PHIRST OF
Yo, hey there, welcome to the Phile, proud sponsor of TACAnow.org and generationrescue.org. I can't believe this is the last day of July already. Holy crap. So, this Monday I am gonna attempt to fly in a hot air balloon again. That might be a reason my wife bought a bazooka... to shoot me out of the sky. LOL. This is great news if you hate the French. The president of France fainted while jogging. He’s all right now, but for a couple of minutes he was so woozy he mistook his wife for his mistress. The producers of “The Bachelor” and ‘The Bachelorette” usually promise the most emotional endings. This season’s was uneventful, but here’s the problem I have with these shows: These are people who spend approximately 45 hours with each other, and based on those 45 hours, they get married. And then people who watch them cry because they’re so happy for them. Meanwhile, if it was someone you knew, or if your daughter came home and said she was engaged with someone she only knew for 45 hours, you’d cry too, but not from happiness. Former Atlanta Falcons and dog fighting aficionado Michael Vick has been conditionally reinstated by the NFL. The condition is he has to wait until October to play in a game, and he has to practice every day against a team of angry Dobermans. He has been working hard to rehabilitate himself: He served his prison time... he apologized... he promised to work with animal rights organizations... he was an usher at the Taco Bell dog’s funeral... The always hot Sarah Palin might host a syndicated radio show. It’s scheduled to be four hours a day, but she’ll probably quit after the first 2 1/2. Elsewhere in the news, a Swedish company was fined today after one of their assembly robots attacked a human worker. And so it begins... In California, when a robot goes crazy, they elect it governor. Speaking of California, A 50-year-old man in California was arrested for having sex with a horse. It isn’t only that he had sex with a horse, he had sex with a horse... again. Doesn’t he understand naaay means naaay? President Obama had his “beer summit” at the White House. It was his chance to sit down with Dr. Henry Louis Gates, the Harvard professor who was arrested for breaking into his own house, and Sgt. James Crowley, the policeman who arrested him. There was one awkward moment when Crowley asked Obama for ID. Vice President Biden showed up too... I guess they wanted to even things out racially. They sat around a table in the rose garden and drank. I’m starting to think Obama cooked this whole thing up because he didn’t want to ask Michelle if he could have a poker night. I have been showing you recently that some major companies have been changing their names and even their logos to match the failing economy. Well, the latest company to do this was Nike. I don't know if they changed their name but they did slightly change their infamous swoosh logo. Look at this.
Weird, eh? Alright, I have a really good blog for you today. Someone Phamous Has Died, History, a top ten list and Kim Shattuck from The Muffs is today's guest. The Phile is sponsored by lasersquadoforlando.com, AndASmallDog.com, and www.worldclasstvl.com. Corazon Aquino: Aqui? No.
1941
Reichsmarschall Hermann Goering issues an order directing Reinhard Heydrich to carry out the final solution to the "Jewish question."
1945
Wearing a stolen army uniform, prisoner John Giles attempts to escape from Alcatraz island by boarding an outbound cargo boat. But instead of San Francisco, the vessel heads for Angel Island, where Giles is promptly captured.
1966
Beatles records are burned in Birmingham, Alabama -- only because John Lennon innocently declared that the band happens to be "more popular than Jesus."
1969
The San Francisco Chronicle, the Examiner, and the Vallejo Times-Herald receive nearly identical letters from the Zodiac Killer. Specific details are given about recent murder scenes, along with the demand that a "cipher" be printed on on the front page of the papers (or else Zodiac will go on a "ram-Page").
1998
Diminutive actor Gary Coleman, former child star of the ABC television sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes", is arrested in Hawthorne, California for allegedly battering an autograph seeker in a uniform shop. Coleman, then a security guard at Fox Hills Mall, was shopping for a bulletproof vest.
1999
Police arrest James Donald Ray for fucking two sheep to death at El Capitan High School in Lakeside, California. A previous sexual attack against one of the sheep prompted the police stakeout, which nabs the 38-year-old in flagrante delicto cum ewe.
