Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Pheaturing Jess Harnell


Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How was your weekend? Remember laughing at Michael Jackson for wearing a mask and gloves? Now you are out here looking like you wanna be starting something. Tonight at 10 p.m. a medical stalline is flying over the United States to take everybody's temperature. Please stand naked outside your door and wave your ID in the air. I wish. The world’s largest hornet, dubbed the Murder Hornet in Japan and native to Asia, has been found in the state of Washington and is, apparently, poised to spread across the United States if not stopped soon, according to the New York Times. The Washington State Department of Agriculture verified two Asian Giant Hornet sightings near Blaine, Washington, which is situated near the U.S. border with British Columbia, Canada. The Washington DOA also received credible reports of the invasive species near Custer, Washington, which is south of Blaine, thought they were not able to confirm them. It is around this time that the Murder Hornets begin to come out of their winter hibernation. The hornets, which invade and destroy honeybee hives and kill up to fifty human beings a year with the potent neurotoxin delivered through their disturbingly large stinger, have experts worried that North America’s already decreasing honey bee population may take another hit if the Murder Hornets start hitting honeybee colonies... as will the crops they pollinate such as apples, blueberries and cherries. The hornet can also sting through regular beekeeper suits a bee breeder would wear, and their incredibly painful attack delivers roughly seven times the amount of venom as a honey bee sting. The hornets can also sting multiple times, unlike a bee. Multiple stings from the hornet can kill a human, even if they aren’t allergic. Good God how many more terrifying things is this year going to throw at us? It’s only May and we’re already beset with a global coronavirus pandemic and murderous hornets the size of a thumb. At this rate those aliens from Signs are going to start kidnapping us by July and an asteroid will hit just before Christmas. Can we squeeze a quick World War 3 in the fall just to make this year a true fully-formed nightmare? How about some vampires? COVID-19 has pretty much shown that nothing is off the table anymore. Really wish I had one of those Elon Musk flamethrowers right now. Seriously, appropriate government agencies, slaughter these hornets. They look monster cartoon levels of evil with their angry, huge yellow-orange faces and giant mandibles. Definitely do not go after them yourselves, all you average John Q. Hornet Haters out there. Tempting as it may be to give these bee murderers some vigilante justice, the Murder Hornets did, after all, earn their name.
Netflix gave you “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness,” the perfect quarantine series to binge-watch since the coronavirus sent us indoors. It’s almost uncanny how perfect the timing is for such a perfectly fascinating and intriguing Netflix docuseries to come out. However, this TV show was probably going to become popular anyways, regardless of what’s currently going on in the outside world. The original docuseries about Joe Schreibvogel, otherwise known as the infamous “Joe Exotic,” covers the interesting details behind the exotic zookeeper’s life leading up to his imprisonment. It came out on Netflix in March 2020, but was originally based off of the June 2019 issue of the Texas Monthly article by Leif Reigstad called “Joe Exotic: A Dark Journey into the World of a Man Gone Wild.” Now, more big news has come for the insane TV series, as Imagine Television Studios, CBS Television Studios, Make Good Content, Saturn Films and Texas Monthly come together to produce a new, eight-episode scripted series. And you’ll never believe who gets the luxury of playing the tiger king himself. Nicolas Cage will be starring in, what will also be the first television role of his career, a currently untitled limited series as the tiger king. Yes, the National Treasure actor will star as this unconventional zookeeper from Oklahoma, in a story that will “explore how he became Joe Exotic, and how he lost himself to a character of his own creation,” as said in a statement by ViacomCBS about the new series. The Peabody-Award winning showrunner of “American Vandal," Dan Lagana, will also be the showrunner and executive producer of the new tiger king series. This show is different from the “Saturday Night Live” version that is to come out with Kate Mckinnon starring as Carole Baskins, the animal rights activist Joe Exotic is currently imprisoned for planning a murder-for-hire against. That in itself will also be an interesting watch, considering all the characters initially introduced in the original Netflix docuseries are incredibly bizarre, eccentric, and erratic. I’m sure I can speak for everyone when I say that we can’t wait to hear more details about this new series. Even if you’re not even remotely keen on the tiger king, you can’t tell me your curiosity isn’t a little peaked. By the way, I still haven't watched "Tiger King."
A California man with either an unfortunate lack of alternate clean linens at his home or, just, you know, plain old ignorance... or both... was spotted in California grocery shopping in a Ku Klux Klan hood in order to cover his face. Check this shit out...


