Hello, dorkness, my old friend. Ha. Hey, there, welcome to the Phile for a Sunday. How are you? If you've ever felt overcome by such a pure hot rage, that you wanted to destroy everything Donald Trump-related with a pickaxe, you are certainly not alone. As of last Tuesday, Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was thoroughly demolished by a man with a guitar case, strong convictions, and a wieldy pickaxe. The Los Angeles Police told The Hollywood Reporter they received a call about the destruction around 330 a.m., but the man had fled the scene by the time they arrived. "Multiple people... including police... tell me a man walked up with a guitar case and pulled out the pickaxe. Then, it’s believed, he called police himself to report it, but left the scene before they got here. Now, he’s nowhere to be found," wrote the NBCLA reporter Jonathon Gonzalez. However, a few hours later, around 6 a.m., police confirmed that the 25-year-old male suspect was in their custody. Twitter has fully exploded over the news, given the fact that many of us spiritually identify with the act of smashing Trump's star. This isn't the first time Trump's star was destroyed or vandalized by those expressing dissent. Back in 2016, 53-year-old James Lambert Otis was videotaped destroying the star with a jackhammer and pickaxe. If the star is reconstructed, which I unfortunately suspect it will be, I have a feeling this won't be the last time it's destroyed.
The Gossip Girl of Washington, DC (also known as Politico Playbook) spotted special counsel Robert Mueller III and "special" son Donald Trump Jr. waiting at the same gate at Reagan Airport. It's a more uncomfortable traveling experience than every other travel experience.
Awkward is an understatement. This is a scene out of Catch Me If You Can. Haters will say it's Photoshopped, but here is Don Jr. on the plane wearing the same (bad) outfit...
In boasting that the American economy is roaring, the White House demonstrated that it may be working for everyone but copy-editors. The nation's finest minds, serving the country in its executive branch, proudly reported to the people of the United Sates of America that the economy is growing. Yes, the people of the United Sates.
It's no surprise that the Donald J. Trump White House is as careless with the English language as Donald J. Trump, but it's still wild to see such stupidity in an official capacity. The tweet was up for hours, and people from all over the Sates laughed and/or bashed their heads on their desks. The White House is no stranger to clerical errors. They caused an international incident back in May by issuing a statement statement saying that the country "has a robust, clandestine nuclear weapons program," casually accusing them of violating the Iran nuclear agreement (which they later pulled out of). Trump also insisted that when he appeared to siding with Vladimir Putin over American intelligence agencies he had simply misspoken rather than commit treason. Is it all part of a wicked scheme? Is it too much to ask that the people running the country know how to spell its name? This all begs the question: does the White House even know how to spell U.S.A.? God bless the United Sates.
Last week, Fox News announced that The Five host Kimberly Guilfoyle would be leaving the network after 12 years to serve as vice chairwoman of America First Action, a pro-Trump super PAC. But new information has come to light that says that Guilfoyle did not leave her gig at Fox voluntarily. According to the Huffington Post, Guilfoyle was fired from Fox News after she was put under investigation for allegations of inappropriate behavior, including sexual misconduct. Now dating Don Jr. will be the second worst thing she's known for. According an an exclusive from the Huffington Post, multiple sources have stepped forward and accused Guilfoyle of showing personal photographs of male genitalia to coworkers (and identifying whose genitals they were), discussing sexual matters at work, and engaging in emotionally abusive behavior toward hair and makeup artists and support staff. The Daily Beast also reported that Guilfoyle was using network makeup artists for personal outings. Guilfoyle’s attorney, John Singer, wrote the following statement following the accusations:, "Any accusations of Kimberly engaging in inappropriate work-place conduct are unequivocally baseless and have been viciously made by disgruntled and self-interested employees. During her lengthy and decorated tenure with the company, Kimberly was beloved, well-respected, and supportive of anyone she ever met. It’s utterly preposterous that there are those who are nefariously and greedily twisting innocent conversations amongst close friends into much more than what it actually was for financial gain. Kimberly has happily moved onto the next chapter of her life and hopes others will do the same." Guilfoyle has been with Fox News since 2006, serving as a legal analyst and host. At first, the network framed Guilfoyle's departure as her decision, but multiple sources claimed that she was let go following a human resources investigation that began in 2017. Sources also revealed that Guilfoyle was set to depart much earlier, but prolonged her gig at Fox by appealing to Rupert Murdoch, the executive chairman of 21st Century Fox, who let her stay at the network.
When 40-year-old Dana Carter, of Dayton, Ohio was running late for a flight, he called Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport to say that there was a bomb on board a plane heading for Dallas, Texas. According to the Associated Press, the flight was canceled due to the threat, and Carter got on a plane two hours later. He's been ordered to pay United Airlines $7,700 in restitution and has been sentenced to four months in prison, where he's sure to learn how to be punctual. No excuse is the bomb.
You know the TV show "Full House"? well, there was a series of "Full House" kids novels back in the day and one sure had an interesting title...
Haha. Do you remember Cory from the TV show "Cory in the House"? I don't, but this is Cory now...
Feel old yet? Hahahaha. You know, if there is a God some people just sway too far from his light...
When I first started the Phile I used to show pics that looked photoshopped but are real. I'm still fascinated by pics like that. Like this one of two bullets really collided with each other in mid-air...
Cool, right? If I had a time machine I would go back in time to meet Michael Jackson in the 70s. Knowing my luck his sister Janet would be there as well and I wouldn't be able to tell them apart...
Yeah, I'd be able to tell them apart. Haha. So, people have told me at Walmart I might see some crazy sights. I didn't believe it until I saw...
Hey, so, looks like Geoffrey the Giraffe has been busy lately...
Oh, man. That's sad. When Trump went to England a few weeks ago Londoners were ruthless with their anti-Trump signs...
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. That's brilliant! There's still Royal Wedding souvenirs available if you're interested. Like this "handy" book of word searches and puzzles.
Nothing's more romantic than word searches and puzzles! Remember the Garbage Pail Kids? There's a new series out and here's one of the cards...
So, I mentioned at the top of this entry someone destroyed Donald Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Well, there's a pic of the guy that did it...
Ha. He looks so joyous. There's one thing I really think that is funny and that's old people wearing inappropriate t-shirts.
Ha. Hey, so, today's guest as I'm sure you know is Paul Simon. Well, there's a certain record out that I wonder if he's aware about...
Hahaha. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
5. If we all pray hard enough we can make Mamma Mia the Fast and the Furious franchise of musicals.
4. Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again currently has a higher rotten tomatoes score than Infinity War. Thanos is strong but Cher is stronger.
3. The most unbelievable thing about Mamma Mia 2... a truly bonkers movie... is that three women would keep the same exact haircuts for forty years.
2. If you think I would happily watch Amanda Seyfried, Meryl Streep, Lily James, and whoever they cast as Sophie’s grown up daughter sing Abba songs for the rest of my life you’re absolutely right.
And the number one thing heard at a Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again screening was...
1. Fuck Meryl Streep for thinking she can just waltz into Mamma Mia 2 for five minutes at the very end and make me sob in a crowded movie theater.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It's not a very good one I know. They can't all be good. Okay, iPhones are great. Most of us would die without one. But there are some people who've mastered the art of turning one of mankind's greatest achievements a torture device. This pheature is for you...
Sticking with the default “Marimba” ringtone. Next time you’re in public and you hear “Marimba” blasting out of someone’s purse or pocket, look around, you’ll probably see five other people grab for their phones. Why? Because nobody bothers to change their ringtone from its default setting.
You don't have to be British to laugh at this but it'll probably help...
Hahaha. That's almost funny. Translated into American... taking an Asda bag for life into Target because you're a risky bastard that can't be tamed. You're welcome. Okay, so, a friend of the Phile feels real passionate about something and wanted to come on here and talk about it. Why not? You know it's gonna be bloody entertaining. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...
