Hey, kids, good afternoon, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? On Friday A Man's Right to Know Act was introduced by Rep. Jessica Farrar of Texas. It was inspired by a pamphlet Texas doctors are required to give women seeking abortions. The bill would fine a man $100 each time he masturbates. It imposes a 24-hour waiting period for a colonoscopy or a vasectomy, and for purchasing Viagra. "What if men had to undergo the same intrusive procedures?" Farrar points out that Texas has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world. The bill was obviously introduced to make a point, and not actually pass, but some people were triggered. In response Rep. Tony Tinderholt issued a statement saying, "I'm embarrassed for Representative Farrar. Her attempt to compare to the abortion issue shows a lack of a basic understanding of human biology. I would recommend that she consider taking a high school biology class from a local public or charter school before filing another bill on the matter." Tinderholt introduced a bill that would charge abortion providers with murder. Now that the world has gone full Monty Python, you might as well watch the "Every Sperm is Sacred" scene from Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life. It would be funny if things weren't so crazy right now.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was attacked on Saturday during his visit to South Africa for the Arnold Classic Africa. The sporting event is described as a "multi-sport festival on six-continents each year. All events feature professional bodybuilding and related contests, amateur bodybuilding, strength and combat sports." The 71-year-old said he only realized he was kicked when he saw the video. He was in the country for the Arnold Classic Africa, a sporting event held in Johannesburg each May. I'm glad he's okay, and inspired by the "come and try" aspect of the event, which is described as a " programme for differently abled, children, parents, and pensioners who would like to partake in a specific sport or event they might be interested in." You go Arnold.
Women across the country are sharing their stories in response to the recent legislation in states of Georgia, Alabama, Ohio, and now the Missouri Senate banning abortion. Many of them are opening up in hopes of enlightening people about how common and necessary the procedure is. While others are sharing in hopes of making other women feel less alone, particularly those currently living in the states seeking to criminalize abortion. One woman, the Twitter user Brie, shared a personal story about an abusive ex-boyfriend who poked a whole in a condom in order to "trap her" in the relationship. During their second time having sex he poked a hole in the condom when she wasn't looking, when she bought a home pregnancy test and saw the results, he got excited and admitted it was on purpose. When Brie's friend took her to a women's clinic to confirm the pregnancy, they accidentally stumbled upon one of the many Christian centers posing as a women's health clinic. Rather than receiving comprehensive medical care, Brie was given a lecture about how abortion was murder, and would land her in hell. Since she was a minor, she was forced to go in front of a judge in order to receive rights to go through with an abortion. When she was granted rights to her own abortion, the procedure itself only took a few minutes, roughly five minutes to remove the embryo. However, the process of going to court and getting lectured at a "women's clinic" was much more traumatic. The manipulative boyfriend pulled a knife on her when she initiated a breakup, and proceeded to stalk her for a decade after she dumped him. The only thing that stopped him from staying on her trail was a full-on arrest from the police. She went on to share that she fully believes if she had given birth, he would have had more legal leeway to trap her in his life, and eventually she believes that would have led to him killing both her and the child. Brie revealed that this was the first time she's shared her story publicly, and while it's terrifying to open herself up like this, it's worth it if it makes one woman or girl feel less alone in their situation. Other people jumped onto the thread to commend Brie's openness and share similar stories of their own. A few people also gave shout outs to Brie's ride-or-die friend, who drove her to the appointments and remained a rock. Women should never feel like they have to air out their personal stories for the sake of humanizing a decision. But I do hope that as more women open up, more people listen, and others feel less alone.
Welcome to the United States of Amerikkka. In today's way-too-common segment of "white people being racist douchebags," two white students at Palos Verdes High School in Southern California are in hot water after a photo of them holding up a racist "promposal" sign went viral on social media and sparked a huge backlash, NBC reports. The students will face "severe consequences," according to NBC. It's good to see white people finally facing consequences for being racist... if only it were the Trump administration and Republicans in Congress and not a couple of idiot teens. But, hey, you gotta start somewhere! The photo, which went viral on Instagram and Twitter earlier this week, shows two teens laughing while holding up a sign which reads, "Bianca, you are racist but I would give anything for you to go with me to prom." Here it is...
Then, lest you had any shred of doubt that these teens are, in fact, racist: six letters in the sign are highlighted to spell out the n-word. Though it's not yet clear exactly what "consequences" these teens will face, let's hope it is, in fact, "severe" enough to actually teach them a lesson. The principal of Palos Verdes High School, Dr. Allan Tyner, published an open letter on the school's website, which reads, "Dear Parents and Community Members, Today I will be meeting with all students, class by class. We will review appropriate behavior and how the use of hurtful racial slurs like the one used on this recent picture posted on social media is unacceptable. I know that this one unfortunate event does not represent us as a school community. Racist words and racist acts have no place in our school community. We will rise above this, learn from this, and be a better school community because of it. Dr. Allan Tyner Principal Palos Verdes High School." Since the photo went viral and made the news, Twitter user and fellow student @Mayamardesich has been posting the responses from the school as well as the teens in the photo. First, the guy in the photo's little sister published an excuse/explanation in defense of her brother, who she claims "didn't know the N word." And the girl in the photo, according to @Mayamardesich, followed up with an apology-of-sorts, in which she also claims that the guy in the photo, who is rumored to be a foreign exchange student from Switzerland, "is not fluent in English" Excuse me while I role my eyes. If you don't already agree this is a load of bullshit, here's the (alleged) response from the guy in the photo...
I'm not one to support forced deportation (except Melania Trump), but this guy needs to GTFO. A freshman at Palos Verdes High School, 14-year-old Ava McCoy, told NBC News, "I find the sign highly offensive and extremely hurtful being a person of color. I think this behavior is intolerable and students need to be educated on the subject." Ava, I am with you 100%.
In most cases, new characters aren't introduced in the finale episode of a long-running show. There's really no time to give the proper exposition for a new character to make sense, and there's usually an array of other plot lines and relationships to tie up. However, the show runners for "Game of Thrones" went off-book with their finale episode by introducing a new character that functioned both autonomously and as a call-back to a recent episode: a plastic water bottle. In case you missed it, a few weeks back a Starbucks cup made an appearance in "Game of Thrones" episode, providing the fodder for countless memes and roast jokes about the show runners. And now, in the final episode, eagle-eyed viewers spotted a plastic water bottle in King's Landing. Could this, perhaps, be some sort of meta statement on consumerism?! Are these easter eggs meant as peek behind-the-curtain of producing an ensemble series?! Better yet, is there some sort of time-traveling element you've all been missing for the duration of the show? As these questions percolate the minds of fans now mourning the loss of their favorite show, the water bottle comments are flowing with more force than water itself.
So, instead of doing this blog I think I should be be listening to this album...
Maybe not. So, did you see last episode of "Game of Thrones" last night? I didn't but was surprised when I found out who won the "throne."
That's so stood. That's as stupid as...
Ever go to a museum and see a painting that looks like you? This woman did...
So, is your kid in school as "good" of an artist as the kid that drew this?
Hahaha. Oh. Boy. If you're thinking of cheating on your loved one you might wanna think twice after seeing this...
So he cheated on you... with his wife? Didn't know that was possible. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York here is...
Top Phive Comments From People Who Watched The "Game Of Thrones" Finale
5. The main theme of "Game of Thrones" finally became clear in the finale: the importance of breastfeeding to grow up big and strong.
4. "No one is very happy, which means it's a good compromise" is pretty much the main takeaway of this finale.
3. Only thing I’m happy about is Jon and Tormund being reunited...
2. Cersei and Jaime could have survived if they’d just moved a little to the right.
And the number one comment from a person who watched the "Game of Thrones" finale is...
1. Behind every king is a woman who dragged him around on a sled for three years never to be heard from again.
If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, so there's a friend of the Phile who never has any luck... mostly to his own fault. He hasn't been on here for a while so I thought I'd invite him back to see how he's been. Please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hey, Dindo, how have you been?
Dindo: Okay, I guess, Jason.
Me: Okay you guess? What is happening?
Dindo: I accidentally left an Asiatic Lily plant out in my apartment when I went to work. When I came home, I noticed my cat had chewed a bunch of leaves off of if, and possibly swallowed some. I immediately looked it up on-line and saw that lilies are extremely toxic to cats. They can cause kidney failure from ingesting only a small amount.
Me: Damn. So, what did you do?
Dindo: I had to rush him to a 24 hour emergency vet, where he had to be treated with high volumes of fluid via IV for 48 hours.
Me: So, how is your cat and what's his name?
Dindo: Floof. And my big Floof made it out alive and I couldn't have been happier he was okay, but the whole ordeal cost me close to $3,000.
Me: Shit, that's a lot. I hope you learned that if you have a cat, maybe you shouldn't adopt any plants.
Dindo: I did. I'm gonna go and make sure Floof is okay now. Byeeee.
Me: Bye. Dindo Nuffin, kids.
What's in a name? Hahahaha. There's this local teacher who is having a hard time this year she wants to quit. She wanted to come back on the Phile and tell us what happened recently. So, please welcome back to the Phile...
Me: Hello, Ms. Laststraw, what is going on? Why do you want to quit now? You have six days left of school.
Ms. Laststraw: Jason, I did quit. Today was my last day.
Me: What?! What happened?
Ms. Laststraw: A student handed in an article, which was supposed to go in a newspaper, that included no research and multiple emoticons. Emoticons.
Me: What? He never heard of Buzzfeed? Okay, go on.
Ms. Laststraw: So I gave the paper an F, and said come talk to me about this. I explained in short form why journalism exists, why it is important, and that his worst grade is dropped so this doesn’t have to hurt him. Hell, I would accept a redo. The student in question was an athlete and wanted to go to a big state school for throwing balls fast.
Me: Okay, so?
Ms. Laststraw: I got shit from the dean of students, my department chair, other professorial types. Why wouldn’t I let it go? Was I racist or hate sports or what? I just wanted him to try a little harder at the thing that was going to be his college major. I used to pick my words so meticulously because communication is so important. I held to my ethics, he got a tutor after a couple weeks, but it broke me.
Me: So, you quit because of this?
Ms. Laststraw: My mom had died less than a month ago and I had to explain my principal why “lol ;)” in the context of a journalistic article about a restaurant was unacceptable.
Me: I'm so confused...
Ms. Laststraw: Jason, this motherfucker threw balls fast and because of that I was supposed to pass him without question. Let’s go football, but between that and mom dying I could not go on. I figuratively died in that meeting.
Me: Ummm... sorry to hear about your mom. So, you really quit with only one more week to go?
Ms. Laststraw: Yep. This will be my last time being on the Phile. Thanks for listening, and have a good summer. Bye.
Me: This is sad. Bye, Ms. Laststraw. Ms. Laststraw, the teacher who wants to quit... and did apparently. I never found out her first name.
Herman Wouk
May 27th, 1915 — May 18th, 2019
They called him "The Jackie Robinson Of Jewish-American Fiction." I have no idea what that means but assume it is something awesome.
The 99th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...
Obviously Leonard Cohen can't be on the Phile as he passed away but his son Adam Cohen will be on the Phile in a few weeks. Now do you wanna laugh?
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said, "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said, "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said, "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
Today's guest is the lead singer and guitarist for the Dirty Nil, a Canadian alternative rock band who won the Juno Award for Breakthrough Group of the Year at the Juno Awards of 2017. Their new album "Master Volume" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Luke Bentham.
Me: Hello, Luke, welcome to the Phile. How are you?
Luke: I'm good. Thank you very much for having me.
Me: I was supposed to have you here on the Phile years ago and thought I did. Anyway, on your new album "Master Volume," on quite a few of your songs there's sound effects of car crashes. What's the deal with that?
Luke: I would say a lot of that is being informed by the fact that we were touring while the record was being basically written. We were developing the songs whole we were touring and on any given day we were in a vehicle for six to eight hours going across the interstate system of North America through the United States. Invariably we found ourselves in some sort of grid locked traffic situation and the reason for this always be some sort of vehicular pile up. We were just constantly exposed to those kinds of things. The inventible conclusion that we reach being a touring musician is that is a fate that could easily face us because of the amount of time we spend in a van.
Me: Do you ever do the "law of averages"? My dad, when he used to tour with Foghat did. He would figure out how long and how many days he'd be on the tour bus and say eventually that will catch up with him.
Luke: Exactly. Some of my rationalization or me facing that idea is just kinda laughing at it a little bit. We got to have a sense of humour about the things that are gonna kill us maybe.
Me: A hundred percent. Any close calls though, everything okay?
Luke: Generally speaking, yeah, there was a few wheel jerking moments but generally speaking we have been okay, Kyle, our drummer, does the majority of the driving. He's our "Skipper." our skip up front, so he's very good at that. He keeps us safe. I spend a lot of time programming our podcast that we listen to. So we all have our roles.
Me: Where are you guys from? I know Canada, but whereabouts?
Luke: Dundas, Ontario.
Me: So, in 2017 you were the Breakthrough Group of the Year at the Junos. What do you think of that honor?
Luke: I was generally surprised. I mean my favourite moment of the entire ceremony leading up to that announcement of course was when they were showing the other bands, just previewing sound samples of the other artists that were nominated in our category and they were very nice, and dare I say, very produced sounds, pleasant sounding drums and melodies, very manicured, then there was a crash of feedback and every one in the banquet hall shuttered a little bit. It was us and our picture that came out and I never felt more proud than that moment right there.
Me: What did your parents think of you winning the Juno?
Luke: They were never so proud as when we won the Juno.
Me: You must of been proud yourself, right?
Luke: Of course, of course. It was one of the first institutionalized recognitions of musical things in Canada I was aware of as a kid. I remember watching it with my parents so it definitely had a lot of weight in that category for me personally.
Me: What are your audiences like, Luke? Pop or punk people or both?
Luke: I think both definitely. And having some recognition, even some acknowledgement from a well respected institution like the Junos is always gonna be a very, very nice thing.
Me: Is that intentional at all do you think?
Luke: We've never been quite comfortable in terms to catering to one group of people at all. I think as soon as we find that we're being kind of shoe-horned ourselves in one place we do whatever we kinda alienate ourselves to that one sort of people and move on. I think at last for us, rock and rolls just about being able to have the ability to do whatever the hell we want. Be punk, or whatever, we just like having fun. If it rips, it rips.
Me: Do you do the songwriting in the band, Luke?
Luke: Well, all of us have a lot of input when it comes to arranging the songs. I think that the group of people that we have here, I feel comfortable bringing any kinda scrap of whatever and seeing what we could turn it into. Even things like "I Don't Want that Phone Call," when I first scratching away at it I didn't really have much of a mind to it for it even to be a Dirty Nil song because how kinda delicate it was in terms if the melody and some of the subject matter. I showed it to Ross and he encouraged me and we kinda worked on it and we came up with something that made everybody excited. Then we moved forward, that's kinda the story of all of these songs on this record. Some of the harder things we knew this was gonna be great, it'll fit in well, but some of the things we took more chances on but it never felt like a risk because what we were doing just felt so fun and natural. We had no dogma of we can't do this, we can't do that, it was let's just make some really good songs.
Me: So, what's this I read that you opened up for the Who?
Luke: Yes! We did open up for the Who.
Me: So, how was it?
Luke: It was the greatest thing of all time. I mean I said it before but there are certain accomplishments and things that we can look back at our career and we can always externalize with all the kinda negative things going on and kinda colours it was great. That particular event has none of that negativity at all attached to it. It was just pure gravy, back in time high fives to our 16-year-old selves who grew up on the Who, who'd stay at home watching videos of the Who on the early YouTube, and decided to form a band after watching those kinda things. That was a kinda thing I never conceived being a possibility.
Me: Did you meet them at all? Did you get to say hello?
Luke: I met Roger and Pete, yeah.
Me: How were they? I'm asking because one of them is gonna be a guest on the Phile soon and I am nervous. Haha.
Luke: I was a little bit disappointed that Pete Townshend wasn't a little bit meaner to me. I was kinda disappointed that he was such a nice guy. In Hamilton when they played he told that kid to fuck off. He told a little kid who held up a sign to fuck off and something about that... I think it's kinda the Replacements fan in me that enjoyed these kinda controversial moments. I was a little disappointed like I said he was kind to me. I wanted a Pete Townshend told me to fuck off story.
Me: Okay, so, you used the word "delicate" when you described the song "I Don't Want that Phone Call." What did you mean and that's the story behind the song?
Luke: Um, I would say that at this kinda point in our career at this stage in our lives in our late twenties we've had some friends who have maybe have not made it as far as we have and there has been some casualties along the way since high school. With this song it's hard kinda looking back on it because it is so on the sleeve and lacking in subtlety... it is quite personal to be honest with you. For obvious reasons I'll obscure identities but I'd like to, even though it definitely comes from a more personal place in terms of the inspiration for it my hope for it could be used for anybody needs a helping hand or anybody who is looking for a push in a positive direction.
Me: How do you guys do it and don't let the same problems happen over and over again?
Luke: Well, I think it's that we are all very focused on this job that we are so lucky to have. We understand how lucky we are. I think at this point bands that are our age that are in their late twenties most of them have made it through some kinda self devolvement of self discipline and sort of constitution. It just isn't fun if we're hungover and doing it every day. Make people do those tours then they first start out. We started touring when we were about 20-years-old. So we've had a lot of time to develop a lifestyle around our lifestyle. I think we're fortunate in that respect. Also we love what we do and are protective of what we do so we are very focused on keeping things on the level. That being said we have our nights where we enjoy what we worked for and enjoy the things afforded to us. We want to be able to give the children the goods because that's what the kids are paying for and we're gonna kick out the jams.
Me: You want to make it til you're playing in Hamilton and telling a kid who is holding up a sign to fuck off, right? Hahahaha.
Luke: Yeah, exactly, that's what we're hoping for! That's the dream.
Me: Haha. Luke, thanks so much for being on the Phile. Please come back soon, you guys rock.
Luke: Thanks, Jason. You too.
That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Luke Bentham for a great interview. The Phile will be back tomorrow with legendary bass player Stanley Clarke. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.
I don't want you, cook my bread, I don't want you, make my bed, I don't want your money too, I just want to make love to you. - Willie Dixon
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