The man, who was shopping at Vons grocery storein Santee, California, was photographed by customers both worried and perplexed and, eventually, confronted by store clerks who told him to remove the hood while he was waiting to check out. The man eventually complied, purchased what he’d come for, and left. Residents from Santee and San Diego expressed outrage at the images of the man and his racist attire after they were posted on Facebook. Santee Mayor John Minto took to social media to say that the man’s action did not represent the values of the city. It’s funny that this guy was only wearing his Klan hood and not the robe, because what he was wearing on the rest of his body is exactly what I picture people are usually wearing under their Klan robes. Cheap cargo shorts, camo shirt, a ratty ponytail, socks that look like they were purchased at a Walgreens, and dumpy shoes. This is almost too on the nose. There’s a decent chance this guy was in some way doing this as a protest against stay-at-home and lockdown orders related to the coronavirus. I don’t know what message, exactly, wearing a Klan hood gets across, but it wouldn’t surprise me if this was some extremely shitty attempt to equate the government trying to protect lives to the Ku Klux Klan’s reign of terror over black people and their allies in the South in the late 19th Century through mid 20th Century. Just wear a Hitler mask, dude.
It looks like CVS and Walgreens are doing everything they can to help the public fight against COVID-19. The leading U.S. drugstore chains will now be hosting more test sites in May for the coronavirus. Parking lot, drive-through, and in-store testing at the retail chains will come up in the few coming weeks. CVS is eyeing around 1,000 participating locations, which is 10 percent of all stores in the country. They still haven’t released which stores exactly will have the test and which won’t, but the test will be coming at the end of summer. CVS Health offers self swab coronavirus testings to individuals who meet the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention criteria. Walgreens will be establishing free drive-thru nasal testing, which is expected to test more than 50,000 people a week when they begin. At CVS, patients can schedule tests online which will be conducted in parking lots or drive-thru windows. By the end of May, CVS expects to be processing approximately 1.5 million times a month. Through a statement, CVS noted, employees and health officials “participating in the test collection process will maintain safety using personal protective equipment and follow sanitization protocols after each test.” CVS CEO and President Larry Merlo stated this united by the unique role that they play in addressing the pandemic, and want to protect people’s health any way they can. He noted CVS shared the same goals, and these tests will help slow the spread of the virus just start, “responsibility reopening the economy when experts tell is it safe.” As for Walgreens, it is said to be focusing its efforts on improving the access to testing in underserved communities. It will also be working with companies to provide testing to employees to help businesses reopen in the weeks and months ahead. According to Walgreen officials, the safety and health of their customers, team members, and communities are a top priority for them now more than ever. They stated, “All testing site staff will be provided with the necessary personal protective equipment as recommended by the CDC. Patients being tested will not be permitted to leave their vehicles or to enter the store.” As of now, CVS has testing locations in Georgia, Massachusetts, Michigan, Rhode Island, and Connecticut. The company did state they are working to add sites as quickly as possible, meaning more states can are expected to be added to their list. For Walgreens, as of now, testing is available in Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, North Carolina, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, and Wisconsin with more sites coming soon.
U.S. officials believe China covered up the extent of the coronavirus outbreak... and how contagious the disease is... to stock up on medical supplies needed to respond to it, intelligence documents show. Chinese leaders “intentionally concealed the severity” of the pandemic from the world in early January, according to a four-page Department of Homeland Security intelligence report dated May 1st and obtained by the Associated Press. The revelation comes as the Trump administration has intensified its criticism of China, with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo saying Sunday that that country was responsible for the spread of disease and must be held accountable. The sharper rhetoric coincides with administration critics saying the government’s response to the virus was slow and inadequate. President Donald Trump’s political opponents have accused him of lashing out at China, a geopolitical foe but critical U.S. trade partner, in an attempt to deflect criticism at home. Not classified but marked “for official use only,” the DHS analysis states that, while downplaying the severity of the coronavirus, China increased imports and decreased exports of medical supplies. It attempted to cover up doing so by “denying there were export restrictions and obfuscating and delaying provision of its trade data,” the analysis states. The report also says China held off informing the World Health Organization that the coronavirus “was a contagion” for much of January so it could order medical supplies from abroad... and that its imports of face masks and surgical gowns and gloves increased sharply. Those conclusions are based on the 95% probability that China’s changes in imports and export behavior were not within normal range, according to the report. China informed the W.H.O. of the outbreak on December 31st. It contacted the U.S. Centers for Disease Control on Jan. 3 and publicly identified the pathogen as a novel coronavirus on January 8th. Chinese officials muffled doctors who warned about the virus early on and repeatedly downplayed the threat of the outbreak. However, many of the Chinese government’s missteps appear to have been due to bureaucratic hurdles, tight controls on information and officials hesitant to report bad news. There is no public evidence to suggest it was an intentional plot to buy up the world’s medical supplies. In a tweet on Sunday, the president appeared to blame U.S. intelligence officials for not making clearer sooner just how dangerous a potential coronavirus outbreak could be. Trump has been defensive over whether he failed to act after receiving early warnings from intelligence officials and others about the coronavirus and its potential impact. “Intelligence has just reported to me that I was correct, and that they did NOT bring up the coronavirus subject matter until late into January, just prior to my banning China from the U.S.,” Trump wrote without citing specifics. “Also, they only spoke of the Virus in a very non-threatening, or matter of fact, manner.” Trump had previously speculated that China may have unleashed the coronavirus due to some kind of horrible “mistake.” His intelligence agencies say they are still examining a notion put forward by the president and aides that the pandemic may have resulted from an accident at a Chinese lab. Speaking Sunday on ABC’s “This Week,” Pompeo said he had no reason to believe that the virus was deliberately spread. But he added, “Remember, China has a history of infecting the world, and they have a history of running substandard laboratories.” “These are not the first times that we’ve had a world exposed to viruses as a result of failures in a Chinese lab,” Pompeo said. “And so, while the intelligence community continues to do its work, they should continue to do that, and verify so that we are certain, I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan.” The secretary of state appeared to be referring to previous outbreaks of respiratory viruses, like SARS, which started in China. Pompeo repeated the same assertion hours later, via a tweet Sunday afternoon. On Monday, China’s official Global Times newspaper said Pompeo was making “groundless accusations” against Beijing by suggesting the coronavirus was released from a Chinese laboratory. The populist tabloid published by the ruling Communist Party mouthpiece People’s Daily said the claims were a politically-motivated attempt to preserve Donald Trump’s presidency and divert attention from the U.S. administration’s own failures in dealing with the outbreak. “As the U.S. presidential election campaigns are underway, the Trump administration has implemented a strategy designed to divert attention from the incompetence it has displayed in fighting the pandemic,” the paper said in an editorial. The paper has made the U.S. top diplomat a main target of its attacks, in recent weeks describing him as “despicable” and of having “evil intentions” by blaming China for having caused the pandemic. While the virus is believed to have originated in the central Chinese city of Wuhan, most scientists say it was most likely transmitted from bats to humans via an intermediary animal such as the armadillo-like pangolin. That has placed the focus on a wet market in the city where wildlife was sold for food. The theories about a possible human release have centered on the Wuhan Institute of Virology which undertook research into the transmission of pathogens from animals to people. Beijing has repeatedly pushed back on U.S. accusations that the outbreak was China’s fault, pointing to many missteps made by American officials in their own fight against the outbreak. China’s public announcement on January 20th that the virus was transmissible from person to person left the U.S. nearly two months to prepare for the pandemic, during which the U.S. government failed to bolster medical supplies and deployed flawed testing kits.
Will someone please put this back where it belongs?


Church signs are getting very creative since this whole coronavirus business started...


It's good to wear gloves and masks when you go out but some people are taking it just a little bit too far.


Hey, Yakko Warner, where is the coronavirus the worse?


Terrific. So, with those protestors, some of them have really lame signs...


They tell me if I go to Walmart I'm gonna see some strange sights. I didn;t believe it until I saw this...


If I had a TARDIS I would probably end up meeting Moody Jacobs who will gross me out by showing me a giant bruise on the side and hip of his patient, Ann Hodges, after she was struck by a meteorite. She is the only confirmed person in history to have been hit by a meteorite.


On a clear afternoon in Sylacauga, Alabama, in late November 1954, Ann Hodges was napping on her couch, covered by quilts, when a softball-size hunk of black rock broke through the ceiling, bounced off a radio, and hit her in the side, leaving a pineapple-shaped bruise. After a dispute with their landlady about who owned the meteorite, the Hodges donated it to the Alabama Natural History Museum, where it is still on display. Yeesh. So, yesterday I went to the beach and noticed a new beach warning sign...


Damn. I went into the water just briefly. It was actually not busy and people were staying well away from each other. I got a slight sunburn but not as bad as this guy...


How the hell did that happen? Okay, Sunday is Mother's Day so if you're looking for a Mother's Day card how about this one?

That is the perfect Mother’s Day card for your "Golden Girls" lovin’ mom. Stay golden! This will cheer you up... a pic of "dog food."


So bloody cute! When you're pregnant, you can feel like your body isn't your own... especially when other people are commenting on your weight. But is it okay for a husband to take issue with his pregnant wife's diet? That's what one guy is asking the Phile after he called his wife "selfish" for not eating enough (according to him). The man acknowledges that his four-months-pregnant wife used to model and was under pressure to stay thin...


"I know this sounds harsh but please hear me out. I am 33-years-old and my wife is 29. We have been married for six months and she is four months pregnant. My wife was a fashion model from age 15 to 24. She worked in high fashion and they really stressed the importance of being rail thin. My wife is 5’11 and I don’t think she’s ever weighed more than 125 pounds her entire life."  The doctor told her to gain a certain amount of weight, but the husband doesn't think she's following his instructions. "We found out about her pregnancy two months ago. The doctor said during the first three months of pregnancy she should aim to gain at least five pounds, especially since she’s underweight (currently 125 pounds). He wants her to gain like thirty pounds at least throughout the whole pregnancy." However she has not followed his advice and continues to eat very little (around 1000 calories a day). She says her eating habits are not disordered at all, but her husband doesn't believe her. "My wife swears she has never had an eating disorder in her life but I think her years as a model really screwed with her head. It’s hard for her to wrap her mind around being anything but model-thin. I’m legitimately worried about this pregnancy and the health of our child." He cooked her a meal and was incensed when she wouldn't eat it. "Yesterday I made sure dinner consisted of some of her favorite dishes, to try and get her to eat more, but as usual she just picked at her food and ate very little then proclaimed she was 'full.' I straight up said, 'You are being incredibly selfish and putting our baby’s health at risk.'" His wife cried and insists nothing's wrong with her eating. "She started crying and left the table. I know what I said was harsh but I am very frustrated with her. I try to get her to see a therapist, I even found one that deals especially with eating disorders and body dysmorphia, but she refused to go because she says she is 'perfectly fine.' Jason, am I wrong here?" Hmmmm. I think you are in the wrong here because there's no real proof that your wife isn't eating enough. I totally understand your response and frustration with your wife. But your wife 100% has body image issues that are mental health issues at this point and I can tell she is terrified of gaining weight but doesn't see it as that way. You should really talk to her about a therapist again, that if she is so against doing what the doctor says that she needs to see the therapist. You didn't even report that she says she doesn't want to gain weight. Does he even know that she hasn't gained any weight? When you're already as thin as his wife, and you're pregnant, and you're that tall, I feel like you can easily gain the five pounds the doctor wants her to gain and it not be noticeable. All we know from this story is that he doesn't think his wife eats enough, so he made her a bunch of food, and she wasn't hungry. That could be for any number of reasons. Morning sickness isn't just in the morning. Maybe she'd already eaten a lot earlier. Maybe she legitimately wasn't hungry. So whether the mom-to-be is eating "enough" or not, calling her selfish is probably not the answer. Come on, man.




haha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's see what is going on in Port Jefferson today...