Good morning, humans. Some sound advice for one and all... aka, useful shit I’ve picked up along the way... OR as I like to call it... Laird’s Helpful Hints On How Not To Be A Total Asshole. If you’re married or in a committed relationship, don’t cheat. (it’s a waste of everyone’s time and effort and always ends badly). If you think you’re a cheater, don’t get married. It’s not fair to the other person and you have enough trouble remembering the truth... let alone the lies). When somebody gets you angry try defusing it, instead of throwing fuel into it. (Consider the other person may just be having a really bad day and what they’re doing or saying has nothing to do with you). Just be honest about how you feel. (Life’s short and things left unsaid, go unknown). Know your own worth in your world and everyone else’s. (Never allow yourself to be put in the “markdown rack”). Do your best at every job and task put before you. (Screw it... you’re stuck doing it anyway... might as well show the world how you fucking shine). Treat others with respect as you would expect towards you (until they prove themselves unworthy of it). Be satisfied and grateful for what you already have (there are those with nothing who envy your current inventory). Never strike out in anger (defend only when attacked physically). Put more effort into coming up with results instead of excuses (you’ll find you accomplish far more). Take five minutes of your day, everyday and perform a random act of kindness for a total stranger (you piss and moan about the world being a harsh place... fuck you, do something about it). Always remember... there’s far more to the world than just your opinion of it. (Everyone has their thoughts and feelings, not all of them will mesh with yours). Stop trying to change people (worry about your shit, their shit belongs to them... not you). Don’t blame others when you fuck up. Own that shit. (No one buys your little smoke and mirrors show). Never let someone else dictate your point of view. (Jesus Flippin’ Christ, man... they’re your fuckin’ eyes... open ‘em and use ‘em). Treat your children with the same reverence you treat your fucking phone. (If I have to quantify THAT little pearl of wisdom for you, you’re a moron and shouldn’t be allowed to breed anyway). Treat your elders with respect. (They were shaping this world when you were still digging in your diapers for shit to smear on your face). Remember that you are no more or less unique than the person next to you. (The moment you think you’re special, you begin to feel entitled... news flash... you’re not). Listen as much as you talk and more than you think. (Absorb and process what the other person is trying to say... instead of formulating what you’re going to say next). Remember that no one is perfect... not even you. (Last time a perfect person walked this earth, they nailed him to a cross for his trouble). Stop thinking so much (let life happen... worry gets you nowhere and solves nothing). Make someone smile each day. (There’s plenty of miserable cunts out there... why add to their ranks?). Never argue over politics. (No one agrees, no one convinces others, nothing ends well... ever). Take this all at face value or you can take it and shove it up your ass.
Haha. Now for a pheature called...
George R.R. Martin was the first person ever to buy a ticket for ComicCon. In 1964, the future Game of Thrones author attended the world's first ComicCon, and he also bought the very first ticket... making him the very first person to ever pay admission for a comic convention.
Michael Cohen... welcome to the resistance. Hot off his tape proving that Donald Trump knew about the Karen McDougal payoff in advance... which is likely a campaign finance violation... it was reported that the former Trump family lapdog is prepared to testify with some damning tea in the Mueller investigation. On Thursday night, CNN reported that Cohen claimed that Trump knew about Don Jr.'s meeting with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer in Trump Tower in 2016 (the O.G. Treason Summit). In attempting to refute the claims, the president's lawyer, Barry Zuckerkorn Rudy Giuliani, said that he talked to witnesses to the Trump-Cohen conversation about the Trump Tower meeting, and it was, um, it was not about the Trump Tower meeting (?). Congressman Adam Schiff pointed out just how big a deal this is in the timeline of a criminal conspiracy and its coverup. Advertising People pointed out that there's a zero percent chance that Don Jr. wouldn't have bragged about the meeting to his dad in an attempt to get his love. Cohen is right, this also means that Don Jr. perjured himself in his testimony to Congress. Perjury is a crime... a crime that got Bill Clinton impeached. It also means that the president was in on the cover up, which is also a crime called obstruction of justice... a crime that Bill Clinton was impeached for. If you don't think Cohen is a reliable narrator, check out the clip from June 2016 which strongly suggests that Trump knew that some dirt on Hillary was coming. Is Michael Cohen now the hero Gotham needs? Alas, Trump denies that he knew about the meeting in advance. Hey Don Jr., what does the bottom of the bus look like?
The 84th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
John Carter Cash will be on the Phile in a few weeks.
Why was Sunday mass canceled? Nun showed up.
I'm so thrilled and excited about this... today's pheatured guest is an American singer-songwriter and actor. Simon's musical career has spanned seven decades, with his fame and commercial success beginning as half of the duo Simon & Garfunkel. In 2016, Simon released his 13th solo album, "Stranger to Stranger," which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Album Chart and the U.K. charts. Please welcome to the Phile, the fantastic... Paul Simon!
Me: Wow! Hey, sir, I cannot believe you are on the Phile. How are you?
Paul: I'm good. Happy to be here.
Me: Everyone on the planet knows you're from New York, but what part exactly?
Paul: I was actually born in Newark, New Jersey but raised in the borough of Queens in New York.
Me: So, I love your latest album "Stranger to Stranger," sir. It opens with a song called "The Werewolf." Why that creature or monster?
Paul: Because the opening twangy sound that starts the sound sounded like it. The sound expired the lyric. That title. That instrument is called a "twanger," what we used to call it. It's actually an Indian instrument. It has one string and a little gord at the bottom and there are two slats of wood that surrounds the string. You can press those in or pull them out and change the tone which is where you get that twang. I don't know if that gives you any clarity at all. It's called a gopichand I think. Here's a picture of it.
Me: Cool. So, one of my favorite songs on the album is "Street Angel." That sound must of been fun to write, sir. How did you come up with that song?
Paul: "Street Angel" comes from the end drum part of "Cool Papa Bell." We took those drums, made a drum track, then took a gospel recording from 1939 that was in one key that wasn't the key I wanted it to be in. We kept lowering it and lowering it or slowing it down til it go to be in the right key. Then flipped it around backwards and the sounds that came out sounded like what the lyrics are. It sounded something like "street angel" or "ambulance" or "I give it away." All of those sounds I just entered into a dialogue with the backwards sounds. The only set piece in that song is "God goes fishing." I hadn't written and was in my notebook. I was looking for a place to put that, is I inserted that. Otherwise it's me reacting to the sounds that are coming at me. It's a very enjoyable way of writing because it forces me to think in a way I wouldn't normally think. I'm reacting to stimuli instead of using the information I have inside and I end to use all time. The more outside information the better.
Me: So, do you ever write a song with the chords and melody first?
Paul: Sometimes it's chords and melody with a guitar piece like "Insomniacs Lullaby," I wrote that with as a guitar and found a way of singing over it. Sometimes it's just a rhythm track like "The Riverbank" is just these handclaps and a cahone which is like a wooden drum and a framed drum that make that rhythm. Then a song like "Wristband" that is the first chorus of "The Riverbank" I took the exact some claps, the exact same bass part, sped it up a little bit, changed the key and made it just the bass and the claps. The idea that I could reference parts of the record that I was already working on was sort of a new idea to me. I thought it's a nice idea because it creates a unity of sound among a group of songs that are really quite different what they have to say. There's no lyrical theme to the album, it's just the usual randomness of what's on my mind. What's on my mind has been the same forever. Love and what's going on in the culture, little bit of politics, what's funny, whatever it odd. Getting a piece of information that's musical is really helpful. Like if I said to you give me title and you said "the werewolf is coming," I would think, nah, I don't know. But if I hear an instrument that sounds like the werewolf I think that's great, because if I don't sing the werewolf then the instrument will sing the werewolf. If you take all those low voices on "Street Angel, " it's stimulating to do that, it's really fun. I don't know where it's going, so I get a chance to react like a counter-punch. It's a fun way of wring and it's a helpful way of writing after having spent 50 years writing songs, I'm well passed the well that's run dry. I'm really looking for another well.
Me: You have lots of unusual instruments on the album. How did you know and learn about them?
Paul: Like the instrument that begins "The Werewolf" there's a store in New York called Music Inn, it's down in the Village, they have a lot of unusual instruments and things, like percussion instruments, African metal instruments which I like. I have known that store forever, from back in the folk days. I was in there and maybe the guy who owned it said, "Ever hear this instrument?" or I said, "What's this sound like?" Twang! "Okay, give me a couple of those." I go searching. When Mark Stewart who is in my band travels he goes searching for music stores all over the world and he'll pick up stuff and sometimes I say that's really good, I'm taking it from you. Some bottle cap clicker that's great.
Me: What are some of the unusual instruments you have on this album?
Paul: Most of the unusual instruments on the album are Harry Partch instruments which are very sophisticated instruments that are microtonally tuned. Meaning Partch, who is an American composer that lived from the early 20th century and died somewhere in the mid 70s. He believed that a scale was not twelve tones and an octave, but that it was 43 tones. That's the way he heard it and in order to compose music that he heard in 43 tones he had to invent an instrument that could play 43 tones. So he did. There are keyboard instruments that play these little microtonal changes, he has a set of instruments called cloud-chamber bowls that are just big glass bowls but they're tuned in a certain way. He has several marimbas... the instrument is huge, you will feel like you're in some musical fairy tale. You got to climb up steps to play these marimbas they are so big. One of the other instruments was called a zoomoozophone, which wasn't a Partch instrument, but was invented by a musician named Dean Drummond who played with Partch. That was something like a xylophone but with metal tubes and was about eight feet long and so we got this huge extension of a thought, because the notes are divided into 43 divisions instead of 12 so extended to eight feet to express what normally would be a xylophone, which is what... two and a half feet. Those are the most unusual instruments that I used. The others come from musicians like the rhythmic stuff is flamenco musicians, how they clap and how they dance. We miked the dancing and that creates not just an unusual sound because hand clapping is not that unusual but they way they clap is unusual because they clap in different tones. If you clapped your hands flat together you'll have a click. If you left a little space in it you'll have like a clump. They'll change tones and they're playing from an old musical tradition that is very sophisticated and if I incorporate that into an old American blues tradition it might turn out to be something that sounds old and new at the same time. That's very pleasurable. For some reason we really like things that sound old and new. The same at looking at things, we like it if it looks old and new. I don't know what that pleasure is but it's definitely a pleasure.
Me: I always loved your voice, so soft and most of the time it's like you're not singing, but talking. That's a compliment. Do you ever experiment with your voice as well?
Paul: I didn't have to experiment so much with it because it was a natural thing that I was doing.
Me: I have to mention the song "Wristband." I laughed at the title because I work at Disney World and we have a thing called MagicBands which is like a wristband. Where did idea and song come from?
Paul: Well, I had the title "Wristband" and I was having dinner with a friend of mine, poet Paul Muldoon, he's an Irish poet, well, he lives in America now. I said, "I have this title, I don't know if I'm gonna use it, I don't know what to do with it. It's called 'Wristband.'" He said, "Don't throw that away. That's a great title. You can go in a lot of directions with 'Wristband.'" I said,"Okay, I'll keep it." As I chopped up the bass part of "The Riverbank," what I did with "The Riverbank" was tell the bass player to play the exact rhythm of the frame drum player. The frame drum plater would be playing the drum pattern. While it was difficult for a bass player to play that whole thing so I said let's just chop that up into six or eight notes or something and we'll make a loop out of that and we'll keep playing it over and over again, he'll have it memorized and he'll lock right in and when he did then we went to the next two bars. Every once in awhile those phrases were so cool to me, that's like a really interesting montuno. I didn't use it. I had that thought and put it away but "The Riverbank" was the second song I recorded for the album, so that goes back years and "Wristband" is one of the last songs that I did so it was a couple of yers between fixing "The Riverbank" correctly and saying let's take those montunos out and see what that sounds like. What I found out with this album was that once I began to understand what the sound of the whole album was the process sped up like "Wristband," that was quick compared to "The Riverbank" which took forever to write that song.
Me: I like the story in the song "Wristband." Is that a true story?
Paul: No, it's a made up story. It never happened to me, I can imagine it happening to me and lots of people. Once I finished that story than I remember what my friend said which was, "the title has a lot of implications." I started to think what are the implications. What came to my mind was people just never get a wristband, they never are allowed in. Actually some towns never get allowed in, some countries never get allowed in, so the wristband becomes a metaphor if you pull back from the big picture. It sort of started with "the riot started slowly." It began with that line but in my mind I was thinking it's the riot of people on the line waiting to get into a club. But then it went to the homeless, that happened and I said this is a better, larger subject than the club. We are past the club, we don't need the club anymore. I've done that before. In "Graceland" I looked to a distant constellation, I pull back and look at the same thing I've been looking at with a greater distance and it becomes something else. Or I zoom in and it's not that I was talking about at first, it's a tiny group of atoms and crystals. So it's just a way of looking at subject matter and it's helpful in songwriting.
Me: What was the last song you wrote for the album?
Paul: "In a Parade" which is also some rhythmic thing I courted and discarded and now turned around.
Me: The album has a character that shows up in a few of the songs, right?
Paul: It has the "street angel." In the "Street Angel" song he's like a spiritual visionary, at least he sees himself that way. "I make my words for the universe, I write my rhymes for the universities." "In A Parade" he's been treated in an ER room and some of those lines are actually schizophrenic, like "can't talk now, I'm in a parade." The mind when you unhinge it what it does it comes up with connections that I don't normally make, and some of those just seem brilliant.
Me: Do you come up with lines and stuff and write them down in a notebook?
Paul: Only if they're good. I think it's in "The Werewolf." I was coming out of a building and one guy was saying to I guess his boss, "Well, if you don't get all the nuggests do you want extra fires?" Something about that stayed with me. The idea for compensating for your lack of nuggets by having extra fries at McDonald's was so funny to me. That found its way into "The Werewolf." They eat up all the nuggets and they eat extra fries. If I hear something that seems really funny or good then I use it.
Me: So, what comes first, lyrics or music for you?
Paul: Lyrics come right at the end.
Me: Do you write a shit load of songs for a record and pick the best ones?
Paul: No, I write until I have enough for the record and then I stop.
Me: Do you spend a lot of time writing?
Paul: The whole process usually takes me a little more than three years. The writing keeps going on I'll write a song, sing it, keep it for six months to a year and say that melody, that's not the best choice of melody for those lyrics. It shouldn't all be on one note, it shouldn't have too much of a visual image, or melodic. These are things I accumulated over a lifetime. My mind says the ear goes to the ear of the irritant.
Me: Why does it take you so long, sir?
Paul: Because there's so many little decisions that I'm changing.
Me: Ahhh. Okay, so, I can't believe you said "motherfucker" on the album, sir. I was shocked. Haha. Am I the only one?
Paul: Maybe. It's not a word you expect me to say. I must of sang that line a hundred times. It's not a word that's in my normal speaking. I'm not a person who ever says a curse word. I don't say that word. But because there's sort of joke to it I have to do it again and again like an actor til I found the take that I said, "Okay, I get the joke with this now." The vocals also get done a lot because if I want to say something that as either humor or irony in it, if I don't deliver the line properly it's not funny or ironic. In order to deliver it properly I have to sort of be an actor and I'm not really an actor. As a singer I have a certain voice and it has a quality and it's funny. It's better with sincerity or rhythm. But to say a line in a deadpan way that's meant to be the opposite of what I say requires a certain delivery. Certain singers are just brilliant at it like Randy Newman can make you laugh out loud. It's very hard to deliver a funny line of you're not naturally funny. So, that's another reason I'll stay with something and say the line is right but I'm not delivering it right, it's not doing what it's supposed to do. If it's not doing what it's supposed to do it makes the line that follows it not do what it's supposed to do. It's like a whole chain of mistakes because I didn't set it up right and, and just to set it up right I have to sing "motherfucker" over and over again.
Me: Out of all your albums and songs you have written and sang, sir, what is your favorite?
Paul: "Graceland." I love that song. There's something about it has a life to it.
Me: So, you have done this kind of music for awhile, sir, are you gonna be doing folky or rock stuff in the future?
Paul: Not sure. If I had to begin today I wouldn't know what to do. For whatever reason I'm very fortunate that my voice did not deteriorate as my chronology would dictate it didn't. I get a lot of pleasure out of singing but I can't sing more than three shows week. Past that my voice would not sound good.
Me: You're on your final tour, what made you make that decision?
Paul: For decades, I have been singing "Homeward bound, I wish I was homeward bound"... and now that wish is finally coming true. After five decades in the music business, I thought it was a good time to retire.
Me: Well, I hope to see you in concert here in Orlando in September. Thank you, Paul, for being on the Phile. I hope you will come back again when your next CD comes out. This was such a thrill. I can't thank you enough. Take care.
Paul: Thank you, you too.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course the great Paul Simon. The Phile will be back tomorrow with singer Brian Howe. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker