Hello, Phans, welcome to the most updated blog on the internet, the Peverett Phile, I'm your host, Flat Duo Peverett. The blog is a date late as last night myself and one of my best freinds Jim went to see Dexter Romweber who used to be in the band The Flat Duo Jets. So, while we were there, we found this amazing touch screen juke box. We looked to see if they ahd any Foghat and they had 22 Foghat songs on it. The whole "Best Of" CD and "Live" CD. So, we picked four songs to play. This long haired pony-tailed man said when "Road Fever" was playing. "Who picked this song? It fucking sucks." And Jim said, "If you can find your father's song on this g-damned jukebox, you can play it as well." Latest on the campaign: It was reported that things are going so badly for Sen John McCain, McCain has to carry his own luggage. Meanwhile, things are going so badly for Dennis Kucinich’s campaign, he has to carry Barack Obama’s luggage. The 'New York Times' reduced the size of their newspaper. They cut the paper's width by an inch and a half. The move was announced with the headline 'Big Changes At New York Tim.' There's a new sex poll. ... According to researchers, there are 237 reasons why people have sex. ... For me, number two would be my credit card went through. A little farther down on the list, I happen to be in an elevator with Reese Witherspoon. ... Reason 237: something to do while my wife is running for president. One of the president's daughters, the lovely Jenna Bush, is getting married. Now they're thinking, if they can just marry off Condoleezza Rice. Yea, it looks pretty good that Jenna's getting married, but first the guy has to be confirmed by Congress. ... It's going to be an expensive wedding. I guess it's no surprise, the $3 billion contract went to Halliburton. Presidential advisor Karl Rove has resigned. Were you aware about that -- he's resigned. He says he wants to spend more time leaking information about his family. You folks see the Democratic presidential debates over the weekend? Oh man, this debate, woah, it was very intense. The loser, the loser of the debate was taken out back and drown by Michael Vick. You like presidential birthdays? Oh! Who doesn't. Well, over the weekend former president Bill Clinton turned 61, 61! Happy birthday Bill. Bill enjoyed a romantic candlelight dinner and dancing, then he went home to Hillary. And speaking of Hillary, she'll be my first victim in a new pheature I'd like to call...
DUMB QUOTES FROM THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES
"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."
"God bless the America we are trying to create."
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
UNLUCKIEST MUSICIANS
Pete Townshend is legendary for his intense guitar playing. But in August 1989, Pete's ax fought back with a vengeance. During a stop in Tacoma, Wash., Pete impaled his right hand on its whammy bar while performing his famous windmill move. This wasn't the only time the Who guitarist has hurt his hand. Back in 1981, Townshend punched a wall backstage during a tour, breaking several bones. Ten years later, he shattered his wrist into a dozen fragments in a bike accident that threatened to end his career.
R.I.P.
Leona Helmsley: Que munchkins: "Ding dong, etc..."
Eddie Griffin: Merv must be devastated...Oh. Sorry. Never mind.
FLORIDA IS BASS ACKWARDS
PENSACOLA, Fla. - A man charged with dialing 911 to chat with dispatchers nearly 300 times in the last month remained in jail Wednesday. Cheveon Alonzo Ford, 21, was arrested Tuesday night and charged with making obscene and harassing telephone calls. He told authorities he began calling 911 because "I have no minutes on my phone and 911 is a free call" the Escambia County Sheriff's Office said in a news release. Ford was being held on a $50,000 bond Wednesday afternoon.
Officers used GPS coordinates from Ford's cell phone to track his location to the west Pensacola home where he was arrested, the Pensacola News Journal Reported.
"His phone service had been cut off and 911 was the only number he could dial from the phone," said Bob Boschen, communication chief for Escambia County. Boschen said many of Ford's 292 calls were sexual in nature. "When he would call and a male dispatcher would answer, he would hang up," he said. "Our policy says that if a caller is belligerent in nature we have to get enough information to process the call and then we can disconnect," he said. Ford never asked dispatchers for help or indicated he was in trouble.
CANNED LAUGHTER
A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating. The zookeeper approaches a redneck janitor with a proposition. “Would you be willing to have sex with this gorilla for $500?” he asks. The janitor accepts the offer, but only on three conditions: “First, I don’t want to have to kiss her. And second, you can never tell anyone about this.” The zookeeper agrees to the conditions and asks about the third. “Well,” says the janitor, “I’m gonna need another week to come up with the $500.”
NUTTED BY REALITY
I'm praying that those of us still watching this show witnessed the series finale of "On The Lot" and not a season finale. If this show ever gets a second season, I may be forced to boycott all future Burnett and Spielberg productions, and I really want to see the next "Survivor" and Jurassic Park IV. Well, maybe not so much Jurassic Park IV.
Anyhow, take all the things you disliked about this season and point the world's most powerful electron microscope at them. That's about what these last two episodes have been like. It's been painful in every nearly respect and I'm glad to finally be put out of my misery. In all honesty, I'm not even sure how to go about reviewing this episode. Fox probably could have condensed this show into a minute. I can probably condense this review into one word: crap. Do I care that Will liked Under the Gun, Jason liked Catch, and Adam liked Die Hardly Working? Frankly? No. I barely cared about the films the three finalists showed. That pretty much ensures I don't care about the films the non-finalists made six to twelve weeks ago. I also like how Adriana casually dropped the following tidbit around 40 minutes into the episode. "One, two, or possibly all of you probably have a fairly decent Internet following that used the world wide web to vote for you when one of your films was up. Unfortunately, Internet voting didn't work this weekend so you better pray they liked you enough to call on their phone or payed to text message a vote in for you. Sorry." Internet voting didn't work on the most important vote night of the season?! The one where Fox/Dreamworks gives 1 Million dollars to an amateur filmmaker, effectively altering the course of their life forever? Is anyone else appalled by this revelation? How did the directors not jump out of their chairs and dropkick Adriana across the stage? I would have been livid! Anyhow, long story short, Adriana kicked Adam off the lot and it came down to Jason and Will. Some faux tension was built with a commercial break, and Adriana came out and announced that Will Bigham was the winner of "On The Lot". There was some applause, Will got into a limousine, and was carted off to see "his new boss" on the Dreamworks studio. We finally hit paydirt. Spielberg, who I suspected earlier in the season was doing everything in his power to keep his mug off the screen as it pertained to this show, met Will Bigham with open arms and congratulated him for winning the competition. Spielberg mentioned that Will won out of 12,000 applicants to the show, and he also mentioned that he liked Yes Men, Lucky Penny, and Glass Eye. Spielberg appreciated Will's craft, liked his comic timing, and overall, thought he was a great film maker. Steven than said, "Welcome to our lot. Let's go in. Here's a key to your office." The part we didn't see is where Spielberg yanked the key back, called security, and had them forcefully escort Will off of Dreamwork's property. Spielberg could be heard yelling, "Check out my IMDB page sometime. I've got more talent in my beard than you have in your entire body. America got it wrong." Zach then pulled up in a second limousine, Spielberg handed him the key to the office, and nudged him toward a treasure chest filled with gold bullion. Okay, so nothing in the last three sentences really happened, but it'd have made for a much more interesting finale, wouldn't it have? In all seriousness, congratulations to Will Bigham. Of the bunch, he was definitely the most deserving.
Thanks for suffering through the show and reviews with me all season. It's been fun.
GEEK TALK
Well, we might be getting a big screen version of DC Comic's Justice League sooner than we thought. Robert Sanchez at IESB reports that sources at Warner Bros. confirm that "execs behind the Justice League of America want it to be in production as early as February/March 2008 to be ready for a summer of 2009 release." Last June, Erik reported that a completed script for the film had been turned in by Kiernan and Michele Mulroney. IESB's sources now say Warner was so happy with the result, the studio decided to set an early start date for the film. We've already heard talk that George Miller (Mad Max) will be signed to direct, but, the big question still remains: With new installments of Batman and Superman on the way, will WB be able to create a crossover with Christian Bale and Brandon Routh reprising their respective roles? Routh seemed more enthusiastic about the idea than Bale, but if WB is in a rush to get Justice League off the ground, the studio will have to start making some decisions. Casting Routh or Bale could cause serious delays with either a potential third Batman film or the next Superman film, The Man of Steel -- which are two pretty big franchises for WB to gamble with. On the other hand, Justice League could launch a franchise all its own. Plus, the film offers the chance for tie-ins with upcoming big screen versions of Wonder Woman and The Flash. So far nothing is official, so stay tuned for JLA updates as they come my way.
MOVIE BUZZ
Powder Blue
For her next role, Jessica Biel will be shedding her clothes and appearing nude onscreen for the first time. The film is about … ah, who cares? They had me at "Jessica Biel nude."
Transformers 2
Furious that Paramount is refusing to support Blu-ray disc technology, Michael Bay says he's absolutely not directing the sequel. Unless of course, his paycheck suddenly "transforms," if you know what I mean.
Religulous
Bill Maher wants his documentary that spoofs religion to be released next Easter weekend, a move that's so blasphemous it's bound to make Jesus roll in His grave. Well, if He were actually still in there …
Shine a Light
In the trailer for the Rolling Stones documentary, you can see the band arguing with Martin Scorsese on how to film their concert performance. Hey, Stones, the man puts your song "Gimme Shelter" in three of his Oscar-winning films and you still think he needs your advice?
Fourth Friday Movie
Thrilled with Rush Hour 3's recent B.O. success, Chris Tucker says he's all fired up to reunite with Ice Cube for his other main franchise role. Great, he's gone from starring as a guy addicted to weed to a guy addicted to starring in sequels.
Harold & Kumar 2
Speaking of stoners, the hapless pair from the White Castle movie are accused of being terrorists while on a trip to Amsterdam in the first trailer. Bong hit, bomb hit — yeah, they kind of sound similar.
Cassandra's Dream
In the trailer for Woody Allen's latest thriller (just ignore the French subtitles), Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell learn a lesson in "family loyalty." Yep, that's the perfect subject to be taught by the director who ended up marrying his stepdaughter.
Adventureland
Superbad director Greg Mottola already has his next film lined up, about some poor schlub forced to work at an amusement park during his summer vacation. If he needs some script ideas, I have an amusing one about the time I vomited on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Well, amusing for me, not so amusing for the kid sitting next to me.
1-18-08
Sounds like New Yorkers won't be terrorized by just one big monster in J.J. Abrams' mysterious film. They'll also be chased and eaten by smaller versions of the main behemoth. Um, J.J. did see the Matthew Broderick version of Godzilla before he agreed to this, right?
I'm Not There
There's a trailer for the unusual biopic of Bob Dylan, starring a bunch of different actors as the folk hero, including Christian Bale, Richard Gere and Cate Blanchett. Of course, director Todd Haynes didn't cast anyone who could actually sing, because if he did, then the movie totally wouldn't be realistic.
Justice League of America
They say the superhero team-up flick is being rushed into production next year for a 2009 release and is mostly geared as a launching pad for eventual Aquaman, Flash, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman solo flicks. I dunno, maybe they should change their group name from the Justice League to the Second Bananas?
The Strangers
Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler are threatened and brutalized in their own home in this trailer. Although I'm not sure if their attackers are serial killers or just overzealous Jehovah's Witnesses.
And now, because my last entry was all in Cockney, and I didn't want to review this movie I saw before my trip to England, here's the review of Underdog.
Underdog
Starring James Belushi, Peter Dinklage, Patrick Warburton, Alex Neuberger; voices of Jason Lee, Amy Adams and Brad Garrett. A talking, flying, cape-wearing beagle fights crimes. He also thwarts a mad scientist who wants to do mad scientist-y things to the world. The verdict for adults: painless and under 90 minutes. The verdict for little kids: best talking, flying, cape-wearing, beagle-fighting-crime movie ever. Normally, when a big studio refuses to show a film to critics, that means you're dealing with something like Captivity or I Know Who Killed Me. They usually don't hold back on letting you see the harmlessly mediocre kids' movies. If it's guilty of any crime, then it's the one where no original thought went into it at all. And for the grown-up audience, that means you'll forget it the second it's over, you won't feel enraged by the way it insults you, and you won't want to claw your own eyes out. These are important distinctions to make when you're discussing lazily created movies for kids. Dinklage as mad scientist Simon Bar-Sinister and Warburton as his oafish assistant Cad are kind of in their own silly movie, and they seem to be having a really good time. I even laughed along with some of the stuff they do, like when Dinklage intones, "The flames of inspiration are licking at my brain!" and he makes it sound like he's doing Macbeth in the West End. They shouldn't have shown any of the original cartoon over the opening credits. That just makes little kids confused and think they're about to see a cartoon. It just makes adults peevish that they're not about to see the cool old cartoon they remember so fondly. Bad decision. If this does big business, and it just might, because the 10 a.m. Sunday screening was packed with mommies and kids … but anyway, if it does big business, then does that mean we can look forward to a live-action Super Chicken? I think about stuff like this.
Well, there you go, another entry. Check out the Phile's webshots page for some
pictures from my trip to England. I will be posting more soon. Until next Thursday, spread the word, not the turd.
Special thanks to Jim, David and Conan.
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