Not much as usual. Okay, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, here's a story that happened in Florida that could happen no where else in the universe probably...


I hate these types of stories. I will never understand how any human has the nerve and heart to treat a poor animal like this. It’s truly devastating to think that they are so numb to their emotions, that they think this is okay. Which is why 79-year-old Dean Woodyatt is now rotting jail for his despicable actions. The Florida man is accused of tying his German shepherd to a golf cart and then dragging it down the road, ultimately killing it from exhaustion. According to the Fort Walton Beach police department, several good samaritans and motorists saw the incident and desperately tried to get him to pull over to save the pup. Northwest Florida Daily News stated is unclear as to how long the abuse went on, but the dog later died to heat-related injuries. This after the temperature in Florida was in the high 70s the day of the incident. When authorities arrived at the scene, the pup was said to be struggling to breathe and had multiple injuries on its feet. The terrible horrible man initially had tried to flee by grabbing the least and jumping back on his golf cart, but officers forcibly stopped him. Police were able to arrest him, and quickly took him to Okaloosa County Jail where he was booked. As far as his charges, well, due to the severity of the issue, they are still unclear. But, a Panhandle Animal Welfare Society animal control officer was able to take the dog’s remains and a necropsy was planned. The agency is said to pursue the charges. According to PAWS Interim Executive Director Melissa Forberg, “animal cruelty is never acceptable in a civilized society.” Because well, there is no way these animals can defend themselves from an evil presence who has no heart or soul. It’s heartbreaking to think that there are people who have this much evil inside them. I hope this man gets the maximum punishment.



This group of people protesting social distancing.



Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...


Top Phive Things People Were Overheard Saying About The Murder Hornets
5. About those Murder Hornets... Japanese honeybees defend themselves by swarming the hornets and vibrating their wing muscles. This is called "heat balling." It raises the temperature and CO2 levels inside the ball. The hornets cook and choke to death.
4. Once I invent a coronavirus vaccine and build an unbreakable tsunami wall and create a Murder Hornet shield and weave a bulletproof vest and dig myself out of this bunker it's all over for you bitches.
3. My lawyer friends call them Alleged Murder Hornets.
2. April: coronavirus lockdown. May: Murder Hornet lockdown.
And the number one thing that was overheard about the Murder Hornets is...
1. It was the best of times, it was the Murder Hornet of times.



Do old people find other old people attractive? Or do they like young people and settle for other old people?



The 123rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


Ms. Sally Field will be on the Phile on Friday. Now for some...


Phact 1. After the first attempt to assassinate Franz Ferdinand failed due to a mistimed bomb, the assassin swallowed a cyanide pill and jumped into the Miljacka River to kill himself. The pill was expired and only induced vomiting and the Miljacka was only 13 cm deep due to the hot, dry summer.

Phact 2. In America, more concussions are associated with bicycling than any other sport or activity.

Phact 3. A JFK assassination witness claimed to see a suspicious unidentified man standing in the window of the school book depository, who later fled the scene. His testimony was ignored, he was intimidated several times, and there were several attempts on his life.

Phact 4. Grateful airline passengers stranded in Gander, Newfoundland on 9/11 started a scholarship fund for local students that now total around $1.5 million.

Phact 5. No one “won” the war of 1812.



Today's guest is an American voice actor and singer. He voiced Wakko Warner in "Animaniacs" and Crash Bandicoot in the video game franchise of the same name. Please welcome to the Phile... Jess Harnell!


