Pheaturing Carlos Alazraqui

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made waves when they split from the royal family last year and moved to Los Angeles, California. Following that decision, a bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey cast the Buckingham Palace crew as cruel... and possibly racist against Markle. And just a month later, Prince Philip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth II, died at the age of 99. Suffice to say, it’s been a tumultuous year for the entire family. But now, a bit of happy news: the famous couple has welcomed their second child into the world: a baby girl named Lilibet “Lili” Diana Mountbatten-Windsor. Prince Charles and Princess Diana had two children before Diana’s untimely death in 1997: Prince William and Prince Harry. Throughout their life in the spotlight, the big brother-little brother duo seemed quite close. So it came as a shock to the world when their relationship seemed to fracture quite dramatically, following their marriages to Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, respectively. Harry wed Markle, an American actress, in 2018. They had their first child together, son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, a year later. Then in January 2020 following rumors of inner-family feuds, the couple officially stepped down as senior members of the royal family. They moved from Britain to Los Angeles where they founded the non-profit media company Archewell Inc. Through that venture, the duke and the duchess have launched a podcast and, most recently, a TV show: "The Me You Can’t See," a mental health docuseries co-hosted by their collaborator and friend Oprah Winfrey. And now, Markle has given have their baby girl named Lilibet “Lili” Diana Mountbatten-Windsor. The new baby was born at California’s Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital on the morning of June 4th, 2021. A statement released by the couple provided some details, “It is with great joy that Prince Harry and Meghan, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, welcome their daughter, Lilibet ‘Lili’ Diana Mountbatten-Windsor, to the world. Lili was born on Friday, June 4th at 11:40 a.m. in the trusted care of the doctors and staff at Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, CA. She weighed 7 lbs 11 oz. Both mother and child are healthy and well, and settling in at home.” Additionally, the statement provided some interesting background on that unusual name.”Lili is named after her great-grandmother, Her Majesty The Queen, whose family nickname is Lilibet, it explained. “Her middle name, Diana, was chosen to honor her beloved late grandmother, The Princess of Wales.” Back at Buckingham Palace, a spokesperson gave an official response to the birth of the new royal daughter Lilibet Diana: “The Queen, The Prince of Wales and The Duchess of Cornwall, and The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been informed and are delighted with the news of the birth of a daughter for The Duke and Duchess of Sussex.” If her special named is any indication, perhaps this little girl will bridge the broken family back together. As the Queen’s 11th great-grandchild, baby Lilibet is eighth in line to the British throne.  

In what appears to be an unprovoked, inexplicable act of cruelty, a teenage boy was caught on camera setting a woman’s hair on fire while riding a bus in San Francisco. The video and police report was released by the San Francisco police department this Wednesday, though the incident allegedly occurred on Sunday, May 2nd. In onboard security camera footage from the #5 Fullerton Street bus, a teenage male dressed in red is seen sitting down behind a forward-facing female passenger. For no apparent reason, the teen then proceeds to hold a lighter to the woman’s hair for several seconds before it catches on fire. After setting the victim’s hair on fire, the perpetrator and two acquaintances exited the bus as other passengers scrambled to help the woman. After the fire was put out, the victim left the bus before officers from the Tenderloin Police Station arrived on the scene. SFPD officers are asking the victim... who has been described as a Hispanic or Filipino woman between the ages of 50 and 60 years with dark hair and eyeglasses... to come forward to provide a statement. The SFPD is also asking anyone with information about the victim, suspect, or the incident to contact the local law enforcement department. The SFPD Special Investigations Detail is investigating the incident as a possible hate crime, according to CBS SF BayArea. “When I seen it on my phone, I was just, like, why is there so much people targeting women, and Asian women,” Aushanae Crayton, a Muni rider and San Francisco resident, told the local CBS news outlet. “So I was just, like, why would somebody do that to her?” Amanda Cheng, another local, also spoke with CBS, noting, “You just don’t feel safe in San Francisco as a pedestrian, as somebody who lives here. This just can’t be happening, day in and day out, my parents are worried and I carry pepper spray.” The incident occurred amid a surge in Asian-directed hate crimes in San Francisco and around the country. The spike in Asian hate crimes may be driven by racism tied to the COVID-19 pandemic, research shows. 2020 studies found that hostile views of Asians reached all-time highs in 2020, in part because of the unfounded idea that China was behind the spread of the virus.

After the Capitol riots on January 6th, many politicians, both Republican and Democratic, spoke out on whether or not former President Donald Trump should be held responsible for inciting the insurrection. However, after President Joe Biden beat Trump out of his re-run, former Vice President Mike Pence has finally spoken his piece about how he feels about what happened that day in opposition to his former running mate. He said, “You know, President Trump and I have spoken many times since we left office, and I don’t know if we’ll ever see eye to eye about that day. But I will always be proud of what we accomplished for the American people over the last four years.” Pence was speaking to a group of conservatives at the Hillsborough County Republican Committee in New Hampshire, and after glossing over how he felt about the storming of the U.S. Capitol, his speech received a standing ovation of at least 360 attendees, according to the Sun. Although he admitted where he and Trump seemingly disagreed, he continued on about how Republicans should not allow Democrats to use what happened on what he calls a “dark day in the history of the United States Capitol,” to “distract our attention from a new administration intent on further dividing our country.” According to CNN, Trump has actually blamed his former running partner for not overturning the election results, as he was accusing the Democratic party of voter fraud, saying that President Biden had actually stolen the election. However, his claims were not overshadowed by those who hold him responsible for causing the protest at the Capitol by his supporters. And while there is a video of Pence fleeing the chaos that happened that day, the pro-Trump protestors can be heard eerily yelling, “Hang Mike Pence,” and “Bring out Pence. 

Unidentified Flying Objects or UFOs (also known as unidentified aerial phenomena or UAPs) have long been the subject of sci-fi novels, movies, and TV shows. Now, UFOs are the subject of a much-anticipated, recently released government report. The intelligence report’s findings were revealed on Thursday by The New York Times. The publication summarizes the report’s contents in its succinct headline: “U.S. Finds No Evidence of Alien Technology in Flying Objects, but Can’t Rule It Out, Either”. As the Times explains, government intelligence agents have found no evidence that the UFO sightings made by U.S. Navy pilots over recent years were alien spacecraft. However... and here’s the kicker... government officials can’t find any explanation for the unidentified aerial phenomena, either. According to the report, there have been more than 120 sightings by Navy officers over the last two decades. The report confirms that these sightings “did not originate from any American military or other advanced U.S. government technology," and unable even to be explained by programs the government intended to keep secret. Intelligence officials believe that some of the aerial objects could’ve come from rival countries like Russia or China. If the objects are discovered to be Russian technology, it would suggest that the country’s research in hypersonic technology had “far outpaced” U.S. military development, national security officials say. An unclassified version of this classified intelligence report is expected to be released to Congress by the Defense Department and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence in June. The unclassified report will still contain a classified annex, though officials have confirmed to the Times that the annex does not include evidence linking the aerial sightings to aliens, either. The report has earned international attention from both the general public and lawmakers. “What is true, and I’m actually being serious here, is that there are... there’s footage and records of objects in the skies, that we don’t know exactly what they are,” former President Barack Obama said last month, commenting on the news of the upcoming report. The U.S. Department of Defense has been gathering UFO reports for more than a decade as part of the covert Unidentified Aerial Phenomena Task Force and its predecessor the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program within the Pentagon. The task forces were formed to investigate radar reports, videos, and witness testimonies in order to identify potential threats to national security and give the U.S. military a clearer idea of what might be out there.” 

