Monday, August 9, 2021

Pheaturing Maurice LaMarche

 

Hi, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Making sexist jokes generally isn't the best opener when you're trying to go on a date with a woman, but if Internet screenshots are any indicator, it seems to be a common tactic by men across the world. One of the most common forms of sexism is equating attractiveness to a lack of intelligence, which feeds into the narrative that women can only be one thing at a time, beautiful or smart, funny or kind, successful or nurturing, all of which flattens the nuance of a fully-formed person. Plus, these ideals are ultimately rooted in objectification and the idea that a woman's attractiveness makes her a sex object, and a woman's "lack" of attractiveness removes her value in the social marketplace altogether. All this is to say, when men make jokes about women not looking like they work certain jobs or have certain interests, it hearkens to a long history of stereotypes rooted in sexism. Regardless of whether the man in question thought deeply before making his joke or assumption. So when the NASA scientist Lauren McKeown got a message on a dating app joking that she was a receptionist (as if there's anything wrong with being a receptionist), she as quick to shut it down and share receipts on Twitter. In the chat, a guy named Mikey noted that Lauren works at NASA and proceeded to ask if she was the receptionist before writing, "JK you look reasonably smart." She proceeded to school him. She wrote, "Smart enough to know at least that judging a woman's intelligence based on her appearance might not be the best way to initiate conversation. P.S. My mother is a primary school receptionist and is the wisest and most inspirational and kindest person I know. So much so in fact my PhD thesis planetary science is dedicated to her." The exchange quickly went viral, with lots of people voicing criticism towards Mikey and expressing solidarity over the struggles of online dating. Other female scientists also chimed in with similar stories of negging, and several people pointed out that this exchange is why the man is single. Hopefully, at least one man who thinks this is a good way to joke caught wind of this thread and was able to learn something. 

A belligerent passenger got so out-of-control on a flight from Philadelphia to Miami, that the crew ended up duct taping the man to his seat. Twenty-two-year-old Maxwell Berry was arrested on three counts of battery, including allegedly groping the breasts of two female flight attendants. A cell phone video from the plane shows Berry screaming "my parents are worth goddamn 2 million fucking dollars" as his fellow passengers couldn't help but laugh. The laughing stopped when Berry launched himself at a male flight attendant and attempted to punch him in the face. Snickers resumed when the flight attendant proceeded to duct tape Berry down. ABC reports that the flight crew has been "suspended pending further investigation." The video shared by ABC's Sam Sweeney went viral, with over 2.5 million views. People defended the crew's use of duct tape justice and tweeted directly at Frontier Airlines to give them a raise. People also dunked on Berry for yelling about being being a son of millionaires while flying Frontier... in coach. Hope they do have $2 million... they're going to be spending a lot on lawyer fees. 

Tucker Carlson, the Fox News propagandist who urged his viewers to harass strangers wearing masks and call the cops on kids wearing face coverings, was approached in a Montana fishing store by a man who condemns his racism and anti-vaxx-ism. Dan Bailey, a local fly fishing guide in Livingston, Montana, didn't throw away his shot to tell Carlson what he thinks of him when the two were at the same fishing gear store. "Dude, you are the worst human being known to mankind," Bailey said. Carlson pointed out that he was with his adult child and Bailey responded, "I don't care, man." He went on to say, "What you have done to this state, to the United States, to everyone else in this world. What you have done to families, what you have done to everybody else in this world. I don’t care that your daughter is here. What you’ve done to people’s families…" Carlson told him to "settle down, son." Bailey responded, "Son? Don't call me son." Conservative pundits were absolutely aghast at Bailey's behavior, because telling people they're awful is their job. Bailey got pretty close to Carlson's face... good thing Carlson is secretly vaccinated.

So, did you hear about the guy with coronavirus who disguised himself as his wife to get onto a flight? Yup, it's exactly what it sounds like. A guy who tested positive for the coronavirus, and therefore banned from flying, wore a niqab to cover his face, carried fake IDs, and her negative PCR test to board a domestic flight in Indonesia. The Associate Press reports that the guy got busted when a flight attendant noticed him changing his clothes in the airplane bathroom, like an aeronautic Mrs. Doubtfire. "He bought the plane ticket with his wife’s name and brought the identity card, the PCR test result and the vaccination card with his wife’s name. All documents are under his wife’s name," Ternate police chief Aditya Laksimada said after arresting the guy when the plane landed. He was immediately tested, and tested positive for the virus. And he would have gotten away with it too if he just committed to the bit the whole flight!  

