Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Pro-MAGA smear artist (and indicted felon) Jacob Wohl is back at it again with his big little lies, and it backfired in the most beautiful fashion. Seeing Elizabeth Warren surging in the polls, Wohl and his henchman Jack Burkman decided to write fanfiction, enlisting a 24-year-old man to say that he had sex with the senator. Reports of an affair would be damaging to any politician who isn't Trump, but Wohl went the extra mile, telling a sordid tale of Warren and a former marine that would make a powerful erotic novel. "These charges will shock the conscious of the nation," Burkman said, and by "conscious," I assume he means conscience. Wohl and Burkman hosted a press conference on Burkman's driveway, complete with a PowerPoint that says "Elizabeth Warren Cougar." They forgot the punctuation, and the "Mellencamp." The duo brought up the fake Warren male mistress, who took off his shirt to show off a scar allegedly from Warren's feisty fingernails (!!!). Journalist Brandy Zadrozny debunked that instantly, going to the guy's Instagram and screenshotting the caption that says it's from a chain. This story already seems wild enough for 2019 , but it gets even better. Warren's campaign caught wind of the attempted "cougar" smear, and decided to own it with a subtweet, while also pivoting to the issues. The subtweet and clever admission of cougardom was immediately heralded as the campaign clap-back of 2020 so far.
Hilariously shutting down dumb smears? Elizabeth Warren has a plan for that.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is known for lots of things... her Green New Deal, her immense popularity with millennials, her social media savvy, and her clap-backs. She's basically the Chrissy Teigen of politics, meaning it's a huge mistake to come for her. And if there's one thing our president is good at, it's making huge mistakes. Today's story of Trump's cyber-bullying blowing up in his face began when his son Don Jr. shared a video on Twitter Friday morning of a woman speaking at Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's recent town house. In the video, the woman is having a climate change-related meltdown (normal) in which she says humans need to start "eating babies" (not normal). The only thing crazier than this would be not believing in climate change... can you even imagine? Oh wait... "Seems like a normal AOC supporter to me," wrote Don Jr. Donald Trump, the actual President of the United States (in case you've been fortunate enough to be living under a rock for 3 years), shared his son's tweet and added this eloquent-as-usual observation, "AOC is a Wack Job!" wrote Trump, who has been even angrier and more erratic than usual on social media over the past week ever since the House of Representatives moved forward with impeachment proceedings. Many people were quick to point out that Trump is in no position to be criticizing anyone else on their lack of sanity given that the only thing he has done consistently is act batshit insane. Even tennis champ Martina Navratilova hit back by calling him out on hypocrisy AND a spelling error. And Bernie Sanders proved he's already made a recovery from his recent hospitalization for cardiac issues by coming through with this firey response, "Trump is gonna be feeling that burn!" But the best response came from AOC herself. "Better than being a criminal who betrays our country," she wrote. Succinct, savage, smart, and the truth: all the ingredients for the perfect burn. As TV writer Jesse McLaren pointed out, AOC won this feud by a long-shot. Numbers don't lie. The only thing about this presidency that isn't hell is watching Trump get obliterated on Twitter. Let's hope he has access to WiFi in prison.
There are two activities anti-vaxxers consistently love: exposing their children to potentially fatal illnesses, and arguing with scientists. At this point, it clearly doesn't matter how many times anti-vaxxers get shut down by scientists, former friends, or roast jokes, they persist in spreading their deeply dangerous beliefs. Luckily, there is always someone ready to rebuttal with facts, and so the endless cycle of discussion and disagreement continues. A few weeks back an anti-vaxxer posted a tweet blaming "Big Pharma" and "ignorant lawmakers" for an unvaccinated kid's expulsion, and it quickly sparked discussion.
A lot of pro-science people chimed in with equal parts empathy for the kid, and support of the school district's public health precautions. People also pointed out how misguided it was to place blame on the school district for putting the kid in this sad position, when all the blame rests on the parents. One woman's quote tweet of it quickly sparked a heated discussion between an anti-vaxxer and a disease specialist. In a (now deleted) tweet, a detractor posted about the mercury in vaccines, claiming they present a big danger. This detraction inspired a very pointed question, and follow up point. The conversation got wilder when Lisa Bonet was brought into it. The conversation reached a peak when the woman debating the anti-vaxxer showed her credentials. While the interaction between the two women didn't end friendly, a lot of others jumped onto the exchange to share their pro-science views. While it can be cathartic to watch people roast conspiracy theorists, the end goal is for more people to become educated and ditch their deeply dangerous anti-vaxx views.
