Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Tuesday. How are you doing? If you've ever worked at a job you hate, this blog will hit home. Haha. When someone asked you where you see yourself in five years and you're like buddy... I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
The meme is supposed to be making fun of liberals having to choose between if Trump attempted to kiss a black woman without her consent or if he's racist. This implies that both cannot be true, and that is someone sexually abuses a black woman it proves that they are not racist. Understandably, people were not impressed. In short, the general response from the Internet was very reminiscent of Randy from "American Idol" circa the early 2000's...
If you come for Steve Irwin's legacy, you better be ready to arm yourself with steely resolve, because his scores of loyal fans are not playing around. On February 22nd, Google honored the late Irwin with a homepage doodle and slideshow of his vibrant life. For most people, this was a positive emotional affair, immediately inducing tears and warm fuzzy nature loving feelings. However, not everyone responded with tearful memories of the animal loving television star. In fact, PETA opted to jump in with a scathing critique of the late Irwin, claiming he was harmful to the wild animals he interacted with. What's worse, the wording in PETA's critique easily comes across as victim blaming for his death. Given all of the animal blood on PETA's hands, people were quick to jump in and point out the hypocrisy of the thread. Others were upset at the slander against one of the few wholesome men of television. But the best responses to PETA's statement were undoubtedly the straight up roast tweets. In fact, in a time of great political upset, dragging PETA for its self-righteous posturing is one of the few things that could unite Americans everywhere. The next time there's an awkward silence at your family reunion, you can pull up the thread and watch the faces of people across the political spectrum light up.
Ivanka Trump, the former sweatshop shoe "designer" currently serving as a White House senior advisor, is the face of meritocracy and earning what you get. The heiress who has spent her adult life working in jobs she secured on the basis of her last name (and her father's obsession with her) believes that the American people do not want things "handed to them," and is therefore unsure about this whole "living wage" thing. In an interview with... where else?... Fox News, the very qualified government official sounded off against living wage jobs as featured in Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal, believing that deep down, Americans don't want to have the safety of being able to afford to live. "I don’t think most Americans, in their heart, want to be given something," said Ivanka, whose job and money came from her father, whose job and money came from his father. "I’ve spent a lot of time traveling around this country over the last four years. People want to work for what they get," failing to mention that the only reason she has been granted the privilege and access to government jets is because of her father. So, I think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want. They want the ability to be able to secure a job. They want the ability to live in a country where’s there’s the potential for upward mobility." It wasn't long before people online corrected her, and reminded people who she was. Her argument also doesn't make any sense. While 78% of American workers live paycheck to paycheck and Ivanka made $82 million in outside income while serving as a humble civil servant in the White House, she certainly knows what the people want. If she really believed what she was saying, she'd give up her inheritance. The countdown to AOC's response is on.
Sunday night, Green Book walked away with three Oscars (including best picture), and millions of tweets asking how the hell just happened. In the Academy Award-winning film, Viggo Mortenson stars as Tony "Lip" Vallelonga, a racist Italian-American New Yorker and Joey Tribbiani on Steroids who drives black, queer musical genius Dr. Donald Waldridge Shirley around the Jim Crow South. The Italian guy teaches the back pianist about black music and fried chicken. Really. Last December, Shadow and Act reported how Dr. Shirley's family is disgusted with the film, and weren't consulted at any point during production. Carol Shirley Kimble, a niece of Dr. Shirley's, left a message to the producers explaining how she was hurt by the film. "There was no due diligence done to afford my family and my deceased uncle the respect of properly representing him, his legacy, his worth and the excellence in which he operated and the excellence in which he lived," she said. "It’s once again a depiction of a white man’s version of a black man’s life. My uncle was an incredibly proud man and an incredibly accomplished man, as are the majority of people in my family. and to depict him as less than, and to depict him and take away from him and make the story about a hero of a white man for this incredibly accomplished black man is insulting at best." For his part, Mahershala Ali, who played Dr. Shirley and won his second Oscar for the role, apologized to the family after learning that they were upset. He was also the only Green Book winner to thank the man the movie is supposed to be about. "I want to thank [Dr. Shirley] for his passion and virtuosity and the dignity he carried himself with that inspired me everyday," he said. Asked about the family's response, screenwriter (and Lip's son) Nick Vallelonga said that he "didn't even know" that Shirley's family existed, and that he was "personally not allowed" to speak to them, per Shirley's wishes. Now that's a spicy meatball.
In case you missed it, everyone fell in love, got married, became pregnant, bought a house and is now raising Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga's children after watching their performance of "Shallow" Sunday night at the Oscars. Luckily Lady Gaga's voice is a silky smooth velvet dream of raw passion, but even if it was just a mediocre performance, the sexual chemistry was staggeringly palpable. Sharing a microphone while Gaga plays piano? Matching spray tans we all wanted to see them smear all over each other? Those Lion King style neck nuzzles? The truth of it all is that while Lady Gaga did recently split up with her fiancé, they are professional performers and Cooper and his girlfriend, Irina Shayk, are probably more than fine. Shayk is a mature woman who can watch her partner do his job without getting jealous, but let's pretend instead that we live in a world where A Star is Born could live on forever. In that world, Irina probably wouldn't be happy about these shared giggles. Maybe she would be feeling some kind of way about watching the hottest performance of all time: However, Irina and Gaga were seen hugging each other after the performance because I guess actors can be good at their jobs and also have healthy relationships that don't involve Lady Gaga? Fear not, though we'll all just have to vote for the next best thing: Lady Gaga is dating Bradley Cooper AND Irina Shayk.
Do you kids like Oreos? Have you seen the newest kind they released? I'll show you...
Yum! Remember the State of the Union address a few weeks ago? Some Democrats sure gave some shady looks. Like Senator Kirsten Gillibrand for instance...
Man, there sure has been some satisfying clawbacks on Fox News over the Internet's history. Don't know what I mean... check this out...
The professional term is "throwing the baby out with the bathwater." I said this yesterday, ever notice the Olsen twins look like one of the knows how you die and the other knows when you die. Look...
See what I mean? Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...
Top Phive Things Overheard At Sunday's Academy Awards Ceremony
5. Hands down, Bohemian Rhapsody was my favorite film about teeth made by a sexual predator this year.
4. Every time Angela Bassett is on the stage at the Oscars and not GIVEN HER AWARD FOR WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT I throw a wine glass.
3. Brunette Charlize Theron has the strength of over three St. Vincents.
2. I hope Sam Elliot wins and just opens his mouth and all we hear is the sound of a bunch of rocks being dropped on a driveway.
And the number one thing overheard at Sunday's Academy Awards ceremony was...
1. How y’all make a whole ass movie but can’t put together a twenty second Oscars acceptance speech!?!
Hahahahaha. If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so, not everyone is a people person, and that's okay. I mean, people are the worst, and that's just a fact. I get it. If you aren't a people person, chances are you're an introvert. This isn't to say you hate people, although I would understand if you did. Introverts just happen to prefer keeping things such as thoughts and ideas to themselves, rather than always sharing them with the group. And some people... namely extroverts... have a really hard time understanding that. And because of that, introverts can become exhausted when hanging out with non-introverts. There's a woman who wanted to come onto the Phile and vent about what are some characteristics of people who drain her quickly. That was a lengthy build up to this new character... hahaha. Please welcome to the Phile...
Me: Hello, Linda, welcome to the Phile. So, what are some characteristics of people who drain you quickly?
Linda: The type of people that constantly take everything the wrong way or are passive aggressive. I'm already so concerned about my word choice and how I'm coming across.
Me: Ahhh. You don't have the energy for any passive-aggressive bullshit.
Linda: Nope.
Me: So, what are you doing tonight?
Linda: I will show you in a graph...
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
From slappin’ da bass to nappin’ all over the place. Ha. So, you know I live in Florida, right? Well, there's some stuff that happens in Florida that happens nowhere else on the planet. So, once again here is a pheature called...
All the police brutality and THIS is what the department decided to get serious about? A couple got kinky with handcuffs on a romantic evening last summer. The problem, however, is that their love-nest was the backseat of a police car. According to The Washington Post, Florida couple Zachery Moellendick and Krista Leigh were arrested for shoplifting, and on their journey to the station, songs like Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" and Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" got them in the mood. Officer Doug McNeal's body camera "was fixed beneath his car’s rearview mirror and trained on the back seat, filming the couple as they kissed, fondled each other and smoked a cigarette." The footage was then used in a porno in an internal investigation against McNeal and he got a 20-day suspension from the Fort Pierce Police Department. While that might seem like a harsh punishment for letting people make out, the consequences for cockblocking would have been way worse.
It's easy to forget in the midst of authoritarian power-grabs and racist tweets that Donald Trump is also an alleged serial sexual harasser. Yesterday, former campaign staffer Alva Johnson filed a federal suit against President Grab Them By The Pussy for allegedly grabbing her and kissing her without her consent. The incident allegedly happened on August 24th, 2016, as Trump exited an RV outside a rally in Tampa, Florida. Johnson says that she turned her head and Trump "grabbed her hand and leaned in to kiss her on the lips." The Post verified that she told four people soon after the incident, and consulted a lawyer who refused to take her case. The White House has denied it, as have two people who Johnson said were present at the time of the assault. "I immediately felt violated because I wasn’t expecting it or wanting it," she told The Post. "I can still see his lips coming straight for my face." In 2005, Trump said on the now-notorious "Access Hollywood" tape, "You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful... I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything." Johnson's story certainly sounds like something Donald Trump would do, according to Donald Trump.
The 94th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Neville Staple will be on the Phile in a few weeks.
Today's guest is an American singer, songwriter, and bassist best known for being an original member of the rock band Chicago from 1967 til 1985, before launching a successful solo career. His latest album "The Very Best of Peter Cetera" is available on Amazon. Please welcome to the Phile... Peter Cetera.
Me: Hello, Peter, welcome to the Phile. How are you, sir?
Peter: Thank you, Peverett Phile. Good to be here.
Me: So, I take it you live in Chicago still?
Peter: No, I actually live in Idaho now.
Me: Okay, out of all the places, why Idaho?
Peter: I moved from Chicago to Los Angeles for a few years when we parted ways with the group. I was looking faraway to get as far away from them as possible and I met some people up in Idaho and decided to move there.
Me: I don't know much about Idaho, Peter, what's it like living there?
Peter: I like the outdoors and it's a double edge sword, it keeps me out of that limelight too. That's not the best thing for a career in show business.
Me: Okay, so, your new CD "The Very Best of Peter Cetera" is the first time you released all your solo hits on one CD. Why did you wait so long to do this?
Peter: Well, actually I had nothing to do with it. A company approached me about the idea and I asked them what they had in mind then came back with the bunch of songs they picked and went over what I thought was a good choice and didn't think was a good choice, they did the artwork and that's basically how it happened. I really didn't have a lot to do with it and here we are.
Me: Okay, so, like we said you were in the band Chicago, Peter. What led you to leave that band?
Peter: Well, I did my first solo album and it was stuff I wanted to write and I thought what the heck, we can live simultaneous and the record company, Warner Bros. did not think that was a good idea because I managed to have what they called back in the day AOR, album oriented rock, and I managed to have a top ten hit with "Livin' With the Limelight" without any promotion from the record company who decided it wasn't in their best interest not to promote me because they didn't want me to get a big head I guess. So, when I wanted to do another album with the promise of they would help me out the group kind of exploded and said no, no, no, I can't do that. So we basically came to an agreement I wanted to leave and they wanted me to leave so there you go.
Me: You worked with David Foster on a couple of Chicago albums and then on your solo career. How did it come about with you working with him?
Peter: Oh, at the time Chicago I would say was at a very downward spiral, it was the usual rock and roll with drugs and drinking involved. Certain people weren't equipped to carry on and when David came he and I hot it off immediately. We had to evolve and not stay the same and it so happened David and I hit it off, wrote some momental songs and we enjoyed working together. As a matter of fact I still work with David today. I go and do a couple of shows with him with his David Foster and Friends tour. Yeah, that created a bit of a problem because they say he was favoring me and in fact of the matter he was because at that point of time I was the only one capable of writing new stuff. That's how that happened.
Me: You have worked with so many different artists over the years... on this best of album you do duets with Amy Grant, Cher and Chaka Khan. You also did a song with Paul Anka, how did that song and duet come about?
Peter: Well, that's funny that you bring that up, that was also with David Foster. I was living in Malibu and David called me up and said he was in Santa Barbara doing a CD with Paul Anka recording at his house, would I like to come up and sing some backgrounds on? I said no, and he said Paul would send his jet and pick me up at Santa Monica airport. I could fly there, have a nice dinner, sing backgrounds and fly back home so I said sure, why not? I flew up there and Paul Anka was such a nice gentleman, his wife was so lovely and his house was so beautiful and I had a nice meal. I went down to hear the song I was going to sing background on and I realized there were no backgrounds and the beat had hardly no lead. So I had to come up with a bunch of parts, more than background parts. We did it and I guess it came out to him as a really great song. Matter of fact I talked to Paul a few years ago, he was in Chicago and I was in Chicago, 'cause he was working that night and I was working as well but I did talk to him on the phone.
Me: Your song "After All," the duet with Cher that's on the new album is also on a Cher album as well. How and why did that happen? Your vocals start the bloody song, Peter. Haha.
Peter: Ha. That's another bizarre story. I got a call from Cher's management saying Peter Asher is producing the song and they thought I'll be perfect to sing it with Cher and it was going to be in a movie. At the time I had a solo album out and I could use the wonderful press. It was at the time with music videos and I thought oh, gee, I get to do this song with Cher, we'll do this video and it'll help my solo album. I agreed to do it and again it was another case of going into the studio and of course Cher wasn't there, and basically with the song it was "what do you think we should do here?" I sort of came up with vocal ideas and did some background and lead stuff. The next day I went back and had to wait the obligatory three hours for Cher to show up, she came in, sang a few lines, they put it together. While waiting for the video that never happened number one, the song was in a movie but the movie was a stiff. Cher decided at that time she was going to go to this rock goddess formation. The last picture I saw of her she was on a battleship I think with a bunch of sailors and she had these leather chaps on. We never did the video, we never heard back from them and that was the end of that. I may recite it someday with somebody else.
Me: I listened to the new album and I have to admit I only knew a few songs... do you think these are your best songs?
Peter: I always look back at my stuff and think what I liked and didn't like, and what should of been a hit. It is what it is. Of course there's a bunch of songs that I thought should be on. Maybe we'll put them on the next one, and I'll do some new ones.
Me: I have to say congrats on being indicted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Songwriters Hall of Fame, Peter. They must be an amazing honor to have all these things come along, am I right?
Peter: Yeah, I think it's kind of bittersweet. I didn't show up at the Rock and Roll Hall ceremony and I didn't show up at the Songwriters ceremony because I was working but if they decided if I didn't show up they weren't going to give the award I was like what. I kind of wish there was good news to go with the awards but with the circumstances with the old group it's a little difficult and a little touchy. But it's an honor nonetheless. I always like to be told that I meant something. To me the most important thing is when I go and perform now and see the people's reaction, it's still unbelievable. That kind of means more to me than anything.
Me: Years down the road do you want to be remembered for your actual song writing or your performances?
Peter: Well, the true fans can feel the passion in my singing. I think that's important that people feel that because I sing like I mean it. I think people feel that whether it's uptempo or ballad, or whatever.
Me: A lot of bands and musicians on your era and kinda music do residencies at Vegas. Ever thought of doing that?
Peter: No, I can't see myself doing the same shtick every night. I like to perform for people and I sing with my heart and I think people can feel that.
Me: Your voice sounds the same today as it did back then. What's the secret?
Peter: Well, I try to sing every day. That's it. I try not to talk a lot.
Me: Okay, that's cool. So, it's been over seventeen years since your last non-holiday studio album, what's next for you, Peter?
Peter: I've got about three or four things ready to go, I love to release more music but not sure what avenue to go. I would love to do a new CD but I'm just waiting for that guiding light to show me how to do it. It's a different world out there today.
Me: Well, I wish you lots of luck and thanks for being on the Phile. Take care and please come back soon.
Peter: Thank you, thank you very much.
There you go, I feel that interview was uneventful. I hope Peter doesn't feel that way. Anyway, that about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Peter Cetera for the interview. The Phile will be back next Monday with comedian Ryan Hamilton. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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