Monday, June 18, 2018

Pheaturing Phil Collen From Delta Deep

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Do you like burgers? I do. Burgers can be topped with pretty much anything nowadays... guacamole, peanut butter, aioli... but there is definitely one thing NO one wants to find on their patty. Any guesses? Yesterday, Curtis Mays went out to dinner with his daughter and granddaughter at Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens for Father's Day burgers. May said that during his visit, there was a mix up with his order. He eventually asked for the receipt, and what he saw printed on it almost made him sick. Here is the receipt...

"Please spit in it too," read the receipt. Ewww, that is the second most disturbing thing on there after asking for the burger to be cooked well done! "I ate my burger already, I felt like I was gonna throw up," Mays told ABC 7. He also explained how he confronted the waitress about the receipt but she failed to provide a reasonable explanation. "I asked her 'why would you do this?' And she couldn't explain it. She said she didn't do it, so I as like 'who prints out the receipt?' So she said 'I take it up there and print it myself.'" Mays asked, "So you did it? Why are you lying about it? She just walked off." The waitress was fired immediately. The manager of the restaurant also said that it is very likely that the chef actually spit in Mays' food. And, of course, Mays did get a full refund. "He was saying, 'how can we compensate you?' I was like, 'how can you compensate somebody for spitting on your food? I ate this already," said Mays. Guac may be extra, but unwanted bodily fluids are free. Good to know.
Father's Day was yesterday as you know, and many people marked the occasion by celebrating their dear old dad on social media. However, this holiday can be pretty painful for those who have strained relationships with their fathers. Just ask Brandon Lee, Tommy Lee's son. Instead of celebrating Father's Day with burgers and beers, Brandon celebrated by absolutely dragging his dad all over the Internet for millions of people to see. The drama started on Sunday when the Mötley Crüe drummer uploaded this picture of himself with his father. In the caption of the post, he speaks about how being a dad is "a rollercoaster" and how he's "fucked up many times" but always "bounced back." Well, it didn't take long for Brandon Lee to clap-back at his dad and call him out on his Instagram page. He took a screen shot of Tommy Lee's "Honest Guy" post and added a caption that reads...

Brandon was clearly alluding to that time back in March where he allegedly punched his father in self defense, knocking him out cold. But his, uh, "Father's Day tribute" didn't end there. Brandon Lee then UPLOADED THE VIDEO of his dad laid out on the floor after he punched him! YIKES! It's official, an ugly tie is no longer the worst gift you can get your dad on Father's Day. According to TMZ, Pamela Anderson stands by her son's statement. Tommy Lee left Anderson when their youngest son, Dylan, was only 7-weeks-old.
Normally, something as seemingly inane as a self-reflective Father's Day post wouldn't receive backlash. But we aren't living in a "normal" political moment (not that there ever was one). When House speaker Paul Ryan made a Father's Day post on Twitter claiming children are his highest priority, it rubbed some people the wrong way, most notably, it rubbed singer John Legend the wrong way. "My life changed the day I became a father. Liza, Charlie, and Sam are my highest priority. Wishing all of the dads out there a happy early ‪#FathersDay," Ryan wrote on Saturday. Again, in most scenarios a video like this wouldn't be met with derision. However, it feels deeply tone deaf the current instatement of Trump's zero tolerance policy that has been stripping children from their parents' arms at the US/Mexico border, even when they're legally seeking asylum. Legend wasted no time in pointing out the hypocrisy of Ryan supporting the separation of families while claiming children as a high priority. Legend wrote...

Happy belated Father's Day Paul Ryan, may you and your allies promptly find a swift one-way ticked to hell. Because the rest of us are already living in it.
A new report by the Justice Department's inspector general has given the public new insights into the FBI investigation of Hillary Clinton's emails. Notably, the report reveals ways in which the handling of the email investigation may have helped Trump's rise to public office. On the contrary, Republican claim bias towards Clinton was overt in a series of text messages unearthed. Regardless of which way the potential compass of bias points, one finding in particular inspired what might be the best clap-back of 2018. When the Politico reporter Kyle Cheney tweeted about IG findings indicating Comey's use of a private email server, Clinton was waiting in the wings with the flames. Cheney tweeted...

I'll go ahead and let Clinton's perfect tweet speak for itself...

