Pheaturing Geena Davis

Hi there, kids, welcome to another entry of the Phile on a Tuesday. How are you? This coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We're told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides. Remember the movie Demolition Man? Looks like that movie had the most accurate future portrayal. There is no toilet paper, going to Taco Bell is a big deal, people refrain from physical contact because of spreading disease, and Wesley Snipes has been let out of prison. I was thinking after all the stupid things I've done in my life if I die because I touched my face I'm gonna be pissed.
As the fight against the coronavirus continues, the world watches closely how certain groups of people are adjusting accordingly. One way a specific group is “fighting” the pandemic, is by blowing the “wind of God” through a camera screen, claiming that viewers who are infected by COVID-19 can touch their screens and be healed. Yes, American televangelist Kenneth Copeland has kept the wave going for Christian megachurches to keep protesting why they believe they should still be holding their massive services, disregarding the “stay-at-home” order against COVID-19. Considering he’s a Trump supporter, it’s ironic that he has not only encouraged this but also encouraged still tithing regardless of people losing their jobs. As the government is urging people to stay at home as much as possible, why would someone who supports the current state of the government and go against the orders? It makes just as much sense as proclaiming that blowing the “wind of God” will heal someone through a TV screen. Based in Texas, the Kenneth Copeland Ministries megachurch proclaimed that the coronavirus pandemic will be over sooner than later because the prayers of Christians all over the country have “overwhelmed it.” Before he blew into the camera, he said, “I blow the wind of God on you. You are destroyed forever, and you’ll never be back. Thank you, God. Let it happen. Cause it to happen.” Then led a chant with other members of his church that went, “Wind, almighty, strong, south wind, Heat: Burn this thing, in the name of Jesus. I say, you bow your knees. You fall on your face.” He also claimed that those who are against President Trump “opened the door” for the virus with their “displays of hate” against him. He demanded that a “vaccination come immediately," but I’m not sure how much “demanding” will get things done if they keep congregating. It’s one thing to have faith that things will get better eventually and to pray for healing. But it’s another to demand things into existence while the rest of the world is obviously working on it and to go against not congregating because you think you’re above it. I think I’m going to pray for extra wisdom for these guys.
A British woman was found dead at a dog shelter she ran, located in Egypt. Sixty-one-year-old Janet Johnstone’s body was discovered with several bite wounds to her face, heads, neck, and legs. Just a few days before she was discovered, Johnstone wrote on Facebook about her hungry animals, saying “We tried but we didn’t raise enough for the food to be purchased. The dogs couldn’t be fed today.” According to authorities, they believe the dogs had turned on her and attacked her due to hunger. A post-mortem then later revealed she died of shock due to blood loss. Authorities found three dogs inside the Wadi al-Qamar sanctuary that had blood on their mouths, and are now being tested. Several friends of the passionate animal love refused to believe she was attacked, insisting the pooches would have never hurt their “guardian angel.” Several suggested she might have died from inflicted wounds.  After her death, a Facebook group surfaced in the woman’s honor, called Janet’s Wadi-Support The Street Dogs of Dahab, where they released a statement on her death. They stated, “As long term friends and admin for Janet and the dogs we absolutely refute any suggestion that she died because of a dog attack. She has been the dog’s rescuer, carer, and showed them love and kindness for many many years. We are doing everything we can to get a positive result out of such a tragedy.” The group claims the “full truth” of what actually happened would most likely not come out anytime soon. The animal lover had recently taken in a pit bull terrier who was supposed to be euthanized after attacking someone, which may have been the dog authorities believe attacked her. As well as stray dogs, the shelter took in donkeys, cats, horses, and rabbits all of which are looking for new homes. If you would like to donate to the organization or adopt, you can visit their website at helpdahabdogs.com.
What man can’t relate? You’re walking around some store, mindlessly perusing its wares while your lap hog slumbers quietly inside your pants, then you decide to leave and get stopped by a suspicious store worker who thinks you’ve shoved one of their items down your pants because your bulge is so monstrous that whatever is creating it can’t possibly be part of a human being. So, then, you calmly explain to the store that you are no thief but, rather, just a humble man with Thor’s hammer Mjölnir attached to your pelvis. It gets annoying after a while, doesn’t it? Apparently, that’s the case for at least one man whose penis appears to be both a blessing and a curse. Forty-seven-year-old British man Steve Whitehurst found himself in that very situation back in September while leaving a Scotts Mens­wear store. Whitehurst was wearing tight jeans that just so happened to show off the fact that his wang could double as a cannon on a Royal Navy frigate. The store’s staff thought, basically, that whatever was in his pants was too big to possibly be a penis, so they stopped Whitehurst and accused him of stealing. Whitehurst tried to explain that it was all a mixup and that he’s actually just part donkey but the store wasn’t hearing it. A likely excuse, they thought. Confronted with the very real possibility that the Bobbies were going to be called on him for no reason, Captain Thunder Dong took a male security to a back cubicle, pulled down his pants, and proved once and for all that he was being unfairly profiled for being hung like Cthulhu. The store disputes this account but, really, who do you want to believe? That’s all that actually matters in this world anymore. Here's a peep pic of this guy’s bulge...

I believe him.
Wow, talk about impressive! A 53-year-old German woman who recently underwent brain surgery is going viral for the most remarkable reason! Dagmar Turner was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in 2013, but her tumor was benign, meaning it couldn’t be operated at the time. After suffering a seizure, Turner found out the tumor had grown and became aggressive. So, keeping her 13-year-old in mind, she decided it was finally time to undergo surgery to remove a tumor in the right frontal lobe on her brain. After more than 40 years of training, and becoming a violinist with the Isle of Wight Symphony Orchestra, Turner was worried that the surgery would heavily affect her dexterity and prevent her from playing again. Which is why she consulted with Professor Keyoumars Ashkan at King’s College Hospital located in London, England, who noted she shared a passion for music as well and is an accomplished pianist. The neurosurgeon then had the brilliant idea to let the violinist play during surgery to make sure it wouldn’t affect her playing. Yes, DURING surgery. So, there she was with her skull open, in the process of getting the tumor removed, and nonchalantly playing the violin. Now THAT is impressive. Why did they want her to play the violin mid-procedure? Well, the tumor was situated so close to the area of the brain that controls movement in the left hand, meaning it would have been easy to damage with one small move in the wrong direction. But, if she was playing the violin while surgery, it would allow doctors to monitor which areas of the brain were still active, and avoid them more easily. So, surgeons decided to put Turner under anesthetic and then performed what is called a craniotomy, an opening in the skull. When she was conscious again, they gave her a violin and then continued to play through the surgery. Turner stated she played George Gershwin’s aria "Summertime" while doctors continued the operation. She noted, “It was like being woken up from a really deep sleep. The first thing I really remembered was when they put this violin in my face, like, ‘now play, Dagmar, play.' I was like, ‘let me sleep.' ” Luckily, the surgery was a success and after three days of recovery, she was discharged from the hospital. Doctors were able to remove over 90 percent of the tumor, including all the areas suspected of aggressive activity while retaining full function in her left hand.
Ew, ew, ew. Some of y’all are so gross, and this definitely proves it! A new challenge is trending online, thanks to TikTok of course, and well, I think it’s one of the worst ones yet. Apparently, people are literally filming themselves eating cereal, but no, not out of a cereal bowl, rather from their friend’s mouths! Yes, I told you it was gross. Basically, the #cerealchallenge involves one person “acting as a bowl” by literally lying down on a table, and then another person eating out of “that bowl.” The person who is the bowl basically opens their mouth and the other person pours milk all the way to the top of their mouth and then adds the cereal. That person then just calmly eats it, ignoring the fact that the coronavirus virus is an issue right now. But, as expected, some people can’t manage to maintain the milk inside, because well, if you’re laying down the milk is probably going to choke you since it’s touching the back of your throat. But, some videos do show people actually grabbing a spoon and eating it so calmly. Which I find insane. I can’t be the only one thinking that eating saliva mixed with milk and Fruity Pebbles is disgusting right? I mean come on, I don’t care if this person is my girlfriend, it’s gross. Don’t do that, kids, my breakfast cravings are non-existent now. So how did the challenge start? Well, apparently no one knows, but this has been going around like crazy on social media. Several social media personalities have also partaken in the challenge, and are sharing on all their pages encouraging people to participate in it. And while some have performed the challenge with no issues, many have struggled to actually go through with it, which is hilarious to see. I’ll be honest, I laughed and went to look for more. I do have to say that I’m glad it isn’t anything as dangerous as the Tide pod challenge. It’s just milk, which is okay. I will say this, it’s pointless. So much so that people are even criticizing it on social media, because well, at the end of the day one could basically choke or get hurt. Teenagers are coming up with everything these days. I can’t wait for the next TikTok challenge.
So, once Broadway reopens some shows are changing their names and even changing the stories. Like this one...

So, did you see the new Quarter Pounder they have at McDonald's? They claim it'll get you through these rough times. Take a look...

I love the "Family Circus" comic, but the most recent one has me thinking this coronavirus business sure has changed the times...

Hahahaha. That's actually funny. So, it's good to wear a mask when you go out and maybe some gloves but some people are taking it a bit too far...

So, if you watch The Phantom Menace, that Star Wars film on Disney+ you'll see that they changed a few things. Like this for example...

"Republic credits are no good out here. I need something more real." Yup, toilet paper is real. People are using the coronavirus as pickup lines on dating apps. Like this...

Some churches are really getting clever with their signs thanks to the coronavirus. Check this one out...

Hahaha. This is March vs. April again...

Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...

Top Phive Things Said By Women Who Are Quarantining Alone
5. Quarantining alone got me like: Need a thrill? Place your bets I shower this week. Or won’t I? Nobody knows. Stinkin’ good game.
4. The worst part of quarantining is that getting drunk alone leaves me without equally drunk women I can compliment in the bathroom.
3. As if single people didn’t have it bad enough quarantining alone... y’all really had to go ahead with the first pic challenge.
2. Remember on day two of official quarantine when I decided to drop acid by myself? That was a horrible, horrible idea. I ate half a bag of blackberries and then flipped out when I saw my purple hands a couple of hours later. Don’t ever do what I did.
And the number one said by a woman who is quarantining alone is...
1. I also got two marriage proposals today, thanks to Tinder passport, so I think I’m now engaged to two different men in Greece. I knew this quarantine would be good for something.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. It's a hard one, kids. Okay, so, you know I live in Florida by now. Crazy shit happens here that is probably not happening anywhere else. So once again here is...

Breaking news: a Florida man is apparently terrible at picking homes to rob if his mugshot is any indication.

Why? Because he picked the home of Barry Sands to rob. Sands was asleep in his home in the middle of the night when he heard what he thought was a frightened woman banging on his door. When Sands went to inspect he opened the door was attacked by 35-year-old Mark Katsnelson. Katsnelson forced his way into Sands’ home, hitting Sands and injuring on his lip and his toe, but then things took a pretty justified turn for Katsnelson. Sands got his wits about him after the initial surprise and beat Katsnelson senseless. Look at that mugshot again. The reports say Sands just punched Katsnelson in the face a few times so it’s apparently worth asking: does Barry Sands have wrenches for hands? Did he lose both hands in some sort of terrible garbage disposal accident and instead of having hooks attached he told the doctors to toss some wrenches on there instead? It’s worth asking because Katsnelson’s face has been obliterated. I literally Googled “Barry Sands MMA” just to be sure he isn’t a mixed martial arts fighter I’ve never heard of. He is not, but maybe he should be. So, yeah, this Barry Sands guy is simply a man who very much does not appreciate strangers breaking into his house in the middle of the night and attacking him. Go figure. So much so that he develops superhuman strength and a pathological hatred of his attacker’s face. We really can’t blame him, can we? Katsnelson, unsurprisingly, was charged with burglary with assault or battery and then transported to the hospital to have his face put back together. Katsnelson is being held without bond.

This dude caught licking random stuff at a Missouri Walmart.

Now for some sad news...

Honor Blackman 
August 22nd, 1925 — April 5th, 2020
She was 94. Let’s be honest: The galore was gone.

The 119th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

George will be the guest on the Phile tomorrow. Okay, now here's a joke to try to make you laugh.

A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. "Twenty bucks," she says. He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the hell it's only twenty bucks. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them it's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer. "I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know." "Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

Phact 1. Manaus is a Brazilian city of two million people deep in the Amazon Rainforest. It was once a notoriously extravagant rubber boom town in the 1800s. An opera house was built with European marble and crystal. One visiting opera troupe had half of its performers die from yellow fever in one season.

Phact 2. Prior to 1989, Willie Hurt was a happily married family man who was fairly well known in his community. But all that changed when he won $3.1 million in the Michigan Lottery. Within two years, Hurt separated from his wife, lost custody of his children, blew through his fortune, and was charged with attempted murder.

Phact 3. Bill Murray wrote Wes Anderson a blank check so that he wouldn’t have to cut a scene from Rushmore.

Phact 4. White-fronted parrots kiss mouth-to-mouth. When the male is sufficiently aroused, he vomits into the mouth of the female.

Phact 5. In 2013 PayPal accidentally credited 92 quadrillion dollars to a Pennsylvania man.

Today's guest s an American actress and activist. She has received numerous accolades for her acting work in both film and television, and is noted for her portrayals of strong and authentic female characters as well as her involvement in advocacy for women in the industry. Her documentary This Changes Everything is available to watch on Amazon Prime and Hulu and Starz. Please welcome to the Phile... Geena Davis.

Me: Geena, welcome to the Phile. I used to gave a biggest crush on you back in the day! How are you?

Geena: That's nice, thank you. Staying safe.

Me: So, your documentary is called This Changes Everything. Tell the readers what the film is about.

Geena: This Changes Everything takes a close look at the gender disparity in Hollywood, both on and off screen, through the stories of actors such as Reese Witherspoon, Shonda Rhimes, Natalie Portman, Meryl Streep​ and many others.

Me: Do you remember being aware of sexism in the movies when you were growing up?

Geena: No. No, I think I was not profoundly aware of it. I grew up in a house where the TV goes on in the morning and stays on all day. I think a lot of people were like that. My best friend and I after school would pretend to be characters from "The Rifle Man" which shows how old I am.

Me: "The Rifle Man"? I think I heard of it. What was it?

Geena: "The Rifle Man" was a TV show about the widower and his son. 

Me: So, who did you pretend to be?

Geena: Because I was taller I would be the father and my friend would be my son.

Me: Did you think it was odd you two pretended to me males?

Geena: No. It never occurred to us that was strange, why are there not female characters that we want to pretend to be. But it occurs to me now there weren't any female characters that we wanted to play.

Me: There's a point in the film where your daughter is born, right?

Geena: Yes, she took me down a whole new path as far as my interest in gender representation on screen. I've been very interested in it from a selfish perspective as much as I am an actor and always looking for good parts. It was when I sat down with her start having her watch pre-school shows and little kid videos and things like that that I was thunderstruck to see how few female characters there seemed to be. Entertainment's aimed at little kids in the 21st century really was a stunning realization that we would be more or less training kids to have unconscious gender bias from saying clearly girls and women are not as important boys because they're not showing them and when they do it's sexualized or narrowly stereotyped or not really doing important things.

Me: Okay. "Unconscious" is a word that is used a lot in the documentary and it's used when you go see some Hollywood executives. They don't even know and think they're on the "good team," right? 

Geena: Exactly. That's what I found. I didn't intend to launch a whole new phase of my life over this issue.

Me: How did it all come up then?

Geena: At first I just mentioned it whenever I had a meeting with a director or producer or executive and I'd say, "How you ever noticed how few female characters there are in movies made for kids?" Every single person said, "Oh, that's not true anymore. That's been fixed and we fixed it." And they would name a movie very often with one or maybe two female characters to prove that gender equality had been fixed. So it was outstanding to me how unconscious it was. I think what I concluded was that there's a movie that has maybe a lead female character whose maybe smart and capable and has some skills or whatever and one is enough as long as it's significant. And they can't see that women were missing in such tremendous numbers. That's why decided I wanted to see the data which proof this is the magic key to all of this. Once they see the data they'll realize what they're doing wrong.

Me: So, once you saw the data yourself what did you do?

Geena: I started up this institute to look at these issues in 2004.

Me: When you got these hard numbers was there anything that surprised you?

Geena: I knew what I thought I saw but it was still surprising to see it in black and white like that. And the level of hyper sexualization I think was really startling. One thing we found was in G-rated animated movies female characters were the same amount of sexually revealing clothing as the female characters in R-rated movies.

Me: Like Toy Story, right?

Geena: Toy Story is not G, it's PG.

Me: Oh, yeah, you're right. Were their movies and TV shows that made you think that a change was possible?

Geena: Well, "Teletubbies" are gender balanced. I don't know if you could tell but I'm very hopeful and optimistic.

Me: I think it was Sandra Oh in the film talks about The Joy Luck Club being a turning point for her. Was there any like that for you?

Geena: They come along actually very frequently of films that feature women prominently very inspiring, I got to even be in a couple. The problem has been that they don't create momentum, that they don't save and this changes everything. We realized that there is a tremendous appetite for movies starring women about women told from a female perspective. In fact our research shows that for the past several years movies starring a female character makes significantly more money at the box office then movies starring male characters. So that's pretty telling.

Me: The idea of the turning point and game changer comes up a lot in the film, Geena. Okay, so, I have to mention Thelma and Louise. What goes through your mind when you think of that movie? 

Geena: We had heavy accents. LOL. Nothing but good memories about it. That is the best script I ever read. I was astounded to actually be in it and it really impacted my life more than other film.

Me: Did it feel like one of those "turning points"?

Geena: Well, none of us suspected the reaction that it got when it came out. It was amazing all the positive and negative reactions that it engendered, The one thing that was very striking was how the press seemed to say this movie now obviously now everything has changed, We're going to see many more movies starring women, female buddy pictures, female road pictures, this is really the start of something new. They put us on the cover of Time Magazine like two weeks after it came out. It was amazing, we didn't expect that at all. I have to admit it sounds plausible, it could happen and we've been waiting ever since.

Me: I don't want too sound cynical... but there's Wonder Women, Crazy Rich Asians, Black Panther, each of these films come out and we see the same thing... this is turning point for women in film, this is a turning point for Asian representation in film, this is a turning point for representation in film. Does it make you cynical?

Geena: Yes, I've become very cynical about that because my attention was drawn to it. Then I saw that that didn't really seem to pan out and maybe five years later another movie comes out and people are like "this changes everything." I'm like let's see. It didn't happen and by the time it got to The Hunger Games and people said, "Now everything will change because it's a teenage female star." It was a huge success and "now really things will change." Yeah, I became pretty cynical about it. Let's see the numbers. Let's see if this is actually happening, they can't keep saying this is happening or has happened. I did a lifetime of interviews where every interviewer would say, "Do you things have changed now? Things have changed, right?" At first I was like I think so, it feels like it. Ultimately I was like look it up, Google it. Look at the numbers. It doesn't really matter what anybody's opinion is.

Me: I'm gonna be one of those interviewers, Geena. Does it look different now in 2020?

Geena: Yes, it does, I think so. Speaking of someone who became cynical of all these proclamations, I think it is different now. I was a founding member of Times Up and I think we have reached a tipping point. And there is a different feeling now. Part of it is influenced in the film by how many women wanted to speak out and tell their truth. That's different. For the longest time many of us had the feeling that it's not okay to talk about these kind of things. They don't want to be seen as being trouble or stirring the pot or anything like that. So much got buried and now years later it's completely different. It's not only okay to talk about what they think but the second someone finds out they're not being paid as much as their co-star it hits the news and there's no hesitation anymore. It's very different.

Me: In the making of this film, and in your life of advocacy what is another thing Hollywood could be doing?

Geena: Well, Warners adopted a studio wide inclusion writer which is fabulous. I think we've seen examples of film festivals as well. I think there's some very good signs. I think that's a change that we actually see happening is the powers that be are much more embracing what is going on. Rotten Tomatoes pointed out how few female and people of color they had as their reviewers and they have created a whole new policy and are really proactively addressing this which is fantastic.

Me: What impact can fictional stories have on society? Man, I almost sounded like a proper interviewer there. Haha.

Geena: Fictional stories have a tremendous profound impact on us. Seeing ourselves reflected in popular culture gives us the clues about our value. If I see someone that looks like me doing interesting things, being treated as somebody important I get a very strong message. This is the whole reason I got involved with what kids see first. If I'm not there, or if I'm being treated as an object and eye candy and I don't see someone like me doing investing and important things, obviously this applies to gender as well as any other type of differentness, otherness I'm getting a very strong message that I'm not valuable, that I'm not equal contributor to society. Boys, obviously white boys, they getting the message to that they are more important. Girls self esteem fro watching TV goes down and boys' goes up so there's clearly a negative message that's impacting us profoundly. But if they see someone that looks like them doing something fabulous that makes them think "I could do that?" It literally happens. In the same summer that Brave and Hunger Games came out, both with female archers protagonists girls participation in archery skyrocketed... shot up 105% instantly.

Me: Wow. In the film you mentioned the "CSI effect." What is that?

Geena: There were so many female forensic scientists on TV that women now dominate that field. It's because they saw someone on TV doing it and thought "I could do it." We don't have enough real life role models that we can emulate so we need them in fiction. I have to tell you a funny thing, I met the former president of Iceland one time and she was president for something like 16 years. She told me she used to get letters from little boys saying, "Madame President, do you think it'll ever be possible for a boy to be president?" They had a real life role model. That's what they saw and they assumed that's the way it is so it's tremendously and powerful what we show on screen.

Me: Geena, I am so glad you came on the Phile. I hope this was fun and I hope you'll come back again so we can talk about your movies.

Geena: Okay. Thank you very much.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Geena for a great interview. I guess it was great. The Phile will be back tomorrow with George Takei. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Wash you hands.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon