Pheaturing Oh Wonder

Hey there, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Thursday. How are you? Soooo... Ellen DeGeneres has officially come out as friends with George W. Bush. When gay icon Ellen DeGeneres was spotted laughing at a football game with President George W. Bush, who campaigned on adding a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, people were upset. What is Dory from Finding Nemo doing yukking it up with a war criminal? Ellen took time out of her show to clear the air: she did not arrive at the Cowboys game on a double date with George and Laura, but yes: she is friends with Dubya. The host compared Bush's record of invading Iraq, authorizing torture, and bringing about the Great Recession to wearing a fur coat... sometimes people just disagree! "I'm friends with a lot of people who don't share the same beliefs I have," she said. "I wish people wouldn’t wear fur. I don’t like it, but I’m friends with people who wear fur... But just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be friends with them. When I say be kind to one another, I don’t mean only the people that think the same way that you do. I mean be kind to everyone." For many on Twitter, the "be kind to everyone" doctrine does not extend to disastrous presidents. It's a scary sign of how rich people will soon talk about Trump. The Right, however, were psyched to have Ellen on board. Ellen went as far as sharing a tweet on screen that says that the new buddy comedy gives her "faith in America again." But she conveniently edited out the "HAHAHA." Congratulations to Ellen on coming clean. But more importantly, congratulations to George W. Bush on having his reputation reduced from "terrible, harmful president" to "like a person who wears fur."
All the money in the world can't buy a good reason to hang out with a pedophile. Prince Andrew, Queen Elizabeth II's second son, was accused of statutory rape by Virginia Roberts Giuffre, one of Jeffrey Epstein's wards. A video recently resurfaced of Andrew hanging out in Epstein's Upper East Side sex trafficking headquarters in 2010, after Epstein had plead guilty to pedophilia. The Palace is now floating the line that Andrew visited Epstein to officially end the friendship in person, which is quite courteous of him. If I had any friends who turned out to be sex offenders I would absolutely ghost them, and publicly express my disgust. Wait... I did have a friend that was a sex offender many, many years ago and no, he's not my friend anymore. Anyway, according to The Sunday Times, "The Duke of York has told friends that the trip to New York in December 2010 was an attempt to break off contact with the paedophile." Andrew's "source" told the paper, "The duke has been hammered for one mistake, which took place in 2010. He has apologized again and again for the error of judgment. But what he did wasn’t criminal. It was a mistake. He went to see a friend to tell them he couldn’t be their friend anymore." The excuse is challenged not only by common sense, but by photographic evidence. The Daily Mail published photos of the visit, which show Andrew smiling and waving at young women from inside the townhouse. Was he there to break up with them as well? The prince/duke/alleged rapist insists that he was unaware of Epstein's crimes during their friendship, even though it was a matter of public record. The FBI is reportedly investigating the connection between the prince and the pedophile, so stay tuned for the official confirmation that this excuse is dumb.
A conservative site's latest attempted hit job on Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez backfired for being a layered cake of bad-faith stupidity. The Washington Times put on the front page of their website a story about AOC spending $80 on a haircut and $180 at a Washington salon. They gleefully promoted the story as an "exclusive," and people joked on Twitter, "does it count as an exclusive if it's a story so inane that nobody else would publish it?" People criticized the scoop for a variety of reasons. First of all, fixating on AOC's beauty budget is inherently sexist. Society can't insist that women look well-groomed at every possible moment and then shame them for having to live up to expectations. Being a woman is great because you're damned if you look after your appearance, and damned if you don't. Plus, fancy male politicians like John Edwards and Bill Clinton saw barbers who charged in the triple-digits. Where's the "exclusive" on that? Women with hair who have had haircuts generously pointed out that that's just how much haircare costs. The piece tries to frame AOC as a hypocrite for spending money on her hair, because according to conservatives, socialists should abstain from any and all capitalist transactions. Not only is the haircut expense standard for women with hair, but paying a stylist a fair wage for her work is consistent with socialism. Congratulations to The Washington Times on their ignorance, and to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on her beautiful head of hair. Most importantly, congratulations to the D.C. stylist who does great work!
Melania Trump's anti-bullying campaign has been the laughingstock of the Internet ever since she launched it in 2018 with the extremely mockable slogan "Be Best." Given the amount of backlash her "Be Best" campaign has received, one would expect Melania to abandon ship. But nevertheless, the First Lady has persisted. Monday she gave a speech about her campaign, explaining that it's about "helping children and ensuring that we are doing all we can to take care of the next generation." LOL. Has Melania Trump even met her husband? The Internet immediately responded by calling out the First Lady on the many problem with her alleged concern for "helping children" and "caring" about the future. People are pointing out the Trump administration's flagrant abuse of children at the border and their disregard for climate change, the biggest threat to the next generation. Not to mention the fact that her husband is the biggest and possibly most dangerous bully in the world. The whole thing is such blatant bullshit one has to wonder if she's trolling us all, including the President. Is Melania Trump a trojan horse for the resistance using her platform to drag the Trump family, and eventually bring them all down? Doubtful. But a guy can dream.
This whole story sound like a ridiculous word salad, but I promise you, it is real. Last week on "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon," Taylor Swift shared a fun video of her, post-Lasik surgery, crying over a banana. Bieber mocked the video on an Instagram Livestream, pissing off funs who were already upset with the Biebs given this summer's drama between Swift and Bieber's manager, Scooter Braun. Both Taylor Swift stans and casual listeners pointed out the rudeness of Bieber's video after spending the summer begging for her forgiveness. The backlash was intense enough that Hailey Bieber responded to a Swift fan, insisting that the Biebers mean no offense, and that people upset at them are stupid to let themselves feel that way. Looking forward to the Biebers' next apology. They've gotten good at this.
I said this before and I'll say it again... I like Bieber, he's a Foghat fan.

Yes, he's wearing a Foghat t-shirt. So, do you remember when Trump claimed that the Army in the Revolutionary War took over the airports? Well, it might have been true after all and I have proof.

See? Trump was right after all. Haha. At the Climate Control Strike a few weeks ago there were some signs that give us hope for the future...

I like that one. There were some snarky ones as well.

Ever see those people on the side of the road with cardboard signs? Some get very creative...

Hahaha. That's funny. Ever get a note from your neighbors like this one?

I hope not. Hey, it's Thursday. You know what that means...

Ewwww!!! Alright, it's time to talk football with my good friend Jeff.

Me: Hey there, Jeff, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Jeff: Hey, Jason, it's always great to be back here on The Phile. I'm doing alright. How about yourself?

Me: I'm okay, just a little tired. Okay, before we talk about football I have to ask what's the deal with this pic?

Jeff: This past Saturday my town was having a Taco Festival. So that's just me about to eat a taco. So what it was a giant inflatable taco. They didn't say you couldn't eat it!

Me: Do you often try to eat food that's not real? Hahaha.

Jeff: I do that from time to time. Whenever I see a giant piece of food like that, I always take a picture where I try to eat it. Here's one of me from many years ago eating a giant hot dog while in the Bermudas.

Me: Hahaha. I have to say I'm so sorry about Steelers backup QB Mason Rudolph who was knocked out after a scary hit from Earl Thomas during Sundays Steelers-Ravens game. How is he now?

Jeff: The hit Mason Rudolph took was brutal. He's currently in concussion protocol. As of right now, it's not looking like he will play on Sunday. The Steelers had a rash of injuries other than Rudolph, a LB and a HB were also injured in the loss against the Ravens.

Me: Speaking of injuries I thought Saquon Barkley from the Giants was gonna play last Sunday's game. Do you think he'll play tonight's game against the Patriots?

Jeff: Barkley is definitely healing but they didn't want to risk him coming back too early last Thursday. As far as tonight's game goes, I would be surprised if he plays. I think him playing next week is definitely more likely. That's not the only injury you have to worry about as Engram is also listed as questionable.

Me: He's definitely not playing. What NFL news do you have?

Jeff: Biggest news of the week is about a QB in New York but the other guys. Sam Darnold looks like he will return to the Jets after a brief bout of Mono. Not to mention there is a head coach opening midseason already. The Redskins, after a 0-5 start, fired Jay Gruden. Bill Callahan was named interim coach as the Redskins get ready to play Miami.

Me: America has another team back with a more patriotic logo and name...

Me: That's the best team there is! What do you think?

Jeff: Well, there are a lot of cities that might argue with that tag line but they are definitely in the mix. I like that one as well USA! USA USA! And can you say "the best team there is" when you're record is 2-3? I mean sure it's better than 1-4. Winning is overrated anyway.

Me: Ha! So, how did we do with last weeks picks? Lemme guess... you're still in the lead?

Jeff: We had a mirror image week. We both went 1-1 with our teams losing. So yes, I'm still maintaining my lead. I have 2 more wins prediction wise but the Giants have one more win than the Steelers. So I lead by 3.

Me: Let's do this weeks picks. I say Panthers by 6 and I have to pick the Redskins vs. Dolphins game... the Tank Bowl. I think it's gonna be shown on the Cartoon Network. Hahaha. I say Redskins by 7. What do you say, Jeff?

Jeff: My picks are the Ravens will the Bengals winless with a 6 point win and Chiefs by 8.

Me: All right, I will see you back here next Thursday. Have a good week.

Jeff: See you next week!

If you spot the Mondphuck let me know. So, have you seen the Joker movie yet? A friend of the Phile has and wants to say something about it. So, it's time once again for...

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!: The Joker Thoughts! This may have came out too soon. So everyone is going off on this movie in different ways and not going to lie... it's quite a pleasure to see! You have those that think this film is a masterpiece sent by the GODS! Then you have those that think this film is a ticking time bomb for those looking to explode. Then you have people like... well ME! So... Where do I stand on all this madness after seeing the clown prince come to life? Well, I will definitely say this movie maaaaaay have came out way too early and I'm not talking about the production of the movie. The production of it all was amazing, great visuals, cinematographer, and whoever did the writing needs to be given a huge pizza! However what I mean by "too early" is because... of our society. See this isn't just an ordinary comic book film and not even in a Dark Knight kinda way either but more of a film trying to send a message with one of the characters helping send this message to you all and with how this country handles its violence, mental health issues, and political disputes that's in high tension as we speak. It's hard not to see what the fear is about when it comes to this film. But that's what makes Joker... A GOOD... FILM! Now realize I said GOOD not fantastic, or a masterpiece of a film. It's just good to me because it did a fantastic job telling me a story about a person that embodies what people fear most. And they do a great job delivering on that fear for a movie that was suppose to just tell a dark story but yet has hints of horror in there at times that you don't know how certain things will play out in the end. So this is where DC fans are going to chew me out... The only thing that is keeping this from being a fantastic 5/5 sabers is because of a few reasons. Joker looked weak in this film and even towards the very end of the film. He's looked at to me as weak especially after the big finale at the end and that truly disappointed me. There were A LOT of not good cringy moments where I thought I needed to walk out the theater and rethink my decision to watch this film and some of it came from his laugh. Also about his laugh, I won't spoiler his laugh for you all but I will say I hate the idea of. Gotta say it was a bold move making a gritty, super dark, and heavy messaged film like this but it welcomed to me. I think the idea of theaters trying to take it out his quite funny but that's a whole other thing! It will diffidently stir the pot and I won't act like this movie won't definitely ruffle feathers cause it suuuure will and it already has. I'll later talk about why I felt so STRONGLY about the message it delivered but if you want to know what that message was... suck it up... and see the movie. That simple. I give this movie 4 sabers out of 5... Now if only we can have this Joker in the DCU in someway... hmmmm.

From Fat Tuesdays to Ass Wednesdays.

Donald Trump was ordered by a federal judge to hand over eight years of tax returns to the Manhattan District Attorney. While presidents and presidential candidates have willingly made their tax returns public in the name of transparency, Trump has gone to great lengths to keep his secret, because nothing says "I have nothing to hide" like keeping things hidden. Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance is seeking the president's tax returns for his investigations into the porn star hush money payments during the 2016 campaign. Trump sued to keep his secrets secret, but U.S. District Judge Victor Marrero dismissed the lawsuit, and slammed Trump's argument that a president is immune from criminal investigations. Trump's lawyers appealed the decision... and the judge granted them a stay... but the clock is ticking. Hopefully. For years we've been told that things were happening that would damage Trump when things still have yet to actually damage him. This could be yet another jam the president wiggles his way out of, but it's still nice to see a judge rule against him.

The 106th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

John Irving will be on the Phile on Monday. Okay, there's a famous 70s singer that likes to come on to the Phile when he's in town and tell us what's going on in his life. He's in town again and wanted to say hello, so please welcome back to the Phile...

Me: Hey, Harry, how are you?

Harry: I'm great, Jason.

Me: So, what's the latest? Got recognized lately?

Harry: Yeah, I was sitting in a restaurant and this guy recognises me, walks over and says hello.

Me: That's great!

Harry: Yeah, but then this other guy who was at the next table says, "You’re Harry Webb?” I said, "Yes," He then says, "I have seen any recent pictures of you. You’ve gotten older.”

Me: Oh, shit. What did you say then?

Harry: I said it happens.

Me: That's true.

Harry: Yep. Okay, Jason, I'd love to stay but I have to dash off and get ready for my gig tonight.

Me: Where are you playing?

Harry: At the Starlight Ranch. Cheerio!

Me: See ya. Harry Webb, kids!

A couple sat watching TV, and the husband keeps flicking channels... Golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn. Wife says, "For fucks sake leave it on porn, you know how to play golf."

Today's pheatured guests are a London-based alt-pop duo whose latest album "Ultralife" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify right now. Please welcome to the Phile from Oh Wonder... Anthony West and Josephine Vander Gucht.

Me: Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile. How are you?

Josephine: We are good, thank you for having us.

Me: You two are such a cute couple. Where did you two meet?

Anthony: We met at a studio in London about eight years ago and we started to write songs together.

Me: So, before that you two didn't know each other?

Anthony: Basically.

Josephine: Kinda, yeah. Someone recommended Anthony to me as a producer and I went around to say hello and thought, "oh, you're quite nice. I'll come back." LOL. Then we just started hanging out and writing songs for about a year. Then eventually released one two years later, and that was the start of our band. 

Me: When you two met and started to write songs was it for yourselves to record?

Anthony: Yeah, we just wanted to be songwriters, and stay at home, not touring. It wasn't on the agenda. We do love touring but it wasn't literally on the cards. So we released a song a month, which is awesome because we basically had a deadline, which we never get to have as artists or musicians. 

Josephine: It was like building a portfolio. Within a year we would have twelve or thirteen songs that we then could pitch to other people and we'll both song on them so we can pitch to make and female artists. Jobs a given, and it all back fired.

Me: You put your music on Soundcloud and the reviews went up, right?

Josephine: Yeah.

Me: What was your reaction? I bet you weren't expecting that.

Josephine: It was just really weird, none of that had ever happened to us. Like we had solo projects and we'd be pleading with our friends and family to come to our shows and listen to our EPs and spread them around. This just happened so organic...

Anthony: We were anonymous for the first six months. No one knew, even our friends didn't know. There was times we'd be at house parties and our songs came on and we'd be like hmmm...

Josephine: This is awesome! It was really odd, it was weird, yeah. It pulled us, definitely.

Me: Were you kinda excited about it or were you reluctant at first?

Josephine: Oh, we were very excited. 

Anthony: We just never knew we were going to be doing it.

Josephine: It was just a side project. We each had our own managers. Even five months into the project we were like guys, you should probably meet. We were fielding so many requests from people.

Me: So, you two were solo artists?

Josephine: Yeah, this was totally a side project. Just like a bit of fun. So our mangers met, they become best buds, and now here we are.

Me: Was there a moment where you realized this might be life changing?

Anthony: Playing our first show outside the U.K. was crazy, which was actually our second ever show.

Me: Where did you play?

Anthony: We played four shows to start off. We played London, L.A., New York and Paris.

Me: All are good, but Paris? Haha.

Anthony: After our first album came out we were like oh, cool, we're done now. Now we've done like 280 since or more.

Me: Where was your second ever show?

Anthony: It was in Los Angeles.

Me: So, how did it go? What did you think?

Josephine: Oh, good.

Me: What was your first thought about America?

Josephine: It was hot. It was insane. It was just the first show as Oh Wonder. We both played hundreds of thousands of gigs before that. It was I think the first show either of us have played where we just felt like it was different.

Me: What was different about it?

Josephine: Well, everyone in the room, because of the nature of the way we had released our music, everybody and still, everybody knows every word of every songs. It's not like we ever had one big single which is a blessing, like it's a blessing and a curse. It's amazing because we still play shows and everyone knows every song on our albums. It was just so refreshing. People were so loud.

Me: So, what was your very first show like as Oh Wonder?

Anthony: It was like a community at out first show.

Josephine: We just saw people dancing, kissing, people on their own just losing their shit.

Me: And the first show in America? How was that?

Josephine: We were like on the other side of the world, it was odd.

Anthony: It was bizarre, like a dream.

Me: Now you are writing songs for your band opposed to for other people, how does that change the process?

Anthony: Um. We tried to keep everything really close between Josephine and I. We do all the writing ourselves, we didn't want to change that formula.

Me: Now you have your second album out, "Ultralife," did it feel different this time?

Josephine: It felt more personal because what was for me our first record, because we were writing those songs to pitch to other people. They never felt truly about our lives I suppose...?

Anthony: We were telling stories about other people before and other scenarios.

Josephine: Character based, yeah, whereas our album "Ultralife" is literally like I see so many moments of the last couple of years in that record.

Me: Now that you are performing and recording your own music tougher is it hard to establish your own goals now? You two didn't set out for all this.

Josephine: Mmmm, that's a really good question.

Anthony: I think through performing the songs we've written we realised how they affect people. For me that's become one of our goals. To write songs then go to a place and see how they affect people, it's crazy. We heard some incredible stories from around the world. People have literally been in a flood of tears telling us how our songs literally soundtracked like the craziest moments.

Me: What did they say?

Josephine: There's so many incredible stores. Just how our sings have soundtracked... highs and lows of peoples lives, losing people, falling in love... we get played at loads of weddings for first dances and things like that. People think their relationships are soundtracked to our records. We get a lot of proposals at our shows.

Anthony: Actually for "Ultralife" there's this amazing kid called Noah, and he was the first ever person to hear the song "Ultralife" because he was dying of cancer, and he was 18 and we sent him "Ultralife" the night before he passed. We kept on Skyping him...

Josephine: He was such a big fan, he'd been to our shows and he had a really, really rare form of cancer.

Anthony: They played "Ultralife" at his funeral and his dad emailed it to us. There was like 4000 people at his funeral.

Josephine: He was like such a cool kid.

Anthony: To be involved in other peoples lives like that is amazing.

Josephine: Now his whole family feels like "Ultralife" is like a connection to him because that's the last song he listened to. He was the first person in the world to hear it. Just little things like that. There are so many of those stories but they live with us like it's more important than anything for us. Music is one of those rare forces that brings people together from all backgrounds, faces, religions, ages, whatever. There's just a bunch of people in a room listening to an album live. There's tons of people listening and it brings people together. I feel blessed to be working in the few industries that can achieve that. So seamlessly and so beautifully.

 Me: Wow, you guys really bought this interview down. Haha. Just kidding. So, I like the older song "All We Do." Who did you write that song for originally?

Anthony: I'm trying to think when we wrote that song.

Josephine: When we wrote that song on New Years Eve it popped out of us in like four minutes. It was one of those weird ones, where we didn't really write it, we just harnessed it from the abyss above.

Anthony: It just came out. We had a voice recorder on our phone and we were like cool, we're done. 

Josephine: New Years Eve is like the prime time to make resolutions about the person we're going to be next year. We were trying to write a song about the importance of believing in ourselves and never giving up, taking risks and kinda seeing the world in our own way, upside down.

Me: Well, thanks kids, for being on the Phile. Please come back again real soon. Take care.

Anthony: Thanks, Jason. You rock.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to my guests Jeff Trelewicz, Cadence Hall and of course Andrew and Josephine from Oh Wonder. The Phile will be back on Monday, Columbus Day, with author John Irving. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon