Hey, kids, welcome to Peverett Phile: Retaliation. How are you? The other day I went to see my urologist and guess what? I am stoned. I have another kidney stone in my left kidney. There's nothing to worry about unless it moves, so if I end this entry quickly, you'll know why. The Associated Press, the largest newsgathering outlet in the world, will no longer use the term "illegal immigrant." That is out. They will now use the phrase "undocumented Democrat." President Obama asked Congress for $100 million to map the human brain. And believe me, if anybody needs a map to find their brain, it’s Congress. Lifetime has canceled the TV show “America's Most Wanted.” Network executives made the decision after realizing the show was still on. This is crazy news... apparently back in the '80s, the lead singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury, once took a disguised Princess Diana to a gay bar. She was wearing a disguise to look like a guy so she wouldn't get noticed. How ironic is this? When they got to the gay bar, she met a bunch of guys dressed up to look like Princess Diana. The women's school district in New Hampshire has officially banned dodge ball because parents complained their kids were being targeted during games which, of course, is the point of dodge ball. The district superintendent says playing dodge ball runs, quote, "counter to what we're trying to accomplish with our anti-bullying plan." If you really want to ban bullying in school, there's only one way to do it. You need to ban children from school. North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. You can see they're stepping it up. In fact, they released 10 more photos of Kim Jong Un looking through binoculars. Last week Justin Bieber had to leave his pet monkey with customs officials in Germany after he entered the country without the right paperwork. Officials told him, "You have to leave your little friend behind. And the monkey said, "Sorry, Justin, I guess you've got to stay." I was in the store the other day and for some reason I was in the Barbie aisle. I was surprised to see what Barbie does nowadays. Take a look...
Cartoons are getting more violent by the day. I thought violence in cartoons was supposed to be toned down. Look at this screen shot of a recent cartoon and tell me what you think, kids.
Poor Tweety Bird. Disney announced they are making a new Hulk movie, and they are getting the makers of Wreck-It Ralph to do it. I'm not that happy about it. Take a look at this...
That looks like it's gonna suck big time. One of the things I love to do in my spare time is to go on Twitter and do searches for certain words. One of those words I type in is Peverett, which happens to be my last name. This is what I found the other day...
I don't know what I think about that, Andrew talking about my dad like that. Weird. Okay, let's see who took a long dirt nap.
Jun 18, 1942 - April 4, 2013
He died with a smile on his face.
When children simulate the brutality of war with G.I. Joe action figures and one of those dolls meets his molded plastic maker, there is no blood. The child in question simply shouts, "YOU'RE DEAD! BECAUSE I SAY!" Then the liberation of Afghanistan can continue as effectively as in real life. And when this movie stab-shoot-crushes its umpteenth digitally processed human and decimates millions as all of London explodes thanks to a space-bomb (in the trailer, relax), there's also no death residue. The movie just yells in your face, "BOOM! MURDERED EVERYBODY! I WIN!" And you move along as it instructs you to move along, swaggering nonchalantly like you're The Rock, who always swaggers nonchalantly after killing somebody. For 100 minutes you're on the same fake-death team. I suppose I could try to tell you what's supposed to be happening in this movie, but that would take up the entire review and, really, you don't care. G.I. Joes are everywhere, retaliating against bad guys, battling the multiple terrorism tentacles of COBRA and along the way to victory there's chaos in Pakistan (bad-good dialogue: "It's not a country it's a riot with a zip code!"), there's a ninja-avalanche, presidential impersonators and kidnapping and torture (more bad-good: "They call it waterboarding but I never get bored") and deep underground prison-caves where guys are kept immobile in isolation water tanks. There's a training getaway sponsored by a blinded RZA (whose acting abilities are the non-existent sort, the kind that I find perversely captivating; I could watch him fail at it for hours and it would only make me like him more), there's Bruce Willis making jokes about his oldness, there's interchangeable young Joes like Adrienne Palicki and whoever those other guys are, there's an old magical healing lady in a secret mountain lair and then, of course, there's the aforementioned space-bomb called Zeus (final bad-good: "Soon the world will cower in the face of Zeus!") that wrecks everybody's chances of finding out what happens on the next season of "Downton Abbey". Most importantly there are weapons. They live in their own lovingly designed hiding places and they obliterate all human activity, even when the humans are, ostensibly, controlling them. They're shiny and big and sometimes they're swords. Even the old mountain lady has a stick she whips out when it's time to stick-fight. They're a step up from the inch-high weapons that come with the dolls, but they're still just cute props for fake people to employ in bloodless executions as they erase your resistance to this children's toy commercial. Enjoy the stupid; I kind of did. From one to ten, I give it a seven.
