Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday... it's a new year. Can't believe it's 2020. It hot me today that both 1820 and 1920 had massive plague outbreaks. Hmmm. Something to look forward to, kids. The Pope was strolling around the Vatican on New Year's Eve, greeting and blessing the pilgrims who'd come to see him, when he mildly lost his shit and slapped a woman's hand away. In this screen shot below, you can see how the Pope greets several pilgrims, then turns away just before he reaches one woman.
Determine to speak to him, the woman grabs his hand and yanks him toward her. At this point, the 83-year-old loses his cool. He repeatedly smacks her hand away... while his security do... um... almost nothing... then turns and walk away with a look on his face similar to Tony Soprano after a hit. The slap lit up the Internet, and not just because New Year's Eve is a notoriously slow new day. The next day, on New Year's Day, the Pope addressed people assembled at a mass. “Love makes us patient," he said, according to CNN. "So many times we lose patience, even me, and I apologize for yesterday's bad example." He went on to speak out against violence toward women, saying, "Women are sources of life. Yet they are continually insulted, beaten, raped, forced to prostitute themselves and to suppress the life they bear in the womb. Every form of violence inflicted upon a woman is a blasphemy against God, who was born of a woman." How do you say "damage control" in Latin? Anyway, people on Twitter have many thoughts about the Pope Slap. Many seem to agree that the woman's grabbing of the Pope was over the line and could have seriously hurt him. But for some, not even the apology and the woman's seemingly aggressive actions make the slap okay. Others are jokingly feigning surprise that he hasn't slapped anyone else before. I think a slap was not the best way to handle the situation, but hey, 83-year-olds get freaked out by sudden movements. Still, he could've stopped and chatted with her maybe. Either way, 2020 is looking metal as hell.
When it comes to Christmas presents for her family, Kim Kardashian West spares no expense. This was evident when the socialite gifted her daughter North with the actual jacket Michael Jackson wore to Elizabeth Taylor’s party in 1997. Jackson’s jacket was reportedly purchased at an auction for $65,000. Merry Christmas! But the ostentatious gesture became part of a joke in which the gift was confused with the shirt that President John F. Kennedy wore when he was assassinated in 1963. More on that later. Many denounced Kardashian West’s present for the 6-year-old, who was not around during the King of Pop’s lifetime. But what further set people off was the fact that the media personality had the jacket altered to accommodate her daughter’s size. She explained, “We had it tacked up so she can wear it. The sleeves are half-tacked up so when she gets older, we can un-tack the sleeve and it can grow with her, so she can have this for her whole life.” “She’s so grateful and excited.” People noted the irony of North receiving an artifact worn by the iconic singer when Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris has to beg for some of her father’s clothes. Things went too far for some though when Twitter user @internetpain posted a photo of JFK’s bloody shirt to make it appear as though Kardashian West posted on her Instagram Story the item she bought for her daughter. BuzzFeed writer Nina Mohan discovered that Refinery29 took a screenshot of @internetpain’s tweet and incorporated it into an article titled “Kim Kardashian’s Christmas Gifts To North West Were Puzzling,” convincing readers Kardashian West gave her daughter JFK’s bloody shirt for Christmas. With things spiraling out of control, Kardashian West set the record straight once and for all by calling out Refinery29 for their false reporting as a “sick joke.”
Refinery29 has since modified its article by dropping the screenshot. The top of the updated article now reads, “This story has been updated from the original version. Earlier, it included a falsified Instagram image, which has been removed.” Fans and even those who have been silently judging the reality star for her past exploits came forward in support. But the actual gift for North was far from forgotten. One person’s humor is another person’s offense. But where is the line?
Let’s talk about sex. It’s hot, it’s sweaty and it can get very messy. Numerous inventions have cropped up over the years to improve sex, whether it be to prevent unwanted pregnancy, enhance performance or increase pleasure. Now there is a new invention out there to help clean up. The product is called Come&Gone and is made for people with vaginas after they have sex with someone with a penis. The entire concept is around unprotected sex without the use of the pullout method. According to the founder, Frances, “Come&gone was born out of a personal problem. A really, really personal problem. I was so tired of tactically rolling off the bed, sprinting to the bathroom, hovering over the toilet, and using gobs of toilet paper in an attempt to clean myself up after sex.” The result that Frances came up with is a sponge on a stick meant to be swirled around the vaginal canal post-coitus. Here's what it looks like...
The reactions to the product are less than kind. Quick PSA: The product has not been evaluated by the FDA. Despite the backlash on Twitter, the product has a 4.5/5 star review with 65 reviews. One particular review has stood out from the rest.
The first games of the college football playoffs were held on Sunday, December 29th. Sadly, as Louisiana State University prepared to face off against Oklahoma State, tragedy struck. A small plane flying in to watch the game crashed, killing five of its six passengers and critically wounding the sixth. Tragically, among the casualties was Carly McCord, a 30-year-old sports reporter and daughter-in-law of LSU’s offensive coordinator, Steve Ensminger. As the story broke live during pre-game coverage, ESPN announcer Matt Barrie addressed the situation in a way that garnered him widespread criticism on social media. As the camera showed an image of Ensminger, who chose to stay and coach the Tigers to victory, Barrie referred to “the distraction of losing his daughter-in-law.” Videos of Barrie’s comment quickly went viral, with many calling out his choice of words as inappropriate. Others, however, defended Barrie, saying his improvised statement was understandable. Meanwhile, Barrie continued to receive backlash for trivializing McCord’s death. There were definitely things Barrie could have said to avoid this online criticism. Barrie probably meant to show respect and likely wishes he could take back his words right now. Condolences to McCord’s entire family, who are surely working through a very difficult time.
Aside from the things that are still hard to process in The Rise of Skywalker, some Star Wars fans are hard at work in trying to check some details in the film. One thing that was noticed was Rey’s last scene in the movie, which was allegedly just recycled footage, but Episode IX editor Maryann Brandon tries to clear up this speculation. In the film’s last shot, Rey was seen at Tatooine along with BB-8 where she looks at the horizon while the twin suns were setting. This shot was seen as something awfully similar to the one used earlier in the film where Rey was waiting for Kylo Ren’s TIE fighter, which led some fans to believe that it was just a recycled footage. Here are the two shots...
In a recent interview with Comicbook, Brandon revealed that this wasn’t exactly the case. “That shot was shot in the desert where they shot the sequence on Pasaana, but it was shot for that shot,” she explained. “It was specifically shot for that and then ILM created a lot of that shot, so that’s a question for Roger Guyett and the artists at ILM, how they created it.” Brandon says she picked the shot of Rey, which she knows was filmed in the same desert. “It wasn’t already in the film, it was for that sequence,” she added. That being said, it wouldn’t be surprising to use recycled footage in the film. This kind of alteration is used by some to make the footage mend well with the other shots and to create a cohesive story. Plus, it’s basically just Daisy Ridley having the same stance on the desert, so it makes sense that the shots were very similar.
Do you guys watch "Maury"? Someone very familiar was on the latest episode...
Hahahaha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...
I think 2019 was the year of the memes for some reason. Some really went viral and took off.
Keanu Reeves memes won our hearts in 2019. Proving Keanu is a national treasure.
So, once in a while I make a mistake here on the Phile... but very rarely. Haha. It's been a desperately long decade with a lot of interesting, shocking, and tragic news. If someone told you in 2010 that reality TV millionaire trust fund baby Donald Trump would be president you probably would either laugh or run to Canada. When covering serious news, especially in light of the fake news disasters of 2016, it's critically important to get the facts straight. And, that means the true facts not the "alt-facts." Sometimes, though, editorial mistakes are undeniably hilarious. So, here's one from a story I mentioned at the top of the Phile...
So, it's fun to imagine telling people wrong facts. The Earth is melting, why not spice up our sad state to avoid becoming the hover-chair blob humans depicted in Pixar's Wall-E? It's not a harmful lie if it's hilarious, right?
Enjoy, future children everywhere! So, kids, this was the Apollo 11 crew...
