Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile. Happy Valentine's Day! Saint Valentine was eventually imprisoned, beaten, stoned, and beheaded. They don't tell you that on the cards. Ladies, are you single this Valentine's Day? Just think... the best part of being single on Valentine's Day is not having to shave your legs.
Valentine's Day caters to stable, long-term couples while the rest of you are just counting the minutes until the nightmare is over and the chocolates go on sale. The streets are crawling with couples in love and the pharmacy aisles are crawling with romantic gifts and sappy cards for people in committed relationships. But what if you're single? Just started seeing someone and haven't had "the talk"? Or you're just bored of the same old "card & chocolates" routine? Then the Bronx Zoo's Name a Roach program might be just what Cupid ordered. Veering from tired tradition, the program lets you name one of the Zoo's Madagascar hissing cockroaches after your sweetie (or ex-sweetie), who will receive a digital certificate of confirmation. All for the tune of only $15. This is a gift that works for everyone... whether it's a guy you met on Tinder, your husband of 88 years, your dirtbag ex Ethan, or even you! Why a roach, specifically, you may ask? Because roaches invade your life and never leave no matter how many times you fumigate the house. Just like love!!!!!!!! As the website explains, "After the chocolates have been eaten and the flowers wilt, roaches remain thriving and triumphant. If there was ever an outside-the-box way to immortalize your thriving and triumphant love (or hate), it's this." And no worries if you're currently swinging single, this gift also works for past sweeties. No matter how messy your breakup, naming a cockroach after your ex is the perfect way to say "just wanted you to know, even though we broke up years ago, I still think of you and wish you nothing but the worst." And for those willing to dish out more than $15 for the person who makes your heart go badump-badump there's also a VIP package which includes an adorable roach beanie and roach mug along with the naming certificate. Can you think of anything more romantic????????? If you're lucky enough to have someone to name a roach after, head over to the Bronx Zoo website before every roach is named. I might order a roach for my ex... Ha!
For the first time in forever, fans have been treated to new footage from the Frozen universe, and the true love is thawing even the most cynical tweeters' hearts. Since the first Frozen was released in 2013, it inspired countless YouTube videos of kids singing "Let It Go" and a #GiveElsaAGirlfriend hashtag campaign to make the coming out anthem canon. The teaser shows a superheroic Elsa, in pants, taking on the WHOLE DAMN OCEAN, which, as you may recall, was the force of nature that killed both her parents in a shipwreck. Not only does Elsa wear pants, but she also wears a blazer. Fans are also taking the opportunity to pray that Queen Elsa will be openly gay. Co-director Jennifer Lee hinted at possibly making the Queer Elsa dream a reality, telling The Huffington Post that she was at least open to the idea. "I love everything people are saying [and] people are thinking about with our film... that it's creating dialogue, that Elsa is this wonderful character that speaks to so many people. It means the world to us that we're part of these conversations," she said. "Where we're going with it, we have tons of conversations about it, and we're really conscientious about these things." The trailer also features a glimpse at new characters checking out the foliage in what appears to be an autumn in New England. Did Elsa enroll at liberal arts college and meet her autumn equivalent? Kristen Bell, the voice of Anna, replied to a Give Elsa A Girlfriend tweeter with an intriguing "Hmmmm."
If not Elsa's girlfriend... could it be Elsa's niece? People skeptical that Disney would actually have the balls to include an LGBTQ love story. The live-action Beauty and the Beast made headlines for featuring the first ever "gay moment" in a Disney movie. The much-hyped "gay moment" turned out to be a two-second dance between LeFou and a French guy, but maybe Josh Gad's latest Disney movie will give us more to work with? The excitement over the trailer, however, is enough to piss off homophobes. Mike Pence is inevitably going to call Frozen 2 "liberal propaganda," so they might as well just go full-on gay.
