Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Did you watch the Super Bowl last night? I did, but who is this "Liv" they kept talking about? I was waiting for Liv Tyler to show up. Haha. I'm so stupid. Anyway, ICYMI, the Kansas City Chiefs overcame a 20-10 4th quarter deficit to come back and beat the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl LIV. After going up 24-20 and turning the 49ers over on downs, Chiefs running back Damien Williams nailed the dagger with a 38-yard touchdown run to seal it. Jennifer Lopez and Shakira used the Super Bowl Halftime Show to make a poignant political statement about the U.S.-Mexico border crisis. You might have been too distracted to notice it at first glance. But after J. Lo's solo portion of the performance, when her daughter Emme Maribel Muñiz started to sing a slowed-down version of "Let's Get Loud," she was in a stylized version of a cage...
Emme and other performers can be seen in an array of cage-like structures. People were assuming that this was meant to symbolize children who have been caged at the border of the U.S. and Mexico. And it's no coincidence that "Let's Get Loud" was playing. There was another message thrown in when Jennifer Lopez walked out in a Puerto-Rican flag while her daughter sang "Born in the U.S.A." Because as some people... including Donald Trump... often forget, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S. and people born in Puerto Rico are U.S. citizens.
An Arizona woman needed surgery to remove a small vibrator from her bladder after the device, which is only intended for external use, somehow shimmied its way up into her. Way up into her. The woman, who understandably did not want to be identified, told local news that she was testing out her new Vesper Vibrator Necklace during adult times in the bedroom with her boyfriend when, suddenly, the device slipped from outside to inside and shot up inside of her. Rightfully freaked out, the woman rushed to the ER with the still vibrating sex toy inside of her, apparently shaking her entire abdomen upon every vibration. The ER team x-rayed the woman but could not find the device in her abdomen, where they believed it was. Finally, OBGYN Greg Marchand conducted an x-ray of his own and found the vibrator lodged inside her bladder. After a quick emergency surgery, the vibrator was removed. The woman now says she wants to sue the maker of the vibrator, Crave. A spokesperson for Crave responded by basically saying, “Nah she used it wrong.”
The mother of a grade R student from Laerskool Schweizer-Reneke in North West Province, South Africa is outraged after a picture surfaced online of her child and three other black children sitting separately from white children in their classroom. The picture was shared on the school’s WhatsApp group by the children’s teacher, who has yet to be identified. The mother, who decided to remain anonymous to protect the identity of her child, stated her son’s first day in grade R (the South African equivalent of kindergarten) had started off smoothly. She and her parents dropped off their children and were later asked to leave the school premises. At 9 a.m., they all received an update from the teacher on how their day was going via the WhatsApp group. Of course, perceptions vary on what an image means, but they say that pictures do speak a thousand words. In this case, the picture shows 18 white children in the classroom, occupying a large desk in the middle of the room. Four black children are also seen in the corner, occupying one desk at the far end of the classroom. The mother was concerned after no one was saying anything from the separation of the children. She said after discussing with another parent outside the group, that parents contacted the school principal to ask about the seating arrangements, but the principal said she was not aware of the situation. When asked how the situation made her feel, the agitated mother said she was more than angry and didn’t know what further steps to take. Luckily, she said the child was only 5-years-old and was still too young to notice what was happening. As for the picture, it was since gone viral on social media. Several online users responded to the picture, saying they were ashamed, claiming racism was the cause of the root and want an explanation. Unfortunately, the school hasn’t released any statement in regard to the incident.