Located in the sprawling, leafy Elmhurst Park, the Queens Vietnam Veterans Memorial was erected in 2019 to honor the fallen soldiers of the Vietnam War. And on the heels of Memorial Day, the Vietnam War monument was vandalized with swastikas, profane graffiti, and the term “baby killers.” The vandalism was reported to the New York Police Department via a 911 call around 1 a.m. on Wednesday, reports the New York Post. When NYPD officers arrived on the scene, they discovered a troubling sight: the semi-circular granite memorial was covered in hateful and anti-Semitic graffiti. Written in red on the granite walls were the phrases “fallen solvs” and “baby killers”, as well as the Nazi symbol. Scrawled in white on the stone floor were the phrases “god sucks dick” and “baby killers." Another swastika was written on the floor in red. On a boulder, there was another swastika and the number “110” written in red. New York City Councilman Robert Holden shared the images on social media, vowing to find the vandals of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. “I am deeply disgusted by this cowardly act of vandalism at the Queens Vietnam Veterans Memorial,” he tweeted. “I am working… to make sure the perpetrator is brought to justice,” added the democrat. “I offer a $1,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the sick soul who did it.” New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo released a statement Wednesday evening regarding the incident. “Inscribed on the wall of the Queens Vietnam Veterans Memorial are 371 names... 371 proud children of Queens who gave their lives in service of freedom and democracy half a century ago,” Cuomo said. “These names are an eternal monument to the ideals that unite us as New Yorkers and as Americans, values that are worth fighting and dying for. That’s why the Memorial’s desecration with graffiti and hateful symbols, coming just two days after Memorial Day, isn’t just offensive to the memories of these soldiers and to their loved ones... it’s antithetical to the moral fiber of our state and our country, and it’s an insult to all those who stepped up in service of it.” The investigation into the potential hate crime is ongoing, the NYPD has told Fox News. News of a recent arrest has been made, though police have not yet responded to requests for comment. On an interview with WABC Radio’s “Rita Cosby Show,” Holden said the suspect is an Elmhurst man that police officers had been monitoring because of familiar elements in his graffiti. According to Holden, the alleged perpetrator also vandalized Hoffmann Park at the corner of Queens and Woodhaven boulevards. According to the NYC Parks Department, the Queens Vietnam Veterans Memorial was designed by architects Denise Mattes and Frank Varro. The memorial consists of two semi-circular granite walls inscribed with nearly 400 names of Queens service members who died in the Vietnam war or are classified as missing in action. The memorial sits on the northwest corner of Elmhurst Park, near the intersection of Grand Avenue and 79th Street. It is the first Vietnam Memorial to be opened in Queens, where more than 59,000 vets call home... more than The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, or Staten Island.

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Maybe not. If I had a TARDIS I would go to the Titanic but no one would be there for some reason. 

Ever watch "The Antique Roadshow"? You never know what is gonna be on that show. 

Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities.

Pointlessly gendered and homophobic at the same time. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

Looks a nice day! 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. 

The 152nd book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

Jake will be on the Phile in a few weeks. 

Phact 1. Some castle in Japan has floors designed to make a chirping sound when walked upon, assuring that none could sneak through the corridors undetected. 

Phact 2. U.S. and Russian Military use depleted uranium bullets that can pierce vehicle armor. Once the bullet pierces the armor, it gets sharper and automatically catches on fire, igniting fuel and causing the vehicle to explode. 

Phact 3. When the Arctic Monkeys started their band, none of them knew how to play instruments. 

Phact 4. The Union Flag originates from the union of the crowns, not the union of the countries, so if Scotland leaves the United Kingdom, the Union Flag does not have to change. 

Phact 5. Sean Conway, the first man to cycle, swim and run the length of Great Britain grew a beard in order to prevent jellyfish from stinging his face.

Today's guest is is an American actor, stand-up comedian, impressionist, producer and screenwriter, possibly best known for his role as Deputy James Garcia on "Reno 911!." His extensive voice-over work includes the role of Spyro from "Spyro the Dragon," Leslie P. Lilylegs on "New Looney Tunes," the Taco Bell chihuahua in the Taco Bell commercials, Denzel Crocker and Juandissimo Magnifico on "The Fairly OddParents,"and Rocko and Spunky on "Rocko's Modern Life." Please welcome to the Phile my friend... Carlos Alazraqui.

Me: Hello, Carlos, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Carlos: I'm good. 

Me: So, you are in "Reno 911," which I've never seen but I heard it was funny. What's it like doing a show there? 

Carlos: We didn't film there, just second unit stuff. 

Me: Ahhh. Did you ever hear back from the police department in Reno on how they liked the show? 

Carlos: We landed in Reno for a MySpace competition, that's how long ago it was, it was meet the cast of "Reno" and we got off the gate and there was eight officers with their arms folded. We got nervous and they were like "hahahaha, we are just pulling your leg. We love the show. Let's take pictures." That was my first experience there. 

Me: As a kid were you into cartoons and animated features? 

Carlos: I was a lock-key child or whatever, that's what I did, I came home from school and watched cartoons. I don't think I was into the voice over passionately or cartoons and animation. I love doing it but watching cartoons, I'm okay with it. I don't watch a lot of stuff, even stuff I do. I can;'t get to it, I've got a kid, I like watching dramas, I watch "Dateline," I watch documentary stuff. But I'm proud of Rocko, that's quality stuff, that's the first one I really liked. I wouldn't say I'm a cartoon or an animation aficionado where I know all the shows and I'm a part of it. It's what I do. Because of social media I'm learning about things that I'm a part of but as a kid I watched cartoons and I loved them. I didn't know that people did that. 

Me: What is a cartoon you really loved? 

Carlos: I used to love the Pink Panther. I just loved all that stuff not knowing I was an animation geek. I wouldn't call myself a ComicCon level geek but yeah, I loved cartoons. 

Me: Did you impersonate people as a kid? 

Carlos: Yeah, I did. I would imitate my mom with a Spanish accent and imitate Herman Munster. I was always imitating school teachers, gym teachers, just to be a cut up, just to get attention. I could imitate people, that would get attention. 

Me: How did you land the role of Rocko? 

Carlos: I was in San Francisco, I didn't have an agent, my manager knew a guy who was producing this project about a character named Rocko, Rohr auditions were at George Maestri's house in San Francisco, I made a tape in my kitchen in Sacramento and I was on the road doing comedy. I had just got there and did Gene Wilder, I didn't know what the voice would be as a character. They said that was a funny voice, hang around, they didn't want to go Australian but try this. Then they sent it off to New York and they liked it and made a pilot. I was in Seattle and they called me telling me Rocko was going to a series. 

Me: I am wearing a Rocko cartoon, but only saw a few episodes. It was popular, right? 

Carlos: Yeah, it's becoming more popular with new followers. 

Me: What was it like going into the studio for the first time to record for the show? 

Carlos: I walk into the booth and see this guy sitting down and these pages flying off the music stand and it was Charles Adler and I thought this guy was amazing and I'm way over my head. 

Me: Tom Kenny, who I have interviewed twice, and who got my dad's song "Slow Ride" into the latest SpongeBob movie was on the show as well, right? I believe when I interviewed him we talked about Rocko. 

Carlos: It was sort of Tom's biggest first gig. I recommended him, because they were looking for a voice for Heffer and I said there's a guy named Tom Kenny I think they should see. Tom and I were new at it but Tom was gifted pretty quickly. I felt comfortable but maybe after the first season I felt a little more comfortable. Rocko was such a strange character, that kinda worked. I was perfect for him. 

Me: How long did you know Tom before doing Rocko? 

Carlos: Doing stand-up comedy kind of loosely in passing. I've known him I think since 1987. And Rocko was '91. We did the pilot and then when we we're going to series that was in '92 and '93.

Me: I was told to ask you about you and Robin Williams. What is that story? 

Carlos: I was at a comedy club and I think I was watching Jim Carrey, we were performing together and Robin came by and said, "Hey, man, you're Rocko." I met him one time before hand. He said his daughter loved the show and I said, "Thank you so much. I don't know what to say." That was kind of cool. He also knew Tom pretty well because Tom did a show with Bobcat and Bobcat and Robin were really good friends. 

Me: When he said that to you what did you think? 

Carlos: It was really flattering. Something I do makes someone really famous happy is pretty cool. 

Me: I wish I could've interviewed him. What is one of your favorite memories of Robin? 

Carlos: I think talking politics when we were at Lucas' ranch and we were just talking, two people, concerned where the country was going and then his driver gave me a ride home. We went home and just talked politics the whole way in the car. 

Me: Cool. So, you also did the chihuahua in the Taco Bell commercials. I had a t-shirt with that dog on it before. How did you get that role? 

Carlos: I just auditioned. I get in there and say "yo quiero Taco Bell" with a deep Mexican accent and they said everyone is doing that, can I do it with my own voice. So I did. They said try a little deeper. They were like all right, thanks, and I was like that was a waste of fucking time. Then we made a demo and they really liked the demo and it just took off. 

Me: I read that people were protesting that you were the voice of the dog, is that true? 

Carlos: Yeah, it was pre-9/11 so people needed a scapegoat for something. It was kind of silly because it was a dog and the voice was not stereotypical, it was play against type. It was female dog named Gidget who was supposed to be a male. People got mad and made it a cause then there were other Latinos who were like ignore them, it's silly, don't worry about it. Then I'm on "Hollywood Squares" sitting below Whoopi Goldberg and I was this dog. It was all so surreal to me. 

Me: You played Bane in a Batman cartoon, or a few of them, right? 

Carlos: Yeah, that was another thing where I was asked to come in and do a character and I was like okay. I was like who's Bane? I had no idea. I'm a jock. I didn't know I was getting involved with this iconic character. 

Me: Carlos, thanks for being on my blog. This was cool. 

Carlos: Thanks, Jason. Rocko lives!

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Carlos for a fun interview. The Phile will be back on Saturday with Christine and the Queens. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...