People on Twitter had no words. Goodbye, we are all deceased.
If you work in the service industry long enough, the odds are you'll eventually serve a celebrity. Naturally, the likelihood of gazing longingly into John Cusack's eyes before serving him his 6 p.m. dinner goes up if you're working at a fine dining restaurant (although even Cusack craves Subway every now and then). Because of this, employees at a brand new installment of a find dining establishment in Belmont, Massachusetts regularly get briefed on celebrity serving etiquette. Even though most restaurants prefer that waitstaff remain calm when dealing with celebrity guests, it's hard to not lose your cool every now and again. This is precisely what happened when the new 19-year-old waitress Sarah Ananian was told the NFL corndog Tom Brady would be making a reservation. She may have made a handful of Snapchat posts in anticipation of the football player's visit to her restaurant. In fact, a few of her equally excited friends and family members may have helped spread those Snapchat stories. Her stories about Tom Brady's dinner plans soon made the Internet rounds, and a crowd of people congregated at the pizza shop across the street. Others, the true die-hards, decided to really roll the dice and dine at the same restaurant as Brady. However, the whole shebang was revealed as a farce when Ananian was called into a staff meeting at work. In the meeting, the manager revealed that Brady didn't have a reservation in the first place. The fictional reservation was all a ruse to test if the employees could keep their cool around celebrities. While Ananian wasn't called out by name, the manager did instruct the employees to lay low next time there's a (real) reservation. Since her job is still (at the time of writing) in tact, Ananian took the opportunity to laugh at herself, and shared the gaffe with her Twitter followers.

A handful of people related to her excitement, and claimed they'd do the same in her shoes. As one Twitter user pointed out, Ananian's Snapchat stories technically helped drive more business to the restaurant. The managers might be onto something, because there's no way their employees are going to forget this training technique.
You know I don't cook, right. Well, I saw this cook book and thought it might help me.

Maybe not. If I had a TARDIS I would go to Texas in the 50s, but knowing my luck I'll end up at these people's house and see a hanging ghost...

Yikes. Math is not my strong suit, and this is something I would have a hard time with...

Oh, Peter. XD you're doing it right. Haha. They say at Walmart there's some weird sights but I never believe it until I see...

Why couldn't it be a topless woman? Then is Walmart. Marvel does a great job matching stunt men with the actors. Check this out...

Ummm... maybe not so much with Loki. Talking about Marvel, did you see the new Spider-Man Pop that just came out?

Hahaha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...

So, there's still a lot of Royal Wedding souvenirs you can get. Like this Nora Ephron-inspired shirt...

High school kids are really killing git with their senior high school year book quotes this year.

Did you see the pic of when Trump and Kim met? It looks familiar...

See? Hey, Burger King just changed it's name! Wot?!

Hahaha. Okay, so, last week I asked you to send in your fight stories and I'll use them for the Phile's Top Phive List. I got so many responses, so thank you. Next Monday's list will be the weirdest things your kids have done. Email them to me at and I'll pick out the 5 best ones. Anyway, from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Phile Reader Phight Stories
5. One summer afternoon during our high school years, I was lounging on the couch watching TV, minding my own business. My brother puts a bagel in the toaster, takes it out, and places both scorching hot bagel halves on my nipples.
4. Drunk In college headed to a concert. Crossing at a crosswalk, a car aggressively pulled up on me and I screamed it was disrespecting me and tried to fight it. Tried to fight a car.
3. I turned around to see some guys, all wearing matching scarves, shoving a friend. Felt like someone needed to point out the scarves, so, thinking quickly, I yelled, “Why doncha go back to scarf town!”
2. I kicked a guy out of my bar because he had previously been banned and managed to sneak back in. Outside, he slipped on some brass knuckles in his pocket and said, “If I’m going to get kicked out, might as well be for something.”
And the number one Phile reader fight story is...
1. I wrote a column in the school newspaper about water polo being a cult and the biggest dude on the water polo team cornered me at a party that night and used my face to put a dent into the hood of a Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. So, my son and I were talking about how we used to watch "Sesame Street" together when he was a little kid. That show sure has changed over the years.

Kermit enjoys throwing rocks off the overpass. Elmo waits for a convertible with the top down.

Betty White is older than sliced bread.