An Ontario teenager apparently lost his mind, and money, in an unsuccessful attempt to get a fake identification. Yes, Provincial police stated the Norfolk County teen contacted them to say that they sent an undisclosed amount of money to a complete stranger after seeing an ad for a fake ID on social media but never received it. Because well, that’s what you should exactly do whenever you don’t get your fake ID right? While yes, the financial loss is a concern, this kid probably has bigger fish to fry. Why? Basically, this scammer has all of his personal information. Pray they don’t use the kid’s social security or worse, go to his house and steal everything. His parents must be so proud. Police stated they are now investigating the incident as a possible fraud case. They have also issued a warning to the public, reminding online shoppers to be careful about giving out any personal information online. Through Twitter, Const. Ed Sanchuk noted, “The OPP are urging all residents to protect their personal information. Sending your personal and identifying information to an unknown individual or fake ID business opens the door to someone stealing your identity.” In addition to the risk of identity theft, Sanchuk noted criminal charges could potentially be given to those who “tender or provide any town with anyone with a piece of identification claiming that you’re a certain age or using other people’s names.” He is now encouraging parents to speak with their children about the consequences, especially when it comes to underage drinking and using a fake ID. As for the teen, it is still unclear whether or not he will face criminal charges. Still, I wonder how much money this kid paid? I mean, if he called 911 about it, I want to say it was $100 or more because this is just plain stupid. He probably lost all of his allowances and didn’t know what to do. Hey kids, don’t order stuff online that requires you to put in your information, especially if it is to a stranger. What a dummy.
The World Health Organization has declared the new coronavirus outbreak a global health emergency. They have acknowledged the disease represents a risk outside of China, where it emerged last month. The declaration, which is officially called a Public Health Emergency of International Concern, “serves notice to all United Nations member states that the world’s top health advisory body rates the situation as serious.” Countries are now said to decide whether they cancel flights, screen people who are arriving at airports, close their borders, go on lockdown, or take other measures due to the global emergency. The official decision came as cases have begun to appear despite people not traveling to China during the outbreak. Thursday morning, health officials reported the first case of person to person transmission of coronavirus in the United States. The patient is the husband of a woman who was the first reported case in Chicago. The woman had returned from the City of Wuhan, China, which is the epicenter of the virus. Luckily, she was hospitalized and appears to be doing well, according to Dr. Jennifer Layden, an epidemiologist at the Illinois Department of Public Health. Her husband had not traveled to China but recently began showing several symptoms and was immediately isolated at the hospital. A lab test confirmed the man was indeed infected with the coronavirus. To avoid more spread, health experts are tracking the places both patients visit and are identifying all close contacts to monitor them. Officials did state the public is at low risk. Person to person transmission or human transmission may occur if someone who is sick talks, breathes, sneezes, or coughs in the vicinity of others. Respiratory droplets carrying the virus may then travel from a sick person to surfaces or other people. Those with weaker health systems are at a slightly higher risk. Experts have expected to see the spread of the virus in the U.S. based on the transition patterns seen in China. Dr. Robert Redfield, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noted, “We understand that this may be concerning. But our assessment remains that the immediate risk to the American public is low.” In the United States, the disease is not spreading widely and people who have not had any close contact with someone who traveled to China recently are unlikely to get infected. The new coronavirus has killed 170 people as of now and there is more than 7,834 number of cases confirmed. 37 of those recorded deaths occurred in Hubei Province, the center of the outbreak. One person died in the southwestern province of Sichuan. At the time of this announcement, there were nearly 2,000 new cases recorded in the past 24 hours for a total of 7,834. According to World Health Organization, the majority of the cases were inside of China, and 98 cases were confirmed in 18 other countries. The New York Times reports Thailand currently has 14 cases of the virus; “Japan has 11; Hong Kong and Singapore have 10; Taiwan has eight; Australia, Malaysia, and Macau each have seven; France and the United States have six; South Korea, Germany and the United Arab Emirates each have 4; Canada has three; Vietnam has two; and India, the Philippines, Nepal, Cambodia, Sri Lanka and Finland each have one.”
Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...
Maybe not. Yesterday was Groundhog Day and the groundhog didn't see his shadow so spring will come early. But what was odd I thought was the groundhog had a lightsaber...
Crazy, right? Corona beer changed their name to avoid association with the coronavirus outbreak.
Hahaha. I was thinking of getting another tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...
Damn it. Haha. If I had a TARDIS I would go to London during World War II to see of I could find my parents but instead I'd find this little girl...
