Friday, January 20, 2006

In The Midnight Hour

Hi, welcome to the Phile. You may have heard about this: there's a new tape made by Osama Bin Laden. It's kind of scary. We haven't heard from him in a year, but they know it's a new tape and they know it's current because in the tape Osama mentions the Hilary Swank divorce. People at the State Department think Osama may be loosing it. They think he maybe getting wacky. In the tape he offers to sell his kidney stone for $25,000/ Crazy, eh? William shatner did that, you know, sold his kidney stone for $25,000. Here's the strange part: Kobe Bryant bought it for his wife. Have you heard that Ted Kennedy had a child out of wedlock? something like this could damage the Kennedy's relationship with women.

   Well, I have a fun-packed entry put together for you.

 

CANNED LAUGHTER

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and
showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want
something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

 

R.I.P.

One of my favorite singer's from the 60's, Wilson Pickett, the soul pioneer best known for the fiery hits "Mustang Sally" and "In The Midnight Hour," died of a heart attack Thursday in a Reston, Va., hospital, according to his management company. He was 64. Pickett - known as "the Wicked Wilson Pickett" - became a star with his soulful hits in the 1960s. "In the Midnight Hour" made the top 25 on the Billboard pop charts in 1965 and "Mustang Sally" did the same the following year. Pickett wasw covered by artists ranging from The Rolling Stones to The Commitments to Roxy Music. Click below to listen to some of Pickett's music.
'In the Midnight Hour'
'6-3-4-5-7-8-9 (Soulville U.S.A.)'
'Land of 1000 Dances'
'Mustang Sally'

FOGHAT NEWS

The only news I have about Foghat is this picture taken at Bikertobest in Deland, Florida of a race car with the Foghat logo.

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MOVIE REVIEW

 

Today's movie review is on Hoodwinked. The story begins the same way we're used to hearing it. Little Red Riding Hood (Hathaway) sets out for a peaceful skip through the woods but encounters a menacing Big Bad Wolf (Warburton). When she finally arrives at her destination, Grandma (Close) turns out to be the wolf in disguise.Violence seems imminent until a Woodsman (Belushi) bursts in, saving the day. Red looks innocent, Grandma looks helpless, The Wolf looks guilty, and the Woodsman looks heroic. But then the police arrive, led by gentlefrog detective Mr. Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers), a parody of Dashiell Hammett's sleuth Nick Charles (of The Thin Man), a character well before the time of not only the children in the audience, but also most of their parents and some of their grandparents. Flippers won't name a culprit until everybody testifies. nd so we get to see how the day's events looked to the Wolf (actually an investigative reporter on the trail of a criminal conspiracy), the Woodsman (actually a dufus wannabe actor, getting into character for his role in a TV commercial) and Grandma (actually a thrill-seeking extreme sportster, complete with "GGG" tattooed on the back of her neck). Not surprisingly, the true villain isn't any of them. His identity should be obvious to all but the slowest kids in the audience. There's no getting around it: Some of this is awfully funny. There are scattered peaks of outright hilarity, chief among them an encounter with a mountain goat who can't stop singing, no matter how politely or frequently he's asked. His singing is funny enough by itself, but the character also has multiple sets of detachable horns, each specially customized for different household applications, and the set that doubles as a common piece of porch furniture is such a brilliant sight gag that it almost justifies the price of admission. There are other moments as good, including a couple of good parody songs, but too many of the intended big-laugh moments are merely labored and hackneyed. For instance, the common device of the threatened cartoon character who suddenly demonstrates advanced martial artistry, a la The Matrix, was old if effective by the time it appeared in Shrek; it's been used so many times since then that we might have been more gratified if this Little Red Riding Hood had demonstrated dangerous capabilities of an entirely different kind. The snowboarding hot mama of a Granny is also an old idea, not nearly as startling as the moviemakers intend her to be. The idiot Woodsman has some stuff (especially in one scene where he holds an ax by the blade and tries to cut down a tree with its handle), but is also not much to write home about: He's just stupid, and undiluted by any memorable personality. The budget CGI animation ispretty enough. It would have been a startling leap forward only a few short years ago, but has its jerky moments, and—most importantly—doesn't ever succeed in investing any of these characters with the illusion of life. Granny, the Wolf and the Woodsman all sport woefully inexpressive facial designs, and as a result very little compelling personality.

Here is my son, Logan's, review of Hoodwinked: I liked the fighting.

The Weinstein Co. isn't waiting to become established to get into the animation game. They have both the fairy tale based Hoodwinked and this fantasy adventure flick Doogal coming up in the near future. I have some problems about Doogal. This is an American remake of a British film titled The Magic Roundabout based on the British television show I used to watch when I was five and younger. The problems I have about this film are it seems like a purely economic decision by the Weinsteins. You take a movie that's already all done (an animation takes time to shoot), you add a few "big" names to voice it and voilá. Tthere are some details that will be changed for the American version of the film, like: the voices, the title, and the release date. The British version came out a year ago. And worse of all, why are they changing the name to Doogal, when the dog's name is Dougal. Anyway, here is the link to the website:   DOOGAL.

 

ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH

Let's start with trivia: The average duration of a male orgasm is four seconds. Dr. Seuss' popular book, "Green Eggs and Ham," was the result of a bet that he could not write a book using only 50 words. Sony's first product was a rice cooker. Sex relieves headaches. Lovemaking can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. Elvis made just one commercial during his reign. It was for Southern Maid Doughnuts. Bats have sex in the air while flying. Men become sexually aroused nearly every time they dream.

Website of the week: Spell With Flickr Refresh to see differently designed letters.

Today in history: In 1936, King George V of England is euthanized with injections of cocaine and morphine, after a painful cancer illness. His physician was motivated not only to ameliorate the king's suffering, but also to break the story in the morning edition of the newspapers, "rather than the less appropriate evening journals." In 1969 Nixon wasinaugurated as 35th President. In 1990 Alan Hale Jr, "Skipper", dead of thymus cancer. He was also a Foghat fan!

If Cartoons Were Real People:  D'oh!

I was bored one day and decided to do some hacking. Anyway, I stumbled upon George W. Bush's Hotmail account. Really. Click on the link to check it out yourself. http://www.changar.com/text/bushmail.html See? I told you.

 

Okay, now for the Phile's most popular segment.

FAKE OR FOTO

The answer to the last Fake or Foto is....FAKE. The picture of the cup and saucer is all fake. Here is the next pic. Is it fake or foto?

Is is fake or foto?

And now for the Phile's most popular segment:

MOVIE BUZZ

Casino Royale: The new Bond girl? Rose Byrne. Apparently she won the part after auditioning with Daniel Craig in a bedroom scene. Byrne's a good choice because she's one of those actresses who pull off the nearly impossible feat of being both "hot" and "cute" simultaneously.

Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck want to remake Butch and Sundance? Maybe a crazy publicity stunt will help. Got it: I'll personally re-enact the bicycle scene down Sunset Boulevard, completely naked except for a sign around my neck that says, "Stop Matt and Ben!" Although there's probably somebody already doing that just for the hell of it.

Batman Begins 2: Rachel Weisz might play conflicted Batman love interest and villainess Talia al Ghul. Even better: The Johnny Depp–as–the–Joker rumors are back! I want this to happen even more than the long-talked-about Keith Richards Pirates 2 cameo.

Superman Returns: This photo gallery from the Los Angeles Times is flat-out fantastic. Not so cool: Is Returns really gonna be PG? Not even PG-13? What, is the Man of Steel gonna sit around talking about his feelings instead of kicking butt?

And now for the trailer of the week: Winter Passing.  trailer


Well, that's about it for this entry. I will leave you with the random pic of the week, picked out by Jen, my wife.

Click for a random picture!

'Nuff said.

 

 

 

 




 




 

1 comment:

trel67 said...

First you have a picture of Phil Collins.  Now you have Bruce Willis as Homer?  Talk about a star studded blog!

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