Hey, children, welcome to the Phile... it's the great Trumpkin. Happy Halloween, I am a plague doctor. The scariest thing we can do for Halloween s start thinking about Christmas. Anyway, like I said this year for Halloween I am a plague doctor. Thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, the crow mask, aka, the "plague doctor mask" is once again a popular Halloween costume. During the bubonic plague, the weird beak mask was basically the equivalent of the N95 mask for COVID frontline workers in 2020.
There’s a lot of speculation that the black crow mask didn’t actually help plague doctors. You’d think that this long nose-design could keep droplets away, but they weren’t exactly plague-proof. What is the plague doctor mask you ask?
According to National Geographic, these masks were designed to purify poisonous air. The outfit and mask were designed by Charles de Lorme, a 17th-century physician. The coats were covered in scented wax, and the bird mask had a 6-inch beak filled with perfume.
The perfume was actually herbs. Unfortunately, the beak shape didn’t always keep droplets from reaching doctors’ nostrils. The eye holes were also quite spooky. Doctors wore spectacles, making the mask look very similar to a bird. Besides the long black coat, plague doctors also carried canes, which I didn't get. It’s been said that the rod was to help doctors keep victims away. Okay, imagine poking people with a cane. I’m surprised people aren’t doing this at Costco yet! Maybe these bird beak masks weren’t high-quality, but they did what they could to avoid the Black Death. Heck, some of us are wearing reusable face masks that aren’t technically medical-grade as well. There truly isn’t a better time than now to be a plague doctor for Halloween.
A Houston, Texas woman is in trouble with her neighborhood homeowner’s association because of her strip club themed Halloween decorations. Look at this...
Angela Nava of Richmond, Texas decided she wanted to bring some laughs and a little bit of joy to her neighborhood during this terrible year and the COVID-19 pandemic with this hot and spooky scene. She came up with the idea for a stripper themed Halloween display in her front yard months ago and when the season finally hit, she was ready with the necessary Halloween decor. She erected the skeleton strip club, complete with pole dancing skeletons and sexy lighting. People laughed. They took pics. It was a hit! Forget haunted houses, she had a lit AF Halloween party on her lawn. Well, to some, anyway. For others, not so much. Unfortunately for Nava, she lives in a “family-friendly neighborhood” or so the HOA claimed. It’s not appropriate for little kids in cute little Halloween costumes running up to houses to get candy to see some spooky dead strippers. The HOA has told her to take the creative Halloween decorations down but the deadline to remove them before she gets in trouble is after Halloween. With that being the case, Nava has decided to keep the decorations up, angry parents be damned.
And the best... and most typical... part of all this is that no neighbors have actually approached her about the unusual Halloween props decorating her front yard. They anonymously complained to the HOA and that’s it. Maybe it was the positions of the skeletons they had a problem with? There are some suggestively spread legs, after all. At least none of the dancers is doing anything appropriate with a Halloween pumpkin? Personally I would have made the pumpkins the men in the audience and given them some singles.
At Spirit Halloween, the Halloween party store that possesses empty strip mall shops to sell costumes and decor only to be exorcised from their 8 billion impermanent locations on November 1st, the decorations like to live up to expectations. Spirit Halloween stores are filled with all sorts of random creepy stuff, including life-size Halloween animatronics of characters like Michael Myers, the Grim Reaper, and a zombie baby to help set the mood. The sort of Halloween prop you’d buy and put at your front door to help you scare trick-or-treaters on Halloween night if you have an extra couple hundred bucks lying around and don’t mind the thing breaking before the night is over. Personally, I recommend the possessed baby prop. It’s the perfect addition to every psycho’s scary Halloween decor idea mood board.
The point is, you should reasonably expect something to randomly move and maybe startle you when you walk into the Halloween costume superstore. The store is called Spirit Halloween, obviously they want to celebrate the spirit of Halloween.
This woman went through the two stages of the jump scare prank. First, fear. Shameful, crippling, fear. Then, rage. She is pissed. That scarecrow went “boo” and she screamed back, “BITCH!” It’s hard to blame her. He’s lucky she didn’t not the stilts out from under him. I would have been (kind of?) justified. Either way, keep your head on a swivel when you walk into the Spirit Halloween store that was where Payless Shoes used to be. There may be a scary surprise waiting for you behind every cheap, collapsable shelf.