Man, I am so tired. I have to tell you kids this before we move on. Last night after work I went to Tampa to see Phile Alum Kim Simmonds with Savoy Brown in concert. It was the spur of a moment thing, and I am so glad I went. I haven't seen Kim since my dads funeral in 2000, and I haven't seen Savoy Brown in concert in 15 or plus years or so. The show was fantastic, and Kim played acoustic guitar for about half the show. In the encore they played "Savoy Brown Boogie" and in the song Kim would sing, "I boogie for Muddy Waters, I boogie for Willie Dixon, I boogie for John Lee Hooker..." And so on. But when he sang "I boogie for Lonesome Dave" the crowd cheered. It was great. Thanks to Kim and Skipper's Smokehouse for a great time. And I hope to have Kim on the Phile again soon. Instead of putting a picture of me at work at the bottom of this entry today I will post a picture from alst night of Kim Simmonds and I. Alright, so, guess what time it is? I think you know. He's a phriend of the Phile, a singer and a renaissance man. Please welcome back to the Phile... Laird Jim.
Long day turned pretty interesting when Starsky here decided to slide across the hood of my car (pistol drawn) screaming "DON'T YOU MOVE! LEMMEE SEE YOU HANDS!" it seems the steroid jockey boyfriend of Bubble Ass Barbie here decided to take a swing at an off duty ATF agent during a traffic dispute... he followed... called the NYPD, who swarmed Mr. S.A.T. Scores with about 6 uniforms... and one S.W.A.T. I asked chucklehead if the City of New York was gonna pay for any scratches on my hood. I hope that part doesn't end up on TMZ...
When food shopping and "Black Water" by The Doobie Brothers comes on the speakers DON'T sing along... unless you want people staring at you like you're a fucking nut! Which we all know I don't give a shit about anyway. So, just move along... nothing to see here... step lively now.
Keep on rollin', Mississippi moon, won't you keep on shinin' on me... That's the only part I know... oh, hang on. I'd like to hear some funky Dixieland, or something like that I think. LOL. I used to think they were singing "I'd like hear some funk in Disneyland". LOL. Thanks, Jim, good job as always. Okay, let's talk about this... the 25th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is this...
The author, Kent Gustavson, will be the pheatured guest on the Phile tomorrow.
Today's pheatured guest is a Mark Martyre is a Canadian writer and musician. His full-length album, "Down, Record" is available on iTunes. In addition to his latest solo album, he has also published two books of poetry and prose “Wondering Down the Road” and “Drifting Magentically” , and had some of his works printed in arts and culture magazines. He'll next be appearing at Feathers Pub in Toronto
on April 13th. Please welcome to the Phile... Mark Martyre.
Me: Hello, Mark, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Mark: Not bad. How are you?
Me: Tired and groggy from the concert last night. I have to say, I downloaded your album "Down, Record" from iTunes and really like it. This is not your first release, but it's your first full-length, am I right?
Mark: Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. And, yes, it's my first, full-length studio album.
Me: It's the only album of yours on iTunes, Mark. Are you planning on putting the others up?
Mark: I'll be making future albums available on iTunes.
Me: Where are you from? You're Canadian, right?
Mark: I am Canadian. I live in Ontario, but I tend to move around a bit. Right now I’m in Toronto.
Me: I interviewed so many Canadian musicians here on the Phile, more than any other country. I don't know why that is. A lot of talented bands and musicians come from Canada I guess. Why do you think that is, Mark?
Mark: Yeah, I don’t think it could give much more insight into it. But it's great to hear that music from Canada is making its way abroad, and is being well-received.
Me: Alright, I like to ask all my Canadian guests if they are fans of one of my favorite bands ever... Barenaked Ladies. Are you a fan of them?
Mark: Yeah, they're not bad. I own their "Gordon" album as I'm sure a lot of people do. What do you like most about them?
Me: Good question. I like their writing style, lyrics, and that every one of their concerts is slightly different. Speaking of ladies, Mark, I am guessing you get a lot of female followers, being good looking and talented. Am I right?
Mark: Followers? No, I don't think so. Not that I know of, anyway.
Me: I meant fans. Alright, let's get back to your latest album "Down, Record". What does that name mean? Is Record a dog?