Me: Hey, Jess, welcome to the Phile. I'm so excited to have you here. How are you?

Jess: Slooooowwwww riiiidddddeeeee... take it easy. I'm great, Jason, it's great to be here.

Me: Haha. So, I read that you voiced Roger Rabbit somewhere. How did that happen?

Jess: Yeah, that was my first big thing actually. I got lucky because the guy who was doing the music for Splash Mountain in the Disney parks was a friend of mine who I knew when I was doing singing stuff. He said, "I know you do some crazy voices, man, would you like to audition for some of the voices on that ride?" I said cool, because I'd love to go to Disneyland and hear my voice on something. I went and auditioned and ended up getting Br'er Rabbit, Br'er Bear, Br'er Alligator and an animal with a Br'er mailbox. I got all this critters on the ride which was great and I went back to singing and I later met Rick Dempsey who was the head of Disney character voices and he said, "Hey, we're having some problems with Roger Rabbit stuff, can you do that?" I said, "I don't know, man, I could try." I went to watch the movie and the next thing I know I was doing Roger Rabbit, which was my first non-Disney park related thing. It was pretty great, man.

Me: I always thought Charles Fleischer always played Roger... guess I was wrong.

Jess: He did the movie and the shorts and stuff like that but I did other stuff like parades, talking toys, and various shows like Ice Capades and a couple of other things. It's been a while but that was my first big thing other than the ride and I was excited about it. It'a a great way to start.

Me: What's your favorite thing about doing voice-overs, Jess?

Jess: I can literally go from animal noises, to a war video game to announcing for "America's Funniest Home Videos" and nobody would be able to connect the dots but I am only limited to voice-overs by what I could do vocally which is I can get so many jobs more than an on-camera person can because I'm only going to sit in a box, it doesn't matter what I look like.

Me: I didn't know you announced "America's Funniest Home Videos" at all. You still do that?

Jess: Yeah, for over 20 years now.

Me: Is that fun to do?

Jess: It's just a groove, man. It's just a wonderful show because I see literally grandparents watching it with their kids who are watching it with their kids. It's like cross generational, it's funny and it's such a cool thing. I go in there and I love the people I work for like seven minutes, I talk to them for about 20 minutes and than I go out for Chinese food. It's awesome.

Me: That show has been on for so long with different hosts. Are you surprised it's a still a thing, especially with YouTube and stuff now?

Jess: I was told once that as long as people are getting hit in the nuts we're gonna have a show.

Me: Hahaha. Did you do all the singing voices as well on Splash Mountain?

Jess: Oh, sure, I did all the Br'er Rabbit singing and the chorus stuff. Like I said, I did Br'er this and Br'er that.

Me: I bet it's fun for you when you go on that ride and here your voice, am I right?

Jess: It's always fun when I go on that ride because they had me do so many characters and when I go through it I hear something different all the time. I'm like wait a minute, that was me. I'm the vultures too, when you're at the bottom when you go to the top of the hill.

Me: How did you step into the world of voice acting?

Jess: Oh, well, it happened kind of organically, man. I was a singer, I still am a singer, and for my first demo tape I made as a singer I did "We Are the World," you know the song from the 80s that had about 40 people singing it. I imitated everybody's voice. It was cool, and it was like clever marketing and it got noticed. I remember saying to my best buddy if it was terrible it'll still get attention and fortunately it didn't turn out that terrible and I started to sing on a lot of commercials like Coke and Reebock and Toyota and all this big accounts. And because I had a mic and I'm super hyper and have ADD I would start to reading the voice-over copies some times and the producers would go, "Hey, you sound pretty good, why don't you take a crack at that." and I would go okay and I'd start to read voice-over copies. It never occurred to me how the industry worked and I didn't know about agents and all that. I was just doing that on what I sang. Then as I mentioned before this guy who I sang for on TV shows and stuff, I used to do a lot of singing imitations, this thing called "soundalikes" where they have someone sing the song instead of paying the actual record, I did hundreds of those things. This guy who I sang for asked me if I'd audition for this ride at Disney and that's how the whole thing started.

Me: How did you go from doing Roger Rabbit and Disney stuff to other stuff?

Jess: God bless for Rick Dempsey, man. After I did the Roger Rabbit stuff he actually wrote a letter about me and forwarded it to the top agencies in town, which was huge thing. Back then I didn't know how big that was. I literally was taken too lunch by the top agencies in Los Angeles, and I didn't know what a big deal that was. I was just happy that somebody was buying me lunch.

Me: Okay, so, Paul Rugg who I interviewed a few weeks ago got me in touch with you as he wrote for "Animaniacs." You played Wakko on that show, how did that come about?

Jess: The Wakko thing came about because early on in my career they sent to my agency do I want to come in and read for this show that Spielberg was doing. I said okay and went down and they had about 30 characters for me to audition for on the spot. I was looking through them and I just liked the name Wakko and I thought this is not going to suck, he has got to be fun as his name was Wakko. 

Me: What was the audition like?

Jess: Well, I started messing around and the audition was nothing like he turned out to be. But I guess it was good enough to get me a call back and when I got the call back they were like try this and try that and they said, "You do impressions?" I said yeah so they said why don't I try some impressions. The first one I did was Elvis, which was really funny. They said, "What about the Beatles?" I did John Lennon's voice and when they showed me a character picture it kinda fit. That's how that happened. He sounds like a Beatle on helium.

Me: Were you surprised that was the voice they chose?

Jess: Yeah, but it just goes to show you never be afraid to go out on a limb and do something unique because apparently when they played the top choices for Wakko for Spielberg I was the only one who done anything remotely like that. Everyone else went the obvious route and I went with the wackiest voice I can. He said, "Oh, that's it." he thought it was funny and he laughed.

Me: Do you know anybody else who was up for the role of Wakko?

Jess: Everybody was up for it. I'm not saying I'm so awesome that I got it. It was huge casting, it's one of those things that everyone went up for.

Me: Are you friends with a lot of other voice-over people? 

Jess: That's the thing with doing voice-overs, we all work together on one thing or another. There's a high level of respect and a high level of admiration.

Me: That's cool. So, you're in a band called Rock Sugar, am I right?

Jess: How crazy is that? For your listeners who don't know I'd say go to YouTube and type in "Rock Sugar" and you'd understand.

Me: Do you like being in the band?

Jess: It's funny, man, I've always been in a band my whole life. I look like a rock guy and people always think I'm a member of Def Leppard or something. I don't complain about it, and it's also a good thing for marketing actually with the way I look. I'm pretty much the only person in the industry who looks like this. People remember me. I actually think it helps me get work, because if I get a job for people I don't know that well they say get that guy with the long hair. That's how I get jobs and make a lot of money.

Me: So, what can you tell us about the band?

Jess: I thought it'll be cool and I thought what if a 80s heavy metal band got stuck on a desert island for 20 years and were forced to listen to pop records for all those years and then they got rescued. They went back as a band and what would they sound like. I told my best buddy and who was guitarist and said what if we took all the best metal riffs from the 80s and I sang pop songs from the 80s. The first thing he came back to me with was Metallica's "Enter Sandman" crossed with Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" and we came up with "Don't Stop the Sandman." We put it up on-line, got hundreds of thousands of hits then to a million hits. We went immediately to playing nowhere to opening up for AC/DC and Aerosmith and Def Leppard and Posion and you name it. We opened up for everybody in arenas. We played for like a hundred thousand people. It's so funny to me. I'm beating my head against the wall all my life writing songs, trying and pushing and hoping and then this happened.

Me: Jess, thanks for being on the Phile. I hope you will come back soon. Stay well.

Jess: Thanks, Jason, I love your blog and I love Foghat. Your dad rocked!!

Me: Thanks, Jess.






That about to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Jess Harnell for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with actress Julia Stiles. Spread the word, not the turd... or virus. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

































I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon

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