Sonia Sotomayor's Top Ten Pet Peeves
10. Doesn't like being called "Judge So-So".
9. Justice Clarence Thomas keeps threatening to show her his "gavel".
8. People confuse her with Cincinnati Reds' right-hander Mario Soto.
7. Chief Justice Roberts will get the oath wrong when swearing her in.
6. Not enough "Night Court" reruns on TV any more.
5. Getting Sandra Day O'Connor's hand-me-down robes.
4. When elderly folks keep asking if she knows Matlock.
3. Confirmation hearings prevented her from attending the "Ban the Phile" rally.
2. Thought she was being considered as a judge for "American Idol".
And the number one Sotomayor's pet peeve...
1. Robe rash.
Today's guest iss the lead singer and guitarist of the band The Muffs, a rock band based in Southern California. They'll be performing next on August 14th 2009 at The Casbah in San Diego, California. This is very cool as I am a big fan. Please welcome to the Phile... Kim Shattuck.
Me: Hello, welcome to the Phile. How are you doing? I have to say, Kim, you are looking as good as ever.
Kim: Thanks! I've started working out a bit. Fighting the fight!!
Me: So, before we start I have to ask you, are the Muffs working on a new album?
Kim: We are working out our new songs and making plans. Stage 2 I believe.
Me: I didn't realize you guys broke up. When did that happen, and what made you all get back together?
Kim: We didn't really break up. We just took a long, long break. I was kind of mulling it over in my mind what to do. I wasn't sure I would want to do music again but I didn't want to pull the plug just in case I got all inspired again. I did.
Me: Where is the band based? California, right? What part?
Kim: Southern California. The Los Angeles area.
Me: How did the band form?
Kim: I was sick of the band I was in and had all these songs so my boyfriend, me and a couple of friends started working on them. One thing led to another and we became a real band. Weird, its been 18 yers since our first show.
Me: Kim, did any of your band members hit on you?
Kim: I used to go out with Ronnie. But we were already going out so that doesn't count as a "hit on..."
Me: Let's talk about the name. When I think of the word muff I think of... well... you know... the woman's hoo-hah. What does the bands name mean?
Kim: A ladies hairy pussy. You kinda had it the first time. I could also mean "a mistake" or an error.
Me: I remember you guys were on a Fruitopia commercial. Can you still buy Fruitopia? How did that commercial change the band?
Kim: I don't think there is a Fruitopia drink anymore. It changed our bank accounts temporarily because it was a buttload of money but aside from that we are the same old people.
Me: I almost interviewed Jeff McDonald from Redd Kross. There's a connection between your two bands, right?
Kim: We have weekly orgys. We cross pollinate.
Me: Hey, you guys are on Rock Band 2 with Kim Wilde's "Kids In America". That's very cool. Have you heard if Kim liked your version of her song?
Kim: I have no idea if she liked it. She should like it though because we made her some money.
Me: How was it filming Father's Day? Did you get to hang out with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal?
Kim: We totally hobknobbed with Robin Williams. He held court and talked to everyone. He was very chatty.
Me: Kim, on the show "Mr. Show" there's a character named Dr. Shattuck. Did you know that? Was he named after you? LOL.
Kim: David Cross was my neighbor for a while and I ran into him a lot. He said different characters were named after different indie rock girls he had crushes on.
Me: You guys are touring Europe this year, right? Any chance you'll be doing more US dates? Maybe you'll hit Florida. That would be fucking cool.
Kim: The thing I remember about Florida is the drive thru liquor store. Totally odd. We are about to go to Spain but not the rest of Europe until after we release another album. Do they still call them albums?
Me: Kim, I hope this interview was fun and when your new album comes out let me know and I would love to interview you again. Oh, plug your website.
Kim: Thanks for the fun interview!
PHINALLY
Man, that was so cool. Check out the Muffs website at the-muffs.com. Alright, the Phile will be back on Monday unless I die in the hot air balloon. It'll be August which is Alumni Month. I'll still have new guests on the Phile, but some phan favorites as well. And do you know who will be on the Phile on Monday? Tish Meeks from 3 Kisses. So, have a good weekend and spread the word, not the turd.
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