Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you doing? On Thursday night, Miss America contestant Emili McPhail was asked a question about NFL players kneeling during the national anthem in silent protest. If your butthole tightened remembering what happened in the past when pageant contestants are asked even slightly difficult questions... you're not alone. But fortunately for everyone's buttholes, this was her response, "Kneeling during the national anthem is absolutely a right that you have to stand up for what you believe in, and to make the right decision that’s right for you,” McPhail said. She elaborated, saying, "It’s very important that we also have to take into consideration that it is not about kneeling: It is absolutely about police brutality." Her response impressed the judges as well. It garnered her the preliminary onstage question scholarship, a cash prize of $1,000. The 22 year-old beauty queen, representing Virginia, spoke with the Press of Atlantic City after Thursday's competition. "I said standing up for what you believe in is the most important thing that you can do, and that’s what I did. I was very happy to have that moment to be honest, because it’s not always easy." Though her comments predictably sparked a backlash, her feeds have been flooded with messages of support and admiration. Well done, Emili... I'm be rooting for you!
Remember the days when the President of the United States could pronounce the word "anonymous"? Former president Barack Obama made a speech at University of Illinois in Champaign, Illinois, reemerging after the twenty months we endured with our scary new guardian. Private Citizen Obama came out swinging, offering a rallying cry to the #resistance for the upcoming midterm elections, and condemning the toxicity of this so-called conservatism ruling in Washington. "It’s not conservative. It sure isn’t normal. It’s radical. It’s a vision that says the protection of our power and those who back us is all that matters," he said. Obama didn't just call out Republicans as hypocrites for cutting taxes for the rich after a decade of pretending to care about the deficit... he made a call to action, telling Americans that if they don't vote in November, it's only going to get worse. "[If people stop voting] A politics of fear and resentment and retrenchment takes hold and demagogues promise simple fixes to complex problems. No promise to fight for the little guy, even as they cater to the wealthiest and most powerful. No promise to clean up corruption and then plunder away. They start undermining norms that ensure accountability and try to change the rules to entrench their power further. They appeal to racial nationalism that’s barely veiled, if veiled at all. Sound familiar?" It does. It sounds very familiar. Obama also pointed out that the economic growth Trump and his family tweet about started under the last administration, mmmkay? Oh, and he also came forth with the hot take that NAZIS ARE BAD. Many people on the Internet were grateful to hear a speech from a literate president again. Trump, on his end, responded to Obama's condemnation of the Republican party's coddling of white supremacy and the gun lobby with a mature rebuttal: "BORING!!!" Wow. Burn. We get it. It can be exhausting trying to keep up with a constitutional law professor using big words. Let's hope that Trump makes it back to the White House in time for his nap.
When did it occur to you that Donald Trump was a crazy man? Was it when he said he wanted to date his daughter? Tweeted "covfefe"? Put kids in cages? For this dude, it was while Trump was talking at a circlejerk rally in Billings, Montana, and he was standing right behind the president.
Serving as a set piece for the Trump's show, the guy was listening to him rant about the Electoral College (we get it, Donald, you peaked in electoral college), when he went on an epic face journey It's like Jim Halpert from "The Office" meets the classic old meme, Sudden Clarity Clarence. Someone on staff noticed the guy's insubordination, and promptly swapped him out. See?
Apparently he's not the only one who needed an understudy. It also wasn't the guy's only side-eye. He even mouthed "have you?" when Trump insisted "we've picked up a lot of support." As one tweeter noted, this is some real "Hunger Games shit." The guy in the plaid shirt soon became a hashtag, as #plaidshirt became the voice of the nation. Bless you, #Plaidshirt/#Plaidshirtguy. Thank you for being a voice for the voiceless.
The President of the United States' obsession with his own perceived popularity is so cartoonish, he's basically Bugs Bunny dressed as Napoleon at this point. And now it's been confirmed that a government photographer edited some photos of his inauguration crowds after Trump was pissed that not enough people showed up. It's been well documented that Trump and his followers were not happy about the photos from his inauguration. They were upset at the photographic evidence that not a lot of people had shown up for his swearing-in. This especially stung Trump because next to photos of Obama's crowd, Trump looked like a joke. The Guardian obtained documents that show conversations between the National Parks Service (which released crowd photos of the inauguration) and Sean Spicer, Trump's former press secretary (remember him? LOL). Basically, Trump called the National Parks Service director to complain about the photos. But the NPS couldn't retroactively fill the mall with adoring fans of Trump, so what could they really take his request to mean? They figured he wanted them to strategically crop the photos. So the photog cropped and edited the photos. And while it's still unclear whether or not those photos were ever shown to the public, this is at the very least confirmation that our president is a petty crybaby.
At one point in our lives, most of us who drink alcohol have woken up to a phone full of unplanned drunk texts in our "sent" box, an emptied box of delivery pizza and a throbbing hangover. However, most of us don't wake up after a night of drinking to realize we accidentally kidnapped someone else's dog. That is, unless you're the Snapchat user Toni Robinson who woke up after a night on the town with the girls to realize she'd stolen a whole dog (not just part of a dog). She quickly posted the adorable dog on Snapchat and shared the blackout kidnapping with her followers. Apparently, Robinson and her friends came across the dog after a night of drinking and decided to name her "Violet" and take her home with them. At the time, the dog was unleashed and away from home. So, technically they didn't drunkenly steal a dog from its owner so much as passively take it. Perhaps the most hilarious part of the kidnapping is that this isn't the first time. Robinson told The World News that she's now stolen three dogs while drunk. "We shared a bed with the dog, who we later found out was named Princess, and had a deep chat with it on our night out. We didn’t even think about the owners. This is the third time I have kidnapped a dog without realizing. When I woke up I realized what had happened when I heard the dog moving." Once she sobered up the next morning, Robinson was able to locate Princess's actual owners, who had been looking for the runaway dog. Both Princess and the owners are lucky this story ends with a reunion instead of a puppy-skin coat.
So, it's Sunday and some church signs sure wage war on "Christian" bigots.
Not in my house God is probably saying. Maybe. So, I live alone which is good because I would hate to get a note like this...
Hahaha. If I had a TARDIS I would like to go back in time and meet David Bowie. But knowing my luck he'll be with his wife, the model Angie Bowie taking a leisurely stroll with their baby, Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones, and I wouldn't be able to tell which one was David...
How is your kid doing in school? Hopefully better than this kid...
Win. So, some people that picket sure are creative, and might not catch on what's going on...
Have you seen the TV show "The Great British Bake Off"? I haven't yet but might after seeing this...
Hahahaha. Have you seen the new New Balance ad? No? Check it out...
Ha! Why did they censor the word "pussy" though? So, you know who would do a better job as president than Trump? A fucking penguin!
President Penguin meets Chancellor Merkel. Haha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...
Hahahaha. Now from the home town in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Reasons English Is Hard To Learn
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
Donald Trump would really prefer the news comes from named and not anonymous sources... maybe because he can't pronounce the word "anonymous." Trump held a rally in Montana on Thursday, which is totally a normal thing for a sitting president to do! And in addition to telling his supporters that it's their fault if he gets impeached (yes, for real). He attempted to address the fact that an anonymous senior White House official wrote a damning op-ed about his presidency in the New York Times. But he stumbled over the word "anonymous. "The latest act of resistance is an op-ed published in the failing New York Times by an enommus... Really an enomunus, gutless coward," he says in the video. And so, Trump continues the great Republican presidential legacy of being unable to pronounce words with three or more syllables.
Ha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, recently on the Phile I had a few lawyers from the law firm Suetha, Buggerz & Wynn to kinda plug their firm. I had Suetha here and Buggerz, now Wynn wants to come on and say something. So, please welcome to the Phile...
Me: Hello, Wally, welcome to the Phile. You don't look as "seedy" as the other two.
Wally Wynn: That's because I'm not, Jason. Hello, bye the way, to your readers.
Me: That's nice. So, why did you want to be a lawyer, Wally?
Wally Wynn: My father had a precious set of old, inexpensive kitchenware that his late mother gave him before he even married my mother. When the divorce went to mediation and she told the mediator that she wanted those pots and pans, she got them. She got them because she was willing to give up something else of equal monetary value (so, something worth less than $10), and was willing to sit in mediation for hours, racking up thousands in lawyer fees for both sides, until my father consented. Again, an even financial trade, but a sentimental trade of overwhelming disparity. Just as a final "fuck you." That's why I decided to become a lawyer.
Me: Hmmm. Okay. Anything else you want to say?
Wally Wynn: Ummm... nope. That's it. Suetha, Buggerz & Wynn is the best law firm in Central Florida. Give us a call.
Me: Alright. Lawyer Wally Wynn from Suetha, Buggerz & Wynn, everyone.
Hahahaha. That's pretty funny.
It's important to remember that we're all just little bumbling flesh bags struggling to get there (whatever that means).
Alright, so, recently on the Phile a friend came on and talked about something on his mind. He wanted to come back on and say something that he has been thinking about. So, once again it's time for...
LETS TALK ABOUT IT!: No seriously... Let's talk about. I started this first. So the song "Rap Devil" by Machine Gun Kelly is all over the place and had a listen to it. Normally I'm not into this rap diss noise but it seems to be the talk of the town so for old times sake I'll throw my thoughts in what I think about all this! This looks like a Floyd Mayweather versus Conor McGregor situation right now and let me explain why. See Floyd (Eminem) has evolved the game and everything around it to a T and though people don't use that method anymore (because the young kids like shit that you have to decode after months of hearing it), it's still to this day THE STANDARD of what is expected to be seen. Even with his high age (Eminem is fucking 45 man god damn!) still kill's it in his art and element. Conor (MGK) is the underdog that is underground king (so they say but I don't really agree.... fight me....) of hip hop. He likes to do a lot of talking and dissing but at the end of the day he really wants the perks and all the works and thinks everyone that doubts him is a fool. The thing is that in that fight... It was a MASSIVE BLOW OUT and that is what this is looking... a BLOW OUT! I think they're both good in their respective element but there is a saying. "There is a reason you don't see rappers talk about Eminem" and you can take that anyway you want. But the man buries people like John Cena burying talent in the WWE, he destroys lyrics like Trump destroying politics, and he has more respect then anyone else in the game TODAY. "Kamikaze" was a message to whack ass rappers that keep coming out with this HORRIBLE trash that plays on the radio and when he speaks THE WORLD LISTENS. When was the last time MGK was remotely relevant again? What did he bring out that was hot? Oh, some mixtapes that you gotta go online to get? Oh, some featured hits that you gotta follow him to know about? In closing... This diss was cute. I respect MGK for staying underground and doing him. Make his fans happy and providing the goods for the scene around him. But this made me chuckle just because it just looks like a guy swing a twig at a tornado. I look forward to seeing if a response comes from this but just like Danny Glover once said, "I'm getting to old for this shit!"
In the time it took scientists to discover it, let it be a planet for 76 years, take away its planet status, say it might be a planet again, then change their minds, Pluto never made a full orbit around the sun. Due to it taking 248.09 Earth years for Pluto to circle the sun, we won't see it complete an orbit until March 23rd, 2178.
Freddy will the guest on the Phile tomorrow.
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her simply to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."
This is pretty cool... today's pheatured guest is an American musician, best known as being the longtime bassist for Earth, Wind & Fire. Their last album "Now, Then & Forever" which came out in 2013 is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Verdine White.
Me: Hey, Verdine, welcome to the Phile, sir. How are you?
Verdine: I'm good, Jason.
Me: You are the last original member of the band, as your brother Maurice passed away. Are you in charge of the band now, sir, or is it a democracy?
Verdine: Yeah, the one thing about the band is we all work as a team. We all understood Maurice's vision. We all help collaborate. When we started the band we started from the beginning, we all had station wagons and vans and things like that. We have a democracy, with everybody wanting the same thing.
Me: The band has been around for 45 years, which is amazing. What was it like when you guys first started out?
Verdine: When we first started there was a lot going on in the world. We were just basically universal good guys who had a great band and played great music.
Me: You guys have released sooo many albums over the years. Not many bands have stayed together and made as many records as you have. Why do you think you guys have been around for so long?
Verdine: Both. It was a progressive thing with every album and we got better and better and better. After "Open Your Eyes" we sort of made a left turn and just progressed. If you listen to the albums that I don't think there was a group of color that did such a body of work and were consistent. All bands have clunkers and hit and misses, no band has made consistent records.
Me: I have to admit I don't know a lot Earth, Wind & Fire songs. I know "Boogie Wonderland" though. In '79 that song was everywhere... when the next album "Faces" came out in 1980 was it hard to complete with the success of "I Am," the album before it?
Verdine: Not at all. It was hard though coming out with a record after "I Am," it's like coming off after "Thriller." When Michael Jackson did "Bad" he only sold 10 million and there was a lot of great songs on that record. Also, it was the culture that was going on at the time. A year later we came out with "Let's Groove" which reached number 3.
Me: Oh. I know that one. Haha. So, I am sorry your brother Maurice passed away, sir. What can you tell us about him?
Verdine: We have to thank him for his vision that he had really was superb, spot on and all the gifts that he was given by the Universe and by God. Even as a person he was a cool person. You got to be kind cool to make good music, man.
Me: He got to write a book called "My Life With Earth, Wind & Fire." What can you tell us about the book?
Verdine: It's about Maurice's life and it was written by the person who created Earth, Wind & Fire. I've given them out as gifts, not just to the band but the staff. I make it required reading so that they know exactly what they're involved in and what we did.
Me: I can't believe I just found out you produced Level 42, one of my favorite bands from the 80s. How did a band like Level 42 get you as their producer?
Verdine: I saw them in London at Wembley years ago, they came to the show and we talked about me working with them. It was one of the best projects I ever worked on.
Me: "Living It Up (The Sun Goes Down)" sounds so much like a Earth, Wind & Fire song now I think of it. What was it like working with them?
Verdine: We did most of the recording Maurice's studio and all the pre-production work in London. We took the Concord over when there was a Concord, shows you how long ago that was. It was great.
Me: I'd love to get Mark King on the Phile, You probably haven't seen them in years though, right?
Verdine: I saw Mark King last year in Prague, and Mike Lindup as well. You should interview them both.
Me: When you had hit records, sir, how did your life change?
Verdine: I didn't change that much. I got up and went to work every day like before. We traveled more and had more obligations but our lives didn't change that much, it shouldn't, not really. If I had a life I wanted to keep that life I had, it expanded but didn't change. I think you ask that question because in today's world you've probably seen drastic changes.
Me: Okay... so, when Maurice passed away in 2016 did you think the band was gonna end?
Verdine: No, it's never going to end first of all. That question doesn't apply to us, our music will be around forever as long as I want to. It would've by now but we released "Now, Then & Forever" since without Maurice, and the "Holiday" album. You have to look at the law of averages, we would of ended by now. Once we got past a certain time we are part of the Universe and part of people's lives.
Me: Okay, so, why the kalimba? That's an odd instrument, right?
Verdine: That's Maurice. He was the one that brought the kalimba to the music business. He started it when he played with Ramsey Lewis, he was a drummer. He used to do a kalimba solo and he brought it to Earth, Wind & Fire.
Me: What was your favorite record to make?
Verdine: "All 'n All," but it was a very difficult record to make. We made another switch if you look at it, it as a totally different record than "Spirit," the previous record. This was more than a switch than "Open Your Eyes" was. We did three albums back to back, "All 'n All" and "Earth, Wind & Fire's Greatest Hits." and "I Am." We actually finished one record and started another. There was no pause.
Me: Most bands back then did the same thing... I know Foghat did. Tour, record album, tour, record album, tour... So, is there a favorite song or bass part that is your favorite?
Verdine: I never thought of it like that. That's not the way to think about music.
Me: You guys have played sooo many shows in so many cool venues... Madison Square Garden, Epcot... what are some of your favorite and more memorable shows you have done over the years?
Verdine: Well, there's been so many... the recent appearance at Dodgers Stadium, Madison Square Garden... this year we did the Rose Parade out in Los Angeles. That was a memorable experience because we were in the parade for two hours. Seven hundred and fifty million people watched, then the next morning we were on the cover of the L.A. Times. There's a lot of things we have done in the past, but you have to ask about the present as well.
Me: Okay, so, when you play shows today do you find audiences multi generational.
Verdine: It's everybody. I think what's surprising about it there's people from different ages. Don't think we have an older audience because we've been around or we have a black audience because we're black. It's a multi-cultural people thing.
Me: Are there plans for any new music? Your last album "Now, Then & Forever" came out in 2013.
Verdine: We are thinking about it. The last new thing we did is the Trolls soundtrack with Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick... we did "September."
Me: I know that one. Haha. So, do you still like touring, Verdine?
Verdine: Oh, yeah, its great. The fact that we still play in front of great crowds of all ages. That's a very journalist question. When people interview us they have to be aware of our music and keep up with our careers too. Have you ever seen us in concert?
Me: Nope. It's funny, you guys have played Epcot a lot and I worked there for twenty-three years, at Disney World for thirty and I didn't see you. Wait, I might walked past once and saw a fragment. How do you play the bass so well and dance around at the same time? Is that hard?
Verdine: No, it's not hard.
Me: Okay. What bands are you into?
Verdine: God, there are so many.
Me: Okay. Hey... "That's the Way of the World." I know that song as well. That's a great record, right?
Verdine: It was on a soundtrack and a big break through for us. There was "Shining Star," you know that one?
Me: Yeah. Of course! Verdine, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back again soon. I hope this was fun.
Verdine: Thanks, and see us live before we do another interview.
Me: Haha. Okay.
Ha! I don't think he enjoyed this interview. That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Cadence Hall and the great Verdine White. The Phile will be back tomorrow with Freddy "Boom Boom" Cannon. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker
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