It happened one summer. It happened one time. It happened forever, for a short time. A place for a moment, an end to dream, forever I loved you, forever it seemed. Man, those are some sad lyrics. I'm trying to get Martha Davis, the lead singer from the 80s band The Motels on the Phile. How are you, kids? New York City now offers free pedestrian maps. They are clear, helpful, and easy to read. Every map will even show you how to get to the Ecuadorian Embassy. Americans, according to a new study, hate their jobs. They are unproductive and disengaged. I was hoping to have a joke on this topic but I was unproductive and disengaged. Kanye West said that he considers himself an intellectual. I think he's right. How can you not be when you spend all day surrounded by the Kardashians? Of course you're going to look like an intellectual. Have you kids been watching that new show "Under the Dome" from Stephen King? It is what networks call "an event series." If it's a hit, CBS will put domes in all their shows. It will be "Two and a Half Domes," "Two Broke Domes," "Let's Make a Dome," and "The Domey Awards," hosted by Neil Patrick Dome. The premise of "Under the Dome" is a town in Maine finds itself under a dome and no one knows why. People have criticized Stephen King because he uses the plot of The Simpson's Movie. King says he's never seen that movie. You don't have time to watch movies when you're churning out 50 best-sellers each month. On "Under the Dome," the dome slammed down and a cow gets cut in half. Witnesses described it as terrifying and delicious. To me, this dome slamming down is an allegory for our dependence on social media and how it isolates us from each other. Actually, I made that up. It is about cows getting smooshed by a dome. Despicable Me 2 came out on Friday and supposedly it's filled with those yellow Minions. People love those Minions. In fact, Disney wants to buy the rights to them and already has big plans to use them.
I think that movie is gonna be fantastic! Speaking of movies, Disney revealed a brand new character that is gonna be in the new Star Wars movie, and I have the exclusive. Here it is.
His name is Thai Fighter. LOL. That's so stupid, I love it! Did you see the latest Ad Council poster? This is 100% real... I think. Check it out.
I like it when magazines and certain websites show celebrities before and after make-up photos, don't you? Well, on the Phile I am doing the same thing. Here's the latest.
Scary. Well, summer is here and one thing I like to do in the summer is to go swimming. There are so many interesting pools out there I thought I would show you some of the most phascinating ones. Take this one for instance...
The new Hugh Hefner Sky Villa at the Palms Las Vegas includes this Playboy pool at the top of the tower. The swimming pool is inside and the whirlpool is outside, both with amazing views of the Strip. The swimming pool covers two acres, with a DJ, outdoor concerts, three bars and twenty-seven private cabanas with a 32" flat-screen TV, refrigerator and fan. Can you imagine the amount of semen in this pool? That said, I want to go swimming in it. And now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is today's...
Top Phive Groups Of People Who Went To See The Lone Ranger
5. Terribly lonely park rangers who misread the title.
4. Real Native Americans, hoping to see Johnny Depp's hugely offensive character get blown to pieces.
3. 87 year olds who vaguely kinda remember the original Lone Ranger.
2. People who saw The Social Network and said, "Those Winklevoss twins would make a great Lone Ranger!"
And the number one group of people who went to see The Lone Ranger are..
1. Guys named Tonto.
"Let's do this!" says the Lone Ranger (Armie Hammer) to Tonto (Johnny Depp) as they embark on something big and this-ish. It's 1869, by the way, a time before the wide usage of gung-ho bro-isms like "Let's do this." But no matter, Tonto has his own unusual relationship to language. Depending on his fleeting feelings about stereotypical, condescending portrayals of Native Americans in media, he will utter stuff like, "When you were on the other side [of active, living consciousness during a spirit walk], you spoke of [your female love interest] in your vision," or "Nature is indeed out of balance," or, just as arbitrarily, "Horse dead!" as though the infinitive "to be" were suddenly a tool of white devils. Clearly, just about anything, linguistically speaking, is fair game with Tonto and the fact that he doesn't begin dropping 2 Chainz rhymes is the real mystery of his vocabulary. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's forget about Tonto and LR's adversarial friendship and futuristic chattiness for a moment. Let's talk about the enormous entertainment machine they're trapped inside. They're iconic characters from a bygone era, buried alive and suffocating under the pressures of re-branding and franchise building. They're the vintage square pegs that "the team that brought you Pirates of the Caribbean" are going to sledgehammer into a round hole lined with cash. And since nobody under 50 knows much about them at all, anything can be done to them. And anything is. An ineffectual pawn in his own origin story despite Hammer's earnest striving to fill the big white hat, this Lone Ranger is also infinitely mockable, his bland blondness and stoic do-rightness fair game, as every single new acquaintance quips, "What's with the mask?" On a mission to stop a brewing battle between white settlers, greedy railroad developers and the Comanches, he's thwarted at every turn by his own inexperience, but more so by the film's refusal to take him even half as seriously as, say, Ryan Reynolds in The Green Lantern. This is a problem. Other problems: everything except the production design. It's a money-on-the-screen spectacle of admittedly entertaining and absurdly convoluted Rube Goldberg-inspired action sequences, 19th century railroad cars, saloons and whorehouses that would make Baz Luhrmann tip his 3D hat, and studiously lax personal hygiene make-up effects that turn nearly every person on screen into an alien visitor from Planet Grime. Nearly everything else... that pesky stuff you're supposed to actually care about... is a waste of whatever energy you'll spend watching and listening. There's no life outside the mechanical stunts, no momentum based on character or story, no happiness or joy or excitement, no thrill in discovering that this single do-gooder can save the day with the help of his almost-friend (the miscast Depp as a man who virtually everyone in the film calls a "crazy Injun" even as it pays other-side-of-the-mouth lip service to justice for Native Americans). There's nothing to root for, nothing to push you to the edge of your seat, nothing to think about, nothing to love. It is the most colossal, misguided, dust-choked mess to hit movie screens so far this summer. Let's not do this at all. From 1 to 10, I give it a 7.
I did get a slight chill when they played "The William Tell Overture" though. Okay, now for something different. A Phile Alum wanted to come on here with his own pheature, so I said why not? So, please welcome Phile Alum Robert A. Medeiros with...
Things I Like: Abandoned building, houses & sites, Abba, access, action figures, Herb Albert & The Tijuana Brass, Alcatraz, Alcoa presents "Fantastic Finishes", "All In The Family" (1971-1975), Amoeba Records, analogies, animals, Aqua Marine, architecture, Arkwright, "Arrested Development", Atari 2600, autobiographies, A.W.O.L., A.F.O.L. & A.B.O.L., Barney, Bear Recordings, Beastie Boys, Bee Gees, Berkeley Free Clinic, Beverly Hills Cop, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Black Sabbath, Hal Blaine, body surfing, Boogie Nights, Bradlees, Buck, Cali, "Captain Kangaroo", Casino Arcade in Santa Cruz, CA, celebrity graves, Champion jersey's from the 80's & 90's, Cheap Trick, Chief St. Germaine's "master homey international", Child World, choices, Circus Magazine, Clerks, cloudy & rainy weather, "Coast To Coast AM With George Noory", Cobra Commander, Conquest Of The Planet Of The Apes, Cove Discount, Cuten, C.W.C., Dallas Cowboys, Daredevil (comic book character), DC Comics, Defunct sport leagues (AAFC, ABA, AFL, ASL, CFL, NASL, USFL, WFL, WHA, WTT), Denver Nuggets uniform (1981-1993), depression era glass, Dirty Dancing, disco, documentaries, Earth, Wind & Fire, Ebay, Eden, 80s rap, Electric Football League (E.F.L.), Electric Light Orchestra, El Stumpo, Ins N Outs & The Other Spot, Elton, Alex English, Exodus (not the metal band), Extreme, family, "Family Affair", "Family Guy", Fantastic Comics, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Fishbone, flea markets, Max & Dave Fleischer cartoons, Roosevelt Franklin, Fred, friends, garage sales, Gloria Gaynor, Georgia, "Ghost Adventures", giant squids, Michael G. Hagerty, Harold & Maude, Hartford Whalers, Head, historical site plaques, Hit Parader, Homer's "Odyssey", Houston Astros uniform (1975-1986), Houston Oilers, Ice-T, "Idiocracy", Image Comics, In-N-Out, Billy Joel, Jack Johnson (early 20th century boxer, KABL, "Kids Are People Too", Kenny King, Kiss, Lenny Kravitz (1989-1993), Kungphooey, Kungphooey Comics, labyrinths, La Cheim, Tom Landry, "Late Night With David Letterman" (80's era), Gary Lewis & The Playboys, limes, Little Miss Sunshine, Lobo (comic book character), Loch Ness Monster, Lucy, Barry Manilow, Marketcom sport posters of the 70s & early 80s, Mars Bargainland, Marvel Comics, Odis McKinney, Meco, Mego action figures, ME-TV, Mick, medieval art, midnight, "Mister Roger's Neighborhood", M I White & MCB, Motley Crue, movies that have secret scenes at the end of the credits, M.P.G., Thurman Munson, Eddie Murphy/my family, NBC's "Saturday morning fever is on the rise on NBC" late 70s Saturday morning cartoon programming theme song, New York Rangers, "New Zoo Revue", NFL Action Team Mates action figures made by Pro Sports Marketing in the 70s & early 80s, NFL Films music from the 60s, 70s and 80s with John Facenda's voice, Night Of The Living Dead, 19th century literature, Nirvana, Oakland Invaders, Oakland Raiders, Ray Parker Jr. & Raydio, Park Street Bobcats, PBS's morning and early afternoon "Agency For Instructional Television" programs ("Think About" & others), Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, photography & photo editing, Planet Of The Apes, Princess Ardala, Providence Steamroller, Pulp Fiction, Quarter Football League (Q.F.L.), Ralph, Ramones, Ratt, Robert Reed, Randy Rhoads, Seth Riggs, Rocky (1, 2 & Rocky Balboa), Rodman, Ruff-Ruff, Run-D.M.C, Saigon Kick, Salt, Saltmarsh's, Samantha Jane, Samuel S., San Francisco Giants, Saturday Night Fever, Seattle SuperSonics uniform (1975-1995, Sega Genesis, Semi trucks that honk their horns for me, Serious Seagull, "Sex And The City", Simon & Garfunkel, Slacker (1991), slate gravestones made before 1800, Samantha Smith, Sand Knit jersey's from the 70s & 80s/Sol, Something Wild, Sparks (70s era), Spice Girls, Spice World, Star Store, Starting Lineup action figures by Kenner, Star Wars, Roger Staubach, Stony Curtis, Donna Summer, "Super Friends" Superman (1 & 2), Super Shark, Allan Schwartzberg, Tampa Bay Bandits, Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniform (1976-1996), Tavares, "Taxi", television theme songs from the 60s & 70s, The African Queen, The Bay Area, The Beach Boys, The Beatles, The Bleu Canadians, The Blues Brothers (band & movie), "The Brady Bunch", The Clarences, The Dark Knight, "The Decline Of The Western Civilization" (parts 1 & 2), "The Dick Van Dyke Show", The Dollar Tree at International & 25th in Oakland, CA, The Endless Summer, The Godfather (1 & 2), "The Great Space Coaster", "The Human Comedy" by William Saroyan, "The Mighty Boosh", The Monkees, "The Odd Couple" (tv show), The Peverett Phile, The Phantoms, The Punisher (comic book character), "The Simpsons" (1989-1995), The Steinharts, The Suitcase Clinic, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, The Turkeyheads, The Turtlenecks, The Turtles, "The Walking Dead" (comic book & tv show), The Warriors, The Wrecking Crew, "The Young Ones", "This Week In Baseball" music in opening & ending credits, Thor, Three O'Clock High, "3-2-1 Contact", thrift stores, Topps sports bubblegum cards (50s-80s), Toxic Shock, travel TV shows, "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" by Jules Verne, Terry Tyler, United Kingdom, Village People, Walla Walla Walruses, Washington Park Pirates, Washington State Basketball League (W.S.B.L.), Wayne's World, WBOB, "Welcome Back Kotter" (Travolta era), White Gunn, "WKRP In Cincinnati", Will C. Wood School, Robbie Williams, Woolworth's, World Wrestling Federation (1970s-1990s), W.W.F. wrestling action figures by Hasbro, Xanadu, yard sales, Yeast Infection, Zayre's, Zig Zag (rap group), Zodiac Killer case, Zoltar, "Zombie".
My God, I didn't think that would end. Thank you, Robert. I'm glad he threw the Phile in there. Alright, the 32nd the 33rd artists to be pheatured in the Phile's Art Gallery are known as The Chalk Twins and this is one of their pieces...
The Chalk Twins will be on the Phile a week from today.
Today's pheatured guest is the lead singer for the Canadian band Wildlife whose new CD "On the Heart" is available now on iTunes. They will be appearing next on August 9th at Fredrock Music Festival in Fredericton, Canada. Please welcome back to the Phile... Dean Povinsky.
Dean: I've been really really bad man. Do you have some change? I'm good actually. How are you?
Me: I'm okay. I have to tell you, I love the new album "On the Heart". Where did the name come from?
Dean: I was describing the concepts and direction I really wanted things to go and Tim said the title, saying its like an archaic essay title style from days of yore. ;)
Me: How do you think it compares to your last album "Strike Hard, Young Diamond"?
Dean: I think sonically it's a big improvement. In my opinion they go well together and this one has the feeling of an emotional sequel to the other one.
Me: I have to say congratulations for having your single "Dangerous Times" being iTunes' single of the week. That must be exciting for you guys. Was it?
Dean: Don't know if exciting is the word I'd use. It's was definitely really cool of them to put it up though.
Me: If my bands single was iTunes' anything I'd be excited. You know, it's all due you being on the Phile your success. LOL. Just kidding. Okay, last time you were here you had five members in the band, right? Now there's four. Did you lose somebody?
Dean: Ya, we're in a bit of a transition. Tim left the band before a tour we did in the fall. Our friend Darryl came along and replaced him for that and did a really great job. Thanks Darryl!
Me: I mentioned last time you were here that your band is hard to find when you Google it, as Wildlife means a few other things. Has anybody had trouble finding you on the web?
Dean: Not really. Maybe. People have said that in the past but I think folks have it pretty much figured out.
Me: I noticed you guys are friends with Adam Bentley from The Rest, who has been on the Phile times. Does everybody in Canada know Adam?
Dean: I don't know, but they should!
Me: Do you all tour together, Dean?
Dean: The Rest?
Me: Yeah, Wildlife and The Rest.
Dean: We've played shows together, that's for sure. I love those guys!
Me: Where in Canada are you from and where do you live now?
Dean: I'm from Oshawa, Ontario and I live in Toronto.
Me: You went all the way to Glasgow to form a band, am I right? That seems a long way to go, why go all the way there?
Dean: Um sort of. My friend and I had been playing with a Scottish drummer in Kingston and we went there for a while on his recommendation. I'd been in school for four years in a medium sized town and it seemed like the thing to do.
Me: Was Glasgow a fun place to live?
Dean: Sometimes. It could be fun but also was pretty gloomy.
Me: How long did you live there?
Dean: Ten months I think.
Me: What's the biggest difference to living in Canada to living in Scotland?
Dean: People don't react we'll to silliness there. And it rains all the time there.
Me: Dean, who are your influences musically and who did you listen to growing up?
Dean: As a kid I listened a lot to what my parents liked. Elton John, Billy Joel, The Beatles. The have very diverse music tastes. Then I got into Nirvana and punk music in a major way.
Me: Any cool bands you're into now?
Dean: I'm sure you know way more about cool bands than I do, man...
Me: Maybe. I have to talk about "On the Heart" again. Who did most of the songwriting?
Dean: I covered the main melodies and lyrics and the band shaped the record sonically in a very collaborative way.
Me: Where was the album recorded, Dean?
Dean: At Tarquin Studio in Connecticut by Peter Katis and at the Boiler Room in Brooklyn by Gus Van Go and Werner F.
Me: Are you already planning your next album?
Dean: Maybe in the tiniest way in the back of our heads.
Me: On the album you have a song called "Arrythmia". What does that mean? Is it somebody's name?
Dean: It is the medical term for an irregular heartbeat.
Me: Of course it is! I'm such an idiot. Okay, so, this year on the Phile I am asking random questions, so here is yours... What makes a house a home? What a stupid question.
Dean: Nothing more than a feeling. If it feels like home, it is.
Me: Dean, thanks so much for being back on the Phile. I hope it was fun. Go ahead and plug your website and everything and please come back soon.
Dean: My pleasure. You can visit at wildlifemusic.ca.
Me: "On the Heart" is available now on iTunes.
There you go, that about does it for this entry. Thanks to Robert A. Medeiros and of course Dean Povinsky. The Phile will be back next Sunday with Phile Alum Shanna Delaney from the band Bethesda and on Monday with the artists known as The Chalk Twins. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let alligators and snakes bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Strawberry Blondes Forever!