There are lots of options for people seeking casual sex or dating these days. If you're at all acquainted with Tinder, then you know it's a mixed bag of perverts, introverts, and people so normal it's downright boring. The pervs want to sex you up, the introverts want to chat you up (from behind the safety of their phone), and the normies would be worth dating if they weren't so dull. All in all, Tinder remains the Wild West of dating apps, where it seems that anything within reason goes. So imagine Niall Taylor's surprise when Tinder deemed his bio inappropriate and removed it for "sexual content." The alleged sexual content in question? A quip that's perfectly poised to break the ice and foster conversation. Best of all, it demonstrates Niall's excellent sense of humor. What's more attractive than that?
Ladies: would you give Niall a spin? No matter what Tinder's decreed, he sounds like a man worth meeting.
Vanity Fair has released a graphic detailed piece about Robert Kraft’s trips to the massage parlor in Jupiter, Florida. Kraft, who reportedly attended Orchids of Asia Day Spa twice in January of 2019, was charged with two counts of solicitation of prostitution, but has plead not guilty and kept that stance throughout this entire process. According to Vanity Fair, "Among the patrons who turned up on the surveillance video at Orchids was Robert Kraft, the 78-year-old owner of the New England Patriots. Kraft, who visited the spa on the afternoon of January 19, spends part of the year in a double oceanfront apartment he owns on Breakers Row, among the most coveted addresses in Palm Beach. Earlier that day, according to a man I spoke with who asked to be identified only as Kraft’s 'best guy friend,' Kraft had gone to the hotel spa for a massage. When he was unable to get an appointment, he conferred with his old friend Peter Bernon, the dairy and plastics tycoon who also lives in Palm Beach. Bernon offered to drive Kraft in his 2014 white Bentley to a place he knew in Jupiter, 20 miles up the Treasure Coast. At Orchids, according to the Jupiter police, Kraft paid cash to the spa’s co-owner, Lei Wang, who goes by Lulu, and received a hand job from her and another worker, later identified as Shen Mingbi. After Kraft ejaculated, Mingbi wiped his penis with a white towel. Then she and Lulu helped him get dressed.'" Orchids reportedly reached out to Jeong about Kraft’s experience at the spa and were told that Kraft was thrilled. "He did not seem to understand that the spa was merely soliciting repeat business. The next day, Kraft returned to Orchids, this time with a driver in a 2015 blue Bentley. He arrived before 11 a.m., qualifying for the early bird special: $15 off. He received a hand job and a blow job from Lulu, and left after 14 minutes. That afternoon he flew to Kansas City, to watch his team play the Chiefs in the NFL playoffs. The Patriots won." Kraft’s case is still ongoing.
Alright, instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...
Ummm... maybe not. A few weeks ago at the Global Climate Strike some of the signs gave us hope for the future...
Other signs were very snarky...
I love it! Hey, so, Trump said that "our beautiful black wall is built! And visible from space! Thanks, Space Force! Winning!" I had no idea what he meant until I saw this...
Hahaha. That's so stupid. That's as stupid as...
So, if I had a TARDIS I would like tot go to the 1800s and see the Statue of Liberty when it first went to New York City. Knowing my luck though I'd see just this...
Creepy. Speaking of creepy did you know that some babies are born with a full set of teeth? No? Take a look...
Told you. One of the best things about the Internet is you can see porn so easily and free, but if you're at work or school it's not good. Plus I want you to stay reading the Phile and not go off to a porn site. So, being the genius that I am I came up with a solution.
You're welcome. Okay, country music fans...
Hahaha. So, there's this singer who was really popular in the 70s. Once in a while when he's in town he likes to stop by and tell us how it's going. So, please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hey, Harry, how are you?
Harry: I'm great, Jason. Thanks for asking? How are you?
Me: Pretty good. So, what's new?
Harry: I was just in Cancun over the weekend.
Me: You were? How did that go?
Harry: Well, this guy approached me while standing in line at coffee shop. He said, "My friend says you are a famous person. Is that true?" I replied, "That depends on your definition of fame." He said, "Will you show up on Google if I search your name?" I said, "Yes."
Me: And did he type your name into Google?
Harry: Yeah, he typed on his phone and asked, "You are Harry Connick Jr.?"
Me: Hahahahaha. You don't look anything like Harry Connick Jr. You look more like... never mind.
Harry: Yeah, I'm better looking than Connick. Well, I have to go and head to my gig I'm playing later tonight.
Me: Where are you playing?
Harry: At the Red Parrot Pool Bar at the DoubleTree by SeaWorld. Cheerio!
Me: Bye, have fun. Harry Webb, kids.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now for a new pheature called...
Zing!
