Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Last week, Teen Vogue writer and comedian Gabe Bergado tweeted something that changed the Internet's perception of Elizabeth Warren forever.
Warren's team quickly picked up on the favorable comparison. McGonagall is a no-nonsense pragmatist who becomes headmaster of Hogwarts after Dumbledore's death. She presides over the school as the wizarding world is thrown into chaos by Voldemort and his supporters' dark activities. Sound at all familiar? Bergado's observation struck a chord with Twitter. For one thing, Warren herself responded!
Thank you, Gabe, for identifying why Liz's glasses and authoritative demeanor seemed so familiar. Note to self: don't forget to do your Transfiguration homework!
Barack and Michelle Obama have famously good taste in music. It's a known fact. So when they shared their summer 2019 playlist on Twitter Saturday, everyone took notice.
A Good Samaritan has already compiled the playlist on Spotify, so you can listen ASAP. With forty-four tracks in total (get it?), it clocks in at almost three hours... the perfect soundtrack to a late-summer barbecue, beach trip, or rooftop party. It features plenty of contemporary and vintage R&B, rock, and hip hop jams. Personally, I'm thrilled by the inclusion of the Rolling Stones, and Phile Alum Toots & the Maytals. The Obamas' dispatch, per Barack's Twitter account, didn't disappoint.
Fox Nation personality Tomi "Tammy" Lahren lit up the Internet last week, but this time it wasn't for an incendiary remark or misguided political take. She debuted her new athleisure line Freedom in partnership with Alexo Athletica. Just what the free market wanted: Lulelemon, but make it Kaitlin Bennett. Wait, sorry, there's absolutely zero consumer demand for that? Interesting. I guess not many women want to brand themselves as regressive dipshits at yoga class. Tomi bravely overcame obstacles like her personality and lack of fashion expertise to deliver a line of generic athleisure that's vaguely patriotic. Hers's the ad for it...
I want to do the commercial for it. Ahem. For Trump supporters who demand both comfort and to speak to the manager. Our material is stain and logic resistant. At Freedumb, we know that racist diatribes and Twitter outrage can be a real workout. That's why there's Freedumb by Tawdry Lapdance. Welcome to the fashion world, Tawny! Watch out for models' sharp elbows and mean gay stylists, both of which are cutting.
It was Anti-Semitism week last week at the White House, as the president is on a tear questioning Jews' loyalty (a classic anti-semitic tune) and declaring himself the "second coming of God." It's another chapter in Trump's long history of anti-semitism that Republicans insist that should be ignored, because Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner exist. Jewish groups are speaking out against the president, and rabbis are slamming his ignorant, dangerous attempt at theology. Meanwhile, two high-profile Jews are conspicuously silent. Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are Modern Orthodox Jews, despite not following the central Jewish commandment of "Thou shalt not empower Neo-Nazi movements." Ivanka's job in the administration is to be a human Poo-Pourri toilet spray trying to mask the smell of white supremacy. She often functions as her father's human shield against evidence of misogyny and antisemitism, but throughout this difficult week for American Jews, they have gone missing. In a scathing monologue, Anderson Cooper called out Ivanka for conveniently disappearing at this uncomfortable moment. "Ivanka Trump must be very proud of her dad tonight," he said. "And you can probably just watch for an Ivanka leak in the coming days about how she tried to talk her father, you know, to change that kind of language. It’s a classic Ivanka move." People on Twitter have noticed their absence, too. How hard is it to to type "that was anti-semitic, and it was wrong"? I literally just did.
Karamo Brown may be the culture expert on "Queer Eye," but he's really out-of-touch with one major facet of the zeitgeist. Despite being in the prime of his career with "Queer Eye"'s popularity at its peak, Karamo has decided to compete on "Dancing with the Stars," a destination for washed-up public figures and Palins. Joining Karamo is Donald Trump's former Minister of Propaganda, ex-White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. Spicy has been forgotten because he is sooooo two press secretaries ago, but he did immense damage to democracy, lying out his ass about Trump's inauguration crowd size on day one and defending the Muslim Ban. The guy who called concentration camps "Holocaust centers" and continues to fundraise for Trump's reelection now has the opportunity to tango for redemption (and a six-figure salary) and people are pissed. "To treat Spicer, and his reason for notoriety, as a harmless joke is to whitewash the harm of what he did, which was to say things so absurdly false that he invited his political side to join him in denying their own eyeballs, to encourage people to believe that facts don’t matter if they hurt your team," James Poniewozik wrote in The New York Times. Karamo, however, is cool with befriending a fascist footsoldier, and defended Spicer as a "sweet guy." First, on Twitter, Karamo said that the "only way things get better is if we try to educate those who have different POV than us," as if competing against each other in tap-dancing contest would make Spicer less of a homophobe. "First, I have no say who is on the cast and didn’t find out till this morning that he is on! But I’ll tell you this... I’m excited to sit down with him and engage in a respectful conversations. Only way things get better is if we try to educate those who have different POV than us." Then, in an interview with "Access Hollywood," he said that Spicer is "a good guy, a really sweet guy." The defense is rather unconvincing to many. Queer Eye Hip Tip: Don’t be friends with fascists.
Instead of doing this blog I should be chilling and listening to this record...
Maybe not. If I had a TARDIS I would probably end up a this old gothic looking haunted house...
And we all know what happens there, right. Do you know your neighbors? I don't know mine. Anyway, ever receive a note like this from a neighbor of yours?
Haha. Have you heard about this so-called Popeye's vs. Chick-fil-A war on chicken sandwiches? I haven't tried the Popeye's chicken sandwich yet because I love Chick-fil-A so much. Anyway, this is what Chick-fil-A tweeted the other day...
Ha! I thought KFC's new ad wis kinda odd but relevant...
Hahahahaha. Speaking of food, did you see the new kind of Hot Pocket that just came out?
Yum! Gag! If you know me you'll know usually I just wear t-shirts, shirts, Converse or flip flops and once in a while I might wear a baseball cap. I am thinking of changing up my look though. How about something like this?
Hmmm... never mind. So, at the D23 convention in California they revealed the title of the next Spider-Man movie.
Haha. So, one of the best things about the Internet is you can see porn so easy and for free. But the problem is if you're at school or work you can get in trouble. I don't want that to happen so I came up with a solution.
You're welcome. Now for new pheature simply titled...
And it's true: Obama economy outdoes Trump's, especially now that a crash is allegedly looming. Okay, so, do you have kids? How are they? There's this one kid that causes sooooo many problems, she's kinda uncontrollable. She's been on the Phile before and wanted to stop by and tell us what she did recently. So, please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hey, Awful, welcome back to the Phile. How are you? Shouldn't you be in school?
Awful: Shut up, Peverett. You're not my dad.
Me: True. So, what's going on?
Awful: I was suspended from school if you must know.
Me: Ummm... why?
Awful: I tried to strangle my sister and a couple weeks later lied to the school about me being abused, leading to a full blown investigation.
Me: Oh, man, that's not good, Awful. So, how did they find out you lied?
Awful: They discovered from my so-called friends that I lied. While packing my things they discovered that I had been stealing opiates, and alcohol.
Me: Awful! That's crazy! You have to be careful.
Awful: Whatever. Fuck this shit, I am outta here.
Me: Awful, the rudest most asshole kid ever.
She used to let her phone sleep in her lap. Now she’s forced to let her kid sleep there because god forbid she moves and wakes him up! Kudos to that baby for some killer form.
Me: Hey, Ed, how are you?
Ed: I'm doing great, dude. I just loaded my fridge.
Me: Loaded your fridge? With what?
Ed: Do you wanna see?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Ed: Okay. Check this out...
Ed: It's like a dream come true!
Me: Ummm... I guess. Yeesh.
Ed: What's in your fridge, man?
Me: Ummm... I'll show a pic of what's in my fridge at the end of this entry.
Ed: Cool, dude. Alright, I am go. See ya around.
Me: Okay. Ed Enistink, the guy who lives in the 90s, kids. That was really, really lame.
Almost three years into this whole President Trump catastrophe, you'd think we'd have lost our ability to be surprised, but then the guy goes ahead and calls himself the Messiah. Last Tuesday, Trump made a blatantly anti-semitic remark in the Oval Office, accusing Jews who support Muslim Congresswomen and the Democratic Party of being "disloyal." Accusing Jews of disloyalty is part of a proud anti-semitic tradition that goes all the way back to the Persian Empire. The 80% of Jews who vote Democratic... and all Jews who hate to see the President of the United States evoke anti-Semitic tropes... condemned the comment, and to try to redeem himself, Trump cited a conspiracy theorist and declared himself King of the Jews in his morning tweet storm. Trump quoted Wayne Allyn Root, a conspiracy theorist who not only spells "Allen" wrong but also insists that Charlottesville was a hoax, who argue that Israeli Jews see Trump as "the second coming of God." Note: Jews don't see him as a second coming... they don't even believe in a "first coming"! Rabbis, who unlike Trump and the conspiracy guy are actual authorities on all things Jewish, have condemned the tweets as utterly insane. The profound ignorance of what Jews believe, combined with the fact that he is using Jews as a prop through which to appeal to his evangelical base, has upset rabbinical authorities. It's quite disturbing. Incidentally, while he's lamenting how being the second coming of Christ fails to win over Jewish voters, his administration is moving to concentrate kids in camps indefinitely. If you want the majority of Jews to like you, it would be a good idea not to put people you find inferior and un-American in concentration camps. Something Trump can do to make 80% of Jews applaud him is resign.
The 104th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Tippi will be the guest on the Phile in a few weeks. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
The Top Phive Signs You're Flying On A Bad Airline
5. The engine's being held on by duct tape.
4. Instead of peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.
3. Pilot informs you that you're at cruising altitude and he's gonna put the top down.
2. As you're taking off, the flight attendant mentions the phrase "Guest Pilot Program."
And the number one sign you're flying on a bad airline is...
1. The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.
Today's guest was the bass player and lead singer for the English rock band the Outfield, who are best know for the song "Your Love." He has a new solo album called "Out of the Darkness" that is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Tony Lewis.
Me: Hey, Tony, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Tony: I'm good.
Me: So, all these years I thought the Outfield was an American band. With a name like Outfield, but you were a British band. Do you get that a lot, or am I the only dumbass?
Tony: Haha. I know the song "Your Love" gets played in American football stadiums. Nope, I'm British.
Me: Well, that makes two of us. Okay, I love your new solo album "Out of the Darkness." Was it hard to begin again after your loss of John Spinks?
Tony: Well, it came out in July four years after his passing, and I took a hiatus really. Basically my wife said to me why don't I start recording again, doing what I did best. Up to that point I did not want to pick a guitar up, let alone sing or anything. I just couldn't do anything. I started going to my home studio putting backing tracks together, but I was struggling with the lyrics and stuff. The first three songs I wanted to keep it in the spirit of the Outfield, but to show people after that it's my spin on it, because people have known me as the singer and the bass player for the Outfield, I wanted people to know I was standing in the spotlight now. I produced and played the guitars and with the help of Carol's lyrics it involved from there.
Me: Did you have the Outfield's drummer play on the album or is that too much?
Tony: I told Alan I've got a deal and he was really pleased for me. He knew I like drum programming and stuff and he he was fine with not being on the album. After John's passing I said the Outfield doesn't exist anymore. John is not around. That's why I call myself Tony from the Outfield, I don't want to be called the Outfield. If I used Alan that would be the Outfield. I drew the line there, I wanted to do this on my own.
Me: Did you do the main songwriting in the band or did John do it?
Tony: To be honest John was the prime songwriter, though I did co-write a couple songs. I never did like my songs, I was critical of my own songs. I used to come in from a different angle when I approached songs. John was very structured with major chords and I'd be more minor chords and bit darker. We picked up production skills along the way, we asked when we left MCA, we produced albums together. We made albums our own selves, mainly for our own enjoyment, not for the fact we had to keep making albums. We just liked making music together. The last album we did, "Replay," he played bass and I played guitar. We coached each other through that.
Me: Okay. So, what can you tell anybody about John that didn't know him musically?
Tony: He had a very John Lennon buzzsaw voice. He could sing lower than I could sing. We had just different scales. We had harmonies, that's how they worked. I don't know if you know the song "Closer to Me" from the album "Rockeye," it sounds like there's 30 voices but it's only 8 tracks. His voice and my voice really, really worked.
Me: Listening to the Outfields music and your new solo album, the music is very similar, don't you think?
Tony: Yeah, the first three songs I wanted to be like the spirit of the Outfield, after that I wanted it to be my own spin. This is me now, this is what I can do, I hope you like it.
Me: You mentioned Carol, that's your wife, right? Did you always write music with her?
Tony: Yeah, she says to me everyday she doesn't know how this album came together. What I did was backing tracks, I started off doing couple of songs and I was just trying to get a publishing deal, get a little bit useful in the industry. The said I should start recording and I just I was struggling with the lyrics. Carol is very good at writing a story and she had some songs and I said let's try these songs. I arranged them pretty much how we would do an Outfield song with the choruses and melody. First and foremost if I wanted to get back on radio I have to leap out the speakers the first five seconds.
Me: True. So, how did you two work together?
Tony: Sometimes I'll sit at the computer and I'll play the acoustic and we'll do a song from scratch from her words. It all seemed to just develop. There's very few songs that we three away at the end. It wasn't stressful at all.
Me: So, what was it like going back on stage and playing?
Tony: I hadn't been on stage in 14 years so getting on stage for the first time was pretty mind blowing for me. For 40 years I had been playing with John. To look over and not see him there was bittersweet for me. I was excited to get back there again and see the fans and tell them thanks for supporting me and hopefully made some new ones.
Me: When you do concerts now do you do Outfield stuff or solo stuff?
Tony: I'm basically at the mercy of the promoters. If I got to do four songs and then got off I'll just do that. I sing primarily Outfield stuff and then try to get one of my new ones in. I keep saying to people that interview me that when I go see Sting I want to hear him sing "Message in a Bottle," I like hearing the Police stuff. My approach to "Your Love" and "All the Love In the World," is I still get a buzz singing those songs live.
Me: When the Outfield first became really big what was that like for you?
Tony: The thing is that people think we were an overnight success when the first tour we did in America was a budget tour. We had no money, and a fifteen seater mini bus. We were playing with the Hooters in Philadelphia, and "Say it Isn't So" was out first single from "Play Deep." It did well in different territories but it wasn't like a major success. When we went home in '85 for the first time for a couple of weeks we were asked to go back out on tour again "Your Love" was released on AOR radio, to keep us on the radio and in people's minds. From that January, February and March the song had a life of its own and it grew and grew and grew. That period alone was quite exciting.
Me: Were you driven by money back then?
Tony: No, we weren't. We were driven by the music. Playing in bars in front of thirty people in Chicago and coming back playing at the Cubs stadium. That for me was thrilling, not that I could buy a nice house or buy a nice car. It was the thrill of being in a successful band with my best mates.
Me: What was it like when your second album, "Bangin'" came out?
Tony: To be honest any young band starting out now if they got a gold record would say their dreams would be answered. We always kept our feet on the floor. There was a thing called the "sophomore jinx" every band suffers from it. Any band feels under pressure they got to bring out another "Hysteria," so to speak. We went from doing a pop album to say let's do a rockier album. Even having gold record was an amazing feat. We were very more than pleased.
Me: Good. Then at the end of the 80s you had the album "Voices of Babylon." What was it like with that album? The bands music was slightly changing then, right?
Tony: What it was the label was slightly leaning on us to do be a little different, maybe more sophisticated, more poppy. If we brought out another rock album or another "Play Deep" people would think we were a one trick pony. We had to do something a bit more slicker, David Kahne came in who was working with the Bangles, and we were getting familiar with sequenced drums and programming. We were very conscious as well to keep our spirit in there. I think that album is great with the first four or five songs on that album, I'm very proud of it. Basically we were told it'll be nice if we did something a bit more grown-up, but mores sophisticated.
Me: The band took a break I think in the 90s. What happened and what did you do then?
Tony: I think there's a misconception that when bands don't have an album that's successful, nine times out of ten people are not buying it or people are really that impressed with it, they still keep making music because they love doing it. One thing we not stopped loving, we have not stopped loving making music and that's how this album of mine came about. If I don't like what I'm doing and I think that's what people want to hear I'm fooling myself really. After we left MCA we'd go to each others houses and record. Thank God the Internet came in and John was able to send me backing tracks, and that's how "Replay" came about. We asked Alan if he'd like to play drums on it, and we were always collaborating and doing stuff. It's just our favourite hobby, we never stopped doing it.
Me: Oh, okay. But you had a 15 year gap between Outfield albums. Were you writing that time? What made you guys release an album then?
Tony: Being in that big machine with Sony and MCA, we were so used to getting that big attention and now the music industry changes and we have to aim our sights a bit lower, we were just pressing CDs ourselves, and to be honest with you we were just pleasing ourselves. The industry had changed so much that I was told I could get a licencing deal. I didn't know what that means. We were just making music, getting it put on a CD and in stores.
Me: What do you think of the current music industry?
Tony: I can't get my head around that okay, music is going to have to be streamed. As long as it gets heard and gets on the radio and people can buy it or whatever, or get it on Spotify, I don't care. There's albums coming out on vinyl now which is like one extreme to the other. To me vinyls are good because I can appreciate the artwork. With the covers and I have something physical in my hand.
Me: I like CDs and vinyl myself. So, I only know a few Outfield songs, Tony. Is there one that is your favorite or I should know about?
Tony: That's like trying to pick your favourite child, isn't it? I love all the Outfield songs, I'm proud of all of them so I wouldn't say there's one particular song I'm proud of more than the others. We did a song called "Winning It All." I was singing it in the vocal booth and John said I've really got to nail that song, otherwise we'd just have to scrap it because he said I was going through the motions. There was this big fight and he said I was going out for an hour and he'll come back and we'll have a look at it. I was so determined I was going to nail that song. I nailed that song while he wasn't there and he came back and said it was amazing. I remember that day so well. It's used on Larry Bird's video. We used the spirit of "Jump" from Van Halen. That was one of my proudest days, doing that song.
Me: Cool. Okay, who are your musical influences?
Tony: I'm a very big fan of Jon Anderson from Yes. I like his voice and when you think like in rock and pop there are very few voices that are out there still out there. Robert Plant can't hit those notes he did in the Led Zeppelin days. I'm a big fan of Rush as well, I like their rhythm section. Neil Peart and Geddy Lee are probably the best rhythm section around. All those influences and the Beatles, Journey, Boston, Kinks, Thin Lizzy, box them all up. I was lucky to grow up in that time period and be influenced by those bands. In a conscious effort it's what organically happens I suppose.
Me: What's one of the biggest highlights of our career?
Tony: You got me there. Let me think. We have never been to Trinidad before and we went to the Port of Spain in Trinidad and there was this big cricket ground and there was like 45,000 people there. That's probably like the biggest crowd we've ever played to and we played with Air Supply and Survivor. It rained that day and they had to cover the whole cricket ground the next day because the grass was totally ruined. With this new chapter I'm quite excited, it's a whole new thing for me. I think even Neil Gallagher was scared, he didn't have his brother with him. Having a solo career makes me a bit infallible. I'm keeping my feet on the ground and taking it one day at a time.
Me: That's cool, I'm sure the Outfield fans love your new album. Thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again soon and continued luck.
Tony: Thank you, mate.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Tony Lewis for a cool interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with legendary music composer Danny Elfman. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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