Pheaturing Sally Field

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. How are you? I was thinking... Everybody demanding we "re-open America" should be forced to work in an ER room, a grocery store or nursing home for two weeks. How many believe that this is ending in two weeks and your life is back to normal? Raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
If you’ve ever hit a fast food joint at certain times of the day, you know it wouldn’t be a shock if heinous crimes were going down. I’m talking about those moments after closing the bar down and drunkenly stumbling into a Burger King, McDonald’s, or Taco Bell. Homeless people tend to wander in, and there’s a sketchy atmosphere when that dark 3:00 a.m. time hits. But you go anyways because a greasy burger is the best way to end a night out. Well, ever since the coronavirus pandemic caused restaurants to take extra precautions by offering delivery or drive-thru only, suddenly that dark 3:00 a.m. time of crazy can now be seen at all times of the day. And these poor McDonald’s employees in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, have definitely seen it. According to Oklahoma City Police Department, three McDonald’s employees got lucky that their injuries weren’t life-threatening after Gloricia Woody shot them with her handgun. Why did she do this? She was upset that the McDonald’s employees would not allow her to eat inside the dining area. Yes, I am saying despite the coronavirus restrictions that have been placed all across the United States (and the rest of the world!), this woman resorted to gun violence because people were doing their part to protect public health. It’s not like anyone else was in this McDonald’s dining room anyways, and this crazy lady still had the opportunity to get her food! How did this start? Apparently, after these poor employees told her she couldn’t enter the dining area, there was an initial physical altercation that gave another employee a head injury. Then, she went to her car to grab her handgun. She hit two employees with shrapnel and the third employee was hit in the arm. She ran off, only for Oklahoma City police to find her a few blocks away. Luckily, all the employees are going to be okay. Aside from that, can COVID-19 cause any more craziness? When I think I’ve seen all the ridiculousness, I hear about one of these stories.
Believe it or not, llamas may be the answer to the coronavirus pandemic. As the entire world is working hard at trying to find antidotes, cures, the whole nine yards, a Belgian study may have finally broken through the wall that was the lack of knowledge on how to overcome this virus. And Winter, the chosen llama for research, just might become the hero who saves us all. Dr. Xavier Saelens (molecular virologist at Ghent University in Belgium), Daniel Wrapp (graduate student affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin and Dartmouth College), and Dr. Jason McLellan (structural virologist at the University of Texas at Austin) came together to research how types of antibodies can combat specific infections. Just like all great discoveries, using llama antibodies against COVID-19 was an accidental idea that stemmed from their studies in fighting the SARS virus and MERS. Winter was chosen by the research team to participate in the series of these studies, and what they discovered might create big changes in the medical world. The research team found that Winter’s antibodies did fight off the SARS virus and MERS. When the coronavirus pandemic hit, they decided to apply the same idea to fighting COVID-19 in hopes that the llama antibodies would act the same way. And they were sort of in the right track. Publishing their results in the scientific journal Cell, they established that llama antibodies are easier to manipulate. Thus, when possibly fusing with human antibodies, it may be more effective in neutralizing the virus that causes COVID-19. The llama antibodies fit in the crevices on spike proteins, which are proteins that “allow viruses like the novel coronavirus to break into host cells and infect us,” essentially preventing COVID-19’s ability to do so. The research team hopes that this breakthrough will eventually be used in coronavirus treatments, injecting people with the antibody therapies who haven’t been infected yet, starting with health care workers. According to the results, the new antibody protection would be immediate but not permanent. It would only last a month or two before needing another injection. That being said, before we run off and tell everyone that a llama is most definitely a cure, STOP! Of course, like everything in the science world, there definitely needs to be more research done on using the new antibody therapies, but it’s small a start. It’s still not clear how safe it is to inject llama antibodies into humans, but if this breakthrough is phenomenal, then a whole new perspective will open up about camelids. I don’t want to speak too soon, but we might be rewarding Winter for her work. And she might have no idea about how she possibly may have saved the world.
This World War II veteran from Scotland can definitely say he has lived, celebrating his 100th birthday today.

George Simpson is celebrating living an eventful century, now able to add “lived through the COVID-19 pandemic” to the list. But that’s not even the most interesting part of this Scottish WWII veteran’s life. The Royal Scots veteran experienced a prisoner of war camp, spending five years in a camp in Poland with little food and water. His battalion had taken up a defensive position in Le Paradis, France, in order to execute an evacuation of Dunkirk, fighting until the last man. Simpson, however, had his leg injured by shrapnel. He got captured and taken to the prisoner of war camp when taken to a French prison for treatment. He was forced to load material for the front on the railways but refused to do so because he was scared it would be used against the British. He was then punished by being imprisoned in a detention camp for three months. The Russians eventually freed the camp, and the Royal Scots veteran was finally able to return home. George Simpson trained recruits for two years after that before working in Duncan’s Chocolate Factory in Edinburgh for the next 40 years. He had a huge family: three sons, five daughters, 15 grandchildren, and 27 great-grandchildren with one more on the way. His family arranged a piper to play his favorite song outside his home as a birthday surprise because of the coronavirus. Royal Scots Colonel Martin Gibson spoke of the WWII veteran, mentioning, “When discussing with him his time as a Royal Scot, he said, ‘I had to do it to ensure that Britain’s freedom was preserved.’ The Royal Scots regimental family wish him many happy returns of the day. A piper from our Regimental Association Pipe Band will play for him outside his house.” This guy fought in a world war, was a prisoner of war, worked in a chocolate factory, had a huge family, and is now living through a pandemic. Whew! What a life to live. Happy Birthday George Simpson! Thank you for your service!
A South Carolina woman was pulled into a pond and killed by an alligator after trying to pet the predator while visiting a client’s home. Fifty-eight-year-old Cynthia Covert had come to Kiawah Island, a gated community near Charleston, to give a manicure to a woman who lived on the island. According to the woman, Covert was giving the manicure on the home’s porch when she spotted the gator. After the manicure was finished Covert went down to the water to take pictures of it. Then, the stylist reached out her hand to touch it. The woman and her husband started screaming at Covert to get away from the gator, telling her that they’d seen the beast take down a deer the other day. Covert then turned to the couple and replied, “I don’t look like a deer” before reaching out to touch the alligator. Then the gator pulled her into the water. The woman’s husband and a neighbor grabbed a rope and were somehow able to pull Covert away from the gator. Covert then stood up in waist-deep water and quipped, “I guess I won’t do this again.” Then the gator pulled her under again. For good this time. Police and firefighters from Charleston County searched for Covert for ten minutes before her body popped up. The gator popped up soon after and a deputy shot it in the head with his 9mm sidearm. Though Covert was attacked and mauled by the gator... her leg was mangled... her official cause of death was drowning. Covert’s death is the third alligator attack death in South Carolina in the last four years. Prior to those three attacks there had never been a recorded alligator attack death in the history of South Carolina.
Cue the music. THIS CROTCH IS ON FIREEEEEE! THIS CROTCH IS ON FIREEEE, OH, OH, OH! Some of you have too much time on your hands, and this clearly proves it! Turns out a woman from Ohio is facing multiple charges after she allegedly called 911 and highly requested the fire department go to her house because there was a fire. Where was the fire located you ask? Well, no other than in her own crotch. Yes, this woman said my vagina is on fire and I need someone to put it out, send me over a hot smokin’ firefighter. All the perks of the job indeed. According to authorities, 50-year-old Katrina Morgan is facing a felony charge of disrupting public services and a misdemeanor charge of making false alarms. Morgan is being accused of calling 911 reporting that her, “Pussy was on fire.” According to the police report from the Port Clinton Police Department, Morgan asked if the fire department hose was working, and told them that she needed somebody to come put it by using it on her. BOLD. My oh my, she was hot and ready for some of that Little Caesars Sausage Pizza, and wanted it any way she could get it. I mean honestly, I don’t blame her, it was probably 2 a.m. and well, she was probably social distancing for weeks. So, she just wanted something hot and ready. Officers did state that Morgan was at her friend’s house when she called 911, and upon arrival, she became agitated after being told that she was going to be arrested for making false reports. Officers noticed several empty bottles of booze when they entered the residence, and people inside the house told officers that Morgan was highly intoxicated when she made the phone call. So, probably grossed out and not having an actual emergency at all, police officers decided to handcuff her and take her to jail. When officers tried to put her inside the cruiser, she kept resisting, until the officer stated they would have to use a stun gun if she didn’t calm down. So eventually she did get inside and off to jail she went. This is truly wonderful, stupid, but wonderful. Alcohol can surely make you do crazy things. But like I said, maybe this Ohio woman was just looking for a little bit of fun and is trying to bring the spark back in her life. So she did what she could do best, she called the police department. Unfortunately, that’s not how police officers work, sweetie. But hey, I’ll give you an A for effort.
Man, those people are their protest signs drive me crazy...

Ugh. I was thinking about getting a new tattoo but someone had the same idea I had...

Haha. Mother's Day is on Sunday and if you don't know what card to get your mom how about this one?

Since this COVID-19 business some churches have been coming up with some very original and fun signs...

Ever see those panhandlers on the side of the road? Some of them come up with clever signs of their own...

With most of the country reopening you might be wondering who is council to reopen America. Well, Fox News had the answer...

Hahahahaha. Okay, I have to show this... you know I show you a live shot of Port Jefferson from earth cam, right? It's Harborpark, in case you didn't know. Here's a photo of what it used to look like when they had events there...

I had to share that pic. Maybe next week I'll show you other pics of Port Jefferson. I will be there one day again. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, here is...

Top Phive Things Said By People Who Still Don't Know What Day It Is
5. I don't know what day it is, but it definitely doesn't feel like a Friday.

4. I don't know what day it is, I've been eating cereal at 2:00 a.m. for the past week, I don't know what I'm doing.
3. What year is it?
2. I literally have absolutely no idea what day it is today and am not sure if that even matters anymore.
And the number one thing said by a person who still doesn't know what day it is...
1. Funny how being "back to work" hasn't cured the fact that I still have no idea what day it is.

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, you know I live in Florida, right? There's some strange things that happen here that happen no where else...

Florida is basically the movie The Mist but the fog is bath salt smoke and swamp gas. That’s where that state is at ecologically and atmospherically at this point. The Everglades are overrun with pythons that are growing to prehistoric proportions. They eat deer. We’re probably less than a decade from hearing about some poor bastard being swallowed whole in his car by some monstrous snake while driving his Fiat down a rural Florida road. Really, we’re close. A record-setting python has been captured (and euthanized) in South Florida. The beast clocked in at a hellish 17 feet, 5 inches and 120 pounds. The female snake is the largest Burmese python ever caught in South Florida. Ever caught. There’s probably a 25-footer out there somewhere deep in the swamp, swallowing crushed gator corpses like they’re chicken nuggets. The invasive species is decimating the fragile ecosystem in Everglades national park (presumably along with meth lab explosions and airboat wreckage), so much so that the South Florida Water Management District has a python elimination program. No limits. Kill them all until the Florida Everglades are freed from their almost literal cold, scaly grasp. Here's a photo of the 17-foot Burmese python captured in South Florida.

And snake hunters are aplenty. The man who captured the 17-foot python in question, Homestead resident Kyle Penniston, has killed 235 pythons on his own. Overall, snake hunters participating in the South Florida Water Management District’s program have killed 1,859 of the invasive pythons. All put together those Burmese pythons measure over two miles in length. One-thousand eight-hundred and fifty-nine. That’s just how many that have been caught and killed. In that part of Florida. For reference, there are only 3,890 wild tigers left in the whole entire world. What the SFWMD should start doing is handing out katanas and flamethrowers and offering a thousand dollars a head. BYOG would also be an option. Would that also wreck the Everglades ecosystem and catch a lot of native wildlife in the crossfire? Almost definitely. Every trailer dweller and gun store e-newsletter subscriber in the state would be out there lighting up the Everglades like it was ‘Nam. Anything to put “Python Hunter” on a business card and also have a reason to order business cards. Still, this Burmese python invasion has to be met with force. Wild, figuratively and probably slightly literally naked, Florida force. Until every single one of these monsters is gone. And then, inevitably, when another generation of Floridians comes to pass and they release their own pet pythons into the swamps after realizing that taking them to the club wrapped around their necks will not score them women or a seat at the cocaine table, the whole cycle will begin again.

These people who are down with the sickness.

Okay, let's see what's going on in Port Jeff, shall we?

Absolutely nothing. Not a bloody soul. Oh, well.

Hands
Top feet

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"

I'm soooo excited about this. Today's guest is an American actress and director. She is the recipient of various accolades, including two Academy Awards, three Primetime Emmy Awards, two Golden Globe Awards, and a Screen Actors Guild Award, and she has been nominated for a Tony Award and two BAFTA Awards. Her book In Pieces is the 123rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Please welcome to the Phile... Sally Field!

Me: Hey there, Sally, this is a big thrill for me to have you here. Welcome to the Phile. How are you doing?

Sally: I'm good. How are you?

Me: Not too bad. So, your book In Pieces is the 123rd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club. Tell the readers what it's about.

Sally: It's a memoir that takes readers on a journey from my lonely childhood in Pasadena to my glittering years on Broadway and in Hollywood.

Me: So, where did the title of the book come from?

Sally: When my mother passed away on my 65th birthday several years ago I thought I'd done all the right things. I've had those conversations, we resolved anything less that needed to be resolved I thought and yet I was deeply disquieted like there was some urgent thing, something festering on me and I couldn't find out what the wound was I felt I had to dig in, find all the pieces of my life and put them out in front of me and put them together. Piece them together to see what picture it was that I was missing. That if I couldn't do that then I'd never be able to move on. I would always feel this deeply disquieted anxious feeling inside of me. So that's what I did. I began to uncover and look for the parts and pieces of myself. I was looking for my mother. I was looking for some resolve inside myself with my life and me which had to do with my relationship with my mother. That's what it was.

Me: I lost my parents on 2000, so I get it. What was your mom like?

Sally: She was really a complicated wonderful person. But very complicated, very human. She was an actress, she was very beautiful. She was put under contract before I was born by somebody that just spotted her in the theater in the war when my real father was away at the war... World War II. And she was put under contract at Paramount and she never thought about being an actor. She'd be going to City College in Pasadena.

Me: Who did she marry later?

Sally: A stuntman named Jack Mahoney, he was the one who sexually abused me.

Me: Yeah, you talk about it in the book. You say she "abandoned" you in the book. Where was she? 

Sally: I don't know. I ask that question genuinely. I don't know. Part of the quest is having the picture of her so perhaps I can figure out that time a little more clearly. And understanding him, understanding her. Seeing my brother in it, and my sister. And ultimately the evolution of me, of how that survival system that created as a child in me. The survival mechanism that allowed me navigate very complicated motional terrain as a child of seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. I needed to understand that system and how it got placed there, what exactly it was because I spent my lifetime trying to untangle it.

Me: Later you started your career, as Gidget and the flying nun and stuff. How was it doing those sitcoms and looking so happy when all this stuff was going on?

Sally: I had those characters too. I mean I was also in pieces, and there was a personality of me that was very sunny and Gidget, I loved her. She was incredibly important to me. She still lives in me that is joyous and gleeful and fines fun in things. And yet there are aspects of me that aren't that, that are dark and sad and furious. That also deals with the title of In Pieces.

Me: I have to show a pic of you as Gidget...

Me: Cute. You said you were in a "fog mist" of your life except when you were acting. What do you mean by that?

Sally: Well, I think part of my survival mechanism I was moving into my adolescence was to put myself into a fog so my feeling were less sharp. Everything was numbed to a degree. I couldn't really perceive a lot of the feelings and complexities that were going on inside of me. There was so much fear riding around and the danger of it.

Me: Fear of what?

Sally: When I lived with a man whose potentially dangerous and I adored him, that's a very frightening place for a child. I felt safe when I was in the fog. Safer when I was in the fog. And as a result when I was in high school I could hardly read a book. I certainly couldn't do math or anything that called on that part of my brain.

Me: Why is that?

Sally: Because it called for me to be gaged in what was happening. But I couldn't memorize a poem, I couldn't memorize dialogue. When I finally found a stage at twelve something happened. The fog cleared, a bell rang. And I could hear myself, and I could react. It's a feeling of being utterly exquisitely alive.

Me: The book is not really a happy book, you talk about a lot of personal stuff, Sally. What was it like writing all this down?

Sally: It was really for myself this search. Something I felt an urgency to find. Urgency that took seven years but I had no publisher, I had nobody on my team, I finally reached out to a literary agent in New York who boldly reached out to someone who seemed to represent some of the writers that I admired like Elizabeth Stroud, Jane Smiley and Frank McCourt who arguable wrote one of the great memoirs ever... Angela's Ashes. And this was early on, like nine years ago. She said, "This is what I want you to do. I want you to write 50 to 80 pages and if I respond to that I'll represent that and not you." So that 50 pages that she told me to write many years ago turned into 80, turned into a hundred, turned into a year, turned into two years, to three years to 200 pages to 250 pages. Seven years later and sent it to her.

Me: When you finally sent it in what were you thinking?

Sally: I completely expected Molly to go "that's a nice try. Isn't that a nice try? Well done. We're going to have to figure out how to get you an education, and fix it up really well." That's what I thought and that's not what she did. She said, "I'm the one yelling at you to publish it. These are the editors I want you to meet with."

Me: So, did you ever think that you changed your mind and didn't want this book put out?

Sally: Yes, the day before publishing. Literally.

Me: So, what happened?

Sally: My wonderful editor I said to her, "Is it too late to change my mind? Maybe we can think about it. Maybe next year. Maybe the following year. Year after that even? Or literally when I'm on my death bed. What about that?"

Me: Now it's been out for a few years how do you feel?

Sally: I don't know. I'm completely back in my fog. I don't know. I can't really tell.

Me: Since the book came out and within those seven years the rise of the MeToo movement came up. Did you see this book being part of that conversation that was happening?

Sally: I don't know. I can't really tell. The episodes I talk about in this are really not used in ways to lash out at any of the things that happened to me or the people who perpetrated them. It's really an examination of myself within that. Examination of how all this fit into a pre formed rut in my road. How I was predisposed and put myself to respond as I did. So it's not really examining them or examining if this situation was right or wrong. It only talk about my feeling within it. Even though I say that I'm very appreciative that women spoke out. But I know that the outrage is number one. That's the first thing... loud screaming rage of wrong. This behavior has to stop. But that's just the beginning, there has to be something else on the other side of it, to change society. Because it has to do with how we raise our little boys and our little girls. That bad behavior comes from somewhere. I raised three sons and men are also raised in tight little box to behave like a "man." What is that? It disallows them a great deal of themselves, of their humanity, of their softness, their tenderness, of their instinct. Their instincts are cut off from themselves.

Me: Why do you think that is?

Sally: Because they're not allowed to behave certain ways. They're also taught that this bad behavior is cool, it's great, it makes them more of a man. More sexy, any of that. That has to be undone.

Me: Also they deny, deny, and deny and not take ownership of their actions, right?

Sally: That's it, yes. Especially those that are caught in the spotlight of all of this and have never realized in their lives that they are part and parcel of this, their behavior has been not ideal. But within the confines of when they grew up and how they grew up they were acting like everybody else as far as they could see.

Me: You went through some stuff like this, right?

Sally: Yes, I talk about in the book how a director asked me to kiss him before he gave me a part in a film. He came out and said that's completely untrue.

Me: Sheesh. How does it feel for you to write a painful moment and then thrown back at you like that?

Sally: I don't think about that. I could be outraged and I could be incensed, or any of those, but that doesn't get anything done. There has to be something on the other side of it.

Me: So, how did you get though life with all of this, Sally?

Sally: I was born in the 40s, raised in the 50s, came of age in the 60s. It's hard to think people would take me seriously. That's the hard part, so over looking that, finding away to navigate through that is second nature to me because that's all there was. So I can't pause and feel what it feels like to be treated with such great disregard and not believed and trivialized. It takes too much time to stop and feel it, I have to keep plowing on.

Me: Sally, thanks for being on the Phile. Please come back again sometime. Stay well.

Sally: Thank you. You too.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Sally Field for a greta interview. I didn't get to ask her about her movies though. Hopefully next time. The Phile will be back on Friday with musician Dan Baird. Spread the word, not the turd... or virus. Don't let snakes or alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Happy Mother's Day to all those moms out there!

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon