Pheaturing Beverly Glenn-Copeland

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Friday. How are you? President Joe Biden delivered a speech to congress on Wednesday night to look back on his first 100 days in office. And as always, Twitter had a lot to say. The speech certainly contained less fire-and-brimstone drama than the past four years of presidential addresses did, but it did stretch to an hour and four minutes... pretty long for a speech of its kind. Biden told congress and the American public that the government's job is to "prove democracy still works." He covered everything from vaccination progress to tax plans. President Biden definitely didn’t think this one through. While addressing to Congress on Wednesday evening Joe Biden referred to the January 6th incident at the U.S. Capitol as the “worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War.” The heated comment was part of a prepared remark released by the White House from President Biden’s speech to a Joint Session of Congress. Biden stated, “100 days since I took the oath of office, lifted my hand off our family Bible, and inherited a nation in crisis. The worst pandemic in a century. The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. The worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War.” As expected, the comments generated an immediate backlash from social media users, pointing out several national tragedies that have taken place since the Civil War including 9/11, the Boston Marathon bombing, and the multiple school shootings. 

Throughout the Trump presidency, the women of Congress wore white on political occasions to symbolize unity and call back to the Suffragette movement; save for 2018, when the color was black in honor of #MeToo and the Time’s Up campaign. But now, after 100 days of Joe Biden in office, color speckled the Capitol building during his first joint session of Congress: hues of Democratic blue, seasonal fuchsia, and floral face masks could be spotted clearly throughout the small, socially distant crowd. Though it was First Lady Jill Biden who really stole the show. From the moment Dr. Jill Biden stepped out on inauguration day in that icy blue get-up by Markarian, it was clear she’d use her new platform to exhibit some seriously show-stopping looks. Who could forget, just this month, when she shocked the world by deplaning Air Force One in black fishnets and booties? Throughout her brief time as the First Lady, Biden has flaunted mainly American designers and Wednesday night, for her husband’s joint address, was no different. The 69-year-old Biden wore a dress created by the Uruguayan immigrant designer Gabriela Hearst. The navy sheath dress was overlaid with a hand-embroidered mesh top featuring the official flowers from all 50 states, in addition to the District of Columbia and all U.S. territories. Going into detail on her website, Hearst explained that a flower from her home state of Delaware, a peach blossom, was positioned above Biden’s heart with the other 55 blooms branching out from there. And if this look seems familiar, you’re not wrong. Biden wore a white version on inauguration night when she stepped out to view celebratory fireworks from the White House. Hearst’s designs are also well-known for their sustainability; in this case, Hearst explained the recycled journey of the dress’s materials on her Instagram: “The Silk Wool dress (and mask)was made entirely of existing fabrics. Made and embroidered in New York. It was originally used to fit the inauguration one. The First Lady requested to salvage for another occasion. Double repurposed. New is not always better..” Social media lit up Wednesday night, applauding Biden’s wardrobe choice and examining the visual details. Throughout President Joe Biden’s speech, VP Kamala Harris stood resolutely beside the president. This is standard procedure, of course, but as the first woman in the role, that means Harris’ sartorial choices are under sustained scrutiny. But she impressed in a cream-colored blazer set by Prabal Gurung. Harris has certainly faced some style criticism. But for the most part as Vice President, she’s flexed the creative fashion of many black designers, including Pyer Moss, Christopher John Rogers and Sergio Hudson. (Gurung, who Harris wore Wednesday night, is Nepalese and based out of New York.) No doubt the entire Emhoff-Harris family is fashion-forward. Harris’ stepdaughter Ella Emhoff recently signed with IMG models... along with the 2021 inaugural poet Amanda Gorman. 

Last week, Fox News spread the false narrative that Democratic President Joe Biden’s climate requirements would force Americans to remove 90 percent of red meat from their diets. How the rumors of the Red Meat Consumption War Began The network’s false claims spread like wildfire on social media, causing most users... including GOP lawmakers like Texas Gov. Greg Abbot, North Carolina Rep Madison Cawthorn and Georgia rep Lauren Boebert... to become outraged. Donald Trump Jr, the former President’s son, tweeted that he was “pretty sure I ate four pounds off of red meat last yesterday. That is going to be a hard NO from me!” Fox Business host Larry Kudlow took the wild claims even further, saying that Americans would have to cut their “poultry… fish, seafood, eggs, dairy, and animal-based fats’ from their diets” with the Biden climate agenda. Fox News hosts Jesse Watters and Ainsley Earhardt also touted claims about the Democrat’s war against red meat, as did Fox Business host Larry Kudlow. The only problem was that it was fake news. New, inconvenient evidence forced top Fox stars, including senior Fox News anchor John Roberts, into an embarrassing climb down. He admitted that the network had “incorrectly implied that it was part of Biden’s plan for dealing with climate change”. CNN fact-checker Daniel Dale wrote that “Biden… has not proposed any limit on Americans’ consumption of any food. The false claim about Biden trying to restrict people to four pounds of red meat per year appears to have originated with a deceptive Thursday article by the British tabloid The Daily Mail. The article baselessly connected Biden’s climate proposals to an academic paper from 2020 that is not about Biden… that claim is complete nonsense.” President Biden and Vice-President Kamala Harris have made climate change a top priority of the new administration. But as Tom Vislack, the Biden Administration’s Secretary of Agriculture said on Monday, “There is no effort designed to limit people’s intake of beef coming out of President Biden’s White House or USDA.” The network’s confusion seems to come from the fact that an April 2020 University of Michigan study recommended a large reduction in people’s consumption of red meat in order to cut harmful greenhouse gas emissions by 50 percent. While Biden’s climate plan also wants to reduce emissions at the rate 50 percent by 2030, conservative media has simply made a false connection based on a target shared by those who care about climate change around the world. 

Rudy’s been raided! Wednesday FBI agents conducted a search on former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani‘s home and office in Manhattan. The federal investigators issue a search warrant at 6 a.m. and though Giuliani has not been charged, the move signifies the bureau is increasing its criminal investigation into former president Donald Trump’s notorious attorney. Now Trump has responded on Fox News. Feds raided both Rudy Giuliani’s apartment and office, retrieving electronic devices from both NYC locations: cellphones and computers. Giuliani’s son Andrew Giuliani first appeared before the press to defend his father. Then, in a statement about the raid, Giuliani called the search a “corrupt double standard” by Justice Department which he says ignores “blatant crimes” by Democrats like President Joe Biden. Giuliani’s lawyer, Robert Costello added, “What they did today was legal thuggery.” As The New York Times pointed out, prior to becoming mayor of New York City, Giuliani was a Republican prosector for the same U.S. attorney’s office that’s now investigating him. In that position, he had a reputation for going hard after “corrupt politicians.” So this recent FBI raid rings with a certain sort of American irony. As a close associate of Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani has been under investigation for shady business dealings in Ukraine during the election cycle of 2019 and 2020. CNN reports that federal agents are trying to determine whether Giuliani was lobbying illegally on behalf that country. Ukrainian officials. For example, Giuliani pressured Trump to fire the career diplomat Marie “Masha” Yovanovitch who was openly critical of the Trump administration. Doing so to honor the wishes of Ukrainian officials would have violated serious laws regarding the influence of foreign agents. Additionally, law enforcement is looking into Giuliani’s collaboration with Ukrainians last year to unearth dirt on the Democratic candidate’s son, Hunter Biden. In 2014, Hunter Biden had joined the board of Burisma Holdings, the largest private oil and gas extracting company in Ukraine. Giuliani also received a $500,000 payment from Ukrainian businessmen Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman. Both men were indicted in 2019 during Trump’s first impeachment... over soliciting Russian interference in the 2016 election... for illegally funneling foreign capital into pro-Trump groups in America. Since then, Parnas has implicated both Trump and Giuliani in various schemes. As Donald Trump’s personal lawyer, Giuliani has traded his previous reputation... as the self-appointed “America’s Mayor”... in favor of brazen backroom Ukrainian quid pro quo. But it seems, for now at least, that he remains supported by the former GOP president. In an interview with Fox Business, Trump said, “Rudy Giuliani is a great patriot. He does these things. He just loves his country. And they raid his apartment. It’s so unfair. It’s a double standard that I don’t think anyone’s seen before. It’s unfair.” Trump’s message echoes Giuliani’s directly with the distracting term: “double standard.” Now most commentators and critics alike are wondering whether Trump’s words, rather than signifying loyalty, are a blueprint for his own defense… as he wonders whether or not he’s the next FBI target. Of course, this news was overshadowed by President Joe Biden’s speech to a joint session of Congress last night marking his first 100 days in office. And that itself was overshadowed by Jill Biden’s memorable dress. 

For the first time since Trump declared the novel coronavirus pandemic a national emergency last March, Americans can safely smile, frown, and even blow air kisses (from a distance) at strangers without the shroud of a face covering... as long as both parties are in a non-crowded outdoor space. That’s according to new guidance released yesterday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “If you are fully vaccinated you can start doing many things that you had stopped doing because of the pandemic,” the new CDC guidance says. “Fully vaccinated” status is achieved two weeks after your second dose of the Pfizer or Moderna vaccines, or two weeks after a single dose of the Johnson & Johnson vaccination. CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky elaborated on the development Tuesday during a White House briefing,  “If you are vaccinated, things are much safer for you.” The health official continued, elaborating on the updated mask guidelines, “If you are fully vaccinated and want to attend a small outdoor gathering... with people who are vaccinated and unvaccinated... or dine at an outdoor restaurant with friends from multiple households, the science shows you can do so safely, unmasked.” The CDC is very clear when it is (and is not) safe to not wear masks outdoors. CDC-sanctioned, safe outdoor settings include: small, outdoor gatherings with a mixture of vaccinated and unvaccinated people, outdoor restaurants with friends and members of your household, outdoor spaces when walking, running, cycling, rollerblading, flying kites, unicycling, doing the macarena, etc. The aforementioned outdoor settings are so low risk that even those without a coronavirus vaccine may participate without wearing a face mask, according to the CDC. Whether you have received a COVID-19 vaccine or not, there are certain settings where you should wear a mask, according to the CDC. The CDC recommends that both vaccinated people and unvaccinated people should continue to wear masks in the following scenarios where social distancing may be difficult: Crowded outdoor events, like concerts, sporting events, and parades, indoor settings, including barbershops and hair salons, indoor malls and museums, movie theaters, and full-capacity churches, public transportation. The CDC is relaxing mask mandates now that more than 50 percent of American adults have obtained at least one dose of the vaccine. Even before the new guidelines, public health experts have long noted the low likelihood of becoming infected with an infectious disease while outdoors. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the chief infectious disease expert in the U.S., has called the risk of spread in outdoor settings “minuscule.” “Virus just cannot accumulate in the air outdoors,” Linsey Marr, a researcher at Virginia Tech, told NPR. “It’s like putting a drop of dye into the ocean. If you happen to be right next to it, then maybe you’ll get a whiff of it. But it’s going to become diluted rapidly into the huge atmosphere.” President Joe Biden has hailed the relaxation of mask requirements as a way to dispel vaccine hesitancy, urging unvaccinated citizens to do so... not just to protect themselves and those around them, but so they can begin returning to normalcy by “getting together with friends, going to the park for a picnic without needing a mask.” 

It took almost 245 years for this to happen...

It’s about time. Finally, a reboot worth watching...

Hahahaha. When you were warned to take half but you wanted the full edible...

Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. "I just want a bigger pocket please, is that too much to ask for? Sincerely, women everywhere."

You know what makes me chuckle? When people reenact pictures from their past... like this one...

Yes, that's me and my sisters... photo taken in 2014. The second one was. The first was way before that... 1980 or '81. Haha. It's never fun when you go above and beyond to plan a special day for your partner to celebrate an important anniversary or key relationship milestone, only to realize they completely forgot about it... Waking up when the sun rises to cook a fancy breakfast-in-bed with a trail of rose petals leading to a beautifully wrapped gift is a nice gesture, but if your partner fully forgot that today is the anniversary of your first date then things can get awkward. That being said, planning a fun day for someone you love should never be about expecting something in return, especially if it isn't a day you normally celebrate. Birthdays and wedding anniversaries are standard, but if you made up a holiday for the first day you ate pancakes on a plane together? Cut your wife some slack for the lack of pancakes and airport-themed decor... Looking back on meaningful memories in a relationship can be a fun, nostalgic way to honor the time you've spent together and the future plans you want to make, but putting pressure on your partner to put in the same exact enthusiasm and effort into important dates is a recipe for resentment and disaster. So, when a frustrated wife decided to consult the moral compass of the Phile about her husband's "vacation anniversary" celebration, I decided to help with a verdict.  