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting into your eyes but when I do have something in my eye it's usually an eyelash. Eyeronic!!
Ginger Baker
August 19th, 1939 — October 6th, 2019
His first solo album was "Ginger Baker at his Best" and his last was just called "Why?" If that isn't some hardcore rockstar shit right there, I don't know what is.
Rip Taylor
January 13th, 1935 — October 6th, 2019
His nickname was "the crying comedian," and his signature move was throwing confetti around. Yeah... I got nothing.
Diahann Carroll
July 17th, 1935 — October 4th, 2019
She was the first black woman to star in a TV show (in 1968) in a non-servant role. She won an Academy Award for Best Actress. She worked with women at the L.A. Mission for decades. And she survived breast cancer. All of that is incredibly impressive, but there's just no getting around it: that is a RIDICULOUS way to spell Diane.
From little black dress to big white mess. I can’t believe she stopped to take a photo before incinerating that hoodie!
The 106th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
John Irving will be the guest on the Phile next Monday... a week from today.
Carl was talking to a girl in a bar. He asked, "Can I get you a drink?" The girl replied, "Certainly." Carl then asked, "What would you like?" The girl said, "Champagne." Carl then asked, "Why champagne?" The girl replied, "Because when I drink champagne I imagine I am a goddess on the Nile, draped in a long robe, relaxing peacefully, with servants fanning me and dropping peeled grapes into my mouth." Curious, Carl asked her, "What if I just buy you a draft beer?" The girl replied, "I'll cut wet farts all night."
Phact 1. Fatal Familial Insomnia is a brain disease that takes away your ability to sleep. You sink into horrible psychosis and inevitably die over the course of a few months. There is no cure and there are no viable treatments.
Phact 2. Feeding bread to ducks is extremely harmful to their health and their ecosystem.
Phact 3. California makes the same amount of money as Italy every year, and that Texas makes as much as Russia.
Phact 4. In 2008, a dog tried to save his owners lives after five armed pirates hijacked their yacht off the coast of Venezuela. After the men climbed aboard the dog furiously attacked them, biting and snapping until he was stabbed then shot. The dog survived and the pirates left almost empty handed.
Phact 5. November 28th, 2012 was the most peaceful day New York City has ever had, without a single reported murder, shooting, stabbing or other incident of violent crime.
Today's pheatured guest is an American actor, known for his portrayal of Billy Batson in the 1970s TV series "Shazam!" which you can see on the streaming service DC Universe or get it on DVD from Amazon. Please welcome to the Phile... Michael Gray.
Me: Hello, Michael, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Michael: I'm fine, Jason, how are you?
Me: I'm doing okay. Okay, so when I mentioned I was going to interview you to my son and explained who you were he said you were on "Archer." I doubted that and looked it up and he was right! Ha! How did that how thing come about?
Michael: I'll get to that in a second but I just did two more episodes. I'll tell you how it happened, many years ago were living in Southern California and my son was watching "Archer" with his friend. There was an episode where Archer is sitting out by the pool and he said to Lana, "What was that guy's name that played Billy Batson in 'Shazam!?'" And my son almost fell of the couch. Archer said, "Oh, I remember now... it was Michael Gray." So that was the beginning of it all. Then Adam Reed the creator of the show and the writer, he and I hooked up and he's a "Shazam!" fan and he asked me if I wanted to be on the show and I said absolutely. He said, "Will you say anything we write?" And I said, "Okay." Because gosh knows what they're going to write. They had me play "TV's Michael Gray" and dressed in a slim body and they're in the last season now and I don't think they're going to get renewed at this point but I did two more episodes. I'll be TV's Michael Great again.
Me: I have a screenshot from the episode you were on. I watched it on YouTube and laughed...
Me: I think I only watched one episode of it before. What was Adam like to work for?
Michael: He's very, very clever, he really is.
Me: My dad's favorite super hero was Captain Marvel, who is now known as Shazam. And not long ago my son and I went to see the movie Shazam! and we both loved it. Did they ask you to cameo in it at all?
Michael: No, what happened was back in 2010 I was a friend of a guy named Michael who worked for Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne who told me they were doing a Shazam movie. I knew nothing about it. So 2012 rolled around and Warner Bros. called me and said they were doing a DVD, they remastered it and asked me to go to Comic Con with them and promote it. I said sure and I went down there with them and ran into a guy who was one of the executive producers of Shazam! at the time and he said, "We'll probably going to put you in a cameo. Would you like that?" I said, "Sure, it'll be a lot of fun." I was looking forward to this for decades really. So by the time they got around to making the movie two years ago I guess they started it he was not longer with them and the cameo never happened. A bunch of buddies of mine who work at Warner Bros. approached a couple of guys at DC I think and I don't know what the response was but it didn't happen. But now DC's got me working with them again which is pretty cool.