There is little doubt that the Guardians of the Galaxy films have given us some of the best laughs and thrills in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, these movies have also given us some of the most painful heartbreaks. Unfortunately, those heartaches are coming again in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. James Gunn has somehow confirmed that fans should be ready for another major death in the sequel. It's no secret that each Guardians film has led to the death of at least one major character. In the first movie, adult Groot sacrificed himself to protect his companions but a part of him was saved and became Baby Groot. The death in Vol. 2 was more final as Yondu Udonta sacrificed himself to make sure Peter Quill survived. So should we fear the same thing happening in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3? Gunn has compared the deaths in The Suicide Squad and the Guardians movie, stating that there is "a much bigger sense of danger for all of our characters" in the former. However, that doesn't mean everybody is safe in the more family-friendly MCU franchise. "We know most of them are going to make it out alive. At least for two movies," Gunn told "Entertainment Tonight." When asked if this means something bad will happen in Vol. 3, he simply responded "You'll have to wait and see." It's an ominous tease considering that there have been speculations that at least two characters are not making it out alive in the third Guardians film. Some theorized that Rocket Raccoon is the one member of the Guardians who could bite the dust. Additionally, Gunn had already confirmed that Vol. 3 will be the last Guardians movie for Dave Bautista so it sounds like Drax doesn't have a bright future.

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Actually, I like Rolf Harris and would get that album. Hahaha. If I had a TARDIS I would go see JFK's coffin in the Capitol. 

Those people guarding him are honor guards. They’re actually supposed to be facing out, to protect the body of the president, but Jackie thought that JFK looked lonely and had the honor stand facing him. Sometimes when I'm bored I go on Twitter and look up certain words and one of those words is "Foghat." Here's a tweet I saw recently...


What GIF? There was no GIF. Oh, well... Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like these nail clippers for example...

I had no idea that clipping your nails wasn’t manly enough. You heard of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, right? But have you heard of Dwayne "The Flock" Johnson? No? Look...

Ever watch that "Antiques Roadshow" series? You never know what they are gonna have on it.

Hahahaha. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?


More landscaping work. Look at that sky as well. Dang. 



If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. 


The 155th and last book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...


David will be on the Phile on Wednesday. 

Today's guest is a Canadian–American voice actor, comedian and impressionist. He has voiced Egon Spengler in "The Real Ghostbusters" and its follow-up "Extreme Ghostbusters," the Brain in "Animaniacs" as well as its spin-off "Pinky and the Brain," Big Bob in "Hey Arnold!" and a variety of characters in "Futurama." Please welcome to the Phile... Maurice LaMarche.

Me: Hey, Maurice, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Maurice: Hey, Jason, finally you have me on your blog. How am I? I'm tired of wearing a mask. 

Me: Hahaha. Aren't we all? You do some great impressions, sir. Do you remember the first one you ever did? 

Maurice: Well, okay, there first impression that I eeeevvveeerrr did, ever, ever, ever, when I was a little kid there was a WC Fields impressionist on a commercial and it was for a soft drink called Sego, one of the first diet soft drinks in the 1960s. And I was 10-years-old and I would walk around quoting that commercial. 

Me: Sego... Alfred Hitchcock discovered Tippi Hedren who was on the Phile before on a Sego commercial. What other ones did you do? 

Maurice: The first impression that I ever got "accolades" for was for the buzzard, the kind of slow buzzard in the Bugs Bunny cartoons. I would walk to school flapping my arms very slowly like that buzzed. My teachers wanted to send to the school shrink. They said, "Why did you do that?" They said, "He just wants attention." Standard issue narcissism. 

Me: About how many impressions did you do as a kid? 

Maurice: When I was in 8th grade I sat down and said I want to count all the voices I do, it was just me and a couple of my pals, and I had 30 voices. I couldn't believe it, I had 30 impressions that I did. 

Me: Did you do their mannerisms as well? 

Maurice: Yeah, it definitely helps. I didn't know if that would be an asset or a drawback when I got into animation. 

Me: Have you ever ran into a celebrity that you impersonated and they recognized you? 

Maurice: Well, when I was doing "Inspector Gadget" with Don Adams as we went along I finally comfortable to say he was one of my first impressions, I loved "Get Smart" when I was a kid. he said, "Okay, do me." And I did. 