"Am I wrong for forgetting my husband and I's 'vacation anniversary?' My husband  and I have been married for four and a half years now. In the spring of 2018, we took a two-month long trip to Europe/Africa where we stayed in London, Barcelona, and Marrakesh. It was a great time for both of us and since then we've always wanted to do another long trip like that. So, this morning. My husband wakes me up at 7 a.m. with a gift. At this point, I'm a little pissed off because we had both gone to bed at 1 and I wanted to sleep in. So, I open the gift (which is an envelope), and inside are our plane tickets from our home airport to London dated on 4/29/2018. I mean... a little strange but okay? Then, he drags me into the kitchen where I see he's prepared a Spanish-style breakfast for me, which I thought was really sweet of him. He told me that since today was the day we left on our big trip and haven't been able to travel for a year, he wanted to do something special for me to commemorate. I mean, overall it was a really nice gesture even if I was sleep deprived. Our day then goes on as normal (we both work from home). Around noon I go into the kitchen to make some lunch for myself, and my husband comes in and says, 'So, I'm guessing you didn't get me anything?' At this point I'm pretty confused so I'm like, 'get you anything for what?' Then, he gets this exasperated look on his face and says, 'Our vacation anniversary?' I didn't know if this was a joke or not, because we've literally NEVER celebrated this 'vacation anniversary' before, despite it technically occurring already two times in 2019 and 2020. So, I laugh at it and tell him 'maybe next year I will.' He didn't appreciate the joke. He told me that our vacation was more 'significant than our wedding' and that it hurt him that I didn't remember. I apologized to him but he's still got a pissy attitude with me. Am I wrong?" Hmmmm. nope. This is not a yearly event you guys celebrate. You had no way of knowing he was planning to make a big deal about it this year. Can't your husband just do something sweet for you without expecting something in return? A vacation anniversary is a new one to me. Did he say why he considers your “vacation” more significant than your wedding? I mean, personally, I’ve never heard of such a thing so I don’t see how you could be wrong for not remembering to celebrate something you two have never celebrated before. Tell him that you’re “hurt” he didn’t remember for the past two years. I mean how were you supposed to magically know that THIS was the year to celebrate? You can't be in the wrong for something you didn't know was a thing. I'm also pretty bummed with your husband. That was kind of a cute thing he did... and it could have been a great day, but he had to ruin it by getting pissy with you. Ugh. You should talk with him to find out where his frustration came from and make sure there isn't something else going on that he needs help with or that you both need to work on. So, there you have it! This woman was not wrong at all to assume her husband's disappointment about their "vacation anniversary" was a joke, as it wasn't even a celebratory tradition they had established as a couple. Also, for him to say their "vacation anniversary" was more important than their wedding? You can't make up a fake holiday and then get upset that you didn't get a gift. Good luck, everyone! If you have a problem you want my help and opinion on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things Said At Joe Biden's Joint Session Speech

5. Biden promises to bring back McDonald's szechuan sauce.

4. Biden called America the most unique idea in the world as if he's never watched "The Babadook." 

3. Biden now lingering in the House Chamber like it's a swing state Dairy Queen.

2. Biden being boring has been more helpful to my mental health than I expected. 

And the number one thing said at Biden's Joint Session speech was...

1. Joe Biden is relentlessly on message. Too bad every normal person in the country thinks he's banning meat and giving out Kamala Harris's book to immigrant children because of a meme they saw on Facebook. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing substance abuse, call the National Drug Helpline at 1-844-289-0879. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

Looks like a really nice day there.

Bruce Wayne’s parents being murdered was the best thing that ever happened to Gotham.

The 150th book to be pheatued in the Phile's Book Club is...

The great Dolly Parton will be on the Phile in a few weeks.

Today's guest is an American singer and songwriter whose latest release "Transmissions" is available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify. Please welcome to the Phile... Beverly Glenn-Copeland.

Me: Hello, Beverly, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Beverly: I'm doing wonderful, Jason. Thank you for having me. 

Me: So, you have a very interesting story, right? Tell the readers what happened about an email. 

Beverly: Well, one email can change your whole life. 

Me: Explain what you mean. 

Beverly: For 25 years, I performed kids' songs on "Mr. Dressup," but in my spare time, I was making my own music in relative obscurity. I released some cassettes, but estimates that I only sold about 50 to 100... that is, until something amazing happened. In 2015, my life changed when an influential record collector in Japan heard one of my old cassettes and kick-started my career. It happened as instantly as an email landing in my inbox. Now, at age 75, I was touring for the very first time and reaching a whole generation of listeners. 

Me: So, you have an album from 1986 called "Keyboard Fantasies," It must feel like a lifetime ago and you're still talking about that record, am I right? 

Beverly: It actually feels that way to be honest. But at the same time my life has sort of a path of evolvement and that part of my life was so critical even to who I am now that the connection is quite strong. 

Me: So, can I be indelicate? 

Beverly: Sure, you can be indelicate. 

Me: You sold how many of these cassettes? 

Beverly: Maybe a 100, or maybe 50. 

Me: That's more than my CD sold. Haha. Who bought these cassettes? 

Beverly: I mostly sold them to people who were your mothers, who were playing them to their children to put them to sleep. 

Me: What was your reaction when, almost three decades later, you receive an email from a Japanese record collector, asking if you had any copies of the album lying around? 

Beverly: It was out of the blue. I was like, "Okay, I do but how " He said, "Can you send me 30?" I had more than 30 so I sent him 30 and then two days later, he got back to me and said, "I've sold them all." I was like whoah, then I sent him the rest that I had. I didn't really understand the indie industry, which had developed during the time in which I was not paying any attention, because the industry could never figure out what I did. So they had no slot for me. I just didn't think about it. In all those years the indie industry was developing. What I didn't realize was that he had a website that was internationally watched. He put out what he thought what was happening. Suddenly, out of the blue, within the space of two months, I had record companies from around the world that were trying to talk to me about reissuing things. 

Me: Emotionally, what was that like? How do you deal with something like that? 

Beverly: Well, I'm a Buddhist. I've ben chanting for 48 years. What this practice has emphasized is that happiness is not based on material things. Nor is it based on even physical health. Obviously, you need those things for life, but true happiness is based on the joy of being alive. Period. So because this started happening after I've been chanting for 45 years or something the idea that this was going to make me happy was not a part of the equation. But it certainly had a sense which I'm so grateful for. If I'm supposed to in this lifetime offer music as part of what I came to do then that was happening. 

Me: Beverly, where are you from? 

Beverly: I was born in Pennsylvania but spent most of my life in Canada. 

Me: And you said you're a Buddhist? 

Beverly: Yes, I'm a member of an organization called Soka Gakkai International. It's an organization of Buddhists and it's phenomenal from my prospective. 

Me: So, you said you performed songs on something called "Mr. Dressup." What was that? 

Beverly: It was extraordinary. The best part is I got to write music for kids. It was a Canadian children's series. 

Me: That's cool. Okay, so, are the kids that watched you on "Mr. Dressup," are they going to your shows? 

Beverly: Maybe that's why I was meant to be on the "Mr. Dressup" show so the kids could be in the audience later. You never know how the universe works, Jason. 

Me: So, what are your audiences like now that you're doing shows? 

Beverly: People who are about 20s and 30s. 

Me: What do you think of that? 

Beverly: It's extraordinary actually. 

Me: Do you have any idea why this music might be connecting with this generation now? 

Beverly: Well, the things that I was talking about then are the things that the young generation is concerned with now. 

Me: Like what? 

Beverly: You're world citizens, by and large, and you have a vision of respect for all and trying to understand that other cultures may be different, but as essentially humans, we are essentially the same. And also, they're now burdened with this mess that my generation has left them, which is a world that is... dying. You have to understand, I don't think of myself as writing this music. I really think of myself as a radio that a lot of time is turning to certain frequencies that my particular self as a radio could best bring in. And I really always felt the music has been sent to me. And the kinds of lyrics that were coming through was all about that. That's what it is about. That's what I was talking about 40 years ago and now this is relevant to that generation. And I think that's why. 

Me: I read you were part of the folk scene in Toronto in the 70s, right? 

Beverly: Yeah, vaguely. Very, very vaguely. I was never a folk musician so I was never really part of the folk scene. 

Me: Ahhh, so I was wrong. 

Beverly: Well, I played the Riverboat once... 

Me: Okay, so, Beverly, when you were born were you male or female? I'm not sure how to ask that question. 

Beverly: When I was born my assigned sex was female. I knew I was male as early as three-years-old and transitioned about 20 years ago. 

Me: When you were performing then did the audiences still view you as female? Your name is Beverly after all... 

Beverly: Of course they would have. 

Me: How did that factor in to your experience? 

Beverly: If we don't have a language for something, if it's not within the language of our culture, it's very hard to figure out some things, right? So even though at three, I announced to my parents that I was a boy... the subsequent culture, that was 1947 when I announced that. There was no cultural reference for that, none whatsoever. So there was no way in the years of growing up that I could of understood because at three things just come out. Then after that I was being conditioned. Conditioned to this, conditioned to that. I was being conditioned to be female and I was always very uncomfortable with it, extremely uncomfortable with it, but I had no other thing with which to define myself. And then one day, I had something to define myself. I was lying on a beach, reading a book, it was in the mid 90s and in this particular book the memories of this person which happened to be transgendered, I was reading these memories and I thought those are MY memories. All of a sudden there was a language for me to be able to define myself. Then at that point I did. Of course they would of viewed me as female. 

Me: How did you feel then? I bet you were overwhelmed. 

Beverly: It was as though a pallor over my life had lifted. Suddenly, it was very clear to me what had been going on all those years. 

Me: How do you like being back on the road a few years ago? 

Beverly: There's two sides of being on the road. There's I'm happy to be on the road because I can say thank you to my audience. But at the same time I look at it and I laugh. Uh huh, I'm 75 and now I'm going on the road? But my team members, Indigo Rising, they are like my kids, I have all kinds of names for them... "bad bunnies," "good bunnies," but I love them. They're so protective. In fact they're so protective that I don't get a chance to lift anything, I could get even weaker. 

Me: So, do you think you're where you're meant to be? 

Beverly: I think I am exactly where I was meant to be and at exactly the right time. I'm just very happy that I lived to see it. 

Me: So, the songs were written so long ago, Beverly, can you still relate to them now? 

Beverly: I have this theory about life that is when someone is in their early 20s, and the recording was done in my 20s. This is a time of sex and development. That's a natural thing, that's exactly what's going on. Then a little bit later it's less sex and more development. So I'm definitely in that part of my life. This was a time where emotional relationships were what was occupying my mind. 

Me: You think that stops essentially? 

Beverly: Yes, I think it does. 

Me: Why is that? 

Beverly: Because the primary relationship becomes one relationship with ones self. And also ones relationship with the universe. 

Me: Hmmmm. Thanks for being on the Phile, Beverly, this was pretty unique. 

Beverly: Thanks for having me.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Beverly Glenn-Copeland for an interesting interview. The Phile will be back on Monday with singer Tom Bailey... as long as my second vaccine shot goes okay. Haha. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you. bye. Kiss your brain!

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...

Pheaturing Brian Posehn

 

Hey, kids, welcome to the Phile for a Monday. How are you? I'm tired from staying up watching the most boring Oscars ever. There was something definitely off with the shaky camera work, awkward jokes, and sun flooding in through the windows while A-list celebrities sat dressed in their best formal attire and makeup not meant for natural lighting. Still, the glaring problem with the entire night was Chadwick Boseman's snub. Chloé Zhao made history as the first woman of color to win the Oscar for Best Director, there was a beautiful moment with an octopus, Frances McDormand barked, everyone found out there's a live action version of Pinocchio, and Glenn Close danced to "Da Butt." So... it looks like we are ending the month with a very colorful night sky. The final week of April will kick off with a full moon, known as the Pink Moon. Not only that but this is also known as a Super Moon. The Moon will officially become full at 11:32 p.m. ET on Monday, April 26th. It will look full when it rises above the Eastern Horizon that evening. However, before you get your hopes up, unfortunately, the Moon won’t look pink. According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac, “The moon will be its usual golden color near the horizon and fade to a bright white as it glides overhead,” the Almanac said. So why is it called a pink moon? Well, according to the Almanac, “April’s Full Moon often corresponded with the early springtime blooms of a certain pink wildflower native to eastern North America: Phlox subulata... commonly called creeping phlox or moss phlox... which also went by the name ‘moss pink.'” NASA also stated that other names for this moon include the Egg Moon, the Sprouting Grass Moon, and among the coastal tribes of North America, the Fish Moon. This was due to when the shad swam upstream to spawn. Fun fact, this is the first of two Supermoons this year. Supermoons usually occur when the full moon is at its closest approach to Earth and its orbit. The moon appears larger due to the distance of 222,064 miles versus an average of 240,000 Miles. According to Space.com, the moon looks a little bit bigger and brighter at this time. On average, super moons are around 7% bigger and around 50% brighter than a typical full moon. The term Super Moon was created in 1979 by astrologer Richard Nolle. The term has then become increasingly popular in decades since then. According to NASA, it is now used by the media today in order to describe what astronomers would call a Perigean Full Moon. NASA also stated that several different publications are and organizations use slightly different thresholds for deciding which full moons actually qualify as a Super Moon. But for this year, they all agree that two full moons in April and May are indeed super moons. The next full moon will occur on May 26th.

After an unknown suspect threw a large cup of battery acid in her face last month, leaving her scarred and blind in one eye, 21-year-old Nafiah Fatima Ikram just wants answers. Ikram had just driven back to her family’s Elmont home after a 10-hour shift at CVS, where she worked as a pharmacy technician. Her mom, who had been in the passenger seat, scrambled into the house to use the bathroom while Ikram lingered behind. That’s when a man in a black hoodie threw a large cup of battery acid in the college student’s face. “At the time, I didn’t know it was acid. I started walking because I thought it was just a prank... the substance felt warm, room temperature, like juice thrown on me,” Ikram told NBC News 4 New York. “A couple of seconds later it started to burn, I started to panic and ran into the house.” According to The New York Times, the acid seared Ikram’s eye and ran down her throat, burning her lungs. Luckily, her mother, a nurse practitioner, rushed her daughter to the bathroom and doused her in water before calling 911... probably saving her daughter’s life. Ikram, who is a pre-med student at Hofstra University, spent three weeks in the hospital with serious burns on her face, eyes, chest, and arms. More than a month since the attack, the college student still has painful burns and difficulty eating. She is legally blind in one eye... possibly for good, doctors warn. “I can just see colors, but that’s it,” Ikram told CNN affiliate WCBS. Beyond physical injuries, Ikram and her family have also been left with fear and emotional scars. “We cannot relax,” Sheikh Ikram, Ms. Ikram’s father, told The New York Times. “We cannot even sit outside. We are mentally so disturbed.” A month later, the attacker has still not been found. Investigators with the Nassau County Police Department have said they are looking for a man with a skinny build who is about 6 feet 2 inches tall. The man reportedly drove away in a 2013 red Nissan Altima with yellow New York state license plates, according to CAIR New York. Part of the incident was recorded on a surveillance video. Long Island police officers are offering a $10,000 reward for information that helps with the arrest of the attacker or anyone else involved in the crime, says Nassau County Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder. The incident has been earning more attention lately, since “Top Chef” and “Taste the Nation” host Padma Lakshmi posted about it on social media. In the post, Lakshmi calls for “Justice for Nafiah, my family friend and victim of an acid attack” and asks people to donate to a GoFundMe campaign to help pay for her treatment... which totaled more than $370,000. The vicious and seemingly unprovoked attack on Ikram, who is Muslim and of Pakistani descent, comes amid a rise in hate crimes against Asian-Americans in NYC and around the country. Experts believe the surge in hate crimes may be fueled by racism tied to the coronavirus pandemic. However, the Ikram family does not believe that the attack was racially or religiously motivated, in part because it seemed like the suspect waited to attack the daughter and not her mother. “This is about just humanity, you know?” Ikram told CBS4. “That’s what’s important.” “I just want to know why.” Anyone with information is urged to reach out to Nassau County Crime Stoppers at 1-800-244-TIPS or at nassaucounty.crimestoppersweb.com. 

Question! What do you do when you when you’re home alone, only have 10 minutes to style your hair, and can’t find your curling iron or flat iron anywhere? Well, you think fast and go on YouTube to look up cute up-do hairstyles. But no, this woman thought it was a genius idea to basically give up on looking for her curling iron, and use a boiling hot radiator pipe to give her those perfect curls. Yes, she just squatted down on the floor and partially wrapped her long blonde hair around the pipe for that smooth commercial-ready bouncy curl look. Honestly, I really don’t know what to think about this. Let me give you a little background into this whole mess. Apparently, 22-year-old Emily Kendall was prepping for a night out on the town, but almost called her plans because of a “hair emergency.” Don’t lie, ladies, you have all been there. As the mom of one searched for her hair tools, her daughter attempted to touch the pipes. Trying to stop her daughter from touching them, she had an idea, realizing that the pipe was pretty much burning. So, she got down on the floor and then wrapped her hair around the copper pipe, careful enough not to burn herself. You know, the normal. Twenty minutes later, she said her hair was fully curled. Kendall said she was “delighted” that her curls lasted all night, and has vowed to continue her trendy “hack” until she can get another curling iron. She also noted that this “new technique” was way faster, since with her curling iron it takes 40 minutes, and she is “saving on electricity in the meantime.” Which, I mean sure you’re saving time on curling your hair, but do you know the damage you’re doing to it? You’re basically using a freaking heater on your hair! That can’t be good. Even hairdressers hate using any sort of curling iron or hot styling tools on someone, imagine a heater! Yikes. PLUS, what if your hair would have gotten on fire? Now, I don’t know what y’all think about this, but this “good hack” to me seems nuts. Listen, Kendall, I am going to go ahead and give you an A for effort, but an F for creativity because there are way better methods out there. Don’t complain when your hair burns off your skull.

If you’ve ever been rejected by a match through an online dating app, take solace... at least you weren’t turned over to the FBI. Robert Chapman, a New York man who boasted about storming the U.S. capitol to on the dating app Bumble, wasn’t so lucky. In an exchange on January 13th, Chapman boasted to an unidentified Bumble match that “I did storm the Capitol”. The Carmel, New York resident added, “I made it all the way into the Statuary Hall!” and said that he had spoken to reporters at the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal. “We are not a match,” the Bumble user replied, before sending a screenshot of the incriminating conversation to the FBI. After receiving the Bumble tip, the FBI was able to track down other clues linking Chapman to the Capitol riot carried out by a mob of former President Donald Trump supporters. The feds say that a man who looks like Chapman was spotted inside Statuary Hall on body camera footage from D.C.’s Metropolitan Police Department. Their next clue was a Facebook post published a day after the riots. According to court documents, the post was published by user Lisa Jeanne Vunk and included an image of Chapman inside the Capitol. “My Dear friend and BroStar Robert made it in the Capitol building at the protest yesterday… Wooo Hooooooooo!!!!” the caption said. More incriminating clues could be found in Chapman’s own social media posts, where he often implied or even boasted about involvement in the riot. In one Facebook post, he wrote “Gettin out Of New York Shitty, the rotten apple. Gonna go down to the District of Criminality to Enjoy some much deserved Entertainment!” “I’m fucking inside the Crapitol,” he bragged in another, according to court filings. But the final nail on the coffin might have been his profile picture: a selfie of Chapman at the riot. And so, the Capitol riot suspect was taken into custody by FBI agents on Thursday. Chapman is being charged with knowingly trespassing on a restricted building and disorderly conduct on government property. So far, Chapman is one of more than 400 people charged with participation in the January 6 pro-Trump riots in Washington D.C. Many suspected capitol rioters have been turned in by family, friends, and even amateur Internet detectives who use dating apps to collect incriminating evidence and confessions to turn over to law enforcement.

A mural of George Floyd located in Houston, Texas was vandalized, according to Police Chief Troy Finner. Finner stated the vandalism was carried out overnight by a “knucklehead who doesn’t know what their motivation is, hate, or whatever.” According to CNN affiliate KTRK, the mural in Floyd’s hometown with his face was vandalized with a racial slur but has now been covered by the artist who initially created it. Floyd died after former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin kneeled on his neck for more than 9 minutes last year. The former police officer was found guilty of all three charges against him in one of the most-watched trials of the Black Lives Matter. He is said to be sentenced in June. In reference to Chauvin’s verdict, Chief Finner stated that some people were upset and others pleased, but he is encouraging the community to stick together and keep the city at peace. He noted, “But one thing I want to say about Houston, Texas. We stick together. My friends, some of the people and things that I’ve been talking about over the last couple of weeks, us sticking together, and when you see something, you say something. We got the call and HPD are here. I want everybody to understand, ignore people with bad hearts and bad motivation, do not give them the power,” He also warned the vandals that they will be held accountable by Houston Police if they keep doing these sorts of things. President Joe Biden called a guilty verdict in the trial an indictment on unjust policing. He stated “we can’t stop here. in order to deliver real change and reform, we can and we must do more to reduce the likelihood that tragedies like this will ever happen or occur again.” Chauvin was found guilty of second-degree unintentional murder, guilty of third-degree murder, and guilty of second-degree manslaughter. Prosecutor Steve Schleicher argued during the trial that Floyd’s cause of death last May was a direct result of Chauvin’s actions due to his weight on Floyd’s neck. Medical experts stated that he died of low oxygen levels that caused a brain injury and arrhythmia causing his heart to ultimately stop.

Instead of doing this blog thing I should be listening to this album...

Ummm... maybe not. Do you know what makes me chuckle? When people reenact pictures from their past like this one...

Hahahaha. If I had a TARDIS I would try and meet actress Marlene Dietrich. But knowing my luck she'll be kissing a soldier returning home aboard the USS Monticello...

She was German and she helped fighting the Nazis. A good German you would think. But even as late as 1996, she is hated by many Germans for that. Any stroll through a store would have you believe that "pink is for girls" and "blue is for boys" are the associated gender roles are the very backbone of our society. Products from nail clippers to hand lotion are assigned genders when last time I checked, inanimate objects don't have gender identities. Like these bathroom doors...

If you're looking for a graphic design job, you may want to contact whoever employed the people responsible for the following design fail. They are most likely hiring.

Well, that seems unfair. It's always nice to do your partner a solid and help them throw a party for their friends. But what if they're serially abusing the privilege? One woman is asking if she was in the wrong for leaving her husband high and dry when he invited his bros over for a barbecue. She emailed the Phile to ask if she was wrong for skipping out on helping... especially because he's abused the privilege several times before. She says she "always ends up doing everything."

So, my husband likes to invite his friends (note: HIS friends. I am not close with them) for barbecue parties. He prides himself on his BBQ skills. The thing is... I always end up doing everything! He buys and preps the meat and then grills and serves it (and collects praise for his BBQ skills). I have to buy drinks, get out enough dishes, clean up the patio/deck (non native speaker, idk which one to use). I prepare the sides and veggies, I refill the drinks and take away dishes (we don’t use paper plates or plastic cups since I find it wasteful) so as to keep the main table tidy. It’s just nonstop work for me. He just told me last week that he invited his friends for Saturday (so yesterday). Just announced it, didn’t ask me. I said well okay, do I know anyone? Nope, those are his work mates and they won’t be bringing their spouses. My husband called it a “guys’ night." I said okay then, guys’ night, well enjoy yourselves, I will be in my craft room working on some of my projects and drinking wine. He said he will handle it. The BBQ turned out to be a shit show: spoiler alert, he did not handle it. He got the meat alright, but just ignored any other preparation and I was just so sick and tired of being taken for granted (he never asks me for help, I just do stuff...) so I didn’t do anything. The patio was a mess, the upholstery of the garden furniture was all messy from our dogs, the table wasn’t wiped down, there was stuff lying all around. His friends arrived, I welcomed them and then excused myself to my crafts room, put some music on and worked. Cue the messages. He started asking for stuff, like where are the plates (we only keep a small set in the kitchen, the rest is in the basement), where are the cups, why isn’t the beer chilled, where is the non alcoholic beer... did I not buy it? Where are the sides? I just replied that he said he would handle it all himself. This is also where I feel I might have been wrong, it would have taken me just minutes to at least tell him where the stuff is. I checked on the guys a few hours later and it was a disaster. Table all cluttered, they ordered some takeout as sides, there weren’t enough dishes and silverware, someone had to go drive for drinks. On Sunday (today) he was all grumpy and actually told me that he is disappointed that I didn’t pull my weight and that I made our family look sloppy and bad. I told him that I am not his little housewife and that he is a big guy and if he embarrassed himself in front of his work mates, that’s all on him. And that I’m glad that he can see at least a tiny bit of work that I do around the house. He got upset and went for a run to let off some steam. Oh, and the patio is full of dishes, he didn’t even clean the grill. I’m not touching anything. My dear, you didn't have to help but you could've talked to him about this first. Is he always this entitled? Rethink your entire relationship dynamic if he is and start demanding for the kind of treatment you deserve. I love this kind of take a stand thing. You are not a assistant/slave/maid/cleaner. Its gonna be while before your husband will do another BBQ. Not until he learn how much job it take to organize a proper BBQ party. Why he'd think you'd want to waitress for free at his guys night is a mystery. Hopefully he'll understand the invisible work you were doing all this time now and appreciate you for it. I'd also guess that while it was a disaster compared to usual that most of the guests probably had no idea. Well,  hope that works out for them both. If you have a problem you want my advice on then email me at thepeverettphile@gmail.com. Okay, now from the home office in Port Jefferson, New York, here is...

Top Phive Things Summing Up The Chaos Of The 2021 Oscars

5. The lighting at the pandemic Oscars makes it looks like all these famous people put on ball gowns to have a pep rally in the middle school gym/auditorium.

4. I did not have Glenn Close doing "Da Butt" on my Oscars bingo card but here we are. 

3. My Octopus Teacher: the incredible true story of a man wasting an octopus' time. 

2. I've never met Francis McDormand and I still feel she's mad at me. 

And the number one thing summing up the chaos of the 2021 Oscars is...

1. The plan? Campaign a fake Pinocchio movie in the hopes of getting an Oscar nomination. 

If you spot the Mindphuck let me know. Okay, let's take a live look at Port Jefferson, shall we?

Seems like a nice day there. Okay, here's a story from...

It looks like some people really do just have bad luck. A motorist near Port Oregon, Florida called 911 to report a random object that has flown through her windshield and struck her elderly mother on the head. What was this object, you might ask? Oh you know, just a turtle. Yep, the driver realized that the object was not a rock, not a branch, and was definitely some sort of animal. Luckily, the turtle apparently suffered only minor injuries and was later released into the woods by firefighters. A dispatch supervisor at the scene called the incident bizarre, saying that it was crazy for a turtle to actually go through a windshield. (Side Note; apparently this happens… and a lot.) As far as the 71-year-old woman, she’s suffered a cut above one of her eyes and was taken to Halifax Health Medical Center for treatment. Port Orange Police Officer, Andre Fleming stated, “I swear to God this lady has the worst luck of anything.” According to the recording of the 911 call, the woman told a dispatcher that she was driving on the Florida highway near Daytona Beach on Interstate 95 when something had hit her windshield, breaking the glass, and hitting her mother who was sitting in the passenger seat. The dispatcher asked her to confirm the object, and the woman asked a man who had pulled over to help if he had seen anything in the front seat. The man can then be heard saying, “There’s a turtle in there.” To which the women can be heard saying in disbelief, “A turtle? An actual turtle?” LOOOOOL. I would be in disbelief too. So yeah, indeed it was an actual turtle. The reptile apparently suffered scratches to its shell but it was otherwise intact. Police believe that they might have been knocked into the air by another car as it was attempting to cross the road. The dispatcher had instructed the woman to use a clean and dry cloth in order to apply pressure to her mother’s wound, which apparently was bleeding profusely. The mother did not lose consciousness and is expected to make a full recovery. Thank God for that, because that would have been a terrible way to leave this world. This is just so funny to me, you don’t really think about turtles flying into your windshield every day. I’m just glad that both parties are okay. I guess this is your reminder to make sure you look twice for turtles on the road or else go get hit by one.  

The 150th book to be pheatured in the Phile's Book Club is...

The legendary and iconic Dolly Parton will be on the Phile in a few weeks! 

Today's guest is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, musician, writer. Last year In 2020, Posehn released his first music-only album, "Grandpa Metal," which featured guest appearances from Brendon Small of Dethklok, Scott Ian, Corey Taylor of Slipknot and Stone Sour, Weird Al Yankovic, Phil Demmel of Machine Head, Michael Starr of Steel Panther and others. The album consists of comedy metal songs, as well as metal covers of "Take On Me" by A-Ha and "The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)" by Ylvis. Please welcome to the Phile... Brian Posehn.

Me: Hey, Brian, welcome to the Phile. How are you? 

Brian: I'm good, how are you? 

Me: I'm doing good. You have a new heavy metal album out called "Granda Metal," what made you wanna do a record like this? 

Brian: I did songs with Scott Ian before on my stand-up records. After we've done those it was always the idea to do a full album at some point. It's been awhile then about six years ago we signed at Megaforce to do this record and it took that long to make it. Mainly because Scott and I have crazy schedules then it just stretched and stretched and the next thing we knew we had "The Chinese Democracy" of comedy metal records. 

Me: Did you mean to take so long to come out with this record? 

Brian: It was never the intention to take this long but it had taken about five years and we said we better wrap this up. So I got people to help me and we finished the record. I can't actually believe I'm talking about this thing that's been in my head for so long. 

Me: So, what was the main idea? 

Brian: To put out a fun comedy record combining the things I love and hoping that other people will get it. It's really for metal heads. I don't think people that don't listen to heavy metal will find this and enjoy this. If they listened to metal their whole life I think they'll have fun. 

Me: You have a who's who in the metal world on the album, Brian. Was it easy to get all these people? 

Brian: No one straight up said no. The only people were Zetro and Chuck Billy, when I asked them to be on "Take On Me" were like, "Really? You're covering that song?" And I was like yes, yes we are and trust me. When they were doing their vocals they were both recording their vocals up in the Bay Area without me they both said they didn't know how to sing this. "How do you want me to sing this?" And I said, "I want you to sing it like Chuck Billy. That's why I asked you to do this for a reason." It did't take much convincing, they both went "okay." I said, "Do what you do." And it came out amazing. I'm proud of it but it took a little bit for them to go out of their wheelhouse. They don't ever seem to do anything silly or goofy. They're metal all the time, but it took me to say, "I know this song is a little whatever but I just want to do the most metal version of that song." 

Me: I don't know what's more surprising, "Take On Me" or "The Fox, What the Fox Say." How did you pick that song? 

Brian: Well, we did "The Fox" almost six years ago. Then we did "Take On Me" about three years ago before Jill Janus passed, we got her to be on the record. I never went, "These are the two songs that I'm covering." They are just sort of both European pop tunes that we sped up and made metal. Both songs leant to making them heavier. I think they both turned out great and what I pictured. I always said any song I hear would be better if it was made metal and I feel I proved my point with two goofy pop tunes and made them heavy. 

Me: I can't believe that bloody "Fox" song came out originally six or plus years ago. 

Brian: Yeah, right, and I think waiting five years to, we didn't put it out right when the song was popular. I feel like we waited. My favorite part about it was getting Scott Ian doing gang vocals on it. To do that Anthrax style, having him in the booth singing, "what would the fox say?" that stuff cracked me up the most. 

Me: I saw Scott on a plane once and met him at Disney's Hollywood Studios, I gave him a bunch of Fastpasses for his family. He seems like a cool guy, is he? 

Brian: Scott has a great sense of humor and is one of my closest friends. He's so metal and having him, "what the fox say?" it's really silly. 

Me: You're a funny guy, "Weird" Al, who has been on the Phile a few times it a funny guy, you say Scott Ian has a sense of humor, but is any one of these serious metal people surprising they have a sense of humor? 

Brian: Gary Holt. Yeah. I know those dudes. Those guys all have a sense of humor. The thing about the record and all the people I got are all my friends. Exception of one. The only person that's even on the record that I didn't personally ask is Jeff Pilson from Dokken. My producer asked him. Everybody else, they're all my pals. So it took awhile, even 16 years ago, that Gary Holt has a sense of humor. It happened being his friend going, okay, this guy is funny. He wrote these terrifying Exodus songs when he was a teenager but he's a funny dude. 

Me: Who produced the record, Brian? 

Brian: Jay Rustin, whose got a really great track record with really great metal albums. We didn't go and get a nobody in the world of production. We kind of went for one of the best. 

Me: Is this his first record like this? 

Brian: He's done "More Metal Than You" also with me. We've been friends for a while, he did that song and "The Gambler" however long ago I've recorded those, I'm not even sure. On my second comedy record on Relapse I did those two songs. The first one I used Bill Metoyer, who produced "Metal By Numbers." Not often guys doing a first thing hooks up with guys like him. It just came from Scott introducing me and then Jay and I becoming friends. And Jay was super patient with this record. He lives near me so whenever these songs became together... these songs may not have vocals from a year and I'd go, "Hey, man, I finally wrote lyrics for 'Grandpa Metal,' let me come in and do it." Jay was so cool about that. He was in between doing other projects. 

 

Me: Do you think your fans will listen to this record more than your comedy albums? 

Brian: That's what I was going for but there are comedy albums I would listen to. Like Adam Sandler and before that there was Cheech & Chong growing up. Those Cheech & Chong records I'd play over and over and over and over. That's what I was going for, having little sketches as links. I know people nowadays don't listen to records from front to back or at least the younger generation doesn't but I do and I love records that have a cohesiveness and I feel like this does. That was a thing I was also going for. I wanted it to feel like I knew what I was doing. 

Me: You have such a cool career, Brian, doing stand-up, writing Deadpool comics, being on "The Mandalorian." How did this happen? Did you ever expect your career to be the way it is? 

Brian: No, it happened organically. I got to give Scott credit because becoming friends with him. We became friends at the end of the 90s right after I worked on "Mr. Show" it happened because Scott was a "Mr. Show" fan and his roadie recognized me at an Anthrax show. I was alone because my close stand-up friends at that time weren't really metal heads. Now I have friends like that who will go to shows with me. Twenty years ago Patton Oswald was not going to go with me to see Anthrax at the House of Blues. It wasn't going to happen so I went solo, made friends with those guys, and just through him I met everybody else. I can't give him all the credit, a lot of the bands I'd see on the road too. I'd be like in Florida and people would show up and say, "Hey, man, you're hilarious." And I'd be like, "Really? You know who I am?" It happened from these guys recognizing me as a fan because I did talk about Slayer. I did Slayer jokes about 15 years ago that was pro-Slayer. Some of their fans don't completely understand it but the fact I was clear... Even on my first Comedy Central special I had my notebook with all those metal bands. That wasn't an intentional thing, I didn't go up and go, "Hey, I want to meet bands." But that's partly what did it. Me just being out there and them going, "That guy likes what I do too." 

Me: I like it that you wear different bands' t-shirts, Brian. I recently interviewed Lisa Loeb and we talked about that, how she wore a Police shirt and someone mentioned it and she said she was at the concert, she wasn't just wearing the shirt to be hip. I told her at Disney World where I work I a few years ago I saw this girl wearing a Ramones shirt and I asked her jokingly if she ever saw them live and she didn't know they were a real band. My friend Rich also mentioned to one Disney Guest who was wearing a Kiss t-shirt and she said she just liked the picture or something. She was surprised to know Rich knew all their names. You actually wear the band shirts because you're a fan, right? 

Brian: My wife could contest to that. It's something I ranted about for years. The first time I saw Drew Barrymore wearing a Motley Crue shirt, being though it was Motley I was still "nope." I just didn't buy it. Then going into stores with her like Nordstrom and seeing a ripped up Metallica shirt I freak out and I do selfies of me flipping off the shirt. She could contest that's been a thing. 

Me: I do think that this actress, whoever she is looks good wearing a Foghat t-shirt. 

Me: Is that where "More Metal Than You" came from? 

Brian: Yeah, we always judge each other, we always judge other metal heads. We're welcoming and we're like a brotherhood, but we're almost shitty to each other like "what's the heaviest band you're in to?" Or "when did you get into Metallica?" Even going back to the 80s I had a friend who stopped liking Metallica on the second record. He said they were like posers. I was like dude, this stuff is just building. How was he drawing the line in the sand with that band who was changing everything at that time. I think the second record was heavier than the first one, it was produced better. I remember that guy saying, "Those guys are posers." And I said, "You're outta your mind." 

Me: When you were a kid what did you want to do as a career? 

Brian: When I started stand-up I remember seeing as a kid character actors on sitcoms that weren't the lead but would come out, like the guy named Monroe who would come out on a show I cannot remember the name of the show. 

Me: "Too Close for Comfort." 

Brian: Yeah, that was it. Like that kind of show or the guy who owned the pizza place on "Happy Days" who had a couple of lines but would say funny stuff and get big laughs. I remember seeing those guys and going I want to do that. My sights were low as a kid like I never went, "Hey, I want to be Richie Cunningham." I want to be the guy who walks in and says the jokes that are funnier than Richie Cunningham. That was the first thing like that but I never thought hey, I'm going to do that. I just thought that was a cool thing. Then when I started comedy my sights were pretty low with that too. When I feet started out I was like, "Oh, I could do this." And I thought maybe I could be like at that time like Pauly Shore, I'm his age. I thought if I could do that, get on MTV and be the long haired guy that tells metal jokes, because that's the kind of stuff I was doing when I started, but then I lost my hair. That ruined everything and then I fell into all these things. 

Me: You did sitcom's, Brian. How did that happen? 

Brian: With the sitcom stuff it came from me moving to L.A. and the first time I was on stage in L.A. a casting director saw me and had me come in the next day for a show and I got a part. Shit like that doesn't happen to everybody. That's nothing I could plan either. I never said, "I'm going to go down and start getting on sitcoms." But that's what happened. I was in L.A. in the 90s and immediately while I was working on stuff like "Mr. Show" I was still going out on auditions and ending up on "Friends" and shit like that. 

Me: Was it easy getting on shows then? 

Brian: A lot of it was through friends, not the show "Friends" but most if the stuff came from fellow writers going, "Hey, you know who could do this?" Even "The Mandalorian" recently that came from an editor who worked with me on the Sarah Silverman program. They knew Jon Favreau, there's this small part but they wanted it to be somewhat recognizable but also someone who is going to want to do a small part in a Star Wars thing. Get Brian Posehn. That's how I got "The Big Bang Theory," that's how I got "Just Shoot Me." Very few of those shows I never even auditioned for. It's just a writer going, "Brian Posehn does this thing where he screams. He'll scream in your face so get him for 'Just Shoot Me.'" That's how that happened. 

Me: You are so fucking lucky. Brian, thanks for being on the Phile. I wanted you on the Phile for a long time. Please come back again. 

Brian: Of course, Jason, thanks for having me. See ya around, man.

That about does it for this entry of the Phile. Thanks to Brian Posehn. The Phile will be back on Friday with Beverly Glenn-Copeland. Spread the word, not the turd. Don't let snakes and alligators bite you. Bye, love you, bye. Kiss your brain.

Give me some rope, tie me to dream, give me the hope to run out of steam, somebody said it could be here. We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year. I can't count the reasons I should stay. One by one they all just fade away...