I can't tell if she's holding a baby doll or an actual baby. Ever see panhandlers on the side of the road or on a sidewalk? Some of the sure get clever...
I think this guy wins so far. How original is he, right? So, I don't really know what an Influencer is but they are out there in the wild.
Haha. I've been showing you the differences the press talk about Meghan and Kate. Well, here's another example...
Meghan got crap for dipping a toe in the fashion world, while there was barely a peep when Prince Charles followed her lead. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Things Said During The Super Bowl Halftime Show
5. If you found the Halftime Show inappropriate 1) You’re no fun. 2) If a woman being confident in her body while also not showing any “sexual” part makes you uncomfortable, you make me uncomfortable. Have you never been to a beach or water park?
4. Why do female performers feel the need to be half-naked? Men singers don't come out to sing in a Speedo.
3. Shakira, 43, and J. Lo, 50, look amazing. Wow. Inspiring. BUT... We must really be confusing young people. One minute, we’re teaching them not to objectify women. The next, we’re teaching them that "empowered women" are the ones on stripper poles.
2. Shakira doing the tongue thing should be a meme in 5... 4... 3... 2...
And the number one thing said during the Super Bowl Halftime Show was...
1. Shakira’s Lebanese side snapped today.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know, Okay, so there's this local teacher who has been on the Phile before and tell us how his day is going. He is on lunch at work and wanted to run over and say hello. So, please welcome to the Phile once again...
Me: Hello, Mr. Cylance, how are you?
Mr. Cylance: Hello, Jason. You never guess what I saw today.
Me: I have no idea: What?
Mr. Cylance: I walked in on the gym teacher and the art teacher having sex. Right in the staff room. The art teacher had the gym teacher bent over the couch and was going to town.
Me: And that's why you're so happy?
Mr. Cylance: Well, it's not the way I wanted to start my day, but they seemed to have started it out well...
Me: Okay then.
Mr. Cylance: I thought you your readers would appreciate that. I have to go back to school now, bye, Jason. See you soon. Have a glorious day!
Me: Thanks. Mr. Cylance, the happiest teacher around, kids. There was no point to that whatsoever.
The Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl on Sunday, thanks to a memorable fourth quarter comeback from Patrick Mahomes. After the game, President Donald Trump tweeted out a congratulations to the team and the “Great State of Kansas” for the win. The only thing is, the Kansas City Chiefs play in Kansas City, Missouri. Trump (or his team) deleted the tweet shortly after it went up, but plenty of people caught screenshots. Here it is...
A corrected tweet went up shortly thereafter...
Hahaha. What an idiot. Friendships between co-workers can be incredibly rewarding, but if there's any friction you do have to spend approximately 40 hours a week with them... Depending on your job and responsibilities, it's sometimes possible to see your co-workers during your waking hours more than you see your partner or children. Having a calm and happy work environment is key to creating quality work, which means even the smallest feuds with co-workers can send the office into a spiral of despair and passive aggressive notes in the break room. When a recent Pile reader emailed me asking question about how to approach a problem she's having with her female co-worker in a male-dominated office and industry, I decided I'm here for her.
