I bet you had to look at that twice like I did, right? Microsoft has come out with a new tablet called Surface, and I think their promo for it is gonna piss of some Apple fans.
Well, it's Summer as you know, and as it's Summer and today's guest is from the band Witches In Bikinis, I thought for the next few weeks I would show you some of the wackiest bikinis out there. The bikini... what a great invention, right? Anyway, here is the first one. A burqini (or burkini) swimsuit designed by Australian company Ahiida. Their goal is to design swimsuits “with the respect of Islamic values and aimed to enhance the lifestyle of the active Muslim female”. Well, at least these cute chicks save money on sunscreen.
That's terrible. It looks like the same outfit Wonder Woman wore when she went swimming on the old TV show. Remember that? When I was a kid I was so disappointed that her bathing suit showed less skin then her regular outfit. I think I have as picture of it.
There. See what I mean? Oh, well. Hey, let's see who got a job in the fertilizer business, shall we?
LeRoy Neiman
June 8, 1921 - June 20, 2012
Painted himself into a coroner.
Alright, well, we all know the world is supposed to end in December thanks to the Mayans for being so darn smart. I thought I would invite a good friend to the Phile who hasn't been here in awhile to give us some more Mayan advice and such to help you during the week. So, please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hello, Marvin, welcome back. So, what advice do you have for us?
Marvin: Nya b’a’n tu’n twa’n toj chuj, ku’n b’e’x cy-elil chuj tc’u’ja.
Me: Marvin, we don't speak Mayanese. What is that in English?
Marvin: It is not good to eat in the bath or your stomach will grow that size.
Me: Ummm... thanks, Marvin. Marvin the Modern Day Mayan, everybody!
Over the year or so I had quite a few politicians on the Phile, and I feel so lucky to have them. But today's politician is really cool, and the best looking one ever. No, not Sarah Palin, but I am still hoping to get her. This one is a Democrat, duh. That's why the heading said Democrat. Please welcome to the Phile for the first time Financial Director for the Democratic National Committee... Hildy Kuryk.
Me: Hello, Hildy, welcome to the Phile. So, what did you want to talk about?
Hildy: Hello, Jason. So, do you know who Sheldon Adelson is?
Me: I think I heard the name before but not sure. Who he is?
Hildy: Sheldon Adelson is the man who recently donated $10 million of his personal fortune to a super PAC supporting Mitt Romney's campaign, making him the biggest single donor to a candidate-specific super PAC and biggest donor to outside spending groups in the history of the United States.
Me: Wow. So, I am guessing you and the other Democrats must be upset.
Hildy: Actually, there's something I want to say about this before I tell you that we should get upset.
Me: Okay.
Hildy: He's said that he's willing to go as high as $100 million to defeat Barack Obama.
Me: This kind of money could change the outcome of an election I am guessing.
Hildy: For Sheldon Adelson, who's worth more than $20 billion, this donation is about the equivalent of $40 to a middle-class family.
Me: And what do you think of this billionaire doing this?
Hildy: This isn't the way our country should work. Electing someone president of the United States should be a decision that we make as a nation. The outcome shouldn't be affected by one, or even several, extraordinarily wealthy men.
Me: Do you think Sheldon knows this is wrong, too?
Hildy: "I'm against very wealthy people attempting to or influencing elections," he said. "But as long as it's doable I'm going to do it."
Me: Unless we stop him, right? Do you think he can be stopped?
Hildy: We absolutely can stop him.
Me: How, Hildy?
Hildy: We have more supporters on the ground, more energy and more voices. We just need to make sure that everyone gets involved, no one's left behind, and we don't let this election... or any election across the country... come down to just a few wealthy guys.
Me: For you guys about the amount of regular people's donations, right?
Hildy: No, and that's how we'll win. And Sheldon Adelson will still be able to buy us all a drink.
Me: LOL. Thanks, Hildy. Please come back again soon.
Hildy: Thanks, Jason, and for your help.
Hildy: Hello, Jason. So, do you know who Sheldon Adelson is?
Me: I think I heard the name before but not sure. Who he is?
Hildy: Sheldon Adelson is the man who recently donated $10 million of his personal fortune to a super PAC supporting Mitt Romney's campaign, making him the biggest single donor to a candidate-specific super PAC and biggest donor to outside spending groups in the history of the United States.
Me: Wow. So, I am guessing you and the other Democrats must be upset.
Hildy: Actually, there's something I want to say about this before I tell you that we should get upset.
Me: Okay.
Hildy: He's said that he's willing to go as high as $100 million to defeat Barack Obama.
Me: This kind of money could change the outcome of an election I am guessing.
Hildy: For Sheldon Adelson, who's worth more than $20 billion, this donation is about the equivalent of $40 to a middle-class family.
Me: And what do you think of this billionaire doing this?
Hildy: This isn't the way our country should work. Electing someone president of the United States should be a decision that we make as a nation. The outcome shouldn't be affected by one, or even several, extraordinarily wealthy men.
Me: Do you think Sheldon knows this is wrong, too?
Hildy: "I'm against very wealthy people attempting to or influencing elections," he said. "But as long as it's doable I'm going to do it."
Me: Unless we stop him, right? Do you think he can be stopped?
Hildy: We absolutely can stop him.
Me: How, Hildy?
Hildy: We have more supporters on the ground, more energy and more voices. We just need to make sure that everyone gets involved, no one's left behind, and we don't let this election... or any election across the country... come down to just a few wealthy guys.
Me: For you guys about the amount of regular people's donations, right?
Hildy: No, and that's how we'll win. And Sheldon Adelson will still be able to buy us all a drink.
Me: LOL. Thanks, Hildy. Please come back again soon.
Hildy: Thanks, Jason, and for your help.
The 20th artist to be pheatured in the P.P.A.G. is the biggest yet. It's comic book artist Bob Budiansky, and this is one of his pieces...
I wanted to blow it up big so you can really see the artwork. Bob will be a guest on the Phile next Sunday.
Why the hell does she have ear muffs on? Oh, well. Today's guest is the composer, lyricist and creative director for the New York based band Witches in Bikinis. Their latest album "Scary Kind of Love" is available on iTunes and they'll be next appearing at Coney Island boardwalk, in front of Deno's at the Wonder Wheel Music Marathon in Brooklyn, New York on August 18th. Please welcome to the Phile... Bill Rozar.
Me: Hello, Bill, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Bill: I'm great. It's wonderful to be here!
Me: I have to say, I was never into the witch thing, but the bikini thing, well, that's another story. How on Earth did you come up with this act, Bill?
Bill: One day the words "witches in bikinis" popped in my head. I liked the sound of it and the look of it. I just thought it was a really cool image. So I got to thinking about what witches in bikinis might be, then wrote a song about them, and then formed a group.
Me: You guys are based in New York, right?
Bill: Yes, Brooklyn.
Me: I am guessing throughout October you play a lotta shows, am I right?
Bill: You are right! In past years we've done the Witches Ball, performed in the Village Halloween Parade, and played at various clubs and parties.
Me: How long has the act Witches in Bikini's been playing?
Bill: About seven years.
Me: I take it you're a big fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Am I right?
Bill: I liked the movie. I was never one of those people who went to the theater with rice and water pistols, shouting at the screen though. We often perform "Time Warp" as an encore.
Me: Me, myself, I have never seen the movie or play. A friend of mine at work wants me to see it but I didn't see it when I was 20, I am not gonna see it now when I'm in the 40's. I thought it was gay back then.
Bill: It still is, in the best sense of the word.
Me: So, was it hard to find girls willing to be in the show, Bill?
Bill: It's not easy finding women who are talented and beautiful enough to be a Witches In Bikinis.
Me: How did you first express your idea and who was the first person you told about it?
Bill: The whole thing kind of evolved with a group of artist and performer friends. My main partner in getting the group started was Janelle Lannan, who is a fabulously talented singer and performer and sang all the songs on the first album. She was a friend of mine before I even knew she could sing. One night my wife and I saw her perform and we were blown away by how good she was. My wife suggested I ask Janelle to record my "Halloween" songs that were sitting on a shelf collecting dust. So we started recording the first song "Hold Me My Little Ghostie" on Halloween day 2004 and had our CD release party exactly one year later.
Me: How many Witches are in the band?
Bill: It varies show to show, depending on the venue, event, who's available, etc. Usually three to five. Occasionally more.
Me: What are the auditions like?
Bill: I generally schedule private auditions for people that already look promising based on their cover letter, resume, pictures, videos, and conversations. I give them a song to learn, maybe a dance routine; I record them, videotape them, and pick the ones that can sing and give off a good vibe. Even then there's kind of a trial period to see how they fit in.
Me: You also have a band as well, right? Are you in the band?
Bill: When the group first started performing it was all to tracks, then after about a year I formed a band in which I alternated between keyboards and guitar. This year we are doing a hybrid kind of thing using tracks and live instruments. So I am more like a DJ now but also playing instrumental parts here and there.
Me: How do you come up with the songs, Bill? Who are your influences?
Bill: Every song is different; sometimes I start with the lyrics, sometimes the melody or a beat, sometimes I work it out on guitar, sometimes on the piano, sometimes on the computer. I vary the process to keep it fresh and interesting. My musical influences run the gamut, but if I had to point to a single influence in creating Witches In Bikinis I would have to say Jonathan Richman back in 1980.
Me: If you could have any famous female singer in a colored wig and bikini in the band who would you choose?
Bill: Debbie Harry.
Me: I would've chose Kelly Clarkson to be in your band. What do you think?
Bill: Well, Witches in Bikinis is very much an ensemble... everybody is featured equally, so bringing in a star like that could upset the balance I imagine. But talent-wise and looks-wise she'd make a great WIB I'm sure!
Me: You have two albums which I downloaded from iTunes... the self-titled one and "A Scary Kind of Love". The latter came out a few years ago, are you working on a third album?
Bill: We do have enough songs for a couple more albums but I have not been focusing on it lately. About two years ago I formed another group... kind of a sister group to Witches In Bikinis... called Alien Surfer Babes, which does sci-fi and surf-themed music. So that kind of pulled me away from the next Witches album. But it is in the works!
Me: How would you compare both albums, Bill?
Bill: The first album was very Halloween and horror-oriented, heavy on organ and other keyboards, while the second album is more broadly-themed and more guitar-based rock.
Me: So, what is a typical Witches in Bikinis show like?
Bill: It's a spectacle. Beautiful women with great voices, tight harmonies, singing and dancing in sexy, colorful witch-wear. Lots of fun!
Me: I have a picture from your website of Witches performing at Coney Island last year.
Me: There's cherog... chrorog... dancing in the shows. Who comes up with all that?
Bill: Mostly the girls themselves. In the past we've had outside choreographers, but all the girls in the group are trained dancers and generally creative people. Usually someone will come up with some basic ideas and then work it out with the group. I don't get involved with the choreography at all other than to say if I like it or not.
Me: So, where did the inspiration for "Party Like A Chimpanzee" come from?
Bill: I don't know... just in a goofy mood that day I guess. I do like monkeys in general and chimpanzees in particular.
Me: Bill, do you guys perform at comic book conventions? I bet you could. There's Spookie Empire here two times a year where you probably could play.
Bill: I'll have to check that out. We did perform at the Fangoria Convention in New Jersey which was very cool. And Alien Surfer Babes made an appearance at Comicon in New York which was a lot of fun... so many people wanted pictures with the girls even though they had no idea who they were.
Me: So, what's next for the Witches, Bill?
Bill: Well, the plan now is to combine Witches in Bikinis, Alien Surfer Babes, and a couple of other shows into a single group called Madwoman Collective. It will be Madwoman Collective featuring Witches In Bikinis, Alien Surfer Babes, etc. We want to have a vehicle that does not restrict us to a single narrow theme and allows us to reach a broader audience with many narrow themes as well as more universal "mainstream" kinds of music. I never planned to spend the rest of my life writing only Witches in Bikinis music.
Me: Thanks so much for being here. Please come back again. Go ahead and plug your website and anything else you want.
Bill: Actually, our website, witchesinbikinis.com, is being re-vamped so it's not very current. Best thing is just to Google Witches In Bikinis for articles, videos, etc. and get the music from iTunes, Amazon, or CDBaby.
Me: All the best, and I hope this was fun.
Bill: It was! Thank you so much!
Well, that about does it for another entry. Thanks to my guests Hildy Kuryk and of course Bill Rozar. The Phile will be back with legendary British Blues singer Chris Youlden and then next Sunday it's artist Bob Budiansky and on Monday singer Jenn Summers. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
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