Hello, welcome to another entry of the Peverett Phile. So, tonight we went to see Logan in "Aesop's Funny Tales", the school play he was in, and Friendly's for dinner. We came home, I played psp and went to bed. Something was in the back of my mind that I forgot to do today. I DVR'ed "Survivor" and "ER" so that wasn't it. What did I forget to do?
I had no idea when it hit me. The PHILE!!! I was off from work today 'cause of Logan's piano recital and play, and I forgot it was Thursday. Anyway, so here I am, phans. It was a beautiful day, or as Al Gore calls it, "The last gasp of a dying planet."
Here’s how nice it was: It was so nice today that Spider-Man was having "flies a la mode.” O.J. Simpson was at the Kentucky Derby. Paris Hilton is in prison. O.J. is still out there running around. Something’s wrong. Vice President Dick Cheney is on a tour of the Middle East. He’s very popular over there; he’s known as "Lawrence of arrhythmia.” Queen Elizabeth has been in our country. Earlier this week, President Bush hosted a state dinner in Queen Elizabeth’s honor. The guests included Trent Lott, Elisabeth Hasselbeck from "The View,” and the winning jockey from the Kentucky Derby. Which explains why the queen was overheard saying, "This party bites the big one.” In Iran, President Ahmadinejad is apparently so unpopular, the parliament has voted to take away his power and shorten his term. When he heard this, President Bush said, "That lucky bastard.” Kind of an odd story: the Milwaukee Brewers offered all fans, who attended the game the other night, a free rectal examine. To makes things worse, it was also free bat night. Former President Bill Clinton wrote the clues for a New York Times crossword puzzle. Which explains why the clue for No. 9 down is, "synonym for pain in the ass, rhyming with ‘millary.’” Donald Trump in the news. Donald Trump announced he is coming out with his own line of Trump steaks. Trump steaks. His steaks come in three sizes: large, extra large, and Rosie O’Donnell. A pilot who is blind flew half way around the world and landed his plane in Sydney Australia. At one point the blind pilot announced to the passengers, "Look out the left side of the plane, and tell me what you see.” The Washington Post reports that Sen. Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "Oh sure, when she does it, it’s OK.” How many of you saw the Republican presidential debate? How many of you? That's right. There are 10 republicans who want to be president of the United States. Did you see them? I mean, they look like guys waiting to tee off at a restricted country club. Here's the kind of thing I can't get enough of: There's a brand new book out, and it says Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice says she has a crush on President Bush. Well, sure, who doesn't? I don't know if you know this, but right now, Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, is in the grips, in the throes of a big sex scandal, a big prostitution ring sex scandal. High-powered politicians going to visit prostitutes – were you aware of this? Oh, yeah, and the woman who ran the operation, the 'D.C. Madam' is what they are calling her … they had a slogan. Their call girl agency had a slogan down there in Washington, D.C., and the slogan was, 'we take care of you below the Beltway.' Finally, have you heard about Ty
Pennington's new show? "Extreme Hangover.”
NUTTED BY REALITY
After “28 days, five continents, and more than 45,000 miles,” as Phil Keoghan said, "The Amazing Race 1" limped to a drama-less conclusion. The final three teams ended up on the same final flight from Hawaii, so the race was really just a cab ride, a 10-minute challenge, a cab ride, and a brief run. The teams finished in the same order they left the challenge, leaving no suspense.With two all-female teams in the final three, the race seemed ready to have its first male-less winning team. Instead, Eric and Danielle won, having arrived at the challenge first. Recapping the season, Phil said, “Eric tried to dominate Danielle,” which turned out to work better than it did with Jeremy.
“I owe my life to you if you can do this,” Mirna told an airline representative, who got them a seat on an earlier flight. Something tells me she won’t make good on her promise, although we’d have great fun watching Mirna live her life as an indentured servant.
“Charla and Mirna have been known to snag great flights that no one else found out about,” one of the blondes said, and then along with Danielle and Eric, they searched their plane for Charla and Mirna. I think they missed a great chance for comedy here; they should have looked in the overhead compartments and in the seat-back pockets.
Running along a rocky beach, Mirna screamed, “Charla, you have to run. You have to run, it’s a race!” Oh, so that’s why the show is called The Amazing Race. Thanks, Mirna!
Teams had to paddle kayaks out to a shipwreck against violent waves, which was a pretty dramatic challenge. One of the blondes thought the task would be easier if they climbed out of their kayak and walked it to the buoy, and thus began their first real meltdown fight of the season.
They made up quickly, however, and as they got to the airport, one blonde said, “I wonder if there’s an area where you buy tickets.” Their last flight on two seasons of the race and they still have no idea what happens at an airport.
“It’s either a million bucks or nothing,” Eric said. I choose nothing.
Mirna told a cab driver, “this is just a crazy adventure and you’re part of it.” Except for, you know, the $1 million prize and fame and all.
“This is worth a $1 million to us, literally,” the blondes told a cab driver. Again, way to encourage someone who’s actually working for their money to help you out.
Their final task had the teams opening hotel safes using a combination set by their partner. But there was a 10 minute time limit; if they didn’t figure out the combination during the 10 minutes, they were allowed to leave. That made little sense—until we realized that the next clue sent them to the finish line. In other words, producers wanted to ensure some drama and tension. But they failed, because the teams checked in the same order as they left the final task.
Rob stood at the finish line smiling but still looking kind of pissed and a little fat.
Eric and Danielle checked in first and claimed the $1 million. On second thought, who says an all-girl team has never won The Amazing Race?
Phil handed Eric a cell phone and said, “you guys can call your family.” Eric found himself talking to our old friend Jeremy, who used his few seconds of airtime to make a homoerotic reference and suggest that the two are actually a couple: “Yeah, yeah, I’m rich, biotch. Dude, I’m going to give you some spankings when I get home.”
“I guess opposites attract, and in this case, our opposites got us, you know, throughout the race,” Danielle said, which in light of Jeremy’s comments seemed kind of sad. She never had a chance, but at least she has $500,000.
TODAY IN HISTORY
1924
In perhaps the single worst mistake in the history of crime fighting, Attorney General Harlan Fiske Stone selects J. Edgar Hoover to head the Bureau of Investigation, later known as the FBI. He will remain at the post until his death 48 years later.
1933
Joseph Goebbels presides over a public book burning in Berlin, which destroys more than 20,000 volumes. The collection includes books by Einstein and Freud. During the bibliocaust, Goebbels declares: "We have directed our dealings against the un-German spirit; consign everything un-German to the fire."
1941
Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, DeputyFuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland. When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.
1969
The Battle of Dong Ap Bia begins with an assault on Hill 937. It will ultimately become known as Hamburger Hill.
1977
Joan Crawford succumbs to stomach cancer at the age of 73. In the early days of her career, Crawford had performed in several stag films, and later spent a considerable sum buying back the prints to destroy them.
1993
In the worst manufacturing plant fire in history, 188 employees, most of them young women, burn to death in a doll factory in Bangkok, Thailand. The management had locked the doors, so the workers could produce their Bart Simpson dolls without any distractions.
1994
Former building contractor, children's party clown, and jailhouse artist John Wayne Gacy is executed by lethal injection. Police found 28 shallow graves in the crawlspace beneath Gacy's house in 1978. After a dinner which included fried chicken, fried shrimp, and french fries, Gacy is strapped to a gurney. When asked if he has any last words, the serial killer obliges with: "Kiss my ass."
1994
300 active-duty Marines stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms receive a 46-question, multiple-choice survey. Given a hypothetical situation, more than a quarter of respondents indicate their willingness to "fire upon U.S. citizens who refuse or resist confiscation of firearms banned by the U.S. government." On the positive side, almost two-thirds recognize that the order would be patently unconstitutional.
HEROES
Every week I walk away with a bit of a headache after watching "Heroes". It's not a bad headache by any means. It's more of a sensory/information overload kind of a thing since each episode is filled to the brim with so many details. That being said, the show is so entertaining, I find the discomfort completely worth it. This episode found Hiro and Ando back in present day New York City after their foray into the future. They set off to try and accomplish, "the hard part", but little did they know the hard part would have them face to canvas to face with Sylar not once, but twice within the episode. Even more impressive was the fact that the second time Sylar and Hiro were face to face, it was by Hiro's own doing. He's come a long way in a little time or maybe that should be in "a lot of time" if you factor in his time travel. I thought I was going to have a coronary during both instances. Knowing Sylar could hear the faintest of sounds during the first meeting, then seeing a frozen Sylar's beady eye move when he was supposed to be frozen during the second meeting was tension filled television at its finest. Of course, as viewers we realize the show has to play out as Isaac/Sylar/Peter's paintings dictate, so we knew the final battle between Hiro and Sylar would have to wait until another day. Sometimes it's a curse to be in the know on these things. On a side note, I found it interesting when Sylar was in "Geordy La Forge mode" painting the future and we saw that his artistic style was strikingly different than the more cartoon like portraits found in Isaac's paintings. Thought it was a nice little detail the producers threw in there considering most people tend to paint differently. The show is probably full of similar instances I fail to see. The thing I found most intriguing about this episode was the temporary conflict that Sylar went through when he discovered he would potentially be the cause of the Apocalypse in New York City. Sylar was an innocent little watchmaker for like five minutes. Since that point, we've only known him to be evil. The glee that can be seen his eyes every time he kills someone and steals their powers is a testament to this evil. Up until now, he hardly seemed to have a compassionate strand of DNA in his body. To a large extent by episode end, we found out Sylar still epitomizes evil, but for that brief moment it was compelling to witness the moral struggle he appeared to be going through. It was a bit unexpected.
It was also good to see the relationship between Sylar and his mother. It seemed like the show was trying to convey that Sylar's mom pushed him to this point, but I'm not entirely sure it portrayed that convincingly enough.Moving on, I'm the kind of viewer who wants to reject a new character that gets injected into a show this late in the season. Molly was a bit of exception because she has a pretty fascinating power - not to mention a power that I would love to exploit. One word. Paparazzi. If I had this girls powers and I always knew where everyone on the planet resided, I'd be selling pictures of Paris Hilton, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, and the lot of other famous people to Star Magazine left and right. I won't even talk about the torment I'd cause ex-girlfriends...but I digress.We also learned that Mohinder's sister had the exact same nucleotide ailment Molly is suffering from and that Mohinder's father developed a cure but much too late. Then we were hit with the bombshell that Molly is the only one who can stop Sylar. What? Now I find myself wondering who will really end up stopping Sylar. Will it be Hiro? Will it be Peter? Will it be Molly? On top of that, is Peter or Sylar going to go nuclear? l'm also curious to see why Nathan called Linderman saying, "we have a problem" (I knew this guy could never be trusted), how Micah's powers fit into Linderman's plan, and why the shape shifter only now unveiled the fact that she can also make people see what she wants them to see. It seems like that power alone could have been used for some much more nefarious activity throughout the series. Wish it would have come out a little earlier. I'm sure all of those questions and more will be answered next week, and more than likely, a whole slew of new questions will pop up that bring us all back for season two. The final scene where Peter was on the verge of spontaneous combustion with Claire, HRG, Matt, and Ted watching in shock was a nice climatic place to end. If you ask me, the easiest solution at that point would have been for someone to put a cap in Ted's dome, but that's just me. Seems if you killed the guy who causes Peter to explode, Peter wouldn't explode. I'm just saying.
Was anyone able to catch what Sylar painted in blood on the floor of his mother's house? I couldn't make it out, but would love to hear what you guys thought it was.
GEEK TALK
I'm sure you've heard the news by now: The biggest opening of all time now belongs to Spider-Man 3, and by "opening" I also mean A) first day, B) first weekend, and C) a ton of international opening days / weekends. Oh, and D) number of North America theaters. The thing's a mammoth smash, basically, and it was only released three freakin' daysago! Here's a breakdown of the stats, courtesy of the number-crunching geniuses over at BoxOfficeMojo.com: Biggest opening Friday: $59.8 million from 4,252 theaters, which is also a record. Biggest Saturday: $51.3 million. Biggest Sunday: $39.9 million. Biggest IMAX weekend: $4.8 million from 84 theaters. Biggest total weekend: $151.1 million, which is about $10 million higher than the weekend estimates predicted! The movie also broke a record for biggest gap between first and second place, a record I didn't even know people kept track of. (This past weekend's #2 movie was Disturbia, which pulled in about $5.9 million.) The previous record holder for biggest opening day ($55.1 million) and biggest opening weekend ($135 million) was last summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- which means that Jack Sparrow will have a shot at reclaiming the prize in only a few weeks. The third chapter, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, opens on May 25. And for some opening weekend comparisons: The original Spider-Man, which opened on May 3, 2002, snatched just over $114 million from 3,876 theaters in its opening weekend, whereas Spider-Man 2 (which opened on June 30, 2004) pulled in $88.1 million from 4,166 theaters. Final domestic tallies for those flicks were $403 million and $373 million, respectively. Worldwide? Spider-Man made about $821 million while the sequel did about $783 million. Looks like the best flick in the series was also the least profitable. Weird.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Q: Why are women unlucky? A: Because to get eight inches of sausage, they have to take the whole pig.
MOVIE BUZZ
Austin Powers 4
Mike Myers says he's working on another shagadelic flick, this time told from Dr. Evil's perspective. Originally, that was going to be Mini-Me, but then he realized it would just be shots of everybody's … well, you know …
Shrek 4
Negotiations are under way for yet another sequel, to be directed by Mike Mitchell, who also did the original Deuce Bigalow. Oh, good … I was hoping they'd go for something a bit more highbrow.
Hellraiser
Clive Barker is penning a remake of his horror classic about the doorway to hell. Deuce himself, Rob Schneider, reportedly had hoped to star as the lead demon, but he had to be told they were looking for a different kind of Pinhead.
He-Man
In one of the more bizarre casting rumors, Brad Pitt is being sought after to star in this update of the '80s cartoon. Well, if it doesn't work out, there's always the upcoming Care Bears: Oopsy Does It.
Fantastic Four 3
Director Tim Story is already dropping hints he wants the next FF ep to feature the Black Panther. Jeez, is there ever going to be a sequel where the four leads aren't just supporting characters?
Gemini Man
In this upcoming sci-fi thriller, a geriatric hit man is given a contract on a young clone of himself — and an actual aging action star will be digitally de-aged to play both parts. I think this is great. They can get Sylvester Stallone to hunt down Sylvester Stallone and put him out of his misery.
Poltergeist: In the Shadows
The classic horror flick about a young girl who disappears into her TV is getting an update. Maybe she'll fall into MySpace and get trapped in Satan's friends network.
Mars Needs Moms!
Robert Zemekis is going to direct an adaptation of the Berkeley Breathed children's book about Martians enlisting Earth mothers to take care of them. Angelina Jolie dropped out of the project when she was told it wasn't a documentary.
Wedding Daze
In this new trailer, Isla Fisher accepts a wedding proposal from a guy she doesn't even know, which isn't as weird as her still agreeing to marry Sacha Baron Cohen — and kiss him at the altar, even after seeing his face buried in his male Borat co-star's hairy butt.
Grinder
Ashlee Simpson is set to become the next big-screen scream queen, when she stars in this low-budget horror flick. It's the terrifying tale of a young girl whom everybody accuses of getting a nose job, and when she claims she didn't, nobody believes her.
Flight of the Living Dead
The trailer is either about zombies taking over an airplane or what happens when JetBlue passengers find out their flight's been held on the runway again.
There you have it, kids. It's Friday morning, but the latest entry is filed. There might be two entries next week 'cause of Shrek The Third. We'll see. The Phile has had over 1800 views, so that's very good. We are close to hit 2000. And don't forget, through June the Phile will be updated on Sundays. Spread the word, not the turd. Have a good week.
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