Speaking of Disney trailers... In general, movie teasers are supposed to generate excitement and get people stoked to flock to the theaters opening weekend. But this isn't always how things go down, particularly with the advent of Twitter where people can critique and roast movies before they've even seen them. So, when a trailer dropped for Disney's new live action Aladdin movie, people had a lot of feelings, mostly about Will Smith's appearance as the genie. Obviously, the animated Aladdin genie (RIP sweet Robin Williams) was blue and rather absurd looking, so I doubt people were expecting Smith to be trotting out his sex appeal for this role. However, his blue body paint get up nonetheless startled the Internet with just how corny it looks. Twitter really went to town with the roast jokes and comparisons. You can't revamp a childhood classic and not expect people to have charged emotions and high standards. For many, Smith's genie lewk is true nightmare material, and may ruin their ability to enjoy the movie at all. I have a feeling Smith's genie is going to be the centerpiece of more than a few therapy sessions. While Smith's CGI genie aesthetic wasn't sparking magic for a lot of the Internet, there are still people who genuinely think the trailer looks good. And let's be honest, a lot of us roasting Smith's haunting blue appearance will still end up seeing the movie for nostalgia and curiosity's sake.
Twitter is ablaze this week over the fact that Esquire ran a cover story on what it's like to be a straight white male in America right now. It's important to note that they chose feature this story during Black History Month. How do you think that is going for them so far? I'll give you a hint: not well, bitch! After posting the profile, Esquire immediately began getting dragged, roasted, called out by Twitter users. Ouch. Here is the cover...
Many were quick to point out the lack of social awareness this cover possessed, especially since it is Black History Month. Others were quick to point out how redundant the story of a white kid in America is in a time when there is still a lack of diverse representation across all forms of media. Some saw this as an opportunity to direct people's attention to publications who were featuring diverse and marginalized voices. Esquire Editor-in-Chief Jay Fielden penned a response to the backlash, claiming that he wanted to avoid "echo chamber" thinking and opinion sharing, and that this story was the beginning of a series of profiles about different voices and experiences in America. His response epically backfired, and he was... as you could have guessed... roasted in the comments. Welp, I imagine it's been a very busy week for whoever runs the Esquire Twitter account.
Just in time for Valentine's Day: it's the greatest love story of our time. ABC 17 News reports that a woman in Iberia, Missouri has been accused of poisoning her husband with antifreeze and then setting their house on fire, all in the name of love. Joshua Murray was found dead, and while his house burned, his wife Amy Murray was chillin' at a local McDonald's with their son and dogs. According to court documents, Amy Murray is a nurse at Jefferson City Correctional Center who had a romantic relationship with an inmate, and in recorded phone conversations, she told her prison bae that she could marry him because Joshua was dead and "out of the picture." The prison lover, Eugene Claypool, was serving time after pleading guilty to second-degree murder. You know what they say: the couple that murders together, endures together.
If you want to give your Valentine something for a gift how about this?
Break ups may be messy, but this playful, creative kit helps a girl cope with style. The 32-page book offers empowering advice about moving on, and comes with a heart eraser, self-affirming mirror compact with a comb, stickers to "deface" old photographs, a "Do Not Cross" caution tape for tying up the telephone when temptation strikes, and a poster to remind her of the top 10 reasons she is better off without him. Okay, I guess that is an anti Valentine gift.
If I had a TARDIS I would probably end up on the U.S. Coast Guard Cutter Spencer as it destroys the Nazi submarine U-175 on April 17th, 1943...
Wasn't that a movie with Jon Bon Jovi? At the recent State of the Union address some Democrats sure had some shady looks. Like Senator Chuck Schumer for instance...
I was gonna get a tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...
It's okay, I am not completely bald now anyway. Man, there were some creepy Valentine's Day cards in the pass...
Let's hope there's no one inside this burning house of love. It's Thursday and you know what that means...
Yeesh. Wanna laugh?
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. The redhead turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
The other replies, "Oh sure I do."
The redhead asks, "What do you do about it?"
The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the redhead asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. I can't even figure it out. What a load of bullshit. Hahahaha.
Now for some sad news...
Lyndon LaRouche
September 8th, 1922 — February 12th, 2019
He ran for President eight times. He was the FIRST proof than any crazy nutbag can run for President.
Marriage
Marriage is a legally recognized union of two people who aren't, under any circumstance, allowed to watch the next episode of a show alone.
The 93rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
I said in the last entry that Jann will be a guest on the Phile on Tuesday. Wrong! There's not gonna be a Phile on Tuesday. I meant Thursday. So... Jann will be the guest on the Phile next Thursday. Now for some Valentine's Day...
Phact 1. In Japan for Valentine’s Day, instead of giving chocolates, men can have gummy bear replicas of themselves made to present for their partners to eat.
Phact 2. Valentine’s Day is banned in Saudi Arabia.
Phact 3. Valentine’s Day is associated with romance because, during the middle Ages, it was believed that birds paired couples in mid-February. The holiday is literally for the birds.
Phact 4. Valentine’s Day was promoted by companies such as Hallmark to boost purchases in February... the time of year sales revenue was the lowest.
Phact 5. Thirteen billion dollars are spent on Valentine’s Day every year in the U.S. alone. An average man spends about $158 every Valentine’s Day!
Today's pheatured guest is a guitarist far the blues rock band Jane Lee Hooker, whose latest album
"Spiritus" is available on Amazon, iTunes and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Tracy Hightop.
Me: Hey, Tracy, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Tracy: I'm great, Jason, thanks so much for having me.
Me: I love the new album "Spiritus." When I first got the interview request I got really excited and thought that Jane Lee Hooker was John Lee Hooker's daughter or granddaughter and I'd be interviewing her. Hahaha. I'm an idiot. Anyway, it's a cool album, you're a great guitarist in a cool band. How would you describe Jane Lee Hooker's music, Tracy?
Tracy: You're funny. It's like Muddy Waters meets Joey Ramone.
Me: What is your drive and vision for the band?
Tracy: Well, basically it was an opportunity for myself and the other lead guitar player, Tina Gorin, to get together and bond over some guitar solos. It's funny, the other day I was reading to one of your blog entries and you were interviewing the guitar player from Foreigner and you were talking about having two guitar players in bands and sometimes three. We just wanted to take an opportunity to play guitar together and have a lot of fun. So, we put a band together so we could play a lot of solos. Somehow it just morphed into a band I always wanted to be in my whole entire life. It just happened with very little effort and came together perfectly and everything fell into place. The next thing we knew we had a rock band that that exceeded our expectations of fun and shows and excitement and response. We got very lucky.
Me: Where did you find Dana, your singer? She's great, right?
Tracy: She truly is in every sense of the word. I've never been in a room with anyone who could sing like her. She plays almost every instrument and she's an unbelievable lyricist. Again when I say we just got lucky, we just got lucky. We had another singer for a bit and it wasn't working out well and a friend of a friend said to us, "Your friends and Jane Lee Hooker should check out this girl I just saw at this club." It was just as simple as that. He got her name and passed it onto his friend who contacted us. I went on Facebook and looked her up and we had one mutual friend. I contacted that friend and I said, "Hey, this guy said we had to get in touch with your friend to sing for our band." In a couple of hours we connected and I said, "Hey, can you come down and come sing with the band?" It was an audition really. I remember walking into that practice, I was about ten minutes late, I opened the door and she was already in the room. It was like opening that door and we've been in that room for years together. It was like a punch of deja vu, I felt like I have known her all my life and it felt like the most normal thing in the world to be in that room with her. It just felt very familiar.
Me: When you first heard her sing what did you think?
Tracy: Our hair just stood up on our arms. It was crazy. She still has that affect on us. Sometimes she sings so great on stage I will stop thinking about everything that I'm doing and I'll catch myself and think, oh, yeah, I have to play another chord here. She captivates all of us still.
Me: That's cool. Has the band always been very tight? Sometimes with an all girl band there could be a lot of disagreements I feel.
Tracy: The band has been always tight. It's always hard, not knowing what the chemistry between people is going to be. Dana and all of us fit together like peanut butter and jelly. All we do is laugh together, we don't have to use words anymore. We understand what the other one is thinking. It's really a beautiful thing and we're extremely lucky.
Me: Before this record you had another record called "No B!" How are the two records different?
Tracy: We went into the studio and recorded nine covers and one original.
Me: It was on another label, right?
Tracy: Yeah, it was just a demo to get gigs and stuff. This was early on.
Me: You're on a European blues label now, am I right? How did that happen?
Tracy: A friend of the band sent it to a bunch of different blues labels... one of them being Alligator and one of them being Run Records. One day I got a call from this German guy whose name was Thomas Rui and he said, "I want to tell you I got your CD and I've been driving around listening to it for the last sox months. I'm planning to come to New York and I'm going to sign you." We're all New Yorkers so we were like sure, yeah. He was true to his word, he got on a plane, he came to New York and we met with him, we liked him, he made us laugh, and he signed us. Again the magic for this band in every way just has been a stroke of luck.
Me: Are they a new label this Ruf Record?
Tracy: No, they've been in business internationally for about 25 years. They're the real deal. Our gratitude is immense.
Me: With the new album are these songs you've recorded for the album or have you been playing them for a long time?
Tracy: Some of them have been around for a while like "Later On," which was the second song that we wrote tougher us a band. We've been playing that one out for at least two or three years. The rest of "Spiritus" I say is maybe about a few years old we started incorporating those songs on the road when we went to Europe the last few times. We were actually supporting "No B!" but putting about five songs in our set from "Spiritus."
Me: Is there any song you wrote for the album after you were signed?
Tracy: One song we literally never played together before from beginning to end, it was just a vague idea. It's "The Breeze," the last song on the album. We were like should we try it? We were like we haven't really finished it. We weren't exactly sure where it was going. Our producer, Matt Chiaravalle, just let the tape roll and we got it. I love it. It turned out so great now we play it in our set as well.
Me: Tracy, when you go into the studio do you all do your stuff separately?
Tracy: We record as a band. We do very few overdubs, we try to get a good take of something, then if there's a blatant era we punch in. We punched in very few times with "No B!" With "Spirtitus" it was just the band rocking out live. Certain songs we get a great rhythm track and Tina and I would go into the control room together. With "The Breeze" Tina and I had so much fun together we had no idea what was gonna happen next. We were all just crammed into a control room altogether and we bought Dana into the control room to sing so we just got the energy. We never talk or think about what we're gonna play, we just let it happen.
Me: You guys have done a lot of shows overseas. Would you say the band is doing better more in Europe or in the states?
Tracy: We haven't intentionally focused on Europe more, but our label has greater contacts in Europe. It seems like this music is going really strong in Europe, people come out doesn't matter what night of the week, they just embrace live performance. I think more than I'm seeing in the United States. Without even trying we certainly have a bigger following out in Europe. A lot more press, it is just a completely entirely different scene. We have the force of our label helping us in Europe as well, they're great. We're getting booked in clubs, have great guarantees, I have found that's pretty lackluster for us in the U.S. It's very hard to get a confident booking agent that isn't busy with other acts. It's very hard for booking agents to make money, it's very hard for bands to make money in the U.S. It's just a different scene.
Me: So, in a few years where do you see the band, Tracy?
Tracy: Opening for the Rolling Stones, I always dream big. I'm not gonna dream small, I want the big stuff. It's always been our goal to get an opening act slot with a band that does very well in the U.S.
Me: Well, I hope that happens. Tracy, thanks so much for being here on the Phile. Please come back again soon and tell the other girls they should be here as well.
Tracy: I will, thanks, Jason.
Well, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Tracy Hightop for a cool interview. The Phile will be back on Sunday with Brian "Damage" Forsythe From KIX. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
No comments:
Post a Comment