I'm capable playing a one note character. Only because this is the thing I like to do the most is play pretend and I am constantly thinking about daydreaming about what's going on in the mind of my character, Even if I HAD to play something one note I think I would secretly be making a lot of notes about it. That's the really fun thing about playing this character, is she is a sort of stereotype architect, tough guy in a leather jacket, no words. But underneath she's this fully fleshed out complex but almost very fragile person. 

Me: When you started out acting were you offered a lot of "one note" roles?

Stephanie: Honey, they weren't offers, they were auditions. I was just trying to make my weeks and get my health insurance. Part of that is who is writing the roles. If the person writing the roles hadn't met any Latino people outside a certain experience then what will be the role that they write. Maybe it will be a certain kind of regurgitated one note stereotypical thing.

Me: So, there was an episode around the MeToo movement. You directed that episode which is cool, so what can you tell us about it?

Stephanie: I did direct the episode and it was the most glorious two weeks of my life. One week our prepping, the next week directing. That's probably the most tired I've ever been. Jake and Amy investigated a case and it was a he said she said the situation and it was up to them to navigate this case and it's really difficult. Sooo many people, and women have dealt with sexual assault and sexual harassment. It's not just a women's issue,.. it is a human issue. I think it's really fascinating to watch these two characters delve into this case and figure it out as they go.

Me: The show is a comedy but beings so many real life situations that are serious into the show. What is it about the how that a drama or documentary can't do do you think?

Stephanie: It lets the pressure out sometimes. In theater we're always excited for the moment in a drama where we get a laugh line, or where we know there's a laugh built into the script because the audience is sometimes just holding their breath and they get that laugh and they release and suddenly, we're going to figure it out together. I think that's what it does so well, what comedies go for is to make the viewer sometimes forget that they are sometimes in the middle of something that's really hard. That's why the cops the I met especially during the research of the first season because I never played a cop before. All of them told me that they laughed a lot at work and sometimes it was very dark, their humor, but they had to laugh because otherwise they'd never make it through the day.

Me: Stephanie, thanks so much for being on the Phile. I hope this was fun. I had Michael Schur on the Phile recently so tell him I said hello. Take care, and please tell the other cast they need to be here. And come back yourself sometime.

Stephanie: Thanks, Jason, this was fun.





That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guest Stephanie Beatriz. The Phile will be back on Friday with the King of Latin Pop... Ricky Martin. Spread the word, not the turd... or virus. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

































I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

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