Monday, June 29, 2009

Pheaturing Jasmine Rae


Hi there, welcome to the Phile, proud sponsor of and I am your host, the Phallen. Last night, Logan and I went to see the new Transformers movie and I was thinking, Rise of the Fallen could be the slogan for Viagra. Someone asked me the other day have I tried The Secret? I did and all I manifested was this lousy blog. The governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, disappeared without telling his staff or his wife where he went. Then he said he was hiking. Then he showed up and held a press conference to announce that he went to Argentina to visit his mistress. This is the guy who some people thought might be a candidate for president. He won't, by the way. In international news, if you're planning a trip to North Korea, don't go. The North Koreans are accusing us of trying to start another war, and they're saying that they will wipe us out if we do. They're probably kidding, though. They have a very good sense of humor about this stuff. Dick Cheney is writing his memoir. It's going to be called, "To Kill a Mockingbird While Aiming at Your Lawyer." It will be published by Satan and Schuster. Well, Schuster's not really involved. Environmentalists say that living naked for a few hours a day will help save the earth. Somebody please keep this information away from Al Gore. Thousands of people are still paying their respect to Michael Jackson. The line to see his star on Hollywood Boulevard stretches around the block. It's longer than the iPhone line.
Michael Jackson news has pretty much wiped out all other news — Iran, Iraq, North Korea, the economy... not even Jon and Kate get mentioned anymore, and that's important stuff. With all the Michael Jackson news, we almost forgot that the other day was Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Which, for blind people, is every day. Speaking of Michael Jackson, have you seen the new inspirational poster? I am not sure what to think about it myself. Take a look...

See what I mean? Well, I have a very beautiful and pleasant guest for you today. Australian country singer Jasmine Rae. But first...

The Globe Theater, William Shakespeare's original theatrical venue, burns to the ground.
Actress Jayne Mansfield is decapitated in a car crash, when her convertible collides with a parked tractor-trailer. To downplay the gruesome death, sources spread the falsehood that only her wig flew off in the accident.
When Soyuz 11 disengages from the Salyut space station, cosmonauts Georgi Dobrovolsky, Vladislav Volkov, and Viktor Patsayev are killed by a faulty pressurization valve. All the oxygen leaks out of the Soyuz cabin before Patsayev can close the valve by hand, and the crew is asphyxiated.
The body of Bob Crane is discovered in bed with an electric cord wrapped around his neck and his head smashed in. When Scottsdale police search the apartment belonging to the former star of television's "Hogan's Heroes", they discover a video camera and a large library of amateur porn starring Crane and a parade of random women.
Under the headline "Homosexual Prostitution Probe Ensnares Official of Bush, Reagan" the Washington Times reports that "a homosexual prostitution ring is under investigation by federal and District authorities and includes among its clients key officials of the Reagan and Bush administrations, military officers, congressional aides and U.S. and foreign businessmen with close ties to Washington's political elite." The story alleges that homosexual call boys had been given tours of the White House, under the aegis of Republican Craig Spence. Spence's body is later found at the Ritz-Carlton in Boston, an apparent suicide.
Mohammed Boudiaf is assassinated by one of his own bodyguards less than six months after becoming President of Algeria. A former hero in the war of independence, Boudiaf had been chosen by the Islamic Salvation Front to serve as figurehead for their regime. More than 100,000 Algerians will later die in political bloodshed in the following decade.

Phact 1: The random symbols (#*!&@) used to indicate obscenities in comic strips are called "grawlix."
Phact 2: Teddy Roosevelt's dog, Pete, ripped a French ambassador's pants off at the White House.
Phact 3: The first Web site ever built was located at
Phact 4: Forty-one percent of women apply body or hand moisturizer a minimum three times a day.
Phact 5: A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.

Know the sequel cliché "Give 'em the same, only more of it"? Never has this been more apt than with Transformers: ROTF—not to be confused with Transformers: ROFL or Transformers: LMAO. You're pretty much getting the 2007 Transformers movie again: Robots from space need the help of a human boy named Sam (Shia LaBeouf) to get something or other that means a lot to them and kind of has an impact on the fate of Earth in a roundabout way—only with bigger robots and bigger explosions. Like the first time around, the special effects are pretty much what you're paying to see and they are, once again, very impressive. Bay clearly took some notes from his first go-round and finally allows some of the fight scenes to breathe a little bit, particularly a forest throwdown with Optimus Prime. He actually inserts some long shots to give you a sense of scale and setting, something he hardly did in Transformers. You can tell which robot is punching and which one is being punched. And some of the scenes shot exclusively for IMAX are jaw-droppingly cool. But... the script is a mess. The entire movie feels like it's being told to you by a hyperactive 10-year-old: "And then this guys comes in… and then he hits this guy… Oh! I forget, they need this key thing to start the machine… and then the robot humps this girl and you see boobies and one of the robots has balls!" Bay tries to inject humor one minute (only problem: He's not funny) then tries for Black Hawk Down seriousness the next. The movie is also a ridiculous two and a half hours long when a good hour of it could have been chopped with absolutely no impact on the plot (see: pot brownies). Plot points are also tossed aside with reckless abandon and continuity is beyond an afterthought—"Wait, Transformers can take human form now? Um, care to explain that?" "Nope! Too late, we're moving on!" And we still don't buy a kid like LaBeouf ditching Megan Fox and a Camaro that can change into a killer robot for Intro To Astronomy 101. Tom Kenny (the voice of Spongebob Squarepants, kids!) voices a pair of twin robots called Mudflap and Skids. Let's just say he and Bay are apparently big fans of old-timey comedy. I give it a seven, and Logan gives it a ten which pretty much says he'll be getting it on DVD for his birthday or Christmas.