Every October is littered with Halloween costume and pumpkin carving fails but one little boy’s Jack-O’-Lantern may have taken said #fails to an extra level.
Posted to social media by an incredulous mother unable to tell her child that he’d just carved an ejaculating penis into a pumpkin, this Halloween decoration disaster is just top-notch work. As far as works of art go, this is up there.
As the mom explained to the Facebook group “This Fills Me with a Rage I Didn’t Anticipate," her kid wanted to carve a machete dripping blood. A spooky design much more in line with the holiday than the smiley, happy faces usually carved into pumpkins, as is Halloween tradition. This DIY gore-core decoration, however, very obviously did not go as planned.
Now there’s a carved pumpkin with a penis on it sitting either in this family’s house or, better yet, on their porch. Here’s hoping they’re hosting a Halloween party today. The amount of penises accidentally carved into pumpkins every year in America has to be astronomical. Machetes and chainsaws are extremely phallic. Even more mundane stuff like Minions could easily be turned into a wang by a poor carver.
Unless you’re doing a classic pumpkin carving or carving something unambiguously sharp-edged the threat of accidentally putting a dick on display for all the kids trick-or-treating in your neighborhood is oddly and unfortunately high. Carving a scary snake? Yeah, no, that’s a cock. How about a classic ghost. You know, sheet over the head, etc. That’s a dick too. It’s all dicks. Everything you’re carving is male genitalia. Just stick to the smiley faces with crooked teeth.
This is definitely one way to get some sort of fame and attention. A woman named Amethyst Realm, who had recently claimed that she was engaged to a ghost, has actually called off the wedding. Why? Because her invisible fiancé “kept disappearing” and started “partying” too much.
In an interview with UK TV show, “This Morning,” Realm explained how she had fallen in love with a “sexy” spirit named Ray while on a trip in Australia back in 2018, even consummating their “love” on the flight back home. Ray apparently had popped the question on their nine-month anniversary, and Realm and her ghost fiancé were on vacation in Thailand when she claimed to noticed that he was acting differently. “I think maybe he fell in with a bad crowd when we were on holiday. He just started becoming really inconsiderate,” Realm said with the utmost seriousness, “He’d disappear for long periods of time. When he did come back, he’d bring other spirits to the house and they’d just stay around for days.”
She explained how she thinks he started “doing drugs and partying a bit much,” and that they both came to the agreement to not get married. Now, I’m not sure what the spirit world is all about, but it’s hard for me to believe any truth in how this British woman calls a ghost her fiancé with no intention of making some sort of Halloween joke. And to think about how they “consummated” their relationship on their way back from Australia… what kind of strange noises were heard on that flight?!
I get there are ghost lovers out there. But if you want to become some sort of celeb, is this really a way to do it? You can’t be trending on social media for literally anything else? What were her son and daughter look like if she and Ray were to decide to have children? I’m honestly really curious about this, I swear.
It's time again to show you the Great Trumpkin this year!
Hahahaha. I don't think that pumpkin is as scary as this one...
Man, there's some crazy decorations out this year but I think this one wins...
Gotta wear a mask, people. If I had a TARDIS I would go back to see what Halloween was like in the 1920s...
Never mind, I didn't know it'll be that scary. Do you like pizza rolls? You have to wait for them to cool down before you eat them otherwise this would happen...
So, you know the movie The Shining with those twins and the pic above? Did you know I was supposed to play the twins. Here's proof...
They said I wasn't scary enough but I differ. Hahaha. And you know the movie Beetlejuice? It's one of my least favorite movies ever, but I was supposed to play the role of Beetlejuice before Michael Keaton got the part. Here's proof of that...
I'm the ghost with the most, or something he says, right? That's really funny. Not the movie, but that pic. We all remember trick-or-treating in that one rich neighborhood where they gave out full-size chocolate bars.
But one wealthy parent is asking if they're in the wrong after they prevented less well-to-do residents from flocking to their street to collect candy. The parent emailed the Phile to ask for guidance.
"I live in a large neighborhood, about 90 houses. We are what's considered the 'rich' neighborhood. So our neighborhood as always been a hotspot for trick or treaters. We used to get about 700 to 1000 kids a year, I've always loved getting trick or treaters because my kids are teens now and don't trick or treat anymore. But in the last four years, it's gotten ridiculous. There's thousands of kids and their parents flooding the streets, people with hay in their rigs carrying kids around, trampling yards, littering candy wrappers everywhere, and the amount of small children walking around by themselves is APPALLING. People from the neighboring town of 30,000 people take their kids to my neighborhood. I was annoyed, but I never really did anything about it till two years ago. My daughter tripped and broke her arm (we didn't think it was a break but we wanted to go to the er anyway to get it checked out) and there were so many people in our neighborhood, we couldn't get out. There were cars everywhere, lining the streets, parked in people's yards, it was horrible. We had to wait until everyone left (about 1 a.m.) to go to the hospital. My daughter had to wait in pain for HOURS. At that point, I was done. I contacted the neighborhood community and we managed to get some folks (cops mostly) to stand the at the gate with a list and only let in certain people. Folks that live here, family members, friends. If you wanted to get in, you had to be close to someone in the neighborhood. It was great, there were only about 300 kids in the neighborhood and after there was barely any trash. And, we're doing it again this year. I recently told my sister what I have done, and she got really angry. When we were kids, we had to trick or treat in other neighborhoods because we lived in a trailer park with no other kids. She told me I was a horrible person for ruining thousands of kids Halloween. But honestly, I'm not too broken up about it. It was a hazard, if there was a fire or an emergency, no one would be able to get in to help. When I was a kid, there was never any cars lining the streets, the residences could get out if they wanted, it was never dangerous.
I don't think I'm in the wrong, but I've always respected my sister's opinion. Jason, am I wrong here? Info: there was no one in the cars. They were parked in the middle of the road and in yards so there was no way for me or an ambulance to get through unless every driver in that neighbor at the same time went to their cars at the same time and drove out. My daughter was 13 and in that awkward phase where she doesn't want to bother anyone for help, and said it didn't hurt that bad." You didn't ruin Halloween for anyone. People still need to behave. The kids can still have fun. Parents just have to actually parent them now because someone else is watching. What if instead of a broken arm, your daughter (or anyone else who lived there or anyone who was just visiting the neighborhood for the festivities) had a heart attack, or a stroke, or an anaphylactic allergic reaction, or any number of other time-contingent medical emergency? Halloween in your neighborhood had become a health and safety hazard. You did the right thing to mitigate that danger. Your neighbourhood is not set up for carnival. If the number of people and vehicles obstruct essentially services then that’s beyond ridiculous. Also let’s not forget the "plague" at the moment, crowds like that should be banned at this time. It sucks for those kids, it really does. But when this became a hazard to people's safety and ability to get medical attention, something had to be done. I'm sure there are other neighborhoods that children can go to. Not just the richest one. You didn't ruin halloween for anyone. You made it easier on others in your neighborhood. So there you have it: there's no concrete answer as to whether this is right or wrong.
Anyway, somehow I'm suddenly craving a full-size Hershey's bar. If you have a problem you would like me to help with then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Things Said About Celebrating Halloween In 2020
5. Sure, trick or treating is off the table, but that doesn't mean Halloween is canceled. My child and I will be celebrating the old fashioned way, by burning an artisanal pentacle into our floor and summoning spirits from the netherworld.
4. This year Halloween feels redundant.
3. If COVID think it's stopping my Halloween, it has severely underestimated my willingness to dress up in a costume and sit on my own couch eating snacks.
2. Dressing up as a COVID denier for Halloween is easy. You don't even need a mask.
And the number one thing said about celebrating Halloween in 2020 is...
1. A little girl just started crying at my Halloween decorations. I know the emotion I should be feeling isn't pride but... HAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is a really hard one, kids. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Hard to believe we're 7 months into a pandemic that has killed over a million people and some people are still like "I won't wear a mask, because FREEDOM." And yet, we must believe it. Because COVIDiocy is an epidemic as widespread as the virus itself.
"COVIDiots" are tough to reason with. Especially because their mere maskless existence could literally kill you if you try to talk to them IRL. So if you encounter one in the wild, the best and safest thing you can do is post about it. Internet-shaming may be our best tool against this particularly dangerous strain of human stupidity.
Patient with fever removes mask on female nurse and spits on her face in Wuhan, saying "I don’t want to live anymore and you guys should not live too!" Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, New York shall we?
Looks like a nice Halloween day there. Now for some sad news...
Sean Connery
August 25th, 1930 — October 31st, 2020
Diamonds are forever. Bonds? Not so much.
Now for some pumpkin...
Phact 1. A farmer named Tony Dighera developed a plastic mold to put over his pumpkins so that they grow into the face of Frankenstein. Known as “Pumpkinsteins," it took him 4 years, 27 varieties of pumpkin and $400,000 to perfect his idea.
Phact 2. 90% of the pumpkins grown in the U.S. are raised within a 90-mile radius of Peoria, Illinois.
Phact 3. According to the scientific definition of the term pumpkins, bananas, and watermelons are all considered berries, whereas blackberries, strawberries, and raspberries are not.
Phact 4. The canned pumpkin most people use for pumpkin pie is actually just butternut squash.
Phact 5. Until 2015, Starbucks' Pumpkin Spice Latte contained no actual pumpkin.
Bit-O-HoneyBit-O-Honey is the most delicious way to wire your jaw shut.
The 139th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
The great Lenny Kravitz will be on the Phile in a few weeks. He's so cool.
Today's pheatured guest is a country musician based in Canada. He wears a fringed mask and has never shown his face. He released his debut album "Pony" in 2019, followed by the EP "Show Pony" this year, both available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Orville Peck.
Me: Hello, Oeville, thanks for being on the Phile. How are you?
Orville: I'm good, thanks for having me.
Me: So, what's the deal with the mask?
Orville: I always wear this mask.
Me: Okay, so, can I call you a country singer?
Orville: Country "star" actually.
Me: Ahhh. Okay. So, were you always a country music fan?
Orville: Since I was little, I grew up in a very creative household and I listened to all kinds of music. My father was a sound engineer for bands from the 60s and 70s. He did sound for bands like Suzi Quatro and Sweet. He used to love with Brian Johnson from AC/DC.
Me: So, did you know these people?
Orville: I'm not that old, Jason.
Me: I know, but my dad knew different music people as well and some of them I knew. So, is your dad still a sound engineer?
Orville: Yeah, but he's mostly doing film and TV now.
Me: So, what kinda music did you used to listen to?
Orville: A lot of glam rock and AC/DC and stuff like that. My mom played me a lot of "world music," music that is not Northern American.
Me: Like what?
Orville: I listened to a lot of African music growing up and a lot of 60s African pop and stuff like that. When I was a teenager I loved punk rock so I played in a bunch of punk rock bands.
Me: But nope you're a country singer, so where was that change?
Orville: All though out that I really loved country music. When I was younger I loved Dolly Parton and I kinda listened to a lot more female country when I was a kid and I think that is because I think they sang from a slightly more marginalized perspective and I felt more in touch with that whether than Waylon Jennings or something. The older I gotten I listen to a lot more Johnny Cash, Townes Van Zandt, things like that.
Me: I know people who love country music and people who don't like it. Why do you think people don't like it?
Orville: I think what people get wrong about country music is that people who don't listen to it, or don't like it, or don't like it probably because of class reasons. They associate it because of instrumentation, but if they like country music it's the greatest media for storytelling in the world.
Me: So, what do people, think about your music?
Orville: I always joke that my biggest critics are people that don't know anything about country music. I get some flack from some places that is what I'm doing country, is it authentic? All that kinda stuff. I have always thought as country as this massive genre. There's blue grass, there's Americana, folk music, alt-country... there's so much room for diversity within country music and I think it gets a bad rap because people have a certain idea of what they think country music is.
Me: So, what do you love the country music, Orville?
Orville: I always thought country music was exciting. I come from a theatrical background and I always loved the bold storytelling. The thing that really drew me to country to is we have these people like Merle Haggard and Porter Wagoner who is a pretty conservative guy but wearing bedazzled nudey suits and singing about their mothers. I think it's something I could sink my teeth into. It's amazing, its like John Waters, it's kinda cool. It's so theatrical and the word play... I think there's a lot of similarities between country music and rap, the word play and the wit and the sort of razzing each other. That all exists in country, I think country music is exciting. I don't know why anyone wouldn't be a fan of country music.
Me: So, album "Pony," is that a personal record that you sing about personal stuff?
Orville: It is. I'm sort of like a chatty introvert/extrovert I think. I'm an easy person to get along with people I think but it wasn't until I was much older I realized I was actually quite a closed person personally and it's not easy for me to talk about really personal stuff so I think this album was really cathartic for me in a way.
Me: Why is that?
Orville: Some of the things I sing about I never talked to anybody about and the things I've gone through and so that obviously was nerve-wracking. But It's been so incredible because performing that at shows, it could be a sold out show and everyone is singing along to the words and they're having a reaction and they're having a connection to it. It feels like group therapy now. It's just like this wonderful cathartic thing, but it's something I never experienced before actually.
Me: Okay, so, I need to talk about the mask some more. What's the real deal with it?
Orville: I want you to describe the mask, and I like how other people describe it and my music. I think it's interesting to leave it up to everyone's interpretation.
Me: Okay, so it's a Lone Ranger mask with fringe coming down. How's that?
Orville: You said "Lone Ranger" so that tells me something about you.
Me: I was gonna say Lone Ranger, Robin the Boy Wonder or Zorro.
Orville: I get varying responses about what people think.
Me: What do other people say about it?
Orville: You know, I don't like to taint it, I really like to keep it open. But people will say very different things about what they think it is. It's really interesting to me because it really tells me a lot about the person. It's the same as what people interpret what I sound like or people like to compare to stuff. I like to hear that.
Me: What my interoperation tells you is that I'm secretly 107-years-old. Hahahaha. I only like TV shows that used to be radio shows.
Orville: Well, now you you know why I wear a mask... I might be 107-years-old too.
Me: So, what does the mask do you creatively?
Orville: I have two kinda things about with the mask. One of them is kinda long winded thing about my philosophy behind the art form of masks, and the performance art form of masks and I trained in the Jacques Lecog mask studies for a few years. If anyone knows what that's about, it's about these varying degrees of masks that we do as a performer. One of them is called the neutral mask and that's what my mask is. It actually reveals more than it conceals. The basic philosophy is if people wear masks every day without wearing a mask so there's a lot of things we affect through our features and what we've trained ourselves to do that actually conceals he way we are feeling or the way we are in a lot of ways. So sometimes blocking out massive features on our faces it actually allows other people to see things about us that they wouldn't be able to see in other cases. It's a really cool art form and a lot of people are walking around with their faces blurred out and we start to notice things about people's mannerisms and I actually connects you to the person a lot quicker than if they're not wearing it which is fascinating.
Me: Connects how?
Orville: It connects people quickly I've experienced it in a room full of people of 800 people where I look at them in the eye and no one blinks and no one looks away and I could tell that they feel connected to me. It sounds super whatever but it's kinda like a magical thing. All of that being said my other stance on it I'm a country-western star and my mask is what it is. I think I live in a world where I think way too much about it and I also don't think about it at all.
Me: The mask has nothing to do with you singing personal songs?
Orville: No, it's kinda in a weird way coincidental. I'm not trying to keep anonymous but I will say it probably helped me feel a little bit of confidence to go out and sing super personal stuff to people. But I think it's helpful to actually it still gives me a lot more sincerity of stage because I feel I don't have to perform in a weird way. I can just kinda do it.
Me: What's your crowd like?
Orville: That's actually the best part of the tours we go on. We sold out shows practically the entire tour and me and my band played in lots of bands and toured a lot and I think the thing that everybody remarked on that was unique was the mix of people at every show. In the front row there would be a drag queen next to a put rocker next to some frat dudes, next to a mom and dad. Then there'll be an old country dude with a Stetson on. I mean it really is insane at the amount of different people that seem to like the album. I say that in a genuinely shocked would be the wrong word but...
Me: Are you surprised by it?
Orville: I'm not surprised because I believe so much in country music in general and storytelling and connectability of country music. I'm not shocked in sense but it's really gratifying I guess. It's really reassuring. We played in America that people might think are very conservative maybe. Like I said there will always be a drag queen at our shows, queer people and trans people coming up to me afterwards and telling me what I mean to them. It really is the best part about it. It seems to really connect with a lot of different people and everyone is so on board with it. We have people singing along and people dressing up. I've never been to a show where there's just a unique crowd and everybody can feel it. It's quite magical in the space and it's just cool.
Me: So, I love the song "No Glory in the West" from your new EP. What is the story behind that song?
Orville: "No Glory in the West" is the accompanying sister song to "Summertime" another song on the EP. Where "Summertime" is about biding our time and the positive side of that and "No Glory in the West" is sort of like is about sometimes you hope and something we're working hard for could be disheartening. And the road towards that could be really difficult.
Me: The EP is called "Show Pony," is there a relationship with the album "Pony"?
Orville: I've been doing that "Show Pony" is like the middle sister between "Pony" and what the next album will be. "Show Pony" is an evolution of what "Pony" was in a sense. In another way it has songs that could have existed on "Pony" as sell I think. With obviously the connection with the title I feel like "Show Pony" has ribbons in its hair, it had its mane curled and it's been judged up a but but at the end of the day it still kind of like the sad little pony. LOL. Maybe that's the image that comes to mind with this EP. But I do honestly believe that with my lyrics and my writing on this EP I felt like I had this big boost of encouragement in the confidence to go further with what I did on "Pony" and not really hold back. I think I've written my most personal songs on this EP I just tried to dive deeper I guess.
Me: You cover the Reba song "Fancy," and I admit you did a lot better version. Hahaha. Why that song though?
Orville: I first heard the Reba version and something really struck me about the story telling aspect of it. The drama of it, but also the kind of heartbreaking sincerity of it. Which is my favorite thing about country music in general is when those things collide. Then when I got older I discovered Bobbie Gentry and became such a fan of hers and came to find out that she'd written that song. Her version has this whole other feel to it as well It has that very atmospheric, almost beat poet 60s feel to it that totally transports me to a different version of that song. So I knew I wanted to do a studio version of my own for this EP because I think it's very important to continue the history of people covering that song I suppose. I felt like I wanted to pay tribute to the Bobbie version and have a little bit of bingos in there and things like that. But I also wanted to pay tribute to the Reba version and give it kind of a rock feel at heart. Then obviously I wanted to put my own twist on it and give it a dark sound and also give it a new queer perspective and change the pronouns up a little bit. Kind of with the hopes that ten years from now someone else would cover it and put their own spin on it and that song can continue to have this beautiful career that seems to have. It's actually the 50th anniversary of that song this year as well.
Me: Okay... so I am gonna say one word and say one word that comes to mind with the word. Shania.
Orville: Legend.
Me: Haha. That makes sense.
Orville: And "confusion."
Me: Ha! Why is that?
Orville: I'm still tryin to wrap my mind around the fact that is somebody I had the chance to meet in person, never mind work with on a song I wrote for them or be in their home It's just crazy to me.
Me: I know what you mean. For years I tried to get Shania on the Phile then this year it happened and she might be back on the Phile again soon. So, how did you end up working with her?
Orville: I heard that she's a fan of mine which is so crazy. I remember when I heard that I straight up told the person that told me that he was either lying or misinformed. I just didn't believe it. Then I kept hearing about it and so I started writing this song with Shania in mind because I always wanted to do some iconic collaboration or country duet because there's such rich history of that with country music especially. I was waiting for the kind of person that felt right. So I started writing this song with no intention that this would see the light of day or ever reach Shania to be honest. Cut to me at the Grammy's this year, at one of the commercial breaks I could hear someone calling my name, like yelling my name out. I turned around and Shania Twain in a bedazzled rhinestone gown is sharing down the aisle of the Grammy's and she's yelling "Orville" and she lifts me out of my chair and says she's such a big fan, she loves my voice and loves the song I wrote for us, she couldn't wait to start working on it. She thought it was so beautiful and I just levitated obviously. I don't know if I said anything back. I was so dumfounded and I actually left the Grammy's after that because I figured the night couldn't get any better. Cut to four months later I was at her ranch in Las Vegas we were riding her horses and hanging out and working on the song together. It's just ultra bizarre.
Me: That's so cool, Orville. Orville, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back again. Continued success. Happy Halloween.
Orville: Thank you, Jason.
That about does to for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Orville Peck for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with voice-over actor Larry Kenney. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Have a safe Halloween.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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