The 82nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Kip will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks. Okay, so, my son and I saw Incredibles 2 yesterday. It was great! A good friend of the Phile saw it as well and I thought it'll be fun to have him review it. He's a singer, patriot and renaissance man. You know what time it is...

Laird’s No Spoiler Movie Review... Incredibles 2. Everyone’s absence for the past 14 years... conveniently explained by one plot point (yet the kids haven’t aged a day in 14 years), Samual L. Jackson doesn’t say mutherfucker even once. Everyone acts as if they don’t remember Jack Jack’s power at the end the first one... Men are all inept and stupid... Women can do anything. Edna Mole still rocks. 9 out of a possible 10.

Phact 1. In Aztec mythology, giving birth was seen as a woman’s battle with the gods to win her child’s life. Mothers who succeeded were celebrated, while women who died in childbirth were thought to become vampiric monsters called Cihuateteo, which stole other women’s children.

Phact 2. A teenager fooled an entire school and its officials by pretending to be the State Senator. He was chauffeured, given a tour, and spoke to the high school students about being involved in politics. They only found out when the real Senator showed up the next month.

Phact 3. In 1963, a man tore down a wall in his house and noticed an enormous and complex tunnel system behind it. He had rediscovered the ancient underground city of Derinkuyu in Turkey.

Phact 4. Margrethe II, the queen of Denmark, felt compelled to draw illustrations for "The Lord of the Rings" in the 70s and sent them to Tolkien himself. He noted her style was quite similar to his own. Her drawings were used as a basis for the illustrations in the Danish translation of the books.

Phact 5. When Elvis was referred to by his nickname “the king” after a concert, he pointed to Fats Domino and said, “No, that’s the real king of rock and roll.”

This is cool. Today's pheatured guest is is an English musician. He is the lead guitarist and former rhythm guitarist for the rock band Def Leppard and guitarist for Delta Deep, whose self-titled album and the new live album and DVD "East Coast Live" are available on iTunes and Amazon. Please welcome to the Phile... Phil Collen.

Me: Hey, Phil, welcome to the Phile, sir. How are you?

Phil: Wonderful, thanks, how are you?

Me: Hanging in there. Okay, so, yesterday I interviewed Joe Satriani and you were just on the G3 tour with him. How did you first meet him?

Phil: I was asked to do the G4 thing with Paul Gilbert, and Warren DeMartini, and we had just a great time. When the G3 tour was booked and became a real thing Joe just asked me if I was up to doing that because again we had so much thing doing all the G4 thing... the seminars, playing together and just jamming together in general. Apparently I brought a different element to it as well. It's slightly different to what normally happens. I come from a band that is very song orientated so it's really cool for me because I get to play guitar doing this and also playing the songs I love to play but in a different context. That's it really, it just broadened the whole thing. Plus I'm a rock guitar player, I like the instrumental guitar playing and not just the hard rock playing. I'm a pure hard rock player so again it's a different element that helps makes things interesting all the time.

Me: When you do the G3 shows are you doing Def Leppard songs, Delta Deep songs or instrumentals?

Phil: A little bit of both actually. We did 37 shows in 38 days, if I sang every night that would kill me. Debbi Blackwell-Cook came out and did some Delta Deep stuff and Forest Robinson played drums the whole tour. Craig Martini is playing bass because Robert DeLeo from Delta Deep had STP stuff coming up so he hasn't around. We changed the set around and I threw some Def Leppard things in but I really liked to do some instrumental stuff as well. I'm a huge fan of 70s fusion stuff like Stanley Clarke... all of that stuff, like Jeff Beck. So I thought it would be nice to throw elements of that in there.

Me: I told Joe that I'm not a big fan of instrumental albums and songs, and neither your two bands do instrumentals. Are you planning on releasing any instrumentals or have you done in the past?

Phil: No. But I've been playing a bunch of them obviously my whole life. I go to play with Jeff Beck a few years ago as well. That was really funny, he said can I come up and sing something so I came up and sung "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder which he wrote for Jeff Beck initially. It ended up being songs as well. I do a bit of both really, I'm totally comfortable doing whatever. I've been so long in the studio so just getting out there, doing instrumentals or not. In the back of my head I'm the record producer as well, and if I'm being indulgent or over-indulgent I want to pull it back a bit and put some arrangements in there as well. I like mixing up and having hybrid anyway.

Me: I mentioned to Joe I remember seeing the "Surfing With the Alien" album in a record store and the cover drew me to it as I am a big comic book fan. Did you ever buy that album or listen to it, Phil? I didn't. Haha.

Phil: Yeah, I did. That was the first time someone who has a rock guitar brought something to a new level really. It crossed over. Some people who weren't necessary rock fans could dig it. They could hum along to the stuff because it's very melodic, which is great what Joe does. I don't think he gets enough respect for that because a lot of guys just go out there and play and it's not memorable. With Joe's stuff it's all themed with melodies and songs. There's no lyrics in there but it hits all the right things so "Surfing With the Alien" was a very unique album. It totally crossed over and was a hit record, and sold well as well. It kicked a lot of boxes that one. You should listen to it.

Me: So, what do you think of Joe? I asked him about you. Haha.

Phil: I think there's a big thing between an artist and a musician. You can be an artist and a full time musician but you are necessary an artist of you are a musician. Joe is both for sure. Just last year after the G4 thing I released a song called "Yo 2 Joe" and Joe played on it. We are actually both playing together. It's out there on iTunes and we played that as well on the tour.

Me: I think you're busier now than you have ever been, with Def Leppard and now Delta Deep, and working with Joe. Am I right, are you busier now, and is hat your intent?

Phil: I'm busier than we've ever been in our lives. We were touring in South America and Mexico touring down there, and we've only been there once before with Def Leppard and I think there's a lot more of opportunities there coming up. A lot of bands disappearing. We have the original line up with Def Leppard, it's been the same for 27 years and we are constantly out there and everyone is up for doing more touring. Everyone is loving it and we got so much better as a band. We are really singing, so it's not samples or stuff like that. We get better as a band all the time and I think that really shows with the audience. People can tell the difference with that and something that is not totally live. Yes, we're definitely busier than we've been for 25 years.

Me: Def Leppard has been doing 80s circuit shows and have been teamed up with other classic rock bands, and now this summer going to tour with Journey, which is weird to me. How does the band decide what tours to do, Phil? What kinda audience is Def Leppard marketed to?

Phil: It's always who is available. Like I said there's less and less bands out there. A lot of these bands go out on these package tours and stuff like that. It's slightly different, we have two albums that went 10 times platinum in the states and there's an elite bunch of bands like Aerosmith would be one. And again, we just toured with them, it was one of the bands we played in South America with. That was killer. Just think there's less and less available and it's pretty obvious who we are gonna tour with. It's a very short list and when it comes to us they ask what do we think. Howard Kaufman, our manager who passed away, was amazing. He said we should tour with these guys this time. He suggested the Kiss tour, which we had a blast on. That was really cool. It's becoming more difficult I got to say.

Me: You guys need to tour with Foghat. You mentioned the diamond albums and when you look at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame you guys should be in it. Do you get pissed off that Def Leppard never gets nominated or don't you care?

Phil: I don't personally. It's like anything else, it's like I shouldn't really read the comments on my Facebook page or Twitter or whatever because I'll be very upset. What's out there is not really relevant in most cases. With something like the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame people are trendy or the people that chose these things makes them look in a certain way. So, yeah, I wouldn't be bothered what anyone thought. The amazing Ian Hunter who used to sing in Mott the Hoople, said a great to me ages ago. He said, "When a man reaches 55 he actually stops worrying what people think about him, or what people say." I thought this was weird, so I asked what did he mean. He said, "Well, you won't care a 22-year-old is judging you because you got this life experience all of a sudden it's irrelevant." The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Grammys, all that stuff, falls in that category. It's great if that happens, if not, it really doesn't matter. It's kinda more fun and more exciting to push myself artistically. That honestly is a huge reward to me. The fact that the band is still touring and there's actually more people coming to the shows. I find it fascinating but the more work we put into it the more we get out of it. Funny it would work out that way. That's really what happens and I think a lot of people stop caring and they stop trying. It's pretty relevant that the more we care the more we show up and make the effort we get more from it. That to me is more important.

Me: It's crazy that Def Leppard is still together and rocking, don't you think? You lost bands members, one had cancer, one lost his arm... and you are still putting out music and touring.

Phil: We were in Mexico City and we were all sitting on the couch backstage and I said, "How many bands do you know that have been together for nearly 40 years could all sit on the same couch backstage before the show and naturally hang out and enjoy talking to each other?" It's like there's not many, especially at that level. That's a blessing as well. There's so many great things that are important.

Me: You guys were supposed to put out a documentary but didn't. What happened with that?

Phil: They said there's a problem, there's no conflict with you guys. There's no arguing, fighting, we weren't shouting at each other, It was all just a bit great because our substance from trying to make great music. It's kinda boring in that kinda respect but that's really what we do. That's why we spent 3 years in the studio trying to make records and stuff, which we've done a number of times.

Me: Why does it take so long or you guys to make an album, Phil?

Phil: We got that down by the way. The last Def Leppard album we did over a year period and went into 3 different occasions and recorded. I just finished producing the new Tesla album. We've done that, and they actually been out on tour with us. We would run backstage before soundchecks or something and we had a half hour... we could do a bass piece today, or whatever it was. That'll be out soon.

Me: How does that keep you interested with working with other artists like with Delta Deep, then working with Def Leppard so it doesn't become stale? Does that makes sense?

Phil: I think I constantly evolve as a human being as well as an artist. I'm just constantly learning things and I love that. It's a learning curve as I look at it. I do have a humble approach if someone could show me something or learn something with playing with somebody or even watching someone. That's a big deal to me, and it still is. I'm still a fan. I love the fact of diversity and there's different ways to approach songs... just life in general because it's definitely the way to go because otherwise it's ego driven and I'm just listening to my own playlist over and over and that would get a bit boring. It's coo to get out there because the more I let in the more I let out. When we travel anywhere I make a point to get out and seeing the city, even if I am just on my own. It's kinda cool to do. That really has an effect on my muse and I read books, I watch movies, and listen to various types of music and it all really helps. I don't have enough time in the day to get out what's in my head... it drives me nuts. I certainly never have any writers block issues.

Me: Apart from being a musician you are a work out nut, am I right? Don't you do kick boxing or something like that?

Phil: Yeah, I just changed out my whole work out regime, I did an injury about 4 years ago from kick boxing. I think I was over training with boxing drills, just hitting stuff way too hard. My tendon and tore off the knuckle, off the bone. I wasn't actually working out, I had my hand on the floor and it just squelched. I had to stitch hot back on, I couldn't play for 6 weeks, that was kind of weird.

Me: Ack! Do you ever get nervous with kick boxing at all, getting hurt and fucking up the whole tour? I would. Haha.

Phil: Yeah, because I don't do that extreme anymore. I just do work outs and before I used to train. There's a huge difference between doing a work out and training. I really hit it hard, not literally but kinda a routine thing. I've been working out with a trainer in L.A. and he's the guy who gets guys ready when they're doing movies, like a super hero or whatever, and there's ways of doing it not hiring myself. I love the idea of basically changing it up all the time. I can remember Rick Savage was cutting a tomato and are were recording an album in Dublin at Joe's house, and he just looked up and the tip of his finger came off and I was like oh my God. He couldn't play for like weeks. It was so easily done. I think there's certain things I know to avoid. When I started doing karate years ago I was doing a spinning kick before I learnt to do all that stuff and I fell over and sprained my ribs. I became more careful after that. I just think I learn to not get into those situations. I try to avoid them. I wouldn't go skiing for that reason but I think I take care of the other thing. Like boxing drills, I'm only hitting light, and not pounding on it so I change it up a little bit. Especially when that happens. 

Me: When you hurt your hand what did you do? Did you still play the guitar?

Phil: It was my left hand and we were just about to start a tour. The funny thing was all the guys that were opening up for us were all like killer guitar players and I kinda limped through this couple of weeks and each time I bent a note with my pinky the knuckle would pop on my second finger and it would sound like I had turrets on the guitar and was playing all these weird notes. By the end of the 3 weeks I was actually okay, I just figured a way around it.

Me: Phil, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again soon and tell the other guys from Def Leppard they need to be on the Phile. Take care.

Phil: Sure will, thanks, Jason. You take care.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Laird Jim and of course Phil Collen. The Phile will kick off summer next Sunday with Will Vinton. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Not if it pleases me. No, you can't stop me, not if it pleases me. - Graham Parker

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