Today's guest is a classically trained Australian Country singer and songwriter who is best known for her song "Country Singer" and for winning the Telstra Road to Tamworth in 2008. She'll be starting her July tour on July 11th at Yass Soldiers Club in Yass New South Wales, so if you're in Australia. Please welcome to the Phile... Jasmine Rae.

Me: First of, Jasmine, I have to say you are beautiful, and you have an amazing singing voice. How are you?

Jasmine: I'm feeling fabulous. Hope u r too:)

Me: You're gonna be big one day, Jasmine. You're getting pretty popular in Australia, right? Do you have a lot of guys chasing you?

Jasmine: I'm not really sure actually. I guess I'm too excited to know.

Me: Speaking of Australia, where in Australia are you from? And do you surf? All Australian's surf, right?

Jasmine: Hmmm not all Australians. Melbourne, Victoria- its a little chillier down here than most places in OZ.

Me: Not many country singers are from Australia, unless you count that Keith Urban guy... LOL. Is country music big there, and do you know Keith?

Jasmine: I don't know Keith yet, no, But he does a great job. Love his work. Country music is getting bigger and bigger here. Soon its gonna take over... well thats my goal anyway : )

Me: You recorded some of your new album in Nashville, and played at the CMT Music Festival. Was Nashville like you expected it to be?

Jasmine: I didn't have too many expectations, I was just very excited to be there. But I'm looking forward to visiting again soon.

Me: Did you get to do a lot of sightseeing while you were there? Where else in the States have you been?

Jasmine: Nashville is the only place in the State that I have travelled to so far! It was actually my first time outside of Australia. Now I've got the taste for travelling and would like to see all the sights next time I visit.

Me: I just watched your video for "Look It Up". Was it fun to make, and is that your first video?

Jasmine: I love making videos! They are all so much fun. "Country Singer" was my first video from the "Look It Up" album. that was super fun with all of the 'speed dating' characters and I've just fiinished making my new clip for "Pink Guitar."

Me: Speaking of "Look It Up", that's the title of your new CD which I tried to download off iTunes, but it's only available on the Australian iTunes which I cannot buy... so will it be available on the US iTunes? I would except an autographed copy. ; )

Jasmine: Hmmm... I didn't know it was unavailable to you guys on iTunes. I'll get onto that. Would love for you guys to hear it. I'm sure you could order them in.

Me: Tell me about the Australian Defense Force tour. What is it, and how was it?

Jasmine: It was a great experience- I went over to East Timor with some other great entertainers from Australia to bring some Christmas cheer to our Troops who are doing an important peacekeeping job over there.

Me: Congrats on being the winner of the Telstra Road to Tamworth winner. Explain what that is, and how you felt when you won.

Jasmine: Telstra Road to Tamworth is a country music talent competition. I guess similar to Nashville Star. I now have a record deal with Australian Label ABC/Universal and video clips and songs on country music TV and radio. It's been an unbelievable experience.

Me: In 2009 you're gonna be opening for Brooks and Dunn on their Australian tour. Becareful of that Kix character, I heard he was trouble. LOL. Are you looking forward to that tour?

Jasmine: Yeah I guess its ok... are you kidding? I can't sleep if I think about it too much cos I'm so excited. Yay, its going to be brilliant!

Me: Okay, when are you gonna come back and tour America? You need to come to Florida, Jasmine.

Jasmine: Very soon I hope :)

Me: Hey, there's a Jasmine Rae that performs on "The Greatest Story Never Told" by rapper Shyheim. That's not you, is it?

Jasmine: Nope not that I know of.

Me: Jasmine, not only do you have looks and a great talent, you're also pretty smart. You have an Advanced Diploma in Music. What is that about, and when did you get it?

Jasmine: I finished the two year boot camp. I mean course... hehe... in 2007. It was great, thats where I learned how to write music!!

Me: Have you been singing all your life?

Jasmine: Yes indeedy - professionally since I was 14.

Me: You worked with famed producer Richard Landis... was that in Nashville or Australia? You also worked with Louie Shelton who played with the Jackson 5, the Monkees, and Lionel Richie. I bet he had some great stories.

Jasmine: Louie and Richard are both great! (I worked with them in Australia). Louie has become attatched to the sunny Queensland coast of OZ where he now lives. It was an honour to work with them.

Me: Jasmine, I hope this was fun, and I hope to see you in concert one day. All the best, you rock.

Jasmine: Thanks for stopping by:) xo take care.


Thanks to Jasmine and a great interview. Also thanks to Wikipedia, of course. The Phile will be back on Friday with singer Darcie Monet and then next Monday with the drummer for Sister Hazel Mark Trojanowski. In the meantime, spread the word, not the turd. Thanks for reading.

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