"Am I wrong because I don't want 'girl talk' with my co-worker? I'm a 24-year-old female engineer in a small firm where ALL the other engineers were middle aged men until a few months ago. It's been okay. I do feel like I have to be twice as hardworking/productive/competent to get the respect I do. But since I do work very hard it's okay. There are small issues that make being female hard here. For example the office temperature ranges from 63F to 59F. Every one of them is a sizable man and that's the temp they're comfortable at. I'm petite and wear my coat, hat and fingerless gloves all day. As a 'compromise' I can have a space heater at my desk, but as its open plan, this doesn't do much. The women's bathroom has a tiny sitting area, and I put another heater there, so I can sit there for a bit and warm up if I have to, which helps. In October an engineer started transitioning to a woman... "Alan" to "Chloe." Alan had hardly ever talked to me, but my first encounter with her as Chloe was stressful. She started using the women's bathroom and said my heater had to go since she had to do her makeup and it was making her sweat and her makeup run. I said let's discuss it, try to find a compromise, but after I came back from lunch I found the heater unplugged on my desk. I went to ask her what happened, she harshly said the bathroom wasn't my private property and I 'needed to start learning to consider others for once in my life.' This was basically my first conversation with this person ever! I thought we'd just avoid each other after that but she actually started acting like we were BFFs. 'Us girls' this, and 'us girls' that. Whenever I go to the bathroom she'd book it there to start talking to me while I was using the stall, about topics I have no interest in like makeup and clothes." She UNPLUGGED THE HEATER? Rude. "She assumed I'm interested in things like gossip and catty remarks about others which I AM NOT. I'm a very positive team oriented person and don't like talking about others behind their back. Chloe started acting like she's ditzy/helpless and can't do things that SHE WROTE TRAINING MANUALS ON OVER 10 YEARS AGO. And say things to me in front of the whole office like, 'it's just so hard for us girls!' After a few times I asked Chloe to stop acting like women aren't competent, and I haven't heard her do it in a little while. But she ramped up the other stuff, like saying 'us girls' to the other engineers, making BOTH of us different from them. Wanting to talk to me about 'girlie' topics I dislike. She brings them up at normal social times like lunch so I can't always say I'm busy. I DO NOT WANT her separating me from the other engineers based on my sex. I had to fight hard enough to be seen as just another engineer and respected. I don't want to be put in a different box. I don't want to be 'one of the girls' with her and separated from the others. I don't want these constant gender reminders referenced to me. I also don't like her as Alan or Chloe and don't want to be friends." Not every woman likes to gossip and do a face mask while drinking chardonnay and crying to a rom-com. This woman needs to respect that her co-worker doesn't want to separate herself so clearly from the men she works with. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel for Chloe. She's probably struggling to figure out her identity as a woman, and what being a woman means. So she's starting with things that are very stereotypical, because she's not comfortable with who she is yet. I also don't think that you're wrong to not want to be only identified by your sex. In "male dominated" fields, it is very difficult for women to garner that respect as a member of the team without slipping into the "one of the boys" trope. However, I do think that Chloe is going about this all wrong, by forcing her friendship on you just because she's a woman, although she's probably feeling alienated by the men in your office because of her transition. I don't know, this one is a whole thing. You're entitled to not want to be friends with anyone, even if you share a gender identity, and Chloe is really bumbling and trying to learn. I empathize both ways. I also think you should be more empathetic of Chloe's challenge to fit in. Remember to be respectful at work, everyone!
The 113th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Anthony Daniels will be the guest on the Phile next Monday.
A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided the next time he did something offensive, they would all stand up and walk out of his class. Sure enough, at the very next class meeting while discussing a tribe of African natives. The professor leered and said, "You'll be interested to know the average tribal warrior there has a cock twelve inches long." The girls all rose in a large mass and headed for the door. The prof sneered and said, "What's your hurry, girls? The next flight to there isn't until Saturday!"
Today's guest is an American blues guitarist and singer whose latest album "Let Go of the Reins" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile...
Me: Hey, J.P., great initials. Welcome to the Phile, man. How are you?
J.P.: I'm doing wonderful, Jason, thank you.
Me: I love your album "Southbound 1-95," which is the one that came out previous to your latest "Let Go of the Reins." I know what I-95 is but some of the readers might not. Wanna tell them?
J.P.: Anybody who has traveled probably has been in Florida at some point. It's one of those lovely drives down through Florida.
Me: Are you from Florida, J.P.?
J.P.: I was born in California, grew up in Arkansas. At the age of 16 he moved to South Florida in 1985, where he has since become his adopted home.
Me: Oh, cool. You're a great blues musician but didn't you start out in metal?
J.P.: Yeah, I used to play in some extreme metal plans. Death metal bands and stuff. I did that for years. Put out CDs, toured, traveled. The last touring I did with them was in 2005.
Me: Okay, so, how did you get into the blues? I'm glad you did.
J.P.: In 1998 I met B.B. King, I was 18-years-old. I won two tickets in a raffle to see B.B. King and I won a guitar in the process as well. There was this music store doing this raffle giving away a guitar and two tickets to see B.B. King, meet him backstage and have him sign the guitar and everything. That like I said was in 1998 and from that point it was like the introduction to the real blues and stuff. My dad and I went and when we left the show my dad said I need to learn to play the blues and stuff. The whole time I was playing metal stuff, learning that stuff I was also learning the blues, going to jams, If I found anybody to play any sort of that style I tried to latch on to them and learn as much as I could.
Me: I met B.B. King outside a hotel in New York City in 2004 and got to see him play live in 2011 or 2012 I think it was. My dad was a huge fan of the blues as you might know. How was playing the blues different from playing death metal? I'm sure a lot as death metal, which I can't stand, is very, very fast opposed to the blues.
J.P.: To me I just look at it as a different feel. It's still music, but it's a different kind of music. It's like comparing a steak dinner to a fish dinner. They both taste really good, they both feel me up when I'm eating them, they're just different things. Like I said I was doing this simultaneously. There was never a vocal point where I said I'm going to switch from this type of music and start playing this kind of music. I was just learning to play the instrument. I'm a self taught musician so I always just tried to learn as much about the instrument as I could. If I hear something and I dig it I'd like to be able to play it. I enjoy all other different kinds of music.
Me: Do you find it's easier to get blues gigs now that you're older than it was to get metal gigs back then?
J.P.: Well, absolutely. One of the thugs I realized, and I realized this when I was 18 when I saw B.B. King, that kind of music, I could see myself playing that kind of music when I'm older. I just turned 50 last year. I turned 51 in January. I said to myself, "You know, when I'm through with that music I could be 65-years-old or 80-years-old playing that stuff." I couldn't imagine myself 60 or 65-years-old out playing the metal stuff. It's funny, now that I am 51 I still like that stuff. I could still feel like I could do it sometimes.
Me: How would you describe the blues to a kid these days you wouldn't know what it is?
J.P.: The blues, to me, is a common man's music. It's for everybody. Everybody could dig it. I could play that for my grandmother. I could play that for my nephew and he'd dig it. But with metal stuff I'm certainly not going to invite my grandparents to come and see a show. They since passed away, my grandparents, but the stuff I do now I would love them to get them see me play that.
Me: When you write the songs do you write with the other two guys in the band or do you write by yourself?
J.P.: I pretty much come up with the stuff myself. I come up with the lyrics myself and I come up with the riff or something. I always record them with my iPhone if I come up with an idea. I save up all these rough ideas. A lot of the time a lot of the songs come from that. Sometimes I'll try something and go back to this part repeat that again, or think maybe it'll need something like this. The other guys have some input but for the most part I write the stuff myself.
Me: Can you imagine if Sunhouse had an iPhone or Robert Johnson?
J.P.: Oh, yeah, sure. It's a great tool to capture something. I learned the hard way. Sometimes I'd pick up the guitar and I'd think this is too good not to remember, I'll remember this. Of course I never remember and play it the same way I did the first time so I at least know if I come up with something grab that phone, hit the voice memo and just capture the idea.
Me: Yeah, my dad would have loved it, the iPhone. So, do you think it's easier to come up with blues lyrics than heavy metal lyrics?
J.P.: Not necessarily, no. It's funny, a lot of times with the metal stuff, you're going to laugh when I tell you, some of the times we would literally need some lyrics for a song. I swear it's funny, but it's true. I'd go grab the freakin' National Enquirer and I'd look at some of the silly stuff in there and I would literally pull stuff from the National Enquirer. People would think, "Oh, my Good, look at these lyrics and stuff." You'd think it was all negative stuff, and maybe it is, but it's all coming from the National Enquirer. You walk by it when you're checking out your groceries.