Mark: Haha. Some have suggested that. And that's not a bad way to look at it. I kind of like that idea. Maybe one day I'll get a dog and name him, or her, Record. Is Record' a man's, or woman's, name?
Me: Could be both. Speaking of records, I love vinyl. What about you?
Mark: Absolutely. I'm a big fan of vinyl.
Me: Did you write all the songs yourself, Mark?
Mark: I did.
Me: You didn't play all the instruments though, or did you? Do you have a band?
Mark: No, on the album I had some people play certain parts: the drums, the bass, the backing vocals, and a couple guitar parts. I played the acoustic guitar, some of the piano tracks, and the harmonica, too. The musicians on the album are not my band, but they are a group of people that I had performed with in the past, and were familiar with the songs. And they’re style of playing lent itself to the kind of music I wanted to put on this album.
Me: You've been compared to Leonard Cohen and Tom Waits... not too shabby. What do you think of those comparisons? It's an honor I am guessing.
Mark: It is. It’s very, very flattering. But I don’t feel nearly adequate enough to place myself anywhere close to artists of that caliber. It’s sort of that idea about standing on the shoulders of giants. And that’s what they are to me. I understand that people always want to be able to reference something... especially when they haven’t heard you before. So, to get an idea about your music, they’ll ask, “Who do you sound like?” So, I realize the need for these sorts of comparisons, but it is a jarring feeling to be compared to them.
Me: Who are your influences and who did you listen to growing up?
Mark: It’s really far too complicated, and too difficult to answer a question like that. Especially in a list.
Me: Alright, how long have you been playing guitar, Mark?
Mark: Hmm… I picked it up in my early teens, I think.
Me: Do you remember what the first song you learnt was?
Mark: No, I couldn’t remember that. But as soon as I started playing the guitar, I started writing songs. I just used what little I knew about the instrument. And that’s still the theme to this day.
Me: What was the name of the first song you wrote?
Mark: I have no idea. I’m sure it was terrible though.
Me: Apart from being a musician you published two books on poetry... "Wondering Down the Road" and "Drifting Magnetically". What came first, song writing or poetry?
Mark: Well, I guess it was song writing. But that’s only because I grew upthinking there was this very clear line between the two. But, over time, the line has blurred and it’s all just a collection of words.
Me: That was kinda a dumb question, being poems are songs without the music. Anyway, do you still write poems?
Mark: I do. But like you said, poems are songs, and songs are poems, and letter can be a poem, and a message on a postcard could be a poem, even a grocery list can be a poem, and it can be a song, too.
Me: Have any of your poems been turned into songs?
Mark: No. Not by me, anyway.
Me: So, give us one of your poems here, Mark.
Mark: Haha. I wouldn’t know which to choose. I’ll have to save it for another day. I appreciate your interest though.
Me: Alright... On the album you sing a song called "Lauren Bacall". I am guessing you are a fan of hers. What's the inspiration behind that song?
Mark: Well, I guess she’s the inspiration behind it. But the song isn’t about her.
Me: And there's another song called "Natalie". So, I have to ask, who is Natalie?
Mark: Hahaha… Well, hopefully we all have a “Natalie” in our lives. I do hope there is more than one of her out there.
Me: So, what's next for you, Mark? Another album?
Mark: Definitely. I hope to start recording this summer, and possibly have a new album out at the end of the year. Don’t hold me to that though. Y’know, the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry. Or something to that effect.
Me: I like the photo on the cover of the album. Did you take it?
Me: Where and when was was it taken?
Mark: That photo is from 1958. It’s an intersection in Toronto, and it definitely has some meaning for me. And other people, like you, seem to have connected with the image as well. I got permission to print it from the City of Toronto Archives.
Me: Cool. Okay, on the Phile I like to ask random questions from this game called Tabletopics. So, here is yours. Is it more essential to develop beliefs or gain knowledge? Man, that's deep. I don't think I understand that question.
Mark: I wouldn't know how to answer that. I don’t think I understand it either. Essential for what?
Me: Good point. Mark, thanks for taking part, and please come back. I hope this was fun. Go ahead and mention your website and I wish you continued success. All the best, Mark.
Mark: Thank you. Again, I’m glad you liked my music and that it sparked some interest. And you can get more information at markmartyre.com. Thanks, again.
There, that about does it for another entry of the Phile. I am gonna go back to sleep now. LOL. Thanks to Laird Jim and of course Mark Martyre. The Phile will be back tomorrow with author Kent Gustavson. So, spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you,
Man, I look pregnant.