Me: Hopefully you'll be in the sequel, do you think?
Michael: I hope so. Now I know a lot of guys at DC because they're streaming it on DC Universe. I go to DC daily and I made connections with these guys now. Someone commented last week when I did the "DC Daily" episode that they'll probably be a sequel and I might be in it so let's see what happens.
Me: I remember when "Shazam!" was on TV and really liked it. So, how did you get cast for that role?
Michael: Well, I just had finished doing a series in Hawaii with Brian Keith and Shelley Fabares called "The Little People." Brain played a pediatrician and Shelley played a pediatrician as well. I was the kid, even though I was older than a kid, working in the doctor's office. The show was very successful and the reason I was in the show was because I was in all those Tiger Beat magazines back in the 70s, and Warner Bros. owned Independent News at the time and Independent News was publishing all the Tiger Beats and different teen magazines, so there was a connection there. I was in the series and the fan magazines were promoting it so the show was very successful but after the first year they changed the format of the show and took my character. So now I was unemployed and I wasn't sure what I was going to do at that point. Then I got a call from my agent who said Filmation and CBS want to talk to you about doing a Saturday morning show called "Shazam!" I went out there and talked to the guys and I was cast in it. I wasn't unemployed for too long and I got to work with Les Tremayne which was simply amazing as my mentor. He was great.
Me: Were you a fan of the comics before you got the roll?
Michael: I had to research when I got the roll. I was a fan of Superman, George Reeves when I was a kid. I grew up on that show. And of course I watched "Batman." Then Captain Marvel on "Shazam!" was something different.
Me: Adam West made a cameo on "Shazam!" as one of the elders. Did you ever run into him? I met him once and got to interview Burt Ward on the Phile.
Michael: I didn't run into him during he filming but I did a couple of shows with him back in the 70s. In the 70s we did car shows, there were no Comic Cons back then. Anybody who had a TV show back then would go out on the weekend and do car shows all over the country. So I got to work with Adam and Burt at a couple of them. Both nice guys. Funny story about Adam... we were doing a show in Charlotte, North Carolina and we both went to the airport at the same time to go back to L.A. and security back then was not like it is now, they would randomly go through a suitcase. So we got to Charlotte Airport and they went through Adam's suitcase and they pulled out a bag of cash because he as selling pictures at the shows. And they pulled out a mask and they said to him, "You have cash and a mask in here?" And he said, "I'm Batman." They said, "Sure you are." And I said, "Sure he is, that's Adam West, he's Batman." They looked at him like he robbed a bank or something, it was very funny.
Me: Hahahah. That's great! You used to sing as well back then, right? Was that your choice or did they make you do it?
Michael: I was nervous about it and I had to do it. If anybody was in teen magazines back then and had a series on we had to cut records and we had to do concerts all over the country. If we didn't have a series on we couldn't get people to go to our concerts. Because I was on "The Little People" and "Shazam!" they had me work with a vocal coach and we cut four records. I went to New York and met with the publishing company back there. We cut four records and met with the musicians and producers. Some of them worked with Andy Williams and stuff, and none of the records were released but I had to do a performance in San Francisco in front of the western state fair buyers. So I went up there with the group that called themselves the Archies and I sang "Sugar Sugar" in front of about 400 people that were buying acts for the western summer fairs and stuff. They would hire us and bring us out to fairs. So I finished singing and looked out at the people in the audience and they were staring at me with their mouths wide open. Nobody applauded and I thought this was not good. So that was as far as it ever went, I never got any records out and I never did any tours.
Me: So, "Shazam!" lasted only three seasons... did it get canceled?
Michael: Well, I heard different reasons. One of the reasons was the show was doing so well was the demographics of the kids that watched Saturday morning TV were very young. Because I was in teenage magazines there were teenagers watching the show as well. Kids from 11 to 19. So the show was very successful but what I was told it got too expensive to make for Saturday morning TV. It wasn't because the salaries that we were making that is for sure. I guess it go to expensive so they pulled it.
Me: What was it like filming the show?
Michael: It was hot. I got up at four in the morning and drive to the location and hour and a half away and we would do this five days a week. Most of the stuff was shot out in the San Fernando Valley or in desert areas so it got really, really hot because it was all summer shots. One scene was so hot Les and I were in the camper doing a scene and all of a sudden from the heat of the sun and the heat of the lights we heard a crack... the windshield cracked. There's a blooper reel somewhere of Les and I commented, "What the fuck?"
Me: How many of the Billy Batson sweatshirts did you have?
Michael: There was scenes where I was in water or falling out of trees and stuff so I think there was 12 of them. Some of them started to get faded, they weren't bright red by the end of the show. They were orange color, It was miserably hot out there.
Me: Did you have a stunt man or did you do the stunts yourself?
Michael: I did most of the stunts myself. Some of the motorcycle scenes I did myself but there were a couple where I was going really fast and they stuck a stunt man in.
Me: Do you regret ever taking the role of Billy?
Michael: I don't regret it, no. It was work. I was an actor and I was a working actor so I was very happy.
Me: After the show ended was it hard to get more work?
Michael: Looking back now after the show was off the air I continued to try and get work. I'd go out for auditions, and one time I went out for a night time soap opera, it was the part of a psychopathic killer and I made it through the casting people, through the director and I was in front of the producers, they were looking at me as I was doing the reading and one of them said, "We just cast you in this. You're still identifiable and Billy Batson." So it was a problem and I continued to try and try and try and I finally gave up. I said I can't do this anymore. So I reached a point where I said that's it for acting.
Me: You were acting, so it must have been hard. I guess its different with actors nowadays, right?
Michael: It's funny you said that, I said to the executive producer that day, "I was acting. You produce TV movies and stuff. What do you have, blinders on? I was acting and playing a part!" I opened my mouth and told them what I just said.
Me: Did you try different things to get jobs?
Michael: Yes, I tried. I grew a beard for a little while so I don't look like a teeny bopper but still didn't get any work.
Me: How old were you when you played Billy, Michael?
Michael: I was in my low 20s. I was playing 16, but about 22 or 23 I think.
Me: When you quit acting what did you do?
Michael: I was doing odd jobs for a long time. Before I got married I was doing construction work, I was selling chandeliers in a store, I was working in restaurants. I would work in a restaurant and people would come in who were fans. Some of the girls would be taking to me and the owner would say to me, "You can't talk to my customers." Some people thought it was so sad I was waiting on tables, it should be the other way round... Then I got engaged and I thought I had to do something to support a woman who had two kids already so that's when I bought a flower shop.
Me: When did you start acting?
Michael: When I was 15 in Miami, Florida, doing community theater and summer stock. It's in my heart, it's in my soul, I love it. The fact I couldn't do it for a long time it was tough.
Me: You did voice work on "Archer," are you thinking of doing more voice work?
Michael: Yes. I'll take anything they'll give me honestly, if it's voice work or talk shows.
Me: So, the role of Captain Marvel in "Shazam!" was switched from Jackson Botswick to John Davey in the beginning of the second season, right? What happened there?
Michael: We knew nothing. There was some friction between Jackson and myself, I think there still might be and I don't understand. I think Jackson was under the impression that Les and I knew what happened to him, we didn't know anything. We go to the set one day and waiting, and waiting and waiting, guest cast members were there, Les and I were there, the crew was there and there was no Jackson. All of a sudden a car pulled up and two executives get out of the car and there's a guy with them, a big tall guy, a little overweight and they said, "Michael, Les, this is John Davey. He'll be playing Captain Marvel." We were like what, we didn't know anything, they didn't tell us anything. There was a rumor floating around that Jackson wanted more money and they fired him. We found out later on that Jackson did a stunt on the episode before that I remember and he got hurt. I remember that stunt and I remember he got hurt but I don't know how badly he got or nor if he went to a doctor or nurse which he did. So that's what happened, he got hurt, didn't show up at the set and for some reason they interpreted he wanted more money which he did not which I understood and they ended up replacing him. He ended up suing them and he won the law suit. So I liked Jackson, I got along with him very well, he's a nice guy but I ran into him at a couple of shows and he wouldn't talk to me. I heard from other people that he doesn't like me because I wouldn't stand up for him but I didn't know what happened.
Me: Did you find the casting a little odd?
Michael: Well, they looked nothing alike. He was just another big guy. It's funny, he had to lose weight because when he was flying his belly was hanging down. They told us the kids won't notice there's another Captain Marvel. But of course they did.
Me: Do you think of you stood up for Jackson they would've got rid of you too?
Michael: I don't know. I know I was in the business long enough since the late 60s, and knew if the studio wanted to do something or a production company it's done. As an actor there's no say so whatsoever. So Les and I didn't say a word because again we didn't know what happened. It was well into it when John was shooting the episode for or five days later we knew what happened. It's a strange business.
Me: Michael, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back again soon and I hope you'll be in the next Shazam! movie.
Michael: Thanks. My pleasure, Jason.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Michael Gray for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Thursday with the kids from Oh Wonder. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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