Do you kids remember the "Gi Joe" books? I don't bit after I saw this one I wanna read it...
When I saw this it reminded me of something...
Then it hit me...
Okay, I know that's really lame. If I had a TARDIS I would and try to meet Amon Goeth. But knowing my luck I'd get there right before he was executed.
Actually, why on earth would I wanna meet him? Never mind... Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Jason Peverett's New Year's Resolutions
5. To stop typing "LOL" after every sentence. LOL
4. To be less of an outright ass and more of a secret ass
3. To be more patient. I hope I accomplish this as fast as possible!
2. To give up beer. Oops, I meant... to give up. Beer!
And my number one resolution is...
1.1080p
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Hey, it's Thursday. You know what that means...
That's fucking gross. I apologize. Okay, its time to talk football with my good friend Jeff.
Me: Happy New Year, Jeff! Welcome back to the Phile! How are you?
Jeff: Hey, Jason, I hope you and your readers and your awesome celebrity guests had an amazing New Year's Eve. Mine was laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Wait, I'm not a rapper. Still was laid back though.
Me: This sucks... The New York Giants have parted ways with head coach Pat Shurmur after just two seasons. Under Shurmur, the team went 9-23. Did you see this coming? I did not.
Jeff: I'm not sure that I saw that coming but I'm also not surprised. With a record like that in a big market like New York? You can't expect to hold your job. Though it wasn't all Shurmur's fault. Injuries to Jones and Barkley didn't help. Plus the trade of a top talent like Beckham? There was no one on the team that could put up the numbers he did.
Me: A “handful” of head coaching candidates are not interested in the job if Dave Gettleman is retained. So, what does that mean? Who do you think will be the coach?
Jeff: The Giants ultimately kept Gettleman. He'll probably be involved in the selection of a new coach. I wouldn't be surprised if they went out and offered an NCAA coach the position. Although I did show them my championship for the Lumbergh Steelers so I'm waiting to hear back if I got an interview!
Me: The Seahawks have learned their lesson… Likely a stipulation in Lynch’s contract, Marshawn was handed the ball on the 1-yard line against the 49ers Sunday night and went airborne for his first score back with his former team. What do you think?
Jeff: It's weird that he came back to Seattle after how ugly it was when he left. Sure, it's not as bad as when Richard Sherman left. There seems to be a little bit of toxicity in the air when it comes to Seattle. Lynch can't be blamed for that play though. The coach called it, not Marshawn.
Me: Okay, let's say it... Suck it, Cleveland. Freddie Kitchens is one and done in Cleveland. That's not surprising at all, is it?
Jeff: No, it's not surprising Freddie got fired. The team went 1-4 and in their last five games including the game against Pittsburgh where they lost that one too. So it's truly safe to say that not only did Pittsburgh start it (according to his shirt anyway), they ended his stint in Cleveland. And may I also add SUCK IT CLEVELAND! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! Plus who knows if Myles Garrett will get to start the season with them or if he's still suspended!
Me: Antonio Brown worked out for the New Orleans Saints last week and reports are now surfacing that the Saints were “blown away” by Brown’s workout and want to sign the free agent wide out. So, do you think he'll end up on the Saints?
Jeff: That is the rumor. They said his feet looked good and he had the correct helmet on which at this point is always a good sign. However, he was asked not to bring his entourage with him (he brought them) and he continues to run his mouth against former teammates so again I'd have to ask why anyone would want this locker room cancer on their team.
Me: What NFL news do you have?
Jeff: Black Monday, the first Monday after the end of the regular season where coaches get fired, was surprisingly quiet other than Fired Freddie and Shurmur. The Redskins have hired former Panther coach Ron Rivera to be their next coach. There is almost optimism in Washington for the first time in a while. Until opening kickoff in 2020 anyway.
Me: America has taken back another team from England and changed the name and the logo yet once again...
Me: What do you think?
Jeff: That may be the most creative logo we've seen. Connecticut is in the green!
Me: Okay, so, how did we do last week, Jeff? Both our teams are done for the season, which is sad.
Jeff: I'm sorry to tell you that your perfect week streak has ended! We had identical records in week 17 going 1-1 with our teams both losing. So I maintain an 8 point lead.
Me: Okay, so, I was thinking... as both our teams are out for the rest of the season let's pick three games for the wildcard pick. Whatcha say?
Jeff: So that's how you plan on catching up? Fine, we can pick three games in the playoffs for the first few rounds!
Me: Ha! Okay, I say Bills by 7, the bloody Patriots by 10 and Seahawks by 3. What do you say?
Jeff: I will say Saints by 5, Houston by 4 and Seahawks by 5!
Me: Okay, Jeff, I will see you back here next Thursday. Have a good week.
Jeff: See you next week!
This clap-back is a family affair. So, a friend of the Phile has a pretty crazy life. Something happened the other day to him that I wanted him to come on to the Phile and tell us. He's a singer, patriot, and renaissance man. You know what time it is...
Start of my day... get to train so I can head out east to spend the day with loved ones... coffee in hand. Only other person at the station is a still drunk 40-something woman who’s literally just finished her “walk of shame” from the cab to the station. She stands two meters away from me (even though there’s nobody else around) and starts singing.. “Smiiiiiiile... though your heaaaart is breaking...” Very badly, I might add. I look up at her and nod, she says, “What has you out, this time of day?” Then belches like a sailor in a dive bar. "Me? I’m just here collecting data for a book I’m working on about the dating habits of promiscuous, drunken women who are way past their prime.” She said, "Well, you don’t have to be a dick about it... what’re you, gay or somethin’?” "Yep, but at least I didn’t have to blow my cab driver for the fare. Happy New Year... now run along.” And how did YOUR new decade begin?
Hahaha. I wish I could've seen her. And I don't think Laird is really gay. So, the 111th book, and the first for the year to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
This is pretty amazing. Elton John will be on the Phile this coming Monday. I think that's crazy! I am so excited! Now for some sad news...
Don Larsen
August 7th, 1929 — January 1st, 2020
First phamous dead person of the year, and it's a Yankee. Man, 2020 is looking good already.
September 22nd, 1942 — January 1st, 2020
NBA commish for 30 years and only had FOUR lockouts! Talk about your overachiever!
Phact 1. There has been a Raisin Cartel managed by the U.S. federal government since 1949. It would steal raisins, by force even, from farmers to keep prices high. It finally got taken down recently by the Supreme Court.
Phact 2. Jawbreakers have been known to explode when left out in the sun, causing serious injuries. This is because of the layers of candy within heat at different rates.
Phact 3. There is a word: “Mamihlapinatapai," from the Yaghan language, which is considered the most succinct and hardest word to translate. It means “a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin.”
Phact 4. In the 19th century, there was a female Hassidic Rebbe in Ukraine.
Phact 5. Demi-Lee Brennan is the first liver transplant patient to switch blood groups, at an estimated odds of 6 billion to 1. The switch in blood type means the 15-year-old no longer requires life-long consumption of immunosuppressant drugs which are used to stop the body from rejecting a new organ.
Today's pheatured guest is an American singer-songwriter whose latest album "Know" is available on iTunes, Spotify and Amazon. He's a pretty positive person so I thought I should start this year on the Phile with someone who is positive. Please welcome to the Phile... Jason Mraz!
Me: Hey, Jason, welcome to the Phile. My name is Jason as well. How are you?
Jason: Great to be here, Jason As Well.
Me: Ha. Jason, where are you from? California somewhere, right?
Jason: I was born and raised in Mechanicsville, Virginia but moved to San Diego later on.
Me: That's where you first started to perform, right?
Jason: Yeah, I was a busker playing for change on the streets in San Diego.
Me: Ahhh. Okay. So, I love the song "Have It All" from your latest album "Know." How did you write such a happy song? I write songs and happy songs are hard to write.
Jason: I'm always looking for a happy song and it's really not easy to write a happy, positive song that sounds authentic. So I'm on a trip in 2012 to Myanmar to do a concert there to raise awareness to end exploitation in human trafficking. While there I met some beauty people and the common greeting among the Buddhist people over there is "tashi delek" and that was translated to me as "may you have auspiciousness and causes of success." I thought wow, what a beautiful thing to say to a total stranger. So I wrote it down in my journal and almost immediately tried to clone that phrase over and over in rhyme. Just delighted by it more than anything, A few months later I was in the studio with David Hodges, the producer and we started writing a new song on the lighter side and I said, "Hey, I got some great verses." We created most of "Have It All" that day in the studio but it didn't fit in my 2014 album "Yes!" so I turned a page in my notebook and forgot about the song. Summer 2017 I rediscovered it and shared it with my band Raining Jane and we brought it up to speed, I wrote a new bridge for it and new chorus.
Me: So, what is the song about?
Jason: We just thought the song is a good message for the time. We want to be good role models for young people and remind them that the future isn't written yet and that whatever they dream they truly can have it all.
Me: Okay. I started to write a song the other day called "This Is My Happy Song." Haha. My last music project called Null & Void didn't have a lot of "happy" songs. I hear "Have It All" played at graduations and weddings, Jason. Did you think of that?
Jason: Yeah, that was my thought. Who I was in the middle of writing the bulk of it I felt that this is a toast, this could be at a wedding or a retirement party or a graduation. I love a good commencement speech. I'll just a spend few hours on YouTube listening to great commencement speeches just to get myself motivated. Now that the song is out os great to hear audiences really chanting some of these lyrics. It's really cool.
Me: This is not the first time this happened, right? Many of your songs have gone on and done that. If any of my readers have been to a wedding or anniversary party in the last few years, chances are they've heard some of your music. Songs like "I'm Yours" or "I Won't Give Up" have become staples when expressing joy and love.
Jason: I've been very lucky to have songs connect.
Me: So, what was the first song you've ever learned to play on guitar? Do you remember?
Jason: I do remember that. It's one that requires only one finger. It was Dave Matthews Band, "Typical Situation." A friend of mine showed me that and I said, 'Wait, I can play guitar?' I'd played a little piano growing up, but this was the first time someone had actually showed me how the guitar works. I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm playing guitar and I'm singing!" So that set me free. It was a revelation. From then on I asked for my chords, I said, "Show me more chords. Show me something." Any time I learned a chord I think E minor was the first chord I learned and A minor.
Me: So, when did you start writing your own songs?
Jason: I felt like learning other people's songs was just a huge mountain to climb. But if I just started singing, now I had a song. Because it's mine you can't tell me that it's wrong. So, it was just like that, I started making stuff up. And I got lost in it.
Me: So, I don't think I ever asked this question to anyone before but it's a new year... How do you cope with the dark side of success and the loneliness of the road?
Jason: I surround myself with positive people, and people that care about me, and that's what I hope... that's what I wish for emerging artists or those artists who are on top... that they're surrounded by positive influences. My manager for the last 18 years turned me on to yoga and health food and surfing and taking time for myself and going to nature and meditation and those things that I knew nothing about when I first started my career. And I'm so grateful that I had a teacher. And through him I met many great teachers. Certainly through yoga I'm going to meet myriad teachers who are going to teach me about strength and cultivating happiness and peace.
Me: Is there anybody you worked with that I might know who also helped you?
Jason: Recently I worked with Meghan Trainor on this new record and she is also one that surrounds herself with positive people, loved ones, people that really support her needs. Not just flood her with pharmaceuticals or just say yes to every request. But one thing that she shared with me, and this is not to be gossip, but she said a lot of the artists that she knows who are traveling out there are using pharmaceuticals to stay focused, to stay sharp, to fulfill all the demands and tasks and that really makes me nervous.
Me: Why is that?
Jason: Because A) these are role models. They should be doing what they can to show that ANYONE can love a happy, healthy life and success, that it's not just about money and drugs. But I really truly fear for their health and sanity because it's a loooonnnggg journey. The career is a long journey, its their whole life essentially if it was meant to be.
Me: So, Jason, what's the secret? Why are you different? You remind me of my dad who pretty much had the same philosophy as you do.
Jason: I learned after only probably two years of constant touring that I was fatigued, I was depressed, and I was losing my voice a lot. I was getting sick a lot. I said, oh okay, junk food, alcohol, cigarettes is not sustainable if I want to really have a long life and sing pretty. I got to take care of myself.
Me: You have a pretty good career going as well, right?
Jason: Yeah, I put out my 6th album, I'm 40 plus, I definitely don't feel like look at me, young ego 20-year-old rapping and dancing, listen to my pretty song. I would rather if they are going to look to me, or if any young person is going to look to me, I would rather lead by example and offer a different path. At least a path to happiness and substantial peace.
Me: You have a song on the "Know" album called "Might As Well Dance." What inspired this one?
Jason: Oh, my wife. In our engagement we signed up for a Fred Astaire dance studio, you know one of those. We could learn the basic steps so we can have a nice night on our wedding. While in Nashville writing some country music songs I wrote this little ditty late at night and sang to on her voice mail and just surprised it ended up on the record some months later.
Me: Jason, I think you're the most positive person I know, or have ever interviewed. You can't possibly always be that positive, right?
Jason: Well, the thing is I'm not.
Me: You are in the songs.
Jason: Because I "arrive" there.
Me: So, you go home and yell and beat a pillow or something?
Jason: No, actually at home I don't do too much of the yelling. But when I'm in a hotel room I might wake up on the wrong side of the bed and be pessimistic about my day and look at my schedule and think oh, man, I got to go and do this and this and this. My story that I tell myself a lot is that I'm missing something, or I'm supposed to be somewhere else and that takes me out of the moment. and through conscience language which I put in my sings I'm able to transform my life experience and BECOME a positive person. It's not that I always have rainbows coming out of my ass.
Me: What happens when you're having a really shit day and you have to go out on stage and sing these songs?
Jason: That happens to me. I have plenty of days when I'm like I do not want to be here but the songs actually bring me back. The songs are what I end up paying attention to other than the conflicts in my inner dialogue. The songs become my mantras, they become my message that take the place of my doubts and they become my strengths.
Me: So, I have to ask about the band Raining Jane, who is a band of females... good looking ones as well. Congrats. Hahaha. How did you first get together with them?
Jason: When I first heard them play in my head I said "yes, these girls are killing it." I asked them to come over and jam and they said yes and years of yes's got us to all this material, we pitched it to the label as an idea for an album and they said yes so there were all this yes's that allowed the marriage of Jason and Raising Jane to happen.
Me: And the prior album to "Know" was "Yes!" When you write what kind of mood do you have to be in? I'm guessing a good mood?
Jason: Yes, I have to be in the mood and it's a creative process. I'm going to either seduce my instrument or my own ear with these sounds and these ideas. I have to be in the mood to do that, to create something. Otherwise if I'm not in the mood I'm going to have dialogue in my head that's "you're not in of the mood to do this, man. Get out. Go somewhere else, don't write songs, you're terrible." That's not going to help me.
Me: Your fan base I'm sure covers a big age range. Is that important to you?
Jason: Inclusivity is important to me. I have even become less gender specific through the years as well. When I first started writing I thought to myself could someone in Korea like this song? Let's say English isn't their first language, could they feel me? That was about 20 years ago when I didn't even understand my songs. But I would that the melodies and the rhythms and the spirit of the songs was enough to make a connection. Then through the years as practicing songwriting and practicing performing I feel like I've written the same record every time but I'm able to simplify my message every time. So on this album I'm trying to include all the universality of love and compassion and healing, faith and friendship.
Me: Jason, that's cool. Thanks so much for being on the Phile, starting off 2020. Please come back again soon, I hope this was fun.
Jason: Thank you, Jason. Have a great year.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile, kicking off 2020. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz, Laird Jim and of course Jason Mraz. The Phile will be back on Monday with the one and only... ELTON JOHN! I cannot believe it! Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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