Me: Ha. Okay, I have to ask you about your cigar box guitar. You only use two strings, what two strings are you using and what are they tuned to?
J.P.: The strings I use are a low E and a G string. I try to get the heaviest gauge I could find. I turn them to a G and a For an F and a F or an E and an E. If it gets any lower than that it gets kind of sloppy. It's hard to keep the tuning right.
Me: Okay, my guitar player readers might understand that. Not me. Haha. I saw this video of you playing the cigar box and there's a Sharpie in the strings on the neck. I'll show the screenshot here.
Me: What's the deal with that? Was that your idea or did you copy someone else?
J.P.: I did, I did. I wish I could say I came up with that. There's a fellow musician down South Florida by the name of Ben Prestage, he does a one man band and he's out of Jensen, Florida I believe. I saw him playing yard ago, and I saw him do that with a Sharpie. I don't think he pulled it out and slipped it in the same song but I was like, whoa, check that out, that's a great idea. And it works perfect.
Me: What's the point of it?
J.P.: Well, I put the Sharpie in there and it capos it up. I've never seen anybody else doing it though.
Me: Ahhh. That makes sense. A few years ago on the Phile I interviewed a guy named Shane Speal, who does a ton of stuff on YouTube with cigar box guitars. Have you heard of him?
J.P.: I think I heard that name. I definitely heard that name.
Me: He has this cigar box museum in western Pennsylvania, I think. It was actually his parents' bar and part of it is a museum and they have love blues there. You should go and check it out.
J.P.: It sounds really neat and fun.
Me: What kind of pickup did you put in it? I'm asking for my guitar playing friends. Haha.
J.P.: The one that I have in the guitar that I've been playing for years is a DiMarzio Super Distortion pickup.
Me: Why that kind?
J.P.: I didn't go out and buy that pickup and say I want to put this pickup in. When we built that thing, or when I built it, that was one of the pickups I had laying around. Actually one of my buddies, a drummer that I used to play with, we still get together and jam now and again, well, he gave me that pickup about ten years ago, right about the time I built that cigar box guitar. So we just threw that one in there. That's the one I ended up using, but I ended up replacing it with a new one because it got so much sweat in there it stopped working. So I replaced it with the same one because my ears got used to with that one.
Me: So, who is one of your favorite guitarists?
J.P.: Eddie Van Halen, man.
Me: When you're playing the blues do you have any blues guitarists you're emulating?
J.P.: Absolutely. I used to try to isolate it when I first got into it because I would back guys up and stuff. When I first started I was really singing, I was backing up the harmonica playing or something like that. I would deliberately try to not let any of that feel and creep into the playing. I would try to keep it as traditional as possible.
Me: Why is that?
J.P.: Because I wanted first ad foremost to do it right. But also to get approval from those guys. I didn't want the guys to think I was some metal guy trying to play blues or something. So I would deliberately abandon that whole side of what I was capable of doing. But eventually I started letting that stuff go for the energy and the feeling of that. I would slip into it and I noticed people would respond. That's when I came to the conclusion myself okay, if I genuinely feeling it in my heart when I'm playing it, I'm feeling it whether it's got that energy or the metal energy or the blues or whatever it might be then someone in the audience is going to feel that too. When I came to that epiphany I said I'm just going to play what I feel.
Me: So, you don't try to emulate anybody?
J.P.: I tried to but it never feels right to me. I could try it all night long but I just don't have the knack for emulating other players. I've got friends that play and it sounds too much like B. B. King. He's playing east note to note solo of the so and so record but I don't really do that brecause 1) know those guys they are trying to emulate a lot of times they're not emulating somebody. Maybe in the beginning but B.B. King sounds like B.B. King. You'll know by the first two notes if it's Albert Collins or B.B. King because they got their own sound and their own style.
Me: J.P., thanks for being on the Phile. I hope you'll come back again soon.
J.P.: I hope so. Thanks, Jason.
That about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guest J.P. Soars. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Ahmed Best, who played Jar Jar Binks. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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