Me: And did he like it? 

Maurice: Yeah, he did. 

Me: So, what was Don Adams like to work with? 

Maurice: Don would tell stories. I thought voice over was we record two pages of dialogue then take a little break and Don Adams told a ten minute story of our favorite episodes of "Get Smart." Then we'd record another two pages of dialogue and Don told us another story about Don Rickles. He was great. We didn't have Blu-rays and DVDs, this was like that, this was like Don doing the special features. He answered every question I had about "Get Smart." 

Me: That's cool. Okay, you worked with Arsenio Hall on "The Real Ghostbusters." What was that like? For some reason I'm hoping to interview him on the Phile. 

Maurice: One point Arsenio just looked at me, I knew him from stand-up, he just looked at me and mouthed the words, "What the fuck am I doing here?" I just shrugged and said, "I don't know." My thinking was probably Ernie picked up another movie or something like that. 

Me: When you auditioned for that show did you have to do a Harold Ramis impersonation? 

Maurice: No. In fact we were told at front don't do an impression. 

Me: Really? Why was that? 

Maurice: Because the time line of the show it turned out and we did an episode of the show based on this, the idea was the movie was based on these guys. In other words, we are going to show the "real" Ghostbusters, there ones that they made the movie about. So they looked different. Ernie Hudson was there to read for Winston, which I thought was sort of bizarre. 

Me: Why was that? 

Maurice: Because there were only two black guys there. Ernie and Arsenio Hall. 

Me: What was it like doing that show? 

Maurice: I froze when I got into the booth. I look at the model sheet and I could hear the voice talking but nothing was coming back to me but Harold Ramis. So I read it as Harold, I did try one "pondextery" voice but I read it as Harold and when I got the call back they said, "Nobody is allowed to do impressions except for you." 

Me: Okay, I have to talk about "Pinky and the Brain" and "Animaniacs." Why do you think those shows are still so loved and people wanted them to come back? 

Maurice: Steven Spielberg at the helm, he recognized what was great about the old war time Warner Bros. cartoons and the 50s forward, he said he wanted those shows to be for the kids and their parents to watch and there's something in it for both of them. With Pinky and the Brain the idea was that the kids would love Pinky and his goofy silliness and the adults would love Brain with his snide remarks and the kids would laugh when he got bonked on the heard with a pencil and the adults would laugh what he said before he bops Pinky on the head with the giant pencil. 

Me: Are you excited that the shows are back? Are you surprised? 

Maurice: We hoped the shows would come back, now here it is with the people who watched "Pinky and the Brain" now have kids of their own they are getting back into it. 

Me: One of my favorite jokes on the old show is the "finger Prince" joke. 

Maurice: Yes. I still marvel to this day how the censors let that go. 

Me: Hahaha. So, how did you come up with the voice of Brain? 

Maurice: He was based on Tom Minton, not on Orson Wells that people think. Tom Minton and Eddie Fitzgerald were two writers that hung out together. Here's them...


Maurice: They were at Hanna-Barbera together then later on at Warner Bros. they were brought on to do this "Animaniacs" thing and they were just sort of this odd couple. Tom is very low key and very bright and spoke in a very quick and flat monotone and Eddie was very energetic and not at all English but Eddie when he pitched a show would throw in sound effects. They decided to give that to Pinky, those explanation points. I looked at Brain and saw that scowl and went they drew Orson Wells here. They knew I loved to do the Orson Wells frozen peas outtake tape whenever there's a soundcheck. People would say a few lines as their characters and whenever it landed on me I would do Orson Wells from that tape. They say, "Okay, now do it in your character" and I'll do it in whatever character I was doing. They finally got it that I do a great Orson Wells and they created this character for me. So I just did this thing as Orson Wells. They cast me on the spot. I did the first audition on the day and I grabbed the Brain and Squid the Pigeon. I read for everything else, I read for Wakko and Yakko. 

Me: So, how would you take over the world? Hahaha. 

Maurice: I don't know if you know but that Trump robot was totally under my control. I tried with that. 

Me: Haha. Thanks so much for being on the Phile, sir. 

Maurice: It's been a pleasure, thank you very much.




That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Maurice LaMarche for a great interview. The Phile will be back on Wednesday with David Foster. Spread the word, not there turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. 

















Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...

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